#will probably write random bits & pieces for this instead of like. an actual fic bc rlly the au only works in bits & pieces lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inknose · 4 years

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mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

#mdzs readthru #this obviously has many spoilers

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

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BNHA AU Ideas: A Poor Bird

Also on AO3! (if you recognise the au it might be because I started a full fic which i abandoned because i realised a full canon retelling is l o n g. i’ll still probably write bits and pieces like the other AUs)

TL;DR: Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that Inko would ever let you know that.

AKA: Good dad Enji, bad mum Inko

TW: Child Abuse

Inko Quirk: Attraction of small objects Issues:

Many

Soooooooo many

Hisashi Quirk: All for one

Izuku Quirk: Push and Pull

Allows him to push objects away from him, or pull objects towards him.

If the object is heavier than him, the force acts on him instead

Injuries

Crush injures on the hand, never healed correctly

Limited range of movement + tremors

Issues

Feels horrifically ill if he uses his quirk, has flashbacks. Cant use it at all until he is trained by allmight

Can't remember his mother hurting him outside of flashbacks and nightmares. Only knows it happened bc katsuki can remind him

PTSD

Dislikes: Being called "cute" or being implied to be helpless but he can suck it up if hes not feeling too shitty.

Enji 47

First-year in All Might's final year.

Met Rei when he first reached the top ten, aged 22 and married her a year later, with fuyumi on the way just a quickly

Knows ab. All Mights other form

Rei 48

Does ballet!

Shouto 15

No scar

Yet, anyway. We can fix that.

Touya 19 Changes

A little less crispy fried, still scarred by his own quirk. Wears gold contacts undercover as Dabi

Natsuo

Studying Medicine

Fuyumi

She's a teacher!

Mushy Stuff feat. The Todoroki’s

enji is still number 2 hero. hes actually really nice? he just has a major case of resting bitch face. hes from a rich family, he got dragged out to a ballet to celebrate his becoming number 2 and he was whining we hes like, 21 and doesnt wanna see a ballet he just wants to go to work, or get drinks with his sidekicks. hes being a bit of a grump and his parents are living for their grumpy son bc he still has Round cheeks and hes adorable

anyway its been like, 20 minutes and the show finally starts and enji is like "god i can go home after this and s l e e p" but like, the lady comes out on stage and hes in love. tall, white hair and incredibly graceful. his mum has to hit him bc hes blushing so hard hes getting uncomfortably warm

after the show he like, breaks into her dressing room. hes got his hands clamped over his eye and he like "oh my god im so sorry if you are changing i promise im not looking i just have somewhere to be after this but please what do i have to do to get you to agree to go to dinner with me"

and rei is r e d bc the grouchy number 2 hero has burst into her dressing room and hes bright red and his hair is smouldering slightly and she just laughs and pulls his hands away from his eyes and tells him she'd love to. enji just walks out, faintly dazed with rei's number on his phone and hes so ridiculously happy he cant stop his hair from smoking

anyway, they date, they get married etc

but rei's ballet company is threatening to drop her if she has kids bc she wont be "perfect" anymore and she's torn up about it bc enji started dating her because of ballet and what if he hates her? but enji is like ",,, i kinda,,, love you? plus you and our hypothetical kids with be gods gift to this earth. i will buy you a whole ballet company if i have to"and shes crying and everything is soft

she has fuyumi and she is the worlds most perfect baby and enji is the most protective dad on this planet

then she has dabi bc she wanted fuyumi to have a sibling and dabi is born w his quirk and sneezes embers and enji is crying because his son is perfect

and then they have another kid bc they are sickeningly in love and their children are all wonderful and they have natsuo who likes to eat not food things and rei loves her chunky toddler. enji is crying because "hes gonna be such a big strong man" and also because natsuo keeps trying to eat his flaming beard

and then they have shouto bc "fuck it more children” hes born and rei is crying bc "look he looks just like you enji!" and enji is crying because "rei he looks just like you,,," and fuyumi is crying bc she has another little brother, dabi is trying not to cry bc hes a big strong 5 yearold and natsuo is like,,, 3 and hes trying to est his baby brothers hair and hes perfect

also!!! dabi is a double agent. he loves his dad v much and is pretending to be a villain to keep him and the rest of his family safe

enjis that dad that’s so fucking embarrassing and he does it on purpose?? during the sports festival he’s in his seat and he’s just “sHOUTOOOO” everyone turns and they’re just ???? todoroki s bright red but he’s yelling back

“wHAT”

endeavour, making a lil heart with his hands: “i love you and i’m very proud of you ♥️”

hi please enji sending photos of his kids to allmight all the time. all might fucking adores these little children and sends them so much random merch bc they are so fucking cute. he holds natsuo who’s trying to eat his weird bunny ear hair and he’s just

i love,,,these kids,,,

natsuo is a Chunky Boy. hes a toddler with the density of lead, hes so fucking heavy and round and allmight adores him. shouto looks at you judgingly even as a baby and allmight feels personally attacked

Pre canon + Training arc

in this au, izuku has a stronger version of his mothers quirk. like, really good telekinesis and he wants to be a hero! she hits him if he uses his quirk, makes him say hes quirkless and weak, says she just wants to protect him. she withholds food to keep him "perfect" because

"your father ruined me, now im all covered in ugly stretch marks and im disgusting, but ill make you perfect"

inko makes izuku wear feminine clothes and keep his hair long bc shes kinda trying to make him into like, the perfect version of her? and she always threatens to scrub izukus "fathers" freckles off his face with steel wool

shes ,,, conflicted about Katsuki

(katsuki knows something is up w inko and izuku so hes not terrible)

because she doesnt want her "perfect" sweet son to become brash like Katsuki but she kinda,,, likes her son being the damsel in distress that has to be saved by his stronger friend? and thinks that if izuku has a guard he won't need to be strong himself if they play in her house, inko is the villain, katsuki is the hero and izuku has to be the hostage that needs to be saved.

izuku tells katsuki about his quirk one day and he mentions it in front of inko. katsuki is almost thrown out of the house and he can hear izuku screaming from inside, and hes trying to get through the door bc his friend his crying and its not his fault. he stays there with this ear pressed against the door for hours. izuku stops crying after 45 minutes, inko starts saying shes sorry after 3 hours

inko crushed her son's hands

inko needs her hands for her quirk to work and assumes izuku does too? So she methodically crushes every finger and his wrists to try to ruin his ability to use his quirk. izukus hands heal but he cant write without it hurting and that makes him really upset bc he loves to draw. its the only thing that his mum lets him do that he enjoys. inko says sorry but she still blames him

"im sorry it hurt honey but mummy had to do it, you understand right?"

from that day forward katsuki starts training to be a hero bc he doesnt want anyone getting hurt like izuku ever again. he helps izuku train too in secret, they work together to lie because izuku wants to he a hero, and if he can survive his mother? he can do anything.

after that time w inko he cant use his quirk. like, physically? he can, but he has panic attacks and freezes up if he tries. basically izuku gets bullied for being quirkless, but not by Katsuki

ep 1 happen kind like normal. izuku asks "can i be a hero without a quirk?" allmight says no but he manages to use his quirk to save katsuki and katsuki hugs him as he cries, izuku pulls katsuki from the sludge villain w his quirk, allmight saves the day

the heroes are like, 2 secs from scolding izuku for using his quirk but the boy is having a horrific panic attack and they would feel bad ab it. also katsuki looks like hes gonna commit real actual murder if someone so much as touches izuku so they awkwardly walk away

allmight confronts izuku ab. the whole "i though you were quirkless" thing and izuku has another panic attack and all might feels terrible izuku is basically apologising for having a quirk??? that that sits really badly w toshi so he asks izuku if he can help him and katsuki train to be heroes and izuku cries and says yes

izuku looks at the time and starts crying again and allmight is like??? did i do something wrong???

izuku is sobbing that he doesnt wanna go home because "she'll be so angry" and toshi is like,,, holy shit im just gonna steal this child i guess but izuku convinces him hes overacting and izuku runs home, after toshi gives him his phone number and stresses that izuku is allowed to call even for "stupid" reasons

mitsuki is confused that katsuki looks so worried hes like,, pacing and he keeps sticking his head outside to look over the balcony to the street and checking his phone bc izuku hasnt told him what happened yet and hes scared that inko finally snapped and hurt him too badly to recover from

inko??? wasnt happy

shes beating izuku with heavy stuff and asking him if he thinks shes a terrible mother or something. izuku is crying because hes sorry and he didnt mean to use his quirk he was just scared. inko starts crying and is patching him up and says that she only hurts him because she loves him and wants him to be happy and perfect . izuku doesnt get food for 2 days after that, he has to sneak out to train w katsuki and all might. all might actually asks katsuki ab. it

"his mother is fucking crazy. my mum doesnt believe me but shes batty. lost it when her husband left and is trying to keep izuku like a fucking doll, its creepy"

izuku tends to wear gloves of long sleeves, or draws over his hands bc they are c o v e r e d in scares. on a particularly bad training day izuku cant hold his water bottle and he cant stop himself tearing up so katsuki holds the bottom for it and izuku is so embarrased and gratful and all might wants to cry because who hurt this kid???

like,, three? months into the training izuku comes up to all might and the kid is shaking and pale but he looks so determined and he says in the softest voice "i want to start training my quirk" and all might smiles like the sun

Entrance Exam

So allmight has already given his quirk to Mirio, he and nighteye made up. Hes out heroing, saves izuku from the sludge villain, Izuku doesn’t cling on but there is something ab the way Izuku looks at him that worries allmight so he stays to answer his question and runs out of time. Izuku asks if he can be a hero w/o a quirk, allmight hesitates. Izuku just quietly says "its ok, thank you for your time" and leaves. All might feels terrible.

He realises the sludge villain is gone, curses and runs towards the explosions. Izuku is wandering around trying to find Katsuki and sees the sludge villain has him. W/o wasting a moment he runs towards him, trying to pull him free. He uses his quirk to pull him out by the shirt and stands infront of katsuki to try to keep him safe. Allmgiht rushes in to help.

The heroes try to tell Izuku off but katsuki just yells at them and they hurry away. They run into Yagi and he tries to talk to Izuku but katsuki just yells at him. Allmight explains his form thing and tells izuku he can totally be a hero but oh hey werent you quirkless?

Katsuki is ab. To rip Allmights head off, izuku just explains he doesn’t much like his quirk. All might asks if he can help train the two of them to be heroes and they agree 100%. Izuku has to run home and leaves Katsuki w allmight. Katsuki tells him he'll need to look after Izuku and walks off in the same direction. Allmight is l o s t

Izuku gets beaten byhis mother for using his quirk, sneaks out to train with yagi and katsuki. Yagi is worried but there isnt much he can do. Mirio and Sir show up sometimes to chat w allmight and help training, All might admits hes going into teaching bc hes going to have to retire soon and Izuku tells him he'll be amazing at it, katsuki just roasts allmight

Day of the entrance exam mirio wishes them both good luck .

Izuku has told his mother hes taking the gen-ed written exam and has permission to go get food with katsuki afterwards. He has applied for gen-ed and the hero course and honestly doesn’t believe he'll get into heroics but he has to try.

Someone pushes him, Occhako catches him, they all say hello and enter the written exam hall. Izuku finds it easy as pie so hes honestly kinda worried that hes missing something (hes not, hes just smart). There is a moral dilema at the end of the test and he answers it in a way that concerns the markers (in a self esteem kinda way)

So they enter the auditorium and and izuku finds out he isnt in katsukis arena which makes im panic, but he tells him to suck it up because hes a grown as teenager and can handle himself which cheers izuku up. Iida calls them out for talking.

At the arena hes having a quiet breakdown, sees ochako and lights up, goes to talk to her but Iida tells him off for being a trouble maker. Someone in the crowd snidly asks "when did they start letting 12-year-old girls take the exam" and izuku feels like dirt. Mic calls start and his fight/flight is so overreactive he throws himself straight into the exam

Pulling rubble and crap w great force through the robots, he gets around 20 points? But after a while he just shuts down. He feels sick and he hates his quirk and his mother and his hnds ache and he just c a n t do it anymore.

Aizawa watches this kid in arena 4 crumple to the ground and he spares a moment to be sad for the kid. He looked promising, but its not the first time someone has cracked under the pressure durring the entrance exam. He sees allmgiht looking saddened out of the corner of his eye, locked on the screen, and thinks maybe this kid is why he asked to be excluded from the judging team.

Izuku sees the zero pointer and cant even bring himself to run away. But then he hears ochako cry out and instantly sprints towards her.

He pulls himself into the air and pulls as many shards of scrap metal and rebar as he can, and pulls them with all his might through the 0 pointer, turning into a giant pincusion. He runs out of energy, and just lets himself fall.

Aizawa feels his heart sink bc the kid is smiling.

Ochako saves him at the last moment, and hes miraculously uninjured but so out of energy he can barely stand. Recovery girl hands him gummies which he gratefully accepts and drags himself out of the exam. He meets katsuki by the entrance. He sees his tiny mess of a friend, pale and shakey but smiles and he picks him up and hugs him even though he will deny it till the day he dies. izuku is sure he failed but for one moment, using his quirk? he just felt so complete and free that he doesnt mind if he fails, just because he got to enjoy that one moment. bakugo tells izuku that hes gonna drag him into the hero course by his hair and izuku giggles

They go get food bc they need some relief.

Izuku doesn’t think he's in the heroics department but is hopeful anyway.

he and bakugo spend the week waiting for their letters "studying" for ua (aka, designing hero costumes, coming up with names, planning the fuck out of everything bc they are both crazy nervous and will never admit it)

inko hands izuku his mail and izuku is so nervous because if she looked? its game over but she just smiles happily and tells him to tell her if he got into gen ed. or not so they can invite the bakugo's over to celebrate

izuku walks calmly until his mum is out of sight, then he tears down the hall, stuffs a towel under the door and opens his letter under his blankets so she cant hear it. its allmgiht on the screen and he cries.

and he got in and he cries some more

and then he has a quick panic attack becuase holy shit this is a lot of lies hes going to have to spin because he came first in the entrance exam. his mum asks him if he got in and hes so grateful that his voice doesnt shake when he cries, as he says back "i got into gen. ed mum!!"

He finds out he got in and he starts to panic bc what is he going to tell his mum? Some point later Inko yells at him for just sitting around so he runs out of the house and to a cat café, and hes just sobbing because his face hurts from where she slapped him and he just wants to get out of the rain.

Shinso sees this kid, curses his heroic instincts and pays for 2 hours for him and the mystery kid. He just wanted to wallow in self pity for failing the exam he knew he was going to fail, but now hes got a crying kid to deal with

So turns out the kid is his age and is called Midoriya. As only izuku can do, hes shinso spilling his guts ab the hero course and his quirk in around 20 minutes. Izuku explains a bit about what his mother did to him, and that he got into the hero course but if his mother finds out hes scared shitless of what she'll do.

Shinsou’s family before Aizawa was shit, he gets it. And he sees this cute green-haired sobbing kid gently kiss a fat tabby on the top of its little head and decides he'd die for him.

They plot that they'll change shirts at the start of the day so inko doesn’t see the hero course shirt, and shinso will quickly tell him what they were doing in gen ed on the train home. Shinso does urge izuku to get help but izuku declines. His mother is sick and she's trying her best. She still loves him. Izuku is scared of who his dad is.

And it's not like anyone ever believed his soft, kind-looking mother could hurt her own son.

First day + Quirk Apprehension Test

Inasa is a recommendation student, along with Momo and Todoroki, was placed in Aizawa class bc his quirk is kinda wack.

Class does not contain Hagekure, Mineta is expelled

like, first day of school shinso is waiting down the road for izuku and bakugo is like,,, ha????? and shinso is like "oK So i have the hero course shirt, change behind a tree like a bunch of weirdos or wait for school" and izuku is like,,, “as much as my anxiety wants to change now so we wont be late i think kacchan might murder us if we change behind a tree" and bakugo is like??? "YeaH and WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY"

anyway! they take the bus and shinso explains that the bonded over a chubby tabby and that hes agreed to be izuku alibi and katsuki looks him up and down like ",,, you pass" and izuku giggles and shinso feels happy bc he didnt know the boy could giggle and its such a soft noise

anyway, izuku and shinso sprint into school to find a bathroom to change in, izuku tries not to cry on his hero shirt. they then proceed to speed walk to the correct class bc the other students have shown up and they dont wanna get yelled at. katsuki told izuku he could walk himself to class because "youre a big boy now" and izuku laughs again

izukus anxiety vs trauma is a continuous war bc anxiety says "hide behind friends" but trauma says "dont be weak and pathetic like inko says you are or shes been right the whole time"

izuku gets into class, bakugo is busy trying to scare iida bc iida is Really Getting On His Nerves. iida says hi to izuku and izuku almost cries before iida says that he was sorry for being a dick and then izuku almost cries again but bc hes happy

ochako bursts in like "OH MY GOD THE CUTE ONE GOT IN" and izuku is Red and like (a lil trauma but he shoves that way deep down) and says hi. aizawa crawls in and scares the actual shit out of everyone but izuku finds him super calming? bc hes just so fucking blunt and he doesnt have to look for double meanings

anyway, izuku gets called up to do the throw bc he came first and hearing aizawa say "use your quirk" made a cold sweat run through him but bakugo gave him a thumbs up so he felt a little better. The boy gets a crazy score. izuku gets a great score on all the stuff he can use his quirk for, but hes got terrible stamina/strength bc hes just so thin. hes placing like, first quarter of the class

so they finish, mineta gets kicked out

allmight is watching from behind a bush bc look at his boys go!!! his yelly boy and his crying boy!!. aizawa holds izuku back at the end of class, bakugo doesnt wanna leave him but tenya pushes him to the locker room

"so kid. thats a great quirk youve got there"

and izuku,,, really doesnt like talking about his quirk. he doesn't like using it. he and bakugo drew vines on his hands this morning to cover up the scars and hes tracing his fingers along them to keep himself from shaking.

aizawa looks him dead in the eye

"mind telling me why you are registered as quirkless?"

and izuku freezes. he cant breathe.

aizawa is waiting and his irritation turns to alarm when he realizes the kid i s n t m o v i n g. all might has seen izuku freak out before so he swoops in and sits izuku down on the ground and tries to get the kid to breath. he does but hes still shaking and all he'll stay is "im sorry" and "not again"

aizawa is very much shaken because izuku seemed pretty normal? then he remembered the kid shinso was talking about. allmight calls bakugo who runs back out onto the field, half in uniform and half in costume and hes trying to calm izuku down and he looks like,,, 2 seconds away from ripping aizawa head off and aizawa honestly thinks hes kinda deserves it lmao

its nearing the end of school and izuku isnt even down from his panic attack yet but bakugo n e e d s shinso to get over here so they can swap shirts or izuku is going to be in even more trouble than he already is. so bakugo is trying to get izuku to respond to anything, allmight has his hand on his not sons shoulder, aizawa feels like a piece of shit, and bakugo is trying to find shinso's contact number in izuku's phone

some of class a goes to look outside and aizawa lays into the and tells them to hurry up to class or he'll expell them all with mineta

anyway shinso comes running out bc his teacher is mic and is willing to let him do dumb stuff and shinso is like??? dad its been 1 day what did you do to the cat kiss boy?? shinso allmight and bakugo get izuku responsive enough that bakugo takes him to swap his shirts in the changing rooms and helps izuku clean up so its not obvious he was crying. shinso gets izukus stuff from his classroom. aizawa just turns to all might

“ok so what the fuck was that"

all might honestly shrugs "i barely know myself. kid has serious quirk trauma and is scared of his mother, thats all i can tell you" and aizawa is both concerned and annoyed bc ofcourse thsi si in his class

izuku and bakugo get home, alls good

Battle Trial

battle trial! its,,a ride

basically! izuku has his lil costume and ochako tells him he looks really cute and hes grateful + trauma. bakugo tells him he looks like hes ready to bust some heads which makes him feel better. todoroki is with iida on the villain team

they are chatting happily about have hero families and being melodramatic about being evil

Izuku is paired with inasa!

so izuku cant directly use his quirk on himself, but he can "push" against the ground, which sends him up. its useful for dodging but not sustainable

anyway, they work out that inasa's wind doesnt effect izukus telekinesis

basically:

izuku makes some dust, they roll in, todoroki is out and looking for them. he torches the dust but gets hit by a pebble to the temple. inasa is like, 100% impressed. they wrap todoroki up and inasa says sorry to his half/half bro. todoroki shrugs. bakugo is like, internally cheering and he has the most murderous smile

anyway, iida is melodramatic, inasa looses it laughing bc hes so funny and takes a big ol kick to the face. hes down, probs concussed but iida cant get in to tie him up because he almost gets squished by the currently moving bomb bc its paper mache its light and easy for izuku to pull on

iida decides he should probably take down izuku before anything happens, but at the last moment izuku pushes off the ground, dodging over iida and lightly tapping the bomb

hero team wins!!!

inasa and todoroki are both concussed which is awkward but its all g. izuku gets MVP but iida was a close second. bakugo like, friendly punches izuku in the arm and hes hiding behind bakugo bc people are looking at him but hes very happy

someone says "wow, your quirk is amazing" and hes like,,, "oh there goes my good mood." allmight and bakugo are about to tell this kid to shut the fuck up but get beaten to it by a concussed todoroki of all people

"its not the quirk its how he uses it you overipe melon"

izuku giggles until he cant breathe and bakugo is cackling. concussed todoroki looks so pleased with himsel

bakugo and kiri are teams up and they kick actual ass as the villains. like, crazy good, they take out the heroes and dont even have to let it run over time

because "if we win? we do it right."

izuku is like doing these little happy bounces and inasa is crying bc his partner is so pure

izuku and shinso meet up, change, go home

U.S.J.

Happens like 3 weeks in, not 3 days in. They need time to bond ok. Before the trip we get some general hyjinks.

the next day, its field trip time baby!!!

inasa makes izuku sit with him and todoroki and its a tight fucking fit bc they are sharing 2 seats. inasa has like,,, claimed this boy because he was so soft and izuku has a friend!! and hes very happy. hes like,, a little scared of todoroki but also kinda loves him for the overripe melon comment so

Kurogiri yeets the villains into the usj. allmight is out of time, aizawa runs in like normal. inasa, izuku and tsuyu get sent to the shipwreck zone. they do some cool shit honestly. inasa holds the 3 of them in the air, tsuyu hold the villains together as izuku yeets them into the hull of the ship and seals the hold and hopes the villains dont really care enough to break a hole in the ship. Inasa gets them all to shore

then they get to witness the nomu and izuku sees the punch thrown? and he moves without thinking, using all of his quirk he can to hold to nomus fist back. after he moves, inasa joins in, pushing the nomu back as much as the can. aizawa punches shigiraki and he gets m a d. shigiraki breaks the capture weapon and sends the nomu after tsuyu. inasa, who was closer, pushes her out of the way and takes the hit. its just like, 1 blow? but hes down to the count. aizawa tells tsuyu to take him and run

izuku wants to throw up

aizawa tries to get him to run but the nomu charges again and izuku has to pull aizawa out of the way. all they can do is play keep-away and aizawa is frustrated because no matter the training he has, he can't stand up to this thing. all he can do is rely on izuku's quirk, because the quirk can move faster than a human can. shigiraki gets sick of this, kurogiri uses momentum to send aizawa to the other side of the usj with kiri and Bakugo. they begin to run back to the plaza. izuku is scared, slips up, takes a hit. hes down, with broken ribs and his quirk is nearing overuse

shigiraki sees this kid's broken hands, laughs and makes the nomu crush them again

bakugo blasts in, grabs izuku. todoroki has the nomu trapped in ice, aizawa wraps izukus hands with what he was left of his capture weapon

all might bursts in. he has more of his quirk left bc he hasnt passed it on yet, takes out the nomu and has enough strength to still be standing. shigiraki goes to attack, and izuku basically uses the last of his strength to pull allmight towards him, then he collapses

the other heroes arrive with endeavour! because he was patrolling nearby and got the alert. is his agency in hosu? Yep! do i care? nope hes here to see his son!

aizawa is like, moossttlylyy ok? shigiraki got to his arm and he's got scrapes and sprains from being yeeted around by izuku's quirk but he's pretty ok. inasa has a punctured lung but is stabilized quickly. izukus bones arent fractured? but hes got a pretty bad crush injury to both hands + cracked ribs and low blood sugar. bakugo rides w him back to ua

shinso is there and hes a little panicky bc his dad and bro were in a villain attack. nezu comes into recovery girls office and is like "oh its ok! ive contacted everyone’s parents and they should be here soon" and bakugo is like "YOU DID WHAT"

nezu sweating ",,, what do you mean this is what im ment to do"

and allmight cringes; aizawa, on painkillers, is like, pretty concerned; bakugo is enraged. izuku isnt breathing. hes frozen, crying silently and hes perfectly still and it breaks recovery girls heart

hes got a big bruise of the side of his face, fyi

bakugo doesnt want to leave but recovery girl orders him out, all might gets made to leave as well. soon the only people left are inasa (unconscious) izuku (catatonic) and aizawa (guilty)

inko walks in. shes smiling. she grabs izuku by the hand, "its ok honey, mummy's here now!"and aizawa?? hes trying not to judge but he gets a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. inko pulls izuku from the bed by his crushed hand and izuku is silent. she has a hand wrapped around the back of his neck as she leads him out of the school

bakugo is at home and hes begging his mother to let him see izuku bur his mother wont let him because inko has been through something stressful and doesnt need you yelling! and bakugo is angry because shes never believed him about inko. he throws his plate against the wall and looks mitsuki dead in the eyes

"you'll regret that tomorrow. you'll regret that when you see what shes done to him"

his door slams

the day after the usj zuku isnt in school. shinso is waiting at the end of his street but only bakugo shows up. he looks defeated

"lets just go"

shinso spends the whole day in the hero course shirt

aizawa isnt surprized, loads of kids didnt show up to school the day after the usj, even non-hero kids, but then izuku isnt there the next day. bakugo is pacing, tugging at his hair as he waits for aizawa to show up. inasa looks lost, todoroki looks faintly confused, shinso is in the classroom, didnt leave to go to his own because bakugo doesnt know where midoriya is and hes waiting for aizawa

aizawa walks in with the bell. no izuku. his heart sinks. He looks around, and walks straight back out of class, sends mic to cover for him. he tells nezu. nezu has a terrible feeling and asks him and allmight to perform a wellness check. allmight uses his hero form, even though he doesnt have much time to waste, because this isnt a waste

they arrive at inkos house, they knock and she opens the door. shes smiling and asks if they would like to sit down, if they want some tea. there is blood under her fingernails

aizawa aks to use the bathroom, sneaks into midoriyas room. the kid is locked to the bed in the dark and aizawa wants to throw up bc he can smell blood and infection

inko took steel wool and scrubbed "off" every bruise on midoriya's skin to make him "clean" again

every mark

every cut

his hands are, oddly, untouched with their horrible crush marks healed by recovery girl as priority, but the side of his face, his ribs cage, the cuts on his arms and legs and back are raw. no skin, sticky blood dripping onto the sheets. aizawa goes over to izuku and he honestly smells like rotting meat because his room is hot and he has massive open injuries that are super infected. he tries to shake izuku awake and realizes the kid is burning. izuku fliches and is trying to pull away from aizawa, opening cuts and pulling at his wounds. hes so quiet aizawa wants to cry. he gently pats izukus hair and tells him he'll be safe now

hes walks out of the room and throws inko from the couch onto the floor, cuffing her. allmight is shocked, inko is screaming. aizawa cuffs inko to a couch and drags all might into izukus room and all might wants to cry

because, something aizawa hadn't noticed, every single piece of hero merch izuku owned has been ripped from its hiding place and crushed and torn on the floor. all might oh so gently breaks the cuffs holding into down and gently, gently picks him up. he cant stop the tears

izuku lets out the softest "im so sorry sensei" and aizawa has to leave the room. he sucker punches inko, calls nezu and an ambulance. inko is, thank god, unconscious now and the house is so quiet

so quiet aizawa can hear all might crying

mitsuki runs in bc she thinks her tiny friend is getting hurt and she sees her sons teacher sitting with his head between his legs on the floor like hes trying not to cry. he just points and she sees the number 1 hero holding this red and broken boy and she screams. she has to run back out to throw up into the kitchen sink

she calls Katsuki. hes sitting in class, most of the class is pacing or doodling, or chatting. mic doesn't have the heart to try and teach them but he also isn't cleared to tell them whats going on because he doesnt know

bakugos phone rings and the kid tears open his bag. all mistuki says it "im so sorry" and bakugo throws his phone into the wall so hard it shatters

mic like, yells bc a kid just shattered his phone and bakugo leaps over his desk to get to the door. mic grabs him by the collar

"hey listener? what do you think you're doing?"

bakugo is white and clammy

"let go." "listener?" "let. go."

mic drops him and bakugo tears down the hall, he kicks open shinsou's door and hauls him out of the room. midnight tries to stop him but bakugo is basically already off school grounds. shinso doesn't even need to ask, he can guess

they are running as fast as the can, faster than either of them have ever run. they don't even bother with the stairs, bakugo uses his quirk to haul them both up the side. bakugo and shinsou try to run in but aizawa just grabs them and pulls them close, he won't let them pass. aizawa isn't even angry but he won't let go of them, like hes scared someone will hurt another of his students, mitsuki drags Bakugo to her side and just holds him like she used to when he got hurt them he was little. the house is silent other than random crying, sirens in the distance

the ambulance comes and they come to take izuku but all might doesn't want to let go of this kid he's failed so badly, so he gently carries him all the way down and lays him on the stretcher. there is blood caked on his suit jacket

ok so as an fyi? izukus injuries arent terrible but hes missing a lot of skin. still has cracked ribs, has a serious infection and is critically dehydrated from fluid loss due to lost skin, plus the fact he hasn't been given food or water for 2 days

it's not the injuries that are the problem, its the dehydration/fever

1A is shaken. mic is shaken and 20 minutes after bakugo runs out? nezu announces that classes have been cancelled for the day and that students may remain on campus if they have no other way home and mic??? the guy is shaken. his husband is missing, all might left, nemuri says bakugo took shinso too

mic has to tell the class school is cancelled, 1 hour into the day but he can't tell them why because he doesn't know. momo, uraraka and kouda just kinda, start to cry bc they can feel something terrible has happened

todoroki invites everyone over to his house until school would have normally ended. they get over to shoutos house and hes like "so,,, you all wanna know whats happened right?" and he gets a bunch of silent nods. he just kinda, says a preemptive sorry to the pic of his dad on the wall and breaks open his hero office door. 1A is crowded around the computer as shouto, momo and tenya are scanning for anything in alerts and shouto stops and points

"minimal security transport and medical assistance to mustutafu, rapid response requested."

they click on it

Heroes Responding: Eraserhead (underground), All Might Civilian Involvement: 2 Adults (stable, no medical response) 3 Children (2 stable, 1 unknown. medical response requested) Villain: N/A Alert Type: Domestic Violence

tenya has to walk away. so does inasa and todoroki

Endeavour storms in bc "shouto, why did you break into my personal office-" and he sees these kids and they looks broken and his son just clings to him. he feels his heart drop, because he doesnt know whats happened, but its not fucking good

w recovery girl + iv fluids and antibiotics, izuku heals up pretty quick but hes got some big scars. shallow but red and angry looking

school doesnt start again until next Wednesday, 7 days after the usj and the dorms have been built

bakugo and shinso wouldn't leave izuku. like, aizawa threatened to expel Bakugo and he still wouldn't go. when izuku wakes up, his two brothers are holding his hands and he cries because hes alive and they are there

so, dorms

everyone swarms izuku bc that's the soft man who they love who saved them in the usj and also they thought he was dead for a hot minute and izuku is crying and there are hugs. aizawa is very fond of his dumb children and they train for the sports festival

U.A. Sports Festival

Events

Event 1 : Battle Royal

so like, battle royal w a shrinking perimeter. 3 hits and you’re out. A hit is contact with another person, thrown object or quirk.

they all wear like these rly uncomfortable body suits that register touches anywhere bc nezu is a nightmare. they all fucking hate these things and nezu is cackling be he had them made but no one would let him use them

during the event, bakugo yells "MAKE IT THROUGH AND SHOW THOSE CHUCKLE FUCKS WHAT 1A IS MADE OF” a resounding yell of “FUCK YEAH” echos through the examinees

no matter what nezu does, not a single member of 1A lands a hit on another. like, bakugo trips and izuku uses his quirk to get him out of the range f kirishima

all of 1A makes it through. all of them. every single one, followed by half of 1B, plus 10ish mixed gen ed and support kids

gen ed, absolutely disgusted: “it’s clear ua favours 1a”

inasa, outraged and very loud: “sAY THAT TO MY FACe”

please, during the fight izuku goes to throw a punch at the person in front of him, they turn around and all he can see its purple hair and eyes and he cant. he uses his quirk to push himself away from shinso

izuku like,,, takes out most of the people bc he yeets people at eachother. he and inasa protect everyon from 1A! todoroki and bakugou team up, double the fire power. ochako is sad bc she cant help bc she cant touch her class mates so she yeets rocks at people. sato / kiri / bakugo make a sit tone of rubble for her, inasa makes a wind vortex above 1A, then she drops it. thats how they take out almost everyone

Event 2: Blind Tag

after the event their costumes light up. half red, half white. the anouncment is just "red is it. if you are still it in 10 minutes you dont move on. good luck" the area turns pitch b l a c k. all natural light is gone so all you can see is the glowing suits (the audience can see bc they have heat cams) and cementoss adds some varying terrain.

- not gonna lie? it wasnt going to be blind tag but nezu didnt want the last fight to be just 1A

izuku is it he tags someone then avoids being tagged again

inasa is not it. he floats in a corner for like, the whole game but gets hit by ibara near the end

bakugo and todoroki are both not it and team up to make a firey circle of hell, they make it through

shinso does too and hes a really cool fight that no one but him and the audience get to see. he ends up choking this guy out, tags him and sprints away

Event 3: Tournament

momo/monoma, shinso/shoji, tsuyu/kendo, jiro/kuroiro, todoroki/hatsume, iida/awase, bakugo/kirishima, izuku/ochako

momo/iida, todoroki/shinso, izuku/tsuyu, bakugo/jiro

iida/izuku, shinso/bakugo

bakugo/izuku > Izuku wins

Vs. Hero Killer

Interns with Nighteye and Mirio as they do special training w gran. Working with Endeavours agency to find herokiller. Nomu attack, Nighteye tells Mirio to get Izuku to safety, Izuku tells Mirio ab. Iida. Another Nomu corners them, after internal deliberation Mirio tells izuku to go after Iida. Finds Iida, sends location.

Two Heroes

For one, Mirio and Nighteye are there, along with Izuku.

Forest Training Camp

They take Izuku too, because he was holding Bakugo's hand

Nighteye asks to see Allmight's future and allmight declines. Hes going to do it no matter what the future says, and he refuses to set it in stone by seeing it

Mirio is part of the rescue squad, 50% bc he's the one who will take the fall for the whole thing with his license. Besides, he knows about All for One, and it's his duty as a wielder of One for All to at least try to help his mentor.

"I mean, I could have just taken the boy's arm. But those nasty scars tell me hes very much seen the worst humanity has to offer. Perhaps he'd like to join as well."

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startofamoment · 5 years

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to all the WIPs i’ve loved before

rules: post your favorite parts of 3-5 fics that have been sitting abandoned in your drafts for ages. (for extra shame, throw in when you last worked on each thing.) tag 5 other writers to reflect on their life choices.

a pen pals au of sorts in which jake and amy share a desk and communicate via post-it notes (last edited: december 2017)

Amy is going to murder her deskmate.

The literal trash heap that greeted her last Monday was one thing, the sticky orange soda stain from last month was another thing, but this – this blatant disregard of property and boundaries and the sanctity of office supplies – is the Last Straw.

Spread out across her entire desk is a good fourth of the Post-it notes from the brand new assorted set she got from her brother Tony. They’re all arranged to look like various Star Wars icons, and a few of them are filled in with marker for apparent color correction. It’s horrifying.

Grumbling, she begins taking apart Post-It Yoda, keeping the salvageable pieces in a stack and throwing out the rest. When she’s cleared her entire table, she grabs her favorite pen and a fresh sheet then writes:

Hi, Please refrain from wasting my Post-its in the future. Thank you. - Det. Amy Santiago

She stares at it for a moment and decides, since this is probably the only passive aggressive note she’s going to write her deskmate, she might as well add:

PS: I would appreciate it if you would leave our desk clean at the end of your weekend shifts.

After checking it over once more, she places it in the center of her desk, ready to be read the following Saturday.

a dianetti cake shop au in which rosa owns and runs a store called arlo’s (last edited: june 2017)

Gina takes a moment to look over some of the cakes on display before clearing her throat and leaning over the counter. “’Scuse me, can you help me get a custom cake order started?”

“Sure.” The baker wipes her hands on a dish towel before grabbing a small notebook and pen from one of her pockets. “What’s the occasion?”

“Some old geezer’s leaving our precinct to enjoy retired life, or something like that.”

“Retirement party? Cool. Tell me about this guy.”

“Oh, sweetie, I don’t know or care about him. I’m just here cause my boss told me to order a cake.”

A smirk forms on the baker’s lips. “Ha. Do you wanna just do a standard cake order then? I usually do the custom cakes for more personalized, special events.”

“That’s probably smart. Which one of your standard cakes say: ‘Congrats on being old and rich enough to never work another day in your life, but sorry you’re almost dead’?”

She snickers. “I don’t know about that first part, but how ‘bout an angel food cake as a ‘hope you go to heaven when you die’ sort of thing?”

Gina grins and fishes through her purse for her wallet. “Oh, you should know my expectations on this cake are out of this world high. I’m only here because Yelp told me you’re the Beyonce of baking.” (Actually, she’s here because at least three reviews claimed the baker-slash-owner was “terrifying” and “gorgeous.” – They were right, on both accounts.)

a sequel to i could listen to you all day // the “after ever after” story in which jake and amy navigate their first year together as soulmates (last edited: march 2017)

Jake’s phone buzzed on his desk, breaking him out of his happy daydream. He picked it up and opened a new message from Gina.

“god, quit making heart eyes at the new girl!! your conscience would be v disappointed, kiddo.”

Gina, who had been watching him like a hawk from her desk, expected him to get all flustered and to text or yell back something overly defensive. She raised a single eyebrow when his face instead broke into a goofy grin and he straight up giggled.

Across from him, Amy looked up from her case files. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head and mumbled something about memes and the internet.

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips curled up into a smile. After he redirected his attention to his computer screen, her expression morphed into the same openly adoring look he had on his face the entire morning.

And then it all clicked.

If Gina had stopped to think about it, she would have recognized the new disappointment she felt in both herself (for taking this long to put two and two together) and her childhood best friend (for not keeping her in the loop). As she had not stopped to process anything, she instead yelled across the bullpen: “OH MY GOD. JAKE AND AMY ARE SOULMATES!”

All work stopped, and everyone fell silent. For a good minute, all that could be heard was the faint snoring from Captain McGintley’s office.

“Gina,” Rosa half-snarled, half-whispered. “You can’t just say that.”

“Oops, my b. Y’all know I have no conscience now so…” She giggled, winked at the leather-clad detective, and went back to her game of Kwazy Cupcakes.

Jake let out an awkward laugh. “Well, uh, that was -”

Out of nowhere, Charles appeared right in front of their desks. “Is it true, Jakey? Was Amy the voice in your head all this time?”

“I -” He glanced at Amy for help.

She bit her lip and shrugged.

This wasn’t at all how he envisioned making the announcement, but there was no use denying it. Still looking straight at her, his face softened into a smile. “Yeah… We’re soulmates.”

Charles squealed loudly. “You said the S word! Does that mean it’s official?” He gasped. “Have you said ‘I love you’? Have you met each other’s parents? When’s the wedding? What are you naming your first child?”

pretty much a crack fic inspired by the media’s post-olympics obsession with tessa and scott // my spin on a vm au bc i still refuse to write jake and amy as ice dancers (last edited: may 2018)

Like many of the other bizarre situations he’s found himself in, this all started with Gina. Over the last year or so, she’d been posting random photos and videos of all of them at the precinct. (“I’m devoting my energy to my new project, Ginazon,” she’d declared to the entire bullpen. “It’s a one-stop online portal for my legions of followers. I’m just giving the people what they want!”) Given that this was Gina of all people, Jake wasn’t at all surprised to find out that each post garnered hundreds of likes, but he’d never bothered to venture into the comments section. He’d never known about the apparent niche following that had formed, the group of fans – for lack of a better word – waiting with bated breath for him and Amy to get together.

Charles had only spurred them on, what with all the various Easter eggs on his culinary blog. (“This place has everything,” he’d written once. “My co-workers Jake and Amy even gave it their stamp of approval after they’d shared a quick lunch there before a long stakeout. Make sure to ask for the winter salsa; it’s wonderful!”) He’d sworn that none of it was intentional and that he would never do anything to sell them out, but everything he’d written had still been catalogued and analyzed by the pseudo-experts of the fandom. At this point, Jake’s main regret is not reading Charles’ weekly email blasts.

Their downfall – or rise to viral glory – came when someone from the so-called G-Hive happened to be in just the right place at just the right time, catching their (second) completely-platonic, spur-of-the-moment, done-in-the-name-of-justice kiss on camera. By the next morning, “Undercover Cops Lock Lips Before Locking Up Wanted Criminal” had been viewed on YouTube over a million times.

With everything about the entire situation already being so weird, they’d decided to just ignore their newfound fame in the same way they’d pretended the kisses never happened. (“We’re a great team. We work great together. Nothing should mess that up,” he’d said, repeating nearly his exact words from the night before.)

Evidently, there was no escaping this though. A formal press conference was set up, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for cases that caught the general public’s attention, except they’d ended up having to say more about their dating lives than the investigation or arrest. He can still feel his heart lurching in his chest at the first relationship-related question, still hear Amy loudly stammering out some vague answer about being “very professional.”

a smutty soulmate au in which jake and amy unknowingly share dreams every now and then (last edited: november 2017)

At this moment in time, Amy Santiago is undeniably, incomparably, drop dead gorgeous.

More specifically: she’s in the hot red dress Kylie convinced her to buy on their last post-trivia night celebratory shopping spree; she’s wearing a matching killer shade of lipstick picked out by her fashion-forward, shockingly sexual 13-year-old niece; and she’s got her hair swept into that one elegant yet fun side ponytail that caught her eye in a magazine a few weeks back.

Normally, she’d be proud of herself for managing to pull off such a look, except–

It’s been a good several hours since she tossed her dress into the hamper, wiped the makeup off her face, and tugged the elastic tie from her hair. She’d buried her head into her pillow and wheeze-cried herself to sleep shortly after changing into her pajamas, so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment over the night’s party-gone-wrong.

The thick haze shrouding her current surroundings tells her she’s in another one of her soulmate’s dreams, which helps a tiny bit in explaining her current appearance but really opens up more questions than answers.

tagging: @santiagoswagger @three-drink-amy @do-me-decimalsystem @arnie-santiago @sergeant-santiago

for the record, this was inspired by @disruptedvice and @elsaclack’s responses [x,x] to the writing meme!! i thought it was super clever of them to feature little snippets from various works and felt this would be a good way to give unfinished/abandoned fics some love!

#writing meme #wip meme #tag game #b99 au #i'm honestly shookt at the last edit dates on these #why am i like this #ngl i just wanted an excuse to post some of these bc i'm fairly certain they won't ever be finished RIP #if anyone else wants to do this pls feel free!!!#my stuff

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advernia · 5 years

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i’m amazed that i’ve been active for at least a couple days straight??? is it the effect of lesser fe3h playtimes + the silly coworker writing challenge at the workplace??? oh well ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

since i remembered i was trying to make work commentary a thing here, more rambling / author’s notes under the cut!

jul 6th // ikerev

push your way through the cracks is the first edgar/mc i’ve written here and while i’ve mentioned there that edgar is my fav out of the cast, i fear that i’ll probably take me a very long time to write another one bc... he’s my favorite. i noticed i have the tendency not to write much (or have finished works) about ships i really, really like despite... you know, liking them. hopefully not - shipping aside, i like exploring the characterizations of enigmatic types like edgar.

about the fic, i pretty much like it save for the second part bc i think i could’ve done something more with it - not exactly change the setting, but expounded a little further on it. i don’t know, it feels lacking somehow in comparison to the first two.

there are a lot of flower-related descriptions tossed here and there, but i think i succeeded in not being so purple prose-y? hopefully! this was pretty descriptive, i guess.

with this edgar fic present, that means i have 2 more red army doods to write about, namely zero & jonah. i was really aiming to make edgar the last one tho haha.

jul 12th // ikerev

weave me into your web is canon based, specifically pt. 24 of sirius’ route where they say ‘goodbye’. note those quotation marks.

i think i wrote this after a discussion i had with a friend about sirius & his route - she read some posts commenting on the route and she wanted a nearby opinion. we got into an agreement: while we do find sirius to be indeed husbando material, his route would’ve risked nothing if they gave him more / emphasized his flaws. his flaws, not mc’s, gosh.

no, seriously. in my opinion, mc fretting so much about being immature sort of blinds her from the little things that prove sirius is not so composed as he appears to be. it gets even worse when she realizes she’s fallen in love with him, and while i enjoy the black army going kira-kira rabu support team + seth being hopeless suitor, i’m going 50/50 on mc. she’s written to be indeed very single-minded come the war phase and while that’s not necessarily bad since she gets to broaden her perspective as she always does, i think i would’ve appreciated it if she came to most of the realizations on her own by reflecting on them based on how the events around her are progressing; and not simply by sirius / someone else pointing it out for her. no wonder she’d think she’s immature in comparison - it also irks me a bit that she keeps on fretting about her feelings for sirius. this is what i’d be sad to see again in other routes: the romance overthrowing the potential / present character development.

side note: i understand that in relationships with a notable age gap, maturity / perceived maturity can be a problem - i just wished that the route downplayed on this bc honestly, there are other things more interesting to explore than that angle, like, say; isn’t she from another culture or world or something????????? will those differences affect our potential relationship??????????????

on sirius himself, i recall reading on reddit that one person didn’t pick up ikerev for the reason that the cast is too perfect. that’s a fair opinion. i think i can relate this to sirius himself: while throughout the route you do see some flaws in him, he’s still overall the dude you’d write home about + that dude you’d dream introducing to your parents complete with that suave voice (thank u junichi suwabe). no, i’m not saying that he has to have some unlikable or quirky trait / wangsty backstory, it’s just that in my opinion he’s desirable but not exactly relatable. let him struggle, let me see him rise up from it. show me his humanity. there’s the scene with him and lancelot, but i want more. tho him being afraid of being alone is what i find extremely relatable and endearing about him, very nice. otherwise... well, maybe i have to reread the route again or smth.

anyway. the fic emphasizes actually on his character trait of self-control / restraint. did u know too much is bad for u??? it can reflect that since you hold yourself back too much, it could mean that you’re masking your true feelings, for example. there are various psychological studies on that. *stares at sirius* hMMM.

i took care to be quite descriptive on that kiss scene and at the same time, not to be so emotional on it bc it’s still sirius lol - i believe he’s not one to lose himself completely to his emotions, but he’s not that afraid to succumb to some of it - especially if he actually wants to feel them.

... this turned out to be a rant portion rather than a fic commentary now didn’t it

aug 24 // ikerev (i’m seeing a pattern here)

a beginner’s guide to waltz was seriously just some formatting experiment, then it blew up to something larger. i actually like it tho, it’s cute.

writing oliver is actually fun, not bc of the reason that i can be rude. he is rude, but he’s not like that for just the sake of being so. as seen with blanc, it’s probably a result of habit. why exactly he chose to be verbally aggressive is something i’d like to know in his route.

i have no idea how the relationship shift is portrayed either, but i do hope it’s a mortifying revelation on mc’s part lol. like, lookie here, that little kid with his wee shorts and pretty hat that you hang out with all the time and don’t care about acting so ladylike around was that hot hunk who saved you before! oliver’s so amused and never letting her live it down.

for the line ‘i’m not interested in asking you about a decision you’ve made since you arrived here’: the decision mentioned is mc’s promise not to fall in love & to go home. i think oliver would be one of those routes where he falls for her but wants her to go home anyway, but the difference in his route is that he’s very adamant to make her leave. maybe thinking along the lines of ‘i don’t want you to end up like me’ or something. idk. idk what i’m trying to type at this point, lol.

just some random thought, but i do hope ikerev artist tcg someday draws mc in the game outfits / hairstyles bc she’s actually rly pretty. the description of mc’s outfits / fashion of part 4 of the fic was out of me just staring at the my closet portion of the game. don’t ask - i like the hc of oliver & mc having elegant wardrobes / fashion sense, and since i’m too lazy to check up 19th century london fashion trends...

sep 28 // collar x malice

haunted by something still alive was the result of me thinking about guns. don’t ask me either. maybe it’s also a result of me wanting to write something else that isn’t from my horrendous drafts folder lol.

these were actually nice drabble practices, and the first one i clearly had i mind was shiraishi’s. i honestly think it would be fitting, probably around the start of the route where they haven’t got to know each other so well.

from there on i tried to do the drabbles in the route order i did when i played the game, which was mineo - sasazuka - okazaki - shiraishi - yanagi. but tbh when i was writing it became shiraishi - mineo - yanagi - sasazuka - yanagi again - okazaki, lol. i rewrote yanagi’s and okazaki’s three times.

subtitles have their respective mathematical operations on it - i find it kind of cool and funny that those are their symbols (amnesia had the card suits), but when you do think of it properly, it does relate to their characters.

... never forget that hoshino ichika is canonically good with guns.

sep 28 // ikerev

in absence of glass slippers as stated was a part of one of my first ikerev drafts. still a draft until now, but the portion i posted is one of the ‘finished’ sections of the fic.

i don’t headcanon mc as a respectable lady from a equally respectable house or her being a well-off girl, but i like the concept of her being a self-taught lady of society aka she learned stuff like manners, dancing, and etc. out of curiosity or for more practical reasons like fitting in. 19th century london is still the victorian era, so social class and propriety was still a thing.

her taking off her shoes to practice dancing with ray is a sort of a challenge, actually... his measure of improvement will be based on the times that he steps on her feet / how many blisters her feet would gain by the end of the session, lolol - that’s why she says that stepping on a rock is the least of her problems. pretty hardcore, isn’t she?

thus the title actually - glass slippers (mary janes actually) are pretty delicate, but don’t you think a lady’s foot is much more delicate?

with ray’s fic up, i’ve officially written a piece for all of the black army men! nice.

sep 29 // ikerev

neither heaven or hell is holy shit, an mc-centered fic! hella rad - i was half thinking to classify it as a drabble, but since i decided that drabbles are pieces that i may get back on, i kept it as a full fic instead since i’m happy with how it turned out.

all of my screamings are in the tags, so i don’t have much to add besides that lol. however, the writing here is pretty different, and that’s because i was trying to do a three sentence fic challenge kind of thing. buuuuut it became three paragraphs with three lengthy sentences instead lol.

also, there’s some stuff highlighting mc’s london-er/english-ness. washing powder is the british term for laundry soap. 19th century roofs for royals were usually panels, and wooden beams for commoners. different as chalk and cheese is a british expression. i’m certainly not british but i just like emphasizing the fact that mc is of another culture/world, thus there should be differences in how she perceives things / her mannerisms & actions / her way of speech. i’ve been conscious of that in all of my fics involving her.

actually, i do make it a point to watch her way of speaking. i really like the polite way of speaking of 19th century britain (and also of today), so i try to integrate that despite the fact that i’m not british myself lol. it’s hard to fully convey it, but i try with hoping that it doesn’t seem too off. i should probably look for more references to practice it.

this was a very spontaneous piece with actually minor editing involved, and i’m pretty proud of how it turned out.

#rundown.txt #oh this is certainly longer than i intended it to be #oh well thank you to those who reads these ramblings of mine tho!

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bibbleboo · 3 years

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Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo,

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

#long post/ //#tw animal death ment//#GOD THIS IS SO LONG IM SRY--#idk what to call thsi au forreal yet so ill just tag it as #dabbey baby au #TY FOR ASKING THO HEART HANDS

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my-nameless-bliss · 7 years

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hey! i rlly love all of your writing, and i just was wondering what your outlining process is? bc i have this rlly good fanfic idea but no idea how to outline it lmao

Ah, thank you so much!

Unfortunately, my writing process in general is a bit of a disaster, so I feel like I’m not the best person to give advice! For the most part, everything I’ve ever written has pretty much been outlined in my head, and then I just go for it. The only time I use actual, written outlines are when I do a chapter/story with multiple sections instead of one continuous scene, so I can keep track of which section comes next.

Apart from that, the planning takes place all in my head. Since my writing style is very ‘stream-of-consciousness’ with the present tense and the idea that you’re really reading the POV character’s internal monologue, I prefer to not plan out the events too clearly because it forces me to work out the natural progression from point a to point b. When I plan events too carefully, I find that the way I write the character’s reaction to them feels stiffer and less realistic.

The one thing that I do plan very carefully is the dialogue. Especially since so many of my stories are very talk-heavy with little (or sometimes no) action, my internal timeline for the story usually goes from one particular line or topic of conversation to the next, as opposed to one event to the next. Instead of breaking down my stories into beats, it’s more that I plan out which sections of dialogue are supposed to flow together. And even when I plan out a broad topic or conversation, I usually have several specific lines planned well in advance. Dialogue has always been one of the easiest things for me to write, so when I come up with an idea for a story, a handful of clearly-defined pieces of dialogue usually show up right away, and I plan around those. If I did write out workable outlines for the majority of the things I’ve written, it’d probably be a skeletal list of very specific, out-of-context sentences.

But, like I said, that’s just how it’s ended up working for me. I find it easier to write present-tense stream of consciousness stories without much planning because that’s what ends up giving me results that I’m happiest with. But I totally understand that that method might be horrible for someone who writes best with structure.

So, for an answer that might actually be helpful: I think the best way of outlining is figuring out which aspect of the story you’re most confident with. For me, it’s the dialogue. But it could be the events, the beats, the scenes, the emotions of the characters, the narration, anything - just whichever aspect of the story you find the easiest to write. And then base your outline on that. Because then you’ll be processing the story and going through the writing with your focus on a big picture that you really understand and that you’re really comfortable with. I know that if I tried to outline my stories by events or actions, I’d never be able to write a word, because when I’m actually writing I’m focusing on the emotions and the dialogue the most. Outline your story in a context that makes sense to you. Start off as sloppy as you want (a few words scribbled at random on a piece of paper), build up detail if you’re comfortable with that, or make a super meticulous, specific outline. Whatever you feel you’ll understand when you’re actually writing. The whole point of an outline is to give you confidence when you’re waist-deep in the story, so give yourself whatever you think will help you the most when you’re at that point.

And also, outline your story however you need to so that you’re excited to write every part of it. Even if there’s something you’re really dreading having to actually get into words, find a way to frame it so you can convince yourself that writing it is gonna be awesome. In my experience, you have to be actively excited to write, or the motivation will never come.

I hope this helps, and I hope you have a great time writing your fic! And if you have any more questions, I’m always willing to answer them (to the best of my ability)! 💜😊💜

#also please remember that i'm a 23 year old theatre major / accountant #i am by no means a professional writer #all of my advice is strictly what happens to work for me #i have absolutely ZERO authority on these matters except a slightly-popular fanfic #but i'll always do my best to help!!!!#nykeigh answers #anon #aldnt related

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cometocourtyou · 6 years

Text

quelqu'un m'entend (cardinal fic)

so, remember how like, eight days ago i asked for prompts? and an anon asked for anything with lise delorme? and i was like ‘i’ll just write something cute and short’? yeah. it turned into 6.5k of me kind of torturing my fave crime show character, at least for most of it, so ooops?

also, this is tv show compliant, though i took the liberty of using szelagy from the books. bc i like the guy.

She feels his eyes on her as she leans forward slightly and turns the key in the ignition, the car's engine humming to life. Lise shifts and wonders if she should take of her gloves, but then decides against it as she watches her breath condensate in the icy interior of the car. She reaches out and places a hand on the wheel as her right one goes to put the car into gear so she can pull out of the parking spot and weave back into traffic.

It takes him six whole minutes, before Cardinal speaks.

"Seemed like a nice kid."

Lise swallows and then gives a slight nod. She agrees with him, Margot'd seemed like she was well behaved, for a teenager who was stuck in a little town such as Algonquin Bay. She apparently just started drifting, hanging out with the wrong people... Lise remembers her own journey towards self-discovery all those years ago, remembers countless moments when it could have all gone incredibly wrong.

"You know her?"

"No," Lise replies, her eyes focused on the road she's navigating, looking for suspicious glinting amongst the snow, hinting at hidden ice patches. She doesn't have to look at Cardinal to know he's surprised. He shifts just a tiny bit in his seat, to be better able to look at her. He might as well have whipped around his head to stare at her openly.

He doesn't say anything for a few miles. The silence fills the car, fills the space between Lise and her partner, and she changes her hold on the wheel just a little, to be better able to grip it.

"I know what she feels like," she hears herself say. "Growing up, becoming an adult, it can be, difficult."

Cardinal makes a sound somewhere between a humm and a clearing of his throat. Lise keeps her eyes trained on the road and pulls her foot back a little, taking off some of the little speed the car has. She really, really doesn't trust these backwoods roads.

"Looks like you managed."

Lise tilts her head, a smile tugging on her lips at the backhanded compliment. She gives a shrug, concentrating on the road ahead.

"I had some help," she remarks. Chances a glance at Cardinal before turning her attention back on driving and getting them back to the station.

"Older friends?" he guesses, but Lise shakes her head no.

"Not really," she admits. "Most of them... they weren't trying to figure out what I was dealing with, at the time."

"Huh," Cardinal humms. Looks out the side window for a moment before returning his attention to her. She still hasn't figured out whether she likes it or not, when he is so intently focused on nothing but her. In a way, it makes her nervous. She's no longer investigating him, and there really is no reason to be anxious about anything he might discover, but she can't help herself, her stomach still drops a little when he looks at her for too long. And after it has dropped, there's this strange sensation, of, butterflies. If she's honest, she hates that even more than her nervousness around him. That she has this sort of reaction to a man giving her his attention. Not just any man; John Cardinal has this way of looking at you that makes you think he can see right through all your defenses, and the ones he can't he will crack in time. And he is rather attractive, Lise catches herself thinking a lot more, lately. Attractive in a rugged sort of way.

She gives a slight shake of her head to pull herself from those thoughts and reaches out to turn on the radio, hoping that some mindless pop song will shut him up and steady her wandering thoughts.

"Looking for trouble?"

She jumps. And feels herself blush to the roots of her hair. She's a goddamn Detective, and she not only misses someone walking up behind herself, no, Lise also basicaly jumps right out of her seat when they suddenly speak.

She quickly pulls a file over the paper on her desk and turns slightly to look at Cardinal. He's bent over slightly from his attempt of finding out what has captivated all of her attention. She raises an eyebrow at him pointedly and he straightens and raises his hands in a gesture of surrender as he starts on his way to his own desk. Lise watches him as he sits down and tilts his head a little at her.

"Piece of advice," he tells her and she feels herself tense up. "People like him," Cardinal continues and nods towards where McLeod has his desk, "aren't gonna change. It won't help if you report it."

Lise opens her mouth, and before she can think better of it, she already has told Cardinal it wasn't McLeod who crossed the line.

"I know chauvinistic pigs and how to handle them. He's by far not the worst I've had to deal with," she shakes her head and slowly pulls the file from the form in front of her. Furrows her brows slightly as she wonders, not for the first time, if she is overreacting. Maybe she's seeing stuff that's not there. Maybe she's just too sensitive about these things. And really, she kind of started all this herself. It had been a harmless joke, a simple quip to shut up the guys. She never would have thought someone might take it serious, and start digging into her private life.

"Then who's on your shit list?"

The crass comment makes her look up in surprise. She can count on one hand the number of times that she's heard Cardinal use a curse word.

The look he gives her isn't judging. Just, curious, in a way she hasn't seen before. He's usually all sharp, well-aimed attention. Now it seems like, instead of a homing beacon, she's looking at a light diffuser, and it is startling in it's contrast.

Lise shakes her head and pulls open her drawer. Grabs the form and tosses it inside before loudly kicking her drawer shut again, metal clanking.

"No one," she tells him and pulls over a file to read through it yet again, as if she can somehow make the sinking feeling in her stomach go away if she just throws herself into her work enough.

She doesn't usually ask. Some way, she always finds out, sooner or later, if her partners speak French. Usually it's sooner, and it also usually happens when she makes a comment to herself and the person with her snorts in amusement.

Cardinal, however, has managed to not show his hand yet. She thinks he understands some French, but not enough to really be able to follow even a simple conversation. And then there are times when Lise wonders if perhaps she is underestimating him and he actually understands a lot more than he is letting on.

He always lets her do the French interviews, and always asks for full reports after. Even if he is right there, he waits for her to translate, before he comments in English and asks her to translate. Maybe it's his way of showing respect, or of making sure nothing gets lost in translation, Lise doesn't know.

"I can't do this one," she tells him when Cardinal motions for her to follow him to Interrogation. He pauses, searches her face.

"Any particular reason?" he asks, his voice low. Lise opens her mouth. In that moment, she's itching to tell him. Is so tired, of all of this. But then she thinks of what it will mean. What will probably happen, when people find out. And her courage leaves her. Has her close her mouth again and look away as she shifts.

"I'm sorry," she mutters and pushes past him, in dire need of fresh air.

She knows everyone's eyes are on her when she leaves Dyson's office. So she tries to carry her head high. Tries not to let them see how much that conversation just got to her.

At least she manages not to slam the door closed behind her when she takes a file and map into the conference room. It's not that she strictly needs to work on this. She just needs a bit of space, away from where everyone is free to look at her, take in her every movement.

"Tabernac," Lise curses and kicks a chair under the desk. Puts her hands against her back as she paces the length of the room. Her alibi map is spread out, various random items holding down the corners. She's opened the file and thrown it on top as well. If someone walks in, it'll just look like she's thinking, trying to make sense of the geographical details of this case. Or so she hopes.

"Here."

Lise jumps and whirls around. Watches, as Cardinal leans forward and puts down a cup of coffee for her on the edge of the table. Leans back again, well out of her way. Silent, non-threatening. She isn't sure, but she thinks he's actually slouching, making himself smaller.

"Thank you," she mutters and walks over to pick up the cup. Lifts it to her lips and takes a careful sip of the hot liquid. Manages to stay close to him for a few moments, even, before the urge to turn and run becomes too much. So she shifts and walks back over to where she's tossed her notepad.

"Anything you need help with?" Cardinal asks, his voice low. Lise sits down and gives a slight shake of her head.

"No, not particularly," she tells him. Looks at him for a second and forces what she hopes is a convincing smile. "Thank you. For the coffee."

"Sure," he nods. Turns to leave, his hand on the door handle.

"Lise?"

"Hm?" she looks up from her notes, her interest perked by his usage of his first name.

"It didn't get out through me."

She feels her jaw drop briefly before she can reign her reaction in.

"Excuse me?"

Cardinal keeps his back to her, but he does move to push the door almost completely closed. Keep others from freely listening in on their conversation.

"My interview with Whyland, it was on tape. I had to put what she said down. But I didn't tell anyone else about it."

"You told Dyson, though. Didn't you."

"Had to," Cardinal reminds her, and Lise lets out a soft sigh. Stares at her handwriting before she leans back in her chair to rub her hands over her face.

"I know," she tells him, finally. "I know you didn't have a choice. And I believe you. About not telling anyone else. It doesn't matter, how it got out. It did. And now I am paying the price."

Cardinal shifts. She hears him move, and when she looks at him again, she finds he had turned around. Is regarding her, again, searching for, something.

"Did you know?" he asks her, his voice low. "You don't have to answer," he adds when Lise's jaw tightens. "Forget I asked."

And with that, he turns and leaves the room. Leaves her to her pretend work.

She knows she won't be able to forget his question, though. Won't forget the moment when all the trust she managed to build with him went out of the window and she was thrown back right to square one.

"What kind of woman sleeps with a hooker?"

The instant the words leave McLeod's mouth, Lise can feel the temperature drop in the room. Feels almost every pair of eyes move to stare at her.

There's a phone ringing in the main room. Lise can hear it, once, twice, three times. The air con is working hard to keep the room at a bearable temperature, ten detectives crammed inside it making it work overtime, yet Lise feels like she's just been dumped into a vat of ice water.

Cardinal clears his throat.

"Noise complaints follow up," he continues on, ignoring the remark just made by his colleague. Lise swallows thickly and keeps her head down for the rest of the meeting. Thankfully, she doesn't have anything to share with the investigation team this morning.

"I'll go get an unmarked," Szelagy says as he gets up once the meeting is over. He says it to her, but he doesn't quite manage to meet Lise's gaze.

"Let it go."

"He's being an asshole-"

"Delorme."

The sharpness with which Cardinal says her name makes her snap out of it. She looks up at him, finally registering the iron grip he has on her arm. The way he stands, half in front of her, blocking her way to McLeod.

"Take a walk, Ian," he adds over his shoulder. Lise keeps her eyes on Cardinal, on his face. So she doesn't have to look at McLeod, doesn't have to watch him leave the room and slam the door shut behind him.

She jerks her arm from his grip at the sound and pulls back. Cardinal takes a few steps back and holds up his hands, palm out. Lise reaches up to run her hands through her hair. Pulls the hair tie out and shakes her head before she bunches her hair up again. Her entire body is filled with a restless energy, adrenaline pumping through her veins. She paces, five steps this way, five in the other direction. Then whirls around and grabs the mug on the table before throwing it against the wall.

To his credit, he doesn't yell out. Cardinal just takes a step back, to avoid the spraying shards of ceramic. Holds out a pacifying hand when the door opens and someone sticks their head in.

"It's okay, I got it," he tells whoever went to investigate the noise. Lise keeps her back turned, arms crossed tightly in front of her. Shame begins to burn up inside of her, rivalling with the anger she was so consumed by just moments ago. She hears the door close softly again.

"You got it out of your system?"

Cardinal's voice is uncharacteristically soft. Lise swallows thickly and draws a ragged breath. Presses a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out. To keep herself from screaming. Once she starts, she might not be able to stop.

"How about I take you to the ring?" he offers. Lise turns a little. Risks a glance at him. He's still by the door, but leaning against the wall now. Seems strangely relaxed, for a guy that just basically had a mug thrown at him. She winces at the thought of the damage her fit might have caused. He's not the one she wants to hurt.

"No, thank you," she mutters and gives a sharp shake of her head. Feels his eyes on her as he watches her.

"Might do you some good," he shrugs. "Get some of the pent-up frustration out."

Lise turns around to face him, her arms crossed tightly in front of her again.

"Because the reminder of no one changing in the locker room with me won't add any frustration, at all," she tells him. Watches, as his eyes widen slightly in mute surprise.

Lise shakes her head and looks away. Looks out of the window, at the parking lot. McLeod and Szelagy are talking. She frowns, her brows furrow when she sees Szelagy step closer towards the older man. She'd thought... He'd been so, normal, with her, when they went to the Marina together to interview potential witnesses.

She blinks and looks away, the fight suddenly going out of her. Pulls out a chair to sink into as the tears begin to burn in her eyes again. It's humiliating, and degrading, but she can't stop herself, Lise bursts into tears, the pressure of the previous weeks finally getting the better of her.

She doesn't hear him move. Only feels Cardinal's hand on her shoulder after a couple of moments. Realizes, with a start, that he's sat down next to her, and it makes her cry all the harder.

"What happened to him?"

Lise asks, her brows twitching as she watches McLeod hold an ice pack to his left eye.

"No idea," Szelagy mutters, keeping a tight hold on the ice pack cooling his right hand. Lise blinks, looks between the two men.

"Szelagy-"

"I was looking at my notes, you know, from the Marina?" the younger man begins and pulls out his notepad. "I kept thinking, something wasn't making sense," he continues and Lise watches as he launches into a tale of a different case and something seeming eerily similar, so he went back to check, and-

"That's good work," she nods. Hesitates, then gives him a soft smile. "Thank you."

"Just doing my job," Szelagy shrugs. Looks up at her, his eyes meeting hers for a second. "I like doing it, with you," he says, and then his eyes widen in shock. "I mean, working. Working, with you. Detective Delorme."

"It's alright," Lise shakes her head in amusement at his mortified face. Reaches out to place her hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Merci," she whispers and leaves him in favor of informing Dyson about their new findings, and to start on getting a warrant for their new suspect's house.

She's just about ready to drown her sorrows in a bottle of whiskey when the doorbell rings. Lise sighs and takes another sip of her drink before she walks over to open it. And finds herself facing Cardinal. With a sixpack in his hand.

"Hey," he greets her and holds up the beer. Lise shifts and considers him for a moment.

"If it doesn't bother you that I'm kind of ahead already," she tells him as she steps aside to let him in. He steps inside, past her, and walks over to her couch. Sets down the beer and then motions, towards her glass and the bottle of whiskey.

"Mind if I have one of those, too?"

"Sure," Lise nods and gets him a glass. Sets it onto the table before she flops back down into her couch. Cardinal pours himself a drink and then holds out his glass, and Lise clinks hers against it, ignoring his soft 'cheers' as she downs half the contents of her glass in one go. She's not usually one to get drunk, but tomorrow is her day off, and honestly, it has been a shitty couple of weeks.

They drink in silence, switching to the beer Cardinal brought over in silent agreement.

"I didn't know she was a, professional."

She doesn't know what makes her say it. It might be the second beer. Or maybe it is the two whiskeys she had before that. Or perhaps it is the guilt she still feels, and the shame that keeps bubbling up every time she steps foot into the precinct.

Cardinal lets out a soft hum. Rubs his thumb over the label of his beer.

"I gathered as much," he tells her. "Whyland, what she told me... Seemed like it was more personal than sex."

Lise lets the words linger, lets them fill the space around them. Fill the emptiness of her house, the place she shared with Josh.

"It was," she whispers. Reaches up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I only found out, after. I should have reported it then, but..." she trails off.

"I get it," Cardinal replies. The look she gives him must be less than convinced, because he continues on. "You wanted to protect your privacy. I get that."

Lise swallows then. Inclines her head and takes another sip of her beer.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes to him. "I know I should have told you, before. I'm sorry this is messing with your career-"

"I don't care about that," Cardinal shakes his head. Watches her, intently. Why is it that he seems so much more sober than she feels? Her head's kind of wobbly, and Lise feels like she is saying things she'd rather keep to herself.

"I am worried. About you."

"I'll be fine, John," she shakes her head, and yes, okay, she is drunk alright. "It's just, difficult, right now."

Cardinal inclines his head in silence and finishes off his beer, before he sets his bottle down loudly.

When she wakes up the next morning, she's still on her couch. Someone's pulled a blanket over her. There's a glass of water on the table, and two white pills next to it. Lise sits up with a soft groan and cradles her head, pain exploding behind her eyes. She reaches over and takes the painkillers, draining the glass quickly. There's a note, as well. Scribbled in Cardinal's controlled writing.

Take it easy, partner.

Maybe it's the painkillers, but somehow, Lise feels just a little bit lighter.

She doesn't really think about it. The moment the toddler reaches up, Lise is bending down, picking them up and making shushing sounds as she holds them close.

The paramedic just does a quick check, so make sure that none of the blood is coming from the child. They seem, distraught, Lise thinks, but not like they are in physical pain. Then again, they keep clinging to her. Maybe picking them up hadn't been the brightest idea Lise has ever had, but it had been an instinct, in a way. Part cop training, part basic human instinct. You see a kid in distress reaching for you, you pick them up and get them out of the situation. Right?

"Hey there," Cardinal greets the little child when they are down at Ident. He has her overnight bag. Fresh clothes, because now Lise's are considered evidence.

"Her name is Annabelle," he informs Lise as she holds onto the squirming girl while Arsenault is trying to take pictures. "She's thirteen months old."

Lise swallows and nods. Gently strokes the girl's back and resist the urge to lean in and kiss her little cheek. Thirteen months old, and probably witnessed the murder of her parents. Of to a great start.

"I can watch her," Cardinal offers. "So you can," he gestures. Lise hesitates, then slowly shakes her head.

"I'll wait, until we're done here," she tells him. Doesn't know how to explain that she doesn't want to leave the girl with strangers. Lise is a stranger, too, but... The toddlers seems to like her well enough. She holds onto her hand and watches her intently. Arsenault tried to position her earlier, and she'd started crying. So they've resorted to him telling Lise what position he needs the kid to be in and then she coaxes the girl into it slowly, gently.

Cardinal just hums his ascent. Lise watches him briefly, watches his face go soft, and wonders, briefly, if he remembers his own daughter at that age.

If Josh and her had gone through with it, their child would be around this age, too. A little older, perhaps. Lise frowns, then decides that this isn't any sort of math she is excited to puzzle out. Some things are better left unexplored.

"Delorme," she sighs into the receiver of the phone when she picks it up for the sixth time that hour. She really, really hates getting stuck on InfoLine duty.

"Of course, DS," she mutters and hangs up. She stands, her stomach deciding to stay down as her body moves up. She's pretty sure her hands are shaking. Lise gives a slight shake of her head at Cardinal's questioning look. No, she doesn't know what this is about.

Being called into Dyson's office has never been a good thing, in anyone's book. It's one of those things that are pretty universal: your boss calls you into their office, you can be pretty sure you messed up somewhere. Lise knows the big screw-up that is still hanging over her, still following her around. But she isn't aware of any other mistake she might have made, since then. She's tried to keep everything in order, following the rules to a T.

"You look..." Cardinal mutters when he catches her, seemingly by accident, when she leaves the office half and hour later. He's stepped from the photocopy room. Lise would buy it, if she didn't know that he usually asks someone else to make his copies, ever since they installed the new machine. Cardinal keeps saying that the thing has it out for him, and usually, Lise ends up rolling her eyes and doing his copies for him.

"Huh?" she mutters as she shakes her head to clear her thoughts. He gives her a silent, searching look, and she swallows thickly.

"It's nothing," she tells him with an attempt at a reassuring smile. Judging from the way his brows twitch, she's doing a less than convincing job. Lise shifts, inclines her head.

"I handed in a written testimony, for Rebecca Whyland's upcoming trial," she explains. "Someone leaked it. She wanted to warn me, in case it ends up in the paper."

Cardinal recoils slightly and shifts. Lowers the file in his hands.

"Let me grab my coat," he says and then leaves her standing there, completely dumbfounded.

She'd thought that this nightmare was going to be over, finally. But it seems like every time she's close to escaping it, it ends up pulling her right back under.

"John."

"Huh?"

Lise leans back and forces her eyes open. Looks up, at his face. The unfamiliar expression on it, a mixture of worry, concern and excitement.

"I'm sorry," she mutters and takes a step back. The wind hits the side of her face, and it makes her flinch. It's biting. She should have brought a hat.

He doesn't say anything. Just watches her face, and Lise sees his fall, the excitement draining from it. Getting replaced by regret, dread.

"I'm sorry," she repeats with a slight shake of her head.

"No," Cardinal shakes his head. "It's, my fault," he insists. Lise frowns, tries to remember. He did stroke her cheek, that is true. But honestly, she's not sure, which one of them leaned in first. She knows she definitely didn't do anything to stop him. Kissed back, even.

"I should," she starts and motions towards the street. Her car is parked down there, somewhere. When she turns around, she really hopes she'll remember the direction it's in. Because that would just be the icing on the whole cake of Pathetic™ that she's been serving lately.

"Of course," Cardinal nods. Keeps his hands firmly at his sides. She turns and takes the steps down from the precinct.

Left, she parked to the left, she thinks, and turns. And forces herself not to turn around and look at him again.

"Look, it's not..." she starts and pauses.

Cardinal blinks at her. Waits, for her to continue. It's been so awkward, between them. Since the kiss.

They haven't really talked about it. Outside of him apologizing again. And saying he hadn't meant to overstep her boundaries, and was hoping they could still work together. Lise was hoping the same thing, but the more time passes, the more painfully obvious it becomes that this is not working.

"It's not because you're a guy," she finally says. Cardinal lets out a soft cough. Looks away, and Lise thinks, Bingo.

"I was married, you know," she reminds him, indignation rising inside of her. "Contrary what other people may think, I actually did love my husband."

"Woah, easy," Cardinal mutters and holds up his hands. "I never thought you didn't," he tells her, after a beat. Then, "I wasn't thinking that, at all."

Lise lets out a breath. Swallows and her shoulders slump. She takes a few steps. Paces, in his kitchen.

"It just..." she starts and rests her hands on her hips as she turns to him again. "This is the last thing I need, right now."

Is she imagining things, or did he actually flinch?

Lise blinks. John looks away, his jaw tight, and she realizes with a start that she hit a nerve.

"Tabernac," she mutters and rubs a hand over her face, the double meaning in her words dawning on her. "I didn't mean it like that," she tells him, one hand still on her hip, the other arm dangling at her side, utterly useless.

"Then what did you mean?" he asks, his voice soft. He looks at her again, eyes searching. It makes her swallow, hard.

"That people have finally stopped gossiping, about me. If they find out about, this," she says and gestures between them, "it'll start up again. And that is honestly not something I want to deal with, again. Especially not so soon."

He looks like he is going to say something, then. Lise waits, coiled tightly, ready for a fight. But then Cardinal just takes a deep breath, and remains quiet.

And somehow, that is worse than any insult he might have hurled at her.

Her shoulder is throbbing.

And her mouth feels like it's been filled with cotton.

Lise lets out a soft cough. It makes her gasp in pain, cutting her attempt at opening her eyes short as she squeezes them shut again.

She knows he's there before he even says anything. She can smell his aftershave, the familiar scent calming her nerves at least somewhat.

"Easy, partner," Cardinal mutters and she feels his hand on her wrist for a moment. Struggles, again, to open her eyes, and finally manages.

He looks like death warmed over.

Lise tries to speak, but her throat protests in pain, and she grimaces. Tries, to ask for water. The sound that does make it out sounds nothing like the word, though. She's surprised when he gets it and holds a cup with a straw for her.

It's only after she drained it for the second time that she realizes that she tried to speak French.

"Wha' happ'n?" she asks, after sinking back into the pillow of her bed. She's aware now, of only wearing a hospital gown. Of cables running inside it. The heart monitor's not beeping, at least. She's always hated how annoying those things are. Maybe John knows and asked them to turn it down. Has she mentioned that to him?

"You got shot," he tells her, and Lise does attempt to roll her eyes then. Bad idea, she finds out not a second later, as pain explodes behind her eyelids. "One to the shoulder, through and through. Superficial graze on your right side, too."

She remembers that. Remembers the searing pain that made her scream out. Probably what saved her, because she's pretty sure that she moved, too, and that bullet to her shoulder, it probably would have ended up somewhere much more dangerous, or deadly, if she hadn't.

"You?" she asks. Watches, as he swallows thickly. Then lifts his hand. Bright blue plastic cast shining. It makes her snicker, and Lise lets out a groan when the movement makes her wounds throb again.

"Took a hammer to my hand," he says, darkly. Her eyes widen and she stares at him.

"John-"

"I'm fine," he shakes his head. Watches her, intently, his eyes on hers for a long moment. It's hard to breathe, with the way he looks at her. Then he blinks, and the intense expression is suddenly gone. Her chest feels lighter, and Lise takes a deep breath. The monitor does let out a warning at that, but quickly resumes it quiet working.

"Got your own joy button," John mutters and grabs it. Holds it out to her with a nod towards the pump. "Press once for blissful relief."

"Thanks," she mutters and takes it, though she resists the urge to hammer down on the thing. She still feels groggy, if she gets anything else in her system, she'll conk out again.

"Rest up," he tells her and stands. When he's left her room, she lets out a shuddering breath, her eyes fluttering closed. Her arm is still warm, where he touched it in goodbye, the skin tingling softly.

"Maybe I should get you a hooker."

He lets out a snort of surprise and nearly spits out his coffee.

"What?"

Lise watches him, managing for one moment to keep the deadpan expression on her face. And then she dissolves into giggles. Presses her hand over her mouth and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes at John's mortified expression. "I was just joking."

He gives her a dark look at that. Looks down at his shirt and tie, to make sure he hasn't spilled anything on himself, thanks to her attempt at humor.

But really, he'd been so gloomy that she'd just had to do it. Plus, she'd have bet money he wasn't even listening to her. It had been as good a quip as any, to make sure he was still with her, mentally.

"For the record," he says, after a moment, "please don't hire me a hooker."

"Noted," she nods. Tries to smile at him, but he doesn't look at her. Lise tilts her head and watches him glare at his donut. Another one of her attempts at joking. She'd shown up on his doorstep, with bad coffee and donuts. Because they're cops. Even if it is their day off.

He'd chucked the coffee and made them a decent one, but insisted on keeping the donuts. She could have sworn that he did smile, just a tiny little bit, when he'd said it was worth watching her having to eat one.

She reaches out and places her hand on his, for a moment, before standing and going to grab the coffee pot to refill her mug.

"Want some?" she asks and he nods, mutely. She grabs the milk without a second thought and tops his mug up, then slides back into her seat at his table. He looks at her, then, a strange expression in his eyes. Something in them makes her feel, warm, in the pit of her stomach. No, not that low. That's a different sort of warmth. This, this feels more like, Josh taking her hand and entwining their fingers. Rebecca Whyland resting her head in Lise's lap and a sigh escaping her.

She blinks and looks away. Grabs her coffee and takes a sip, ignoring the way it burns her mouth.

"So," she says when she's sat the mug back down. "If you don't want a hooker, what can I get you, for your birthday?"

He doesn't answer. Blinks, slowly, and takes a sip of his own coffee. Then takes his donut and takes a bite.

Okay. Clearly not in the mood for this topic, then.

"Fine," Lise sighs. "But don't complain when I get you one of those ties with the funny prints."

"No complaining," John nods. "Got it."

It makes her decide to look up those ties once she gets home.

He actually wears it.

Nine days after his birthday, Cardinal shows up at work. His tie the bright blue one she got him as a present. With moose all over it.

"Cardinal," Dyson adresses him, then does a double take when she catches sight of his outfit. "Please tell me this is a joke."

"What is, DS?" he asks, sounding so innocent it almost makes Lise burst out with laughter.

"You have a press conference in fifteen minutes, and you decided to wear," the DS starts and gestures at his chest, "that?"

Cardinal straightens a little then.

"It's my fault," Lise steps in. "I made him put it on."

Dyson looks between the two of them, back and forth. Her eyes linger on Lise for a moment and Lise inclines her head a little. Wonders, for probably the hundredth time, how long there will still be the lingering remainder of disappointment in Dyson's gaze whenever she looks at her.

"I hope you have a spare," she finally says and walks away.

Lise closes her eyes and takes a slow breath.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I didn't think..." she trails off with a shrug when she faces him. And finds, to her surprise, Cardinal's lips quirking into a boyish grin.

"Damn, I've wanted to do that for months," he says. Bends down and opens his drawer, to produce a dark navy tie. "Thanks for that," he tells her and reaches out to squeeze Lise's arm, before he leaves her standing there. Goes, in the direction of the bathroom, to change his tie in front of a mirror.

And leaves her staring after him, her body tingling all over.

"John."

This time, she sighs his name into his mouth. Reaches up to cradle his face as she kisses him again.

Feels him sigh, and then his hands are brushing over her hips carefully, as if he's afraid she will bolt. Lise feels herself grin and steps closer. Feels his arms wrap around her waist, hands splaying against her back as he pulls her impossibly close.

She almost loses her balance, then. He steadies her, shuffling a little on his feet. It breaks their kiss, and when she looks at him, she sees him smile.

"I like that," he tells her. At her confused expression, he swallows. She feels a hand leave her back, before his strokes her cheek again, so carefully.

"The way you say my name."

"Are you making fun of my accent?" she asks and narrows her eyes at him. He lets out a bark of laughter at that, and oh yes, she's got it bad, judging from the millions of butterflies that take flight in her belly at that sound.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he tells her. Sobers, as he looks at her again. His hand is warm, still resting against her cheek, and Lise turns her face into the touch. Closes her eyes and takes a deep breath as she relaxes.

"You okay?" he asks her, his voice barely audible in the silence of her apartment.

"Yes," she nods and opens her eyes again. Smiles, at him, and leans up on her tiptoes to brush her lips over his again in a soft caress.

"What about..." he pushes, trailing off. "People talking."

"I'm not going to like it," she admits. "And you might have to pull me back again. Before I do some, damage," she allows, referring to that time she nearly went and hit McLeod for his crass comment regarding her sex life.

John's eyebrows lift, then, and she gives a slight shake of her head. Rubs her thumbs over his cheeks gently.

"But I'm tired," she tells him. "Of living my life to the satisfaction of others. I like you. I like you very much, John."

"I like you, too," he replies. His lips quirk into this boyish grin and he lets out a chuckle. "That makes us sound like some lovesick teenagers on their first date."

She laughs, then. Leans forward to hide her face in his broad chest as her shoulders shake. He holds her close and she feels him rest his chin on her head, briefly, the stubble of his beard catching on her hair when he pulls back. It makes her wonder what she looks like, now, and causes her to make a mental note to fix her hair, later.

But right now, she'd much rather do something else. Namely, kiss him. Again. And again. And again.

Her hair can wait.

fin

#i will put this on ao3 in a day or so #but for the meantime here it is #i'm sorry it took so long anon #it kind of got a life of its own and yeah #ian mcleod is an asshole what else is new #and lise delorme is a trainwreck bi but we also knew that #szelagy is a well-meaning idiot #and cardinal is silent until he's not #i love their dynamic so much #i still haven't read the sixth book i'm scared #(me: tortures lise in her writing)#(also me: can't stand the thought of her original writer doing the same)#LISE DELORME IS A PRECIOUS SHITSHOW SHE HAS TO BE PROTECTED #(i mean what?)#writing

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