gotta get back into like spirituality. i lost touch w it bc like life happens and i got busy and distracted but one of my friends who's very gifted gave me a tarot reading yesterday and it made me remember that like. i have that power too. i just have to build it back up like a muscle

😍 and 🤳?

mmmm i dont think it was a specific Moment that made me love osomatsu and jyushimatsu i feel like it was very gradual? i mean. as far as im aware. if i had to pick i Think when i started Liking them is i think? episode 5 but the second half w esp kitty not the karamatsu incident lmfao bc if im remembering right that was the first time we saw them like. Thinking of one another and doing stuff for each other like jyushi taking ichimatsu to dekapan and at the end when he finds espkitty for him, and just before that osomatsu pressing ichimatsu being like Are You Sure this is what you want and when ichimatsu responds osomatsu is like okay lets go home then :) i think thats why i like both osomatsu and jyushimatsu because. Osomatsu is very much a very Blunt guy he will take whats given to him at face value which, yeah makes him kinda stupid but its like. admirable i think, he like Makes sure hes getting the truth (even if he isnt) and rolls with that, and then on the flip side Jyushimatsu is incredibly intuitive and is able to read how people are feeling most of the time really well like hes usually the first to recognise when somethings Off and is able to like redirect his energy into figuring out whats wring and how he can fix it kinda thing its j. idk. theres obviously so many other reasons why i like them but... guys who are stupid for fun my beloved....

i relate to osomatsu the most 100% i have since season 1 and its only gotten more and more through the seasons, just a sillygoofy little dumbass guy who just wants to be lazy and have a good time forever, incredibly blunt like i said before and takes things generally at face value, talks a big game but when it comes to Doing stuff gets anxious and just fuckin stands there lmfao actually confidence changing depending on who we are or are not with too, socially fuckin inept how do you make and keep friends help help he-, ngl kinda a scumbag at times but sometimes intentionally as a way to not get hurt lol uhh idk how to go much further than that without like. feeling like im traumadumping lmfao so lets just say i am him he is me we are we. both incredibly boygirl and girlboy To be honest feminine in a masculine way gross little autism dudes whatever idk

Lol random ramble thought you can ignore lol

I totally can't relate to normies at all. I was reading some articles on like. How covid made people touch starved or whatever. And I'm like. Over here. Socially anxious introvert acearo touch averse. Lockdown was like heaven for me ngl lol. Not being touched for a few months? Cope weakling extroverts lol. I haven't had a hug or any kind of touch in years it's totally fine lol (OK the only person I hug is my grandma when she leaves holiday parties since she's a nice old lady who's like 86 or something but that's like a few times a year). Even one op Ed article was talking about going back to clubs and parties bc they were touch starved once the vaccine was out (2021 I think it was published?) despite the covid risks since again this article came out back when the vaccine was still relatively new and all. Bruh, that was so irresponsible (and still is imho) what the heck and people are praising this?????

Blllluh I don't understand extrovert normies who couldn't just not have irresponsible parties and stuff in the 2020-2021 time.

Anyways random memory time but I think the first and only time I held hands (like. Extremely lewd handholding. The most lewd finger interlacing kind) with someone who wasn't a family member was with this childhood friend dude that rode the bus with me in middle school. We got off the bus and were walking to our parents and my friend just took and held my hand. It was OK I guess? Nothing too weird (plus I think my touch averse stuff kicks in with other parts of my body tbh. I feel like hand holding would be tolerable/it doesnt trigger me i guess but also i have a very low sample size of 1 occurence?) so i didnt pull away at the time. Then 3 older girls in 8th grade who were walking behind us and saw this lewdest kind of handholding (I think we were in 5th or 6th grade) made it weird when they started singing that (name spelling) kissing in a tree song and he didn't like it and pulled away from me. Ironically this guy (no longer friends per say. Nothing bad, no arguments happened or anything, the school district just changed how the bus routes were and we didn't share a bus anymore + we gradually moved to different hobbies and friend groups in 7th - 12th grade so we drifted apart naturally as time passed le shrug) came out as gay at some point in high school (I don't know when since again we didn't talk to each other and still don't talk even though our moms are friends and send each other christmas cards). Also, also funny and disappointing. So. This guy is a nurse now and at the time was still in college maybe residency or pre med or something and working at one of the big hospitals. So. For spring break 2021 i think. According to what my mom heard for his mom or my sister via facebook gossip in our town. My friend went to a Florida nightclub or something for spring break and got covid. And his family has to quarantine and everything and his mom was telling people that he got it from his *noble selfless work at the hospital* for his medical/nursing degree/internship/whatever. And it was just like. A guy who really should've known better as a Frontline worker. Decided to go to a nightclub in 2021. In FLORIDA. Lmao. (To the like. One or two of my high school friends still on tumblr that also I know lurks and looks at this weird side ramble blog (looking at you you shigaraki simp!! You know who you are >:]]]]] ) if you're thinking it was our classmate who played hockey. Yes. It was that guy. Maybe you already knew this silly gossip from our small town grapevine or high school facebook reunion page or whatever idk how ppl still talk to former high school classmates or whatever but anyways. Lol)

Omg... same... I don't remember my first reaction to that kevin-andrew staring line, but like for example, it took me a while to get why Nicky warned Neil not to look too much at Kevin. And when people interpret things sexually/romantically in the fandom I'm definitely surprised, like the cigarette pack in Andrew's back pocket turned into staring at his ass etc. I did find stuff like Andrew brushing Neil's back more telling, but I didn't read every moment from a sexual attraction lense u know

I don't know if my last ask made sense but basically same sometimes im like "oh you guys think this line is about attraction. ok. i didn't know that" i feel like i learnt to see the romance/attraction in most of it bc i remember i felt like neil for the longest time -- i didn't see the signs of 'attraction' a lot of the time, though i did see more blatant flirting

lil disclaimer thingy: i understand everyone reads book differently and is coming from different perspectives, and i'm not intending to shame anyone or anything, just wanna talk about my experience reading aftg.

so, if i'm being honest... i do genuinely find it so baffling that people read certain scenes (mainly book 1 scenes) as sexual. like you mentioned the infamous 'neil sussed the twins out by which one had a cigarette packet in their back pocket' scene that people have turned into 'neil was ogling andrew's ass'. which.. neil is a respectful king and would never, okay? i hate when ppl make him into a fucking creep :// but also it's a good example of an early moment in the series that showed how observant and clever neil could be so it also makes me sad that the moment got stripped of that in favour of it being sexual :(

anyway, besides sexual clearly not being how it's intended to be read, it's also weird to me because like... my mind was not at all in the place to be reading scenes as sexual when i first read that scene.

we've just been introduced to neil not that long ago, and he's been presented to us as a traumatized teenager who's been squatting in his highschool's gym locker room, seems to have a nicotine addiction, is really anxious, has seen his mum die, and i'm also pretty sure there's lines about how lonely neil is and about how much he's grieving his mum. not that long before the cigarette-in-back-pocket scene doesn't neil have a moment at the window where he thinks "one of us has to make it mum"??

what i'm very poorly trying to explain is that, at least when i first read the books, i was really attached to neil early on and more importantly i was really protective of him. cause he's a child really... and a very hurt and distressed one at that, who's in a new and clearly unsafe environment. andrew's group is not presented in a good light early on, so i was rightfully suspicious and untrusting of them. how people can be given a character like neil in a situation like that and be playing matchmaker almost immediately is... yeah.

like... my mind wasn't in the place to be going "oooo neil thinks one of them has a nice ass!!🥴🥴"... LIKE? the scenes before certainly aren't set up in a way that's leading you down that train of thought...

it's the same as the scene where neil puts andrew's hand under his shirt, people talked about seeing that as sexual too. but andrew's been raped literally like 2 or 3 pages ago??? when i read those kinds of posts i can't help but think "how is this what's on your guys minds right now??..."

plus, when people say they saw these moments as sexual attraction they are often also implying they were thinking "maybe they'll get together". which is why i mentioned that i didn't trust andrew's group, cause i assumed everyone else felt the same, so i also assumed that like me they wouldn't be thinking of neil possibly getting with any of them... cause if you don't think they're trustworthy... why would you? i just wanted to protect neil from them ngl :') the only other character i liked at the time besides neil was wymack cause he actually showed that he cared about neil's wellbeing.

even that scene where andrew runs his fingers also neil's back, i honestly thought andrew was trying to intimidate neil... cause i didn't fucking like or trust andrew! he had non-con drugged not that long ago and i was still pissed at him and his group at the time. plus, andrew had used touching neil as a way to try and intimidate him before that so. even if i had picked up on the fact that andrew was attracted to neil from that during my first read, i wouldn't have thought they'd be getting together, or even wanted them too lol.

also because, aside from what i've said, there was also the fact neil told us he didn't swing... some scenes happened before that but most that people talk about happened after. if i'm reading a book and i'm having moments where i'm thinking maybe someone is attracted to the main character it's because i assume something might actually happen!

but i believed neil was aro/ace and so i wasn't looking for moments of neil being attracted to people, or moments of others being attracted to him. i never really bothered trying to read between the lines, it never even crossed my mind for so long... cause i had already set my mind on "neil won't end up with anyone". i only remembering it occurring to me at the "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" scene.

and honestly, when that happened i remember thinking something like "andrew's gonna end up getting rejected". idk? i never doubted neil was aspec, i started off thinking he was aro/ace like i said but i never went "oh he's gay", i just went "oh so he's not aro/ace but he's somewhere on the spectrum of being asexual".

and also tbh... i liked that neil never thought of things sexually. it was nice :'( and seeing his own thoughts and actions getting interpreted in that way, especially after we should have been under the assumption he wasn't interested in things like that... it rubs me the wrong way.

(i know aro/ace ppl can have relationships and/or have sex, but the way neil presented his sexuality and acted when hit on. to me, it made it seem like he was completely uninterested in either)

i can understand going back through the book after reading for the first time and being like "oh andrew's actions or words here might have been partially motivated by his attraction to neil at the time!", but through the first read? and for neil?? it's weird to me...

this is quite long so sorry bout that lol, i think i'll leave it here. it's nice to see someone else feel a similar way anyway ;^;

again, i don't think it's wrong if people read it differently. it just confuses me cause it's so different from my experience reading it and what i would expect it to be like for others

Hey you’re writing is really cute and I saw your hcs for a mc with a girlfriend and I really loved it! Do you think you can do a ikevamp suitors react to a transgender mc? One who was born female but identifies as a man? Lgbqt otome fans don’t get enough love so I’d be super awesome if you could write something ❤️

Hello darling!! I’m so sorry this took me a month or so to get to, but I’m glad to be doing it now! I also had an ask for a non-binary!mc but since I feel like all the suitors would treat the two similarly, I’ll be trying my best to fit it into one/accommodate both here :) hope you enjoy, love! Please lmk if anything sounds sketchy/offensive, since I don’t have experience with this myself!

napoleon ; okay. You stare at him dumbstruck bc he’s not taken aback for a moment, he just shrugs and then asks if you want to spar. I feel like he’d treat you v similarly to issac and jean even if you are his lover, bc there’s a v specific respect and care he treats those two with, a way he looks out for them. Would never falter with your pronouns, and if anyone makes a comment he’s like?? Your point?? They’re obv a man/non-binary, idk how you’re seeing a woman. He would also never hesitate to draw out his sword if anyone dared to grow a little too bold/rude.

arthur ; handsome ol’ chap! absolutely slathers you in compliments to validate your identity and make you feel confident, you almost wonder if he likes the way calling you by your pronouns rolls off his tongue. Though he normally was into women, I don’t think he would be opposed to dating you at all, and would grow icy with others who made comments about your relationship. He’s be very vocally supportive, but his teasing compliments will take a softer, more sincere turn if you ever need him to remind you that you’re valid.

mozart ; I see him helping you fix up your appearance ngl? Like not spending a bunch like comte, but silently aiding you in how to appear/act manly/non-binary for the 1800s, such as fixing/trimming your hair into a more “fashionable” look for the times, or nonchalantly informing you that your sleeves should be a little longer. He doesn’t do this to invalidate you at all! He thinks it’s a more subtle way of helping you feel confident navigating their world in your own way. Never hesitates to inform you that you look rather dashing that evening, or to run his finger along your chin with a proud/loving gaze in his eyes.

leonardo ; he’s immortal, he’s heard many a things that haven’t been considered ‘the norm’ for the times. He just kind of nods and takes a step back to admire your face, saying that your features are beautifully androgynous/masculine. If you bind your chest, he’ll frown if you suggest using a kind of corset, and will instead get to work tinkering a more comfortable and safe binding for you to use. Always refers to you as your desires pronouns, and corrects anyone who uses incorrect ones nonchalantly. He likes that he can get away with certain things with you that normal het couples wouldn’t be able to.

vincent ; I think he’d be intrigued and easily adapt to your pronouns; he’d treat you with respect regardless. He’s probably heard of transgender/non-binary before, but I think he, like leo, would spend a lot of time admiring your face and the way you present yourself. Will constantly compliment you, but unlike arthur, it’s not to fluster you or subtly make you feel confident, but bc he keeps finding things about you to be in awe of. You’ll be a very common subject in his sketches and paintings because of the way you hold yourself.

theo ; His brows raise a bit, but they lower just as quickly and he accepts it. You almost think he doesn’t care/remember bc he always calls you a dog instead of your name/pronoun, but he instantly corrects anyone who uses the wrong one, and glares at anyone who gives you shit. If you ever get down on yourself for your appearance not matching your identity, he sternly sits you down and firmly lists everything about you he finds beautiful and fitting to what you want to be. And though it wasn’t his intention, you never fail to grow flustered bc of the little details he’s picked up on, due to the nature of his job rubbing off on his own perceptiveness.

issac ; A little flustered boy. Similar to jean, I think he’d have the right attitude but be a bit clumsy about it. He doesn’t want to offend you! Ofc being trans/a man/non-binary doesn’t matter, he just loves you, but he’s anxious and overthinks how he address you, how he acts around you. Should he not call you petnames? Are those considered feminine? Am I invalidating them by using them?? He just grows stiff and nervous and you have to remind him to breath: just use the correct pronouns and respect you, there’s not much else to it. After a while he relaxes and it comes easier, but he just doesn’t want to lose someone else he loves of his own doing.

dazai ; I will admit he’s a little hard to grasp for me, but I believe that elusiveness is a part of his character anyways lol. Nothing about how he perceives you changes. You’re still you, aren’t you? Doesn’t matter what gender you are, what name you go by, what appearance you have. Maybe his nickname for you will change, but that’s it. I feel like with him you may not even be aware of your gender/it’s impact, bc when you’re with him it doesn’t matter, so you feel light and free from having to think about/act like your identity. You’re just you.

jean ; I think he would be open-minded to it, albeit confused. If you took the time to explain to him what you identify as and what it means, he’ll accept it, not one for many questions. I personally believe he’d be awkward about it a bit?? But would never treat you wrong! I mean in the sense of those clumsy lgbtq+ supporters with the right attitude, if that makes sense lol? So unsurely asking if you’d like to spar...? Or constantly looking to you for confirmation on things you like, what you do, etc etc. Ik jean is supposed to be silent and intimidating, but I imagine him as a clumsy man whose seen too much and doesn’t know how to act bc he was robbed of a childhood, so yeah hopefully this makes sense!

comte ; he’s seen even more than leonardo bc he’s immortal and timetravels; it doesn’t phase him. Tbh he just beckons you to come shopping with him so he can find you the latest male/androgynous fashion, with charming suits and coats and hats. For binding, he’ll try his best to buy you a safe kind, or he may enlist Leonardo’s help or even go to the future to find you one—nothing is too much/expensive when it comes to you. Will always treat you right/like royalty, and remind you that you’re valid and anything you need to feel that way, he will make it so. Gets a v dangerous look in his eye if someone disrespects you.

sebastian ; he’s from the future, so nothing new. Honestly he may even be relieved?? Idk he’s just so formal and polite that I think he’d feel more relaxed with another masculine/non-binary individual from the future, bc he would be able to talk in a certain way he would feel wasn’t as “proper” with a woman, if I’m making sense? He’d have no problem refering to you as your identity, and will always find a way to make you feel comfortable/valid, even if he needs to try and sew his own version of a binder for you.

shakespeare ; okay I’m sorry for those who like shakespeare but I feel like he’d lowkey fetishize it oof. Just like how I think he’d use unrequited love of a lesbian!mc to fuel his plays, he’d think of you as interesting inspiration—at first, at least. He’d run his hand through your hair, down your lapels as he admires you, amused, and it’s only if you grew cross and forced him to see you as your identity/a person, that he may fix his unhealthy perception. After reading Vincent’s route, I’ve come to think that you really need to push against him to reach his actual feelings/past his unstable/dangerous side. Once he’s over that, he would love to cast you as male roles in his plays, bc you have even more conviction than the regular men tbh.

I know I’m late but I read the raven boys, here’s me losing my mind:

*spoilers*

uhh am I supposed to ship Gansey and Adam bc they have had like two (2) interactions and I’m already feelin it

Oof lemme live at the Monmouth apartment

Also I am very intrigued by Noah

And I would like to give Ronan a hug despite him having the least huggable demeanor

Everyone has such cool names

Wait Adam and blue ??!

Also I feel like I’m not supposed to know that Noah’s last name is Czerny,, but I do know and this Whelk backstory stuff is confusing me

On another note: let’s take a sec to say “Noah Czerny” aloud,, I just like how it sounds ok

Jesus every one of these characters needs therapy

SO THE BABY BIRD CAME FROM RONAN’S DREAMS RIGHT (lol I’ve seen so many posts about trc I lowkey know so many spoilers but at the same time I don’t know shit)

Ok Noah and Whelk’s Czerny have to be the same person right

Everything Noah says makes my heart break a little

“Hey tiger” AGDJFGHSKSAGSJ

I haven’t even mentioned anything about blue,, the boys are just so much more compelling

There’s like 50 different types of tension in this helicopter I can’t deal

Also why is gansey’s glendower obsession so endearing,, like youre doing great sweetie go find your welsh king

WHAT DID ADAM SEE IN THE TREE

The found family-ness is getting to me :’)

What is greywarren ?!! What is Ronan ???

ITS NOAH’S MUSTANG IT HAS TO BE AND HE’S REACTING BADLY BC THE MEMORIES OR SOMETHIN WHAT IS GOING ON

This book makes me anxious

Lmao I just looked up what top-siders look like and I regret it,, gansey whyyyyy

“someone on the ley line is dying when they should not, and so you live when you should not” NOAH DIED. GANSEY LIVED. FUCK.

they just found noah’s bones. I- I need a minute. Like I knew but damn now that I know.. that shit hurts

pls there was something so heart wrenching in that phone call where gansey said he’d get Ronan through the year

“I can’t remember when I stopped being alive” I am bROKEN this line obliterated me

I just think it’d be cool if I got a Ronan pov for once

I also want Noah’s pov but I feel like it would break me

GANSEY ALMOST DIED AND ADAM CANT HEAR AND GANSEY AND ADAM ARE FIGHTING AND EVERYTHING IS CHAOS HELP

ADAM NO DONT GO BY YOURSELF DAMNIT

“Don’t throw it away” adfgjkdhskfj don’t throw what away, Noah ??? Life? The gun?? The chance to find glendower ?? And it’s not lost on me that he said the same thing to gansey

I am very scared to finish this book. if Adam dies, no he didn’t ❤️

“REMEMBERED” Im sobbing

Ok ngl I’m still confused about Adam’s sacrifice

Adam and his reaction to Whelk’s death is reminding me of Alexander from iwwv

I see I see they’re setting up bluesey for book 2 aren’t they

NOAH IS BACK GOD BLESS

Ronan yess it’s about damn time we figured out what the heck you are buddy

Wow that was a lot thanks for reading if you made it this far, I might do one of these for book 2 !!

🌟 for Elliot pls?

:D aaaah! I’ve had him in the brain a lot lately okay sorry this got long And also im rewatching rn so its sorta season 1ish.

Elliot is Rory’s younger twin. He was given Christopher’s middle name. He’s mostly grateful it was the middle name.

He and Rory are super close. It was just the two of them ( and then Lane) The Twins That Read A Lot. Because they had each other they didn’t have much incentive to make friends outside of each other ( Elliot more than Rory) and extrapolating from the Pilot where Rory doesn’t seem like she has a lot of friends ( or any sans Lane) and is lowkey scoffed at for reading the assignment I’m gonna go with “other kids weren’t that keen on making friends with them either”

Rory’s the talkative one, he’s the quiet one. This is a bit of Rory also being protective of him/noticing when he looks overwhelmed and just...talking up a storm as is her wont and subtly getting attention away from Elliot. For a lot of the early season they’re not seen one without the other ( keeping in mind their arch is to learn it’s okay to have different dreams and even go different places ) 

Sorta shy and a bit more introverted than Rory. Once you become his friend however he pretty much would die for you and his face absolutely lights up when he sees you as opposed to his usual reserved nature and he talks to you albeit not as much as his twin ( unless hes super excited or talking about something he finds interesting then the resemblance kicks in lmao but thats the exception)  its like a switch ( seen with Rory, Luke, and Lane in canon and Sophie/Paige in their xover)

Likes hanging out at Luke’s. They both sorta enjoy... being quiet around each other. Elliot thinks he has a really calming vibe …when Taylor’s not there.

Ms Kim doesn’t like him because he’s a boy so he’s not allowed at Lane’s like Rory is ( honestly the feeling’s mutual bc “I’m pretty  sure locking you up for days and keeping you from school falls under child abuse also wtf” and lowkey the girls are like “lets just keep you not in the house” Lane might be closer to Rory but they still talk music together. She’s part of the reason his music taste actually started deviating  from  Lorelai’s and Rory’s.)

He doesn’t like unfair treatment of other people. It really gets to him. Examples are Ms. Kim to Lane and his grandparents and father to his mom. Later examples are Mitchum Huntzberger, and Marty. ( he’s pretty unimpressed with Marty and how his feelings for Rory make him act in general tbh but what he does with Lucy is just...it really bothers him he’s adamant that  Rory should tell Lucy the truth.)

Highkey  he has about zero patience for bad/toxic parents partly bc of his own feelings about Christopher and to an extent his grandparents that he keeps minimizing so they get projected on...everyone else with bad parents lol.

 Logan’s still a bit amazed that this shy soft spoken kid he met in his junior year went off like “He’s not your fucking property” when Mitchum went on his “You’re available when i say you’re available” tirade ( Elliot was ngl intimidated/scared of Mitchum who pretty much went “Who the hell are you??!” but Logan’s his friend and that wasn’t okay and he kept eye contact with the asshole until Logan diverted his attention back to him/the fight they were having and made sure he at least told Logan afterwards because “but he shouldn’t..” and “he shouldn’t have” and “No! No..it’s not Okay. “)

But also like constantly “it’s not a big deal” when it comes to his aforementioned feelings about Christopher and pretty much anything he might be angry about. 

Lowkey spends a lot of time Rory goes through relationship drama between “????” and “wowww dodged a bullet” Rory throws pillows at him for the latter because “If I’m gonna rant at you El, you could at least give me sympathy.”

He does have some insecurities about his orientation born out of just..f.eeling othered due to isolation and also some stuff he’s heard his dad say.

He figures out he’s asexual before he figures out he’s aromantic and has to deal with a lot of “Are you sure?” and “is that..is that normal?” from some townsfolks before he figures out Luke can scare them off and he lowkey spends a lot of time at the dinner during this time. Luke smiles at him and gives him muffins tho he’ll deny deny deny if you mention it.

A bit more sensitive than Rory like on the pilot episode when he notices Lorelai is worried about Chilton/having to ask her parents for money he stops at the base of the stairs and asks “is...everything okay mom?” and is kinda just in tune with how the people he cares about are feeling/picks up on things like that.

He...doesn’t super like his grandparents because of how they treat his mother.  Emily already made him a bit anxious because of her passive  aggressive nature ( he’s giving me some anxiety vibes tbh) and the fact that he thought the fact that his mom kept them away sorta ominous.  A lot of season 1 is him looking down at his plate and tensing with every “your mother’s golf clubs are in the attic along with the rest of her potential” and Richard’s “he ( Christopher) always was a smart one that  boy, you two must take after  him” and “as a maid with all your brains and talents” and it sorta...yeah he spends a lot of time looking at his plate and swallowing resentment. There are times where it gets better but overall he’s never completely at ease around them. He’s very quiet but civil around them even as he grows some affection and builds bridges with them along Lorelai and Rory. And I haven’t even figured out the fallout with the thing they pull at the wedding.

Emily at least once asked off handedly why Elliot wasn’t seeing anyone and I’m still figuring out if she says something like “that’s not normal” before Lorelai or Rory intervene.

(( Full disclosure Emily reminds me a bit too much of my own relationship with my mom and its really hard to write her favorably though I at least try to be fair. So Elliot is sometimes  a bit harsh on her and very in Lorelai’s corner when Emily and Richard are...less than nice. ))

Sort of a mamma’s boy. Rory and Lorelai have their special connection but so do Elliot and Lorelai. Rory was a bit more extroverted and would play/hang out with Lane while Elliot was perfectly content as a babie curling up with his mom and reading. It worried Lorelai a bit, how hard it was for him to reach out ( she never had that moment she had with Rory and Lane of “my kid has a friend” with him) but he always had Rory yknow so she calmed herself with that. Sometimes when Rory’s with Lane he’ll hang out at the Inn and work there. He somehow got in to Michel’s good graces ( “because you are quiet and unobtrusive”  and got him to teach him French 

Very tactile. When he’s getting nervous Rory will reach out and grab his hand or Lore will put her hands on his shoulder and he’ll calm down. He does the same when wanting to comfort friends or just wanting to show affection ( will lean on Finn and Colin a lot as he gets closer to them or accept that they’ll just throw an arm around him)

Meeting the LAD bridgade kids makes social events with his grandparents so much easier like ohmygod subparties with Logan Colin Finn and Rory  become lifesavers. ( its not so much the drinking as having someone you can laugh with while dodging your grandparents friends and the girl they told to look for you yknow)

He has more resentment towards Christopher than his sister and doesn’t see him with the rose colored glasses Rory sees him in their younger years. His absence hurts him a lot. He hides it well and is nice enough towards him because he loves Lorelai and Rory and wants them to be happy/have a good time but if you catch him on a bad day you might get a rant about how little Christopher knows about them and how little he was there  and “he just drops by, spends like a day with us and leaves yknow...it’s...and we’re supposed to be happy???” and the fact that he doesn’t wanna tell Rory or Lorelai bc he thinks it’ll upset them just  sorta...makes it worse.

And then at some point  Christopher pops off with “and how long are you gonna entertain this phase of his Lore, a boy his age should be dating” and while Rory’s making angry noises and Lorelai’s saying “Outside. Now” ( though they don’t know the twins are listening) he just gets...this thin unsurprised smile and...yeah it’s not great. 

Very supportive of people he loves. He’s constantly telling Rory through the Chilton years that she’s smart enough, more than smart enough to get through this and helps her study. He makes sure he tells Lorelai he loves her or hugs her if he can tell the dinners are a bit hard on her. Honestly a total cream puff. The resentment for his grandparents and father is mostly buried and comes out like when he’s upset/they do something that provokes it. Mostly he’s a really soft boy and kinda soft spoken, loves reading about science and space ( he balances out Rory’s preference for literature and history though they both like poetry and Elliot occasionally reads prose as Rory lets him infodump sometimes about science journals) and loves his friends so so dearly. Will get angry a la Beware The Nice Ones if you hurt them though the first thing he’ll do is comfort them/try to cheer them up.

He loves Stars Hollow but being the only aroace person he knows of there ( and fielding well intentioned “are you sures?” and “oh honey you’ll find someone someday”s and just..alot of early 2000s Star Hollow-ness ( “Hey kiddo you gonna bid on a basket this year?” “oh you’re getting handsome, gonna find yourself a girl for the starlight festival?” “is he..youknow?” is just...a lot? He wants to spread his wings and find his place/people like him/feel less isolated.

He still loves his town though as its his home and raised him his sister and in a way his mother. He visits while he’s at Yale ( the distance helps tremendously as does the ability to just...leave again) like Rory and says hi to Miss Patty and Gypsy and Andrew ( he loves Andrew omg. One of the few people who didn’t just assume he and Rory were always reading the same books) He helps the 30-Something gang find jobs/fine tune resumes  though im not including anything else form ayit and checks in how they’re doing bc..its still his town. They’re his family. “my nuts-o, extended...well meaning but sometimes overly invested and too-pushy-and-slightly-overbearing family.” even as he dreams of getting out a lot and once he does he...really likes it. He loves them

He goes to Yale because Rory goes to Yale (because again the whole Learning To Be Independent From Your Twin...kind of a slow process for him) and gets sibling-adopted by Finn and Colin  in a turn of events he’s pretty much confused over like im p sure they were like “hes ours now” and Elliot was like “im ...you’re...w..what?” and Logan who Knows Finn and Colin is like “don’t fight it” and lowkey adopted him too.

Im cutting myself off bc this got Long and im sorry lol

Thank you so much for the ask <3

send me a ✨ and i’ll tell you about a random OC

a list of asks

@padawanyugi tagged me in this, but Tumblr decided to eat any notification that I got tagged, so I’m glad I saw it on my dash because I like filling these things out. Thanks for tagging me! I may have typed A Lot.

Favorites: What types of books do you enjoy? Tell about what you’ve read recently (Or maybe about a book you hated recently!)I like spec-fic and sci-fi, although less “hard” science fiction, and I also enjoy fantasy. I read a lot of YA even though I’m in my 30s just because it seems easy to find a story I want to read and I’m not usually in the mood for dense prose.

I’ve been rereading the Wheel of Time series since it’s getting an Amazon TV show; it was my first non-LOTR fantasy series and I love it to death, warts and all, although I love joking about the weak points with other people who’ve read it. I think the last other thing I read was A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, which was a queer YA historical fiction, and it was a lot of fun. I wish I’d had access to all these queer stories when I was an actual teenager, but better late than never.

What types of music do you like to listen to? Share five songs from your music library. I really do like a bit of everything, although I gravitate towards certain genres more often depending on the season or time of day, so I’m going to cheat and pick 5 per season. Summer for me is lots of peppy pop (pride playlists!), punk and rock and punk-adjacent stuff, just upbeat stuff in general. -Weekender, by The Royal They -Break My Heart, by Dua Lipa -Toutes les femmes savent danser, by Loud -Ruby Soho, by Rancid -Womanarchist, by Bad Cop, Bad Cop

In the fall, my inner goth kid craves darkwave, goth rock, dramatic folk, roots rock, and also anything that reminds me of Halloween. -Iuka, by the Secret Sisters -Bela Lugosi’s Dead, by Bauhaus -How’s It Gonna End, by Tom Waits -Under the Milky Way, by The Church -I Put a Spell on You, by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins I could go on about the Christmas music I like at length (Boney M’s Christmas album slaps, ngl) but I’ll just skip that and say that I listen to more classical and piano pieces in the winter. I’m terrible at remembering names, so artists only: -Ludovico Einaudi -Chopin -Debussy -Saint-Saëns -Dvořák And in spring I’m usually just depressed af and listen to whatever. -FML, by K.Flay -Weird Part of the Night, by Louis Cole -Juodaan Viinaa, by Korpiklaani -P.O.H.U.I., by Carla’s Dreams -Marryuna, by Baker Boy

Do you have a show or movie that you can just put on anytime and it’s your comfort? Definitely Star Trek. I’ve rewatched the various iterations (except TOS) so many times. Also Mean Girls and Bring It On, idk why.

Do you have a favorite dessert? Tiramisu or creme brulée! Or macarons. I don’t eat dessert really unless I’m at a restaurant.

Do you have a favorite cold drink? Sparkling water, hands down.

Do you have a favorite game? The hours I have put into the SIms in my lifetime is probably shameful, although I haven’t played in a while. Don’t Starve is another contender for hours played, but I am also really fond everything by Amanita Design

Do you have a favorite part of your self care/beauty/health routine? I haven’t been doing it much lately since I’ve been dealing with some uncertain health issues with my joints (actually have a rheumatologist appointment later today), but savasana after a long yoga workout is borderline ecstasy.

Do you have a favorite type of take-out food? Indian for sure.

What’s your favorite type of exercise/physical activity? I have a love-hate relationship with running. I don’t actually love it but I love how I feel after. I really enjoy yoga. I love playing in the water at the beach, bodyboarding and swimming.

Pick between: (you choose the context)

Cook or bake? (I love cooking A Lot)

Space or ocean? (Hard to pick, but I grew up by the ocean and it’s 100% my happy place)

Chocolate or vanilla?

City or suburb or rural? (I grew up in an isolated rural village and I miss the quiet and the slower pace of life, but I do not miss the lack of amenities and opportunities, or the smalltown gossip. I also don’t drive bc of epilepsy, so I’m fucked as far as transport in rural settings.)

Past or future?

Shower in the morning or evening?

Mac/Apple or PC/Android? (Linux in general!)

Sing or dance?  (I don’t have an amazing voice but I can carry a tune without it being painful, and I love singing along with songs.)

Get up early or sleep in? (I actually love sleeping in but with two kids, early morning is my only time to myself, so I wake up before 6 most days AGGH.)

Shoes, socks, or bare feet? (Hate socks. I’m barefoot at home all year round.)

Marker, crayon, or pencil? Pen!

Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? (Coffee in the morning, tea later on.)

Random questions:

Have you ever had any pets? (Had dogs and a cat as a kid, and as an adult I’ve had betta fish and cats, and I have a cat currently.)

What is your academic background/job field? I did my undergrad in linguistics, and I am currently a stay-at-home dad lol. I do freelance editing and transcription on the side. I don’t think I’ll ever work in my field bc I really don’t have the energy to go to grad school.

What’s something random that you’re into (even if you aren’t good at it)? I signed up for a Cape Breton step dancing class in university and I loved it.

Are you good at putting away your clean laundry right away? It depends on the day, but generally yes. Mine and everyone else’s. When I lived alone? Absolutely not.

What’s one of your pet peeves? Someone trying to have a conversation with me when they have the radio or TV on. I can’t follow what you’re saying if someone else is speaking! I hate having that stuff on as background noise in general.

What’s something you’re pretty good at? I’m a great cook.

What’s the most recent nice thing you bought for yourself? A new conditioner ig? lol

Can you sew? I can mend a small tear or sew on a button, but it’s been years since I did more than that.

What’s a chore you hate (or a chore you enjoy)? I hate vacuuming so much. So much. Maybe if I had a better vaccuum cleaner I wouldn’t mind it, but I just feel like I’m fighting with the stupid thing, getting caught up on its own cords, caught on furniture, can’t quiiiite reach a spot... HATE IT. I like shoveling snow sometimes, though.

Tell us a fun fact about yourself. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, and five minutes younger than my “oldest” sibling.

Never have I ever... Gone fishing, even though I’m from a fishing community.

What extracurriculars did/do you do in school? In high school, I played trumpet in band until the band got dissolved from lack of funding. I played soccer one year, was in a play another year. We had an art club for like a semester that I was in. In university the first time round, I did step dancing and intramural hide and seek  Second time around, I was in the linguistics club to help with assignments. (We were very much encouraged to work in pairs or groups for a lot of different classes. The only thing was that you did need to list your group members on the assignment so the prof knew who you worked with. My first morphology class in particular, we had a whole homework club where a huge portion of the class got together to work through assignments and help each other understand, and the prof would quite often show up. </tangent>

Deeper questions:

How’s your quarantine/last few months been? The cabin fever was really bad before the weather warmed up. I struggle with seasonal depression every spring, and it’s gotten much worse since we moved to Edmonton because of how long the winters are. (Snow from September to May/June? Fucccck.) It’s frankly horrifying to look at what’s going on in the US, but even though we have far fewer cases here, I’m really anxious that we’ll see another wave soon. Otherwise, I think I’ve adjusted. Home-schooling, hand-sanitizing, social distancing, masks...All feels kind of normal now, which should maybe concern me.

What do you think of human nature/society/etc.? I am like the least philosophical person you will meet so I don’t think I really have many thoughts.

What’s something you are insecure about? Writing my L2 if a native speaker is gonna read it.

What do you think is the meaning of life/reason that humans exist in the universe? I don’t think there is one, and that doesn’t bother me.

Do you think you’re better (whatever that means to you) than you used to be? Definitely. My adolescence and early adulthood was rough. I was dealing with a lot of trauma, untreated bipolar disorder, and I self-harmed for a very long time. I could not imagine making it to 30, let alone being stable and happy. I actively avoided thinking about the future because it made me spiral. But I was lucky enough to get help, consistent help from a doctor I clicked with, and it made a world of difference. I think younger me would be disappointed at how mundane my life is, but I’m thrilled to be boring because boring means no life-upending mood episodes. I have a happy partnership and two delightful kids and I couldn’t ask for more.

What are your thoughts on religion? I’m not religious and my own experience being raised in the Catholic church was frankly traumatic, but I know that it’s a source of comfort and community for many others and I think that’s awesome for them.

Do you think that there are aliens out there? I think so, although I think that we may not even know what other kinds of life to look for and may not recognize it even if we find it.

What’s something that’s been on your mind recently? We’re moving cross-country in less than a month (driving, no less, nearly 5000 km) and I still have so much to do to get ready aosjdoajdoasijdoaijsd

New crush at church...

So if y’all have or haven’t been keeping up with my posts about this guy, he’s new to our church and joined the youth choir. I’m really attracted to him and I wanna get to know him.

This past Friday, I went on out to choir practice and he happened to be there so you can imagine my excitement, especially when I was hoping he’d show.

One of the very first things that happened between us was he sat down in a chair literally so close to me. I was like “hollup, what is personal space to you?” But I lowkey liked it

I literally got up like a minute after that to go charge my phone bc I was so shook that he did that, I like couldn’t believe 😳 and then when I sat back down, I sat one seat further away

Idk, I hope it wasn’t awks and that nobody noticed! 😭 I’m sure he did, but nobody else. also I didn’t tell you, but for a while it was only like 4 of us there

And that made for such an intimate setting for me personally, because we were all talking and really connecting on a deeper level about praise and worship songs

Occasionally we were making eye contact and idk if I’m reading too hard into it, but I felt sparks. Like the eye contact was definitely consistent and healthy between us.

So that was good. I had to at one point hand over a bag of carrots bc we were sharing food with each other and he went “I don’t really eat carrots like that.”

It wasn’t my food, but I was just happy I could hand him the bag. When we started practicing, he was a lot more talkative and was suggesting lots of songs, it was nice!

It was interesting to hear him speak yesterday after not getting to all this time, he has an accent. I found it actually kind of hard to understand tbh.

That threw me all the way off bc I didn’t expect him to sound like that at all. But hearing him speak so much was totally cool. And eventually I got the privilege of finding out he knows Spanish.

So not that y’all would know, but I’ve been learning Spanish lately and when that topic came up? I was shocked! What are the odds? In my head I was thinking, he needs to teach me.

And then as if my friend who was there could read my mind, it was like she said exactly what I was thinking: “you are my new friend! You’re gonna help me learn Spanish.”

And like I felt so in sync with everyone who was surrounded by me right then. It was super crazy how the only people there were all interested in speaking Spanish and singing Spanish songs?

I’ve been very serious about learning Spanish at the moment so I’m hoping it comes in handy in the near future. We’ll just have to wait and see I guess.

Later as the night went on, we started to brainstorm song ideas and then eventually narrowed down on a few and began practicing them.

We for the most part sounded beautiful with our harmonies and I kept fooling around with going back and forth between parts to find the best sounds/harmonies.

Since we weren’t 100% sure of the melody, I kept playing around with the tenor note. At one point I recall him mumbling to his cousin who was already attending our church:

“Is she a tenor?” LOL it was definitely a loud enough question for everyone in the room to hear so I wondered why he hadn’t just asked me personally.

I wanted to answer him personally but we were in the middle of singing our next line for the song and I didn’t want to be more disruptive to our progress.

So the night consisted of a lot of laughter and beautiful singing between us. I caught some looks of him and tried to make sense of myself that I was finally into a guy.

As the night was coming to an end, we were closing out in prayer and we were standing fairly close to each other so I knew this meant I’d have to be holding his hand tonight.

Or so I thought! Literally right as we had touched the tips of each other’s hands, we began to separate to make room for two other people who were behind us.

To say I was devastasted would be an overreaction honestly. I was actually moreso relieved! However, I must add that it seemed he was just as eager as me to hold hands?

Which I thought was interesting! 😳 so we ended our prayer and everyone stayed back to chat a bit, he was lingering around me looking at a flyer that was being handed out.

I actually almost forgot, but he asked me “is this _____________?” On the flyer since we were talking about going out to support our fellow youth at a play.

He was standing right in front of me asking at that point, so I was the one to answer him yes. I felt a little special ngl, like maybe his position of standing was intentional.

So we were all kinda just taking our time leaving to go upstairs. Everyone was standing in around the same place for a minute or two and he was there with his cousin.

I felt like... a weird vibe like he was waiting to see my next move and keep up with me so he could get to sit with me. But I was trying my hardest not to pay him any mind.

Like I just wanted to see where that moment was gonna take us bc I felt as if he wanted to talk to me individually now and find out more about me but he wasn’t sure if it was a good time.

Anyways we all started to slowly walk upstairs to listen to the grief fellowship and discussion of our pastor’s passing. And I’d say that was the last of our interactions for the night?

Maybe, just maybe, he’ll be interested? I can never tell if they’re interested back. I want to believe he is bc I feel like I can always pick up on vibes heavily.

My first few encounters with running into him in the past, my mom actually confessed to me today that she had seen him looking in our direction at one point this past Sunday.

That gave me a lot of hope bc my mom and I were saying if he doesn’t reciprocate, then don’t be the chaser, just leave it alone. Especially since she admitted he looks like a Casanova.

Which I was a little upset about. Once she said that, it made me nervous bc Ik girls will have an eye on him and he is gonna be a hard one to lock down by just looks.

I’m not one to want to compete with other girls for a guy’s attention. It’s just not worth it and I don’t want/need that kind of drama in my life, so for this guy, he def has to like me more.

Which is why, moving forward, as much as I would like to get to know him, I think it’ll only have to be as a friend for now and from afar if I have to since I don’t wanna get hurt.

I think it’s in my best interest to just take things slow, observe how he tries to interact with me and analyze amongst my mom and friends. But most importantly, pray to God for guidance.

So far, the vibe is fine for me. I don’t get any nerve-wracking or anxious thoughts about him. When I was around him, he didn’t make me as nervous as I’d usually be in the past.

That made me feel good. However, I’m gonna keep checking in with my intuition and the vibes and my analysis’ making sure that I’m not rushing into/forcing him to try to like me.

It has to naturally happen and he has to reeeeally be attracted to me or I believe this will never work. So I’m gonna leave it in God’s hands, as easy as that may seem, it’ll be hard.

And my mom was also saying she thinks he could be younger than me by a little, so if that’s the case, I’m definitely gonna be cautious. I’m not really into younger guys, so I’m definitely concerned about that.

All the other times I’d seen him in the past, we’d share some glances of each other and I would always wonder if it was an “i’m-definitely-attracted-to-you” look or something less.

From here on, it’s just an observing and praying game and I’m gonna make sure I play it safe. Before I go on about this boy, lemme focus next on learning his name and age 😂

Hey! Recently I was trying to come out of my shell and put myself out there (on tumblr lmfao by letting people see who I am when I send asks) but as of lately Im getting really anxious when writing off anon bc I overthinking way too much. That’s why I’m sending the ask anonymously (I’ve repeated this word so much it stopped feeling like a word lol) even though I have a hunch that you know who I am?? Bloggers seem to know who anons are which I find kinda funny/nice ngl but yeah

ANYWAYS I’m rambling BUT I was in the middle of a good cry (which happened bc I watched the gojo and geto video and that just made me go on to think about how gojo, as a character, is the biggest tragedy I’ve ever seen, something I could spend hours talking about, and then about nanami and manga spoilers lmfao) and I opened tumblr bc I wanted to kinda chill with a bit of fluff and the first post I see on my dash was one of yours saying how your asks are always open in case someone needs to vent and I don’t know, it just felt like too much of a coincidence to not share 😅 it also comforted me a bit which I’m thankful for, and I wanted to thank you for that <3

Now I’m feeling a lot better! I had a shower, ate a bit and currently watching sweet magnolias (which is eventful but uneventful in a weird way? And don’t get me wrong, I have a bunch of critiques/opinions about it bc it’s definitely not great BUT it’s very tame…? I don’t think if I’m liking it so far but it’s distracting me quite a bit so yeah :D)! Thanks for making me feel better unknowingly, it means a lot and I think you’re a lovely person and an amazing writer <3 I hope you have a good one!

Ps: even though I know you mentioned that people can vent in your asks, (does this classify as a vent?) im still a bit scared to send this bc yes, and I just wanted to thank you for reading this and I’m sorry for making it so long <3

it's completely normal to feel anxious when writing off anon lol i rewrite the stuff i send like 10 times. i'm fine with whatever, you can feel comfortable sending me off anon as well! if you're not comfortable tho, we can do the emoji anon thingy so i can recognize it's you when we talk

also thank you for the compliments 🥺 you made my heart skip a beat, i'm literally smiling like an idiot <3

also like... crying over satosugu is completely valid. i don't know what's about them cause yknow i read attack on titan but NOTHING destroyed my heart like satosugu... there are just so much to talk about gojo and geto, a big reason why i enjoy jjk so much. the characters have so much depth and even though we saw very little about geto, we have so much to talk about him. and don't even get me started on nanami my GOD i keep forgetting about him and then BOOM i remember it and feel sad. i can probably talk about jjk for hours and write 10k word posts about them but i stop myself for my own sanity :D

i've never seen sweet magnolias, i've been away from the whole netflix shenanigans for some time lol. i've been watching the office, it's strangely addicting. i barely have any time bc of school lol but yeah, shows are a great distraction from real world problems. i used to watch 2-3 at the same time but quit last year to focus on my exam and istg i was about to lose my mind. not even kidding. i started watching anime to keep myself sane. the real world sucks ass, i would very much rather think about fictional world problems lol

don't ever be scared to send me stuff! this is a psa for all of my followers, i absolutely love speaking with you guys on here. seeing my askbox full makes me so happy, especially now when most of my moots are off :( but yeah, if you send me a novel, i will read and respond to it lol. we are all friends on this blog :)