#you people better appreciate how much work this was
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Winter's King 12
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)
Characters: Geralt of Rivia
Note: have a good weekend.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
You stand, still uncertain. You look at the king as he tilts his face up to the moonlight. The silver sheen washes over him with an unearthly glow. He looks lupine, much like your dream.
“Your highness?” You echo again, hands curling around the sides of your skirt.
“Will you continue to disregard my order?” He challenges as his gold eyes meet yours. You wince at the way they shine.
“No, your highness, I am only...” you hush yourself and clamp your lips tight. You turn and search around, numbly walking along the curve of the pond.
He growls as you reach the line of hedges into the next walkway.
“You will want to go much faster than that,” he warns as you hear him stand. “I will allow you some advance...” He exhales as you glance back at him, “ten...” he stares at you, his figure shrouded in shadow from far away, “nine...”
You blanch and tumble backward through the gap. You spin and stagger on your soles, throwing your arms out as your heart pulses madly. Something about his timbre, about his words, has you alight. There is something amiss about him.
You push your legs against your skirts and hurry blindly into the nocturnal void. The moonlight seeps in around the silhouette of leaves as you keep your hands ahead of you to prevent a collision. You try to see through the dark, like silk across your eyes, making out little more than hazy orbs.
You crash into a thicket of thorns and pull away from the rosy bunch. Their scent clings onto you as you turn to the left and dive down the next path. You don’t know these gardens, not like Debray. For all you know, you’re going even deeper.
You hear a step behind you and swirl to face it. You squint, trying to see who is there. Is it the king? Do you want it to be? What does he mean to do when he catches you? What is the meaning of this game?
You plunge back into a sprint, puffing as you pump your arms. You whimper and whine as you slow, legs heavy and feet dull. Where are you going? You don’t like this. You remember a night like this before, how the cold dew of the forest crept up your legs, feet hitting the earth in quick succession, the holler of men and snort of horses behind you.
You stagger and spin back. No, you can’t run anymore. You don’t like this. You don’t like those thoughts. That last night before you were taken to Debray, before you dawned the cap of your bearing. That orphan girl running from servitude.
You walk forward, shaking as you peer back and forth. You wade through the thick grey air. You hear a twig snap and a bush rustle, each noise from a different direction. Perhaps it is a rabbit or a chipmunk. You sniffle and wring your hands.
You must find the king. You will surrender this game and ask that he takes you back to the castle. You trudge over the beaten path and hear the soft trickle ahead. It must be the pond. The silver light blooms brighter as you come upon a space in the hedges.
Suddenly, there is only air beneath your feet. You kick out as something rigid wraps around your waist and lifts you. You wriggle desperately and cry out, your eyes tinging but not overflowing. Your fear has you clawing at the hold around your middle.
“Please, please, don’t hurt me!” You plead as you flail, “please, sir, I’ll go back to the castle--” you choke as the grasp on you slackens but your feet still do not meet the ground. You quiet as you recall your present, that you are not in that forest, that you are far from Debray.
You are sat upon the bench, the silver moon gleaming down on you as it outlines the broad shadow before you. King Geralt faces you, kneeling as you tremble and hug yourself. You put your head down in shame.
“Apologies, your highness, I was lost,” you reach to rub your cheek, flicking back your tears with your lashes, “I got confused.”
“No, it is I who should apologise, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he takes your hand between his big ones, “I only meant to make some fun.” He brushes his touch up your arms and squeezes as you drop your hand to your lap, “little maid, did I hurt you?”
You shake your head, “I was only... delirious. It is too dark out here. I cannot see,” you bite down and look away, “apologies, I did act out.”
“Little maid,” he tickles along your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine, “I would not let you get lost or hurt.” He tilts his hand to cradle your face, his thumb stroking your cheekbone, “what was it you were running from in your head? Who?”
“No one,” you lie. “Just a memory.”
“Memories are not just that,” he insists, “but I understand how they can hurt. Forgive me, treasure, I wasn’t--”
“Your highness,” the sullen voice has the king recoiling. He quickly plants his foot and stands. You rise as well, toying with that word he called you. Treasure. “The queen sends for you.”
Bryce steps out into the moonlight. You look at him then the ground. How long had he been there? How much had he heard?
“The queen,” King Geralt grumbles, “what is it she wants? It is late--”
“She would not say and I would not guess,” Bryce says, “but she screams for it. Like a yowling cat.”
The king sighs and lowers his head. He squares his shoulders and resets his posture. He steps away from you and gestures to his soldier. The king twists around and marches away. Bryce falls into pace with you as you follow. He is silent, you all are.
You approach the castle, guards lurking in the shadows, and are let past the front doors by a sombre pair. Inside, you follow the king through the great hall and up the stairs. You peek over at Bryce as you proceed down the corridor. He gently squeezes your wrist, just briefly, and carries on.
“Your highness,” Bryce speaks as you hear a racket ahead of you; screeching and crashing. “Should I escort the maid back to her chambers?”
“Cursed woman,” King Geralt mutters as he slows, Queen Jazlene’s door just ahead. He pauses and looks over his shoulder, “the cost of a kingdom...”
“Your highness?” Bryce prompts once again.
You echo him and step forward, “I could calm her. Bring some wine--”
“No, she will have no more of that,” the king declares sharply. “I wed her, I put my name next to hers, so it is I shall attend to her. Sir,” he looks at Bryce, “do as you suggest, put the maid in her chambers and I will put the queen in her place.”
“Aye, your highness,” Bryce bows his head and points you back, “come, maid, the night wears on.”
You glance up at the king. His golden eyes are wrought as his gaze holds yours for only an instant. You see the hesitation bob in his throat before he turns away. You mirror him and follow Bryce back along the corridor.
As you climb to the next floor and continue down another corridor, Bryce slows. He stops as he gets to the door and faces you. He takes a breath as he looks you up and down.
“It’s treacherous here in the summer kingdom,” he says, “but that will not change on the road. Mouse, you keep yourself well.”
“Thank you, sir, I am fine.”
“Aye, you do not take my meaning but you do not take the king’s either,” he puts his hand on his belt, “his favour might do you fine in this moment, but it is dangerous. Let not others notice so they may not envy it.”
You grimace and shake your head, “what do you mean?”
“Your little games do not need an audience. It is no tournament.”
Your chest sinks and your skin speckles. Is he accusing you of something?
“I... I haven’t done anything untoward. I would not, sir--”
“You may not,” he intones, “but we are all ruled by the will of the king.”
“Sir, the king is married to Lady Jazlene--”
“And we both see how they fare,” he states bluntly. “Carry my words with you, do with them as you may, but I could not leave them unsaid.”
Your eyes gloss and your nose tingles once more. He’s mad. Truly, he can’t think you and King Geralt. A maid and her master.
“I would not,” you repeat.
He huffs and nods curtly. He turns to the door and unlatches it, “go, rest your head while you can.”
“Sir Bryce--”
“I am bid protect you by the king,” he pushes the door inward and rests his hand on the frame, “not from him.” He looks past you, as if through, “little mouse, I do hope I am wrong as well but I know better than to depend on that.”
You shudder and tug at the end of your sleeve. You slump and drag your feet through the doorway. You stop, just inside, “good night, sir.”
He grunts and pulls the door shut. Your lip trembles as your heart races, just as it did in the garden. He is wrong. He must be. You saw yourself how the king is trying, he even said it was the queen he meant to game with earlier. It was only that she was too unwell. He said it!
And he goes to the queen’s chamber that night. He is not there. He has not been disloyal. The matter is not your concern. You serve wine, you lace gowns, you braid hair. You are only the maid.
⚔️
You return to the queen’s service the next morning. The world is a bit more familiar as you help her into her gown and twine her hair into an elaborate coif. Servants pass in and out of her chambers as they prepare for the royal party’s imminent departure.
“Why can we not keep this capital?” Queen Jazlene whines, “but my husband does insist on return to his frigid homelands.”
You say nothing as you sift through the old monarch’s jewelry chest. You present to her successor each gem, brooch, and chain. She has yet to turn any away though you wonder if there would be room in her already bustling luggage. Perhaps the cart will be a touch more crowded on your ride north.
“And yet my husband did come to me,” she boasts, “I think... hmm, well, perhaps this marriage won’t be so turbulent.”
You show her a cuff and she snatches it. She puts it on her wrist, turning her arm this way and that, as she oohs and aahs. She wiggles excitedly.
“I recall this piece. One year, when I came with father to court, the queen wore this cuff. You see the emeralds. I remember she was so proud of it even though all the court knew it was only gifted to her by her husband to distract from his mistress,” she trills, “oh, how foolish. But the old queen was so boring. It is a wonder the king didn’t dispose of her, who can blame him for taking an amour?”
She sighs and looks at the mirror, “and she wasn’t half so pretty as me.”
You remain silent, continuing to sort with her endless approval. You don’t think there is a single trinket she could ever turn away. You don’t see the need for so many of the same thing. Some stones are brighter than others but why not keep the brightest and do away with the rest.
“As I was saying,” she goes on, “last night when the king came to me, he was... almost meek. That man. Can you imagine? I admit I was distraught after the day I suffered but he listened and we spoke.” She strokes her fingers as she admires her oval nails. “There are some southern lords who will come north as well, some northern to stay behind. He says it will help us acquaint the two kingdoms into one.”
She drops her hands and pushes her shoulders straight, “he is wise. I suppose I should heed him if I am to be a good queen.”
You are want to agree but to do so aloud may be taken as insult. She might have done it sooner and saved herself some trouble. Yet it isn’t your place and you haven’t the wisdom of a queen. You’re merely a servant.
“Once I give him an heir, he will have to listen to me too. Yes, I will do what mother could never. Give my husband a son,” she drags her hand to her midsection, “I think last night...” she flutters her lashes dreamily. Her suggestion makes you squirm. Her and the king’s relations are hardly your concern. “It was better,” her voice is brittle, “even if...” she peers around and clamps her lips. She narrows her dark eyes, “close the door.”
You obey. You come back to her and return to your previous task. She reaches in to pluck out a string of pearls.
“He puts me on my stomach,” she whispers, almost as if she thinks you won’t hear, but she is speaking to you. There is no one else in the room. Perhaps she is only embarrassed that she has only to the courage to tell a maid. “And he behind me so I can’t see him and... he can’t see me but... but if he could...” she toys with the pearls, “if he’d just look at me, he might like it better.”
You lift a pair of medallions earrings and she ignores them. She tosses the pearls back in the chest and stands. You back away.
“He won’t let me touch him otherwise,” she mulls as she paces. “But he is warming. It is early, isn’t it? And compared to the first night... I don’t know. It will get better. It must.”
She quiets and stands by the window. Her anxiety is palpable. It’s uncharacteristic. You’ve never seen her uncertain of anything yet you can understand it. She is soon to set off to a new life and to brave a long road. When she reaches her destination, she will be a true queen. When you get there, you’ll still be a maid.
“I’ll go to him tonight,” she says and raises her head, “yes, yes, I will go to him and try again.” She spins and smirks at her grand idea, “maid, I must find something to wear for him. Well, nothing very much,” she remarks coyly, “but I will need a robe. Yes, I saw a satin one in the queen’s closet.” She swallows and stands as straight as she can, “my closet.”
You diligently cross the chamber and search the wardrobe. You find a white satin robe stitched with gold and silver. You turn to show the queen. She giggles and claps her hands.
“Wine,” she says, “I must find some courage too.”
#geralt of rivia#dark geralt#dark!geralt#geralt of rivia x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#the witcher#series#au#medieval au#winter's king
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I really appreciate ur vocal stance about harm reduction. If u have a moment, could u perhaps link to, or talk about how harm reduction works with alcohol?
Thank you, an I hope u have a good day:)
of course! while I’m now completely sober, I wouldn’t have been able to get here without harm reduction, so it’s a very personal thing to me. that being said, to be clear I also see harm reduction as an objective good, even (especially!) if it never leads to sobriety
the thing about alcohol is that a lot of it is tightly regulated on account of it being a) legal, and b) easily accessible. so you don’t necessarily have the same safety concerns as you’d have with other drugs. it’s pretty easy to keep track of how much you’ve had, because most countries have some form of “standard drink”, which legally has to be printed on labels etc
other than that, harm reduction is fairly similar with alcohol as with other drugs. the way I was taught about it was to break harm reduction into three parts: mindset, context, and substance. before you can work on setting harm reduction goals, you need to understand the facts of when, where, and why you drink, and it can be helpful to work within those categories
mindset (how you feel)
what thoughts and feelings usually lead up to drinking?
are there thoughts and feelings that are likely to lead to a worse experience when drinking?
what are some other ways you cope with those same feelings?
harm reduction in this category usually means practicing self-awareness around this stuff. if you know you’re more likely to have a bad time if you drink while angry, you can set yourself some goals around not drinking while angry (or drinking less when angry). it also can help to set up some safety barriers so that drinking is less likely to hurt yourself or others
context (social + built environment)
where do you usually drink the most? how safe are these places?
are there people you drink more around or who encourage unsafe drinking behaviours?
what environments make you feel safest when drinking?
this is where most of the harm reduction work happens with respect to drinking. not drinking with people who encourage unsafe drinking can make a major difference. as can having an accountability partner, not drinking when alone, or otherwise planning ahead to keep you as safe as possible
substance (facts of what you’re using)
how much do you usually drink?
how much is safe for you to drink? at which point do you usually start to feel unwell?
what is the best way for you to track how much you’re drinking?
what other substances might be involved? how will they interact with alcohol? (including prescription medication!!)
this also includes knowing what overdose looks like, and having a plan for what you will do in case of overdose. being aware of what a certain amount of alcohol is likely to do to your body can also make it easier to drink safely
IN GENERAL: it’s important to be realistic with yourself. setting goals you know you can’t meet right now is a fast train to burnout, shame, and disappointment. even doing ONE thing to make yourself safer is GOOD. the safer you are the better, and whatever that looks like is good
I hope this has been helpful! feel free to ask any other questions about this either way :)
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Hi honey, I just discovered your Cooper fics today and oh my gods. They're incredible, I love the way you write him ❤️. I was wondering, if you're still taking requests that is (no pressure like), if you could do a sub! Cooper x reader? Preferably male!reader or with male genitalia, but fem is totally okay if you're not comfortable with that 😁. I just think Coop with a taller, more muscular partner is neat.
I'm thinking the reader was secretly married to Coop and Barb beforehand, but lost part of their memories after they became a ghoul and one of the best bounty hunters around, wearing a mask. And all they remember about Coop is how beautiful his eyes were (Walton Goggins has the most gorgeous eyes ever, I swear 😫) So the reader wants the head too and tags along with the gang, eventually getting closer to Cooper. During a fight, reader gets hurt and Coop comes over to help them, but reader is finally close enough to properly see his eyes and realises it's him. Coop takes off the mask, reader remembers, there's tears, kisses, and eventually super soft, subby sex.
So, really just really angsty, then fluffy when they find each other after 200 years. Reader taking care of our baby girl Coop, and him just accepting the love and being a pillow princess. Maybe a little overstim and edging if we're feeling spicy 😉.
I'm so sick for this man, it's unhealthy. Thanks again for your amazing work, love. I absolutely made my day better! (Sorry for how long this ask is 🙃).
It’s Been a Long, Long Time
Cooper Howard x Ghoul Fem Reader (angst-fluff!)
CW: pre-ghoul Cooper, established relationship, reader and Cooper were married and had a child together, character death, cursing, angst!! But don’t worry, it’s a happy ending, slight OOC Cooper, slight deviation from the TV series
AN: not me posting this at 3am before I leave for a trip for the weekend, I feel like I’ve depraved y’all! 😂 I wanted to post this to give y’all some good Cooper Content ™️ before I go on a three day hiatus for vacation! 🥺 Thank you all to the people who have submitted asks, I promise I am still working on them/towards getting to them! ❤️ In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this one! @kinatanhi I hope I did your request justice! I know it’s a little tweaked from what you sent in and forgive me, I wrote this literally an hour ago at 2am because it finally came to me what I wanted to write, but seeing as it was written at 2am, y’all please forgive me if it isn’t my best work, I tried my best lol. 😭❤️
You smiled happily as you danced with your husband in your shared, quaint little kitchen, his hands coming to rest at your waist as they always did, and your arms looped around his neck. You were thankful that the producers on set of his movie, as well as his agent, allowed him to come home early in order to celebrate your birthday with you. You stood smiling up at him as you two danced- well, more like swayed, to the slow music playing from the radio. You lay your head against his chest, smiling as your eyes set on the gorgeous flowers that were lying on the kitchen counter that he brought home just for you. You smiled up at him when you caught him staring down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his gaze. “What’s that look for, hmm?” You asked with a playful smile, making him chuckle and flash that gorgeous smile of his that you loved so much, almost as much as his eyes that you swore you could be lost in forever. “Nothin’, just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful woman on this earth” he said, making you hum appreciatively at his cute answer. “Oh stop it, you charmer you” you replied, making him scoff in fake offense, making you giggle at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know I don’t go throwin’ that ‘round willy-nilly, little lady” he assured, making you smile wider at him as you laughed. “I know, I’m a lucky woman to call you my husband” you replied sweetly, getting up on your tip toes to kiss him as you looped your arms around his neck once more.
Those were better days, days when things were so simple, times where all you had to worry about was nothing more than how long the pie was in the oven, or how your baby was doing. It was a pleasant memory, one you’d never forget as the last time you’d seen your husband since the war. That night flooded your memories each time you’d lay down to close your sunken in eyes, they were the only thing about you now that remained as human as they were back before you became a ghoul. You swore to yourself that you’d find him one day, swore that you would kill the bastards that started all this, that took your baby girl away from you before she had a chance at a good life and separated you from your husband. You prayed each and every night that he was still out there, still alive somewhere, roaming the wastelands like you were. You knew it was doubtful at best, maybe it was better if he wasn’t alive to live through the shit you have, to see the way you look, but one could only hope for the better things. You no longer looked the same way you used to back then. Your soft, nearly perfect skin was now marred and leathery, your teeth yellowed from radiation exposure, poor diet and lack of ability to actually care for them, and your nose was now missing completely from your face, a deep hole sitting where the cartilaginous appendage once did. You wondered if he would even love you still in this state, if he’d even recognize you. You couldn’t blame him if he didn’t, you weren’t that same woman anymore physically or emotionally. Anger and vengeance had a hold on your heart like a vice death grip, you were kind to those who deserved it sure, but to those who crossed you? Those who hurt you? Let’s just say there’s a reason you’re a feared bounty hunter out here in the wastelands and not in a vault somewhere.
You were walking into Filly one late morning, coming to pay a visit with Ma June to see if there was anything she needed, any bounty she may have had for you for some extra caps. Your supply of chems to keep you from going feral was running low, you were down to your last bottle in your inhaler, and in desperate need of more. As you strode into town, you pulled your bandana up over your nose, effectively covering your face below your eyes, your large hat casting a shadow on the rest. You weaved your way through the vendors as they were trying to shove goods at you and anyone who was behind or around you. As you waded though, your ears caught the sound of a deep, southern accent that sounded awfully familiar to you. “I ain’t interested unless you got RadAway” he spoke harshly to the vendor haggling him, and you had to do a double take. He sounded just like your husband. You turned in the hopes to place a body to the voice but by the time you could, he was already lost into the crowd, impossible to find amongst the sea of people now that he wasn’t speaking to anyone anymore.
You huffed to yourself, wondering if maybe you were just hearing things, or maybe you were just plain out delusional at this rate. It wouldn’t shock you, between the years of radiation exposure, radiation sickness, and everything in between, you wouldn’t be shocked to find out you’d gone mad. However you wanted ever so badly for it to have been him that was speaking. To run up to him, arms outstretched, tears down your face but a happy smile as you called his name. But you couldn’t, you couldn’t even find the man attached to the voice anymore so why make a fool and draw attention to yourself. No one took kindly to ghouls. So with a heavy heart, you pushed on, making it to the doorstep of Ma June’s shop when you heard him again. “50 caps? That’s just plain ridiculous. 30, take it or leave it” he bartered, making you turn around again, only this time you caught him. You spotted a man that was tall, around the same height as your husband, clad in a wild western style cowboy outfit. You thought it was familiar, from the hat all the way down to the boots, it reminded you of him but a lot of people out here in the wastes wore Wild West themed clothes, deeming themselves cowboys and cowgirls of the wild wastelands. You wished he would turn around, you needed to see his face, hell just his eyes would be enough to sate the curiosity that was eating away at you. You’d forever recognize those eyes, they were so unique, so him. So beneath the shade you stood, observing him from a distance to be safe. That was until Ma June saw you standing there through the window of her shop, and she had a job for you that was important so she couldn’t wait for you to be done with whatever it was your were doing before she drug you inside. “What are you standin’ around out here for? I got a job for you!” She exclaimed, grabbing you and pulling you inside right as the man turned to walk away. You groaned in frustration as your only chance at an answer was stolen from you, but little did you know that your commotion made him stop to watch curiously as you went inside. Something about that dress you were wearing looked awful familiar to him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he just kept walking.
As the next couple of days passed by, the curiosity was absolutely eating away at your mind. You wondered if you were on the brink of going feral with how your thoughts were screaming that it could have been him. You wished she would have waited until you could have gotten a better look at him than just his back and his clothes, though they felt familiar, akin to something he would have worn on the set to his movies, you just couldn’t be sure. So you continued on, traveling with a random person’s head in your bag, wrapped up in an old T-shirt that was soaked through with blood now as you were on your way back from your bounty for Ma June. It was a particularly hot day outside, one of those days where no matter how much water drank, you just couldn’t keep the heat away or the dehydration at bay. So as you sucked down the last of your water in your canteen, you did your best to stave off the coughing fit that was bubbling in the back of your throat like a horrible itch you just could never scratch. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t enough, and seeing as you hit your inhaler for the last of your supply yesterday, you were shit out of luck. Damn it, you were so close too, you felt it. You couldn’t go like this, not without finding him, not without avenging your child and going after those Vault-Tec bastards that stole her and your husband from you. “Damn it!” You choked out as you clutched your chest, your coughing fit sending you to your knees in the sand where you laid in the hopes that it would let up sometime soon and you could continue moving. This couldn’t be the end for you, it just couldn’t be. You wouldn’t let it.
As you laid there, throat burning as you were hacking up your lungs, you saw a figure walking along the horizon in the distance. You wondered if maybe this was what they spoke of when people said their loved ones come and take them away right before they pass, or maybe it was just another hallucination, all you knew is that they were coming closer and closer to you. You reached for your gun with all the strength you could offer through your coughing fit and weakened state, unsure of whether they were a raider or someone with just plain ill intention. As they drew closer, you looked up to see another ghoul stabbing before you, his cowboy hat casting a slight shade over his face but even through the tears in your vision you could see his eyes. They were gorgeous, they looked just like how you remember your husband’s looked the last time you had a chance to look into them, making you look him over but it was so hard to tell. He was a man who had succumbed to the same fate you did, leathery skin, no nose, ruined ears, but his eyes…god they were so familiar. You saw him cock his head while looking at you, investigating your features, you could tell there was something about you that he was intrigued with.
“I feel your pain there, sister” he said, that southern drawl coming out sounding just like him, and god how it made your heart ache. He bent down to see you better, taking a better look at you. “I’ll be damned if somethin’ ‘bout you ain’t familiar though” he said, making you look up at him, and in that moment as he looked into your eyes, he could have sworn it was you, his long lost wife. He held hope it his heart, but it was a cruel world out here, he couldn’t be sure. “Your eyes, they look a lot like my wife’s did” he said, and you took that as your chance to see if it was really him. “C-Coo…per…?” You rasped out the best you could, needing to know if it was really him, needing to know if he was alive or if you were just going crazy. His eyes went wide for a moment before reaching for his gun, making your heart jump in your chest with anxiety. “How do you know my name?” He asked coldly, his eyes looking angrily upon you and it made your heart wrench in your chest but beat fast all the same to know it was him. “Tell me! How do you know my name?” He said angrily, making you raise your hands up to show you weren’t dangerous, you cursed your inability to speak properly or else you’d have answered his question already. “Be..cause…we were…Mar…ried” you rasped out once more, showing him your wedding ring that he bought you that rested on your ring finger, making him soften up for just a moment. “After two hundred years… could it really be?” he asked softly to himself in disbelief, but once again, he reminded himself that this world was a cruel place where people stoop to things lower than they ever did before. To him, you could have been anyone, maybe no more than a random stranger who pick pocketed that precious ring off of his wife, a total stranger playing as his beloved to get to his weakness. He pointed his gun at you once more, making tears come to your eyes even more now, had you said something wrong? Why was he mad at you? You hadn’t left on bad terms last you remember, but then again it’s hard to remember as far back as two centuries. “How do I know, huh?” He asked aggressively, and you figured it was a valid worry, you knew how awful this world was now, you couldn’t blame him for needing the reassurance. He needed to be sure it was truly you. “How do I know it’s really you?” He asked, waiting for you to stop coughing long enough to give him an answer. “What’s…that look…for?” You asked, something you always asked him when he stared at you in awe, or when he looked at you right before you two went to bed, it was like your signature phrase. You weakly removed the bandana covering your face, trying your best to show him any bit of your features left that you could use to show him it was really you. “It’s me…Coop. Y/N…” you rasped as saliva began to well in your mouth at the sight of him, slowly losing control over yourself as time passed. He’d never dropped his gun so fast, or fell to his knees so quick in his entire life than in that moment, the only other time was the moment he found out you were pregnant with his child, dropping to his knees to kiss your belly and place his hands on it excitedly. “Oh my god…Y/N” he said in utter shock and disbelief that you were here, you were alive. You were a ghoul now which hurt him to know you suffered the same pain as him, but you were alive and that’s what mattered most to him, finally having found you after all the years spent hoping you were still alive out here.
“Here baby, here, hold on. I gotchya” he said, quickly grabbing his inhaler with a vial of the chems you’d run out of last night, never needing it more than in this moment to keep you from turning feral on him. He pressed it to your lips, pushing the plunger on it to get the chems in your system. You inhaled it like a breath of fresh cool air, sending you coughing once more but that itch was slowly fading away, you could breathe again. You looked up at him as you laid there weakly, your head in his lap. “My hero” you said weakly, trying to be funny but he was too caught up in looking into your eyes, getting himself to believe what was right in front of him. “Two centuries I’ve spent looking for you…” you said, your eyes scanning him and his features to assure yourself too that this was real, that he really was sitting here before you, alive and well. Or as well as one could be as a ghoul in the wastelands. You smiled as you teared up, seeing the tears in his eyes as he looked down at you, pulling you up and into a hug. “Oh god…I can’t believe you’re alive” he said, hugging you tight and you did the same, burying your face into his shoulder. “I could say the same to you. I always knew you were stubborn, too stubborn to go out the way the rest of the world did” you said, making him chuckle as stray tears ran down your marred cheeks. “I’ve been dreaming of this day…dreaming of the day I’d get to see you and B/N again…” he said, making you grip his duster as the tears flooded down your face even more when he said your baby girl’s name. “Cooper…” you said, making him pull away from you but you weren’t far, he made sure of it. “She…she didn’t make it, honey…I’m so sorry. I tried everything, believe me I did, but it was too late…” you said, making his heart absolutely break in his chest knowing his baby was gone and that he would never have the chance to see her again.
“What was she like? She was so young when it all happened” He asked, holding your hands in his as you two shared in this moment together. You smiled as your hand cupped his cheek softly, your thumb rubbing along his skin that shared the same texture as your own. “Just like her daddy. She had your gorgeous eyes, your beautiful smile and that same stubborn attitude” you said through a laugh, making him chuckle with you as his hand came to hold the back of yours as it touched him. He missed your loving touch, and that beautiful smile that he swore could light up even the darkest rooms. He could hardly believe that you’d still even touch or speak to him now, with the way he looked. He knew you likely held a sympathy for it, knowing all too well yourself what it was like but the fact that you weren’t scared or hateful like others were towards him for it. “She was smart, funny, kind…she was daddy’s baby girl. You’d have loved that about her. It was like a little slice of you was there in her, keeping me going. She gave me hope when it felt like there wasn’t any left in this world to hold onto” you said, seeing a few stray tears stream down his cheeks as you spoke of her. His stomach was in knots, his heart filled with anger and pain to know the wastelands claimed one of his own. “I wish I coulda been there, for both of you. Maybe she’d be here if I was” he said somberly, guilt lacing his tone as he leaned his forehead against yours, not caring if your hats would come off. He needed this, he needed you. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for what happened, you had nothing to do with it. It’s those vile people at Vault-Tec who did this. They took our baby, not you. Don’t you ever think this is your fault” you assured him, holding him close to you as he expressed the most emotion he’s felt in nigh on two centuries.
“We made it pretty good all things considered, held our own well for ten years. I taught her how to use a gun when she turned eight to keep her safe should anything happen to me, did everything in my power to keep her safe, fed and hydrated even on the hard days where supplies were sparse” you explained. “The radiation just became too much for her little body to handle. She was ten years old, I could hardly believe it. It was like I woke up one day and she wasn’t a baby anymore, our little girl had just grown up so fast” you said, remembering those days as tears clouded your vision, streaming down your cheeks like small rivers, watching the droplets fall into the sand beneath you. “I’m sorry Cooper, I’m so sorry…” you apologized, making him hold you tight and hush you as you did. “I shoulda been better…if I was better maybe she’d still be here now” you said, taking the blame for something you knew you had no control over, but it left you guilty all the same. “Shh, don’t go thinkin’ like that. I’d say from the sounds of it, ya did a damn fine job managin’ that long out in this shit hole just the two of you. You always were a great mom, and an equally great wife” he said, making you sniffle as you smiled at him at that reassurance. “I did all I could, there was hell to pay for anyone who stood in my way, that’s for sure” you said, making him chuckle because that was exactly how you were before the war too. You always wanted what was best for your family, and you were willing to go great lengths to keep your husband and child happy. “I know you said you been lookin’ for me for a long time…but I ain’t the same man I was back then” he started. “But I got a feelin’ you ain’t exactly the same woman anymore either, so maybe we can still work this out, you and me” he said, making you chuckle. “No, I’m not. And if that means you don’t love me anymore I-“ you spoke but you were cut off by the feel of his lips against your own. They were thinner now, dry and marred by radiation just like yours were, but you could still feel the passion behind it, the love in it. No amount of radiation could ever take that away. “You lettin’ all the radiation get to that brain of yours? Of course I still love you. I lost ya once, I ain’t losin’ you again, that’s for damn sure” he said, making you laugh as more tears fell, only these ones were happier ones now. You squeezed his hand that was in your own as your heart raced in your chest. “You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear, Coop” you replied, kissing him once more with all the passion two hundred years of separation could hold behind it. “I love you, and I’ve missed you so damn much” you said, pressing your foreheads together once more as you fought the tears that began to turn into a sob. “I love you too darlin’, missed you like crazy. The world ain’t been the same without you” he said, making you sniffle as you felt the same way. “And if you’ll still have me, I’d like to make that a world of the past” he added, making you chuckle tearfully. “Of course I will” you said, allowing his heart to rest assured that you were still his girl, making him smile as he looked down at you, his thumb rubbing along your cheek to wipe away your tears.
You smiled back up at him, your hand coming to the back of his as you remembered the moment from your birthday again all those years ago, slow dancing in the kitchen with him. “What’s that look for, hmm?”You asked, just like you did that day, making him grin as he thought of the right words to say. “Nothin’ just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful person on this earth” he replied, making you chuckle. It was just what you’d been needing to hear all this time. “And how lucky I am to have her back in my arms where she belongs” he added, making you giggle before kissing you once more. Desert be damned, Cooper had his wife back after so long spent searching for her, and he was going to make damn sure she knew how much he missed her all these years.
#cooper howard#cooper howard x reader#fallout#fallout x reader#the ghoul#the ghoul x reader#asks#request
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hi. it's sqh/yqy again. you're going to need to read the preceding segment of this for it to make sense.
1 - Critical Failure!
The thing about Yue Qingyuan was that he was really fucking good at this whole cultivation thing. It wasn't for nothing that OP protagonist son Bing-ge had to catch Yue Qingyuan in a trap first to get a good chance at killing him! Even now, years before he'd really hit his prime, Yue Qingyuan was the perfect model cultivator, with a strong and expertly trained body, and, relevantly to this situation, actually pretty fast and possessed of a very good reaction time.
All this to say, Shang Qinghua got out the window.
He did not get much further than the window, because Yue Qingyuan also dove out the window (gracefully!) and (less gracefully!) proceeded to bodily tackle Shang Qinghua.
There was some rolling and shouting and flailing involved. Let it not be said that Shang Qinghua went down without a fight! Or at least without some screaming and crying!
Yue Qingyuan still managed to pin Shang Qinghua down, because of course he did.
"I'm not a chair, stop sitting on me!"
"Just a moment, I really do--" Yue Qingyuan paused to deal with Shang Qinghua's elbow to his face and also slam it down so Shang Qinghua couldn't elbow him again -- "appreciate -- your concern. But there's really no need to bother Shen-shidi with these things, so if you could just -- hold still--"
"Hahaha, no way bro!" Shang Qinghua said, and bit him.
Was this a smart decision? Not really, but it sure was satisfying!
Yue Qingyuan made a noise that could have been an aborted swear. "Shang-shidi, I don't think that was necessary."
"Necessary is a subjective term!" Shang Qinghua said. "It's necessary to turn in paperwork, but have you seen how many people I need to chase down for that?? Clearly the definition isn't universal!"
"That's not the same --"
"It's absolutely the same!"
"You don't bite them!"
"And what if I did? Maybe I should!! Maybe they'll learn to fill out the requisition forms correctly then!!!"
"That isn't--" Yue Qingyuan exhaled. "This isn't... are you... still going to tell Qingqiu?"
"I don't know, am I???"
"It's... private. Please don't tell him."
"If I don't, will you?"
Yue Qingyuan laughed. It was an empty and unpleasant sound. "He wouldn't want me reminding him how I failed." His head drooped down, closer to Shang Qinghua's chest. "I broke my promise, Shang-shidi. Who wants to hear about that again?"
...Was Yue Qingyuan about to cry on him?
.Wow! This situation was already uncomfortable! It was about to get even more uncomfortable!
"If I say I won't," Shang Qinghua wheedled, "then will you get off me."
Having the thighs of a strong and beautiful cultivator on either side of him was the stuff of the shitty romance novels he still liked reading. Every man's dream! Super sexy! Except the romance novels never accounted for when the cultivator was about to have a nervous breakdown! Opposite of sexy, actually!
"You still want to tell him, don't you?" Yue Qingyuan said. "I don't think it'll be better that way. Even if it's you and not me -- especially if it's you and not me -- won't it be worse? Wouldn't he just be angry that I couldn't tell him myself?"
"Isn't this conversation pointless if you're not planning on telling him yourself?" Shang Qinghua said.
Yue Qingyuan looked down at him with big, sad eyes. "Qinghua, please don't say anything."
Ah? Aaah?? Was Yue Qingyuan trying puppy-dog eyes? That wasn't going to work, Yue-shixiong! Too bad! People did that on An Ding everyday! Shang Qinghua was immune! He had no sympathy!
"Don't cry on me," Shang Qinghua said.
Yue Qingyuan laughed again.
Somebody choked.
It was... not Shang Qinghua. It was very much a sound Shang Qinghua would make, but...
Shang Qinghua tilted his head back, and there it was. A little Qiong Ding disciple coming through the brush, scroll in hand, probably playing messenger boy. He was staring at them, wide-eyed and white-faced.
Shang Qinghua suddenly became horribly aware of his position -- Yue Qingyuan on top of him, straddling his hips, pinning his hands over his head, both of them disheveled and breathing hard. He'd been bucking up to try to get Yue Qingyuan off, but at first glance, it looked like... well, that he was, ha, trying to get Yue Qingyuan off. You know, the other way.
"Ah," Yue Qingyuan said, in the tone of someone who was experiencing the same revelation as Shang Qinghua and was just beginning to conceptualize the impact of it on his honorable and righteous reputation.
This would be really funny if Shang Qinghua was not involved.
"I see Da-shixiong is busy with private matters!" squeaked the little Qiong Ding shidi. "Sorry to interrupt! I'll come back later!"
"That's not necessary," Yue Qingyuan began, hastily straightening up. Ah, but that was too little, too late. Shidi was already way out of earshot and disappearing into the distance, clearly intent on respecting the privacy of Da-shixiong.
"So," Shang Qinghua said conversationally, "what are the chances your shidi is going to tell everyone not to disturb you because you're busy?" He put as much suggestiveness in the last word as he possibly could, just so Yue Qingyuan got the point.
Yue Qingyuan winced. "Yan-shidi is... not subtle."
"So everyone's going to know this happened."
"... Likely, yes."
"And they're all going to think we were about to fuck nasty outside."
"Um," Yue Qingyuan said.
Yue Qingyuan was still sitting on him.
Shang Qinghua let the back of his head hit the ground with a thump. "Fuck."
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sorry if you’ve already done this 😭😭😭 but could you do Avery and Gigi headcanons!! Like when they meet and become friends ((((:
avery and gigi head canons
OMG YES! i honestly didn't think of making head canons for those two, but now that you mention it, i'm extremely intrigued. might not be as good as my other posts considering we don't know a whole bunch about gigi but i'll do my best. i've also been working on requests/posts for literal hours so my brain might be out of head canon making power. hope you like them though <3.
gigi is always asking questions about avery's childhood bc avery has the weirdest stories ever bc of the way she grew up.
avery taught her self-defense after some guy tried to come after her. gigi is now better than avery and will most definitely end you if you try to hurt her (she may or may not have also learned self-defense in order to kill duncan)
gigi loves talking to avery bc she doesn't really talk often which allows gigi to spill her guts out. she always has so many different stories to share and stuff, but most people don't spare the time to listen to her.
gigi forces avery to do tiktoks with her (dances, grwms, etc) bc avery looks so awkward and uncomfortable, and it makes her laugh.
she will steal avery's coffee bc no one allows her to have any. avery knows she steals it but doesn't say shit.
gigi forced avery to talk about sheffield and what he did to her. gigi now despises (but still sort of loves him cause he's her father) her father. she didn't think he had it in him to do smth like that to a literal child.
she encourages avery to talk about her emotions and let everything out. gigi is like the mental health advocate (for everyone but herself)
gigi loves ice skating and wanted to bring avery to the ice rink with her. avery didn't know how to ice skate though so gigi taught her how to (their lessons involved a lot of falling, near death experiences, concussions, etc)
avery is like an overprotective mom. if gigi is getting bullied or smth, she heads to that person's house/school or whtv and beats the crap out of them (verbally). they always run away in fear and never bother gigi again.
gigi buys avery clothes all the time. she thinks avery is really pretty and likes dressing her up.
avery gives gigi her credit card and tells her to spend money on whatever she wants (gigi calls avery her sugar mommy)
for some reason, avery is a really good twerker (is that even a word) and gigi forced her to teach her how to shake ass.
gigi feels comfortable enough to open up to avery and ask for advice/vent. she finds avery to be really non judgmental and straight forward which she appreciates.
avery and gigi will constantly gang up on grayson and pull pranks n him (they once replaced all of his expensive skincare with cheap shitty drugstore skincare and he actually screamed)
avery helps gigi with her homework when she's struggling. gigi is convinced avery is a saint bc she always explains the stuff to her better than her actual teachers.
gigi is bi (at least in my head), and avery was the first person she came out to.
they both talk about how much of a fucking coward grayson is when it comes to his feelings for lyra(?). they'll be watching grayson and lyra and they'll be saying things like 'omg how fucking dense can a man be, like, just fucking confess', and gigi will be like 'i fucking hate men'
avery bought her a cat (idk if its been mentioned in tbh if gigi actually has cats or if she just likes them, but if she does own cats, just pretend avery bought her another one)
they go out together and buy her cat(s?) cute little outfits (tutus, gucci coats, bows etc).
gigi has (not anymore though) a tinder account, and avery found out about it. she absolutely freaked and deleted the account telling gigi that it was dangerous and that she'd find a man for her if she was that desperate.
avery never got to experience things that most kids got to experience (she grew up too fast/didn't have the opportunity), and gigi finds it sad, so, she brings her out to like trampoline parks and stuff. it makes gigi happy seeing how happy avery is.
avery is always apologizing to gigi about her father. she blames herself and thinks she should've found another way to escape (when she was kidnapped). gigi reassures her by telling her that there was no other way and that, after everything her father did, he sort of deserved to die.
they shit talk men. they fucking hate them.
in my gigi and grayson post, i mentioned gigi loves knitting. avery knows this and buys her yarn all the time. when she's out with max (or alone or with gigi), she goes to stores that sell yarn and looks for smth cool for gigi.
gigi and her family don't have much money after what happened in tbh. avery gave them all a huge amount of money. acacia feels bad, but avery insisted. when gigi found out, she was so fucking happy she literally knelt on the floor telling avery she was a literal god. she then cried in her arms.
gigi gets her to dress up in the most scandolous shit ever. she somehow found out avery's bra size/underwear size and buys her lingerie whenever she goes out. avery secretly loves it but pretends to be scandalized.
#the inheritance games#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#avery grambs#xander hawthorne#nash hawthorne#gigi grayson
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Uh do you have any headcanons about Jeff and Liu's relationship (not as a loveship)? İn their past or after the accident. It could be both of them
I hope I didn't ask for anything difficult (╥﹏╥)
Hiiiii anon, okay so thank you so much first of all for asking.
I don't know do you mean my main AU or general headcanons, and that's totally my fault, so I'm just gonna use main AU if that's okay with you. If not and you want random headcanons, I apologize and I'll try again.
And don't worry at all, I'll be pleased to write!!
Also, people who ship Jeff and Liu, please stay the fuck away from me.
JEFF AND LIU'S RELATIONSHIP
Before that night
When Jeff and Liu were little, they were not only brothers, but also two really close friends. They would do everything together and support each other all the time. They were always there for each other while growing up.
When Liu was bullied as a child, Jeff helped him by beating up his bullies. Even then, it was obvious how much anger issued he had even as a child, but his parents didn't feel the need to do anything because they thought it was just a child's anger.
When they got a little older, Liu was always in Jeff's shadow among the students. Among the teachers, Jeff was always in the background.
Liu was constantly ridiculed by other students, and praised by teachers about what a good and polite kid he was. Jeff was a popular guy who got along well with other children, and the teachers hated him and constantly complained to his parents.
But they both had each other. They thought that they would overcome all the bad events they had experienced together and escape this life. They loved it, but it broke their hearts that their parents were a little too careless about some things. Especially when they didn't come to school shows because of work, Jeff was consoling his younger brother, who was sadder than he was, even though he was angry.
Jeff was constantly teasing with Liu, and Liu was telling him what a stupid person he was, but neither of them cared because they knew that neither of them was not serious.
The favorite of the family, of course, was Liu. Liu was always praised and Jeff was always scolded. Although Jeff didn't like it, Liu hated it even more. According to him, Jeff had his own achievements, and they should be appreciated.
They liked to play games together. They were organizing video game tournaments and betting. Even though Jeff was the one who taught Liu these things, Liu was a better gamer than him. Of course, this might also be due to things such as Jeff trying to kick the referee, who is an extra, while playing a football match.
Whenever Jeff hung out with his friends, he would never see Liu down because he was small and he would invite him to hang out with them. Liu was really grateful for this, but he began to refuse this offer after growing up, because Jeff's friends did not like him.
Jeff's only sensitive point was his younger brother Liu. People could insult him all they wanted, but when they said a word to Liu, they would find Jeff's fist in front of them.
They were both very dear to each other and they were the ones who understood each other the best.
The 5-year period from that night to their first meeting after
First of all, their relationship was completely broken off. Liu was dead, and Jeff was incredibly remorseful that he was the cause of this. That's why he visited his grave almost every week and told him about the developments in his life. If Liu were alive, he would have done exactly this.
But there was also something that Jeff didn't know. Liu wasn't dead. He was alive, he was breathing, and he hated Jeff. He wanted to kill Jeff and was determined to avenge his family.
For this reason, Liu followed Jeff for a while without showing himself in any way. He thought that he wanted to catch him at his most vulnerable moment, in fact, he did not realize that he missed his brother, no matter what mistakes he made.
When he saw that he was visiting his grave in a close to regular manner, he felt that he was drowning in many mixed emotions. But the most outweighing of these feelings was longing. Liu was missing his brother.
Jeff, who never admits his mistakes even though he knows he's wrong, would do anything to see Liu face to face just one more time and apologize. Because that was the thing he regrets the most in his life.
After following Jeff for a while and seeing what a miserable life he had, Liu decided that things couldn't stay this way any longer. Jeff needed him as much as ever.
But Liu wasn't sure what he would face. He didn't know how Jeff would treat him or how he would react to learning that he wasn't dead.
So he decided to take a hand in the situation. He started leaving notes and signs that could only belong to him. This had two purposes. If Jeff react them well, he would show himself after a while and they would become brothers again. If Jeff react it badly, he would have both taken revenge on him in a small way and he would return to his plan to kill Jeff.
And the result was a complete mess.
Jeff almost got even crazier. He thought that someone had found out secrets about Liu, and he was extremely aggressive towards everyone. Others were already tired of him and his behavior wasn't helping at all. He started attacking people more, experiencing mental breakdowns more often, and becoming thoroughly paranoid.
But when he visited Liu's grave, the situation was different. He started telling his memories of when Liu was alive and talking about how much he missed him. He was saying a copycat of him was for using him and how he would find this person and torture him to trying to do such a thing.
And he did as he told. Liu did not like birds since he was a a kid, and one day, while he was secretly watching Jeff at the grave, a bird came very close to him. When Liu was startled by this, he made a little noise, and Jeff instantly got on his guard and asked who was there.
Forced to show up eventually, Liu sarcastically apologized for his plan being foiled so early. Having seen Jeff for a while, he wasn't even half as surprised as he was. The only thing he wanted was to hug his brother, who he had to observe from a distance all this time.
Jeff, on the other hand, was in complete shock. At first he shouted that he was a hallucination and tried to harm him. However, due to the knife that slightly tangentially passed into Liu's hand, his hand bled slightly and he realized that the Liu he saw in front of him was real.
Jeff collapsed to the ground because his legs were refusing to carry him any further.
Thinking that he regretted doing this, Liu relented and slowly collapsed on the ground next to him. He hugged Jeff while crying and babbling apologies in a row. And after a while, he got this moment that he had been waiting for for years.
Years later, the two brothers had reunited. Liu's grave had enabled Jeff to make up for his mistakes for the second time. (Nina's part)
Currently
No matter how big mistakes have been made in the past, they have a relationship that can be considered good right now. Of course, it's not a normal relationship, but it's the healthiest human relationship Jeff has in his new life.
They're not staying together. Jeff stays in a cabin in the forest with proxies and a few staff members because he needs to stay under the control of Slenderman, and Liu has enough money to rent his own house since he writes anonymously as a job and is also successful in his job.
But they see each other often. Although they are usually supposed to meet in the forest because of Jeff's appearance, sometimes they go to the city or Liu's house together while Jeff is wearing a mask.
Liu didn't introduce him to anyone both because he dedicated her life to finding Jeff so he doesn't have anyone he's that close to, and even if he did, it would be too risky. Jeff, on the other hand, introduced Liu to everyone he knew. Of the proxies, the person Liu gets along with the best is Hoodie, and the person he gets along with the best in general is 'Eyeless' Jack.
They really have fun when they're together, and Jeff even manages to make someone as serious as Liu laugh. They care about each other and they will not allow any resentment to come between them again.
Jeff and Sully, on the other hand, don't get along very well. Although Sully still wants to kill Jeff, Jeff tries not to insult him because Liu and Sully have a good relationship now. While he's not very successful, at least he's trying.
At the moment, despite their past, it can be said that they have a fairly good sibling relationship.
Long ass post, sorry about that.
But I hope you enjoyed it!!
#my first main au question#i'm so excited#thank you so much#for spending time#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta headcanon#creepy#homicidal liu#jeff the killer#liu woods#liu creepypasta#jeff woods#jeff creepypasta
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this bday feels more special than usual because there's a lot of big changes coming up in my life and this begins to kick that off in a sense so I've been reflecting on a bunch of stuff
I feel like I'm really on the other side of so much bad painful soul sucking shit now. like I feel I can truly confidently say it this time. FINALLY. I held onto bad things that were doing me so much harm mentally and physically for years and I really struggled to finally let go of a lot of things I should have for the past couple. but now it's really all over and like I can start to move on and heal for real
some huge changes to my personal life are coming up, most of which I'm not going to share but I'm pretty excited about and think will have a big positive impact on me. I'm working hard to make beneficial changes to my life in every way I can now in health and living, as exhausting as it can be with my constant chronic pain and fatigue. I finally have the will and determination to try
it's a waiting game in regards to my health with waiting on referrals but I've done what I've needed to so far with appointments to set it in motion and I'm proud of myself. after years of neglecting myself and my suspected condition, I've finally started it! and I've found out that stress factually affects it very badly, so I have to let go of the things that hurt and stress me out for good
I'm also truly accepting that I'm not a very well liked person to a lot of people. it doesn't matter because there are surely as many who like me too. I see kindness and support from others just as much as hate and I need to put all my focus and energy into the former alone. I want to look as grateful and appreciative as I am, not caught up in negativity. my mind can be a negative place but I'm working on it
and of course as usual, I'm going to keep being myself and following my heart and expressing my passion the way I want. because I'm never going to give up the things I enjoy and repress myself because of the disapproval of others
I feel like I can start looking forward and I'm feeling much more positive about things over all. in a few months time my living situation, hopefully my physical health, and my mindset will hopefully be improved. and it actually has me looking forward to seeing what the future holds
I've been through a lot of tough shit and pain and did some stupid shit along the way but I learned a lot about myself and what I want and need through it and I'm happy to finally be making all the right changes. I'm really glad I feel like I'm on the otherside of it, especially after how bad the past couple of years have been especially for me
and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has supported me and stuck around when I was struggling and will be here to see the better version of myself and enjoy my blog. it means the world to me 💜
now I'm gonna go out and have a good bday today!
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Saga of Solitude 3/?
Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. Hangster AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version).
PROLOGUE (He remembers)
HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)
Updating ~weekly (longer chapters).
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS
ONE (2000) TWO (2001)
2002
The summer break is short. He doesn’t know how it’s been swung, but he fully suspects that Ice has something to do with it. Maverick has the three weeks off, leave timed perfectly with the weeks that Bradley is home. Ice has taken actual vacation time, apparently timed to coincide with his daughter’s summer vacation, but Bradley knows better, knows the coincidence of them all being together, in the same city, is too much for him to pass up and wants them all together. Sarah and Melissa take the opportunity to actually go away for a week just the two of them and the girls stay with Ice, Bradley and Maverick moving in to ostensibly help with the girls.
He works out and runs, Mav and Ice taking turns to join him so that one of them can stay behind with the girls. He sometimes goes for a run again later, Tamsin and Petra on their bikes, a little wobbly, but they go to the park nearby and play on the playground. They introduce Bradley to their friends as their brother, and he decides he likes that title best of all, lets it settle around his shoulders like a warm jacket after years of not knowing whether they were his cousins, siblings or even nieces because of the age difference. Brother he likes most of all.
When he’s out running, or even in the playground he gets a few appreciative looks; he lets that feeling settle in his gut, pleasure that other people think he’s attractive. He doesn’t let himself think about it when he’s at Annapolis, too intent on his studies and learning everything they put in front of him. Right now though it’s his summer break and he can enjoy being looked at. Can enjoy looking back. Not that he finds the mom’s looking very attractive or interesting, but he can hope that what they find attractive is something that others will also find attractive.
He takes Tamsin and Petra for ice cream. They both call Mav Papa, which is adorable but he also worries about what people might think if they overhear them. He has to force himself to not overthink or worry about it. He has enough to worry about around his presence at Annapolis, about how many people know that Mav is his stepfather, legal guardian and just Captain Peter Mitchell in general. Not to mention how Admiral Kazansky is his secondary emergency contact. He’s glad no-one sees his paperwork other than the admissions office and the higher ups if there is an emergency. Not that they don’t already know.
He doesn’t need to mention to Maverick and Ice that he wants to go out, they seem to sense it and they both just silently nod when he informs them he’s going out. None of them mention the box of condoms and little sachets of lube that mysteriously appeared in his bedroom both at Mav’s place and also at Ice’s his first couple of days home. He’s not going to raise it, simply takes it as acknowledgement that they know he’s sexually active and want him to be safe. At least, he’s hoping to be sexually active, even as his gut churns with nerves.
All in all it’s pretty lackluster and he doesn’t know exactly why people would seek this out over and over. Part of him wants to ask Mav or Ice about it, but they’ve never been exactly open about their relationship, and he knows that’s partly because they have to keep it hidden, but Mav had taken him through the safe sex talk and said to come to him if he had any questions. Asking whether sex is meant to be good or not… well, he’s pretty sure it’s meant to be better then that.
His nineteenth birthday arrives and when they all head out to an airstrip his eyes go wide. There’s a Beechcraft sitting on the tarmac and he turns to Mav and Ice, eyes wide.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Called in a couple of favors…”
“Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Oh my god. Are you serious right now?”
“Language…” Ice says, voice tired and Bradley shoots him a quick apologetic look.
“You’re only allowed to sit in the back, and it’s only a pop-up, but thought you’d like it.”
“Does make the phone I got you seem a bit boring,” Ice says wryly, handing him a tidily wrapped package and Bradley can’t wipe the grin off his face.
“God I love you guys,” Bradley says, wrapping them both in hugs.
The flight morphs from what was likely meant to be a quick pop-up to something a bit longer and he whoops with delight as Mav does some shit that Ice will no-doubt tell him off for later but he loves every second of it, feels like if he gets to do this for a job then every second an boat school will be worth it. He gets out, his body still vibrating with the rush of adrenaline and he wants to immediately turn around and go back up, the look on Maverick’s face telling him he’d probably take him, but there are a couple of other people approaching, shaking Ice’s hand and then turning to Maverick, wishing him happy birthday and he thanks them profusely.
“Only a pop-up huh?” Ice says, voice dry and the grin Maverick gives him is wide and unapologetic and Bradley can’t help the laugh that escapes.
“Oh my god, flying is so much better than sex!”
Mav and Ice look at each other before they’re both laughing and Bradley frowns.
“What? What’s funny?”
“Well. I’m just remembering my teenage fumblings and I’d have to rate flying above them too. But sex generally gets better with practice.”
“Like most things,” Ice says, staring up at the sky so he doesn’t have to make eye contact with anyone and Bradley’s grateful. It also answers his unasked questions about sex, not all of them obviously, but okay, it’ll probably get better. No. It will get better, he just needs to practice. Of course, practicing having sex is a lot more difficult than working on his running times. Anyway, he’ll find a way, because obviously Mav and Ice figured it ou.
He hasn’t really ever given their relationship much thought, other than knowing that they have one and that they’re together. They’re not physically demonstrative with each other, he’s never even seem them kiss, and he gets that maybe they’re hyper-careful because Tamsin and Petra are young and have loose lips, but not even in front of him. They’re obviously solid though, seem to communicate without talking and he definitely notices more now that he’s older. The silent communication with quirks of eyebrows, little smiles and eyerolls all seeped in affection. If he’s looking for it. Of course, there’s also yelling, which he doesn’t need to look for because he hears it and often, although it’s always short-lived.
It makes him watch Sarah and Melissa, and they’re like the complete opposite of Ice and Maverick, physically demonstrative as well as verbally telling each other they love each other all the time. It makes him feel a little uncomfortable sometimes, like maybe he’s seeing something they don’t want him to, but they never seem to give him any mind and Tamsin and Petra are both equally physically demonstrative, wanting hugs and cuddles and he likes that. It’s probably good for them to see their parents like that.
Thinking about parents has him digging, unearthing old home videos and he watches the videos of his parents, and it’s weird, seeing something almost twenty years old, and what he guesses is the only straight relationship he has as an example, and it’s more of a dream than something he sees everyday. Judging from the videos his dad loved his mom and wasn’t afraid of letting the world know about it. He wonders what he’d be doing if both his parents were still alive. Wonders what he’d be doing if his mom was alive, if he’d have listened to her wish to not become a pilot if it had been made to him from her directly. He’s so glad that Mav and Ice have supported him.
As his time at home comes to an end he isn’t expecting the round-the-table family discussion, with even Sarah and Melissa present. Tamsin and Petra are distracted with cartoons, and he wonders what they’re about to lay in front of him. He’s not prepared for them saying how much they all missed him. Even Melissa is nodding, and her job as an emergency doctor means she’s had the least to do with Bradley, but she ruffles his hair, tells him he’s part of their family and his heart swells.
“So the last year sucked, not getting to see you at all.”
“There will be enough times in the future when visiting you won’t be an option, you’ll be deployed for months at a time.”
“We want to make the most of the fact that we can visit you while you’re at USNA. We promise that it won’t be often, but we do want to see you.”
“We’ve maybe come up with a way to visit you more often.”
Their voices all overlap and he listens as they explain, how they’ll look at his liberty leave schedule, how they’ll plan just a few hours of visiting, to have dinner, for the girls to see him and for him to see the girls. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve a family like this, although a cynical part of him reminds him that he’s an orphan, and that maybe this is the universe’s way of making up for all the loss he’s had to suffer. If it means he gets to have Maverick and Ice, Sarah and Melissa, Tamsin and Petra… well. Of course he’d like his parents to be alive and to know what they think of him and his decisions. But his family is what he makes it and he’s so grateful he has what he has with the people in this house right now.
So they hammer out a plan. He comes home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Spring break, what weird simile the USNA has, he can spend with his friends, even if he protests that he’d rather see them. They plan to drop him off again, even though it’s really not needed. It’s a long way to travel for a few more hours but none of them let his arguments be heard.
The year back at Annapolis starts and god it’s good not to be a Plebe anymore. The familiar routine settles around him and it feels great, knowing what is expected of him and how to meet and exceed those expectations. He gets a few approving nods from his tutors and physical instructors when it becomes apparent to them that he’s continued to work on his fitness over the summer, leaving the vast majority of his class in the dust. There is one other that keeps up with him, almost effortlessly, although her eyes are narrowed.
“Trace.”
“Bradshaw.”
She nods and slaps his shoulder so hard it hurts and he grins, thinks he might like her if she actually lets him get to know her, her own lips as tightly sealed as his own when other people are asking questions. It’s not until a couple of weeks in, they’re sharing a table in silence and a photo of Tamsin and Petra slips out of his address book and hits the floor, sliding under the table and coming to a stop beneath Trace’s chair. Then Trace is picking it up, glancing at the picture of him in his jean shorts and white tank, eating ice cream with Tamsin and Petra pressed in on each side also eating ice cream.
“Your… kids?” Trace asks, sliding the photo across the table to him and he shakes his head sharply.
“No. Sisters.”
“That makes more sense.”
“Yeah. I miss them. Tamsin and Petra.”
“I miss my family too,” Trace admits, and it’s the first time she’s even admitted she had family so he just smiles and nods. He highlights every liberty leave weekend and folds the schedule into an envelope meant for Sarah and Melissa. He knows that Ice likely already has access to it with all his connections but he knows Sarah and Melissa won’t, that they’ll want to plan it all out and he feels the warmth suffuse through him that his family want to go out of their way to see him. He writes letters to Tamsin and Petra, invites Trace to also draw pictures with his box of crayons to send and she turns out to be far more talented than him.
It changes something between them after that, Trace seeking him out at mealtimes, asking him if he wants to study with her. He knows there are rumors about them sleeping together, but that’s all they are, rumors, and he knows he can’t get in trouble even if they were having sex, as long as they’re never caught. Which isn’t a problem considering it’s never going to happen.
His first liberty afternoon he’s not getting visitors, but decides to head off campus just so it’s part of his routine, so he can meet his family off-base in the future without raising eyebrows over out of the ordinary behavior. He takes some course work and finds a coffee shop several blocks away. It’s a Saturday afternoon so he has his customary call with Mav, talks about how he’s joined the drum and bugle corps as well as the glee club. He says he plays the piano when he can, but he’s nowhere good enough for the instrumental club, but he’s still got plenty of music in his life, which he knows makes Mav think of his dad, but he can’t help that it’s something he genuinely enjoys himself.
“Anyone sitting here?”
He looks up and the guy asking is a bit older and Bradley glances around the busy coffee shop, there are other seats available, but none at empty tables, so he’d have to be asking someone if he wanted to sit down.
“Uh, no. Please. Have a seat”
“Thanks.”
The guy doesn’t say anything, reads a book and sips his coffee and Bradley does the same, reading over course work and when his ankle is bumped he looks up to find the guy looking at him, his foot still resting against his ankle. Oh. He blushes and looks away, goes back to studying and shifts his foot away slightly. The guys foots doesn’t follow, but when he glances up it’s to find he’s being watched. Okay then.
“My name’s Kevin.”
“Uh. Bradley.”
“Nice to meet you Bradley.”
“And you.”
He shifts his feet a little further away and goes back to studying, tries to ignore the fluttering nerves. After a while he looks up and Kevin is closing his book, drawing back, but he’s sliding a piece of paper across the table and it’s got a phone number on it. He knocks his knuckle against it and gives Bradley a wink and then leaves.
He stares at the number and wonders how it would even work. He sure as hell won’t be using it, he’s far too close to the USNA to be comfortable hooking up with anyone, and it’s not like he can seriously consider a relationship, not with DADT. Not that he thinks that was in any way shape or form an invitation to start a relationship. Huh. He wonders if that’s all he’s destined to have for a while, meaningless hookups which aren’t even that great.
He throws the piece of paper in the next trash can he sees.
… … …
Classes continue and he does get to see his family, his favorite time is when Tamsin and Petra visit and he gets to show them around the places that he’d tried to draw pictures of. He goes home for Thanksgiving, enjoys the time and goes out on the Friday night, determined to hook up and try and have a decent sexual experience. It’s definitely an improvement on summer, and he wonders if he was just more nervous before. He comes back to a book sitting on his bed, The Joy of Gay Sex and he knows it’s Pete’s way of showing support and love. He supposes he should be grateful that he’s not having to have actual conversations about it.
Of course that’s when he realizes at Christmas that he wants to go somewhere for spring break. Somewhere he can hook up without worrying at all, maybe have sex in a bed. Maybe with the same person more than once, although that might be pushing it. He just feels an itch that he wants to scratch, and he needs to scratch it in such a specific way that he knows he’s going to have to ask either Mav or Ice about it. The more he thinks about it the more he leans towards asking Ice, feels like he’ll get considered answers that weigh up pros and cons and potential consequences, rather than throwing a dart at a map and hoping for the best, which is totally what he can envision Mav doing.
“Hey Ice…”
“Bradley. You okay?”
“Yeah. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something?”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Uh, Okay. You know how we were saying I could go and hang out with friends for spring break?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I don’t particularly want to hang out with friends, but I wouldn’t be averse to, uh. God this is going to sound awful. But I want to go somewhere I can hook up and just… not have to care. You know?”
Ice lets out a short huff of breath and looks at the ceiling, like he’s steeling himself.
“Yeah. I know.”
“I know I could come back and visit, but just the thing you said about it getting better with practice, and I can’t during semester time. I just can’t.”
“Bradley. Stop. It’s fine. Trust me. I understand,” Ice says. “New York is good. And close enough that travel costs would be low. Because you’re going to need the money for a motel room.”
“New York.”
“Yeah. Lots of people. Good scene where you’d be anonymous. It’s lower risk, but there is still risk.”
“Did you do this?”
“Yeah, this was back in a 70s though and I hope you’re sure as hell safer than I was.”
“Yeah, of course. Gee that’s a long time ago.”
“I don’t need you pointing that out to me thank you.”
Bradley grins. Ice smiles back but it looks a bit painful.
… … …
Tom isn’t quite sure whether he should repeat the conversation he had with Bradley with Mav. Just because Bradley didn’t ask him to keep it to himself doesn’t mean he should then share it. He helps Bradley book and pay for a motel, picking one he’s familiar enough with that he knows the neighborhood isn’t dangerous, but neither will anyone look twice at two men together. He sends Bradley a letter a few weeks before his spring break, a carefully itemized list of places he could consider visiting when he goes to New York, all numbered. Then he sends a message on his phone, tells him that all addresses associated to the prime numbers are nightclubs he might be interested in checking out. He knows Bradley will read between the lines.
The Saturday afternoon phone call that Bradley has with Maverick, that Tom shoehorns himself into whenever they’re close by, is due anytime and it’s become much easier to have since he gave Bradley the phone for his birthday. The ability to not have to wait for a free phone is so convenient, even if he hates having to carry one himself for work. He listens as Pete talks, asks Bradley what he thinks of Statue of Liberty and several other sights and Tom wonders how much of the city Bradley actually managed to see, or if he simply now has a deeper appreciation of the gay clubs in New York and all he saw really was the inside of his motel room. He holds his hand out for the phone when it sounds like Pete is winding up.
“Oh wait, Ice wants to talk to you.”
“Yeah. Love you too. Have a good week.”
“Hello,” Tom greets, taking the phone and holding it to his ear, watches as Maverick walks off after giving him a quick kiss and he follows him with his eyes.
“Hi Uncle Tom.”
“Did you have a good spring break?”
The pause and then the burst of laughter has his lips twitching.
“Oh my god. Yeah. Good and then some.”
“Better than flying?” Tom asks, amusement in his tone.
“Sometimes. Yeah.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“You, uh, didn’t tell Mav about what I was doing.”
“No. Did think about it. Decided I’d leave that to you if you wanted or needed to share that with him.”
“Thanks Uncle Tom.”
“Anytime.”
… … …
“MIdshipman Bradshaw!”
“Sir, yes sir.”
“Your presence has been requested in Admiral Naughton’s office. Better get along there.”
“Yes sir. Thank you sir.”
He’s never been called to the Superintendent’s office before, and he knows that’s a good thing, but of course he’s having to go there now and he’s racking his brain for anything he’s potentially done that might warrant being called to the office of the USNA Superintendent. It’s been a couple of months since spring break, he only has a few weeks before the end of the academic year. He’s been looking forward to having three weeks at home before starting his six weeks at sea, having passed on the SEAL and Marine Crops joint-operation option. He knows where he wants to be.
He knocks on the door and hears the instruction to enter, opens the door and steps inside, closing it behind him. The tightness in his stomach immediately eases as he recognizes the profile of Tom. Probably not in trouble then. Doesn’t explain what Tom is doing here exactly, but he also needs to remember to not call him Tom. Or Ice. He’s in his uniform, so potentially been nearby for work and of everyone it’s been Ice he hasn’t seen much of, his work keeping him busy, and his spare time spent with Tamsin and Petra, his young kids even if he is divorced.
“Admiral Naughton sir. You wanted to see me?”
“At ease Midshipman Bradshaw. Sorry for the potential scare, however Tom asked if he could maybe see you and it was too easy a request to deny. I’ll let you two catch up.”
Bradley blinks, because this is odd. Out of the ordinary even for Tom, although he guesses if Tom wanted to see him he’s not going to refuse. He hugs him, and he knows he must have grown more, because Tom feels a bit smaller than usual, although no less solid. He’s getting hugged back hard, firm slaps to the shoulder and getting looked at with pride and he feels so good when either Ice or Mav look at him like that.
“You’re still growing, Mav’s going to be able to fit under your chin when you come home.”
Bradley laughs.
“It’s so good to see you. And yeah, think I’m doing growing upwards, just building on the strength now. Be able to leave you in the dust when I come home.”
“Like you didn’t already last summer. But about coming home, I wanted to come and tell you in person, because of what you went through with your mom –”
Oh god no.
His whole world stops.
He doesn’t need Tom to say any more, feels his knees buckle a little before he catches himself.
“How long?”
“A week.”
“What? A week?”
“Shit. No. Not left to live. Fuck. Bradley. Stop filling in the blanks and let me finish.”
He hardly ever hears Tom swear, and he just sucks in a breath and nods.
“In a week I’m getting an operation to remove a tumor. It’s in my throat. Then some directed radiotherapy and drug cocktail. I just wanted to let you know I potentially won’t be up for much when you come home for summer. No work outs for me.”
“God Ice, like I care about what we do. So the prognosis is… good?”
“Yeah. It’s not terminal, just Stage One they think. Sarah and Melissa, mainly Melissa, kept on at me until I went in and got checked out. It’s been caught early they think.”
“Yeah well, Melissa is smart. I’m glad you listened to her.”
“So am I. She also forced Mav to get a full check. He’s as healthy as a horse.”
“Of course he is. Is this why you came to see me?”
“Well, I had business in Washington. I was offered a promotion and had to decline it. For now.”
“You declined it?”
Tom winces then, and Bradley knows it must have hurt, but also with the restriction on the number of Vice Admirals allowed it makes sense.
“What was the position?”
“Director of the DLA. Also involved a relocation to Virginia.”
“Oh. Leaving Sarah and the girls.”
“Yes.”
“So multiple reasons to politely decline.”
“Yes. I just have to hope it doesn’t impede future promotional opportunities.”
Bradley nods, because this is another proper adult conversation they’re having, and he feels very adult all of a sudden while also feeling like a little kid. It’s weird for so many reasons but he also likes it he thinks.
“So when you say you had business in Washington you had to politely tell the president thanks but no thanks.”
“Yes I did. Nice summation.”
Bradley laughs and hugs him again.
“Would you like a tour of your old stomping grounds?”
“Sure, why not. Show me around.”
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Heyheyheyyy and could you do Kate laswell x reader who’s really tall, like 6’8 kinda tall yk, i understand if not since it might be difficult but either way your work is really good :DDD
Hey there! Thank you, that's very sweet of you ^^ And sure I can!
Laswell with Very Tall S/O
I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t think she cares all that much about how tall you are. You could be the tiniest gremlin known to man or you could rival the skies with your height, she’ll love you all the same. She doesn’t fluster easily either if you just kabedon her, so I don’t think it has much of an impact on your relationship. Sure, she’ll appreciate you grabbing something for her, but she’ll also scold you if you use your height to your advantage to hold something out of her reach. She’s not a very cuddly person in general. Not that she’s entirely averse to touch, but she prefers to not be touched most of the time, so it’s not like she’ll get much cuddlier either like other characters. Sure, she’ll ask you to lean down if she wants to give you a small peck on the cheek, but if you tease her by not leaning down then it’s really your loss since she won’t kiss you then. She doesn’t really feel threatened by you being much taller than her, if anything she’ll use it to her advantage. You can spot things more easily than she does, which is why she might ask you to tag along when she’s going to crowded areas so she can find a better route through the people. It’s handy to have you around when she goes to larger stores since you can actually reach the upper shelves. So she’ll definitely use you to her advantage. But she’ll also chuckle a bit when you hit your head on the doorframe. Does ask you if you’re alright, though. However, she’s more than happy to help you find clothes and shoes that fit since she can imagine that it might be quite the hassle for you. She knows where to look for bigger clothes and shoes. And if you can’t find anything even then, then she’ll have something made for you. That way you’ll have something comfortable and fitting.
#cod#cod x reader#kate laswell#kate laswell x reader#sorry these aren't too romantic I just don't think Laswell is the kind of person to judge someone based on their looks she knows better#so if she really vibes with you then you can be sure she actually likes you for you personality#I think the only thing Laswell looks for in a partner is that they're around her age and not someone much younger than her#it just feels wrong to her to be with someone much younger. she's really not into that entire age gap thing#I think she appreciates you being taller than her. but not if you're being a dick about it all the time#you can tease her occasionally but she will scold you if you're being mean about it all the time#she's not uncomfortable with her height but she doesn't need to be made fun of all the time for being average height#so yeah just be down to earth and you won't ever have a problem with her
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A favourite bit of mine is matching a person with a car that fits their overall vibe. Back when I was on twitter I did this with historical philosophers, but now it is finally time to bring this bit to homestuck characters. As an aside, I put a shocking amount of work into making this post for how shitty it is.
John Egbert - Base model C4 Corvette
Some quick googling revealed that Con Air has not one but TWO Chevrolet Corvettes in it. The first is a C2 from the 1960s but, as a millennial, John will never be able to afford a classic American sports car. So he’d wind up with a base model C4, the other generation featured in the film. But why a Corvette? John is absolutely the kind of guy to see a car he half remembers from a film and go, “oh sweet! I always thought these were sick!” So that’s how he winds up with the most 1980s looking sports car a person can buy, complete with the shittiest malaise era small block Chevy had to offer.
June Egbert - 2000 V6 SN95 Mustang
Yeah, June gets a different entry because estrogen changes your taste in things. Unfortunately, June is still an Egbert and thus has terrible taste, which is how she winds up with this heavily used hunk of junk. Frankly, this choice is mostly down to how easily I can picture her big stupid grin as it wobbles down the highway with the top down. The interior is falling apart, but that’s just part of the charm. So is June’s complete inability to drive a rear-wheel drive sports car. Do not let her drive you somewhere.
Rose Lalonde - Mercedes 500e
In contrast to the Egberts, Rose actually has taste. Excellent taste. And nothing says taste like a Mercedes designed by the Maestro himself, Bruno Sacco. Just look at it. The subtle tear drop shape, the timeless styling, the brutal 5 litre V8. Wait, what? That’s right, this beautiful piece of German muscle is the Mercedes 500e. Rose can’t drive stick, which is perfect because this DOESN’T HAVE ONE. Unfortunately, she is like the Egberts in that she also shouldn’t be driving a rear drive car and, unlike June, this one actually has enough grunt to get the her sideways if it loses the rear. Good thing it has state of the art (for 1990) stability control.
Dave Strider - EG Civic
Nothing says “I created SBaHJ” like a clapped out EG Civic. Enough said, really. The FF drive train says “I know how to have fun on the cheap" while the bullet proof reliability says “I was raised in an unstable environment where I was responsible for meeting all of my own needs.” Also it looks cool. There are more ironic choices out there (PT Cruiser, looking at you), but even a shoddy craftsman needs dependable tools.
Jade Harley - 2002 Subaru Outback
Look, we all know that Subarus of this era are lesbian cars. But that’s purely incidental to this choice. Jade picked the Outback for its spacious cargo area and all-wheel drive capability. It’s the perfect car for the girl who wants to go anywhere and still have space to get laid. Sure it smells like dog, but it was like that when Jade bought the thing. Plus, she’s easily the most responsible driver out of the gang, so you’re gonna want her behind the wheel on any and all road trips.
Karkat Vantas - Shotgun in Dave’s clapped out EG Civic
Frankly, I don’t even know if Karkat’s legs are long enough to reach the pedals. Even if they are, he’s definitely never passing a driving test if he keeps swearing at the car, the other drivers on the road, the test administrator, and himself. He’ll never admit it, but he also just likes being a passenger. It’s nice not having the responsibility of keeping everyone in the car and around the car alive.
Terezi Pyrope - VW Polo Harlequin
Hey Claire, what the actual fuck am I looking it here? That, ladies and gentlemen, is a VW Polo. It’s like a Golf but smaller. Oh, you meant the colour scheme? What can I say, Germans are fucking weird. Just like Terezi Pyrope.
Kanaya Maryam - NA Mazda Miata
Look at it. Tell me that Kanaya would drive literally anything but this. You can’t. Everything about the original Miata perfectly compliments her. It’s elegant, light on its feet, and achingly beautiful. Like, picture it: Kanaya with her hair tied back with a kerchief, driving beside the ocean at sunset. It’s sophisticated in ways that the imposing 500e never could be. Rose would die to see her wife behind the wheel of one these things. Honestly, I might too.
Vriska Serket - Porsche 911 930 Turbo (Stolen)
To understand why Vriska drives a 930 Turbo, you first need to understand what a 930 is. The 911 is, in many ways, an anachronism. It traces its origin to the Porsche 356, itself a sports car built out of VW Beetle parts. As such, the 911 has its engine mounted behind the rear axle, which is also its only driven axle. This leads to unique handling dynamics. In corners, the weight of the engine initially pushes the 911 to understeer until it begins to pivot whereupon it will rapidly begin to oversteer. At this point, an inexperienced driver will lift off of the throttle. This is a mistake. The 911 has liftoff oversteer, meaning that it needs power to keep itself steady. Without power (i.e. lifting off the throttle) will cause it to spin. Now this is what 911s were like before Porsche strapped a big ol’ turbocharger to the engine. A turbocharger pushes more air into an engine which allows it to create more power. However, it cannot do this until the engine reaches a certain RPM. In older turbo engines, this power came on very suddenly. This characteristic of turbochargers combined with the already skittish nature of the 911 earned the 930 an infamous moniker: the Widow Maker. Liftoff oversteer + a sudden wallop of power a few seconds after you press the accelerator = a lot of dead yuppies. There’s no way in hell that Vriska fucking Serket isn’t going to be behind the wheel of the most dangerous car she can steal. It goes without saying, she drives exactly how you’d imagine Vriska fucking Serket would drive. Is she a good driver? Well, she’s not widowed Terezi yet, so…
Jane Crocker - Aston Martin V12 Vantage
For those who don’t know, the automotive prestige hierarchy looks like this: America (shitty quality, poorly engineered) < Korea (getting appreciably better lately!) < France + Nissan (respectable but weird) < Japan (legendary reliability at a budget price) < Italian (beautiful, vascular, so unreliable that it wraps around to being charming) < Germany (cutting edge engineering and reliable so long as you are meticulous with maintenance) < Britain (aristocratic class, respectable power, truly terrible build quality and worse reliability). Yeah, I know, it’s weird. But among those legendary British luxury brands is Aston Martin, notable for being the signature automotive marque for Agent 007. But that’s not why Jane drives a V12 Vantage. No, this car was her Dad’s dream car and he pulled some strings to get one for her for her sweet 16. She doesn’t really get why it makes him so happy, but it does. And it’s not like she’s complaining about how easy it is to overtake people on the highway with twelve cylinders of pure British gumption at your disposal.
Jake English - Jeep Wrangler YJ
Yeah. It’s the Jeep from Jurassic Park. And also Clueless. Come on, this is Jake English we’re talking about. Vriska? Vriska’s ride needs a whole history and vehicle dynamics lecture to appreciate. Not Jake. Not our man English. He drives a car from a movie. A car from TWO movies. *le sign*
Roxy Lalonde - Citroën DS
Look at it. This one is pure vibes. Roxy drives this weird, frog looking thing because she’s the kinda girlie who looks at a weird, frog looking car and thinks to herself, “ong look at this little guy this funky lil fella i gotta own em!” Fun Fact: people used to rally these things. Like. Off road. And they were pretty good too. Food for thought, I guess.
Dirk Strider - 1986 Toyota Pickup (yes it’s called that in the NA market)
On one hand, it’s ironic for philosopher rap prince to drive a pickup. On the other, the bed is really useful for hauling around robot parts, carrying dj equipment, and helping your friends move. Plus, the towing capacity means that when Jake’s stupid Jeep breaks down (again), he’s not stuck on the side of the road forever. He feels like a Japanese pickup is on brand for himself. Which is sort of ironic since a real ironic rap ninja eschews brand integrity. Idk, my brain doesn’t operate on irony levels high enough to comprehend this bullshit.
Callie - Shotgun in Roxy's DS
Unlike Karkat, Callie probably can drive. It's just that she likes it when Roxy drives her places. It basically takes two to figure out how to make this damn thing work anyway. The French were really on something when they designed this thing. Callie doesn't know what the French are, but if the DS is any indication, she's pretty sure they were a nation of madmen and possibly perverts.
#claire thoughts#hs#homestuck#you people better appreciate how much work this was#claire talks about cars
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When H/awks gets a voice message from D/abi, he doesn't have a clue what he's getting into. (Strongly implied kink!Hawks)
First H/otwings wav~ (and content at all~). It's nothing super big, just a little idea I've had for a bit, and I had time to throw something together~ Mayyybe the fact (most of) it's a voice message can forgive the quality issues? <3
#waterfallwav#I've been wanting to do another wav for a little bit#and finally got the house free to record!#i find their voices SO much fun#even if im not GOOD at them#i have a blast trying hahaha~#also wanna give a lil 'in-the-tags' thank you to people who have requested wavs#or given feedback to any of them!!#it really means so much to know people not only LIKE them#but care enough to say 'hey- heres my suggestion on what to work on to get better'#im the type to not realllly believe compliments (even tho i do APPRECIATE them)#so having someone (especially someone ID consider talented at it)#be like hey. this is how you can get better but its still good either way#that means the world to me <333#ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'll stop rambling in these tags hahaha~#you know who you are and if you see this- thank you <3#thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy!!#d/abi#h/otwings#h/awks
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some new C coloring pics from the past couple of days~~
(lineart + some shading done by me, colors by C)
#figured it'd be better if i start writing the credits again like what i did when i first started posting their submissions#once again a reminder that i have not been coloring these posts tagged with 'fan's colorings' theyre stuff done by other people!#anyway; C!! you've been improving a lot lately!!! it really is great to see#and ty for always including a small story along with your submissions i look forward to them every time :)#keep up the good work!!#fan's colorings#devil may cry#dante(dmc)#vergil(dmc)#nero(dmc)#trish(dmc)#also little side note for C:#i know you submitted one more thing!! i did see that one!!!!! and i love it you have no idea how much i like that page in the manga#but yknow.. its not my art so i figured i shouldnt post it JKHSDFHKAJSHA just know that i did see it and i appreciate it#anyway thats all ty for your continued effort to color my stuff <33 hope youve been learning a lot from these#allyart
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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hellooo! i'm new here on tumblr and i was just wondering if you had any good blog recs that are larry-related? i'm noticing that people on here have way more info than on twitter (as well as just being overall less confusing haha) so i wanted to check out some blogs to just make my experience in the fandom a bit better. thank you so much!!
Me trying to decide between being helpful and gatekeeping my favourite blogs:
Alright, the helpful side won, damn my parents for raising me to share and be kind.
So first off, quick disclaimer: please try your best to follow Tumblr fandom rules when going to these people and don't be rude to them because they're amazing and I love them so if you mess with them I will track you down and make Hell look like an all-expenses-paid trip to Ibiza.
Now that that's out of the way, here are my favourite blogs, the ones I check every day and got me through the research stage when I actually started to get involved in all things fandom:
@twopoppies: queen of fic recs, always has good discourse, her anons can be very sus sometimes so we keep an eye out for those, perfect mix of kind and sassy, wrote this absolute masterpiece that everyone should read and I couldn't resist mentioning
@daisiesonafield-blog: our lord and saviour, her blog is so organised it can only be the work of a witch because no ordinary human has as much patience as she does to keep it all so neat, pretty much every resource you could need as a Larrie can be found on her blog, it's like having your mom give you a little pamphlet with the location of every single item in your house cause you always forget that the red shirt is in the bottom left drawer. As if that wasn't enough, she's also smart, kind, and runs the @larrytimelines blog, so that really just proves my theory that she isn't actually real, just a figment of our imagination
@indiaalphawhiskey: the Biggest of all the Brains, she puts things you only vaguely imagine into coherent words, just God Tier theories and discourse that blow my mind every time I read them. She also wrote Our Lives, Non-Fiction which is fairly well-known on Twitter, at least in my circles, although my personal favourite is Barefoot In Blue Jeans. Overall, if it has words, she's amazing at it.
@awesomefringey: the nicest person I've ever had the pleasure of interacting with, and I sincerely admire her patience. Leading expert in all things thirst over Larry, but scrolling through her blog will also cause you breakdowns 9/10 times cause she's always putting Larry gifs on our dash. She's the dramatic aunt at family gatherings that'll sneak you vodka when your parents aren't looking while also offering to get you to bed when you inevitably get smashed.
@lesbianslovelouis: the SASSIEST and we LOVE IT, she says things like they are, no filtering, no bullshit, just so genuine and honest you can't help but love her. Also at the start of some very important discussions such as Louis' very soft elbows, the Broli secret relationship, and the "Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a cat" ongoing investigation. quick disclaimer tho, if you want to go to her blog, you better follow Tumblr rules and not be an obnoxious and entitled dick otherwise she'll eat you alive and I'll enjoy every second of it
@skepticalarrie: yet another one with a super-organised blog (seriously which demon did you make a pact with to keep it that nice? I don't understand how). Smart, smart, smart, I've been going through some of her lyric analysis from HS3 lately and it's just so well-done, it makes you see things you maybe hadn't noticed before but make SO MUCH SENSE. Also has a bunch of explanations for things that make us scratch our heads like the "Louis and Harry are mortal enemies" narrative
@genuinemusic: my go-to for all things HS3. Her analysis of AIW is an absolute masterpiece and I can't wait for the rest. Also so cool to read her first listens to the album cause you're already getting a taste for the analysis and I'm nothing if not a whore for deep thinking, it's the English student in me.
@cuethetommo: business queen, the best blog to go to for anything ticket-related, whenever I'm sad I just go through her ASK ME WHY I LOVE HARRY STYLES and MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY tags and then I'm good again. Also has a really organised blog, and her HARRY MERCH tag always makes me feel better when I get angry that Harry's merch honestly sucks
@hellolovers13: my big sister loml, they have the greatest fics (we beta each other's fics too so they're a big part of mine), number 1 niall fan, also a big taylor fan so obviously we love. just overall an amazing person that everyone should follow. they keep me updated on pretty much all things fandom bc I've been very out of touch lately lmao
@lovingstheantidote: literally an amazing blog, joins me sabine and co for thirst time, always has very good opinions and thoughts, and just such a sweet and lovely person (except for when we're thirsting in which case it's time to sin). 10/10 blog, love it
@ladychlo: another amazing blog that I check on the daily because they're just hilarious really and if they're not making posts that make me smash the reblog button, they're reblogging them themselves which makes for a very nice dash for me. a must-have, I would say
as for update accounts, the only two you need are @dailytomlinsonson and @stylesnews which also happen to be the larry love story of tumblr, we ship them so hard as we fucking should tbh
Those are the ones I keep up with the most, even tho there's tons of good people out there that you should definitely check out, so don't be afraid to just branch out on your own, check out random blogs, see if their blog is something you could keep up with.
Since you're from Twitter, there's one main thing you should know about this: NO ONE CARES ABOUT FOLLOWERS. We believe in curating your experience, so follow whoever you want, unfollow whoever you want, and don't worry about saying the wrong thing cause it won't bring in more followers. Tumblr is the best place for you to just be yourself without the fear of being judged or cancelled.
Edit: here is a list of general Tumblr guidelines, and here is a list more catered to the 1D/Larry side of things, I recommend reading both.
#libby answers#larry blog recs#blog recs#seriously all these people are awesome#but you better be good if you go to them#and don't try to change yourself or their blogs cause the vibes don't fit#if the vibes don't fit go vibe somewhere else#also enjoy me unabashedly gushing cause they deserve love and appreciation#they're the kind of people who should get paid#that's how much work they put into this
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It is funny sometimes seeing people get uppity about translators not doing exactly 1:1 translations of media, whether it be a book or a game or a series- and I get it from the perspective of say, 90s and 2000s anime adaptations that completely altered plot points, completely nixed entire lines of dialogue or alter characters enough that they were barely reminiscent of the original- think Sailor Moon and how the US dub censored anything gay in it. Those complaints I understand, completely.
And then with the advent of translating tools sometimes a company has pretty clearly been cheap or lazy and has just slapped it into an online translator and hodge podged it together, losing a lot of important details along the way, just to save on paying a proper translator and that is something I find absolutely shitty and extremely fair to point out- especially when it's a big corporation.
But the flipside people seem to forget is that sometimes there's not an exact word to translate to. Sometimes translations done to T will lose the humour or the feeling of the original so the translator will change it just enough to still get the expression across in a similar way as the original without bogging it down or losing its charm- localising something isn't always a bad thing as long as it overall stays true to the original. Translation is an art at the end of the day, sometimes whats on the page needs a little extra help to really pop, I have a lot of respect for the people who put in the effort.
#its like how when a novel gets translated the usually put the translators name on the cover too#bc sure they didnt create it but oftentimes they are /recreating/ in a way where they are helping to make it as bright as it should be#like i always remember reading this chinese novel that got translated by fans online and the difference between someone doing a 1 to 1#translation vs the person keeping everythinf important but altering the dialouge to be less stunted was wild#one was vaguely confusing and very flat to read and the other captured the story much better#bc the seocnd person was putting in the time to really express what was written#instead of just translating flatly#its like how theres whole sayings here in australia that even other english speakers dont get but someone can go 'oh they mean like x'#and then people will be like oh i get that!#i also liked when they'd put essentially a western variant of a phrase or joke in bc it matches in a similar way to the mandarin#but then in the notes theyd go into detail about what the direct translation was- what it meant- where it originated#so you still saw the direct translation and you got to learn something about x y or z thing#without it being awkwardly explained in depth#bc ultimately fiction can get bogged down very fast#so yeah thats my friday tangent#when people work hard to truly express whats being said rather than only show whats being said- i appreciate it 🫰#translation#localization
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Okay, obviously I have some body image issues. This is very clear to pretty much everyone who knows me. I have had them since I hit about 10 years old I think? That gives me 15 years of disliking the way I look, for one reason or another. I have tried a lot of things throughout that time to change my perception of myself. And currently, I feel like I am stuck in a weird place that I can't figure out how to escape.
I understand that there are studies now showing that dieting and working out don't actually work long term for most people. I know that getting into that mostly causes things like yo-yo dieting and circular weight gain/loss. I know that being fat is being shown to not actually be unhealthy in the ways it has often been shown as and perceived to be. I know that literally all the media everywhere is blasting me with idealized bodies that pretty much do not exist or only exist through extremely unsustainable/unhealthy means.
I have tried for so long to believe in and promote body neutrality or positivity for myself and other people. I constantly refuse to let myself think about what I see in the mirror or in pictures. I tell myself to get exercise for the physical and mental health benefits, not for my physical appearance. I try to view my body for what it can do and not how it looks. I tell myself to live the life I want to live now, rather than waiting to live it till I have the body I imagine living that life. Without exaggeration, I am fairly certain I think about these things every single day.
And none of it is working.
I actually feel I dislike my appearance now more than I did even a year ago. I feel like I am constantly noticing things about my body that I never did before or new changes to my body, and I am deeply uncomfortable with them. And I want to do something about it, and clearly simply changing my mentality isn't doing anything. I want to diet and exercise. But I also know it likely won't be a permanent change. I am concerned that I would give myself an eating disorder. And I'm also concerned that I would be feeding into diet/exercise culture. I am worried about hurting the people around me who are also fat. I am anxious about the fact that I am not actually that large so I don't want to talk about it with other people because I know it will make people who are larger than I am feel terrible. I don't want to make other people who are gaining weight feel bad for that. But, I hate the way I look.
This is not sustainable. At some point something will break and I think it might end up being my brain. I am worried about how that would end up. The things I do for my brain and my body shouldn't be about how it might affect other people, it should be for me. But I don't want to be bad for the things I do. I want and have wanted for so long to look like a powerbuilder/warrior/dwarf/strongman lifter/crossfit athlete/etc. I want to be big. I want to be visibly strong and powerful. And I am absolutely not. And I know I struggle with commitment and discipline and all of that, but I also know I struggle a lot with how this desire appears to other people.
Really, I think what this is all coming down to is other people's opinions. I dislike the way I look and am told that's bad. I want to change the way I look and I'm told that's bad. I do nothing and get told that's bad. I have to want these things for the right reason, in the right way, and have to talk about it right all the time. And I just can't. I don't like the way I look and I wish I looked like a brick shithouse and everyone else can fucking suck it.
#please if you know me irl don't read this and then tell me nice things about the way i look#i appreciate that you want to make me feel better but that's not what i'm looking for with this#i am mostly just trying to work out how i feel and what i want to do about it#and what my exact thoughts are about all of it#for example until writing that out i didn't even realize a big part of the circles i'm running in#are entirely about what other people think or how other people might perceive my actions#i am not telling other people to work out#i am not forcing people to go the gym with me#i actively don't want to make other people feel bad or do anything to disparage the choices they make#about their bodies#i do not want to starve myself#i don't want extreme 6 pack abs like people get from being dehydrated for movies#the things i want aren't unhealthy or unachievable (i don't think anyway)#i don't want them just because society thinks being fat is bad#it has a lot more with wanting to be strong and have muscles and not feel soft#than it does the number on the scale or any stretch marks or what size pants i wear#sure i watch superhero movies and wish i looked like them. but i am also aware i'm not fucking male#and my hip bones won't ever be that shape no matter how much i work out#so i would like to think that as a reasonably intelligent 25 year old i can figure out how i want to look#and not have it entirely be just because society told me to look like that#and that wanting these things doesn't make me some evil brainwashed asshole#i don't know that all of this is making sense anymore or actually making point i am trying to make. i'm tired#anyway. to wrap up. fuck other people. i don't have to listen to shit#and if i want to do push-ups and eat lots of protein and get hugeass biceps you can't stop me#and i'm not evil for not wanting my belly button to look like a circle and not a squished frown
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