#would possibly read ngl
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Entire plot line to an adult fantasy novel in the search bar
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Oooo starstruck dee has little stars at the bottom of her feet! Are they just aesthetic or would they make imprints into the ground? (like pawprints)
exactly like that! though she's not the only one...
edit: might need to add some additional dialogue to this to make it more clear, but a clarification in the interim; he knows about his own footprints. he's just surprised to see something similar already there when he knows he's only just landed. he lifts his own shoe to confirm that they're not identical (and also to reveal this to the viewer). seems his stoicism beat off the clarity in this one, sorry 😭
#meta knight#starstruck dee#have had this one sitting around for *months* while i bit my nails on posting it#and then i thought maybe i *shouldn't* during the shipaganza bc it's not a direct prompt; though i do think you can read it that way#and for ~Reasons~ i needed to post this one sooner rather than later so i had to bite the bullet.#though meta knight has understandably been the second most prompted. they do indeed have the Funnest Possible Dynamic for it#stoic guy and the bug eyed little Creature he doesn't really trust as far as he could throw her (long long way)#so just to clarify this one is NOT for the shipaganza but you can read it that way if you want to#this is just a canon scene between them from her storyline. this is just something they canonically share. starry eyed idiots.#also fwiw i think i probably picked up the shoe-patterns for the knights from postitnotes7#been a headcanon in the back of my mind for a long while but i'm pretty sure i osmosis'd it from their work#especially after drawing post's designs so much for the hnkss. i temporarily forgot how i used to draw their armour ngl#and also btw starstruck deetectives psspsps#i'm planning a much better post about this later (probably in march) but i'm going to start using this tag for Important Posts for y'all#🎀🔍#<- for the starstruck deetectives when there's something significant in the post.#i worry about making it 'too easy' but also want stuff to be accessible. it's just for fun? the OC lore game! ARG but it's just my oc.#that would be fun right? maybe? is that too indulgent? i could probably pull it off if folks were actually interested enough to participate#anyway!! go to bed starflung#also if you read this far: anon is open again! still open for shipaganza prompts but i'm not gonna be finished them in february 😂
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Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all.
You can also find this on ao3.
No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner.
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request
If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#woop it sure has been quite the burst of creative energy lately#especially since this has apparently been sitting in my drafts since last august#but now you have it#I certainly can’t promise to keep up with this rate of writing (in fact I can promise I won't) but hey let's enjoy it while it lasts#and yes I’m hopping on the “jamil using arabic terms of endearment” train#I’ve read so many fics doing that that at this point it feels more natural than english ngl#even if english would probably be more canonical#also is it a *good* way to go about it to just pretty much just force someone to rest like this? probably not#is it sometimes the only way to get stubborn people to stop for a bit? perhaps#and is it something I might do?#...possibly#also oh boy can you tell that I'm avoiding jamil's dialogue like the plague lately?#I really need to reread so much of his stuff to get a hang of his voice again#(also if you notice typos pls tell me because they always bug me)#(or other wonkiness because I'm not a native speaker and sometimes things just go silly)#anyways hope y'all enjoy!
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2023 reads
Wren Martin Ruins It All
YA contemporary romcom
student council president proposes to cut the school valentine’s dance because it's expensive and alienating for queer/single people, but instead the vice president (who he adamantly hates for being perfect) suggests they get sponsored by a popular friendship app
he decides to secretly give the app a go to “know his enemy” but ends up making a friend, and starts to catch feelings for him...and maybe realises the guy he hates isn't actually so bad either...
ace mlm MC, aro-questioning side character
I loved this so much! great MC with a funny internal monologue
despite the title most issues or misunderstanding are sorted out pretty quickly rather than drawn out for the drama and plot. which is refreshing
I was a little nervous about the concept of ‘ace hates the school dance and wants it shut down’ - there's a bit of a stereotype of aspecs being boring Fun Haters - but I think it did a really good job of showing the specifics of why, not dragging it out, and also that he’s just a snarky fun hater in general with not much weight behind it.
There’s also no discovering of sexuality or big coming out (just one-on-one) - he already knows he’s ace, and it comes up naturally a bunch, talking about how dances etc can feel isolating, the way the friendship app called buddy being called ace-friendly can feel infantilizing, avoiding dating because of the stress of having to check upfront if people about it, etc.
I would have liked to know more about his relationship with his mum? Though I understand that it’s clearly something he avoids thinking about - going too deep into his relationship with his parents might have changed the tone a lot. but still.
ARC from netgalley thanks netgalley
#wren martin ruins it all#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#asexual books#ngl as soon as i was like oh this boy is elliot schafer coded i was a lost cause#(re aro character - I have noticed a bit of a trend of “maybe aromantic but I don’t like labels” in YA#contemporary recently that I don’t love - but it’s not an inherent issue with this book)#I’ve read a lot of YA contemporary books where the portrayal of social media and made up apps doesn’t feel right; but this one did to me!#maybe it’s because it’s from the POV of someone’s who’s cynical about it.#(and types no punctuation no capitalisation…I could see my online-communication style reflected back at me…)#Even the confrontation at the end where feelings are confessed isn’t made into some big dramatic thing in front of everyone with no#communication. But it also doesn’t feel emotionally anticlimactic.#(maybe a couple of the reveals in the confession felt unnecessarily dramatic to me? like the story would have functioned without them. )#but it's common for comtemporary ya to overdramatise silly things for the plot and im glad this didn't#possibly this is just my adult opinion about teen narratives.#The adult characters (even though they’re mostly background) feel like real people.#and it has some good friendships. also he has chickens and they are very good#it did become increasingly obvious that it was the same ppl but also they’re emotionally stupid. and like….it's part of the genre.#we all know this going in.
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listen i know that the star rail girls suffer from "same character design" but i got mildly obsessed with a bit of ruan mei's design because of one particular detail and that is:
it's this particular bit where the DNA strands are joined together by the plum blossom she's named after.
in order for DNA to be replicated, it has to be unwound by a protein called helicase which then allows for the reading of the DNA to create the new strands. I felt like it was fitting that like the plum blossom unraveling the DNA in her design, she's also trying to unravel the truths of the world and get to its essence.
#was it actually intentional? who knows! but i do like the thought alskdjfahl#like idk#helicase is the first step on DNA replication - it unwinds/unzips the DNA so that another protein can read each nucleotide and produce a ne#strand#in a similar fashion ruan mei does the same trying to unravel what makes an aeon or life or etc and tries to reproduce it#utterly fails but YOU KNOW YOU GET THE POINT#anyways i like ruan mei but i think she does the same thing that a certain other scientist does for me#where im holding my head in my hands like mAAM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING STOPPPPPP STOP GIRL STOPPPPPPP#snow plays hsr#anyways i finished the first new trailblazer continuance (finally) and i have cats :) weeeeeeee#ruan mei#ngl i wonder just how many geneticist jokes are in ruan mei's design/abilities/etc#i would crunch on them if possible but alskjdfhal i probably shouldnt fixate#hsr#im just tagging these two for myself but its fine
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angsty vance
that is all 👍
“Why haven’t the adults helped me”
#vance hopper fanart#vance the black phone#tbp vance fanart#the black phone fanart#the black phone#the black phone fandom#pippi art#albert shaw#the grabber#I headcannon Albert worked at the Grab n Go thanks to a fanfic I read#like it’s the perfect place to scope out children and see who’s who and who hangs around who too#I think the Grabber probably stalked Vance for a long time. possibly trying to befriend him to lower his guard. to try and get him to trust#him.#Vance probably found him really weird but he gave him money to play pinball so he wasn’t too worried at the time#I headcannon that Vance probably didn’t have a good home life or a lot of real friends. because who would want to hang around big bad.#pinball Vance#thinking about Vance just makes me both sad and angry because I remember being 14. being his age and just :(#it hurts me sm#this drawing actually got me really sad ngl#but I hope you like the Vance angst!#and thank you for requesting this!#yes I stole the audio from another media. I’m just too tired to add it :P
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................. not to rain down on anyone's parade but barely characterized 14 year old lucerys could never have the swag eleanor or henry had
#1#2#3#4#5#again you do you per carità i'm not here to judge anyone's taste because then i'd be a fucking hypocrite#but this still made me laugh#maybe because i never really understood the hype around luke/aemond. i mean i get it on a intellectual level#but there are so many juicier pairs in hotd that while i understand why people would ship it i'm not sure why it's so popular#no hate to the pairing or anything of course. you can ship whatever you want!#but this reeks of the usual inflated m/m ship with one (or two) fictional men with weak or barely acknowledged characterizations#while incredibly complex female characters (at least in comparison) are JUST THERE#again this is not a hate post about the ship or slash pairings (OBVIOUSLY!!)#but still. in any case the eleanor/henry dynamic fits better with rhaenicent or maybe daemyra tbh#like... even when i love a ship with all my heart i wouldn't assign *every* possible au to them but only those who fit their characters bes#if my otp is a etl ship i wouldn't want to read or write a childhood friends to lovers au because what i like about them#is that they fucking hate each other's guts and perpetually try to kill the other (before falling in love... and sometimes even after)#if a pairing is more p&p like i really couldn't get into a wuthering heights au even if i'd recognize it's magnificently written#because that's not what these characters and their dynamic are. it would be projection#at this point i would prefer to read/write about two ocs ngl#again in fandom you can do whatever you want i'm no one and i could never tell you what you can or can't like. that'd be ridiculous#and idw the op of that post to feel bad about it. it's just my personal preference/opinion on fanworks that's all#val speaks#val rambles in the tags#txt
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tfw an offhand comment from ur father makes you hella paranoid 👍
#like. he couldnt possibly be reading everything i post on the internet.#also the topic he talked about was something that was already a topic of discussion beforehand#BUT FUNNY HOW IT WAS BROUGHT UP 2 DAYS AFTER I MADE A POST ABOUT IT ON HERE#FUCKING PARANOIA GETTING MY ASS AGAIN#like it's so absurd to feel like all my actions on here are monitored and there are cameras and microphones everywhere reporting back#to my father IT'S SO ABSURD BUT THE PARANOIA!!!!!!!!!!#why else would he make that comment ?????? WHY ELSE#ngl wanna run away get a new phone and a wifi connection under my name and make a new blog and just try my hardest to NOT FEEL SURVEILLED#basically wanna disappear and emerge somewhere FAR AWAY under a different name with a different face so i can never be found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hey what if once Barbara breaks the time loop and saves jean she ends up getting yeeted into a place. Tween time and space so now there's a strange masked girl who knows about events that haven't happened yet and may or may not be traumatized af
Jean can't help but feel like she knows her, mona is stressed and Nahida is trying her best to fix the leylines of time
I think that's a very fun notion! It doesn't fit what I've ended up mapping out for the fic (I have the plot mechanisms, timeline, and major plot beats lined up and am now letting it simmer on the backburner until it thickens), and it sounds like it would be much longer than I plan to write, but I hardly have a monopoly on time loop fics if it's a direction you want to explore. :>
#or y'know wait the million years until i possibly write and post mine and make it a divergence or sequel#if you don't want to write the first bit yourself#ngl i would be very jazzed by that#but i don't ADVISE it because. listen. i jumped from outlining the time loop to adding words to the first draft of a wip from 2021#who knows when i will finish anything? (not me. i wish i did!)#in the meantime i'd love to read your idea#it's a very different direction than i ended up going and it sounds FASCINATING#asked and answered
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Tell the truth comic fans challenge. When's the last time you read a comic and how many have you actually read?
P.S. This isn't me being gatekeepy btw I'm being genuine because I'm gonna be honest I've probably only actually read about five series and every thing else I've gotten from movies/series, online, or fanon. I know all the important events. Have I actually read them? No because my ADHD just wouldn't. And I can't be assed having to read important events if it's in a shit run by a bad writer.
#Also ngl I was determined to read from the very start but. I would not have the time for that in any life so lmao#I have read quite a few of the early Batman comics and do actually hope to read as many of his as possible#But I have not actually sat and read all of the Batfam origins yet tho I intend to#I know them all and I've seen the panels just never actually sat down and gone through it all#I also have read a lot of the Golden Era Batman and Superman team up comics where they basically act like parents#Taking Dick out on family day trips. It's a fun read tbh#And back when I was a early teen and couldn't afford comics I watched YouTuber who would read them for you and tell you about them/show you#So I've read half of Batman Eternal from that but he stopped uploading vids about it which made me really sad lmao#So I need to get around to reading the rest myself/rereading it because it's been a while#I think I liked the story but wouldn't canonise it in my mind#I also read a bit of Suicide Sqaud that way I think? So that too#I totally don't pirate read Injustice#I like it but I think some of it is iffy. But that's the case with comics in general#Batman: Wayne Family Adventures is the only I actually keep up with#Probably because it's more accessible but also because it's the kind of comic I've wanted about the Batfam for ages#There's room for improvement and I would like to see how one similar to that style would be made like. In the fully canon mainstream comics#Because I'm aware it's very fanon/fan servicey but honesty after all the DC chaos we deserve it. But I would like to see more family#Urban Legends is really good. But Idk. I'm very particular about my vision lmao#Let me be a writer is what I'm saving. Or make a competant TV show *Glares at Titans*#Titans is good but God do they fucking butcher Jason and Bruce. I am sick of DC TV and film adaptions doing the Batfam dirty#Like. The animated movies#Tim just is never a thing ever. Why#Titans does have him and I like that. But I haven't watched that season ngl because I don't like how they write Bruce#Like. He doesn't. Look for cjild soldiers bruh. I'm disappointed with Titans because they coulda done so well#But Bruce is far too old and they made Dick almost murderous with him and they fucked up Jason. I haven't seen Tim's-#-Characterisation yet but I'm scared to at this point#Alfred must be fucking dead because he would be SO OLD if Bruce is already like 60 bruh. No offence to the actor but yeah.#Chella Man is the best thing about the show. Tbf I adore the cast other than Bruce. But everyone is just so OOC and it doesn't-#Stick to the comics at all#Idk it just. Isn't it lmao
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Remus is definitely the most woobified, sugar-coated marauder in fanon. He was so interesting in canon when he was portrayed as a character who was on the good side but with typical villain traits: charismatic manipulator, selfish, gaslighter, etc. His motivations were understandable too. What are your thoughts on him? How do you feel about him in fanon vs canon?
hello 💜 i absolutely agree with you! re remus: i have one super rambly answer here which i still fully stand by. also some more thoughts under a cut so remus fans can skip this one lol
honestly, fanon remus makes me so annoyed i don’t think i can even properly articulate it lol. it’s gotten so bad that people will completely forget how the man acted in the books and then have go and say ‘oh it was completely out of character for him to do x’ when like,,,,no? (i mean, if u don’t care about canon then great, just say that and we’re gucci) like i’ve literally seen people argue him trying to run out on his wife and unborn kid was ooc as if we didn’t get multiple examples of his cowardice (self admitted) and avoidance tactics. like, he was not a saint and he definitely was not a morally upstanding person. he often comes off so much more favourably compared to sirius and james when the man wasn’t any better. all his faults are whitewashed into ‘he was scared of losing the only friends he had’ which is such a shit excuse (even more than the ‘poor werewolf’ one). i once saw someone saying ‘how do you think remus would’ve reacted to harry’s illegal tournament entry’ as an aside to ‘how would sirius have reacted as a free man’ and i remember being completely baffled because…we know how he reacted? which is that he didn’t. the man didn’t even bother to send a letter to harry, didn’t show up before the task when everyone else’s families did, didn’t help him with any of the crises, wasn’t there post graveyard. like, there’s a theme here. remus has no interest in cultivating a relationship with harry (or if he does, he has a very shitty way of showing it). honestly, he’s kind of terrible at relationships in general imo.
i’ve mentioned this before, i think, but also the double standards with which he’s treated coupled with the complete lack of accountability is so frustrating. like, remus can mess up more than anyone else but it’ll never stick. for eg, you’ll have so many people saying sirius treated harry like a second coming of james (and i do blame the movies for that one) but remus’ repeated usage of james as a way to manipulate harry is completely ignored. like that scene in poa is actually cruel. sirius’ forced absence from harry’s life is thrown in his face, but remus is never once questioned. (it’s why him being called a second godfather is a pet peeve of mine tbh). he wasn’t a known werewolf until poa, what the fuck was he doing until then? that’s the thing right, there’s so many gaps in his storyline that u can fill it any way u want. fans will do it favourably, while people like me who don’t like him won’t.
there’s also the whole sirius aspect of it, for me. as far as fictional characters go, i think remus is terrible for sirius. like most people think the exact opposite, yeah? remus is out of sirius’ league, there’s a power dynamic that’s skewed in sirius’ favor, remus’ low self esteem, trust issues blah blah. but i genuinely believe it’ll be sirius who comes off worse in a r/s relationship. so ykno, that just adds to my bias lol.
editing to add: guess it’s the hallmark of a successful manipulative character, though, that he flies under the radar the way he does eh? like that’s the sign of success right there, that he can pull all the shit in the world without it sticking to him so good on him lol
#remus lupin critical#like that man literally tells a 13yo harry that he’s gambling his parents sacrifice away. fuck man. that’s heartless#and it’s not like he did anything to make harry understand why he must be careful. didn’t have one meaningful convo with him did he?#but feels the need to pass judgements like these#i’m sorry if u were expecting a more neutral/balanced answer lol#my dislike for him has exponentially increased in the past few months#i can accept he’s an interesting character bc of how utterly grey he is. but that doesn’t mean i rly like him lol#i think i could’ve? if the remus fandom wasn’t the way it was#clearly they like the fanon version of him better but i just can’t get behind it tbh#it’s just annoying how he’s constantly treated with baby gloves s’all#also!! the fanon view makes it so that the ooc tag is *never* used#so even if u want to escape it u can’t#like i’m sure someone would be like ‘well pen if u don’t like remus just stop reading & bitching?’#but that’s not possible when he’s *everywhere* and u can’t even filter it out lol#and i’m constantly living in the hope that it won’t be that way in a fic#which does happen ngl. just very rarely#pen’s asks
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CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN JJK RN
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CULLING GAME
DID SUKUNA SWITCH VESSELS
IM SO CONFUSED
#of course everything interesting happens AFTER i stop reading 😞#ngl im bordering not wanting to know but also wanting to know#yk what guys#DO NOT TELL ME WHATS GOING ON#I DONT WANNA KNOW#I DONT WANNA KNOW ANYTHING BEYOND THE CULLING GAME#IM GONNA PRETEND I NEVER SAW ANYTHING ABOUT JJK THESE PAST FEW DAYS#wait how would the culling game end tho#wouldnt kenjaku have to stop it or#bro what#was there some rule i forgot#because it seems like the culling game ended from what i see#but I don't know how that would be possible#bye#angryborzois rambles
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nerfing blurr with cube illness bc otherwise he would be too powerful
#i think abt how they quickly shoved blurr out of contact with the main cast as fast as possible#bc if he stayed with them he wouldve just ended the show too fast bc hes too competent & has overpowered speed dkfhflfjflfh#as much as i would have liked for him to be a main cast member the writers probably didnt intend for him to be super flawed#(definitely werent going to touch on things like Blurr's anxiety. bc that is mostly a fan interpretation ngl but shhhhshshhhshhhhhhh)#also they probably didnt intend for him to be a complex character either.#they just wanted him to be a snooty little bitch that cant shut up and i reapect that. i like that about him#so they just. couldnt keep him in hes got no intentionally written flaws that would stop him from just solving every problem in the show#i do however doubt they would even tackle any trauma blurr would have#since they did just magically instant heal blurr in the script reading so its like ''haha look blurr is fine dont worry abt it :)))))))''#idk man i think my point here was that blurr as a character#would need to have flaws/struggles that canon definitely did not intend to give him#& i think the only way for this to happen is fan works#that can take in info like blurr purposesly isolating himself all the time & the idea that blurr would get trauma from almost dying#and Actually elaborate on it#bc like. well tf:a is not a show that would meaningfully tackle these sorts of topics ok we gotta accept that ajdgdkhfkfhf#its funny they will somewhat address corruption in gov but i just cannot see them being like blurr voice: bumblebee i have social anxiety#IT JUST WOULDNT HAPPEN LOL this is a cartoon from pre-2010 that has Ableism The Character#they would not have the tact to handle blurr mental illness its sad but true#🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦
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thinking abt genshin
#more specifically abt teppei#there's one fanart that has got me thinking abt ruu nd teppei nd hanachirusato where they were saying farewell traveler#it fucked me up ngl but also#i was thinking abt teppei nd idk i feel like a large part of the fandom misinterpreted his character so much#i know he appeared so for a lil time but man. he rlly fucked me up#it bothers me when ppl call him useless or say he died bc he was stupid#maybe im reading too much into it but#idk teppei just wanted to be recognized. he wanted to be useful for a cause he fought#and he didnt have a vision. which of course would make it harder so when he saw the possibility of having one it was obvious he was going#to take#and idk man. that quest fucked me up so much bc teppei just wanted to be useful nd wanted to accomplish stuff and :( he wasnt able to#im sleepy so like. i cant put my thoughts into words#jo.txt
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gotta get back into like spirituality. i lost touch w it bc like life happens and i got busy and distracted but one of my friends who's very gifted gave me a tarot reading yesterday and it made me remember that like. i have that power too. i just have to build it back up like a muscle
#she bork#tbd#ngl the reading made me very anxious lol but just bc it was something i needed to hear and it basically just warned me to use caution and#discretion w money which is something that has been very very heavy on my mind lately anyway. it also told me to stop being passive and#letting uncertainty paralyze me which has also been on my mind a lot bc in december i have to move out of the house i've been in for like#four years and my bf and i both don't know what we're gonna do yet (bc like there's some stuff going on w his family that makes moving in w#his mom and paying her rent for her benefit a big contender for a next step but like idk about living w parental figure bc i'm a whole ass#adult. so he might move in w her alone but then i'd have to live alone somewhere and that would kill me i think lol) and also idk what to do#job-wise bc i want to stay at this job for at least like two years just for the experience and so i can demonstrate that like i camp out at#jobs and don't just job-hop but also it's hurting my body and it's very stressful and like i enjoy it most of the time but the bad times#feel really bad. and also i'm tired of going in at like 3 in the morning it feels like i have no life bc even if i'm off the following day#i'm too tired to stay up and do anything that night bc i woke up that morning at like 2:30. so i'm like debating looking for something more#in line w what i want to do and like how i want to live like i'd love to work from home and have energy to exercise and be healthy mentally#and physically and honestly idk if i have that rn. idk just there's lots of stuff on the horizon that's making me very anxious and i have a#tendency to freeze when i get scared and in the pst things have just tended to fall together for me but that won't work this time. this time#i have to do it myself.#so anyway i need to get back in touch w my spiritual side and open myself up to the possibilities. rn i think i just feel stuck and afraid#but if i can take the bull by the horns and actively try to improve my life then it's no big deal
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Honest to god I miss ~2013 msparp sometimes when people were complete freakozoids as a rule. People were weird IC and OOC. Every John on the website blushed, stuttered, typed with ~ :B and there was no such thing as in character in general pretty much because 99.7% or greater of the population just sucked at roleplay and some of the ettiquite was still evolving.
#chat#msparp#mxrp.chat#mxrp#the implication that seeing shit on modern parp could possibly be so upsetting that its like a major deal just makes me laugh a little ngl#like first of all its the internet you can make it go away chill#you are not being physically harmed by reading something that you are fully capable of getting away from#and also you would not have survived parp back then clearly if the sanitized version is so challenging
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