#~complicated feelings~ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transrikuu · 2 years

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things in the 358/2 days manga that. aaaaaa

#thanks Shiro Amano for pointing out parallels I never noticed. and breaking my heart. aaaaaa #like I’ve said before. having xion and riku be my two favourite characters from kh SUCKS #because yeah sure. they have a lot of interaction. but most of that interaction is riku trying to kill xion #whether it’s directly or indirectly #not saying that he wants to kill xion but. you know. anything to save sora. that’s the mentality he’s in due to his guilt and #~complicated feelings~#also I like how the manga really shows Xion’s connection to Sora throughout the whole thing #i feel like a lot of people treat her as just a kairi clone even though she clearly isn’t….. :(#anyways I love xion so so much #kaeya speaks

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satanicdollx · 6 months

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they should invent friends that do not live so fucking far

#I'm less sad today but still sad #we're not even that far even from a European point of view like 400kms is okay-ish 🥹#it's just complicated in terms of public transportation and it's expensive #anyway gonna play DAO (bc BG3 is still bugged) and chill all day feel free to invade my asks #nyx.txt

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aueua · 8 months

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people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

#[.txt]#just. a bit curious #e: I see... thank you for the answers so far; it's interesting to hear as someone who's an only child #i suppose i should have phrased this as: if you have them - how do you feel about your siblings?#i am aware most answers can be boiled down to being complicated; even so it has been nice to hear from everyone of different circumstances #i hope that your day is well.

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inkskinned · 10 months

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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

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chloesimaginationthings · 1 month

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Abby and the FNAF puppet would get along..

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 1 month

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Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

#self diagnosis #why it’s valid #I find it perfectly acceptable with doing the correct research #the diagnosis process can be complicated and sometimes not a very pleasant experience #i honestly think I had ADHD too but I have no idea if I am #actually autistic #self diagnosed adhd #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Neurodiverse Journeys (Facebook)#autism awareness month #autism acceptence month

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notbecauseofvictories · 18 days

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I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"

Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.

............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.

#I finished guards guards just yesterday and I forgot that vimes and wonse were set up to be mirror images #both boys from the shades of very different natures; who made good (ish) in wildly different ways #also it's interesting reading this books from an adult perspective; my mind isn't blown that these books exist #anymore; plus I've read so many good books since #and they're not perfectly constructed novels! especially these early books;#there are plenty of spots where I can feel the narrative get thin; where there's more handwaving than I remember #but each book IS better and tighter; the jokes are funnier and the irony sharpens; the footnotes are better utilized #the characters are getting more interesting and complicated as opposed to set-ups for jokes.#it's an illustration of someone getting better at their chosen field and that in itself is more impressive than I was anticipating.#discworld

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sunfoxfic · 6 months

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We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

#i hate hate HATE nicotine after watching my parents smoke when i grew up #its gross and bad for your money and bad for your health #and i get it. theres SO MANY socioeconomic factors that make it a complicated issue.#you CANT blame smokers.#but it feels like people are just accepting the institution for what it is bc now it tastes good #bitch just chew gum jfc #it doesn't matter if its an industry issue. we have seen in the past that making it “uncool” hurts the industry #make nicotine uncool again PLEASE #grumbles

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isjasz · 5 months

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☀️⭐🌙👁️👑

This is the way you are supposed to play this game.

#dddaily4sherin #day 172!!#grian #smajor1995 #pearlescentmoon #itlwart #goodtimeswithscar #trafficblr #traffic smp #secret life #secret life smp #secret life spoilers #life series #my art #cw blood #i had so many thoughts about this but itll be too complicated to explain it #so ill let u guys analyze it and take it how u want💥💥💥💥#(maybe ill change my mind and ramble about it later maybeeeeee idk BHASDAHW)#explodes. cant believe we can draw scar with all the winners now it still feels like a fucking hallucination

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evil-sometimes · 4 months

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i love gorgug as the car owner friend. slightly grimacing like oooh no dont scratch the paint, cmon guys my parents gave me this car i dont wanna dent it. no don't let ur blood demon pet sit there hes gonna stain the seats.

#it feel like a very teen sentimentality amongst the action which is part of what i like about fantasy high and the seven #and i think this season is gonna continue to show that contrast #but more complicated thoughts for tmrw #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #gorgug thistlespring

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bigfatbreak · 5 months

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Just curious: for that Viceroy AU, is there a possibility of Mayura making an appearance?

(part one.)

#in which adrien has three major revelations #dad villain au #my art #i didn't give mayura too complicated a design #bc i feel like emelie would be the type to prefer simple nightgown vibes while she constructs a Child for fun

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completelyalien · 3 months

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I had the idea of the brothers sharing their music tastes with each other. Then it turned into this.

In case you can’t read my handwriting the songs are:

-“Black Bear Road” by C.W. McCall

-“Lay All Your Love On Me” by ABBA

-“Candy Paint” by Post Malone

-“Numb” by Linkin Park

-“Hurt” by Johnny Cash

(Also to be clear, Floyd is happy that Branch has similar tastes in music, not that he’s sad.)

(Also also, I think John Dory would have a complicated history with country music since I love the idea of JD and Delta Dawn being exs lol)

(Also also also Poppy gave Branch the boom box, that’s why is has some stickers on it)

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voltaical-art · 3 months

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im in agony. a little self indulgent but I think wyll deserves to be told he's loved and have a small breakdown about it

#bg3 #wyll ravengard #tav #wyll x tav #baldur's gate 3 #voltaical ocs #bishop #finally downloaded one (1) font bc i had too much dialog for this #i dont even hate ulder taht much i just thing wyll should talk about ANY complicated feelings he has about him.#also the way wyll always seems to be quoting him like pls what are YOUR THOUGHTS not some cryptic thing your father told you 10 years ago #and rlly if you take the way wyll describes the situation as hard truth #ALL the justification Ulder had for banishing his son #are conclusions WYLL has come to on his OWN since ulder only said ‘one word to him’#LIKE his relationship with his father could have been SO interesting but wyll isn’t allowed to have ANY introspection at all #so he just apologizes and wyll continues to try and please him

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inkskinned · 2 months

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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

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chloesimaginationthings · 3 months

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So why is Vanny so determined to get on Michael's good side?

It’s mostly because every one on one interactions they’ve had so far has been negative pff

#ask reply #there’s more to it too #I think Vanny in some part feels bad for Michael #She knows him and his family through video games and whatever Glitchtrap put in her head #so in a sense she has a need to make it up to him #She’s just really bad at it BAHA #which isn’t entirely her fault #I consider them almost a boss and worker dynamic #one day Vanny will have a good interaction with Michael 🙏🏾#how does Michael feel about Vanny?#it’s complicated but he’s like a tired older brother

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nat-20s · 4 months

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I am not one to need realism in my silly space show but I WILL say I fucking adore how much Donna Noble feels like a real person. Like omg I know her we worked a shitty office job together where we shit talked a manager together!!! She's my friend she's my neighbor she's my coworker crush I KNOW her!!!!

#doctor who #donna noble #im not saying that there aren't multiple companions that feel like REAL HUMAN PEOPLE but donna's the one i personally feel like I have met #like she's so fucking real to me #she's the exact kind of complicated that feels so so so human

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