"Steve, are you listening to me?"

Steve snaps back into focus, his attention falling from the dreamlike headspace he'd been in and crash landing back to Earth.

He doesn't mean to drift, he just- he can't help it when the shirt he's wearing rubs just right over the long scratches Eddie had left on his back last night.

When he can feel the individual bruises from each of Eddie's fingers where they had grabbed his hips, had pulled him back to meet every sharp snap of Eddie's own.

When his scalp still tingles from where his hair had been grabbed, his head wrenched back and out of the bedding because "I wanna hear every noise that comes out of that pretty fucking mouth, baby."

He'd barely been able to sit in his car this morning thanks to the stinging handprints that had been left on his ass and thighs, and he's reminded of each bite and bruise left over his collar bones - and his shoulders, and his chest - with every beat of his heart.

And he can't- he can't even give it as an excuse because Robin doesn't know- no one else knows yet that Eddie is alive, that he made his way back topside, that he's different.

No one else knows that he's been feeding off of Steve and the younger has been begging him for it, for the aches and the pains and the best fucking sex he's ever had in his life.

Steve knows the others wouldn't approve, knows they wouldn't like him putting his life at risk even though it means keeping Eddie alive, keeping him as close to human as he can get right now.

So instead he gives an apologetic smile and pushes a hand through his hair, tries to push those thoughts to the back of mind, to save them for later.

"Yeah, sorry Robs, I'm listening."

Is being critical of Sabine’s force sensitivity ‘gatekeeping’ the force or it is about how it undermines the established magic system and was not well written?

I’ll give you a clue it’s the second one.

Thank you @luckylocus for bringing this back to my attention (a while ago but I haven't stopped thinking about it)

I don't have to say it, right? "It's literally just a jacket-" sshhh, it's Billy's jacket, the duffers told me

heehee (pepstavo under the cut)

I actually love Vulcans’ self control and I love it when they’re portrayed as very purposely composed and level headed, like there’s just something about them appearing emotionless because they put in so much effort and discipline into it

But I do love jokes about the small things getting to them, like they’re perfectly in control of themselves after getting hit with some weird pollen while everyone else is affected but then later on you do a stupid lil pun and they have to walk away quickly so they don’t show any emotion

i guess what im trying to say is

i love you .

@201-klz-dead

hello! i am back with yet another…thing. thank u for the tag @lovelymasks <3 (i realised, upon second reading, that this was supposed to be a sunday snippet but i’m an idiot n therefore this is now a saturday snippet mwuah)

I think you should go to a Healer, Sirius. 

Why, he’d asked, flippant. What was there to do with a Healer when you were a convict on the run? Besides, Sirius was wrong in a way that couldn’t be made right. He was past the point of return. Healers would’ve barely known what to do with him before Azkaban, let alone in the condition he was in now. 

Because you look like a stiff wind will blow you over, Harry’d answered, though the answering flippancy didn’t quite land the way he intended because what Sirius heard was ‘Because I don't want to lose anyone else.’ 

What Harry didn't say, and Sirius didn’t want to hear, was ‘Because I can’t lose another parent.’

He quietly acquiesced after that. The trembling, hopeful smile growing on his godson’s face was enough to wipe away all apprehensions after that. 

Until now, when Harry was at Hogwarts, and he was second guessing this whole business. 

Did he really need a Healer, like, really?

One look at the mirror in front of him gave him a solid, sturdy answer. 

He was dressed in his old rags and it was a testament to the conditions of Azkaban that clothes from when he was younger, before hitting his final growth spurts, were barely just fitting him now. Sirius’ back was almost constantly bent these days--all days spent curled up in a ball seemed to have reshaped his skeletal structure, who knew--each vertebrae gaining a distinct notch in the column of his skin. His stomach was a fascinating blend of too small and too bloated. He couldn’t keep anything down, but he wasn’t able to eat much either. A mystery for the ages. 

Less said about his face, the better. Sirius wasn’t vain, never had any reason to be, but there was a certain…pride he’d maintained, a level of outward appearance that was considered bare minimum for a Black, a conditioning he’d never managed to shake off. 

It was that conditioning itching at him now, turning him away from any reflective surface before he could see his distorted features, grotesque and inhuman, staring back at him. 

And ultimately, it was that, he realised with a shameful sort of guilt, that pushed him to see a Healer. Not his godson’s pleading look, not concern for his wellbeing--but leftovers from an upbringing that he hated, his mother’s words he couldn’t stop hearing, his father’s sharp commands. 

Ultimately, it was his blood that made him give in, as it always did. 

further tagging @jmagnabo92 @soopsiedaisies @groundzero-v 💜

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

i’m so overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming...

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

Hello, I've been reading your spideypool fics for a long time and it's been a year since you write one, I'm not sure if you get this kind of words enough but I still wanna say it, honestly jillian you're the best spideypool author I ever meet, I fall inlove with the way you write both peter and wade inside or outside their vigilante/anti-superhero identity.

The way you make their relationship and slowly building up their tension is so satisfying, I couldn't get enough and you set my fics standard high too, I can't find anyone that could capture their dynamic as good as you and I alwayd reread everything you write. If i could I would like to make them as physical books but I can't cuz money (and my parent would ask what kind of book is that and eh..) Anyway, I hope you're alright with your personal stuff and live is doing great for you. I miss you and your writing.

Sincerely,

your fans

wow!!!! i'm so touched by this sweet message, i really can't thank you enough! 🥺 i'm so glad you enjoy my spideypool and my writing!!!

i've definitely been facing some writer's block in the last year, which is annoying and really frustrating at times. at the same time, my life has gotten a lot busier in a lot of really fun ways, like with new friends and hobbies and a relationship. i would love love love to get back to writing spideypool in the future! but at this point, it mostly feels like i have to wait for inspiration to strike. every time i sit down and force myself to try to write spideypool (or pretty much anything recently), i don't manage to get very far and just end up frustrating myself even more. so!!! here's hoping that the writing worm works its way back into my brain sometime soon. but in the meantime, i'm having a lot of fun and happiness and growth and love in my life :)

just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline

what if i snapped and made an oc carrd

recent lounging babey images

having a stare down with this virgin simon smut sitting in my drafts that i want to finish so bad but the words just aren’t coming to me :((

hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way. 

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear? 

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine. 

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together. 

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)