Thinking about the Bad Parents this episode because like, imagine your child, who's constantly burdened with the fate of the world, comes to you after school and says it's not enough. That they have to take the Last Stand exam and it's tomorrow. You have no time to take time off work to be with them, to be able to wait for them when they get home.

And then the next day you say goodbye in the morning, you kiss them on the head and tell them you love them. But you know that the next time you see them they will have died. You know that all the day you're at work, your child is fighting for their life in a drastic last stand. How do you focus with that knowledge? How do you move on, wondering if your child is already dead? That while your working or doing chores, your child could be lying on a sandy flood, dead, while all their friends fight for their lives?

How do you move past it? How do you live out that day?

objectively the funniest part about gorgug’s parents being swingers is that he is still the only bad kid not somehow related to the others. like yes digby and wilma FUCK but they are not part of the polycule

emily repeatedly whispering swingers and siobhan muttering yeah a sex swing while zac as gorgug does the most incredible face journey is killing me

can't wait for the thistlesprings to pull up on porter's home address with the tank they canonically have when they find out about what he said to gorgug

the worst day of gorgug's life being the day he has to fight his parents sentient, turned-evil sex machines rather than the day he literally died seems like a fair call to me

still not over brennan’s choice to establish the thistlesprings as people who made the most of the night yorb situation in a particular kind of way and then immediately trap them in a washer and dryer and start the spin cycle. insane behavior

guys stop me if i'm wrong because i don't want to be right.... but I just watched Boys' Night (the roll20 oneshot) again and it's canon at the end of sophomore year that digby and wilma have NO FRIENDS, no social life outside of knowing the parents of other party members. and then digby goes on a camping trip with only gilear and jawbone (and gilear doesn't make it !!). now who could be the friends that came over during the summer.....??

Hot take: if they had been even a little bit more involved in s1, the Thistlesprings would have been good people to take in Kristen!

They're open in a way that directly contradicts everything her parents were against, including about sex and such! She would have actually had adults in the home that she would be able to talk to about it! Also, they're really dedicated and I think would so a better job of checking up with her! Not that Jawbone and Sandra Lynn are doing a bad job, they're just super outnumbered as things are! The Thistlesprings are less busy! Plus I think it's be cute for her and Gorgug to get more screen time together (especially when you consider that he's the first person she talked to in Freshman year idk I think that's nice).

To add to the bit of it all, it would make Kristen and Gorgug siblings to further cement the whole they're-slowly-becoming-one-big-family thing

Personal Ranking of the Fantasy High Moms, From Worst to Best:

Arianwen Abernant: -19999/10. She's not as bad as Angwyn, since she's convinced herself she's a good mother, but her "I just want the best for you" shtick isn't any better, and the fact that she's ignorant about how horrible she is doesn't make up for years of neglect. And she also attempted to rope her daughters into raising a being of pure nightmares because she lost her status, so.

Donna Applebees: 0/10. Conservative, racist, judgmental, only loves her kids conditionally... you get the gist. Also, she's absolutely a Karen.

Hallariel Seacaster: 3/10. Yes, I know, she's a MILF, she's got such an iconic vibe, she's a badass with a sword, but none of that excuses years of being emotionally absent from your son's life. She's not a bad person, but she unfortunately doesn't know how to be a mom. Sorry, Hallariel. I wish I could rank you higher.

The Last Phoenix: 5/10. Bird. She's a bird. We don't know enough about her except for the fact that she is the last phoenix, she started out as a "haha Arthur Aguefort is a crazy motherfucker" gag, and she gave us the incredible gift that is Ayda. I cannot rank her fairly, but given that she is Ayda's mom, she goes on the list.

Roz Last-Name-Unknown: 6/10. Same deal with Gorbag---we don't know enough about her for me to properly rank her, but we do know that she was a teen mom, and she's made the choice to reconnect with her son and be in his life. Props for that.

Sandralynn Faeth: 7.5/10. I am ranking her realistically, but let it be known that I love her so much. She is such a beautiful example of a flawed person who consistently tries to be better, and even though she does relapse into old behaviors, she's still growing---and outside of the serial cheating (that is a response to trauma, by the way) and occasional lapses in social skills, she's a pretty damn good mom, all things considered.

Cathilda Ceili: 8/10. She's the parent that Fabian needed, even if he didn't always realize it. She's sweet, she's caring, and if anybody hurts her boy, she will fucking rock your shit. (Also, the reveal of Cathilda being an incredibly fearsome and ruthless pirate outside of Solace was one of my favorites.)

Wilma Thistlespring: 9/10. She's a caring and supportive mom who writes songs, is sex-positive, and loves her son! Again, she does need to recognize when she's embarrassing Gorgug, and she needs to recognize that he's gotta learn how to be angry, but still! We all love her!

Lydia Barkrock: 9.6/10. While she doesn't quite get the full score due to the fact that her son was briefly an ass, it clearly was not her fault, and from what we've seen of her, she is a fantastic mom. She's a badass disabled powerhouse who cooks incredible spreads and cares about her son and his friends a lot. I love her a lot. She's amazing.

Sklonda Gukgak: 10/10. She took that spot in her very first scene, where she poured water in her cereal so Riz could have milk in his, and she's been holding it up ever since. Despite the fact that she's constantly swamped with work, Sklonda is literally one of the best moms you could ever ask for. She deserves the world and it's a constant injustice that she's not getting it.

Bonus: Garthy O'Brien, while having transcended gender and therefore not being able to fit into either of the "mom/dad" rankings, is an 11/10 parent---not just to Ayda, but to everyone younger than them who they've essentially adopted. Words cannot express my adoration for this person.

have we as a fandom considered what the thistlesprings canonically being swingers/having a sexually open relationship could do to the parentcule?

Silently adding Bill Seacaster and Pok Gukgak to my ever growing list of relationships in the Bad Kids' parents' Polycule

I made a map of the Bad Kid Parents polycule

I may have taken some creative liberties

the gukgaks and the thistlesprings both always stay strapped but in two VERY different ways

imagine you decide to go on the most awkward group holiday trip ever, like your kid’s friends and their parents, and literally everyone has relationship drama and situationships like at least one person you used to date and two people you’ve turned down are there guaranteed, and your kid and their friends have all gone to visit their friend’s ex/situationship’s corporate religious retreat and then suddenly like four gods are mad and someone is maybe dying and apparently the kids are all trapped in an extradimensional portal?? and then they just go to hell???? and you’re still stuck on this awful fucking trip just stuck in a room with these other parents and their goddamn relationship drama as you wait to hear back from your kid who, again, is in hell

happy trans day of visibility!!

Where are you falling on the fh npc scale today