#yes im actively sobbing rn
Text
spotify wants me DEAD
#spotify#my chemical romance#mcr#my chemical fucking romance#potato quality#im sorry#ray toro#gerard way#mikey way#frank iero#the ghost of you#disenchanted#the light behind your eyes#yes im actively sobbing rn#mcr rox
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good riddance !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them pretending that they weren't each other's everything.
or
for when you're too hurt to regret anything. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
social media au // daniel ricciardo x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - hello!!! i hope u like this one!!! thank u so much for reading, i love you <3 just a note, that i will probably not be posting next week bc i have exams but i will be active here so ! if u message me, i'll probably reply, i hope so anyways lol <3
≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by landonorris, lilymhe, carmenmmundt and 779,617 others
yourusername taylor was so right when she said "oh my love is a lie" bc fr love IS a lie
7,927 comments
username she gets it
username oh this speaks VOLUMES
username bestie u should've just tagged him at this point
username i will never be getting over them u don't get it they were my PARENTS
username girl is heartbroken but still slaying
*liked by yourusername*
username i miss u and danny so much 💔💔💔💔💔💔
lilymhe kids remember to drink rat poison before you fall in love because it never works out!!!
-> yourusername so true gf
-> alex_albon ???
-> lilymhe no babe look away
-> username poor alex omg 💀💀💀
username TAYLOR SWIFT ALWAYS RIGHT
*liked by yourusername*
username im a child of divorce what the fuck
username hits different ://///
username the highkey shade 😭😭😭
landonorris we miss you!!!
-> maxverstappen1 who's we
-> yourusername i will steal jimmy and sassy again don't test me maximus
-> maxverstappen1 for fuck's sake that's NOT my full name
-> yourusername ok maximus.
-> username OH THANK FUCK 🙏🙏🙏 i genuinely thought her friendship with everyone would be all fucked up but im so happy to see this ❤️❤️❤️
-> username they're so precious to me
username missing daniel is the comments simping for her 💔💔💔
username "love exists bc u exist for me" IM CRYING WHAT THR CUCK
-> username how'd we go from THAT to this.
georgerussell63 your hobbies include calling me and carmen at 3 in the morning just to say bonjour in weird accents and then hang up
-> yourusername idk abt u but carmen loves me doing that
-> carmenmmundt can confirm 😘
username nah bc what'd daniel do so bad that y/n started doing STUFF
-> username IM SAYING LIKE 😭😭😭
username missing her in the paddock sm omg ://
username praying she's at the next race 🙏🙏🙏
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 782,526 others
danielricciardo good riddance.
8,626 comments
username PAUSE
username reverse whatcthebfuck
username daniel babe what.
username no bc if i was y/n i would cry maybe that's just my sensitive ass
-> username definitely not just u bc i would SOB
username OH MY GOD
landonorris don't act like i can't hear you singing sad songs to yourself
-> danielricciardo LEAVE ME ALONE
username nah bc what the fucj
username i don't like it one bit 🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤
username NOT MY PARENTS FIGHTING
username love is not real bc if they didn't work out then there's absolutely no hope for me
username i feel so bad :////
charles_leclerc you're lying
-> danielricciardo no i'm not
-> charles_leclerc yes you are, i can see you wipe away your tears
-> danielricciardo STOP EXPOSING ME
-> username PLEASE OH MY GOD
username "good riddance" what if this was my last straw.
username i know he's gasping for air rn knowing he lost a bad bitch like y/n
username ahahahahaha!!! im so okay!!!!!!! just fine!!!!!!! idc abt this!!!!!!!! (im losing my mind)
username someone take away y/n's phone before she sees this PLEASE
username my heart's breaking wtf
username remember when daniel and y/n posted about each other with WHOLESOME captions??????? good times
-> username those were the highlights of my entire week like ://
-> username i miss my mom and dad sm 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
maxverstappen1 nice
*liked by danielricciardo*
username i know max is maaaaaaaaaaad
username the f1 gc is blowing up as we speak rn
-> username real like y/n is like their baby sister 😭😭😭
≡;- ꒰ °text messages ꒱
kelly's bf 👎 - max ; cat stealer ❌ - y/n
cat stealer ❌ : max
kelly's bf 👎 : what
cat stealer ❌ : is kelly with u
kelly's bf 👎 : she's out with p
kelly's bf 👎 : what happened
cat stealer ❌ : just wanted to talk to her
cat stealer ❌ : it's okay, just tell her to give me a call whenever she's back :) tell sweet p i love her and i miss her sm
kelly's bf 👎 : will do
seen 1m ago
kelly's bf 👎 : hey you okay?
kelly's bf 👎 : i saw what daniel posted
kelly's bf 👎 : it's a shit move just saying
kelly's bf 👎 : he's stupid
cat stealer ❌ : yeah idc lol
cat stealer ❌ : "good riddance" ok boy u literally begged me to make it work
cat stealer ❌ : i'm sorry ik he's ur best friend
kelly's bf 👎 : yeah but so are you
cat stealer ❌ : WOAHHH PAUSE
cat stealer ❌ : max being nice for a change?????
cat stealer ❌ : history was made
kelly's bf 👎 : don't make me take it back
kelly's bf 👎 : but yeah
kelly's bf 👎 : don't pay any attention to him, yeah? i'm sure kelly will have a few choice words for him at the next race, along with me. and p probably, she loves her aunt y/n
kelly's bf 👎 : speaking of that, you're coming to the next race right?
cat stealer ❌ : i love u all :// thank u
cat stealer ❌ : and no, i don't think it's a good idea
kelly's bf 👎 : are you sure? you can stay inside the whole time, he won't even see you
cat stealer ❌ : i'll think abt it, im just very overwhelmed rn that's all
kelly's bf 👎 : that's very understandable tbh
cat stealer ❌ : max
kelly's bf 👎 : y/n
cat stealer ❌ : can i ask u something
kelly's bf 👎 : if this is about letting you and kelly give me a makeover, it's no
cat stealer ❌ : we'll convince u someday but that's not what i wanted to ask
kelly's bf 👎 : what is it?
cat stealer ❌ : do u think daniel ever loved me
cat stealer ❌ : like at all???
kelly's bf 👎 : y/n
kelly's bf 👎 : of course he did
kelly's bf 👎 : you were his everything
cat stealer ❌ : then why was it so easy for him to walk out and then say "good riddance"
cat stealer ❌ : he took the easy way out
kelly's bf 👎 : he's a stupid asshole that's all
kelly's bf 👎 : but he truly did love you, he still does. i know i complained a lot, but with the way he spoke of you, like you were truly his everything. it was such a happy site, seeing my two best friends in love
cat stealer ❌ : u called me best friend twice omg
cat stealer ❌ : that's a record
kelly's bf 👎 : shut up
kelly's bf 👎 : my point is
cat stealer ❌ : i need to post something so W
cat stealer ❌ : brb
cat stealer ❌ : kelly's calling me
kelly's bf 👎 : so i was just a placeholder till my girlfriend arrived?
cat stealer ❌ : aw look at u using ur brain
kelly's bf 👎 : this is why daniel broke up with you
cat stealer ❌ : TOO SOON
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 736,826 others
yourusername me looking for my last fuck to give
7,927 comments
username SLAYED
username ATE SO HARD OMG
username MOTHER
username i love her sm omg
username she's winning the idgaf war
kellypiquet pretty girl 🤍
*liked by yourusername*
username IM IN LOVE WOAHHHH
username she gagged him y'all
username I LOVE HER SM
username gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf
maxverstappen1 👍
-> yourusername 👎
-> maxverstappen1 okay fuck you i was trying to be nice
username HER
username iconic
username exes beefing omg 💀💀💀
lilymhe SLAYED
*liked by yourusername*
lilymhe IN LOVE
*liked by yourusername*
lilymhe on my knees pls marry me
-> yourusername let's go bb i'll get u a ring
-> alex_albon oh
-> lilymhe babe LOOK AWAY
username two artworks in one frame
-> yourusername pls i love u 😭😭😭
username MOTHER IS MOTHERING
username i know he's shaking rn
username no bc the way my jaw dropped and the way i gasped why are u so pretty beautiful gorgeous angelic ethereal breathtaking hot fine amazing
username I WENT TO HEAVEN OMG
username just one chance please
charles_leclerc as lando taught me "slayed the house down 🔥🔥🔥"
-> yourusername PLEASE IM HONOURED
username i adore her friendship with the grid 🫶🏼
username ahsuidsjgsjsjsksisjajsdh
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, landonorris and 796,415 others
danielricciardo ignorance doesn't suit you
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by francisca.cgomes, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 801,728 others
yourusername honey everything suits me ❤️
tagged danielricciardo
comments are disabled for this post
#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#daniel ricciardo blurb#daniel ricciardo x y/n#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo instagram au#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo angst#daniel ricciardo au#f1 instagram au#f1 imagine
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ill beg u on my knees to do a smau with leo valdez PLEASEEE
"king of my heart"
leo valdez x unclaimed!reader
smau - dating as demigods is hard, but leo makes it easy
🎧 - king of my heart by taylor swift
a/n: i'm backkkkk! i havent been super active recently but i'm really trying to get back into it. first leo request woooooo! i also just updated the format of my smaus, posted a poll for my next smau, and added request guidelines so go check it out and request!! xoxo, liz
*swearing and suggestive content, not checked so might contain mistakes*
--------------------------------------------------------
liked by theleovaldez, whosannabeth, and others
yn_yln pizza date 😇🍕
tagged theleovaldez
view comments:
whosannabeth this is adorable
yn_yln ur adorable
percy.jackson i agree
itslukecastellan are those my glasses?
theleovaldez no...
percy.jackson ur making me hungry
whosannabeth ur always hungry
yn_yln lmao fatass
theleovaldez ❤️
yn_yln i love u more than pizza
theleovaldez oh
yn_yln ????!!!!!
theleovaldez i really like pizza
yn_yln 😐
theleovaldez but i really love you
larueclarisse AWEEEEEEE
yn_yln 🤭
_groverunderwood tin cans>>
yn_yln ew grover
yn_yln's story
view reply from theleovaldez:
theleovaldez ur literally the love of my life
yn_yln and ur mine
view reply from whosannabeth:
whosannabeth WE SHOULD DO A BEACH DOUBLE DATE
yn_yln OMG YES! SATURDAY?
whosannabeth YES
view reply from percy.jackson:
percy.jackson ur so lucky i didnt drown u
yn_yln wtf???
percy.jackson oh sorry i thought this was leos story
percy.jackson im dyslexic
yn_yln a) we all are b) wtf???
theleovaldez's story
liked by yn_yln, iamchrisrodriguez, larueclarisse, and others
liked by itslukecastellan, _groverunderwood, and others
theleovaldez the world and my world in pngs
tagged yn_yln
view comments:
larueclarisse "my world" SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING
yn_yln me rn
iamchrisrodriguez ur my world clar
larueclarisse this isnt about you chris
theleovaldez 💀
yn_yln king of my 🖤
theleovaldez body and soul 🖤
whosannabeth percy you no longer have any excuses to not learn taylor for me
itslukecastellan ok this is cute
theleovaldez ur cute
yn_yln 😃??
_groverunderwood leave the bromance alone y/n
silenaaaa goals 👏
liked by theleovaldez and yn_yln
yn_yln's story
view reply from silenaaaa:
silenaaa how to find a boy in this font no effort envolved
yn_yln lmao (fr tho i have no idea how this happened)
view reply from theleovaldez:
theleovaldez you make every picture pretty
yn_yln ur the kind of guy they write songs about
theleovaldez 🖤
#leo valdez#leo valdez x reader#percy jackson#percy jackson smau#pjo smau#smau#leo valdez fluff#leo valdez smau#pjo imagine#pjo series#percy jackson imagine#percy series#percy jackon and the olympians
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MUTUALS
This is a LOT and probably half of it doesn't make any sense and looks like gibberish but yk what thats fine. Sorry I couldn't fit everyone!
@clovers-garden-co - my first ever moot, my one and only, bae, love of my life, my beloved, and the person who helped me make this blog so BIG SHOUT OUT to them!! ALSO CHECK OUT THEY'RE BLOG THEY DESERVE SO MUCH LOVE 💕💖💘
@fitzkn - my dawg, my guy, my fam, he's canonically a cat and part of the menace society. If you ever see me rb a convo with him, 9 times outta 10 it's gonna be something... idek how to explain it but you might laugh, you might cry, you might log out and rethink your life on this app. Conversations can range from genshin to a lawn mower don't ask me cause I have no words. He's also a talented writer an artists but will never admit it. If you're a fan of angst and genshin, I recommend digging through his blog and finding a fic called butter knife... I was in tears. HIS OTHER WORKS ARE CHEF KISS TOO MWAH
@some-stale-bread - we don't interact much but they're one of the OGs who welcomed me when I first started my blog. They're really cool and they're a good artist so check them out some time!
@senjusonlygirlfriend - we go way back, though we didn't interact much in those early moments. They're an amazing writer and friend and I love chatting with them <33
@path-of-yaksha - we also been moots for a while but I got hella confused bc you changed your url. They're a pretty chill system even though we don't interact much
@y-umiko - fell in love with their blog aesthetic <3 wish we interacted more. They like genshin and TR so it's a yes for me
@mansplain-manipulate-malewife - I don't know how this happened, but it did and I don't regret it. I feel like im falling through portals from rick and morty whenever I open their blog. It's a nice change of scenery. Hii Alex, hope you're doing well
@official-megumin - The best wizard in tumblr so powerful I had to follow. IDK WHAT CHECKMARKS MEAN AND WHY IS THERE MORE THAN ONE??? EXPLAIN??? She's cool, though I rarely see them when im active
@oddshroom - MY GURL, MY G, MY SHROOM- MUSHROOM? HAMVKTIRLOE. ANOTHER ONE PART OF MENACE SOCIETY. They're an awesome person, really sweet, amazing writer, we also speak in code 🦞 but you'll never know what we're saying. They gang fr doe 💅🏾✨
@dorothy-rainbird - WE DONT INTERACT ANYMORE *sobs* or have we ever? I see you in my notifs a lot though so you're part of the misfit gang. RESPECTT. Wish I seen you on my dash more tho :')
@vellichxrr6782 - HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU. You're really sweet and I wish we talked more <33 I wish you the best my friend
@cross-crye - ANOTHER AMAZING WRITER HELLO??? They bouta put me on twst fr im this 🤏🏾close into falling down the simp rabbit hole. HELLO SETH I ALSO WISH U THE BEST
@omori-1 - daily reminder that I need to finish watching omori... I PROMISE I WILL AJUFKRI. VIRGO GANG. TALENTED CREATOR GANG. IF I COULD EAT THEIR BLOG I WOULD. Put it inna air fryer and drizzle some sauce on afterwards yum. Another one part of menace society. LOVE YA CHAI, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND THEN SOME
@xiao6ao - My love. My life. My will to write. MY LOVELY EDITOR. MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU. She's my life support for real and also deserves the world and good fortune and just Nbhvgtdikmk This world shall know pain if anything happens to her. AMAZING WRITER YET ANOTHER ONE WHO DOESNT ADMIT IT. Grammarly 2.0. Always come in clutch. Menace society CEO. AHH I LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE
@atskas - MY FAM. TALENTED AUTHORS ALERT. TIMEZONES SUCK FR BUT I STILL LOVE THEM. Another one locked in, in the menace society, rip their sleep schedule. HI ARII ILY- HIARIILY... That actually looked like one word- GIRL I WISH YOU THE BEST MWAH
@lunartcmpest - it's always the aesthetic blogs that melts my heart. TALENT WRITER ALERT BEEP BEEP BEEP. GO CHECK OUT THEIR BLOG RN OR IM SNATCHING YOUR ANKLES. Wish we interacted more but it's all good. She's pretty cool tho. SHOUT OUTS TO YOU KAIRI, WISH YOU WELL
@alhara - AUTOCORRECT BE DAMNED. HELLO HARA. SHOUT OUT TO ANOTHER UNDERRATTED WRITER. Wish you the best
@albed0kreideprinz - They haven't been active in a min and I hope they're okay, but here's an amazing rp blog for all those interested. They're amazing and really sweet and I hope the world treats them well <3
@araranas - aka @primojade aka TALENETED WRITER aka AMAZING PERSON aka MNJNJENKI I LOVE YOU. TIMEZONES BE DAMNED
@ventisweetheart - IF ONLY I COULD HUG SOMEONE THRU THE INTERNET! You're so sweet and I'm glad we're moots and I always look forward to our interactions
@micheya - I dont know why and dont ask me, but if I could squish you like a gummy bear I would... IT MIGHT BE THE AETHER PFP IDK. We don't interact much but <333
@1eaf-me-alone - This year, I think you should turn a new 1eaf... g-get it BECAUSE MUYGITKR,ICRLT. Forgive me, I had to. PFF S,MUTFR THEY'RE REALLY COOL CHECK THEM OUT. HI HELLO HRU. I love our interactions please dont block me for my Cyno jokes, I'll 1eaf you alone if you- AUMSUFKRDE IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT!!
@scaranya - the fact that I had to basically type your full name out because scaranation is so big on tumblr... N E WAYS, RECENT MOOT HERE. Love to see your comments <3 Please stay safe and well!
@qingxin-dream - ENVIOUS OF YOUR WANDERER KEYCHAIN GRRR GRRR SUNYUFKRIKRCF. Another great writer here, please check them out!
@sweet-almonds - COMFORT WRITER BC ANGST BREAKS MY HEART. SHE'S AWESOME AND SWEET AND I ADORE YOUR BLOG
@enassbraid - Yall with these url changes. I HAVE BAD MEMORY OKAY! She's lovely okay and deserves the moon and back
@wanderersbell - WWEEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO TALENT WRITER ALERT, YES OFFICER? RIGHT THERE -> YOU'RE LITERALLY SO AMAZING AND FUN TO TALK WITH IM SO GLAD WE CROSSED PATHS EEEE PLEASE I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING EVERYDAY I WISH U THE BEST
I KNOW IM MISSING A FEW AND IF I CAN I'LL ADD THEM LATER BUT MY HANDS ARE GETTING TIRED AND SORRY IF SOME OF THE THINGS IVE SAID WAS REPETTITIVE I TRIED MY BEST
@cynotical - RECENTLY BECAME MOOTS BUT IVE BEEN A FAN FOR AWHILE ✨✨✨ Another talented writer please check them out as well as their other blog!!! THEY'RE AWESOME AND SUCH A LOVELY PERSON TOO
@sonder-paradise - idk how but their writing manages to break me down and put me back together again every time like— UGHHH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Talent writer alert x20. Should have 2 novels and an ongoing series already because wth
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Repost from peach-cream-enmu-archive
Levi’s baby would absolutely be a panicky cryer, yes. The kind to let out the most heart breaking sobs the moment they’re left alone. Would he have a blanket or stuffed animal? Or one of those stuffed animal and blanket combos?
Lucifer’s is a quiet but expressive baby. Not afraid to show his irritation and dissatisfaction with something.
Asmos baby is either the most perfect Angel you’d ever meet or an utter menace, but I’m leaning more towards the first.
Belphie would have an active hyper baby! Because that’s funny! Draws on walls, gets dirty, plays with their food. While beels baby sleeps soooo much you almost worry about the little one. Big baby with a big appetite, but is always so polite and patient when waiting and asking for food
I’m working on some baby obey me stuff so thoughts? Im only doing those 5 for now…maybe simeon but I can’t think of anything for his baby….
Let me know how you think their babies would be. And if you have any suggestions for the characters I didn’t mention let me know, I’m doing this set because they’re the ones I can think of things for rn
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happy new year new moot safi! im literally geeking because of your tumblr theme it’s sosoososo pretty. the taylor references >>> i was reading your about me and my mouth went wide open bc the “i wanna be defined by the things i love” and “not the things i hate” was so smart 😭 ugh i love your brain. looking forward to our future interactions! muah! <3
sobbing you’re so sweet i saw you like sanrio and jake from enhypen and my mind went yes yes yes nd your little theme is sooo adorable it makes me think of matcha. i’m so obsessed with the colour akdjsjdjd.
but thank u kaori !! happy new year to you too !! i am on hiatus rn but ill definitely be trying to be more active in the next few months so i can see what you’re up to hehe <33
mwah, enjoy the new year and i can’t wait to see more of you soon lover <33
#꒰ its nice to have a friend. ꒱#꒰ lover girls — kaori. ꒱#if u think ur fangirling ur so wrong aksjdhdjd im fangirling so hard#you’re so nice ily#also to everyone i’m ignoring… i’m sorry ill answer my inbox soon i promise 😭🫶
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ive been tagged by both @crazymadredfox and @geometricalien by now and im finally getting around to it 😅
thank you for the tag!! 💕💕💕♥️♥️
Rules: answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better/catch up with!
Last song:
pacify her - melanie martinez
very good song to play act out at 3am in ur bedroom btw 👍
Three Ships:
sengen (still my main ship atm ♥️, though i haven't been as active in the fandom recently)
oumota (this ones been a fave for years now! man, times been flying by huh)
LambdaBern (my favorite mean lesbians ♥️)
i think my type in ship is just p a r a l l e l s and t h e m e s but also, they're silly
Currently reading:
i'm reading "thomas the imposter" by jean cocteau! i like it so far.
Last Movie:
i rewatched "liz and the blue bird" again the other day. yes, it did make me sob again.
Craving:
^these thingies. im too lazy to look up what they're called in english
tagging: @roseofcards90 @lovelovelovelove-iloveyou @sai-my-beloved and anyone who wants to i can't remember any urls rn sorry orz dhshjd
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Just watched the clip, and—listen, I’ve gotta state for the record that I’m still ride-or-die for Punnihawk first and foremost, but that being said—
*deep breath*
How are there people who don’t ship this?! H o w?! How can anyone look at that scene and not think he proposed immediately upon getting back to the states and she immediately accepted?
*clears throat* Anyway, in universes where Punnihawk isn’t canon, those two totally settled down and started a family.
(Queen, I’m going feral over this and it’s all your fault. /aff Expect an influx of Houlihawk prompts in the next few days.)
—No GFA Anon
hehe glad you liked the kiss, im not exaggerating when I say I was waiting on the edge of my seat for their goodbye, literally actively sobbing, and stopped crying to cheer loudly. perfect sendoff for them, perfect way to wrap them up
I will say I do get why people dont ship them! I personally didnt start shipping them till more recently, when I did my rewatch. I actually really do like them as having feelings for each other, but choosing to remain friends. I think its a really interesting dynamic! I love that the show went that route, like. yes I ship them but im also very happy they weren't endgame
as for post-canon thoughts on them I actually have. a multi chapter fic in the works for that. very very early stages of planning rn but it is there in my notes with several jottings of plot things and ideas
as for your prompts cant wait to get em! im working on a prompt for you right now actually hoping to have that done and posted up soon
#mash#shipping Houlihawk snuck up on me#they are my favourite relationship on the show#their friendship is just so good#and then I got to Comrades in Arms in my rewatch and I was like man... what if you two got together#and now they consume most of my brain function
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do you watch any of holotempus or mysta rias??
YES GOD JASDKJAS
And the thing with mysta is already kinda saddening, tho its been eased up by how hes still been active and making jokes and shit, but aaAAAAA ive been off twt and yt the whole day and I just heard about Magni and Vesper and i am so so so literally sad like i cannot comprehensively state it rn hasdkjas like im whole listening to the tempus boys' announcement and sobbing rn im gnonansdansonsnsjk
#「 🐈⬛ 」 strawberry.milk#「 🍓 」 Fave Flavor !! brazo.de.mercedes#also!! side note i received all ur other asks mori and ill answer them once my brain starts cooperating ahsjas#like lowk i was more casual in watching Mysta and Dez but BROOO i loved listening to vespers stories and zatsus im so sad rn on god
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CHAPTER 97 BSD MANGA SPOILERS
Aight so I was talking with a friend about how the whole escape thing is gone play out and she said that most likely both Fyodor and Dazai will miraculously survive and I was just like "yes but WHAT IF THE COST IS SIGMA'S LIFE HUH-" and she literally asked wHaT aRe yOu suGgEStiNg" and so I started aggressively theorising and the "say aye" post was a trap cuz imma tag y'all in this now (btw im just copy pasting from whatsapp rn so yea)
We haven't seen too many major deaths yet (except ofc yk but like....not MANY ) And there is a full possibility someone else will also die and the impact of Sigma's death would be pretty big psychologically for the ADA specifically Atsushi me thinks (because he couldn't save him not once but twice😀)
And also if Dazai ends up using Sigma's life in some way it would cause a pretty huge rift I think between him and Atsushi and possibly the rest of the ADA like they will still listen to his plans because yeah but they will also be distant and that would most definitely affect Dazai more than he would show and I feel like if he lost his friends in the ADA because of any reason specially if it's his own doing then he would slowly but surely start regressing to a pre development aka Port Mafia Dazai-ish state and just yeah that would be bad
Plus if Fyodor PLANNED to have Sigma die at that particular time his plans would already be in disarray but the death wouldn't affect them as bad but if he assumed Nikolai would have survived and saved Sigma then he had a job for both of them and Sigma's loss will definitely make him need to reroute (although I fully believe he has like AT LEAST 15 contingency plans incase a team member dies but still) and if Dazai figures out which one it is, if it's the latter I fully believe he can and he will use Sigma to get out and sacrifice him in the process (I mean I love the guy but he's highkey evil when it comes down to high stakes stuff)
ALSO, his (Sigma's) ability is an important one for an organisation that makes all its plans and executes them on the basis of the information it gets because Fukuchi might be the head but we all know that Fyodor is the one actually making the plans yes?? And Fyodor is a literal genius but even he needs the information required before making any plans. So yeah if Fyodor DIDN'T plan for him to actually die and Dazai figures it out Sigma is highkey a dead man walking.
And just yeah while his active contribution to the plot right now isn't that much, him dying during the escape which leads to the other two surviving it would make his part much greater overall plus it would deal psychological damage to the characters (and possibly general working damage to Fyodor) plus it would be a bittersweet thing about him never having truly existed and stuff as well because I can definitely see Asagiri pulling that card on us just so we sob some more😀😭
Anyways so yea that's that it's just a theory though so👀👀
Anyways for the tags now: @glittercrashhh @boombboi @akuutaguava @panic-at-the-gender @fyo-door @chuuy-a @saintsprotecttheghoul @sword-dad-fukuzawa @yukiko-otaku @flower-of-darkness @galacticfairytheweeb @dusted-star @lillybet-the-overlord @ficharsimp @thebgcharacter
And ofc honourable mentions to the one who led to all of this with the initial convo: @fruitpunchsamurai16
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Levi’s baby would absolutely be a panicky cryer, yes. The kind to let out the most heart breaking sobs the moment they’re left alone. Would he have a blanket or stuffed animal? Or one of those stuffed animal and blanket combos?
Lucifer’s is a quiet but expressive baby. Not afraid to show his irritation and dissatisfaction with something.
Asmos baby is either the most perfect Angel you’d ever meet or an utter menace, but I’m leaning more towards the first.
Belphie would have an active hyper baby! Because that’s funny! Draws on walls, gets dirty, plays with their food. While beels baby sleeps soooo much you almost worry about the little one. Big baby with a big appetite, but is always so polite and patient when waiting and asking for food
I’m working on some baby obey me stuff so thoughts? Im only doing those 5 for now…maybe simeon but I can’t think of anything for his baby….
Let me know how you think their babies would be. And if you have any suggestions for the characters I didn’t mention let me know, I’m doing this set because they’re the ones I can think of things for rn
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ok. i finished 10 minutes ago and needed a break. prepare for a long message miss stella 🙂
firstly, THE BEGINNING. WHAT THE CUCKSNEKMFKD. THE WORKING OUT, THE WATCHING EACH OTHER IN THE MIRROR, THE SEXUAL TENSION I COULD FEEL THROUGH THE SCREEN. i-
ok but when oc was kinda sad she wasn’t invited i wanted to cry because i get so immersed into the story i forget nari isn’t hers. it’s just cause she’s so amazing to nari that i forget :/ and it’s hard for me to accept she’s not oc and jk’s baby. anyways.
the ASS EATING STELLA. u went in and i’m so happy for that. wait i need to appreciate this snippet:
“As your tongue works over him, he chants over and over again, tells you how hot you look, how good your mouth feels, how wants you to keep going. It’s when you point your tongue a little, just barely pressing into his rim that his hand goes to the back of your head.
He holds your face to his ass, pushes you into him as he melts into the chair, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths that lilt up at the end.
“Good girl,” Jeongguk moans, his eyes blinking open hazily as he looks down at you again.”
WHDKSIWNEJE THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE SMUT FOR ME.
hELP BUT WHEN SHE SAID DADDY AND HE WAS LIKE “no🤨” I SCREAMED … the sir kink i gotta go. let’s not forget how oc was CRYING from the jock. she was so overwhelmed, there was so much happening. like the way u were adding in the little thoughts where we could tell love was brewing 😞 oh and i need to mention him holding her up cause she was completely fucked out… yeah
wait before i get to the hard part, I WANNA SAY JK HAVING A LITTLE AREA FOR NARI WITH A DANCE BAR 😭 sobbing rn
…. ok
now onto the madness.
i just knew nari’s mom was gonna be at the door. like if she wasn’t u would’ve been like “you paid the delivery guy quickly and walked to the kitchen” but the way you were processing every second before oc opened the door.. i just KNEW.
the AWKWARDNESS. we all know oc is gorgeous but we’ve all been there where we meet someone important and we don’t look our best and we’re sCREAMING inside. now oc didn’t seem to care besides the fact she was in jk’s shirt and it was painfully obvious they just fucked (wait i wish oc was like “bitch i ate his ass bet u never did before” ok let me stop)
we all knew dasom was gonna be THAT mom. hardworking, intimidating, classy, beautiful, JUDGEMENTAL. and whilst reading i was angry…quite PISSED OFF i will admit, BUT the more u think about it.. yeah imagine taking your daughter to your ex’s house and seeing a beautiful young woman in a your ex husbands shirt and your daughter reaching for her… what would u do? i’d be petty. so yeah can i blame her? no.
but i still wanted to punch her in the fucking face. like i have a strong hate for her but i also don’t?? it bothers me that her and jk thought having a baby would fix everything. at least they’re both amazing parents. nari’s speech issues hurt me sm. i could feel gguk’s worry. and ngl i felt for dasom when she cried. but also GET OUT OF HERE CUNT!! (i’m bipolar when it comes to her sorry 😁)
but i am mad at gguk for not defending oc. i know he was kinda in shock from the questions about “are u committing to her” but it made me upset. maybe cause i’ve been in that situation. and having someone u care about NOT defend u fucking hurts. a guy did the same to me with his ex. i get it’s a different situation tho, my ex wasnt a hot sexy rich carrying dilf… 
but this is stressful because i understand both sides. i don’t think i’d want to become a stepmom at 22. no matter how much i loved someone and their kid. this is hard for me to say but, i for once would be okay with them not ending up together. (i say this now but if they don’t i’ll be kicking n crying on the floor cussing u out)…. this is totally different than icrlr because here we have both sides communicating their feelings and concerns.
and they are both in COMPLETELY different parts of their life. it hurts.. so bad to say but maybe they aren’t meant to be together.
damn stella you’ve broken me. i’m actually wishing for them to part. look what you’ve done to me 🙂
now i’m not saying i’d be mad if they end up together, but i feel like if they don’t, it makes sense.
but iF THEY DONT POOR NARI WILL MISS HER. oh speaking of nari and oc… the part where she was holding her face while crying i- 😭 ur evil for that. babies r so precious. i’m done. and THE NARWHAL NOOOO 🙁
well i feel like i touched on everything i can remember. i’m sure more will come to mind after some re-reads. thank u my lovely stella, for the lengthy update. 💖💖
(but damn u cant put me thru the ringer like this … my feelings are so fucked up rn)
ahhhh yaz <33 ur reviews always make me sooo happy <333
i too forget that nari isn't oc's sometimes :( (or like i choose to forget about her mom lmao) she and nari have such a special bond </3
yes the ass eating 😤 and yeah okay, when he was pushing her into him i had to pause and like... think about my choices bc something activates me when jk gets so into it 🥴 im glad u liked it, love writing ass eating <3 jk really was like 'no daddy kink ever 🙅🏻' LMAO i feel like this smut was one of their more passionate times, they both were so into it n <33
ur exactly right about the kind of mom dasom is LOL and ur also right about how she reacted, like i feel like i would have definitely acted similarly, if not more petty 😭 but yeah she was kinda bitchy and didn't have to express herself that way. and when they were talking about nari, i really wanted to show dasom isn't a bad mom, and they she LOVES nari... like she's the antagonist but she's not a villain, i wanted her to be very human. (i kinda have a soft spot for her tbh)
it really is so hard because everyones emotions are valid. i know some people will pick sides, but i as the writer understand the motives of everyone a little better so i have a difficult time, although i can understand the flaws in each characters thinking process lol. they have a lot to think about and work through </33
thank u so much for reading and for taking the time to send me this like u have no idea how much i look forward to reading what u think about my stuff, ur opinion is valuable to me friend <33
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These are from the same person btw
There are a lot of shitty takes in the tags rn but this one has to be one of the wackest
—–
this has been sitting for a few days bc these takes sure are something.
do these stans think the villains are not doing what they are doing of their own free will? shigaraki, the lov, all the villains are consciously making the decision to be bad. they are bad people. they like being bad people. you cannot compare the villains and heroes and say “oh, well actually you need to treat them the same-” thats not how it works. sure, society was shitty and didn’t help people like shigaraki or toga or twice but why do they get off killing people?
why is it SO HARD to understand that mass murder is bad??? that while they are right in saying society has hurt them, it gives them no right to act the way they are? that it doesn’t make them great people? they are actively hurting people who have done nothing to do. the heroes are seeking to protect those people.
you can sympathize and even relate to the villains! people do it to characters like bakugou and endeavor - but guess what? you dont have to support their actions. just because they have a sob story, doesn’t mean they should get off freely. it doesnt mean they shouldn’t be held accountable. it doesn’t make the villains better people to stand up in the manner they are - it doesnt make them stronger, or smarter, or the good guys, it makes them look selfish because they dont care about making society good. they dont care about changing anything. they only seek to destroy whats hurt them so they can continue to hurt more innocent people. there is no “they want a peaceful society!” because im pretty sure its been stated several times they’re just in it for themselves. heroes are in it for the protection of others, for civilians. for children and the elderly.
and yes, heroes over the years have obviously been warped (you’ve got heroes who may appear more greedy and in it for the money) - but the series has shown us so many heroes who are in it for genuinely good reasons. we’ve seen more ‘greedy’ heroes change, for example, mt lady. they cant help the villains because the villains dont want help. they could never do anything before because - shocker - most of the current heroes we see weren’t heroes at the time the villains were hurt. the villains being hurt never excuses mass murder, especially when people in this fandom read into it to such an extent it doesnt make sense.
heroes, at their core, are not bad.
we’ve also seen with deku, he will possibly reach out to help shigaraki. he’s already tried. but we know, shigaraki wont take it. we know all might also wanted to help when he found out. some stans need to sit down, shut up and stop warping their biased views of these characters.
also that deku take is so STUPID have we been keeping up with the same series? making him out to be privileged when yeah, he was lucky…but its not as if everything was fucking fine and dandy. the series, CONTINUOUSLY, shows us his struggles. we are constantly reminded that he was extremely lucky. we’re constantly reminded that he doesn’t find himself worthy. we’re constantly reminded of his past and how everyone has helped deku to where he is now, and how he never takes that for granted. this series is deku’s story, and if you’re so blind as to of somehow skipped that, you really need to refresh your memory.
deku being “accepted” by the society - did you forget that hardly anyone knows of deku’s past itself? he doesn’t go around proclaiming he was quirkless, only to be struck by luck of his actions and receive a quirk. no one knows of deku’s origins. the only people of importance who know are bakugou and all might. no one else in his class knows, shinsou doesn’t know, aizawa and the teachers don’t know, people and heroes who watched the sports festival, don’t know.
so what exactly are they supposed to ‘ridicule’ him about when they think its his natural quirk? to them, he manifested that quirk naturally. they’ve had no reason to question him. they’ve had no reason to not trust him or accuse him of getting his quirk through other means. to them, a quirk like ofa - the ability to pass one’s power - isn’t a possibility they’ve considered or been wary of. deku has had to continuously prove to himself that he is worthy of that quirk, always remembering where he started. his issues didn’t just get left in the past.
also heroes only protecting “good, obedient soldiers” and bringing up best jeanist and twice…im honestly not even going to bother. the situations of those two characters were extremely different, and had nothing to do with their status. the hero commission likely could not risk losing another high-ranking hero so soon after all might. they have time to plan an alternative, so hawks can get dabi to trust him. twice’s situation was in the moment.
there was no back-up plan. there was no plan at all. hawks did what he thought was the best choice, in that moment, because he felt he had no other option. he did not have the time best jeanist’s situation gave him. he didn’t have the resources. he didn’t have the power to do much else. it was either end twice where he was, or let him leave and re-group with the lov, which is the last thing hawks wants. hawks is fighting to save people, and ultimately he chose saving many lives over saving one.
hawks did not aim to kill twice initially as it was never his plan - he wanted to help twice and give him a new start. he saw a genuinely nice person which the manga itself states. but funnily enough, some stans will just skip over that information because it inconveniences their view on the story.
the kids themselves are questioning if this whole war fiasco was the right decision. this is a story of what exactly is heroism, and what better cast to show that to us then those very same kids, who are going to grow and learn?
anyways some of yall be wilding bc you cant read, and it shows
#ffs people gotta stop it AINT that DEEP stop woobifying the villains#the fact people call deku privileged and saying he left his issues behind...ew#please learn to read <3 itll help a lot#mha takes#submission
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I decided to put all of the particularly notable youtube music recap songs in one ask as to not kill you instantly!
this one might be a bit long. (apologetic)
#4- internet ruined me (unexpected but not surprised)
#6- eight by sleeping at last (it's my mental breakdown and I get to choose the music)
#7- saline solution (banger)
#12- innocence by madeon (I expected this to be top 5, probably only isn't bc I listened to one hour loops of is until youtube mobile added a loop feature)
#13- heat waves by glass animals (I didn't need to say who that was by)
#14- jubilee line (expected!)
(I have both a cover of welcome to castle irwell and the original both on my top 100, but I listen to the cover more)
#15- welcome to castle irwell by crywank (cover by otisjoy)
#16- line of sight by odesza (refer to #12)
#19- in love with an e-girl (yassss :])
#29- your new boyfriend (wilbur enjoyer)
#31- can I exist by missio (refer to #16 and #12)
#37- since I saw vienna (I can play most of this on guitar)
#39- losing face (surprised it isn't higher)
#45- good grief by bastille (fully recommend)
(time skip)
#96- creature by half alive (I really expected this to be higher)
I left out quite a bit because this isn't a murder attempt! (and because I need to keep my dignity)
I really only started actively trying to discover new music/bands in the last few months so it didn't have much time to make an impact on my recap
:]
ok i'm going to talk ab these individually so i'm gonna put it under a cut so that way ppl who don't care don't have to read it lmao
ok so first internet ruined me ofc a banger a great tune
next eight by sleeping at last Now i'm in a good mental state rn but if i wasn't i feel like that song would be the last straw before my breakdown u know what i mean
next saline solution easily one of my favorite songs from ycgma (youll find as you read this i actually saw all of the songs are ycgma are "one of my favorites) the album is just fucking Good)
INNOCENCE BY MADEON BANGER BANGER went straight into my playlist i loved it
heat waves ofc a classic Tbh (my fave song from that album is probably space ghost coast to coast ik you didn't ask but i wanted to share anyway smile)
jubilee line yasss a classic a banger i listen to this song very loudly in the car and i bang my fist on the steering wheel it's awesome
i listened to the original of welcome to castle irwell and it reminded me of another song <- i'll come back to that one
next is line of sight by odesza i listened to the original and the reprise and i liked the reprise a Lot (i just . rly like the sound of string instruments)
i'm in love with an e-girl and your new boyfriend YASSS BANGERS
can i exist by missio also a banger (they have another song called twisted that i think you would Enjoy)
since i saw vienna yes the song that makes me wanna sob every time it comes on (the lyric i'll put down my roots when i'm dead gets me every time)(also it's so cool that u can play that on guitar i gen love the guitar sm)
losing face maybe (??) my favorite song on ycgma it's a close tie with im sorry boris but losing face is Soo good the ending rly gets me
GOOD GRIEF BY BASTILLE ALSO A HUGE BANGER that also went right into my playlist Soo good
creature by half alive a JAM this might go in my chill moment playlist Also the cover art is gorgeous
#i hope this is comprehensible i am. So tired#music is so cool Likee i'm glad you enjoy music sm with me 🤝#also ty for the new jams i luv expanding my playlist#asks#toby <3
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Ramuda and Doppo :0
OH MY BOYS LETS GO
Under a cut bc long
Ramuda Amemura
First impression
Baby boy baby. Very cute and sweet i love characters with ramudas aesthetic i tend to want to protect them, especially since its an aesthetic that i fall into myself and lo v e so kseidjsnfn YEAH this man is baby!!!
Impression now
Ohhh my god i love this man i love the way he is characterised he is so incredibly interesting as a character and tbh so realistic and honestly i adore him!!! I alarmingly see a lot of myself in him tbh, were incredibly similar and that isnt necessarily a good thing!! But still i love this man
Favorite moment
Oh man where tf do i BEGIN there are so many ngl, but mostly all of the moments where we see ramuda's humanity. There is still a sweetness left under the darkness, there is still a man who wants to cling onto everything he has - his emotion, his internal battles, his morality vs his desperate need to survive - oh fucking man so much.
Idea for a story
CAN WE FUCKING. HAVE RAMUDA TALK HIS SHIT OUT PLEASE can we just have others actively helping ramuda cAN THIS MAN PLEASE BE SHOWN THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR HIM,,, PLEASE,, i just want ramuda to finally talk out everything and have people on his side. Please.
Unpopular opinion
This probs isnt unpopular by any means, but idk what else to put here so take this:
I dont really see it often discussed that yknow ramuda is an abuse victim. Like, its very clear that chuokhu uses and abuses him, and his life is constantly being hung over his head. No wonder the dude is doing anything he can in order to survive, he has no choice in that regard. Before i get told this in the notes yes i know this doesnt excuse the things hes done!!! But tbh i really think that like the trauma that ramuda is living with kinda needs to be addressed.
Favorite relationship
I am a huge multishipper and have found a way to ship ramuda w just about most people (that are adults and not in chuokhu lol) so this is pretty tough
Id say either fling poly or jkrm and these are my reasons lets go:
Fling poly: HAVE YOU S E E N THEM do i really need to say more here all three of them have such good chemistry together, theyre all clearly on the same wavelength and have such a wonderful dynamic,,, they found out about the clones and shit and they STILL chose to protect ramuda and to fight for him and with him and to stay by his side aND BLACK JOURNEY TOO I-- IM GONNA START SOBBING,,,
Jakuramu: this one is not based on canon too much i am sorry this is mostly hc but i am a huge sucker for enemies to lovers ok also, i feel like out of TDD these two would be the ones to reconcile. After all, jakurai is a rather empathetic man and he probably would def understand the situation that ramuda was in. After all this dude was an ex assassin, if ramuda was to tell him everything, im sure that he would be able to relate to yknow the time he took others' lives, people with families and friends that he killed because he was ordered to and most likely had no other choice. Of course, jakurai is well within his right to not forgive ramuda for what happened to yotsutsuji, but i feel like he would and would help him get out of the situation hes in,,, and also im soft for the TDD era ok like how jakurai WANTED TO KNOW THE REAL RAMUDA AND LIKE,,, even when ramuda snapped at him he was GLAD HE WANTSD TO KNOW HIM FUCK MAN,,, i just really like these two ok
Favorite headcanon
I have quite a lot of hcs! Here are a few and like some explanation as to why:
- hes trans - i personally believe this bc personally itd make sense. Ramuda has a very feminine appearance and build, those that are like typically common in asian countries. As well as that, he has his own autonomy unlike the other clones. It wouldnt surprise me if chuokhu orignally wanted to make a girl to keep the other divisions in check, but when he decided personally that he didnt want to be such a way, they said sure, more room for us to treat you as we want to. Hes got money, getting T wouldnt be that difficult for him either, so thats why his voice is. That way fiaudjsnfnd anyway i think it makes sense!! Idk--
- he has bpd - projection probably but the biggest inspiration for this headcanon is how he is emotionally. His swings are violent - he feels and expresses such a diverse range of emotions and its so easy for him to change his emotional disposition - whilst also mostly feeling totally empty. Relationship wise also, given how he was genuinely really close to jakurai and then completely splitting on him, h a t i n g him. Yeah that sounds like bpd to me chief i know i have it!!! Theres more ik there is but i cant pull up examples rn
- hes neurodivergent - again mostly projection honestly and like there isnt much of a canon basis in his behaviour, just little things, but i like to personally hc that aside from eating candy to stay alive duh, that he chooses lollipops bc they serve as a sort of stim?? Also ik that fashion is his job but hes also so so clearly passionate about it that its a special interest for him, and thats partially why he took it up as a job in the first place, so he could do something related to his special interest lol. Idk i know there isnt any basis for this but just let me have autistic ramuda iaiesjdnsnfn
Doppo Kanonzaka
First impression
Now THATS what i call a tired mf!!! This dude has yves saint laurent eyebags also he really reminds me of aggretsuko somehow??? Im really not sure what it is
Impression now
Yeah i was def right with the aggretsuko comparison siaishsnshfb BUT I LOVEEE HIM i love him very much and i think this man really needs a break and is also very relateable i love
Favorite moment
As much as i love fp i absolutely adore the badass koments that doppo has including when he absolutely fucking obliterated fling posse sksjxnxncn also!! All of his little moments with hifumi i genuinely enjoy their dynamic its so cute
Idea for a story
Honestly i wanna see him slowly recover from the teauma that he has experienced because this king absolutely deserves it, and also from a practical point of view itd make this mf s t r o n g e r i also just.... long to see doppo happy honestly he deserves to smile!!
Unpopular opinion
I dont really have an unpopular opinion but saving like leaving this blank: as much as i absolutely adore jakurai and hifumi and their music (jakurai is my fave out of every hypmic character and i WILL drive this home), to me doppo just has the best music. Like, i love tigridia and BLACK OR WHITE so fucking much its absolutely unreal and all of doppos verses in every song are juust so fucking good. As much as i listen to you are, therefore i am on repeat every day of my life doppos music is just the best ✨
Favorite relationship
Again i am a huge multishipping bitch and i habe a few ships with doppo but in ahll honesty my fave is very clear - i absolutely adore his dynamic with matenrou as a whole and especially hifumi - his relationship with hifumi is clearly so special and it really shows how strong their friendship is, and in a ship sense i find it to be realy cute bc theres such a clear need for each other and that even if they clearly come at odds sometimes, at the end of the days theyre still clearly so close and i just,,, god doppo reallt deserves someone like hifumi in his life and im so glad that he has it!!!!
Favorite headcanon
Honestly i dont really think i have too many for doppo but given his general demeanor and his attitude, i personally hc him as demi. Yeah i know that sexualities dont have like typical personalities and such but i feel like given his anxieties around new people and how he clearly only really sticks to those that hes very close with, it makes more sense for him to be demi than any other sexuality to be quite honest - and this is also just pushing my hifudo agenda aiqiauansnssn but yknow!!!!
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anyone wanna hear the story of how i found out supernatural was ending and proceeded to have the worst morning of my life?
(super-excessive rambling ahead. do not read the whole of it.)
so i don't remember the date but it was the day of my english 10th board exam. boards are like a series of subject finals, kinda the biggest exams conducted in a student's education in india, plus they're nationalized. so yeah, a massively big deal, and obviously the first thing i do waking up on this massively important day is open tumblr. there are about seventy messages and i'm confused cause i think i barely "talked" to ten people back then, but before i've even checked them out, the first post i see is a textpost about how the longest running joke universally across fandoms is that 'spn has been going on way too long and needs to end' but now that it is ending, all people can do is cry about it. for some reason, i don't process that post as fact™, assuming they mean a general "ending" instead of a "j2m announced last season" ending. anyways i move on to my messages, and all of them are people who've freaking the fuck out for at least a few hours (the advantages of being in a timezone different from of most people) and i go to my activity, still stunned, and someone's tagged me in a meta of some kind, and i check it out completely dazed and it's got gifs (already!) of the three of them standing there with teary eyes and jensen actually saying the words everyone had been screaming about in the chats, and it finally hits me that it's ending, supernatural is ending, it's going to be OVER, and it's already been decided when. obviously, the tears start, and literally crying in my bed, still under the comforter, i think i watched the video twice, without headphones in fact, which is extremely weird because i virtually NEVER do that, but as if anything else mattered at the moment!
i don't remember what all i felt in those moments but one of the thoughts that REALLY stood out was that i wish, wish, wish it lasted just one more year — so maybe supernatural could end at the same time as highschool ended for me, and it'd feel like the end of a phase of my life, but no, according to what they predicted (and not even kidding, now it's even worse) supernatural was going to end smack in the middle of senior year for me, obviously a super important, super stressful year, and god, i wished so hard it'd just go on ONE MORE YEAR somehow but look what happened now it's ending like three months before my college entrance exams and the competitive engineering exams and shit which is just absolutely perfect because it's doing wonders to my attention span and mental health and yeah i'm getting off topic i'm gonna come back to the topic now
it's two am rn and i'm weirdly tired of typing so what happens next is fucking wild, but i'm gonna hurry because i need to go cry some more into a pillow or a ao3 tab or something. so like a whole HOUR later i get up from bed. i've got to get dressed and shit, most important exam of my life YET and everything. so i start brushing, obviously scrolling through tumblr, obviously failing to not cry, and my mum walks in, and she doesn't know a thing about supernatural (even if she did, she would consider the idea of me crying over them announcing an ending RIDICULOUS) so she just assumes i'm sniffling and tensed up because i'm STRESSED and she tries reassuring me like i need fucking reassurance for ENGLISH of all things. anyway anyway anyway i have maggi for breakfast i think and i'm still pretty out of it and stuff but i get dressed in my uniform and put on the fucking blazer though its HOT outside but i like wearing the school blazer for exams but i underestimated how much of a physically draining effect the news and reacting to it would have on me, so then there's me sweating literal buckets and then we set off.
we're already late in leaving the house (why, i don't remember) and once we're at the centre, and my parents have dropped me off and wished me luck, i go to the gate, right. and THEN the guard gestures to my uniform and tells me i'm missing my fucking class ID. now i know i'm late so i panic on cue because shit shit shit i'm gonna be even more late, and i legit turn and look for mum and dad (we weren't allowed to carry our mobiles for the test) and what i see is that they've reversed the car and are about to drive out the gate and obviously my brain isn't really working so i fucking RUN AFTER THE CAR, like, i'm really not an athletic person, i avoid running as much as i possibly can, and i fucking lose my shit and chase the car down in like ten seconds of running cause it's only like ten metres away actually but the highlight of it all is that i run. in a public space. unprompted. with a shitload of emotions and anxiety and panic, and i basically almost sob in relief when dad immediately stops the car and pretty much pulls me in and tells me to stop worrying cause the house is like ten minutes away and i might miss the general waiting part and stuff but i wasn't gonna miss the exam. so THEN we start driving back and obviously because they are who they fucking are, they start arguing about which of them is at fault for this and who was supposed to check in on me carrying my seriously important ID and other crap, and then obviously they're yelling and that does even more wonders for my state of practically hysteria, but i hold it together until we get home and i get the ID (which is on the bed, probably was under my blazer or something) and we set back off, and i know we're late, and i know supernatural is ending, and i know it's going to take a part of me really, and mum and dad just won't stop yelling at each other about god knows what, and i manage to squeeze in the first time in SO many years that i cry in front of my parents right there in the backseat, and they're sort of stunned because i really don't cry (in front of people) and then there's just me losing it in a mixture of helplessness and nerves and anger for some reason and just. whoa.
ANYWAYS we get to the centre (in time for the exam, but like fifteen minutes later than i SHOULD have gotten there) and dad talks to the teacher and stuff and it works out because obviously it's a really important exam they're not going to make me skip it, and i go straight to my classroom — also did i mention these exams aren't held in our own schools but like, different test centres, so basically a different room and desk each day in a different school from mine, ugh, i hate new places — and i find out i have the FIRST bench of the second column which lowkey sucks because it's too public really, but at least my best friend's sitting like diagonally from me on the left, and my friends are basically sprinkled around the classroom as well and i see them eyeing me worriedly cause they were scared i might miss the exam but also because i was a MESS with bloodshot eyes and an outofit look in them and did i mention i was sweating like a dog all this time wearing a blazer because i'm just that idiot because yeah.
so then i calm myself down the best i can. sitting under a fan helps, taking off my stupid blazer helps, and seeing dish (beforementioned best friend) helps — because apparently she heard about the ending too (she's not in the fandom she just keeps up with news for my sake, yes, im very lucky to have her) and tries to cheer me up about it, but then it's time for the paper, and they give them out and...yeah.
three hours later, the exam ends, and i step out of that hall the most mentally exhausted i've been in YEARS. also i swear off tumblr until i've had lunch and napped and stuff because i was also functioning on extremely little sleep but i really think that part was obvious.
as it goes, i ended up getting a 95% in that paper :)
but to this date, my sister jokes about how i ended up getting my personal least marks of that year in english of all subjects which was supposed to be of my strongest suit heh all because of a six-ish minute video released in a different part of the world about something that wasn't even going to happen that year...and like. yeah.
that's it.
that's the story.
#you're advised not to engage#this gets long and messy#even though it's something i'm not mad about rn#but dee thought this would be a good way to release the sheer weight of supernatural ending tomorrow off my heart so yeah#i ranted my ass off#tw rant#ish?#personal#to delete
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