"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream." - Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House

currently experiencing that distinct type of terror reserved for the days leading up to burnout. I may have reached the point of no return (I somehow slept for 15 hours last night)

say what you will about annotating books, but I can't fully process what I'm reading without it sometimes

yeah, people do lie on the internet, however i am so passionate about things that if i lie it will feel like i committed an autistic sin

when i say "romanticise the ordinary" i don't mean "hide all aspects of your life that do not fit under some kind of aesthetic" but rather "strive to find beauty in all the little things because i promise you, happiness can be found everywhere"

I realized all my friends got rid of me as soon as they could and now no one else will give me a chance haha yay

I'm so sorry to hear that <3 Something very similar happened to me years ago and it still hurts when I think about them. I hope this is a comfort to you but it gets better. There are probably always going to be mean kids and cruel adults like this, but after you go through this situation for the first time, you start understanding what kind of friends you actually need in your life. Knowing who you need will help you find them. You're allowed to be picky about choosing your friends, and you should be. I only really have one person close to me at the moment, but I'm getting to know a whole group of lovely people that seem like the type of friends I've been looking for. If they don't work out because we aren't a good match, I'll take a little break socially and then start looking again. I'm only going to recommend this part to adults because of safety reasons, but the internet is super helpful for meeting people, especially if you're autistic. There are still rude people on the internet, obviously, but I've found that it's easier to find people who vibe with you online than in person. Hugs to you and all who relate to this. You are worthy of love and friendship, and there are potential friends out there feeling the same way as you right now. Wishing you the best as you start to heal from this and look for the type of friend you need.

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD!❣️ Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people you adore! Absolutely no pressure but. It's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out <3

Me rn

bestie the solution was not that your friends hated you, it's that they weren't your friends. 💔

Very true. It was just very jarring, especially because these were the only types of friendships I knew at that point. The whole experience kind of had Truman Show vibes for me. I am grateful that the realization caused me to stop ignoring my instinctual feelings about things. I feel much safer now, but I definitely recognize that I still have a long way to go

every time I try to write using the found family trope I feel like I'm just writing desperate fanfiction about myself and I simply cannot continue

in the pilot jackie teases shauna abt her catholic phase and to that shauna responds that she liked the saints bc she thought they were so tragic. in the last ep of s1 during their fight the first insult shauna calls jackie is tragic. she calls her other things too but its so intresting that the first thing she thinks of is tragic. to me thats like a freudian slip. jackie was shaunas saint.

Thank you for this. Amazing and very welcome advice. I didn't realize my post would be as relatable as it turned out to be. Hugs to all of you who have been through something like this. I promise you that there is hope, and there are people out there who can vibe with you even if it takes a little time for you to find them. It's still very much worth waiting for. I have less people around me now than I did in middle school, but my current friendships are deeper and more genuine. I also have people who are acquaintances and will probably stay that way. That's okay too. It took me a long time to realize but it's okay to like being around certain people and not want them to be your best friends. I also would like to point out that I don't regret my past friendships one bit. They were very important to me, even if I wasn't as important to them, so I think the experience was worth the pain in the end. Of course, I recognize that that's not going to be the case for everyone, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Once again, hugs to you all. I very much agree that it's important to not just accept your gut feelings blindly but to carefully consider them. I ignored my instincts for so long that I completely forgot how to read them, but I'm slowly figuring that out again. Thanks to everyone for letting me know that I'm not as alone in this as I thought I was <3

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

nothing makes me feel like a kid on Christmas morning more than buying more than one book at the bookstore

If they hated you they weren't your friends. I'm sorry you've had that experience.

Thank you for this <3 you're so right. I just wish I would have found out sooner instead of ignoring my own instincts about things. it does make me super grateful for the friends I do have tho. they are wonderful people and I love them

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints