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talesofanautisticwoman · 1 month

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Group work in university

Sooo we are having an exam prerequisite???? (Idk what its called, or if its the correct word for it) which is in groups... and everybody from my class seems to have made groups. We just got the assignment presented and quickly people made groups.. well besides me. And the assignment HAS to be turned in in groups.. I was like "well shit i'm fucked".

- The people in my class suck anyway.

I just wish I could make it alone or at least that it was an option. I might end up with somebody who is also in my study group, who is NEVER (and i dont really know her like at all) present. Besides for when we have duty to attend. It gets kinda hard to work with.

Group work in university SUCKS. I just hate being the leftover nobody wants to work with and not knowing how to socialize. Such a bad combo.

I tried to socialize a lot in 1st semester. However the groups were pretty much already formed after a few months. It drained me.

However I dont want to give up. I want to complete my uni education, as it is one of my special interests. Its just the social stuff thats draining and demotivating.

#university sucks #group assignments #everything fucking sucks #autism spectrum disorder #autistic #autism #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #actually autistic #autistic community #asd

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talesofanautisticwoman · 1 month

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Same, my mind always imagine someone looking over my shoulder while judging, laughing etc. over my interests... and thinking im childish for liking these things.

#autistic #autism #asd life

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talesofanautisticwoman · 2 months

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Hi sorry i have been M.I.A for the past half a year, but my studies and everything in between is very tiring. Im currently in 2. semester in my mayor 'nutrition and health'' (Ernæring og sundhed), i just started about a month ago. I passed both of my exams with the grade 02, - which is the grade E. I must say i have kind of given up on most social interaction.. as it is vey hard. However i have some people i talk to sometimes, who are very kind. I have a feeling/assumption that most people think i'm kinda weird and abnormal. Sometimes when i try to talk to them or say something they become quiet and/or give their friends 'the look'.. if you know what im talking about. I just kinda suck at communicating and interacting with people. I do have friends tho, however they are not from my class tho or the other classes. They are all doing something different. I think its better for my mental health to focus on these people, rather than to focus on those in my class. ---- i will try to update more than i do now.

#autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd #university #college #college life #autistic adult #autistic things #autistic student #autism college

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talesofanautisticwoman · 4 months

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Who else is celebrating new years alone?

Are there any other fellow autistics who are celebrating new years eve alone? I am this year,, it will be a bit lonely i think. However i already kind of know, how the night will turn out if i go with my parents to some of their friends to celebrate. It will be kinda boring. I also think new years eve is the most stressfull day of the year (for me)

#new years eve #autism spectrum disorder #loud sounds #autisim #asd community #asd life #asd feels #asd problems #autistic adult #autistic spectrum #autistic things #actually autistic #autistic community #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent

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talesofanautisticwoman · 5 months

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Autism in university

So i'm just halfway in 1st semester in university and it's quite though. I'm studing health and nutrition, which is quite interesting. So reflecting on a few things which have happen in over the first two months.

I have already blurted out i'm autistic and i felt like i scared people away. A handfull from my class already know. Looking back i wish i just kept my mouth shut.

Masking is really exhausting and when i come home i just lay in bed for hours. I barely have the energy to study.

The social font is whack! utter whack. I can't connect with my classmates at all. I have participated in a good handful of social events, because i do want to get to know them. It's hard because they have different interests than me. Very different interests. It's totally okay they have different interests than me. However it makes it hard for me to connect with them.

My diagnosis that up a lot of space in my mind. I have become more aware of my diagnosis when i'm with non-autistic people.

Don't get me wrong my classmates are nice people.. it's just me who doesn't know how to socialise.

#university #college #college life #autistic student #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #asd #autistic community #actually autism #autistic experience #autistic experiences #student

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talesofanautisticwoman · 6 months

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sometimes i'm jealous of fictional autistic characters. where tf are MY ultra mega smart sci-fi headspace autism superpowers?

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talesofanautisticwoman · 7 months

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My autistic ass every morning i wake up

"Time to Challenge social norms and be an awkward mess"

#i hate myself #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #autistic community #actually autism #asd

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talesofanautisticwoman · 7 months

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I always feel like i don't belong anywhere when it comes to big social groups. I have a really hard time starting conversations and keeping them going (plus keeping them interesting).

- i always end up being the one without someone to talk to. And it makes me very depressed not gonna Lie. I often end up blaming myself bc of it and Even hating myself. Sometimes I just leave bc I feel sadder by the minute being with these people.

I'm afraid I wont be getting Any friends in my new university (I attend university in Denmark). I just don't know how to connect with people.

#i hate myself #autistic spectrum #autistic #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd #asd problem #autism #i wish it would stop

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talesofanautisticwoman · 8 months

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I wish i could attend a party without having a mental breakdown or cry. The sensory overload is way too much.

#parties #autisim #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd

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talesofanautisticwoman · 9 months

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Being neurodivergent and messaging (my perspective. Please feel free to add your own in comments/reblogs)

1. Anxiety (GAD)

2. Studying what people like so I have a conversation starter

3. Not being able to start/continue conversations (hi how are you? Good, you? Good…)

4. Always starting the conversations.

5. Feeling like no one actually wants to talk to me or cares.

6. Talking about myself most of the time because there’s only so much small talk that can be done.

7. OR never talking about myself in case I’m boring/annoying and only asking the other person stuff.

8. Being ghosted (HURTS a lot, cause of RSD)

9. Or accidentally ghosting others and realising too much time has passed so now it would be embarrassing.

10. Trying hard to keep in touch and realising that the other person is uninterested.

11. Missing social cues EVEN when people aren’t there/face to face/irl.

12. Feeling like a failure

13. Realising that if you don’t message people, literally no one would message you at all.

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talesofanautisticwoman · 9 months

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I really dislike how my body reacts when i get sensory overloaded or start to shut down. The way I react to is;

I get really tired and feel very sleepy.

My head starts to feel really heavy.

I can't concentrate on anything around me. I'm more likely make mistakes in what i'm currently doing. Kind of like loosing my skills.

I get sensory overloaded really easily.

I'm more likely to snap, yell and get angry with people around me.. even if i don't mean to.

I can feel my body heating up and i start to feel clammy (esp. when i'm driving)

..... and probably more which i haven't caught up on yet. My best way to cope with it, is getting away from the situation. However that's not always an option, so i always have my noise cancelling headphones with me.

How does your body react to becoming sensory overloaded?

#autistic shut down #shut down #sensory overload #sensory issues #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd

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talesofanautisticwoman · 10 months

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allistic acting like they know-it-all......

I HATE!!! when allistic/neurotypical people acts like know-it-all about my autism diagnosis and belittles my experiences... and come up with their own "cause", as to why i might be feeling a certain way. And when you tell them off and say 'no it's like this or because of that. It because of ....' they tend to get angry. Sometimes i feel like they try to remove me from my autism diagnosis, like they are two seperate things.

This happen to me today. I opened up on how my autism diagnosis presented? itself at work. My dad tried to say "it might be that way, because those who has been there many years will have more experience". And when my brother started asking about our conversation my dad said "Julie, is worring about how she's acting autistic at work".. and he said it an annoying and kinda lika like a mocking way. I started the job quite recently, like less than a month (i'm an intern). My dad has an outsiders perspective of it, yet he thinks he is right. I notice things like mannerisms, ways of communicating, fatigue etc. I mask quite a lot at work, and try not to let anything autism related slip up. Because they might view me differently if i do so. - Out of my both my of my parents, my dad is def the one who is the least understanding and dismissive about it. I know it's though being a parent, whose child gets diagnosed. It hit's them hard too ya know.

#can allistics please stop.. i'm getting tired #know it all #autistic spectrum #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd #high functioning autism #autistic things #autistic adult #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity

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talesofanautisticwoman · 10 months

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When i meet someone new, i always automatically assume they hate me... mainly because of my autism spectrum discorder. Even if i haven't told them about it, my brain assumes they know because i'm so awkward, nervous and very fidgety around other people. - And i know it's just my brain who is playing tricks with me.. and not reality! Yet i keep thinking about it. Sometimes it makes me feel insecure. I hate how hard it is to establish and maintaining friendships.. i wish it was easier. It's also very hard for me determine and distinguish when somebody is just an acquaintance or a friend. So i always end up being really closed off or i end up just infodumping. Do you have a similar experience?

#i wish making friends while on the spectrum was easier #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #asd #autistic community #actually autism #autistic experiences #actually autistic #autistic experience

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talesofanautisticwoman · 10 months

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Whats the deal with neurotypicals comparing autistic teens/adults to some of their relatives 5 yr old autistic kid? Almost every time i tell someone i'm autistic, i always get compared to an autistic kid and tell me "how i'm not like them". - I personally feel like they are indirectly calling me "childish" in one way or another. However i don't expect them to know much about autism and autistic people in general.

#autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd #autism spectrum disorder

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talesofanautisticwoman · 10 months

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I strongly relate to the loss of skills and ability to do tasks. I feel like it becomes more difficult to do tasks, and I always do them poorly if im burnt out. I can't function as a regular human being tbh. I always do my tasks at a much slower rate or not at all.

Source ~ (Unknown. Please let me know if anyone can find the original)

[Image ID: Comparison list, comparing Allistic Burnout vs Autistic Burnout.

Lilac background with Black text highlighted in pale green in the allistic list, and dark purple for autistic.

Allistic Burnout:

Tired or drained most of the time

Feeling helpless, trapped or defeated

Self-doubt

Feeling overwhelmed

Insomnia

Feeling cynical

Considered to be an 'occupational phenomena

Autistic Burnout:

Chronic exhaustion & constant fatigue

Loss of skills and loss of ability to do tasks

More difficulty communicating

Increased severity and number of meltdowns

Directly related to masking

Caused by a mismatch between Autistic needs & the world's expectations

End ID]

Note: I don't agree that burnout is only directly linked to masking, as it can also come from constant sensory input, routine changes etc even for non-masking Autistics.

#actuallyautistic #reblog #autisme #autistic burnout

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talesofanautisticwoman · 10 months

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Sometimes i can't help but wonder, how it would be like if i was neurotypical. How would i be different comparing to how i am now and how would my life be different? Since autism is a huge part of me and impacts my everyday life.... i just wonder sometimes. I actually think about this a lot.

Like would i have more friends?

Will bonding with other people be easier? And would i get more along with my peers?

Would i be less akward?

Wondering how my personality will differ (if it does?)

These are some of the things i have been thinking about.. wondering how my life would have turned out differently.

#how would i be different #just thinkin #autistic spectrum #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autistic experience #actually autism #autistic community #asd #autistic things #autistic problems

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talesofanautisticwoman · 10 months

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Autism in media

Sooooo i have been watching a couple of dramas recently, and have heard about a lot about dramas who potrays autistic characters (mostly k-drama or thai dramas). One thing i always wonder is why we are potrayed as highly intelligent (often with savant syndrome) or "like children". It actually frustruate me quite a bit.. because i feel like theres no middle ground. It's either one or the other.

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