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dereksmcgrath · 2 years

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The last year has sucked. One small moment in Spy x Family, unintentionally, reminds me to appreciate what I have to offer as an educator and a scholar.

I really don’t want to use this space for only pointing out what has been less than ideal the past year. Since August 2021:

One work contract ended without being renewed.

I interviewed for jobs but could not find one that was a right fit (especially during this ongoing pandemic, where health concerns make remote working far safer than what was expected in some places where I interviewed).

And speaking of that pandemic, schools are failing to do better at ventilating buildings, masking up staff and students, and increasing vaccination rates–not all work that they have authority to do, but all responsibilities that have been given to them because someone else (usually in the governor’s office or the White House) won’t take the lead.

My dad passed away, requiring I take time away from writing and additional job applications until I could situate myself back closer to where my mom was living.

And teaching, especially here in Florida, has been difficult when it should not be–because some tinpot fascist in the governor’s mansion is following the example of his fellow Republican bigots, demonizing anyone who isn’t a white cishet man with lies about Critical Race Theory, LGBTQ+ people, and books on library shelves.

All of that is bad enough–and far harder for people other than me, especially the damage being done to students who are not getting the education they deserve, and to people who rely on academic groups to step in and support improvements that we are not getting in education, including COVID protections, anti-bigotry teaching, and better pay and more flexible hours and remote options.

But this is still personal for me, because of how much I have tied my self-esteem to what I can do.

I don’t like being existential–and I’m butchering what that word means. What I mean is, for so much of how I value myself, I base it on what I can do. I feel like I’m having to talk to myself to psych myself up, to tell myself that I matter because I can say:

“I teach!”

So what happens when I’m in a semester where I’m not teaching?

“I help other academics successfully gain workplace experience, professional development, and funding opportunities!”

And when that work contract concludes without renewal, what do I do then?

“...I…write?”

Okay, what have you written that has made any dent in helping people appreciate art? And what value is there to that, when the demands in schools are for the basics of writing, rhetoric, and communication–all vital, and all lessons I love to teach–but people don’t seem to get to enjoy art right now when, again, that pandemic, and, again, that bigotry, and, again, that censorship pulling such art off of shelves and out of classrooms? And why isn’t it published, and even if you did publish it, what help will it offer to anyone else?

It’s not all as bad as I’m making it sound. Some of these thoughts I think are fair questions to ask to keep getting better–”what am I accomplishing, how does it help me, and how does it help someone else?”--and some of these aren’t questions, they are just about being overly critical.

In my own ways, I’m still trying to do all of those activities I list above–teach, professional development support, and writing.

For example, I have taken what I have learned from teaching (and numerous conference presentations) to do a weekly livestream on the manga I’m reading every Sunday morning. I also use that livestream to discuss the political setbacks that teachers are facing, point viewers to opportunities to improve their job applications, and promote any job openings I’m seeing. And I get to take what I have talked about in that livestream and use it as inspiration to write more–if not for any audience, then for a future record that I maybe will resonate with some future audience.

Despite all of this to keep busy (and, I hope, get a few bucks to support myself in between teaching positions), the other challenge is not just the past year, but the last decade of having worked through some toxic encounters and depressing circumstances. While I enjoyed where I had worked previously, not everything was perfect–whether because the job wasn’t the right fit for me, or wasn’t allowing for room for expansion, or wasn’t making full use of my skills, or, and here is where things get way too negative, had a toxic atmosphere, exploitative workplace practices (God, "do the work of two people" and "do more with less" might as well have been posters that previous institutions put on the walls of my office), lies and gaslighting, abusive supervisors and colleagues, and pay far below what was fair for the work being done and the hours worked, especially situations in which it was not clearly communicated that money I thought was coming for work already started was not paid.

All of this is to say, at least in academia, finding work that satisfies all criteria is nearly impossible–possible, but the stars have to align just right to make it happen. You may work with great people, but the pay is not sustainable to support yourself. You may love what you’re doing, but the state you’re living in is a fascist wonderland of bigotry, denied social services, and lacking intellectual stimulation. You may love the flexibility of hours and getting to work remotely, but it doesn’t offer enough hours and, again, pay.

The last year has been primarily downs, with almost zero ups. I’m really trying not to be unappreciative: I’ve had three COVID vaccinations, I have not tested positive for COVID, I’m trying to make more time with family and friends, I’m trying to develop skills that I think have atrophied without practice…and I’m still here. But when you’re between teaching positions, it’s hard to still appreciate all that you can still offer to a new class and a new school, even to a new career. If you’re not getting to do the work you really enjoy, and use the skills you know you have and that can keep getting better with more practice, that fuels depression. When you struggle with tailoring another application to another position, when you remember previous work experiences that emphasized only your flaws and what you were not doing correctly rather than your strengths and how much help you provided and how you helped clients, students, and colleagues succeed, it is demoralizing.

What has helped me the last year (beyond family, friends, and having some days where I really get to help someone else or learn something new or improve at a skill) has been, not resting on my laurels exactly (and I’ll address that in more depth in a moment), but reviewing my previous writing, editing it for future publishing, revising previous course materials (such as syllabi, lesson plans, and essay prompts) and revising job application materials--and getting back into any public speaking, including those livestreams.

I did say in the previous paragraph that I didn’t want to rest on my laurels–but, and this is hard for me to talk about, there are people who really do need to say, “Here’s what I did, here’s how those accomplishments helped other people, here’s how I can translate those accomplishments into skills that would help your organization, I’m awesome, hire me.” I had to hear someone, in a writing advice group, say that their biggest struggle was knowing what to do with so much talent that they had–and I thought that was so pretentious to say…but they aren’t wrong. Yeah, you need to judge your audience to know how far you can take that, but it’s valuable, especially for people who are coerced into second-guessing themselves and expected to be meek, humble, and pliant–basically, having to act as the good quiet person so not to get looked at as arrogant, angry, and disruptive.

And all of that is impossibly difficult when you have institutions still run by mostly old cishet white men who expect everyone else to be nice and inoffensive and not rock the boat, and not to speak up about what they do well or else they are going to look arrogant. I can’t speak enough to this: I’m one of those cishet white men, I have privilege, it is far more difficult for someone whose progress is hindered by prejudices, personal and institutional, applied against them.

This is rambling, but it’s been on my mind when thinking, of all things, about Tatsuya Endo’s manga Spy x Family, and that image from Chapter 1 at the top of the post: “I’m a good value!” The context so does not work for what I’m writing: Anya is scared her adoptive father is going to send her back to the orphanage, so she is saying anything she can, reducing herself down to what she hears on TV, this admittedly capitalistic notion that your selfhood can be quantified as value. I wish I could say that you are more than your value–and you are–but that is not the context of this discussion: thanks to the system we work in, you face evaluation all the time for what you give to someone else.

The advice I hear when applying for jobs and interviewing is that it’s not just about listing what skills you have, what accomplishments you’ve mad–it’s also, on the one hand, showing them that you know what you are going to be able to do for them, and, on the other hand, showing them that you know that you are going to get something out of working for them beyond just a paycheck and a job title. If you are applying for a job at a certain department at a certain university, you’re having to show them how your experiences make you uniquely qualified for that position, and that your skills can allow you to set up a new project that they don’t already have but could accomplish with the resources they already have. And it’s to show them that you know, with those resources (and not having to re-allocate money from elsewhere to get more resources–even better if it can use resources and professors from other departments), that you get to set up something (a new degree program or a new certificate, for example) that will become really popular and attract new students, funding opportunities, awards, and attention. And that requires more than your past accomplishments and quantifiable skills: it requires a lot of creativity and imagination, and that is far harder to quantify as some value or worth.

Years ago, one of my classmates in grad school said the problem we face in getting through our classes and finishing our dissertations is this: “They expect us to be brilliant on command.” Each semester, you need a seminar paper that isn’t just good but A-level good. (If you get anything below an A on your seminar paper and your grade in a grad school class, you and your peers and your teachers are going to act like there is a problem.) You feel this pressure that each chapter you write, and each talk you give, had better include some new bit of information or new insight that no one in that room had ever considered. You are exhausted, trying to learn how to be a teacher while also taking your own classes, wages are insufficient and rent is too high (and, if you are working a second job, you’re scared the department will find out you are breaking a rule, not devoting 110 percent to your teaching, and fire you and take back the tuition waiver)--and on top of all of that, you’re expected to get your hours of sleep, eat well, stay active, and have a brain chock full of ideas and the skills to not only communicate them but do it eloquently, all while finishing your degree on time. And if you don’t go all of those correctly, and if you take the time you need to take to finish the dissertation at a pace you want, to a level of quality you want, you walk away feeling worthless. You feel like you have no insights in your head, and a failure to imagine something more.

I envy those people I know who are able to not just be so smart at memorizing details and connecting them to larger conclusions but who are so creative that they can see something that almost no one else does, being the first to seemingly discover something. I wish I had more of that creativity; I wish I had more imagination. I’m trying to pursue activities that speak to that. I did earn a degree as an undergrad in liberal arts so that I could see how interdisciplinary studies inspire new ideas and new opportunities for students to learn and teachers to teach. But sometimes, just getting to set aside a job application, re-read Spy x Family, see a panel, and think, “Oh, this moment speaks to me in an unintended way,” is a bit of peace so I can stop re-hashing over and over again why I don’t feel like I’m doing good enough in my career, and instead take a different path towards finding an answer that says, “Well, you’re valuable enough to find something poignant for yourself just reading a girl comically mis-reading a situation and shouting ‘I’m a good value!’”

Thanks for reading through to the end! If you like this post, please leave a comment to let me know that you read it. Or, let me know how to improve this kind of a post, as well as any comments you have on the topic. For example, what’s something that’s happened to you the past year that had you consider the idea of “your worth”? Was it a bad experience? Or did you come out of it reaffirming yourself? I’d be interested in knowing–feel free to leave a comment.

And if you like what you read, please share this post–and consider offering a Ko-Fi tip. All tips are appreciated, as they help keep me online and surviving in-between teaching. Thank you for your consideration!

#spy x family #academia #job market #professional development

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queerlyhalloween · 3 years

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Not to sound like the joker™️ but i hate western society. I know that hair and clothes aren't gendered, so do most of my mates, ive been working hard at unlearning the internalized transphobia that's just a part of being trans in the UK and actually ALLOWING myself to think about going on hormones and dressing in ways other than "ambigious as possible" despite the fact im non-binary

i grew myself a little mullet because ive not been working in the pub and wanted solid snake hair, ive allowed myself to look at my face and the long hair around it and not despair because i know that longer hair doesn't make me a woman, but the moment you go into a shop, or get takeaway or pass by people in the street its all "move out the way of this lady!" and "thank you, ma'am"

i dont want the gender option of 'other' on my ID i want to know 1 good reason why gender should be listed on an ID in the 1st place

ive just come back from the range and i had my hair up like some e-thot fuckboy, i had to go BACK to the range because they got my click and collect order wrong so ive got two members of staff looking over my order, im dressed in black jeans and a black masc-looking ripped shirt, mask covering half my face and as the manager's showing the kid who served me the receipt they go "oh I served that guy earlier" and the manager corrects them "its a lady". I say "im niether" and they both just stare at me like im a toddler. Im already panicking because the air feels the same way it did when some cunt came after me in the pub toliets. "dont worry about it :)" i say, they both turn back to the tills and completely ignore me.

Anyway, micro-aggressions, ive experienced a lot of them for many reasons over the course of my life and today ive decided to snap.

Not at the people in the range like, just in general.

I will never pass. That's just an element of trans euphoria i will never get to experience. Not right off the bat, anyway. Not where i live, and most likely not in my lifetime. Maybe for kids in LA or Brighton, and hey power to you guys man im happy for you, but people assume or guess m/f when they look at me and they will never get it right.

So when i see people on this site try and twitter etc rank "who's the most oppressed"™️ like a godamn smash bros tier list it blows my mind because of all the things you could spend your days doing thats what youre expending energy on?!

You could be the exact same age, race, sex, gender, sexuality, you could have the exact same disabilities, mental health conditions and money in your bank as another person on this site and you'd still never understand what they've been through. Our experiences, our families, our morals and lives are always gonna be different and the moment you try to write definitive rules on whose got it worse you've already lost and you're already wrong. Oppressed classes are not a fucking hivemind and pretending they are is only going to cause you more problems. I get the strong sense that some of you looked at the word intersectionality, went "ah yeah, i know what that means" having never read up on the matter, then proceeded to play the pain olympics.

And its creating a culture where kids feel the need to spills their souls online to justify living their lives!

You've not listed your disabilites in your bio so you're able-bodied. You're Irish but haven't listed your race so you're white. You're cis man so you've never played with gender and suffered as a result. You're asexual so clearly you're a cringeworthy baby who's never experienced a wrong-doing in their life.

The reverse is true too, if you list every aspect of yourself then you're automatically honest. The more opressed you are the less likely you are of causing harm to others. Psht, don't have a carrd in this day and age? What are you, a fraud? cishet white man playing make believe? Post a selfie or face the wrath of ozymandaus. What's privacy? It takes me 3 minutes to read the bio on this discourse side-blog so clearly they're an angel.

my mam abused me for years, she did the same to my brother when i left home at 18 and my dad drank himself to death. My nan, his mother, never believed me because my mam's a disabled woman with a lot of trauma, and at 14 how do you explain to the woman who takes you to the beach that it's WORSE because as she's beckoning you to the side of her bed so she can scream point blank in your face, or hit you, you're never truely sure, you're thinking about running away because of course she physically can't chase you but she can throw. And then where would you go if you did buggar off?

"You have to sleep sometimes" she used to say to me when I'd piss her off. Other days she told me horror stories about kids in care, and disabled people having their kids taken away, made me promise that I'd always love her and always be her baby, and I'd do that for her because she's my mam, she'd be satisfied then ignore me for a while. I grew up thinking that was entirely normal until i'd tell funny family stories at school and nobody would laugh. The closest I got to truely running away was when I changed my name and pronouns and her rejection, turned to vitriol one night and I so, so, nearly held a knife to my throat and simply fell forwards in the uni showers. Obviously I didn't do that.

But she's had a shitter life than me thus far so she's in the right, as the online black/white dichotomy states. I keep her at arm's length but I'm unable to cut her away without losing the rest of my family because I dared defy the role of eldest child and care for her as I've done my whole life, as is expected.

we need to take things on a case by case basis, and learn when stuff is none of our business.

"Hey! :) I see you've reclaimed (X) slur, without submitting the proper paperwork. Real quick tell me every trauma you've ever experienced or I'll write a callout post :) delete this anonymous message (as is your right) and i'll assume you as sus ❤"

you can only call yourself a dyke if on your 13th birthday, the moon's tender rays struck you through your bedroom window and gave you your first wet dream about girls.

Great, cool. I have no interest in calling myself a dyke, i cant call myself a lesbian because it makes me dysphoric, thats why im queer, but i can assure you that when 3 kids from catholic school pinned me under the bridge and threatened to cut me open for being a "dirty dyke tramp" they didn't play 20Qs with me first to check that i was actually a lesbian.

if your first thought is "well thats just misdirected homophobia, so youre not ACTUALLY a victim" log the fuck off and consider what's wrong with you. Because all our oppressors care about is sniffing out the wrong on you and beating it out, they dont care what breed of wrong it is.

so you're going to spend your day, the enlightened adult that you are, frothing at the mouth because some 15yr old dared call themselves butch despite them being OnLY a BiSexUAl? You're gonna say that trans woman deserves to be suicidal because yes she may be trans BUT she's from the UK, so clearly she loves her horrid country and government. You're gonna say that black lad deserves racial abuse because he's trying to focus on his studies rather than go to protests. That 19yr old who's living in poverty deserves it because they work for Amazon. Texans deserve to freeze to death because there are republicans in Texas.

You're going to harass a complete stranger coming to terms with the parts of themselves society has taught them are worthless at best because they're not doing it the way YOU think is right.

This post has not ended where I started it but I really dont care:

Some of you are so fucking desperate to be the bullies you never got to be in secondary school and it shows. But you're cowards. You can't just admit you want to divide and concur so you do it in a new woke way and when your time on this earth is done, you'll have commited the same pain that's been dealt to you and wonder why you died miserable in a world thats more or less the same.

okay to reblog but dont @ me for a debate because i have, like, real problems and will just block you

#tw suicide mention #child abuse #homophobia #transphobia #ablesim #racism #*muffled screaming*#im shit at tagging sorry if i missed anything but im out i think

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jaywrites101 · 4 years

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Why You Should be Voting Democrat: The Republicans are Hypocrites Against God.

This is an essay I now have to give to a person living in this house with me. Some context, they pinned a piece of Republican propaganda they received in the mail to the community posterboard with the words “why I vote Republican” written on it. I have interpreted this as an invitation to challenge their beliefs. And my response is in the essay below.

Sincerely, By Everyone in This House

Pro-life vs Pro-Choice

This argument is a messy one to argue, this is something our country is literally divided over this and each argument is so twisted it's hard for either side to understand one another. For this to be the hill you've chosen to fight on I'm going to have to assume two things—1: you believe abortions are murder, and 2: You believe abortions are a common occurrence made by lazy people who want to get rid of the consequences of their bad actions.

Both of these are common arguments made by the Republican party to defund Planned Parenthood. So it may surprise you that not a single person on the Left is trying to disprove your fighting points.

That's because this isn't about abortions at all. It's about women's rights. Abortions only play into this because it was the item that forced the issue before the courts and the public.

In 1973, Roe v. Wade was a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in which the Court ruled that the Constitution of the United States protects a pregnant woman's liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction. This decision effectively guaranteed that a woman had the right to treat her body as her own property, meaning she could choose what she eats, who she has sex with, and, yes, whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term.

The decision ruled that the US Government has no right to decide the moral outcome of a single person's choices. Nor do they have the right to force a person to live in what they currently believe to be an ethical lifestyle.

This is the one and ONLY law in our country that explicitly gives women the same rights to life, responsibility, and authority that a man has. It also the only law that ensures a woman has the ultimate right to refuse to have sex with a man.

Republicans want to overturn Roe v. Wade and defund Planned Parenthood (not end abortions). They often cite the evils of abortions as the reasons why they want to overturn it. However, this is not their real motivation. Planned Parenthood has a multitude of other services for women and men besides abortions. They help people conceive children, provide safe-sex alternatives to reckless teens, provide both erectile stimulants and contraception, and even hormone therapy for trans people transitioning genders. They also provide pregnancy care for women just like any other hospital.

And as we've discussed Roe v. Wade is about a woman's rights to her body.

Republicans are trying to keep women from having equal rights. This much has been stated by Republicans in the 1970s and that mentality continues to today. It's blatant hypocrisy from a group of people who've only read the Bible enough to make real Christians like yourself believe they're doing God's work. And they are not shy about signaling how religious they are. God even has a Bible verse for them specifically:

“Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.” Matthew 6:2. (NKJV)

Government Spending

This one's actually a very easy argument to refute. Republicans are always talking about making tax cuts and spending less money. In truth, all the money they save goes straight into the military budget which increases by BILLIONS of dollars each year. We're currently spending $934 billion a year on our military budget. According to the last Discretionary Spending Audit under Obama, more than half of that goes back into the politicians in both the House and the Senat across both sides of the aisles. That's also why this issue is one many Democrats actively support; the military is giving them a kickback.

The tax cuts you experience is not the government saving an extra twenty cents by cutting out beef from their cafeteria and passing the savings to you. It's the Republican party throwing the US into more debt to artificially give you a tax break so you'll continue to vote for them, and force the Democrats to be the ones to have to put that back to normal so they look like the bad guys.

Long story short, if you want the government to save money, vote Democrat, pay higher taxes and demand a drastic decrease in military spending.

Fun Fact: If we succeed in cutting the military budget by one-hundredth of a percent, the excess funds would pay to empower EVERY SOCIAL SERVICE the democrats suggest (from healthcare all the way to free electricity.) for the next ten years.

Education (Really? This one's so backward you should know better without me explaining.)

Republicans have been so far on the wrong side of this debate I'm surprised I have to tell it to you. For decades they've cut school budget both in the public and private sectors. They happily cut millions of dollars a year from the federal grants that are supposed to help kids afford college, while also artificially inflating the price of school, school supplies, and class prices.

This is not some secret thing you'll have to search hard for. They brag about it on tv every other episode of Fox News.

The document you gave me lists education but provides no real proposals or examples of problems they hope to change, it is preying on your ignorance in this situation to make themselves look good. (What follows was not any part of the document they left, but are bullet points I thought they should be thinking about when they go to vote.)

Gay Rights

People who are gay, or otherwise not cishet WASPS should have the right to live a life of their own choosing without persecution or judgment from us. Jesus says everyone has that right amongst man. We're supposed to leave all that to God, so leave it for God.

Racism

I direct you to the current protests as proof that Racism is a thing that still exists, and has only gotten more unmanageable as time has moved on. Also, every Black Lives Matter protest since Martin Luther King Jr.

Socialism

Roads, parks, schools, and social security are all social programs funded by the government for the people. We on the Left wish to expand these capacities to healthcare, electricity, internet, higher education, and phone services, while also insisting that the government provide the minimum funding needed for people to live. (This in a time when the cost of living keeps rising higher due to unchecked capitalism.) We demand the government provide for the homeless, and regulate the supply chain of food. (because over 70% of all food in the garbage across this country is thrown away while it's still fresh.)

We have the ability to end starvation, and homelessness in this country. We argue this means we have the responsibility to do so as well.

Gun Reform

Democrats believe no civilian needs access to weapons of war. It's too easy to exploit these weapons and it results in mass killings of innocents. There are far better and more effective ways to defend yourself and your family than buying a bunch of guns and shooting anything that makes a noise in the night.

Police Reform

This is the current agenda. Police have gone unpunished for their crimes against civilians, (especially civilians of color,) and our current system 1: Encourages police to kill first, ask questions never, 2: Forces cops to take on roles they are untrained for, and 3: Gives them too much power without any reliable method of accountability. We demand all three of these things be addressed and changed in a meaningful way.

All of this without even mentioning Trump, the man actively trying to be a dictator.

#politics #trump #vote #fuck trump #against trump #this person is driving me insane with their political views

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eruthiawenluin · 5 years

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Probably because trans exclusionary radical feminism is an ideology and not a state of being ?? You don’t morph into a gay man just because you reblog from one. But you can accept ideas when you reblog them. Science might be a hard thing for you to grasp, but your brain stores information.

I so love getting vagued (/Sarcasm), but it’s much better than being liked or tolerated by this bunch. Obviously you think trans exclusionary radical feminism isn’t transphobic, so you can just admit you’re a terf, right??? No problem???

First of all, this shit could’ve just not picked up my post to begin with. But she’s a terf and they’re a pushy, conservative bunch. It’s sad but I’ve met a few Republican lesbians in my lifetime, and that’s what this is. Someone who’s so intent on bringing down another minority, she’s fine with damning herself and others along the way. That’s how Trump got almost as many votes as Hillary— he appealed to the hatred of EVERY group, so that even hated minorities would be pulled in by their hate of others. We all saw it happen. Trump assaulted women, but he got 53% of white women’s vote. We saw white gay men campaigning for him, and antisemitism at a Chicago women’s march (squints at OP’s name).

Also, love how she’s saying trans and nb is white and westernized (as if a couple sjw-sounding phrases are going to change the root of the argument) when the strict gender binary that’s currently enforced in westernized countries is… western. And specifically western, because not a lot of places even had these ideals of what’s attractive in women and attractive in men. Ever notice how having a lot of hair is so hated here, or girls being big? And I mean, a shitload of non-white cultures have more than 2 genders and trans people, and it’s been recorded for thousands of years. And it’s white people who have tried to erase that history. But sure, sure, it’s all white people who are trans or nb, even though it’s western cultures who historically oppress them, and then spread it everywhere else like a disease (which they spread a whole lot of, too). Real-life people are a much better sample size than whatever you’re getting! Your blog has selfies of a random trans girl who’s apparently, in your eyes, not performing femininity well enough to “count,” and you say “they all look like this.” Which is a lot to unpack, for someone who “cares” about women and sexism. And don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you have actually seen a lot of the diverse and beautiful trans people in the collective of Tumblr, and you chose one who doesn’t adhere to your idea of femininity enough because you needed easy pickings to justify your gross agenda! I get it, I do. It’s just that you literally have no positive beliefs besides women’s sexual freedom, and even then it’s not about freedom, it’s about exclusion. So it’s safe to say that although, like I said, straight skinny people are going to get the spotlight, the community is much more diverse than what you’re going to see on tv or wherever you get your ideas from. And you can’t use cishets’ idea of what a trans person should be to claim that’s what all trans people are.

Implying that I’m a non-gay policing gay folks in your response earlier is kinda funny, too. I’m not gay enough, apparently, even though I’m afab, even if I’m using they/them! The “biological males” aren’t gay enough, because to you, everyone’s self is based on what role they play in reproduction. You’re acting on the idea that hetero is the default, and you don’t even know it! I don’t like to throw the word pathetic around buuuuut. Well, when you get this swept into an ideology that it becomes your whole identity, you’re lost.

Anyways, don’t give her or any of these other terfs any attention, don’t respond, it just gives them more room to talk. I responded and I just got more of her piss on my post. Just block, vague, inform, and move on. She can have fun living in a bubble, but I’m not having any sort of conversation with her. Instead, you should look at this post and ask yourself if you’re doing any of these things, and how you can improve.

Example:

She reblogs things from radfems, you can blacklist the tag to make sure you don’t do that. Even if you don’t know it, you might be taking in their rhetoric.

You can also make sure you’re not being pulled in by anything like “Well, trans/nb people are actually oppressing X group” like she does here regarding poc, women, and lesbians. Alternatively, blaming that group for the actions of conservative Christians. (“They’re the reason conservatives think sexuality is a choice!” That kind of thing.)

Be wary of dogwhistles, such as reference to biological sex, unnecessary use of male/female (especially paired with homosexual, which they use to emphasize the sex bit), shifty opinions on what gender is, calling people homophobes without stating why that is (the “homophobe” is probably trans or anti-terf), and generally speaking on everyone’s behalf.

Watch for argumentative tactics recycled from your typical right-wingers, like rephrasing any debate into the kind of language above^, not addressing the questions and instead moving on to dismissal, dogpiling, hints at any kind of exclusionism, etc. Sometimes people don’t want to give away what they are, they just want their opinions to spread. A lot of people who are exclusionary of bi, ace, pan, and nb people end up becoming terfs.

Feel free to add on.

Just because they use leftist language doesn’t mean that what they’re advocating is leftist. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

#tw terf #tw enbyphobia #tw transmisogyny #tw transphobia #tw discourse #tw homophobia #tw sexism #tw misogyny #my stuff #not spn

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communist-cat-girl · 6 years

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Ok So

im on my shit again cause pragerU is still makin fuckin’ videos time to yell about PragerU - The Least Diverse Place In America

(0:08) They had me in the first quarter, im not gonna lie, i thought this would be some interestin social justice piece and that maybe prageru’s obvious racism and ignorance were instantly solved by this Charlie Kirk guy. I was so wrong.

(0:28) Okay because there still totally isnt racism on college campuses or anythin’??? and like a ton of misogyny??? that isnt addressed at all??? ever??? but sure dude okay, lets act like colleges are good and perfect.

(0:46) So this is just ... I mean he sounds like an idiot who did zero research already but here we go. Can’t wait to have a straight white guy tell me about queer acceptance.

(0:59) Umm no not at all, people will still forever be homophobes and transphobes and every other phobe on the block. Also who the fuck signs a consent form for sex? They’re not doing kinky shit they’re caricatures of a man and a woman kissin’. Also seriously dude? Experimenting? This isn’t the fuckin’ 80′s, we know people are gay for sure and that people know full well what the hell they’re doin’. Experimenting is the way straight people have been disenfranchisin’ actual gay feelin’s for ages and this dipshit is perpetuatin’ that while tryna’ claim that these issues are “been there, done that,” as if anythin’ is solved. Fuck you already Charlie you clearly don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on in the world.

(1:04) If I had a dime every time I heard some conservative asshole talk about this in relation to safe spaces alone I think I’d have enough money to pay for my tuition. Barely.

(1:10) Ye, that thing racists, homophobes, and straight up nazis try to say is an issue because of us nasty liberals. I know the phrase and I know you’re boutta’ spew some bullshit about the first amendment, hit me already.

(1:21) ... Have you been to a college campus ever dude? Seriously, this is an honest question. I don’t even think hes been out in the real world if he thinks conservative ideas are radical or that colleges shut down “diversity of thought.” They shutdown bullshit because bullshit questions don’t need to be asked.

If a nazi asks “Why don’t we kill all Jews?” We do not attempt to explain to them the immorality of genocide nor do we explain to them their ignorance for thinkin’ that Jewish people are somehow the issue in their lives instead of their own mediocrity. We ignore them and move on, as we should. Because they’re fuckin’ idiots.

(1:25) You mean society, right? All of society does is indoctrinate you into a specific way of thinkin’. College isn’t special in this, every single region, culture, and subculture, even on accident, will attempt to indoctrinate you to their way of thinkin’, that’s just how it works naturally. We learn and grow from new experiences and interactin’ with different people, it’s an incredibly important part of our growth. College is an incredibly diverse place where we can do that!

(1:36) I don’t know if you know what’s up politically but people on “The Right” like to defund schoolin’ and bash on our teachers for no reason. So yeah ... they’re gonna’ be more left leanin’ considerin’ who their enemy is when it comes to literally makin’ a wage high enough to pay rent and eat food.

(1:46) ‘Cause no conservative signs up ‘cause they know their antiquated ideas will be shutdown in two seconds because colleges are, often, forward thinkin’ institutions that want to include many different people as they possibly can instead of lettin’ some white middle class straight cis asshole tell other people what to do???

I’m not even overeactin’ here, every experience in college i’ve had with a white conservative man who is my superior has been hellish and degradin’, it sucks. You give assholes power and they become bigger assholes, it’s how it works dude.

(1:59) What kind of conspiracy theory bullshit are you talkin’ ‘bout. No one’s paycheck depends on victims ‘xcept ... well no one. Ever. In the history of everthin’.

(2:10) My core being is superficial to you? What the fuck dude? My pride in bein’ an Italian American, Wiccan, liberal, demisexual, polyamorous, transgender woman is important to me, it’s at the very core of who I am, not some superficial mask I put on. What I am is what I fuckin’ am and that shit that makes me a unique individual is important. Fuck you Charlie.

(2:13) What!? What the fuck!?

How is glorfyin’ who someone is at their core superficial and how is it destructive? Who hurt you Charlie? Who told you that positive feedback and kindness and love is harmful?

(2:16) The only thing destroyin’ real learnin’ is a) people bein’ willin’ly ignorant to honest to the gods facts and b) the fact that republicans are defundin’ education like a mother fucker.

(2:25) a) We’ve all learned from Shakespeare dipshit. He was a surprisin’ly forward thinkin’ man for his time period and wrote what is considered to be some of the greatest works of art in the western world. b) Who isn’t readin’ Shakespeare cause he was a white man? I still do, I enjoy his shit. I know plenty of other queer people who enjoy his shit. What are you gettin’ at here?

(2:34) N- ... no it doesn’t dude. I’m literally a queer woman on a college campus. I am accepted into a group despite my transness and ethnic background. Everyone, black, white, asian, and so forth, speak to each other with respect. Genders, while not treated equally by the old, conservative staff, all get to say what they want and are given equal value in conversations. I live in Texas, not a very liberal place, but I still experience more acceptance and confidence than I ever did with even my parents.

This is clearly bullshit right wingers pull to split apart people in the left by claimin’ that our actions somehow divide us even though, if recent protests and counter protests held by the left against the right proves anythin’, its that our differences unify us. Unlike all of you middle class cishet white asshats.

(2:42) No.

Even ignorin’ my experiences, I’ve never heard a single issue with liberals excludin’ other liberals. It’s always conservatives who either exclude or get pissy when their radical ideas get them excluded. Same with radical liberals really.

(3:03) Has it? Also does that matter? The issue is that we have a stupid amount of people in poverty and a stupid small amount of rich people who are stockpilin’ money that is ruinin’ our economy.

Look I actually like capitalism as a concept, I also like communism, and socialism, hell I even like a monarchy or a tribal system where chieftains and elders hold votes. These concepts (both the economic and ideological ones) on paper are all perfect and good and do more harm than good.

The issue is that in practice, here in America, capitalism is ruinin’ lives as we speak and is goin’ to lead to an international crisis sooner than later on both an economic and environmental level. Capitalism, as it stands, is unsustainable, and our stance needs to change.

(3:06) No? When? Can you give me an example because if you mean places like Cuba or China or North Korea or the Soviet Union those were all communist regimes that acted more like dictators than representatives of their people. Real ass communism hasn’t really been done outside of small communes. People are just too power hungry for their own good, the only difference with capitalism is that their avarice is given praise by the masses.

(3:14) Do not act like we alone made some kind’ve ever lastin’ peace. Do not act like we haven’t instigated violence in the Middle East like it’s a fuckin’ game of Hearts of Iron IV. We, as a nation, are warmongers at worst and war profiteers at best.

(3:21) Because as well all know poor people do not commit crimes because they’re poor and aren’t given a way out of their shitty economic situations no no no, they do it because they’re black and play the victim card.

And of course slavery didn’t both ruin the lives of millions of people by makin’ them and their descendants poor and underprivileged, black people are poor because they choose to be violent and lazy. Obviously.

[/Sarcasm]

(3:29) Maybe because they’re wrong when they say this shit and we don’t want old ideas that don’t work or are objectively wrong or based too highly on subjective thought.

(3:37) I think Trae Crowder said it best when talkin’ ‘bout the nazi bullshit in Charolettesville, “They’ve been losin’ battle after battle, fight after fight for 200 years in this country and these are their death rows.”

Your stupid ideas are fallin’ off, the reason you have a voice right now is because you’re gettin’ desperate and so are the old rich assholes who are afraid taxes will empty even 1% of their fuckin’ pockets who give you the money to even exist.

(3:34) And that’s what they do! And we look at what people on the right do and we all cringe because it’s stupid! We’re not all closeted entitled fuckin’ rich kids goin’ to ivy league schools on our parents dime! We know what the real world is and it’s fuckin’ tough and scary and everyone is pitted against us. We know these things. Dumb fuckin’ bitch. I’m seriously tired of this guy right now.

(3:50) ... ... Did this dude not think we know what liberal means?

(4:12) Noble goal, I wish the rest of America would adopt this kind of “Melting Pot” idea, we’d prolly have way less issues honestly.

(4:25) ??? Why are you mad that people are bein’ kind and decent ???

(4:31) Thanks for usin’ actual terms in an attempt to disenfranchise them of any real meanin’. The same shit is happenin’ with the word triggered so y’know, not really a new tactic. Also one that doesn’t work on changin’ minds. This entire channel is an echo chamber I swear.

(4:35) Wow he’s ... stupid huh. The words mean what they mean asshole. Maybe ask one of your queer friends? You’re diverse in thought, right? Oh wait no your diversity of though doesn’t take queerness into account. Because you’re an asshole.

(4:52) ... No.

Like literally no, where do you get this idea from? Other liberals do not think like other liberals, there is infightin’ in EVERY culture, includin’ college campuses you fuckin’ dipshit.

I’m sorry I’m mostly just callin’ him a dumbass cishet white asshole middle class piece of shit but I’m really pissed off with his willful ignorance.

(4:54) No, it’s not. The two things do not compare.

(5:01) You mean what queer, black, and many other disenfranchised people have been doin’ for ages? Okay.

(5:12) No. Shit.

Video over. I want to die. I hate this dude so much.

#q slur #b slur #rose rants about bull shit #again

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princesscolumbia · 7 years

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These were obviously written by someone who doesn’t have children

Anonymous said:im genuinely happy for you that your coming out was able to help your parents and that you were accepted by them and the environment for you was a supportive one, i really am i promise theres no sarcasm here, but do try to remember that a LOT of us lgbt folk have homophobic parents who sadly dont learn from their kids being lgbt, and instead hate us, abuse us, disown us, etc. the reason people are upset is bc they feel like you're undermining that and saying the abuse is "worth it"

Anonymous said:but the point is that a parent learning a valuable lesson isn't worth their child's safety. why should an innocent young person end up risking their livelihood? the statistics of homeless queer youth prove that it's not worth the risk.

Anonymous said:gay kids are not a lesson for homophobic parents. homophobic parents abuse us, homophobic parents kick us out, homophobic parents get us killed.

Anonymous said:you have to understand that not all parents are like yours. most parents completely hate their gay/trans kids and would rather put them through conversion therapy or ignore their gayness/transness than accept their kid as they are. sometimes they would rather have a dead cishet kid than a living gay/trans kid. a gay kid having homophobic parents isnt a punishment for the parents; its a punishment for the kid.

All four of these came in nearly at once, and I suspect that they were all the same person, so I’m just going to address them all at once:

Honey, sweetie, darling child...your experience is not universal any more than mine is. When you focus on the headlines that are intentionally written to be sensationalist and rustle your jimmies, you develop the same tunnel-vision that cops do; you’re only going to see the worst in humanity.

Couple that with the above comments clearly coming from someone who isn’t responsible for preparing a child to face the big, wide world. Yes, there’s people who are such monumental cock-bites that you’d think they’re getting paid for it (my ex-wife’s family comes to mind) but the vast majority of parents are really just overgrown teenagers making shit up as they go along and wondering how their parents ever managed. They don’t know any better than the next person, and often they’re getting bad advice from well meaning people who know even less than they do, but they don’t know it’s bad advice and they don’t know the people dispensing it are the wrong people to ask in the first place.

My ex-wife is in for a world of pain when my daughter gets old enough to start dating. Why? Because our daughter is most likely gender-queer and is showing signs of being only attracted to women. She’s got friends that are boys, but has shown zero inclination towards “church approved” heterosexual attraction; meanwhile, she’s flat out told me that she likes girls. She’s a little young to make that determination for sure (heaven’s knows I didn’t really understand my own attractions until I was in my early 20′s, even if I was sexually active in my mid-teens), but I’m willing to bet with how early the women in my family start puberty that she simply has a clear idea what her orientation is already. My ex-wife drank the kool-aid that her family served about how LGBT people are all inherently evil and sinners. My ex-wife gets to have a wonderful little learning experience where she gets to grow as a person or lose her daughter.

That’s not going to be fun for either of them. Hell, it won’t be fun for me. (I’m not looking forward to being referee in that particular argument, and you know I’m going to be “blamed” for it) My daughter is going to get a chance to learn and grow from her figuring things out. My ex-wife is going to get a chance to learn and grow from our daughter figuring these things out. Neither of them gets to force the other to accept their opinion any more than you get to force my ex-wife to accept our daughter.

(Sidebar: For those who might be worried about the possibility of my daughter being sent to any sort of “conversion therapy” or some similar nonsense, there’s a clause in the divorce contract stating that I have full veto rights to any medical treatments our daughter is put through, and that includes anything like a “conversion camp” or similar. I didn’t know I’d be needing that clause for this purpose at the time, but I’m damn glad I fought for it)

Every parent of an LGBT kid has to learn, grow, and change once they find out that their child doesn’t fit into the mainstream. Most parents eventually figure it out and accept their child’s choice, if for no other reason than they know that said “child” is their own person and by the time the dust clears said person is over 18 and can do whatever the fuck they want and the parent either gets to play nice or never see that child again. This does NOT mean that ALL parents will learn that they should love their kids and grow their heart and mind, and when the parent chooses not to learn those lessons, that means they fail. They lose that connection with their child and deep down they know they screwed up. They’ll either learn and grow and get over it, or they’ll go to their grave knowing how badly they screwed up and be too stubborn to actually do anything about it.

Further, not everything a parent does that hurts the child is done to hurt the child. A well-meaning but clueless parent has just as much (if not more) to learn about their child’s orientation/gender-presentation as their child. These imperfect beings are usually doing their damndest to raise a kid, and now they are the odd-person out among their peer group, and all because of something that they have no control over. (Sound familiar?)

A good, christian, Republican father who thought he was raising three boys finds out he’s got two boys and a trans-girl is going to be so far out of his element he might as well be a pet store goldfish piloting a space shuttle. He has zero frame of reference and he’s just lost a son. He’s got to go through a learning process, he’s got to question everything he believes in, he’s got to go against the grain so hard that splinters are inevitable, he’s got to go through the grieving process, and he’s got to figure out how to love this changeling living in his son’s room. That is a LOT to go through, and it’s just as hard for him as it is for his son daughter.

Let’s take an opposite case: A...”good” (she’s trying real hard but keeps dropping the ball at the worst times through no fault of her own), atheist (as soon as she turned 18 she left her parent’s church and never looked back), Liberal single mother is told by her daughter (by a one-night stand during her brief stint in college...she’s not even sure who the father is) that her daughter is a lesbian and, by the way, her girlfriend’s parents kicked her out because their pastor said she was sinful and can she stay with them please? She now has to deal with a girl who’s legal status in the home is questionable at best, potentially abusive parents who will come over at any time to harass their daughter and the “heathen family of sinners” that “corrupted” their little girl, potential CPS investigations, and all this on top of having to completely scrap any hopes and dreams she had of her little girl finding a good man (preferably with a degree) to settle down with so her daughter doesn’t have to deal with the crap she did. Does she let them sleep in the same room? (They’re underage, after all, but since there’s no chance of pregnancy, does that matter, or is it the principal of the thing? Who the hell would she even ask about that?) How is she supposed to be there for her daughter (and possible live-in girlfriend) if she’s having to work 10 hour days 6 days a week? And let’s talk about the budget; she can barely afford two people, and now her daughter is asking to bring in a third?!

Both the parent and the child are going to do and say hateful, hurtful things. Usually, it’s without meaning to. If the parent is ACTUALLY abusive, then action gets to take place, most especially the child being removed from the abusive environment. The parent gets to have legal action taken against them, possibly including jail time for abusing a child.

tl;dr - The original post made a statement about how a kid being LGBT isn’t all about the parents. I simply made a statement that it also impacts the parents, and that is a good thing.

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