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thelightningawardsofficial · 4 years

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Review | Bet On It!

Judged by Amy (daedaliaaan)

Category: Love Is In The Air

[ Author: xxsakuchiixx ]

Title (3/5): "Bet on IT!" is a well-fitting title to the plot and summary. It's a clever way to attract intrigue from readers by capitalizing "IT" - despite not being a fan of capitalized titles, this works in your favor as it highlights the significance of the bet as the main plot of your story. I deducted a few points because I felt like the title was rather simplistic when it could have been developed more to sound interesting without explicitly referring to the bet to add a sense of mystery to it.

Summary (7/10): Your summary has a generous amount of the general plot described without spoiling too much despite being made of only 3 sentences, which is impressive, given that you were able to deliver a decent overview of the plot that does build reader's curiosity. The use of a question is an excellent addition to invoke further intrigue towards your story. However, I felt that it could have been developed more creatively, possibly using metaphors or the like to spice the summary up.

Plot (21/25): The concept of "love blossoming from a bet" is no stranger in fanfiction. It all comes down to the effort placed to make it unique as its own. Your plot was simple and well-written, with a steady amount of pacing and events that weren't too far apart within a single one-shot, however the plot could be further developed into a longer story to explore more in-depth characterization and scenes. An odd event in the plot that I found peculiar was how quick the table turned when after Atsuya offered Ohiyoko the umbrella to the scene where Ohiyoko's brother is rushed to the hospital. This scene in particular seemed very rushed, when such a change in behavior and emotions could be portrayed throughout a longer period of time in the story. A personal favorite of mine is the ending of the story. While many fics with the same plot concept would leave the bet unfinished, having Ohiyoko take no offense to being betted on and instead used it in her favour towards Atsuya is brilliant.

Characterization (20/20): I will begin to comment on Fubuki Atsuya's characterization. I really enjoyed how you presented Atsuya's character. He is the perfect amount of mischievous and confident that is still entertaining to read - many fics tend to exaggerate his confidence to the point he is painted as a jerk, but yours was just enough to keep Atsuya loveable to readers. I believe Atsuya to have a very dynamic character and you managed to write him as such. Ohiyoko's characterization was well-presented as well. Her seriousness and strictness was fun to read in contrast to Atsuya's cheekiness, and her playful mannerism nearing the end was enough to keep her character likeable without suddenly being invested in Atsuya for no reason. The interactions between both characters were very entertaining to read and never once boring!

Grammar and Writing Style (14/15): You have excellent grammar that is consistent and well-presented with the plot which makes it really easy to read. Not much for me to comment on this section, however, there are a few minor mistakes that can be quickly fixed, such as "in compare" should be "in comparison," and "too considered" should be "too considerate." Overall, your writing style is simple yet capable of good delivery of the plot.

Originality (6/10): In terms of originality, the idea of romance blooming from what was initially a bet is a cliché trope found throughout many fics across many fandoms. There have been many interpretations of the trope and it takes lots of creativity to be able to take the concept and make it unique on their own. The originality points I have given you are to appreciate your excellent attempt to take this trope and apply it to Inazuma Eleven, especially with a feisty character like Fubuki Atsuya. Despite having the typical trope of having the male bet on getting the female character to fall for him, I especially would like to applaud you for creating a surprising end to your story! Instead of making the second character angry or spiteful knowing that they were the subject of a bet, you made them aware of it beforehand and instead jump into the bandwagon of "making a bet". I find this part of your story very intriguing and fun to read, knowing that their rivalry will not die down by a blooming romance which really adds more energy to their dynamic.

Total [Raw] 80/100 [Final] 80%

Banner by -artxyuki

#review #bet on IT!#love is in the air #fubuki atsuya #original character #comedy #inazuma eleven #fanfiction.net

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sakuchii-fanfiction · 6 years

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It’s To-Do List Time!

I’m not sure how many of noticed, but my first multi-chapter SHOCK! Inazuma Surprise has finally been fully added to tumblr. Something worth of mentioning is that I created a wattpad account. So now you can find me on four sites!

FFN - Sakuchii Ao3 - Sakuchii Wattpad - xxsakuchiixx Tumblr - You’re Here

Now I’m a person with busy life style and someone who can’t always keep her thoughts together, so I decided to create myself to-do list, so that I know what things I should prioritize. This post will be modified and alive all the time. Once something has been ruled out it means I have accomplished that mission.

1. Fix Tumblr Site

Fix tumblr links Add prev/next links to SHOCK! Inazuma Add summary to SHOCK! Inazuma Edit one-shot headings!

2. Update one-shots to wattpad

3. Update Inazuma SHOCK to Ao3

4. Add 4 Profiles of The Scattered Beaker to Inazuma AU Profiles

1. Kishibe Taiga 2. Kirino Ran 3. Yukimura Hyouga 4. Zangeki Sato/Okazaki Airi

5. Update Inazuma SHOCK to wattpad

6. Update Cry of A Fallen Crow on FFN [Haikyuu! story]

7. Update Cry of A Fallen Crow on Ao3 [Haikyuu! story]

Chapter 21 Chapter 22

8. Rewrite Chapters of Sentimental Domination

1. Chapter 3 2. Chapter 4 3. Chapter 5

9. Write a chapter of The Scattered Beaker and update it on FFN

Chapter 6

10. Post Chapters of Sentimental Domination on Tumblr

1. Chapter 1 2. Chapter 2 3. Chapter 3 4. Chapter 4 5. Chapter 5

#inazuma news #to do list #inazuma eleven #inazuma eleven go #inazuma eleven au profiles #sakuchii fanfiction #sakuchii #this thing will be alive #keep on editing #when will I get all this done

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xsakulumix · 6 years

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Suomi 100 - Finland 100 Years

Tomorrow is a memoriable day for all Finns. We have prepared for this all year long and finally it’s here! Tomorrow on 6.12. Finland is celebrating it’s 100th year of idependency. On 6.12 in 1917 Finland declared to be idepended country and we have stood tall ever since, for 100 years.

To take part in this celebration in my social platforms, I have decided to change my icon photo’s to Hetalia’s Finland - because what else could be the best way to repsent our country to everyone else via anime. The icon’s will be on for today and tomorrow to celebrate the anniversay of out country. In my main blog the theme “blue and white” will remain for the rest of the December.

See my platforms here

Tumblr @xxsakuchiixx @sakuchii-fanfiction @thoseanimereviews @thosemangascenes

Fanfiction @sakuchii

Facebook @sakuchii.lumichan

#suomi100 #finland #hetalia #hetalia finland #tumblr #fanfiction #facebook #celebration #finland theme #personal stuff #i'm so proud #6.12 #idependency day #happy birthday to finland

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thelightningawardsofficial · 5 years

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ιиαzυмα яє¢σя∂ѕ

ＳＥＡＳＯＮＴＨＲＥＥ

Read all the entries here!

ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀɴᴛs

Ⓖⓔⓝⓔⓡⓐⓛ

Rainbow_Phoenix2006 with The Unfinished Avatar (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

AllvishTOV with Inazuma Eleven: Beyond The Dream (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

Inazuma_Yoshi with The White Wolf: The Revival of Aliea Gakuen (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

Ⓘ'ⓜ Ⓝⓞⓣ Ⓐ Ⓜⓐⓡⓨ Ⓢⓤⓔ

Beneath_the_Trees with Louder Than Thunder (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ: ʏᴜᴋɪᴍᴜʀᴀ ʏᴏʀᴜ (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

daedaliaaan with Epistolary (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ: ᴀᴍʏ ᴊᴀᴄᴋsᴏɴ

Snowwhitewolf09 with Evanescence (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ: ᴋᴜʀᴏɢᴀɴᴇ sᴜᴀʙᴀʀᴀ

ArimaMary with KATHAROS (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ: ʀʏᴜᴜɢᴀᴍɪɴᴇ ᴋɪʏᴏsʜɪ

Zack_Hunter with IE: Takeover (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ: ɴᴀsʜɪᴏ ᴍᴀsᴀʜɪʀᴏ

Jana_Inazuma with Weapon or Game 1: The Comeback (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ: ᴊᴀɴᴇ ᴡᴏʟғ

Ⓢⓘⓜⓟⓛⓔ Ⓘⓢ Ⓑⓔⓢⓣ

Tieg2001 with Northern Star (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

ArimaMary with Red Spider Lily (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

Irisviel101 with The Price of Ignorance (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

@ozrockbitway with Descent To Darkness (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ)

Ⓛⓞⓥⓔ Ⓘⓢ Ⓘⓝ Ⓣⓗⓔ Ⓐⓘⓡ

Tieg2001 with Spectral Illusion (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ)

@sakuchii-fanfiction (xxsakuchiixx) with Bet On IT! (sᴜʙᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ)

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thelightningawardsofficial · 5 years

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Judge Sakuchii

ᴜsᴇʀɴᴀᴍᴇ: xxsakuchiixx

ʜᴏsᴛ: Love Is The Air ①

sɪᴛᴇs ᴜsᴇᴅ: Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, Achieve of Our Own and Tumblr

ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴏғ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ: Almost 8 years

ᴅᴜʙ/sᴜʙ ɴᴀᴍᴇs: Strictly Sub

sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ: Original, GO, Chrono Stone, Half of Galaxy and Ares (note: I’m not up to date). ②

ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ ʜɪɢʜᴇsᴛ ᴀᴄʜɪᴇᴠᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ: I consider Korishabetto – The Tale of A Prince and A Pauper and Cry of A Fallen Crow as my highest achievements. But do take into notice that both of the stories are still in baby’s shoes in Wattpad. Too see my old style take a peek at my stories on FFN.

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs: Romance, drama, coming of age, comedy, slice-of-life

ʀᴇsᴛʀɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴs: Non-romance fics, harem without final/clear pairing.

ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs: All my writing preferences & detective, mystery stories. Also, stories where the characters are adults, have families and deal with adults’ problems.

ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs: I write about romance, drama, slice of life, youth, comedy and adventure as the base/main genre. Also, I mostly write SYOC’s, OC-centric stories that are AU’s and some fairytale-based. I have also written a next gen. fic.

ᴄʀɪᴛɪǫᴜᴇ sᴘᴇᴄɪғɪᴄs: For AU’s I’ll judge the plot and AU personalities. On romance I will judge how well the characters fit (or don’t) together and the canon characters personality while “in love” – how they show their affection for e.g. Also OC’s, plot and romance aspect of the story.

ᴘᴀʏᴍᴇɴᴛ: Wished to be done after the entry and before I start judging.

⚡️ A permanent follow on Wattpad (and/or any other site you’re using).

⚡️ If you wish your OC to be reviewed, a 3+ lines honest review on four Korishabetto chapters of your own choice.

① I can also judge for “I Am Not Mary Sue” story that has romance as its main genre.

② Despite having watched most of the series, I feel myself most comfortable with stories that include charcters from original series.

do you think this judge will make your story shine? to enter, complete this form and submit it to us!

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