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awakeshedreams · 3 years

Text

sugar and spice ( 1 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school's resident bad boy.... Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don't like don't read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n : i've been fighting in a long standing war and I have lost. the man known as jeon jungkook had his foot on my neck for years and today, I have finally submitted to my fate and surrendered to his reign.

yes. after a hundred years, i'm writing again. specifically, writing for bts. particularly, writing for jungkook. its been a long time coming.

life just took over and I transitioned into an adult and kind of grew out of the state of mind I was in before. but. sigh. jeon jungkook has been tormenting me the whole time. it was only a matter of time before i relapsed honestly.

so here I am again. in mind, body and spirit, a different person from who I was before but still the same in the sense that with the way bts have my whole heart, jk will always be the demon in the corner of my room that I invite to bed for a cuddle even though it's (probably really) not good for me.

do not misconstrue. I love him more than I can say. but. sigh. he has me in a chokehold, loves. please try to understand where I'm coming from.

anyways, enough with this ranting. you all came here for the nitty gritty so let me not hold you hostage with my dilemma rambling any longer. here's to the first bts fic i've posted in literal years. introducing- sugar and spice.

1 2

Unless they told someone, no one would have been able to guess it.

At school they were complete strangers.

She was the nice head girl with a clean record, all smiles and straight A’s. He was the mysterious bad boy with a track record, all tatted up with bruised knuckles.

She wore plaid skirts with neat pleads in them and pastel sweaters with bows at the collar. He wore jeans with rips in them and leather jackets with studs.

They couldn't have been any more different.

As far as anyone was concerned, they existed on two extreme ends of a vast spectrum.

What they didn't know was that they shared a dirty little secret.

You were a girl with many dirty secrets.

For instance, you used to sell nudes online. It was a side hustle you did.

Not because you needed money.

Your mom was a renowned doctor so there was more than enough of that in your life.

Not because you needed validation from people online either.

Even without the constant compliments and the praises you knew you were visually blessed with a pretty face and a nice body too.

All things considered, you simply thought you had a nice pair of tits and you took pictures of them sometimes.

Posting the shots you snapped online came much later when you heard about this website where people were getting paid crazy money for posting racy things.

‘It’s just so degrading…’ It was one of your friends, June, who sneered, pretty nose scrunched up. She fixed her long ponytail and rolled her brown eyes while looking in the mirror at her locker. ‘Who would do such a thing, am I right?’

She said this, but June was the girl who has slept with more boys than she could count on her two hands. And those were the ones she told you about.

Like every other time, you said nothing. Even when it carried on to lunch with the rest.

‘Pretty desperate if you ask me.’ Mei the stellar track runner shrugged casually as she stretched her limbs like routine.

‘Where are their parents?’ Nina the library nerd shook her head in disapproval as she fixed her glasses so it sat right on the bridge of her nose.

‘Um… I don’t think it’s … appropriate… to talk about ….’ Kiko the one who always carried a cross and bible around mumbled into her sleeve.

All your friends spoke of it in derision and repulsion of course. This was a school for proper children so they were proper girls. At least they were supposed to be.

Regardless the conversation sparked a curiosity in you.

So you made an account and uploaded your first picture. Nothing bizarre. Just your tits in a pretty lace bra.

You made sure to keep your face out of the frame because that was the smart thing to do and you were nothing if not the smartest student in school.

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting anything out of it. In fact, in between work with student council and tutoring your juniors with finals right around the corner, you even forgot about it for an entire month.

It was by a complete whim that you decided to open the app while you’d been unwinding at your desk following a tedious day at school.

To say you were amused by the response you found waiting for you would have be a grave understatement.

You were staring at the four figure digit that now sat in your bank account.

Reading through the comment section was even more interesting.

There were all sorts of people there who had all sorts of things to say. Ranging from honestly sweet to downright dirty.

You had never been brought to tears laughing in her life before until then.

It was just so funny to see people misbehave and lose their minds over a pair of tits.

From then on it just sort of became a thing.

But that wasn't the worse of your secrets.

You were making a name for yourself on the crude web months later.

The next step was naturally to move from making taking pictures to making videos. Since you was already in too deep you didn’t see why not.

So you upgraded and opened another account. An amateur one where your touched yourself for an audience.

You were no prude.

You might have never been touched by a boy before but you had touched yourself plenty times. Stress and frustration came hand in hand with being head girl. Since you couldn’t quite vent it out at the annoying troublemakers at school, this was your second best option.

Third was watching porn, but that was mostly when you were extremely bored.

But that wasn’t where that little endeavor ended.

Later on it became a lot more risqué.

It all started when your mom hit you with a marriage announcement.

She met a guy on her business trip who she really liked and she was convinced he was the one.

Your mom had a tragic history of being a bad judge of character.

You’ve had this conversation at least five times since you became old enough to understand that boys and girls who were just friends didn’t kiss and sleep with each other.

Most times, it felt like she was doing it because she thought you needed a dad around.

You might have once, when you were younger and your mom was too busy with work to be there. But she worked from home these days and you were soo busy with school to worry about things like that.

This time it was like she was doing it for her. You were glad.

Your mom looked genuinely happy when she spoke about this guy.

Who were you to get in the way?

She spent almost the whole weekend in the kitchen. It was the longest you’ve seen her in there in your entire life.

She was excited for the dinner on Sunday.

Mr Jeon was the name of the chosen man.

He was coming over with his kid. A son, his only family. His wife passed away years ago.

You wore the dress your mom picked out for you, something cream in color and off the shoulders that brushed your knees. She looked pretty in her champagne dress. It was different from the office slacks and loose blouses you were used to seeing her in.

You stood by her at the door while the guests came through.

Lifting your head from a polite bow, you found herself staring straight into an achingly familiar pair of glinting dark eyes and went completely still.

‘Sweetie,' Your mother said sounding delighted, a soft hand on your stiff shoulder. 'This is Mr Jeon and his son Jungkook.’

Ah. Fuck.

‘Jeon dear, this is my daughter. Isn’t she lovely?’

Dinner was a mild affair, with small talk and the occasional clinking of cutlery on fine china.

From the outside looking in, you probably looked the picture perfect family already.

Only if no-one looked close enough.

Arms crossed, tongue in cheek. Your discomfort could be detected from miles away.

The two adults were oblivious.

The dark eyed boy with the slightest wave to his nape touching, brow grazing, ear covering onyx hair sat across you though; he took note of this with a passing glance and wordlessly returned to his food.

Jeon Jungkook had a countenance that betrayed his reputation.

Even though you’ve never talked, you knew plenty about him and you were sure he knew a lot about you too.

You went to the same school.

Dressed as he was in a crisp white dress shirt buttoned at the wrist and dark tailored pants with a fine belt on, it might have been hard to tell what kind of person he really was.

You lifted her gaze from your plate to look study him wordlessly, idly twisting the noodles with your fork.

People either called him the black sheep or the dark cloud but for you, Jeon Jungkook was the school’s resident lone wolf.

He smoked in the secluded areas on campus, sometimes playing his guitar. Beat up people who got on his nerves, sometimes using his guitar. Slept in class the rare times he was there, many times on his guitar.

Being his senior, you had never seen any of any of that for yourself. But you received plenty reports weekly to come to a sound conclusion.

There was no way people hated him enough to join hands in solidarity and make this all up.

It was quite the contrary actually. He had an alarming number of fans.

On the surface level you couldn’t see why. Most times you saw him, he looked bored out his mind and honestly, intimidating.

Maybe it was the tattoos. Or the ripped skinny jeans. Or the leather jackets with studs.

Maybe it was the domineering height and fit frame and structured face.

Maybe it was the intense dark eyes or the silky ruffled hair.

Even then, you failed to see the irresistible appeal in him. All those things that made him up only added to his unapproachable aura.

Bottom line was, he was bad news.

You didn’t want to be a spoil sport.

But how much of a thug your mom’s boyfriend’s son was shouldn’t be something that would make her like him less.

They were both their own people. Right ?

It was just that you just didn’t want her to be shocked and devastated if something happened later. When it happened.

Yet it seemed the serious conversation would have to wait.

After dinner your mom suggested you head to the living room to chat over wine and cheese.

You stayed back to do take out the dishes.

Earlier, your mom had stood to do it instead at first.

‘Don’t bother with that, dear.’ She reached for the plates in your hands. ‘Let me do it.’

‘It’s okay, mom.’ You smiled a little. ‘This is your night. I’ll meet you in the living room.’

'Sweetie...' Your mom looked close to tears. ‘But there’s so much of it…’

‘Jungkook,’ his father's voice had cut through the moment. He was a serious man in a crisp suit with a stoic countenance. His voice was just naturally authoritarian without him trying ‘Give her a hand.’

Jungkook stood, almost robotically.

‘It’s fine.’ You said. Politely. Nicely. Tightly. ‘I can handle this much.’

You left without another word.

That had been moments ago and now you were done with cleaning.

You stood at living room entrance for a while, taking in the scene.

The two adults were exchanging moon eyes and whispering in each other’s ears at the love seat.

Jungkook was sitting on a solo seat, but he was on his phone, completely unbothered by what was happening.

Your mom seemed to think it was the perfect time to pull out the photo album right then and there upon seeing you.

It was embarrassing but at least you knew you didn’t have to worry about the pictures spreading at school.

Jungkook was looking, picking up a picture occasionally to rove over, but he wasn’t the type to do that.

He also wasn’t the type to stare but you felt his glance shifting to you and lingering multiple times.

Once, you caught his eyes and he just stared at you across the coffee table wordlessly with a curious tilt to his head, idly flipping a picture of you dressed as a knight in glitter shining armor for Halloween at eight in his hands.

Honestly, it was starting to get annoying.

But you endured. For your mom’s sake.

Your alarm went off at exactly ten.

As subtly as you could, you excused yourself with an apology to the guests, saying you weren't really feeling well.

In hindsight you probably should have used a better excuse.

Your mom was notorious when it came to worrying, especially when it comes to your health.

Also, you probably should’ve locked the door before undressing just for good measure since people were over.

But in the moment, you were too busy setting your camera up where you were kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed to be concerned about that.

That day you were testing out a new toy.

Distractedly, you took note of a couple of people asking you if that was your boyfriend’s shirt you had lifted over your tits.

You ignored them.

Couldn’t a girl own an oversized tee without getting any flack?

Trivial comments like that aside, a good majority of the audience are fawning over how wet you were and how perfect you bouncing tits look being played with.

Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered shut.

You were sitting there, knees raised to your chest and legs splayed, your gushing pussy in full display where the toy was stuffed deep into her tightness, vibrating pleasantly.

‘I’m close…’ you mumbled throatily, squeezing your tits and pinching your stiff nipples in between your moving fingers. You moved your hips move faster, feeling the toy buzz against fluttering walls. You took a hand off one of your tits to rub at your engorged clit. ‘Fuckfuckfuck…’

Deep in your high, you didn’t hear the door open and close with a foreboding click.

You only heard your name being called by a deep, smooth voice through the heady haze.

Instantly you stilled.

When you snapped your head to look over her shoulder Jungkook was there, hands in his pockets, leaning against your doorframe with his sleeves drawn up to his elbows, muscle roped, inked skin on full display.

When he tilted his head to the side a little, appraisively, you dared to say as a quaking chill ran down your spine and your entire body felt like it was about to burst into flames, a bit of his hair fell over his face.

His eyes were like two black in the dark as he took you in, dragging his gaze up and down your exposed body languidly.

In the back of your mind, you wished the ground would part and swallow you whole.

‘Your mom,' he starts, capturing your attention wholly, dark gaze finally flickering to your face, his voice suddenly lower, hoarser. ‘She sent me over to check on you.’

It took you a moment to realize where you were, who you were, who he was.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped over your head.

Jeon Jungkook, the school's resident trouble maker, soon to be your step brother, just walked in on you fingering yourself in in front of a recording camera.

Well. Yeah.

You gulped.

You were royally fucked.

depending on the response I get I might ( most probably will ) delete this. not because I'm ashamed of my work. because I'm embarrassed of myself. I really swore to never write again and here I am. sigh. yes, I have seen my previous works and noticed just how terrible they were and this is a big reason why. so sorry for putting you through that. a million apologies.

also, that's right. I have adopted a new style which might not be to everyone's liking. another reason why.

anyways, if you liked this filth ( i know it seems mild but I can tell you it's very likely gonna get worse ) please idk uh... fuck this isn't ao3. hm.

like and drop by in the ask box if you liked it and want to see more. it makes me happy. its like serotonin fuel to me.

have a nice day. see you next time ( maybe ). stay fresh. yeah. 💜💜.

#bangtan #bts #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts smut #bts au #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts high school au #jungkook high school au

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arrow-guy · 4 years

Text

Struck By Night (5/??)

Summary: Fate has a funny way of pulling people together. Whether or not that’s a good thing, only time will tell.

A/N: Hi, it’s been over a year since this fic was last updated, but we’re bringing this bitch back because I still love vampires and Tony Stark. Hope you guys have fun with the Drama lmao

Pairing: AvengersxReader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings:

Part 4

I sit on the couch in the common area, a mug of scalding hot tea clutched in my hands. I stare into the fire blazing in the hearth and sink into the cushions as best I can.

“I thought you didn't like human food.”

Startled, my body jerks when I tear my eyes away from the fire and tea sloshes over the side of the mug, onto my bare hands. I hiss in pain and jump up from the couch, shaking the tea from my hands. Tony stands behind the couch, his eyes wide.

“I don't usually. Tea helps me warm up, though. Especially in the middle of winter.” Tony reaches out for the mug and I hand it to him. “Tea isn't much of a food though is it?”

He sets the mug on the counter and grabs a dishtowel from the fridge handle. “I guess not,” he says. “Sorry I snuck up. Didn't mean to startle you.”

I take the towel from him and wipe my hands off before moving on to dab at the spots on my pant leg.

“It's fine, I should have been paying better attention.” I dab at the wet spot on my knee a little before giving up. “What’s up?”

“Bruce told me about your idea to create a blood substitute that would be viable both for human use and a food source for you.” Tony shakes his head. “You think we could do it?”

I shrug and plop down on the couch again. “Do you? Because Dr. Banner seems interested in at least trying.”

Tony takes a seat at the opposite end and folds one leg under himself so that he can face me.

“It's not that I don't think it can be done, we're literal geniuses. The time in which we have to do so is what worries me. You only have so much Hydra blood. It won't last forever. What are your options when it runs out if we don't finish in time?”

“I'm no stranger to rationing food, Tony. I've already started planning out meals so that there won't be any hunger issues along the way. If I get a little light-headed I'll stay in my room.” I scratch my cheek. “Even if it doesn't work for me, as long as it's a viable option for humans, it has to be worth it, right?”

He nods slowly. “You are so much different than I thought you’d be.”

My lips quirk up into a smile. “So you’ve said.”

“I’m serious. I can’t seem to figure you out. Just as soon as I think I’ve got all the information, Barnes or Rogers throw out some new shit or you come out of left field with something like sucking dick to stay fed.”

I burst out laughing. “I never said that I actually did that, just that it happened. But, I aim to surprise, Tony. And if I can surprise you, maybe my work here is done.”

“Oh, don’t go! We’re just getting to know each other.”

“Mmm, there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.” I shiver and wrap my arms around myself.

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I’m just cold, is all. It happens.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Unless you want to cuddle, probably not.” I sigh and push myself up from the couch. “It may be best for me to just go curl up in bed.”

“Alright.” His eyes follow me as I pour my tea down the drain and head for the hallway. “Tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn up the thermostat when you get there.”

I shoot him a smile and pull my hoodie tighter around me. “Thanks, Tony. Really. For everything.”

He smiles but waves me off. “Nothing to thank me for, (Y/N), I just want you to be comfortable.”

I shake my head and turn down the hallway with a smile playing at my lips. For as much as Tony has done for his team, and even for me, he doesn’t quite seem to know when or how to give himself credit.

I shuffle into the lab around 2 pm and find Bruce and Tony hunched over a single tablet. I plop down onto a stool across from them. Neither look up.

“Morning,” Tony greets.

“It’s not morning,” I mumble. I lean on the table with my chin in my hand.

“Did you ever get warmed up last night?”

I nod. “I did, thanks. The vent is right over my bed. It was really nice.”

“I’m glad.”

“Mmm,” I hum. “What have you two been up to today?”

“We’ve been looking into your blood substitute,” Bruce answers.

“Oh?”

“We know that no one has been able to successfully do anything like this, so if it works, it could completely change the world.”

“But?”

“But there’s no way to know whether or not it would be a viable source of food for you.”

I shake my head. “Fine. If you can figure out a way to make something that can help other people, you should do that. You could change the lives of people with chronic anemia, sickle cell, dialysis patients, and millions of others. It’s worth it just for that.”

“I almost forgot you were a nurse for a moment,” Tony says.

“I’d thank you to remember that I’m more than just a vampire, Mr. Stark,” I say. I smirk when his eyes widen. "Anyway, where were you thinking of starting? I'm assuming that you're looking at artificial hemoglobin, at the very least."

Tony laughs. "Yes, actually. That's exactly what we were thinking."

"Perfect. I haven't been able to run tests myself, so I can only guess, but I believe that that is the one thing that my body metabolizes when I take in blood. On a base level, it holds the most nutritional value."

"It's a protein, so that would make sense," Bruce says. "Outside of baseline volume replacement, it's the one thing that's been hardest to reproduce for any kind of artificial blood supplement.”

I nod. “That would make sense.”

“I think we need to have a backup plan,” Tony says. “Just in case this doesn’t work out, where will you be getting blood?”

“I don’t know. Somehow I doubt it’d be as easy as crashing a bunch of Hydra parties and draining them for fun afterward.” I run my fingers over my lips as I think. “I guess I’d have to go out into the city and see if I can pull anything.”

Tony pulls a face. “If you have to.”

“Well it’s not like you guys want to be my blood bags, now do you? Mass anemia isn’t exactly ideal, especially in a team of Superheroes.” I bite my thumbnail, brows pulling together. “I’m not sure how enhanced blood would even affect me. I’m not sure it’s really something I want to experiment with.”

“Sounds like college,” Tony says.

“I know you’re trying to make a joke,” I say. “But do you have any idea what happens when you mix something like me with the biological material of someone like Doctor Banner? Hell, even Steve could be a risk.”

“She’s right, Tony,” Bruce admits. “You remember my cousin Jennifer?”

“Yeah, health problems a while back, right?”

“Yeah. I was the only one who could give her blood. Now she’s the greenest lawyer in all of New York.”

“Shit.”

“Now do you understand?” I ask. “There are too many variables, and I’m already enough of a danger as is.”

“I think you’re putting a little too much pressure on yourself there, (Y/N),” Tony says. “If you were a danger to us, you would’ve bit one of us already. Your self-control, from what I’m guessing, is off the charts. When you start sneaking around and nibbling on our necks, then I’ll consider you a danger.”

“I think you’re letting inexperience cloud your judgment.”

Tony stares at me. “What’s your hangup with this?”

“What I am, at the core, is dangerous. If there’s one misstep, I could seriously hurt someone, potentially myself if it comes down to isolation.” I shake my head. “It’s not a hangup, Tony. It’s being self-aware. I’ve seen too many good people hurt when they trust a monster.”

“You’re not a monster.”

“Hah! Cute. That’s really cute. But I’m not going to debate the definition with you, because I suspect we have very different experiences with it.”

“(Y/N),” Bruce says. “I’m sure he didn’t mean-”

“Bruce, don’t. Please. Just don’t.” I look between the two of them. “Look, if it doesn’t work for me, keep going with the project. It’ll help a lot of people.”

Bruce nods and I give a tight-lipped smile before excusing myself from the lab.

I run into Steve on the way down the hall and I just barely manage to sidestep him before crashing into him.

“What’s the rush, (Y/N)?” he asks.

“Sorry,” I shake my head. “I need to go back to my room. Clear my head.”

He follows after me and places his hand on my shoulder. I turn to face him and he stoops to look me in the eye. “You okay?”

I sigh. “I’ll be very honest, Steve, I’m tired.”

He nods and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “I’ll walk you back.”

I roll my eyes. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t, but I’m gonna because I want to.”

“You gonna tell me why you were in such a hurry to get away from the lab?”

I crawl onto the bed and sit with my back against the wall. “It’s overwhelming.”

“The lab?” Steve sits in the reading chair in the corner. “It can be. I figured you’d be used to that kind of stuff, though.”

I shake my head. “Not the lab. Working with Tony.”

“Ah.”

“He’s just… a lot, y’know? And we butt heads like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes it feels like we were made to contradict each other.”

“And other times?”

“Other times it’s like someone else takes over and it’s so easy to talk to him. Like there’s something there.” I wring my hands. “Scares the shit out of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m practically immortal. I’m not… I don’t like attachments.”

“You’re attached to Buck ‘n’ I.”

“Neither of you have aged in the past eighty years. I’ve got more in common with you two than I do him.”

Steve shrugs. “Nothing’s happened yet.”

“Very true.” I frown. “Do I even want something to happen? And there’s no saying that he feels the same connection.”

“That’s right.”

“Who’s to say he’d want it anyway?” I laugh. “There I go, worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet. Not to mention things that would probably never happen to begin with.”

“It sounds like you’re talking yourself into and out of something,” Steve says.

“Better to do it now than later, right?” I let my head fall back against the wall and laugh. “Oh man, I’m fucked.”

Steve laughs. “In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never talked like this.”

“What, the cursing?”

“No, like you have a crush on someone.”

“Well, Steven, when we were last around each other we were also around a bunch of grimy, rank, disgusting soldiers and SSR officers who were either skirt chasers, or women who weren’t exactly my type. Not to mention we were in the middle of a literal war. There wasn’t time for this… this-” I gesture wildly. “Mess.”

“Not even after the war?”

“No, I was pretty focussed on staying alive and off the government's radar, not to even mention S.H.I.E.L.D.’s. It was hard enough getting away from the SSR after the war, after Peggy took over, it got harder.”

“So you’ve been on the run for the better part of seventy years.”

“Pretty much, yeah.” I sigh. “Pretty sure this is the most time I’ve had to relax since you went into the ice, and I’m certain that should be a joke because being here is anything but relaxing.”

Steve snorts. “All things considered, it’s been relatively quiet since we dragged you in.”

“I’ve noticed.” A knock sounds at the door and I sit forward to see who’s there. “Yeah?”

The door opens and Tony appears in the entryway.

“Hey,” he says.

“What’s up?” I ask.

Tony glances at Steve. “Could I talk to you alone?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Steve grins at me and I flip him off.

Steve laughs. “I’ll be going.”

Tony watches him go and turns back to me. “What was that about?”

“We were just talking.” I lean forward and pat the bed. “Have a seat, Stark.”

He plops down on the bed and braces himself with one arm. “So.”

“So…” I fold my arms. “You wanted to talk?”

“Right.” He sighs. “I want to apologize for what I said in the lab. It was insensitive and I wasn’t thinking.”

I blink slowly, surprised. “What?”

“I’m apologizing.”

I wave off his apology. “No, I heard that part, I just don’t get why. I was abrupt and ran away. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”

“I brushed off your concern, (Y/N). And they were valid concerns.” He pauses for a moment. “I want to know more about what you are. I want to understand how we can help you, even if this little project doesn’t work out.”

“I… really?”

“What, you think I can’t recognize when I need to step back and learn something?”

“N-no, it’s just a lot of shocking content for one day is all. It’s a lot to process.”

“I get it,” he says. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. We can sort something out.”

“No, it’s fine.” I bite my thumbnail before looking Tony in the eye. “Where do you want to start?”

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you liked this installment, please leave a response or shoot me an ask! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

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longhairpidge · 7 years

Text

the warmest color

an allurance fic

words: 2.3k read it on AO3! summary: Lance understands why Allura is afraid to let her guard down around anyone, even Blue. In the middle of an intergalactic war, there’s no room for vulnerability or weakness. But he wants her to know that it's okay to open up.

a/n: A birthday fic for my lovely friend Erin (@voltrash)!!! Happy happy belated birthday and I hope you enjoy this love! Special shoutout to @breeeliss and @flusteredkeith for inspiring me with the idea for this fic and for being great cheerleaders 💙💗💙💗

Despite being treated to a tasty dinner courtesy of Hunk and finally beating Pidge at Killbot Phantasm Five, Lance still feels out of sorts.

If he’s honest with himself, it’s because things are still a little weird, as much as he’d like to pretend otherwise. Nothing seems quite right, and Lance isn’t quite sure how to handle it.

Shiro’s back, but it seems like whatever happened out there while he was gone has taken more of a toll than anyone realized. He almost seems like a stranger.

Keith, too, is subdued. Though Lance has noticed him start to embrace his leadership skills, he still seems ambivalent about his role as the new Black Paladin, especially since the Black Lion rejected Shiro upon his return.

On the surface, everything seems like it should be fine. But Lance knows better. Like placid looking water with a vicious current flowing underneath, Lance knows that there’s always a risk of being pulled into the riptide.

And though he knows that the many changes that have taken place over the past few months have officially deigned him the Red Paladin, he lets his feet lead him to Blue’s hangar instead.

When he gets there, he finds that he is not the only one seeking comfort from Blue’s warm, familiar presence.

Allura turns around as she hears his footsteps and her eyes widen with surprise.

“Lance! What are you doing here?”

He smiles and waves. “Just wanted to say hi to Blue here. It’s been awhile since I talked to my favorite lady.”

“Careful, Lance. Do you really want to risk the chance of angering the Red Lion?”

“Nah. Everyone knows Keith is still Red’s favorite. I can’t compete with Mullet-head,” Lance responds with an easy shrug.

Allura rolls her eyes. “Will you ever stop making fun of his hair?”

“Never,” replies Lance emphatically. “Not until he changes that outdated style.”

He grins as she laughs in appreciation. “You’ll never change, will you?”

They fall into an amiable silence.

“So...did you come here to talk to Blue?”

Allura bites her lip and looks down with a small sigh.

“Not exactly...I came here in hopes of bonding with the Blue Lion, but I’m afraid I’m not making adequate progress.”

“What are you talking about? I’ve seen you out there— you’re doing great. You’re picking up things way faster than I ever did when I was starting out. You’re a real natural.”

Allura smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Thank you, but I don’t mean in terms of combat. You see, I still feel disconnected from the Blue Lion. I do feel that I have made some progress, but not nearly enough. I still lack the sense of ease you had with her, and well— I was hoping to try again tonight.”

She falters, and Lance feels a pang of sympathy thrum inside his chest.

“Do you...have any suggestions?”

He looks more closely at Allura, taking in details he hadn’t noticed before. She’s wearing an expression that’s equal parts frustration and determination, her restless hands and feet betraying her impatience at her perceived lack of improvement, though she’s clearly making an effort to look composed in front of him.

Despite everything, it’s clear that she’s still nervous about where she stands with Blue, and it’s obvious that her anxiety about being a successful paladin is getting in her own way.

Lance wants to help. He wonders if there’s an easy way to help Allura figure out how to let her guard down.

“Well, okay, so...Blue loves listening to you talk about your day. She doesn’t judge.”

Allura frowns. “How do you mean?”

“She likes it when you’re open and honest with yourself. She’s happy to see you, you know? She just wants to know what’s on your mind. You can cuddle right up to her and complain about things going wrong or whatever.”

“I don’t understand...is it essential to discuss my weaknesses with her to strengthen my bond with her? My father never mentioned anything about this.”

“No, no! That’s not it. Blue is like...a giant cat friend. Honestly, if you’re ever upset, just spend an hour just lying on her paws and venting. You’ll feel so much better afterward. She’s a great listener.”

“I’m not sure...I usually reserve such private topics for Coran. Shouldn’t I try to make sure my time with Blue is productive?”

“Trust me, Princess. Blue will understand.”

Allura still looks uncertain.

If Lance is perfectly honest with himself, it’s not hard for him to understand why she is afraid of opening up to anyone, even Blue. It’s a sense of self preservation borne of constant danger; in the middle of an intergalactic war, there’s no room for vulnerability or weakness.

It’s essential to preserve team morale, to present a composed presence in front of everyone and to inspire and lead.

But nobody can be infallible 24/7, especially a paladin on the front lines of battle.

Allura might not be human, but it doesn’t make her a goddess, even though she looks like one.

He still remembers the panic in her voice when they were lost in Thayserix. She might have ultimately been the one who ended up rescuing all of them, but he will never forget the sheer desperation he could feel emanating from her very core.

Though Lance knows there’s not much he can personally do to keep that from ever happening again, he wants to do what he can.

“Hey,” he says, placing his hands on her shoulders. “You can do this. You’re the Blue Paladin. She chose you for a reason. She believes in you.”

Allura nods slowly. “Okay.”

“So you have to believe that she’ll be there to catch you if you fall.”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow what you’re trying to say.”

Now is the time Lance wishes he had Shiro’s innate ability to both teach and motivate, or Pidge’s particular skill in distilling complicated concepts into easily digestible ideas.

What used to make things so smooth and easy with Blue was the fact that he could rely on pure instinct to tell him what to do next, because Blue always met him halfway. As long as he followed his intuition, she helped him figure out the next step.

Lance isn’t sure how to put this into words.

But then, it occurs to him that maybe— maybe he can teach by example.

He moves away from Allura and turns his gaze to Blue.

“Hey girl, it’s been a long time. I miss you. Do you miss me?”

He looks back to Allura, who is staring at him quizzically.

“Are you waiting for her to answer?”

Lance shakes his head and presses a finger to his lips.

“Nope. I’m giving you a demonstration.”

He turns back to Blue.

“I’m doing my best to move on. Red moves like a dream...flying her, I understand why it’s Keith’s favorite thing to do. But it’s not the same. And I know it’s important to move on, but everything still seems a little off, and I still don’t feel comfortable talking to Red about it. I don’t want her to think I’m whining or that I’m ungrateful for being chosen to be her new paladin. But it’s weird, you know? I’m not even wearing her colors. I’m wearing yours. And a big part of me just wants things to go back to the way they were.”

Lance starts to pace, feeling Allura’s eyes boring into the back of his head as he circles around the hangar.

“But that would mean taking Allura’s place, and I’m not okay with that either. So I’m going to figure out how to work through these feelings, even though it won’t be easy. What do you think?”

He stops back in front of Blue, who remains as silent as ever.

Allura looks back and forth between them, brows furrowed.

“Now what?” she finally asks, arms akimbo.

Lance smiles and moves behind her, spinning her around to face Blue and placing her hands against the cool metal of Blue’s front paws.

“Now you try. Just look up at her and tell her how you feel.”

This close, he can feel the warmth emanating from Allura’s cheeks, and though he’s standing behind her and can’t see them, Lance is sure they’re flushing the prettiest shade of pink.

But he refrains from saying anything to call attention to them; now is not the right time to ruin Allura’s moment with some dumb pickup line.

He lets go of her hands and falls back, watching quietly as she takes a deep breath and releases the tension in her shoulders.

“Hello, Blue. I must admit I’m not sure what exactly to say to you, but I’m told this will help us strengthen our bond.”

Allura pauses and looks down. “I think that is what frightens me the most. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know the right answer. And I don’t know what’s going to happen. I have far less experience as a paladin than the others. What if I take the wrong step? What if there are dire consequences? The team will suffer and I will be directly responsible for it. But I know that these fears are irrational. I know I am not alone, and that even though I may not always make the right decisions, my fellow paladins will be there to support me.”

She turns to face Lance, and his heart skips a beat at the earnestness in her gaze.

“I must learn to believe in my own courage, and— learn not to be afraid of falling. Will you help me get there?”

He manages to reply with a strangled “Of course, Princess,” before he remembers she is talking to Blue and not him.

Allura doesn’t seem to mind.

She laughs, radiating joy. “Thank you. I don’t know why, but I think you were right. I do feel a little closer to the Blue Lion now.”

Lance feels a sense of sheer contentment and pride at her accomplishment. He knew she had it in her. She always has.

And then her face turns pensive.

“Lance…”

“Yes?”

“I feel that you are nervous about something. What is it?”

And there it is. The elephant in the room he had prayed in vain that she wouldn’t notice.

“Oh, uh...nothing special,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck. “Probably just all the stress. I haven’t had time to do a facial for at least a week and it’s killing me.”

It’s a lie. Lance knows exactly what she’s talking about, though he hasn’t even spared a moment to let himself actually hope about his chances.

“I know there must be a reason why you came to the Blue Lion’s hangar. It could not have been just to help me. I distracted you from your main purpose.”

It is so much easier to flirt with pretty aliens fawning over a heroic figure they don't actually know than to face the possibility of truly falling in love with someone he doesn’t even deserve.

“To be honest? I’m not sure I can put it into words.”

Allura’s expression is pure concern now, and he can’t take it. He can’t even look her in the eyes.

And yet— what kind of a paladin is he if he can’t even summon the courage to tell the woman he loves how he really feels about her? Regardless of how she reacts, she deserves to know the truth.

Allura watches Lance quietly as he twists his hands and avoids her eyes. He wonders if she can hear his heart beating as loudly in his chest as he can. He wonders if he, too, can gather the courage to share how he really feels—

And then Hunk’s voice comes echoing into the hangar through the rafters.

“Lance? Lance! Where are you? Coran says it’s your turn to clean out the healing pods and I am not covering your shift again!”

He groans, mourning the loss of their privacy. But duty calls.

Still, Lance feels the urge to confess like a shuddering ache in his chest, pressing against his heart, the words ready formed, waiting to fall from his tongue.

Now is his last chance to leave before he says something he can’t take back.

“So hey, I’ve gotta go, but I hope you’re feeling better. Things will turn out the way they’re supposed to. All you need is a little faith in yourself and—.”

“Lance,” Allura interrupts, her voice is simultaneously gentle and commanding at the same time.

The spark of the paladin bond flows between them as she places her hand on his shoulder to keep him from leaving, and he can feel a thousand unspoken words floating in the space between them.

So he stays.

And tucks his hand underneath her chin and slowly lifts it up.

“If it makes a difference, you still rock my world.”

Allura’s eyes are clear and bright.

She says nothing, but the smile on her face as she closes the distance is louder than any words.

And so Lance finally leans in, slowly, gently, not allowing himself to even consider the chance that she might still push him away.

A soft, nervous giggle escapes from Allura’s lips as he moves closer, but her eyes are fluttering shut and she’s pressing her hands against his chest and the air is sweet and warm as his lips brush against hers and his brain shorts out before he even has a chance to marvel in the fact that she really wants him too.

It briefly occurs to Lance that he's going to get in big trouble for skipping cleaning duty yet again.

But while he's wrapped in the arms of the girl of his dreams, he finds it hard to care.

#allurance #lanllura #vld lance #vld allura #vld fanfic #priya writes

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