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turtle-steverogers · 5 years

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weed brownies

merry christmas eve to those that celebrate it

warnings: uh race is high, dumbassery

ship: ralbert

editing: no

In the hospital was not how Race imagined spending Christmas Eve. Yet here he was, head lolling uncontrollably to the side as he regained consciousness.

His eyes stung as he peered around the room, trying to tap back into his surroundings. He became distinctly aware that he wasn’t alone as his gaze fell upon a young nurse, dressed in light blue scrubs, standing as the foot of his hospital bed. He was fairly attractive with red hair that curled at the nape of his neck and a strong jawline that seemed to set as he squinted at what Race assumed to be his medical files.

Before he could help himself, Race began laughing, “You’re pretty,” he giggled out.

The nurse looked up at him, eyebrows raising in amusement, “Oh good, you’re awake,” He set down Race’s files and crossed to the side of his bed, holding out a hand, which Race took clumsily, “I’m Dr. Albert, do you know where you are?”

Race nodded, “M’at the hospital.”

“Good okay, do you know why?”

Race scrunched up his nose, thinking for a moment before shaking his head.

“You ate five consecutive weed brownies and passed out,” Albert said, “Your roommate called 911.”

“Spottie?” Race asked, looking around the room for his friend.

“He’s in the waiting room,” Albert supplied.

“Oh,” Race frowned, pausing a moment to smack his lips together a few times. His mouth was very dry, “Am I high?”

Albert bit back a laugh, “Yes, very,” He glanced around, pulling up a chair next to the bed and sitting down, “Pro tip, if you’re gonna do edibles, don’t. You get way too high, way too fast. Stick to blunts or dab pens, ‘cause that way, you’re not tempted to keep eating.”

Race blinked at him, dumbfounded, “Aren’t...aren’t you a nurse? Why are you telling me how to get high?”

Albert opened his mouth to answer, but another voice cut through, “He’s a grade A expert on the art of weed, that’s why,” another nurse entered, “Hey there, I’m Dr. Michael, but Mush is good, too. You’re Antonio I assume?”

“Race,” Race said, pointing at Mush, “I like Race better.”

Albert and Mush exchanged amused glances, “Alright,” Mush said, clapping his hands together, “Race it is. Now, I’m just gonna check your vitals real quick if you’ll give me a moment.”

Race furrowed his brow, scooting away from Mush’s stethoscope, “Why can’t the hot one do it.”

This time, Mush and Albert really did laugh, “Because,” Mush said, matter-of-factly, “I’m his supervisor and technically he’s observing.”

“Oh,” Race shrugged, “Okay, stethoscope me.”

Mush chuckled, shaking his head as he went through Race’s vitals, “Alrighty, despite the fact that you’re high as a kite, you’re all good.”

“Why, uh, why, my good meatball, is Albert a weed expert?” Race asked.

“Did you...call me your good meatball? You know what, nevermind,” Mush waved a hand, before clapping Albert on the back, “Mr. Red here is high quite often-“

“I performed open heart surgery perfectly while high once,” Albert cut in triumphantly.

“It was an appendectomy.”

“Tomato-tomahto.”

“Not really.”

“Anyway,” Albert hit Mush’s shoulder good naturedly, “I also did my interview high and impressed Mush here. He couldn’t even tell.”

“Yeah,” Mush looked sideways at Albert, grinning, “I’m not really sure why he hasn’t been fired yet, but,” he shrugged, “It’s fine.”

“Anyway,” Mush secured the stethoscope back around his neck, “I’ll leave Albert to wrap things up here,” he shook Race’s hand, “Good to meet you, Race.”

He left, squeezing Albert’s shoulder fondly as he did so.

“Alright, so you’re free to go,” Albert said, helping Race out of bed, “Oh, but first,” He made sure Race was standing steadily enough before grabbing a card from his counter, “My number, in case you have any more questions about weed.” he said.

Race blinked, a smirk stretching across his features, “So...strictly business?”

Albert winked, “Strictly business.”

Race eyes widened and he blushed, “Holy shit that was hot.”

“Right back atcha.”

creds to saph for some of that dialogue

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try

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@spec-s-pecs

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@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

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@musical-shitposts

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@faithmil

#newsies #racetrack higgins #newsies fic #albert dasilva #ralbert #chaotic boys #mush meyers #yeet yeet wheat skeet #what ifiots #idiots*

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incorrect-spiderson · 5 years

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Things from the Meme Team Pt. 2

Shuri: Ur mom gay

Peter: HA HA! Jokes on you! My mom is... dead.

Peter: Can I touch it?

Shuri: No

Peter: Can I look at it?

Shuri: No

Peter: Can I sniff it?

Shuri: ... why would you sniff it?

Shuri, recording: This is the best thing I have ever seen

Peter, doing the sponge on the ceiling: ALL RIGHT YOU INVERTEBRATES!

Peter, swings by road work: Road Work ahead? Uh yeah. I sure hope it does!

Shuri, clapping from the ground: You’re doing great sweetie!

Shuri: Let’s do something evil

Peter: Oo like what?

Shuri: Cookies?

Peter: I’ll grab the raisins

Shuri: Oh my Thor! Peter are you okay?

Peter, bleeding on the ground: I’m fine! Just leaking some bone juice.

#peter parker #avengers endgame #shuri #avengers #marvel #mcu #meme team #yeet skeet and get the wheat

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ciroisoeso · 5 years

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Yeet skeet let’s get this wheat

Best of luck in your wheat acquisition mission, yeet

(Requests: up to 13 words • Commissions: open, DM to discuss • For $5 I’ll lacquer a past request and send it to you as a postcard • PayPal/Kofi: Eosphoros)

#yeet skeet let’s get this wheat #calligraphy #calligraphy request #foundational #my calligraphy #injoke

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trash0receptacle · 3 years

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Shit post

Happy Holidays

*during truth or dare*

Asmo: Truth or dare Mc?

Mc: Dare I guess

Asmo: Let us go through your phone from the human world for two minutes

Mc: (internal panic) fine but it’s very O d d

*they stumble upon mc’s list of quotes some of which are uhh interesting*

Mammon: Mc why did you say “I love eating ass?!?!”

Mc: If that’s what gave you ptsd don’t read the rest of the list

Mc: (annoyed) Lucifer can suck my dick for all I care

Mammon: W-

Mc and Levi: It’s a figure of speech

*After school or something*

Mc: uhhhhh

Satan: Are you alright mc?

Mc: (yes this is something I’ve said when very sleep deprived) I want to yeet then skeet while I eat the wheat

Satan: Mc wtf

Beel: They want toast

Satan: How-

Mc: don’t question it

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typicalmidnight · 5 years

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yeet skeet wheat

#leea's life

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pepsi-is-me · 5 years

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Nice stuff dude! I too am somewhat learning calligraphy :) so I have a request: yeet skeet wheat (also do you tag people with your calligraphy?)

I’ve only just started calligraphy, this is all for practice. I tagged all the usernames that I wrote on my own and posted. but I don’t have a tag list or anything like that. I’ve never been popular enough for that lol 🙃

#asks #calligraphy

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sunsetsorsandalwood · 4 years

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my brother and i have this game where one of us says yeet and then we just rhyme it back and forth. one thread went “yeet” “skeet” “wheat” “reet” “delete” “deplete” “meet “heat” “meat” “you already said that” “no i didn’t. ham versus hello” “huh” and then we continued to blast defenceless by king louis

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incorrect-spiderson · 5 years

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Things from the Meme Team Pt. 1

Peter: It’s a simple yeet, skeet, and get the wheat.

Shuri: Alright understood

Shuri: What are those!!

Peter, dead frickin serious: They are my crocs you crusty dusty dinosaur

Shuri: Oh my god, you are a furry

Peter: NO... I’m a buggy thank you very much

Peter: That doesn’t go there

Shuri: Excuuuuuuse me? Did you design and create every single piece of tech in Wakanda? No. No you didn’t.

Peter: It’s gonna explode if you-

Shuri: I KNOW WHAT IM DOING BI-

*Expolsion*

Peter: What’s your spirit meme?

Shuri: Oh that is tough. I think it would be PePe

Peter: Nah, I think you’re more of an angry Arthur

Shuri: Yes, you are right. You would be a solid surprised Patrick

Peter, working in lab at 3 am: Imma make coffee, how do you take it? Wait, don’t say it! Black like your soul?

Shuri, deadass stare: No.... okay yes. Damn.

#peter parker #shuri #meme team #memes are hard for old people #avengers #marvel #mcu #hashtag hastag

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