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thebl00dmaster · 10 months

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Limbus Tamers

The limbus brainrot is terminal and digimon has been worming its way back so why not combine the two together. I’m not the biggest Digimon nerd (mainly watched some Adventure, 02 and Tamers and played Digimon world 3 and Cybersleuth) so I’ve been using Wikimon to help with the evolution lines, while yes I could just mix and max anything I tried to use Digimon that actually evolve into one another.

I may do another one with Dante, Charon and Vergilius plus any Sinner I want revisit. So onward to my dubious picks!

For Yi Sang I chose this line mostly for his desire to have wings and his association with crows. Plus Yatagaramon is cool.

For Faust I focused on her witch imagery, what with her base E.G.O. giving her a broom and her codename being Walpurgisnacht, and her vast knowledge with Impmon being a stand in for Mephistopheles (I know Mephismon exist I already had settled on witchmon and needed a rookie). AncientWisemon could have gone to Yi Sang since he invented the mirror we use to pull the gacha but it still have that sorcerer vibe.

For La Creatura I settled for the Guilmon line mostly because Gallantmon/Dukemon, being a Royal Knight, fitted with her knightly delusions and also because I remember Guilmon going feral at some points in Tamers. Plus if we go for Dark Digivolutions,when Don completely snaps she could go down the Megidramon (or even ChaosDukemon) route similarly to Takato.

I hesitated a bit with Ryoshu so I ended doing both ideas: I kinda cobbled this one together trying to concile her ties to fire (her E.G.O inflict burn,the “cooking” of the Kebab and that one picture of her burning everything using as her steed) and art with Etemon being a singer and Piedmon being a clown (and circus artist in general). Plus the Dark Master have throwing knives/swords.

This one was more was more based on her swordplay and the fact she’s ... ok maybe not “honourable” but she’d rather not do it the “coward’s way”, she straight up refused to disguise herself during the casino heist and wanted to face the Shi assassin head on in Canto IV. So Musyamon popped into my mind and then went up the evo line to try and keep the samurai/ronin theme and Kunemon is here because I couldn’t use Kotemon as it doesn’t digivolve into Musyamon.

Mr Salt got the Andromon line because he’s very robotic at times, a cog in the machine if you will, plus he is a tank of a man so Guardromon fits well. Also I thought it would be funny if somehow the machine Digimon ended up being more prone to make judgements than its human partner.

I didn’t know where to go with Hong Lu, I tried with the Devas and little more with Lopmon’s line then I saw QueenChessmon and went “Chess is pastime for hoity-toity rich folk and Hong Lu is a rich boy” and went from there. Not really satisfied but it just clicked in the moment. ... If Hong Lu is playing some 5d chess with us I SWEAR TO -

Another double feature with the other sinner with double seats privilege ... this was completely incidental. This one is based on the brutish side of Heathcliff though Ogremon can be cunning as can our angry british. Titamon is also connected to revenge (specifically against the Olympos XII) so it fits as well. I know Rebellimon doesn’t digivolve to Titamon but fuck it ! I didn’t want Digitamamon on here and that’s the only exception I made, I just wanted to keep mean green demon all the way.

This one came frame from a flash about Telepole Heathcliff and since He’s a bastard I couldn’t him give a regular Gabumon.

I just had to give Fishmael a Whamon because of Moby Dick. As for the rest: I picked Gomamon because I thought it’d be funny to have a laid back partner with how rigid she can be; Dolphmon to transition between Gomamon and Whamon and Plesiomon because it’s a traditional Mega for Gomamon alongside Vikemon.

I must admit being stumped and just going “Waifumon go !”. Might revisit her with a more fitting line sometime.

For Sinclair at first I wanted to give him an avian line then stumbled upon Tsukaimon digivolving into Pidmon and went “time to go the angel route” as a spin on Patamon. Outside of MagnaAngemon (and Angewomon for that matter) I tried not to use Adventure/02 digimon. I picked Dominimon but hesitated between it, ClavisAngemon and SlashAngemon.

For Outism I first wanted to have an Olympos XII member then wondered whether or not there was a trojan horse digimon, Lo and behold there was ! As for the rest I worked my way down : Cherrymon being a duplicitous tree (he tried to manipulate Yamato during the Dark Master arc) fit Outis being suspicious, kiwimon is kind of a filler pick and Alraumon is a fake Palmon.

Finally for Gregor I picked the Wormmon line though with some changes. I chose Snimon instead of Stingmon to harken to G Corp Gregor and while there’s a roachmon I felt it was too on the nose. As for Bloomlordmon I hesitated with going with GranKuwagamon or HeraclesKabuterimon but leaned more on this one mainly to distance a bit from bugs since Gregor has two plant based E.G.O.

That should be it for now.

#limbus company #digimon #long post #limbus tamer

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sleepysigh · 5 months

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On the Air

I recall disembarking

The last train I'd ever take from London

Snatching newspapers for my nest

From the rows of empty seats

A convenience, a kind gesture

Uncomprehended

Just another confused pigeon

Who wandered in from off the street

You took me home,

I think about it now and then

Fed me pork belly and halloumi

Doubt I'll ever have it again

Snuffling through your kebab boxes

In the morning, by the bins

Just another fox who managed to sneak in

And isn't it your home

Here where I am home, I thought,

How has it sprung up around me,

How did this place come to my feet

And when I go,

Will it be as some visitation

Some strange happening, some vestige

Near forgotten, bittersweet

In the night when I couldn't help myself

I lay snoring in my sleep

Just another man

Who didn't know who he was

And you woke in the teeth of a dream

You looked down at me, screaming,

Striking at my face,

Seeing a nest of worms beside you

And I, ever faithful to a bit

Writhed in surprise

cried for you

When I fled back where I came from

I chattered at your window

My voice so shrill and cracking

Another bastard squirrel

Revealed at last, cornered,

Afraid and attacking

Where I have been

I know I left a wreck,

Or maybe just a bit of mess to sweep away

The path of least resistance

Was not the path of none

But I am a creature, come to see you,

Who neither lost nor won

But battered myself at an open door

And in my panic

bit you to the bone

Now in some stranger's driveway

I think of three pound cider

And shame myself,

That drink is all I think to miss

But in truth it's just the safety catch

And unlatched, I remember

Walking tipsy on the pathway

With my arm around your waist

Swaying, up above me,

Like a flagpole where I clung

Hoping to be raised,

You lowered to me for a kiss

How I regret, my darkling lover,

The errors that I held to

Never admitting to you

I was more than I could give

And what you gave me, if you miss it

I hope the hole healed smoothly

Inside me still are jagged edges

For me to cut myself against

But it's an old snare

I have grown around it now

It bites me to the quick,

I don't resent it

Didn't I capture myself in it,

Glad of it, with every squirming gasp?

But when I think of you breathing

Upstairs somewhere, typing,

I hope the line I tied around you

Turned loose so long ago

Or never kept you fettered in its grasp.

It's an unkindness to one of us,

I don't know who,

To hope I fade like insects

In the winter

But all I thought to give,

I gave you as a pest

My famine love,

my trash woven nest,

The clumsy beats of this heart I told myself

Bled only on your thorns

and not my own.

You are a place now where home lived

Breathed around me as I was,

Scraping at my chrysalis with claws of molten bone

I do not miss you;

as you are now

I doubt I will ever know,

But who you were, I wear,

Tagged as a wild raptor,

Everywhere I go.

#poem #poetry #writing #creative writing #over ten years since I met you #but not since I spoke to you last

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gayspock · 1 year

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okay girlies trek movie marathon ahead go go go we're starting with the final frontier

so to set the mood its 10am and i have hot cocoa (fancy one i got for chrismas + marshmallows (vegan ones i got for chrismas)

goodness fucking gracious they really put the budget into this one again didnt they. i mean i know they do for the trek movies in general in comparison to the shows but fuck me this feels like a step up even from tvh

okay girlie pops lets do therapy in the desert . practice mindfulness with me really think about the sand on your feet ow hot hot hot

i wish someone would do this to me to be honest i take the piss but cant some beardy vulcan cunt come up to me and chat about starships and the whatnot

ISNT THIS SYBOK BTW. spocks first retroactively added sibling. btw i wont share how much i hate that fucking choice in so many ways and how theyve done it fucking twice n- sorry seeing red breathe deep. hesgot a good presence t-

AHRHGHGH OGUGHHFHFUAHDHHGF FUCK I FORGOT THE TREK THEME DOOO DODODOOO DOOOD OOO MY PUSSSYYYYYYYYYY SOAKEDDDDDDDDD SHES MAKING THE SAME NOISE SH oh christ i took that one too farback up back up

i sometimes think theres no way ppl read these lbs but if theres one person there hi the credits are rolling

guys the hot cocoa is making my tummy hurt btw but that might also be okay so i got this vegan kebab meat and i didnt know you meant to cook it so i ate the whole pack raw and it was already expired but its like vegan so it cant like be like meat levels of insanity right..... right like im not getting worms am i its. uhm. whatever guys hesclimbing

wheres he going .

dude

I SAW CLIPS OF KIRK CLIMBING UP THIS BIG FUCK OFF MOUNTAIN BEFORE AND I KNEW BILLY SHITSTER PUT THIS IN TO WANK HIMSELF OFF BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A PLOT RELEVANT SCENE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CUNT IS JUST DOING IT FOR THE JOKES

THERES NO WAY THIS IS SO FUNNY . KIRK COME BACK DOWN FROM THERE

hi bones- OH MY GODDDDD HIS CUTE LITTLE JACKET HES SO CUTEEEEEEAND HIS LITTLE SCARFFFFF

PUT THIS CUNT RIGHT ONTO YOUR PINTEREST BOARDS LADY HES-

okay ffucking hell the way william shatner still says "spock" i forgot it was like that

"1200 points of interest in yosemite and you pick me" right i forgot they were like that

his spoots.........

that made me laugh i wont even lie the way the cunt just feel

can we get a close up on the dancer cat woman please just for uhm my own . purposes interests i dont - OH HERE WE GO- THREE TITS?

WHOS THIS GIRLBOSS

CAITLYN KATELYN KAITLYN whichever its spelled- also romulan??? i assume that there's been some cultural mingling but imagine if you met a fucking cunt from mars called Sarah.

anyway shes beautiful as hell . for what reason.

seriously the dusty desert planet in scifi they all look the same its so funny

right the prblem is syboks actor is charming as all hell. fucking divert that smoldering gaze i feel fucking weird as hell

OUGHHH SCOTTYYYYYY HII BABYYYYY CAKESOUGHGHH HI ENTERPRISE OHHHHH HIIII UHURAAAA

oh my god she looks so good she LOOKS SO GOOD ... ahh nichelle 3: ... shes got such a good onscreen presence though man HELL its a shame they didnt utilise her more earlier

okay so they decided to put them together i forgot about that im not mad i gues

sulu and chekov hi guys theyre just vibing in the woods HI GUYS SORRY IM NOT IMMUNE TO NOSTALGI AND SEEING MY FAVOURITE GUYS

GUYSSSSS CAN WE ALL BE NICIESSSSS

"ive always known i'll die alone" ALRIGHT GIRL...

this is actually so cute i wont even lie im not endeared im not (is endeared) theyre on freaking holiday together

MARSHMELLON

SPOCK THEY ARENT VEGETARIAN

except for mineeeee that i have om nom nom

afterthe ritual camp sing along we all have insane freaky gay sex onscreen for the rest of the movie. its normal. it would also be less gay than them singng row row your boat like this

im absolutely ctazy for the sfx in this movie like it feels like half of them are pretty solid but theres just random bits that look so janky this is exactly how i want my star trek i wont even lie to you

also i cant tell if this klingon part is meant to have subtitles or not

ok i found the script online + im following along iwth that LOL ... i guess it makes SENSE why the actual subtitles arent like on the video itself but its still funny

sorry to be crass but i know someone somewhere has edited this to say spock (goes off to do that)

the way it takes me 10 million years to watch a movie you have to understand theres sidequests in every movie for me to do

GOD....

THE UNIFORM JACKET WITH THE JEANS THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME. ABSOLUTE SLAG MOVES. COME ON SERVE ME CAKE CASUAL STYLE

i love it when the enterprise is busted to be honest its so good i hate functional ships i love it when theyre breaking- fuck me i wanna relisten to wolf 359

i already know the plot twist of that being his brother but its very fucking funny nonetheless that spock just sees his broth-

UI WASL

I WASLITERALLY JUSY ABOUT TO SAY THAT ITS VERY FUNNY WHEN SPOCK SEES HIS BROTHER AND IS DEAD SILENT LIKE "THATS SO ME AND MY BROTHER WE DONT NEED TO TALK LIKE THAT"

AND THEN MY BROTHER DEAD SILENT PUSHES A BIRTHDAY CARD UNDER MY DOOR. THROIWING UP. COSMIC TIMING THANKS BUD

by the way ive actually heard a lot of bad things about this movie and im absolutely agreed that this is corny as fuck but frankly when it comes to tos movies... im actually on board if its corny, even if the story might suck in the end. i mean granted- im hardly into the meat-meat of the movie yet. i dont doubt people slate it for NOTHING, and i presume i'll understand the problems better the more i watch (after all i am already kind of irritated with syboks existence even if i do quite like the actors vibe) but its like... hm how do i put this...

im not actually ever against, like, "nostalgia bait" stuff , i guess, and having fun with things if its kinda a) self aware enough and b) well earned. does that make sense? if it isnt taking itself too seriously and bigging itself up in a dramatic way, AND there's a solid foundation to actually have fun with then im okay with a movie that kind of only spins on the funnier, more casual moments and is somewhat self-indulgent in terms of how it panders to fans with, like, showing them all having fun camping .

the issue for me is when its either, as i said, unearned or trying to take itself too seriously... or maybe, like, when it does veer too close to flanderisation or even just spinning the wheels on the characters. its why i think a lot of chibnall doctor who doesnt realyl work when its trying tobe "fun" or "goof off with the fam" like... you guys never really did the legwork to establish these characters well enough to have that, you know?

and im not saying tos has marvellous character work- we can be honest, and say that outside of the triumvirate theyre all over the place- but i do think theyre solid enough to crry and im well okay with that yeah?

and anyway thats all to say. ive known too many pretentious types disavow all sorts of media that does kind of act a bit self-indulgent or does something fun/stupid and i dont know man i do agree in many ways but also, like, entertainment is sometimes meant to be entertaining and its hardly the worst ever if a star trek movie just fucks about a bit instead of doing some epic space opera every single time, nor does it ruin the entire franchise or work that came before it. its why i really fucking rate the voyage home- because it lets itself take the time, take the breather after the other three movies. like i understand if it does purposefully undermine something else but like... i dont know i feel like some people ironically have such a shallow mindset sometimes where theyre likt, fucking hell, its the death of all media because they were silly 1 time and did something a bit funny/had fun (esp if it isnt just to their tasts)

(adnd yeah its also like... i dont know you know osme ppl who seem to have 0 media awareness in terms of like.. yeah man you can wax pretentious gobshite all you want but also its star trek man and thats not to belittle the franchise in any way but also manage expectations of what youre going to be consuming AND also realise that its not BAD that not everything is, like, you know some high calibre art and that actually that diversity in art is kinda better for your media diet tbh like they all serve a diff purpose like- you know so unrelated its also like im sorry it reminds me of all the discourse around knives out and the such and people not taking that movie into context and whatever the fuck or ALSO how im watching bsg lright now and i know im tempering my expectations interms of what that will deliver, what it will do and even further than that the actual politics)

( BC THAT ALSOOO is a whole other thing im so off topic here where its like im obbiously not talking about genuinely harmful media here but ive seen some ppl online kind of assume that media has to cater to their exact political alignment or else it isnt good and its like i absolutely agree you can analyse/dissect that and with bsg i do sort of like look at it and think well are we being serious with what we're doing here but also like eh shrug its kinda weird when you go in with the intention that apiece of art has to come to your exact own personal conclusions about the world by the end of it do you know what i mean . like i dont even mean tht in terms of like.. trying to defend things, but i mean that in terms of your own personal growth and open mindedness and appreciation for others' worldvew... anyways im so off topic im so so off topic this is literally the final fontirer 1989 here)

anyway im like

IM THE WORST IM RAMBLING LIKE THIS WHEN IVE BATRELY WATCHED THE MOVIE BC LOL #ANNOYING WHEN THIS ISNT EVEN RELATEDDDDDD

my point is i feel like what ive seen so faris kinda fun and the dialogue though corny and whatnot has made me smile enough that i feel like if this is gonna be sustained throughout im not gonna be mad if the overall plot does suck which idk is contrary to what i thought before i started bc ive heard such bad things about this one

which hey i guess theres other stuff behind that too because going back to that self-indulgent part.... it is obvious billy shits is, as i said, having a long self pleasure session . i also know theres other problems there tbh too-yeah...

ANYWAYS

can someone edit in them kicking their legs and giggling 👆

OK I SAID ALL I SAID ABOVE BUT THE UHURA SCENE WAS THAT ONE NECESSAY GUYSSSSSSS

also my god i eed to stop pausing ive been watching for almost 2 hours and im 40 minutes in thats so fucking funny

sybok: "ok but dude i didnt want anyone to dieeeee i was joking"DUDE PLEASE

the catgirl is feral i repeat the catgirl is feral

oh so it turns out the hostages are rather cheeky

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CHANGE THEM OUT OF THEIR GOOD OUTFITS UGHHH BOOOOOO LOSERS BOOOO at least sybok is slaying does he have long hair? i do like that; i do appreciate that

"which will take...?" "exactly 15.5 seconds" "AN ETERNITY, DURING WHICH-"

I GET WHAT THEY MEAN BUT LOL

can i also say i think i said this when watching bsg but i love how many scifi ships have a lets fuck off really fast mode. its so fuckinh funny.

YHE GIRLS ARE FIGHTTIGNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"PICK IT UP" I LIKE HOW HE HAD TO BE TOLD.

AND SYBOK IS LIKE BE SERIOUS I KNOW YOU ARENT GOING TO D- SHOOT HIM? KIRK. BE SERIOUS . HE WONT DO THAT

KIRK YOU BEST NOT BE GOING INTO A STROP LEAVE SPOCK ALONE WILL E VERYONE LEAVE SPOCK THE FUCK ALONE

can i also say . sarek is a right fucking whore. how many wives did he have . like after amanda how many human women did he go through exactly

okay so round about this point i got distracted for another half fucking hour guys its so ufnny how long it takes me to watxh movies

THE WAY THEY JUST KNOCKED SCOTTY OUT. COME ON GUYS HELP

jim being tired climbing up when he literally beasted that mountain come on behave

THE SPOOTS ARE MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY sorry.

the way they all got on together.... please... i will say BOTH times ive expected spock to straight up bridal carry kirk somehow

also i will say god . throwback to pk wars; im still laughing at how farscape presented the eidelons as, like, the answer to peace when its literally brainwashing just like this and its totally unacknowledged. anyways

WHY ARE WE GIVING BONES DADDY ISSUES

THIS IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY

IM UNDERSTANDING MORE WHY THIS MOVIE IS DRAGGED BUT I CANT EVEN HATE IT ITS FUNNY TO ME BONES WE'RE GIVING YOU THERAPY TONIGHT

its so funny with bones they just give some random horrors to him whenever the fuck you know and then its never brought up again god love god bless

sarek can be so....

sarek can be so funny im sorry i know this isnt the time im watching him reject infant spock but do you remember in tng when he and picard were... well... they were well acquainted pen pals werent they if you understand me . its like hes a whore . hes a terrible father. hes like the worst. but hes kinda funny sometimes.

OKAY SPOCK SLAYED THAT GET HIS ASS

BONES LOYAL TO THE BESTIES

igotdistractedgaian guys btw this is so bd its like 1pm i started this at 10am but do you know what i need some new shoesso i needed to go find some and research do you know what i mean

i focus now i focus

THE GANG MEETS GOD. WHY NOT.

i always find it outrageously funny whenever they meet god or go to eden in sci fi . beyond hysterical. why not guys hes just been chilling somewhere why not babes .

KIRK BEING LIKE EXCUSE ME ☝️🤨...?

SORRY THATS SO FUNNY . HEY GOD. EXCUSIES. SCUSIES. [GETS HIS TITS BLASTED OFF]

thats funny as fuck

AGAIN IM SEEING MORE AND MORE WHY THIS IS CLOWNED ON THIS IS RANDOM AS ALL HELL BUT ITS FUNNY AND SO INCOHERENT AND THE PACING IS ALL OVER . GOD BLESS THIS MESS

"but captain we're firing directly on your position" can you have a little fucking fun for once chekov light it up bitch

HE SAID OOIEEE YEOWCH

woah he said damn... he said damnnnn

are you about to say sorryyyyyyyyyy

THATS SO FUNNY

THE KLINGON GUY JSUST SAID SOWWWWYYYY I WONT DO IT AGAIN BWAA..... THATSSO FUCKING FUNNY

GOD

YOU WERE NEVER ALONE... DUMBASSS.

PLEASE CAPTAIN. NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS FUCKING HELL. GAY ASS

"i lost a brother once. i was lucky i got him bakc" you guys remember when kirk actually lost his brother like hsi real life brother who died

OUGHGHH OH MY GOD THEIR OUTFITS BY THE CAMPFIRE YESSSSSSSSS

CANT WE GET JUST A MOVIE OF THEM CAMPING SORRY THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MOVIE LIKE THE REST OF IT WAS DEAD BUT I RATE IT FOR ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

HELP...

OKAY THATS OVER

SALUTATIONS I NEED TO TAKE ABREATHER BUT THEN WE'RE ONTO UNCANNY COUNTY

#Egg.txt #undescribed image #star trek liveblog #this is so funny bc last year i didnt get to continue the marathon + my autistic ass said #''you can only continue it on THIS day'' so i seriously have been waiting like #2 years to finish the trek movies isnt that funny as fuck

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zivazivc · 2 years

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Got tagged in a “WIP game”

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips. (You can make your own post or reblog this one!) I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? Dnd campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!

I have a lot of wips, some i haven’t touched in months/years and I don’t know when it stops being a wip in that case... and I don’t have a wip folder... i’m not organized like that so this was quite a ride finding some unfinished projects burried between finished ones.

i’d like to thank @p-artsypants for tagging me because otherwise i wouldn’t run bridge to search for all my unfinished psd files and find some gems i completely forgot about. like i’m definitely finishing one of the comics now that i know it exists and is still funny after two years

brie

dark origins

Three is Better Than None3 2022

weekend_road_trip

tmnt close_enough2

first kiss

A Lifetime Ago

adriengabriel

ramona - post brain worm

gbtmnt

Meet Your Match

S01E01-02 Rise of the Turtles

meet rawr

wreckingbull sketches

wreckingbullcomic

Colors Are a Distraction

Kinya's redemption

genderbend

slash

S02E07 Slash and Destroy

charactersheets_acrocatau

adrien_noplagg

S02E10 Fungus Humungous

dinamite

pudingpuppy

review

repete alkimist

S02E17 Newtralized

knuckleshimbo

flyingcar

wholegang

srh

rasey_hug

humantmnt_ml

ml stripi

adrien kebab

Taking Care of your Dead One

nailpolish

spoiled

color_red

cunninglikeafox

potok

mojeobleke

oxtiger

MLffic acrocat začetek

mariesroom

narodnanosamiraculous

cat_lila

all the titles are in no kind of order so it’s more of a surprise

EDIT: forgot the part where i tag people

I tag: @carpisuns @anna-scribbles @tizzymcwizzy @sabertoothwalrus @turtle-ika @kc-sketches @anris-resurrection @snuffes @syrva and anyone else who wants to do it :)

#answered #meme #challenge #ask #if i end up getting too many asks like the last time i did the neopets brush thing #i'm only answering the non anon ones so i don't get burned out #but i'm not saying this to discourage you from sending an ask #tag game #wip game

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everysongineverykey · 2 years

Note

Prove it! Sing it right now without checking.

WOAH! if it isn't a LIGHT-NER! HEY H-H-HEY HEY! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE all alone on a late night? ALL YOUR FRIENDS, Abandoned you for the slime YOU ARE? SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[drain! drain!]]? LIVING IN A GODD*MN GARBAGE CAN?? NYAHAHAHAHA! FRIEND, EITHER YOU'RE CLOSING YOUR EYES TO [Savings!] YOU DO NOT WISH TO ACKNOWLEDGE, OR YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THE CALIBRE OF [Discounts!] INDICATED BY THE PRESENCE OF A [HeartShapedObject] IN YOUR COMMUNITY!

HEY, KID, LOOK AT YOU! RIGHT TIME! RIGHT PLACE! RIIIIPE FOR THE PICKING!RIGHT MONEY IN YOUR POCKET YOU'RE SO LUCKY VERY LUCKY OH SO VERY VERY LUCKY THAT YOU GET TO BE INVESTING IN THIS VERY SPECIAL PRODUCT FROM EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE numberoneratedsalesman! CIRCA1997 MIGHTY PROUD TO SAY IT! MIIIGHTY PROUD TO SAY IT YES I'M MIGHTYPROUDTOSAYIT YES SIR!

DON'TCHA WANNA HAVE A LITTLE FUN LITTLE SPONGE LITTLE SOMETHING TO PLUCK YOU FROM THE GLUM HUMDRUM LIVE COMFORTABLY (CAPITAL AT RISK) YUM YUM! LISTEN UP FORTHEOFFERONLYCOMESJUSTONCE HEY CHUM! I CAN SEE YOU'RE HAVING VIOLENT THOUGHTS BUT DON'TCHA WANNA WANNA BE A BE A BIG SHOT! INQUIRE TODAY WHILE THE SECRET'S IN STOCK! ALL YA GOTTA DO IS [[Hyperlink Blocked]]...

I used to be nothing but the e-mail guy, now i'm the [[IT BURNS! OW! STOP! STOP! HELP ME! IT BURNS!]] guy! NYAHAHAHAHA We've got never bettered bargains we've got deals you won't believe we can tell you what you want before you realize what you need if you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee we take cash or card or credit but we'll take your heart for free...

ARE YOU FEELING DOWN? HAVE YOU LOST CONTROL? IS YOUR LIFE A MESS? DO YOUR FRIENDS DESPISE YOU? WELL HERE'S one weird trick discovered by a mom! and i'm sure NUMBER FIVE WILL SURPRISE YOU! ALL YOU'VE EVER DREAMED OF, SHINING, GLISTENING, GOTTA BUCKLE UP, GRAB LIFE BY THE [Silly Strings!] YOU CAN HAVE IT YOU CAN HAVE IT SAY THE WORD IT'S YOURS- NYAHAHA! i wasn't listening :]

see it says just here right here last year on the third of the fourth at five-oh-six you searchedcatpicsonline well that's just fine! ~Moist Delicious Cookies~ little tippy tap kitty catalyst now we have a list and we'll guess what every habit is:

wanna buy a cat flap, cat food, catchup, catamaran you'll be categorically catatonic at the catalogue of categories i have at my hands [A cavalcade of all your favorite brands!] AN ADVERTISM SCHISM CATACLYSM [Cash on demand!] YOU'D BETTER CANCEL YOUR PLANS! CASH FOR THE CRACKERS AND THE PICKLES AND THE FLYPAPER WANNA BUY A CAT PLUSH PLUSH TOY TOY BOX BOX WINE WHY WON'T MIKE JUST CALL ME BACK-GAMMON HAMANDEGGS EGG CHAIR CHAIR BED BED BATH BATH SPONGE SPONGE WHO HATES HIS FOURDOLLARNINETYNINE LIFE-BOAT BOAT SHOE SHOE STRING STRING BEAN BEAN BAG BAGPIPE PIPE BOMB BOMBER JACKET JACKDAW DOORSTOP STOP NO PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY FURNITURE- STOPWATCH WATCHDOG DOG COLLAR COLORADO ADDERAL ADS ARE ALL SEEPING PING PONG PONCHOS CHOKE CHAINS CHAINSAWS SWORDFISH SHISH-KEBAB BOBCAT- DO YOU WANT A CAT OR NOT???

WELL YOU WANNA BE A BIG SHOT DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU WANNA BE THE NEXTBIGTHING! YOU CAN DO IT YES IT'S TRUE IT'S REALLY TRUE THERE'S NOTHING TO IT I CAN PROVE IT HEAR THE REGISTERS RING! RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING-

YOU'RE KIDDING. IT'S FOR YOU.

Wanna know a secret...?

[[Hyperlink Blocked]]

YOU TOO CAN HAVE A Communion! WITH NYAYAHAHAAA! SOON I'LL EVEN SURPASS THAT DAMNED [[ClownAroundTown!]]

We've got never bettered bargains we've got deals you won't believe we can tell you what you want before you realize what you need if you'll pardon us the jargon here's our Darkner guarantee we take cash or card or credit but we'll take your heart for freeeee-

HOLY CUNGADERO THERE YOU FUNKY LITTLE WORM YOU SEEM UNAWARE OF ALL THE MONEY YOU COULD EARN IF YOU WANNA GET THE GOLD WELL THERE IS STUFF YOU GOTTA LEARN MILK THE HUMANS OF THEIR KINDNESS THEN THERE'S BUTTER TO BE CHURNED, YOU WANT. IT. NEED. IT. DON'T. YOU. SEE? BUUUT IF YA WANNA MAKE YOUR SCREEN GREEN, YOU'RE GONNA NEED MY KROMER KEY-

AND WE GOT TROUBLE, MY FRIEND WHADDAYA TALK RIGHT HERE IN CYBER CITY! SEE I USED TO BE A [Top-notch!] [Big Shot!] BEST DEALS! BEST WHEELS! BEST [Best prices in the tri-state area!] BUT YOU CAN GET IT BACK! NYAHAHA YES YOU CAN! ALL YA GOTTA DO IS FOLLOW THROUGH MY [[Twelve-step plan!]] BIGGER, BIGGER, BETTER LIKE THE TELEPHONE WAS TELLING MEYOU GOTTA KNOW THE TERRITORY! SPEND A HAND, LEND A GRAND-

WHO'S GONNA PATRONIZE AN ITTY BITTY TWO-BY-FOUR KINDA STORE ANYMORE? GOTTA GO! GOTTA GET! GOTTA GET ON AND GO! MAKE A DEAL! [[Big deal!]] [[High score!]] OUR STORE IS CLOSINGHOT TIP DROP SHIPPING FOUR THREE TWO ONE NOT SKIPPING OFFERS WIRED INTO YOUR INBOX SWING BY THE GIFT SHOP THINK OF THE [[Big shot!]] ALL THIS AND MORE, CLICK [[Hyperlink Blocked]]

...can anyone hear me? help...

...mike...

...mike?

hahah!

[[INSURANCE!]] KNOW THAT I'M THE BESTINPOLICY! HONESTLY! DO YA WANNA END IN POVERTY? BUDDY I'M THE ONE TO HELP INVEST IT PROPERLY! I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT EXTENDED WARRANTY!!! IT'S A SUPER BUMPER LIQUIDATOR LAST CHANCE FIRST DAY HALF PRICE FIRE SALE LIKE NEVER BEFORE! WHEN IT'S THERE TO EXPLORE! WHEN YOU STEP IN THE DOOR THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL STORE-

ButTheFactIsEverybody'sGottaHaveItGottaHaveItThosWhoHaveItReallyHaveItIfYouHaven'tWellYou'veHadItCouldn'tHackItNowTheHaven'tsHaven'tHadItAndTheHavesAreVeryGladIt'sJustTheHaven'tsThatAreLackingWhatThey'reHaving! NOW THE ADS HAVE GOT THE TRAFFIC AND WE'VE GRABBED YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC SO YOU'RE PACKING UP YOUR BASKET CAUSE YOUR DAD HAS GOTTA HAVE IT (He'll be sad if you don't wrap it with a tag! It'll be tragic!) SO YOU'RE MANICALLY GRABBING AT THE SHELVES AMID THE PANIC, SEEMS THAT EVERYBODY HAS IT, MAN, YOU REALLY GOTTA HAVE IT, SO YOU GET IT, YOU'RE ECSTATIC, BUT A CRACKLE IN THE STATIC AND THE IT IS OUT OF FASHION, JUST A FAD, A PIECE OF PLASTIC, SO YOU TRASH IT AND YOU GET BACK IN YOUR CAR CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE IT AndTheFactIsEverybody'sGottaHaveItGottaHaveItThosWhoHaveItReallyHaveItIfYouHaven'tWellYou'veHadItCouldn'tHackItNowTheHaven'tsHaven'tHadItAndTheHavesAreVeryGladIt's, HOCHI MAMA, WHAT A MOUTHFUL!

IN THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF Being afraid! THERE AIN'T NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF TIL THERE'S FEES TO BE PAID! THERE'S DEALS TO BE MADE WITH [[Seasonal Savings!]] REGIONAL RATINGS ARE LETHALLY FADING, SCREAMING AND RAVING, CEASELESS APPRAISING- Neat little plate with a needless engraving! LEGALLY GREY BUT SWEET WITH THE PHRASING, FEET IN THE GRAVE BUT GLEEFULLY TRADING!

FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING- Deals so good I'll $!#& myself! FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING- DOWN TO THE CRACKER BARREL, PICKLE BARREL, MILK PAN FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING- I can feel that Smooth Taste already! FEEDING THE CRAVINGS, EAT, LITTLE PLAYTHING...

[[Hyperlink Blocked]]

#drops dead #i realize you have only my word that i did not check while typing that. but this took me like a good ten to twenty minutes.#i would not lie to you

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dandeland · 2 months

Text

cant believe i’m going to actually make art for this-

#needles #tmagp needles #jane prentiss #tmagp spoilers #worm kebab #wormkebab #wasp kebab #waspkebab #crackship #do not archive #needles name is so good for ships #you wanna ship them with an eye avatar? needleeye.#you wanna ship them with Ink5oul?#tattoo needle #or inkedquills #my ship naming talents are wasted by my disinterest in romance arent they #ive actually converted some people to the waspkebab cause already

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thewritingboi · 1 year

Text

Grand Reopening - Chapter 5

Old wounds part one

TW: Some body horror, i will put a TW when it starts and ends

Henry walked over to the metal box that he had retrieved when he was in DaveTrap's body and flipped the latches. Opening the box, the pink eyed corpse grabbed the pile of wires with a white clown mask perched upon it.

--------------------------------------------------

Dave turned around to look at his rabbit counterpart and gasped.

"Damn, I didn't know I looked that fuckin' ugly!" Dave spat

"Come here ya purple fuck, I can't see like I used to and that makes it hard to beat the shit out of you" DaveTrap growled back

Both men charged at each other, as Dave reared back his fist to strike his adversary the rotting rabbit dropped on one knee and launched his fist into the aubergine man's gut. Dave stumbled back and slipped on the wet ground caused by the rain the night before, thinking quickly Dave grabbed a nearby rock and chucked it as hard as he could at DaveTrap. The stone hit is mark and crashed into the springlocked man's face, knocking off a chunk of metal and flesh.

As DaveTrap stumbled back Dave hopped to his feet, whipping out a kebab he packed for lunch he took off all of the meat in one bite and in one swift motion throwing it into DaveTrap's eye. The rabbit grunted in pain before slowly pulling the spike out of his eye and twirling it in his hand.

"Bad move willy, bad move." DaveTrap said smugly before charging at his doppelgänger fo a second time

Dave doged and weaved as the rotting man kept slashing and stabbing, the aubergine man grabbed DaveTrap's wrists and slammed him downward into his knee. As the rabbit stumbled back Dave grabbed a switchblade out of his pocket and activated it.

"Oh thats cute." DaveTrap said throwing the kebab stick into the wall and reaching into the nearby dumpster to retrieve his ax

o shit Dave thought as he threw his knife into DaveTrap's chest before running away towards the pizzeria. As he ran he felt a burst of pain in his calf knocking him to the ground, looking down he saw a the fire ax in his now bloody leg. DaveTrap walked over the the bleeding purple man and retrieved his ax, laughing at the yell of pain that came from the man. The moldy rabbit raised his ax and swinging it towards Dave. TW

"STOP!' DaveTrap heard a shout and looked up at the perpetrator, he saw the homeless man with thick bloody wires ripping through his flesh "we need him alive."

Dave felt his heart drop into stomach as he gazed at the decaying mix of metal and flesh with his old father figure's voice, the tube-like wires wrigged around in the corpse poking out of its eyes, ear, mouth, and the gash in his chest. It pulsated like it had worms under its skin, its blood seeped out of it like a rag being wrung out. Dave heard it cracking and clicking as its broken bones shifted under its skin. TW over

Dave fell unconscious from his blood loss and shock as he felt his limp body being dragged away

---------------------------------------------

Jack paced around the living room glancing at the clock every few seconds. Dave did not come home with them today, at first Jack thought that Dave was just at a bar or stopping by the store but after he didn't show up three hours after everyone got home Jack started to worry.

"He will be fine" Said a shadow voice behind him

Jack whipped around and spotted BlackJack resting on the couch with his head on his paws

"BlackJack you know you should be with Dee, she's been so lonely without her and Peter having the bunk bed." Jack shot back

"She is fast asleep and I could feel your distress, why must you be so worried about your crush. He is a being of chaos and very resilient." BlackJack said calmly

"I don't have a-" Jack begin when a letter slipped through the mail slot "what the hell?"

The orange man walked over the the envelope and picked it up. Opening it Jack felt his heart sink and his head swim as he gazed at the picture of Dave, bloody and bruised a gag stuck in his mouth and a blindfold around his eyes. Underneath the photo a sentence written in pink ink read

"I always come back"

----------------------------------------------------------------

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN

So first of all thank you to affogare and Pkkooo for the kind words of support on the Ao3 version of this story, you do not know how much i needed to hear that

Second of all the Henry/Ennard hybrid thing was inspired by the Fnaf fanfiction "The difference between staying alive and living" on Fanfiction.net but that's a little bit of a spoiler so i won't elaborate (but do check that story out! it is really good)

Third of all as you have probably noticed this chapter is a two parter, i've been a bit busy with school and what not so i have not had much time or motivation to write but i was suddenly hit with inspiration and determination to write so the next chapter will be up sometime soon

Love you all! See you on the flipside.

#dsaf #dsaf au #dayshift at freddy's #fanfiction

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askberdly · 2 years

Note

Woah! If it isn't a Lightner!

Hey hey hey hey hey hey!

Looks like you're all alone on a late night?

All your friends abandoned you for the slime you are?

Sales gone down the drain? Drain?

Living in a goddamn garbage can?

Haeahaeahaeahaeah!

Friend, either you're closing your eyes

To savings you do not wish to acknowledge

Or you are not aware of the calibre of discounts

Indicated by the presence of a heart-shaped object

In your community

Hey, kid, look at you! Right time, right place!

Ripe for the picking! Right money in your pocket!

You're so lucky! Very lucky! Oh, so very, very lucky!

That you get to be investing in this Very Special Product

From everybody's favourite number one rated salesman

Circa 1997. Mighty proud to say it! Mighty proud to say it!

Yes, I'm mighty proud to say it! Yes, sir!

Don't you wanna have a little fun, little sponge?

Little something to pluck you from the glum humdrum?

Live comfortably, capital at risk! Yum, yum!

Listen up! For the offer only comes just once!

Hey, chum! I can see you're having violent thoughts!

But don't you wanna wanna be a be a big shot?

Enquire today! While the secret's in stock!

All you gotta do is

Hyperlink blocked

I used to be nothing but the email guy

Now I'm the "It burns! Ow! Stop! Stop! Help me! It burns!" guy

We've got never bettered bargains, we've got deals you won't believe

We can tell you what you want before you realise what you need

If you'll pardon us the jargon, here's our Darkner guarantee

We take cash or card or credit, but we'll take your heart for free

Are you feeling down? Have you lost control?

Is your life a mess? Do your friends despise you?

Well, here's one weird trick discovered by a mom

And I'm sure number five will surprise you

All you've ever dreamed of, shining, glistening

Gotta buckle up! Grab life by the silly string!

You can have it! You can have it! Say the word, it's yours!

Eahaehaehaehaeh! I wasn't listening

See, it says just here, right here, last year

On the third of the fourth at five-o-six

You searched cat pics online, well, that's just fine

Moist, delicious cookies

Little tippy tap kitty catalyst

Now we have a list

And we'll guess what ever habit is

Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?

You'll be categorically catatonic

At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands

A cavalcade of all your favourite brands

An advertism schism cataclysm, cash on demand!

You'd better cancel your plans!

Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper!

Wanna buy a cat plush? Plush toy? Toy box? Box wine?

Why won't Mike just call me?

Backgammon? Ham and eggs? Egg chair? Chair bed?

Bed bath? Bath sponge?

Sponge who hates it's $4.99?

Life boat? Boat shoe? Shoestring? String bean?

Bean bag? Bagpipes? Pipe bomb? Bomber jacket?

Jackdaw? Doorstop?

Stop! No, please! Don't take my furniture!

Stopwatch? Watchdog? Dog collar? Colorado?

Adderall? Ads are all seeping! Ping pong? Ponchos?

Choke chains? Chainsaws? Swordfish-shish kebab-bobcat?

Do you want a cat or not?

Well, you wanna be a big shot, don't you?

Don't you wanna be the next big thing?

You can do it! Yes, it's true, it's really true

There's nothing to it, I can prove it!

Hear the registers ring!

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring

You're kidding? It's for you

Wanna know a secret?

Hyperlink blocked

You too can have a communion with—

Soon, I'll even surpass that damned clown around town!

We've got never bettered bargains, we've got deals you won't believe

We can tell you what you want before you realise what you need

If you'll pardon us the jargon, here's our Darkner guarantee

We take cash or card or credit, but we'll take your heart for free

Holy cungadero, there, you funky, little worm

You seem unaware of all the money you could earn

If you wanna get the gold

Well, there is stuff you gotta learn

Milk the humans of their kindness

Then there's butter to be churned

You. Want. It. Need. It!

Don't. You. See?

But if you wanna make your screen green

You're gonna need my Kromer key

Yes, you've got trouble, my friend! Whadayatalk?

Right here in Cyber City!

See, I used to be a top notch! Big shot!

Best deals! Best wheels! Best prices in the tri-state area

But you can get it back! Ha ha ha! Yes, you can!

All you gotta do is follow through my twelve-step plan

Bigger, bigger, better, like the telephone was telling me

You gotta know the territory! Spend a hand, lend a hand

Who's gonna patronise a little bitty

Two by four kinda store anymore?

Gotta go! Gotta get! Gotta get on and go!

Make a deal! Big deal! High score! Our store is closing!

Hot tip! Drop shipping! Four, three, two, one!

Not skipping offers wired into your inbox

Swing by the gift shop! Think of the big shot!

All this and more, click

Hyperlink blocked

Can anyone hear me?

Help

Mike

Mike?

Hahahaha!

We've got never bettered bargains, we've got deals you won't believe

We can tell you what you want before you realise what you need

If you'll pardon us the jargon, here's our Darkner guarantee

We take cash or card or credit, but we'll take your heart for free

Insurance! Know that I'm the best in policy!

Honestly, do you wanna end in poverty?

Buddy, I'm the one to help invest it properly!

I'm here to talk about extended warranty!

It's a super, bumper, liquidation, last chance

First day, half price, fire sale like never before!

And it's there to explore, when you step in the door

The very model of a modern major general store!

But the fact is everybody's gotta have it, gotta have it

Those who have it really have it

If you haven't, well, you've had it, couldn't hack it

Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's

Just the haven'ts that're lacking what they're having

Now the ads have got the traffic

And we've grabbed your demographic

So you're packing up your basket

'Cause your dad has gotta have it

He'll be sad if you don't wrap it with a tag, it'll be tragic

So you're manically grabbing at the shelves amid the panic

Seems that everybody has it, man, you really gotta have it

So you get it, you're ecstatic, but a crackle in the static

And the it is out of fashion, just a fad, a piece of plastic

So you trash it, then you get back in your car 'cause you don't have it

And the fact is everybody's gotta have it, gotta have it

Those who have it really have it

If you haven't, well, you've had it, couldn't hack it

Now the haven'ts haven't had it and the haves are very glad it's

Hochi mama! What a mouthful!

In the encyclopedia of being afraid

There ain't nothing to be scared of 'til there's fees to be paid

There's deals to be made with seasonal savings!

Regional ratings are lethally fading

Screaming and raving, ceaseless appraising

Neat, little plate with a needless engraving

Legally grey, but sweet with the phrasing

Feet in the grave, but gleefully trading

Feeding the cravings, eat, little plaything

Deals so good I'll— myself

Feeding the cravings, eat, little plaything

Gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan

Feeding the cravings, eat, little plaything

I can feel that smooth taste already!

Feeding the cravings, eat, little plaything

Hyperlink blocked

#berdly #deltarune #ask open #deltarune askblog

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casspurrjoybell-25 · 2 months

Text

The Healer of Shakkara - Book One

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 5 - Unwelcome - Part 2

"Shit. That was fucked-up. Are you okay?" Triss asked and Galen nodded but the strange feeling hadn't faded and more than anything, the woman's words left him confused.

"Do I really look like them?" he asked, directing his words at Triss.

"Like a Pyrran, I mean?"

Pyrr was one of the most distant regions of the Empire...at least if one traveled from Thryn and the Pyrran goods that came to Dern did so by Edraxi trade ship.

If Galen had ever seen a Pyrran, he didn't know it but Triss had been to the capital at Tal P'Nir and there were all kinds of people there.

Triss shrugged.

"I guess. Most have warm brown skin and dark hair, like you and they're known for their beauty."

"Two out of three, then," Galen said.

Behn made a face.

"Gale, you're prettier than most Thrynian girls."

"Most, huh?" Triss asked and Behn turned the color of a beet.

"Well, not you, obviously, I just mean... in general... you know."

He flapped his hand and Triss narrowed her eyes at him but the corners of her lips twitched.

Galen knew Behn had a crush on Triss.

Triss knew, too and Behn knew they knew but by unspoken agreement none of them ever acknowledged it.

"Anyway," Triss continued, her expression sobering.

"Behn's right. Pyrrans are... prized for their looks. In the capital, at least, if they're not mages, they tend to be..."

"Pillow-slaves?" Galen guessed and Triss grimaced.

"No. Slavery's been illegal in Pyrr since it joined the Empire... on the surface, anyway. But yeah," she added, her voice dropping almost to a whisper.

"That's the idea. More importantly, if people are looking at you and thinking 'Pyrran,' they're also thinking 'magic,' Gale. That's not good."

"So I've heard," he sighed.

"Maybe you should dye your hair," Behn suggested, brightening.

"I could help. My aunt dyes her own wool. I could ask her."

"Is that the same aunt who turned herself blue for a month?"

Triss shoved his shoulder as she pushed herself away from the wall.

"Anyway, I'm hungry. What do you guys say to fried fish kebabs? I saw an Edraxi ship pull in this morning and they always put up a stand."

"Edraxi?" Behn hedged doubtfully.

"Don't they fry things in meal-worm oil?"

Triss winked.

"You'll only know if you ask. Coming, Gale?"

Galen drew a breath and forced a smile.

What he really wanted was to go home but he knew his friends would worry if he did... besides Triss had stood up for him while he'd sat there like a pile of 'turd-biscuits,' as Behn would say.

The least he could do was go along.

"Sure. Edraxi fried vegetables always hit the spot. Probably the worm oil."

He and Triss took turns teasing Behn all the way down to the docks and by the time they arrived, the strange feeling had all but faded.

Still, he couldn't help but notice how much quieter the docks were than usual.

No children ran back and forth along the stone walkways between the water's edge and Dern's high walls and almost no Thrynians traded with the vendors in the market stands lining the narrow space.

The vendors, too, cast wary glances at Triss and Behn, as if unsure whether their appearance meant profit or trouble.

Triss marched up to the dark-skinned Edraxi man tending a food cart and plunked a handful of coins on the table.

"Two fish-kebabs and one fried veggie plate," she said in Sakkaran.

The man blinked coal-black eyes at her and nodded once, before turning away to prepare the order.

While they waited, Galen and Behn sat with their legs hanging off the side of the quay, watching the ships arrive and depart.

The murky water, muddied by the constant river traffic, lapped at the smooth wall of stone, five or six feet below.

It smelled vaguely of lamp oil and fish and the daily morning fog always left a thin, slippery patina of grease on everything.

"Oh, wow. Look at that..." Behn pointed excitedly at a sleek vessel just rounding the bend.

It had a long, pointed bow, narrow sides and triangular sails, the foremost of which was red.

"That's a Sakkaran ship. I wonder what they want in Dern?" he frowned and Galen followed his reasoning.

Sakkara... the heart of the empire... was a two-month journey by the fastest route and Dern was far from the most important town in Thryn.

In fact, it didn't even make the list.

As the vessel drifted nearer, Galen could make out figures on the deck, tossing ropes and other gear as they prepared to dock.

Only one figure stood still, leaning at ease on the gunwale at the bow, as if he had nothing at all better to do.

"Lazy bastard," Behn remarked, spotting the man as well.

"Must be rich. Wonder what he'd come to Dern for?"

Galen could guess.

Even at that distance, he could see the man's shiny black braid over his shoulder and his pale skin glinting like snow in the sun... just as it had in the woods.

Scrambling to his feet, Galen backed away from the water's edge and into the shadows beneath the walls of Dern.

"Gale?" Behn twisted to look at him.

"Are you all right?"

Galen kept his eyes on the ship.

The man hadn't moved and there was no way he'd spotted him from so far off.

Still, he seemed almost to be looking right at him.

"Actually... I'm not feeling so well," he said.

"I think I'd better go home. Tell Triss I'm sorry, okay?"

He turned and slipped away up the path towards the nearest gate, not waiting for Behn to collect himself enough to make a reply.

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annotated-catastrophe · 6 months

Text

Last night the sound of the fan wormed into my dreams so I dreamed I was being fed into a wood chipper that worked like a pencil sharpener by my feet. But for some reason I was just like "hmm. Yummy kebab meat." instead of screaming in pain so I kept reaching down and eating the meat as it was sliced and it was like the consistency of raw chicken and very warm and moist.

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jurgensclark-blog1 · 7 months

Text

Unveiling the Exquisite Flavors of South African Cuisine

Unveiling the Exquisite Flavors of South African Cuisine South African cuisine is a delightful fusion of diverse flavors influenced by the indigenous tribes, colonizers, immigrants, and various regional ingredients. This culinary melting pot has given rise to a unique array of dishes that are as rich in taste as the country's cultural heritage. Traditional Delicacies One cannot talk about South African cuisine without mentioning the iconic dish - "Bobotie." This is a mouthwatering Cape Malay recipe consisting of spiced minced meat baked with an egg-based topping. The combination of flavors from Africa, India, and the colonial era creates a perfect blend that represents the diverse heritage of the nation. Another traditional gem is the "Bunny Chow," a dish born out of Indian influences. It consists of a hollowed-out loaf of bread filled with aromatic curry, often made with lamb or chicken. This street food delight has become a staple in South African cities, cherished by locals and tourists alike. The "Boerewors" is a sausage made of beef, pork, or lamb and flavored with a unique blend of spices, including coriander and cloves. It is commonly enjoyed at braais (South African barbecues) and is a must-try for meat lovers. For those with adventurous palates, "Mopane Worms" are a delicacy found in the northern parts of the country. These crunchy edible caterpillars are high in protein and are often cooked with spices and served as a snack or an accompaniment to other dishes. Cape Malay Cuisine The Cape Malay community in South Africa has played a significant role in shaping the country's gastronomic landscape. With its roots in Southeast Asia, their cuisine showcases intricate flavors and aromatic spices. The "Bobotie" mentioned earlier is a prime example of Cape Malay influence, with its fusion of spices like turmeric, cinnamon, and coriander. Other popular Cape Malay dishes include "Bredie" (a slow-cooked meat stew), "Sosaties" (marinated kebabs), and "Koeksisters" (sweet syrupy pastries). Braai Culture and Diverse Meats Braaing (barbecuing) is a cherished South African tradition. The country's vast landscapes and diverse wildlife offer a wide variety of meats to sizzle on the grill. Beef steaks and lamb chops are traditional favorites, but South Africans also enjoy game meats like kudu, springbok, and ostrich. These lean and flavorful meats offer a unique taste experience that should not be missed. And don't forget the peri-peri chicken, marinated with fiery South African spices and grilled to perfection. Conclusion The flavors of South African cuisine are testament to the nation's rich history and cultural diversity. From traditional delicacies to Cape Malay specialties and braai culture, there is something to tantalize every taste bud. Exploring the vibrant culinary traditions of South Africa is a treat for both the stomach and the soul. Frequently Asked Questions Q: What are the popular South African desserts? A: South Africa boasts an array of delightful desserts. Some popular choices include "Malva Pudding" (a sweet baked pudding with apricot jam sauce), "Koeksisters" (syrupy pastries), and "Melktert" (a South African version of custard tart). Q: Are vegetarian options available in South African cuisine? A: Yes, vegetarian options are available in South African cuisine. Dishes like "Chakalaka" (spicy vegetable relish), "Pumpkin Fritters" (sweet pumpkin pancakes), and "Butternut Soup" are just a few examples of the vegetarian delights you can savor. Q: What is the significance of braai in South African culture? A: Braai culture holds a special place in South African society. It is not just about grilling meat; it is a social gathering where friends and families come together to celebrate and enjoy good food. It promotes a sense of community and is often accompanied by lively conversations and laughter. Read the full article

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