void-galaxy-healing-journey
Void Galaxy’s Healing Journey
⛓️ ¡Welcome!
⛓️ Our main blog has so many things on it now that our personal progress posts & healing stuff & just...all original content really...are getting drowned out by reblogs and posts where we combined meaningful posts from other people. I’d like a space for our original stuff to be seen too, so I guess separate blog it is. ~Nico ⛓️
⛓️ pfp art by me/us ⛓️
⛓️ main is @void-galaxy-shenanigans
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Contradictory BS in the workplace 😭
separated by formats/structures because a lot happened & I have a lot to process about it—
I’ll drop a read-more after the chat format so you can opt in or out for the longer ones 😅 ~Nico
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(chat format)
The sick policy (training videos; follows legal requirements): don’t come in if you’re sick. no really, don’t come in if you’re sick. you will get other people (coworkers &/or customers) sick. don’t come in. Call out sick. For real, just call out.
The health check every time we come in: ¿Have you been nauseous, thrown up, or had [list of symptoms of covid-19] in the past 3 days? If so, we’ll send you home. Don’t come in sick, period. Don’t lie or omit if you are sick.
(↑ emphasized very strongly (way more than other food places I’ve worked, seems actually genuine) for literally five whole minutes (the video was just about this). That training video was just ‘here’s what happens if you come in sick (how sickness spreads), don’t come in, don’t come in’ over & over again, & at one point it was word for word “no really, don’t come in if you’re sick”. It did not say when to call in, or anything around that other than just ‘call the store or the manager’. I know it’s still food but this is the only food place I’ve worked that does a Health Check you have to sign with a manager every time you come in, just to make sure you aren’t sick.)
The call-in policy: Never, ever No Call No Show. If you do that twice that’s an immediate termination. Call the store or call your manager(s). Notify someone ASAP, even if it’s an emergency and it’s a delayed communication. Never skip a shift without telling us what’s going on.
~
Me (yesterday): *wakes up sick, probably from a coworker (worked Wed thru Fri, woke up sick Sat)*
Me, as soon as I woke up° (half an hour till my shift), trying to follow the policy as I understood it¹ but also trying to not No Call No Show: Hey, I’m sick. I’m nauseous & my throat is swollen shut. [per the policy, I’m not allowed to come in (and shouldn’t for my own health). ¿right?]
° the point I realized “oh fuck, I’m physically sick/ill”
My (autistic) GM: *likes the message* yeah, don’t come in, we’ll be fine
Me, now sure I can message the other manager(s) & my trainer so they also know (because I was told not to come in (because I’m sick)): *sends a message via the group chat so my trainer & any other managers on shift will know*
Other manager on shift & my trainer: *both like the message*
(no complaints or comments³, texting was fine, the manager on shift & my trainer liked the message I sent in the group chat, & my GM liked the text I sent, everyone saw it, we’re fine)
~
Me this morning (15mins pre shift²): hey, trying to understand/clarify how the sick policy and health check works here (genuinely asking), if I got nauseous &/or threw up yesterday, ¿am I then not allowed to come in for the next 2 days? or ¿am I allowed to come in as soon as I feel better?
My (autistic) GM: You’re actually supposed to call out 2+ hours before your shift every time, but yeah if you threw up or were nauseous all day then don’t come in today. Just know that today is the last day we have [your training partner] with you, so you’ll be alone on grill tomorrow morning.
Me: That’s okay, I think I understand what I learned from him so far, I’ll be okay. [What I need to know is when to cook *more* food, which is easier to learn alone because I’ll have to pay attention to when food runs low & refill everything that runs low, so I’ll figure out at what point (1/2 batch, 1/4 batch, “portions”) I should drop each kind of thing.]
~
Me, afterwards (to myself): so...¿am I expected to wake up 2+ hours pre shift every single day just in case I get sick, so I can call in? I work at 8a. ¿do I really have to wake up at 6a every day just to check & then go back to sleep (until I have to get ready) if I’m fine? ¿am I supposed to wake up while I’m trying to rest, because I’m sick, just to let you know the night before that I’m still sick, so you know in advance that I shouldn’t be there the next day? ¿am I expected to come in sick on the days that I can’t call in 2 hours prior, because I overslept my alarm (because I’m sick, which physically weighs my body down & makes me super sleepy) or because I didn’t expect/plan to have to wake up at 6a to check? ¿am I expected to No Call No Show every time I can’t call in sick 2+ hours prior?
Me, even more confused & irritated: ¿how are the policies so contradictory in action? like, if you’re gonna make a policy that insists I can’t work if I’m sick, and a policy that I have to contact you if I can’t work, ¿why is it my responsibility to wake up early just to let you know if I happen to get sick, which is an unpredictable event (similar to an emergency, just a more common one)?
(¹ me being autistic, following how it was explained to me in the training videos & employee handbook, following the exact directions given & not assuming any implications, ¿especially because my GM is autistic too & should specify if there’s a caveat or something?)
(² because that’s when I realized it might be a problem / might break policy)
(³ they already had someone on grill with me, it was already covered, I was an extra body to shadow & learn, but I’ve already trained (& refreshed training) for 5 days before & another 3.5 days now. I think I get the basics, it’s pretty repetitive. I just need to work on increasing speed to a sustainable but efficient spot & learn when to cook more food/which items to cook when (the veggies cook in like. 3-4mins but chicken takes ~15-20mins at a guess (you cover the whole grill, a bag at a time, it’s a lot of chicken), so the timing varies on what to drop when, & how much backup we’re allowed to hot-hold varies)
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(in smaller paragraphs)
I hate how contradictory employers are when they make policies & then enforce them in contradictory ways or add in contradictory (somehow “more important” to enforce), & often illegal, caveats that defeat the whole point of their own policies (&/or override legal obligations).
I got sick, and...the (unnecessary, stupid, contradictory) conflict with my GM is so ridiculous & unhelpful, & also confusing. & I’m pretty sure they’re technically breaking employer regulations when it comes to food industry & going to work sick. The pressure to come in sick if I don’t call enough in advance is stupid, and illegal.
It’s even more wild to me that my GM is also autistic, & open about it, but she still got angry at me for not assuming implications that were never clearly communicated at any point in the training content or handbook.
& I’m like...GM, ma’am, um... you admitted this is a lot of people’s first ever job & you’re so mindful of that in the way you train on positions (actually has training manuals for each task, actually has someone to shadow & train you for at least a week instead of throwing you out there alone day 2 & getting upset when you don’t “get it”), & each food place I worked has different variations on these policies, & you knew that.
not even including that you’re also autistic, & because I have accommodations you know for certain I’m diagnosed with ADHD & autism. You know I’m more likely to take the instructions/policies at their word & not read “between the lines”.
¿Why are you angry at me for what you never communicated?
~~~~
~~~~
(full version with big paragraphs)
I got sick from a coworker & I’ve been down this weekend. I discovered how the sick policies work, in a very annoying & inconsistent way. my GM is also bad at communicating, & seems to forget I’m new (day 6 or 7).
I texted in yesterday, & that was fine (couldn't speak, stated as much). But it was pretty close to the shift because I woke up at like. 8a (I usually start at 8:30a). & yesterday she was like that’s okay, don’t come in sick. Today she complained that I should call in 2+ hours pre shift (¿I work at 8:45a?? ¿you want me to wake up at 6:30a every day just in case I’m sick? ¿just to check if I gotta call in? ¿the heck?).
I was mostly just clarifying the sick policy, because they do a health check every morning that's like ‘have you been nauseous, had diarrhea, thrown up, or had [list of covid symptoms] in the past 3 days?’ so I texted my GM ‘hey if I was nauseous & sick yesterday, ¿does that mean I’m *not allowed* to come in the next 2 days (so it will be 3 days prior)? ¿am I even allowed to work today?’ & she was like ‘well if you were really nauseous all day & probably threw up then no don’t come in today, but in the future, tell me the night before if you’re still sick’. Like. when you’re sick, ¿you’re supposed to sleep a lot? (& my body gets physically weighed down so I really struggle to stay awake.) ¿what if I just don’t wake up till morning of (on accident), or close to my shift because I overslept my alarm? ¿am I just supposed to come in sick if that happens? ¿will I seriously get in trouble for not predicting illness? (/genuinely confused & frustrated)
To be fair, I am still sick today. I got super nauseous around the time I asked if I was allowed to come in, so I probably should rest. But the inconsistency, poor communication, lack of clarity... it’s all annoying & confusing. 🙄😭
#~Nico#personal#personal vent#personal blog#capitalism#fast food#food industry#stupid policies#policies#workplace#workplace policies#vague corporation#corporation#fuck corporations
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If anyone knows of quick ways to make a *lot* of money, let us know, & otherwise....please help 😭 ~Nico
Current tally:
Registration: 0/125
Litter: 0/15 to 0/30
Wet food: 0/14 to 0/20
Dry food: 0/14 to 0/30
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Me: recovering from flashbacks, half dissociated
My kitty 🐱 Liliana: mrow?
Me: “the horrifying dark lore of my past came back to haunt me.”
Liliana 🐱: mrow💜
Me: Yeah, I'll be okay
~Nico (he/they)
((I was attempting to sound less boring & ended up making myself laugh 😅💜))
#~Nico#he/they#post traumatic stress disorder#traumatic childhood#trauma#ptsd#making myself laugh#11:35pm#healing#healing from trauma#personal blog#trauma healing
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¿Passive aggressive vague posting, without even letting me have time to properly formulate a discussion/be ready to talk? Not my style. Very rude. Unnecessary. Immature.
¿Why does she think that's okay?
Let alone that she outright lied in her post that we haven’t talked to her in 48 hours, *immediately* after Shatter (protector) told her we need time to communicate our emotions without being too mean with the wording (technically a bluff, we need time to allow ourself grace to be a little mean). Like. immediately. We had just communicated.
I'm so tired of being neglected &/or abused by emotionally unavailable people who then get angry the moment I make myself unavailable, even just to gather myself for a serious discussion (which she knows I have trauma around & can't force/rush, doing so will make me be inauthentic and bitchy rather than genuine and clear). I deserve better. I want better.
I am bleeding (emotionally). I am tired. I just wanted to be loved, and to do it right this time around. But I guess, like they say, no matter what you do right you'll always be the villain in some people's stories.
That is all.
~Nico (he/they)
#trauma#adult trauma#relationship#relationship trauma#healing#healing from trauma#trauma healing#boundaries#~Nico
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New pattern realized.
I go quiet when relationships start to go bad. I knew I went quiet on the partner, but I realized that I didn’t tell my best friend, or my adoptive parent, or anyone who would’ve cared.
I start self isolating, by accident at first but then on purpose because it feels like no one notices. Maybe some of them do. But the ones who don’t hurt.
I made the effort today to reach out to my support network, to share the poems I’ve been writing, hidden as if behind closed doors, about how one of my romantic relationships began & continued to go wrong. I hadn’t told anyone, until I was at my best friend’s house and it just...exploded out of me because it’s all been too much.
They’ll be angry (protective). But that’s okay. That’s okay. It’s okay to let people get angry at a grown adult who neglected the fuck out of their partner & then guilt tripped them for pulling back.
Because apparently it’s fine for her to be physically & emotionally unavailable all the time, but if I’m emotionally unavailable for a few hours she freaks out and starts guilt tripping me about how much she misses me. after making exactly one (brief) phone call in 2¼ months, and only calling back or answering five calls in that time (for a grand total of 3½ hours we spoke in over 2 months), & cancelling every in person meeting...¿she still has the audacity to say she misses me? It’s her own fault.
Maybe they should be angry. Maybe I should be angry too.
~Nico (he/they)
#~Nico#personal#personal blog#personal vent#vent#vent post#healing#healing journey#healing journal#healing from trauma#trauma healing
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Also sharing here because I don’t know which has better reach right now
~Nico
i figure someone around here knows this so i’m gonna ask—
YouTube is glitchy asf & i want to escape Google suite, but i want some videos (covers & whatnot) that i can’t get elsewhere as MP3/MP4 files that i can use on my phone &/or MP3 player.
(i searched for them first on other platforms, but they’re exclusive unfortunately.)
¿does anyone here know a site that actually works/gives functional MP3/MP4 files that isn’t (a) gonna steal data, (b) doesn’t have viruses, (c) doesn’t stop the download with ads & refuse the file to give it to me, & (d) hopefully (i’ll accept if not but) also lets me cut/trim parts of videos (to remove the ‘join my patreon’ spiel or the extra music and whatnot at the beginning or end of a video (that YT has often))?
i’m very new to the ‘i really don’t want to support the platform/creator, but i know i want to have the content somehow, and i know there are alternative file methods to access these’ (gathering content from creators that I love & want to support but can’t get elsewhere) scene. i don’t have the resources or knowledge of the existing options, and a quick search on any platform (Google of course, but also Bing & DuckDuckGo) isn’t giving me anything that works.
so many people post about free books & whatnot, so i figure this is a reasonable place to reach out. please let me know if you have some ideas. of course, for extremely legal purposes.
~Nico
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Pinned Post
¡Hey hi hello! My name is Nico, & we’re the Void Galaxy. We’re a traumagenic D.I.D. system. This blog is just for original content, especially realizations we’ve had along our healing journey.
I might add FAQs later on, but until then, have some info on me/us to start this new blog up ☺💜 ~Nico
⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️
Gender:
Collective Identity: transgender + non binary (variations between headmates on fem or masc, but none of us are women, even our fem enbies are not women)
Collective Pronouns: he/they/xey on paper, but if used in good faith we accept some alternate pronouns
Collective Gender Expression: androgynous overall, but sometimes we go more intentionally fem or masc
Personal Identity (Nico): boyflux / masc nonbinary
Personal Pronouns: (Nico): he/they + a list of neo & old English pronouns (I have a list)
Gender Expression (Nico): varies day to day tbh. some days I'm intentionally androgynous but my Safe Outfit™ (tism) is relatively masc (t-shirt, button down, form-fitting sweatpants; t-shirt is a plural pride one).
⛓️
¿Transition?:
Social: Yes, already did 5+ years ago
Medical: on T (May 2nd 2023), want surgeries for ourself, but don’t believe it’s obligatory for others. also I/we want the body to look intersex because that’s what it was supposed to be, so we’re not aiming for cisman appearance.
Legal: In progress. Name changed, but want to update gender marker & birth certificate when possible.
((we don’t believe any of this is necessary to be trans or nonbinary, just comfortable sharing what we wanted to/are doing for ourself))
⛓️
LGBA+/Queerness:
Collective Orientation: “I dunno, queer? leaning t4t?” (difficult to generalize)
Personal Orientation (Nico): technically I lean t4t & I’m still aspec (demi/demiro; T shifted us a little further from full acearo territory but not out of aspec entirely), but simply put ‘no matter what your gender is, I’m gay for you’
Polyam/Non-Mono/Mono: Polyam collectively, but how many partners we individually attract to/would date varies
⛓️
Physical Disabilities:
⛓️
Mental Illness/Disabilities & Neurodivergence (AKA what we’re growing & healing through/may post about):
Autism/ADHD: Both, & both are professionally diagnosed (finally 😭) - includes Sensory Processing Disorder
Professionally Diagnosed: bipolar disorder (we only noticed depression thanks to amnesia & slower swings, until psychiatrist dx & medicated); complex PTSD (on paper as just PTSD because complex isn't in the DSM-V (hopefully will be in the next rendition)); Dissociative Identity Disorder/D.I.D. (or as Spirit (headmate) puts it (combining OSDD-1 & D.I.D.), ‘Dissociative Amnesia with Plurality’)
Diagnosis/Professional Investigation In Progress: eating disorder (unspecified); anxiety disorder (unspecified); synesthesia
⛓️
General Rules:
- Hateful replies will be deleted & blocked
- Hateful asks, anon or otherwise, will be deleted & blocked. This doesn’t include poorly worded questions attempting to understand.
- Ask box is open to questions, even if you don’t think you can word it respectfully. If you’re wondering it, someone else may be too. We will decide whether to answer & what’s comfortable, so you don’t need to quiet your curiosity. (We may do ask games if requested later on.)
- This is a personal blog. None of this is to be taken as professional advice, & we can’t diagnose people. That said, if you think you might have something we have, it’s okay to ask about potential coping skills for symptoms/traits you struggle with & it’s okay to ask what next steps to take if you just found out you’re plural or neurodivergent. Please note that our advice will likely include ‘please go to a medical/mental health professional if you can’ (we do understand that financial, racial, or other socioeconomic barriers might stop you).
- You can ask us for song recommendations if desired, but we won’t be responsible for feelings that music gives you if you choose to ask or listen.
- We can’t and won’t share or boost donation posts on this blog. This is a space for us to share original content & our healing journey. Please do not ask. We don’t think you deserve to suffer or struggle, but we cannot help.
- We are not responsible for misunderstandings of any of our content. We post what we feel & think. You read through your own lenses, & may miss pieces or interpret unintended meanings.
- Not everything that traumatized us will traumatize others. PTSD forms due to surrounding circumstances as well. Many of our “small”/“inconsequential” traumas became PTSD because we did not have community, support, love, appropriate attention, etc. afterwards. In some cases we were outright gaslit, shamed, guilt tripped, invalidated, &/or minimized. No, you don’t have to be traumatized by the same things. We won’t accept invalidation here either.
⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️
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