A chat with Bellamy Shoffner

Bellamy Shoffner is a social entrepreneur, writer, blogger living in Charlottesville.  Bellamy and I first connected for the podcast, a few years ago to discuss her magazine Hold The Line.  That first conversation has turned into annual check in’s- as we both navigate Black motherhood and social activism. In this conversation Bellamy and I chat about George Floyd, the protest his death have ignited, our frustration with sudden allyship- including the inclusive lessons teachers are now sending home and defunding the police.

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Black Lives Matter - A response to the George Floyd murder...

BLACK LIVES MATTER 

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S4 E2: Nefertiti Austin - Motherhood so White PART 2

This week, I am finishing up my chat with Nefertiti Austin, author of Motherhood So White:  A Memoir of Race, Gender and Parenting in America. 

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S4 E1: Nefertiti Austin - Motherhood so White PART 1

This week, I am chatting to Nefertiti Austin. Author of Motherhood So White:  A Memoir of Race, Gender and Parenting in America. 

Stay tuned at the end for a preview of part two of our conversation. 

I also reference the group Parents of Black Children. You can learn more here: www.parentsofblackchildren.org

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S4: Intro Episode

I'm so excited to bring you Season 4 of the podcast.

This is a mini epsiode.  Just an introduction to the season and a special chat with the little madam!  She drops some home truths on this woke mommy.

I referenced the advocacy group I started with a number of amazing Black moms, - check out the website.  If you are interested in starting a chapter - connect with me!  Let's take this global!  www.parentsofblackchildren.org

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I started the Woke Mommy Chatter Blog nearly three years ago this month. I was kicked out of an ‘everyone’ mommy group for asking if other Black moms wanted to get together to help affirm our kids. I realized that Black motherhood is very invisible. Even to each other...Black mom to Black mom. We don’t talk about the specific challenges we face raising our kids. We deal with it. We manage. The kids grow up and we forget. People have a tendency to look back at the childhood of their kids with rose coloured glasses. Sometimes the experience of getting a Black kids through to adulthood is so traumatic you just don’t want to look back (as is often the case with my own mother). I didn’t want to forget and I didn’t want to filter my motherhood experience anymore. Along the way I’ve lost friends. Because I refuse to NOT talk about race and the role it plays in my life and my kids life. My blog and podcast is a warts and all look at Black motherhood. I often post things that people find surprising, it may be unflattering. But it’s the truth. I’m determined that my children will grow up to be self loving, pro-Black, confident, justice doing people. Right now, they are trudging through life, this is my time to shape them and I’m sharing that with you in the hopes that it helps some others out there. So Happy blogiversary to me. Don’t judge, just commiserate and share. . . . . ... #blackmomsbelike #blackmomblogger #blackmombloggers #blackmomwriter #blackwriters #blackmoms #blacklivesmatter #blogger #blog #podcast #podsincolor #blogaversiary #blogging #blackfamily #blackkids #blackchildren #blackchildrenmatter https://www.instagram.com/p/B0hety1FN_X/?igshid=1kbv4xvwcg5ju

So by now I’m sure you all have heard about the racist YouTube cartoon, that cursed a ‘princess’ by making her ‘ugly’ which in fact meant turning her into a Black girl. My kids have been banned from YouTube without an adult curating for a while now. But, it’s still shocking how despite our best efforts as Black parents,self hate, negative stereotypes about Black people and Blackness still creep in. We live in a very white community, they go to a PWS. Our circle of friends are mostly Black. They have our family around them constantly. My daughter’s dance school is predominately Black. We talk about race. We do our best to affirm them and yet despite all that, when the little madam saw three Black men in my neighbours yard, I caught her climbing on a chair ‘spying’. She wonders allowed what they are doing there. I say, ‘maybe they are family.’ She says ‘maybe they are stealers’. Aside from the fact that she meant robbers or thiefs. I’m so disappointed that at 6 this is the first thing that comes to my Black daughters mind when she sees Black men in our White community. Perhaps I’m projecting, but I also know that when a friend tells me her Black teenager is so used being around White people that they are scared of Black people, I wonder how in the world she could let that happen. But there is no 'letting' that’s how strong and pervasive the the negative stereotypes and messages about who we are as Black people is. They infiltrate even the most affirming homes. They surround us, and no matter how you try to keep them out, they invade your space. This is why Black parents may seem obsessed. This is why, I don’t feel guilty when I throw out white dolls, or hide the white dolls, characters she gets for her Birthday. But, this episode has taught me that I can’t let me guard down. I can’t be complacent and I can’t pat myself on the back, just yet. We have a long road ahead and I have a conversation to have with the little madam. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #representationmatters #blackgirls #blackmoms #blackkids #blackparents #blackmomblogger #blackmomsblog #podcast #podsincolor #blackwomenpodcasts #blackpodcasters #stereotypes https://www.instagram.com/p/B0doaoMFv7N/?igshid=1l381wil2wzsm

I’m so excited about #HalleBailey as the new #LittleMermaid. I’m not even going to comment on all the hurt racists in their feelings. Except to say two things Brandy as Cinderella and the whole casts for that movie proved colour blind casting works and two we are getting some great memes! These are my favs. . . . . . . . . . . . #disney #blackgirlmagic #blackmoms #representationmatters #representation #representationalart #bestmemes #mermaid #hallebailey #halleberry https://www.instagram.com/p/BzjsHvjldnr/?igshid=1s5eyy4bi5h9j

I’m so excited about #HalleBailey as the new #LittleMermaid. I’m not even going to comment on all the hurt racists in their feelings. Except to say two things Brandy as Cinderella and the whole casts for that movie proved colour blind casting works and two we are getting some great memes! These are my favs. . . . . . . . . . . . #disney #blackgirlmagic #blackmoms #representationmatters #representation #representationalart #bestmemes #mermaid #hallebailey #halleberry https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzjr18jFLiE/?igshid=1k2e5j4ods2xo

Apparently this mess means the boy child is in the middle of a #LEGO battle and I’m just supposed to leave it. The bottom of my feet can’t take it! Is it sacrilege to clean it up? . . . . #childsplay #lego #legobattle @lego #8yearoldboys #playtime #momblogger #blackmoms #blackmomsblog #blackboyjoy #momlife #blackmomsbelike #tidyingup #toys https://www.instagram.com/p/By5lhlelDyD/?igshid=ngdmth26hpde

The Woke Mommy Chatter podcast is now available on @iheartradio @iheartradioca. Be sure to download the podcast and follow. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-woke-mommy-chatter-the-pod-31158627/ Season 4 will be back in the fall. Now is the perfect time to catch up on all the episodes you’ve missed! #blackmomblog #blackpodcasts #blackposcasters #blackwomenpodcasts @spotifypodcast @blavity @applepodcasts @cbcpodcasts @rsp.podcast @2bbcpodcast @blackcanada @byblacks #blackmoms #podsincolor #podcastlife #podcast #podcasts #podcaster #podcastincolor #canadapodcast #feministpodcast #feministpod https://www.instagram.com/p/BynbPtbFvXk/?igshid=1e8umlpxqwjim

As the country goes wild cheering for the @raptors. Let’s take some time to be real about what the typical response to #Blackyouth looks like. There’s something so unsettling about a country going wild for Black athletes when anti-Black racism is so real and pervasive. @nba #blacklivesmatter @kawhileonardofficialfanpage @kyle_lowry7 #blacklivesmatter #socialjusticeeducation #antiblackracism #blacklivesmatter✊🏾 #blackboys #blackgirls #basketball #nba #wethenorth #wethenorth🏀 https://www.instagram.com/p/Byd_a6ilLPP/?igshid=11tdvnvhv33sz

RAPTOR FOOT!!!! Who is repping the @raptors @rap with The Raptor Foot dance? One more win! This is Gregory Hines owner of @doahlacademy with his version of the Raptor Foot Dance! 🏀 🏀 🏀 #raptorfoot #raptors @nba #basketball #raptorswin #dance #dancechallenge #blackdads #daddance #toronto #torontoraptors https://www.instagram.com/p/BydStd2lw0D/?igshid=1psdd1nwa0olc

I want so badly to watch @ava @whentheyseeus on @netflix. I just have not been feeling emotionally strong enough to sit down and watch it. I know it will be #devastating. But I’m sharing for those of you able to watch and bare witness. Don’t be passive, take your emotions after watching and use them as a catalyst to make change for Black children across the Western Hemisphere. This is not just an #american story. This is the story of Black Boys in #Canada, #UK and other predominantly White western countries as well. What are you going to do to change that? #socialjustice #socialjusticeeducation #blackmomblog #blackmoms #blackbloggers #socialjusticewarrior #centralparkfive #netflix #avaduvernay #whentheyseeus https://www.instagram.com/p/ByX4iTDFo7G/?igshid=m3xo2ba6s5mg

Well over two years ago I wrote an article about #khloekardashian and #culturalappropriation of #blackhairstyles. I still get annoying mail from time to time about this piece. I don’t know what it is, but telling privileged white people that they shouldn’t do something is particularly disconcerting for them. This is the latest mail. I’m not responding, but I’m posting here for anyone else who has something to say about this! #whitefragility #whiteprivilege #blackmoms #blackhair #blackhistory #blackpride #doublestandards #socialjusticeeducation #blackmomblog https://www.instagram.com/p/ByNfMjFFbMj/?igshid=k1izcb226xac

I grew up in #janeandfinch. For anyone in America, this is essentially an inner city community. It is a community plagued with stigma from people, who don’t live there, but think they know all about it. Yes, it’s a community full of immigrants and refugees, yes it is a community that knows poverty. But it’s also a neighbourhood where you knew a lost child wouldn’t be harmed, where people sat on the grass outside their apartment buildings in community. Where many many of us, went to school, grew up, lived our lives. Some of us became doctors, some of us have Master’s degrees and PhD’s, some of us are politicians and lawyers. Yesterday, someone with power to make decisions that impact families that look like mine, told me that communities like #JaneandFinch should be blown up. Then she told me I was an ‘exception’ when I told her that is where I grew up. I am NOT the exception. #IamJaneandFinch. I know there are many of us who grew up in neighbourhoods like Jane and Finch who hide it. Who give another intersection or general area of town instead of dealing with the ignorance that comes with acknowledging our community. I used to be one of those people. I stopped years ago. I am proud of where I grew up. I am a product of where I grew up. I am NOT an exception. #IamJaneAndFinch. #stophiding #truth #community #anti-Blackracism #socialjusticeeducation #antiblack #socialjustice #blackmoms #blackcommunity #janeandfinchmall #janeandfinchclassic #janeandfinchcommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/ByC6MwnlzzP/?igshid=17mzitn4a0asn

Happy #MalcolmX day. Now more than ever I’m turning to the words of this inspirational leader. #blackpower #malcolmx #malcolmxday #blackliberation #blackliberationmovement #activism #socialjustice #socialjusticewarrior #socialjusticeeducation #equity #civilrights #antiblackracism #antiblack https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxpj-6qgv3s/?igshid=sn8fjnwtohh2