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astringofmadhousefloozies · 3 years

Text

Slumber Party Massacree

Not a typo!

Yuu has a sleepover, and things go to shit. Second person, as always. Let me know if you liked it! And You can find more on my blog under the “twisted wonderland fanfiction” tag.

~*~*~*~

"Thank you for inviting me, Yuu."

"Thank you for coming, Mal. You too, Idia."

The tablet made a cheery ping as it hovered in the air.

Mal tilted his head as he inspected the strange object. "Why is it that you couldn't show up in person, and instead used this," he poked at the screen, "device?"

You said "Ortho maintenance night, can't be skipped" Idia said "Sleepovers mean touching hair and I don't know you that well," and Ortho, from some distance, said "I don't want her putting her hands on my brother," and you sputtered.

"I... see." Malleus sounded as serious as the grave. "At least you are present in some capacity. I do appreciate it."

You'd invited them both for a sleepover at your dorm, but only Mal was here in person. Ortho still hadn't forgiven you for laying hands on Idia, even if you both explained to him that you'd made up (vigorously), and he refused to allow Idia to come. You really needed to make up with him, or you wouldn't have even the beginning of a love life.

"How are we to begin? I understand there are... rituals involved with sleepovers."

"I mean, sort of. Like, pillow fights. Scary movies. Popcorn. Braiding each others hair."

"Lesbianism!"

You stared at Grim in horror. "We're missing a very important aspect for that, and also, no. Who taught you that."

"Your movies?"

“Shut.”

Malleus raised a hand, and thankfully did not ask what lesbianism was. "I would like to start with the scary movie."

You clapped your hands. "Perfect! I have a few."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu."

"Yes?"

"Deadites are not a real occurrence in your world, are they?"

"No, dear. They are entirely fictional." You swatted at the tablet as it issued a hissing laugh. "Don't make fun, you asked me if the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was real."

"That said it was a true story!"

It was going excellently, if you did say so yourself. Grim had his own little bowl of popcorn, watching the screen with rapt attention. Idia had synced his own file of the movie to play, although you were fairly certain he was paying more attention to some Fortnite equivalent or other. Mal had you splayed over him as you both lounged on the couch, watching the screen with curiosity as he stroked your hair. "If we are supposed to braid this, there is really not enough to properly do so. Shall I grow it for you?"

"What? no."

"A pity. You would look fine with hair to your ankles."

You lightly thumped his chest. "I would not. You've never seen me with my long hair. It was all split ends and hung like lead. At least like this, there's volume."

"I would keep it very healthy for you, if you ever decide to let it grow." He leaned his cheek on the top of your head, and switched from fussing with your hair to your earlobes. "These are very nice."

"You like them?" You'd gotten a set of tiny pearl studs from a "secret admirer" that you were fairly certain had sharp teeth and a streak in his hair. "They're pretty cute. I got more, too."

Mal hummed as he looked at them. "They suit you well. I don't see you with much else but earrings."

"They stay out of the way. Do you want to try any of mine on, later?"

"I am afraid I cannot, as I lack holes in my ears for them."

You sat bolt upright with a great idea.

~*~*~*~

"And this is safe?"

"Safer than Claire's." You'd already wiped his ear with peroxide, and done the same to a sewing needle. "I've done this dozens of times, and the only girl who got an infection went to the beach the next day and got it there."

"Was that Claire, then?"

"No, that's a store. Kitschy, little girl shit. They use a piercing gun and are legendary for giving people dreadful infections because they don't clean the gun properly. Their jewelry's cheap as shit at turns your skin green. Fantastic place, you'd love it."

"I'm still surprised that you simply did not grow the holes naturally."

"We don't work like that. We've been shoving things in out soft bits for forever."

Idia, through his tablet, wheezed, but otherwise didn't comment.

"And just think, my dude, you get one of the most authentic sleepover experiences ever. And you get to be sparkly!"

"I could sparkle plenty if I so chose." He turned towards you slightly, doubt on his face. "Only a small amount of blood?"

"Just a little bit. Beauty is pain, as Schoenheit would say. Deep breath now."

He obeyed, and as quick as you could, you drew the needle through his earlobe. He didn't bleed much - his blood had a curious oilslick sheen to it, and after sanitizing again, you placed a plain gold stud in. "One down! You want to see?"

He nodded heavily, and you held up a small hand mirror. The gold stud shone pleasantly in his ear, and his face shone with a sweet, childish wonder as he turned to you. "I like it very much."

And then he keeled over on top of you.

~*~*~*~

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO LORD MALLEUS?"

"I- DON'T- KNOW-" Sebek was shaking you furiously as Lilia peered over his charge and Silver tried to coax him into not giving you whiplash. "IT- JUST- HAPPENED-"

"Please do not arrest her I don't know how to break people out of prison-"

"He'll be fine."

Sebek dropped you to the floor and walked away. "Thank the seven! We must take him away from this assassin right away!"

"What was it?" You still felt like you were moving, though whether it was Sebek-caused dizziness or stress over hurting your friend was unclear.

Lilia held up the needle. "You used this, right?"

You nodded.

"What's it made of?"

"Steel?"

"What's steel?"

You thought for a moment, before you put your head in your hands and howled.

"YOU TRIED TO GIVE THE PRINCE IRON POISONING?" If he kept shaking you like this you’re going to wind up with a concussion.

"It was an accident please stop-"

"Ziegvolt, please. He'll be up in a few minutes, we can go and leave them all be."

"I refuse to leave him alone with her!"

"I said he'll be fine." Lilia came and clapped him in the shoulder. "We can go. Take Silver with you, he's already out."

He was, indeed, already out and asleep on one of the couches, peaceful as could be.

Sebek only left, cradling Silver to him, at the insistence of Lilia. Lilia, before he left, got on tiptoe and placed a kiss on your forehead, which you accepted with grace and more than a few sniffles.

"Honest accident, don't cry. Make sure he gets some water when he wakes up. Next time you try that, use gold needles, they clean easier and won’t make anyone sick, fae or not. I'll calm the kids down so it'll be all good. Play safe now." He tucked an old paisley handkerchief in your hand for your running nose and flew out the door, leaving you with an unconscious friend, another friend not present but in the midst of a panic attack, and a deeply annoyed not-cat. First things first.

Mal was fine, breathing regularly, on the floor with a few pillows to support his head. He looked a bit grey, but alright, otherwise. At least this wasn't a sleeping curse, while you loves Mal dearly you weren’t sure if friendship was the right kind of love to break- Lilia did the other ear for you, what the fuck.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fanfiction #malleus draconia

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