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gracieheartspedro · 8 months

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Somewhere With You

Part 4 of How Long

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

FIND Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 HERE!!

description: sleeping with your exes brother is one thing, but envisioning a whole life with him? that's a dangerous game. but you did it. now you're here, and tommy is fucking pissed.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! fear of being caught by sarah?, unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING, dirty talk, overstimulation, titty fucking (yw caly), light violence, tommy is literally evil.

author's note: jesus christ i'm so glad I am finally here with this. I feel like finishing this is my greatest success in life lmao. I will probably continue this series but this is the last part for a while. I appreciate everyone's love on it and I can't wait to get more stuff out to y'all!

“Are we going to have a celebration when we get home?”

Joel laughs, “Yeah, we can. What did you wanna do?”

You just listen to Sarah list off all the possible ways to celebrate winning the tournament. The movies, going to the mall for new jeans, going to the local ice cream parlor every night of the week. Joel shakes his head at that one as he turns the truck onto the highway. You have your knees up to your chest, the zip up Joel let you borrow hanging off your shoulders. You had complained about how cold you were all weekend, so Joel shut you up by tossing you his zip up. You haven’t taken it off since.

The sun was setting over the horizon, drawing the Sunday to a close. You had to work in the morning and you were dreading concluding the weekend you spent with Joel and Sarah.

Everything with them seems natural. It felt like family.

You did not want to face tomorrow, especially when there was no set plans as to when you would be hanging out with them again.

Luckily, Sarah has not mentioned much of anything about what she saw early Saturday morning, so there was no awkward tension. The only time it came up was when you all were tired from Saturday’s events and you arrived back to the hotel room.

“You two sleeping together tonight, too?” She asked, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. She wasn’t even trying to be rude or demeaning, she just wanted to know if she could fall asleep in one of the beds without being stirred.

“Yeah, you can have that bed hun.” Joel answered.

Sitting on those horribly uncomfortable bleachers and cheering Sarah on had taken a lot out of you, so you were ready to throw yourself into the plush mattress, too.

You watched Sarah throw herself onto of the comforter, sinking into the pillows face first. It makes you giggle while you grab your pajamas to change.

Joel nudges you while you dig through your duffle, “No funny business tonight, ma’am.”

You shake your head, his comment making your stomach turn upside down with nerves. You smack his chest with the back of your hand, “No duh, asshole.”

Sarah puts her headphones on, drowning out Joel’s humming to an old country song. You just stare ahead, watching him speed pass car after car. His truck revs every time he does it which makes you clench your knees a bit tighter.

“In a rush, dear?”

The nickname makes his heart race.

He taps his fingers, trying to act like that nickname doesn’t drive him insane. “Want to make sure to get you home so you can be rested up for work in the morning.”

“That’s mighty sweet of you, but take your time. I’m in no rush.”

He eases off the gas a bit, taking your advice.

“You talk to your Mama lately? She still likin’ Maine?”

It wasn’t a question you were expecting coming from Joel. You had told him about your mom around the time that she moved away, however long ago that was. You truly didn’t expect him to even remember.

“We talk every week, she likes it there. Wants me to come experience a winter there, so I may go up for Christmas,” You explain, remembering back to conversation you two just had last week. She wanted you to feel what fluffy snow felt like and maybe go skiing with her.

It makes Joel’s heart sink a bit. Not because you would be visiting your mother, but instead you would not be here to spend Christmas with him and Sarah. He had already planned on making a spot for you at the dining table.

“That’d be nice,” He licks his lips, contemplating if he should say what he really wants to say, “‘M bettin’ she misses seein’ your beautiful face everyday.”

You smile, your cheeks burning hot at Joel calling you beautiful. You knew you had to throw him off and give him a sarcastic response to keep him on his toes.

“Gonna freeze my ass off there. May have to borrow some of your flannels.”

He chuckles, tilting his head towards you, “You already havta’ have about four of my t-shirts, now that hoodie. You wanna raid me some more?”

“If I’m remembering correctly, you said I just had to “get with you” to get clothes,” You’re whispering, leaning into him. You don’t want Sarah to hear the words you’re speaking to her father, “How many times do we need to go at it before I get one of those denim jackets you own?”

He peers over at you. You smirk, quirking one eyebrow up.

“You with me to get my clothes or somethin’?”

“That and other things,” You tease, pulling away, leaning your back against the seat again.

Joel peers into the rear view mirror. Sarah is asleep, her headphones blasting her favorite pop album. He tilts his head towards you, his eyes not leaving the road, “You’ll havta remind me of those other things when we get home.”

He could get used to always having you in his passenger seat.

Sarah was dead asleep in the backseat, so you both decided to get all the stuff from the back inside before nudging her awake. You quietly shut the door, grabbing Joel’s one bag from the driveway and slinging it over your shoulder.

You follow close behind him as he unlocks the front door and places Sarah’s stuff on the staircase.

The idea of having to leave made you want to scream. You didn’t feel like driving home and laying lonely in your own bed. You didn’t want to resume your boring life at work. You just wanted him.

This weekend made you realize that you really couldn’t live without him. You’re not only comfortable around him, but he’s exciting. He cracks jokes and compliments you when you don’t expect it. Those couple of months without him were still months he was plaguing your mind, even though he wasn’t physically around you.

You snap out of your thoughts quickly. You start watching Joel’s muscles restrict over his gray t-shirt and it’s enough to send you to your knees. You didn’t even realize how crazy he was driving you. His messy curls that were trapped under a hat most of the weekend are finally loose and curling up his neck. And the way his jeans hugged his ass while he walked away from you? You didn’t know how long to could refrain from telling him you needed him, right this second.

“I may call out tomorrow. Too tired to sit on my computer all day and run reports,” You say while he wonders back to you from his bedroom down the hall. You’re hoping it leads to an offer.

He nods, tossing his keys on the entry table next to you,“Yeah, I am off tomorrow. Have to get this house in order and make sure Sarah actually wakes up for school in the morning.”

No offer. Maybe you could propose it?

“Maybe I could just spend the night.”

The air is thick instantly with tension. You can hear the hitch in his throat. Once you say it, you realize how desperate you must sound. But you want to be able to lay next to him again. You want and need him.

“If that’s what you wanna do, sweetheart. I don’t mind none. Love havin’ you here.”

He grabs your waist lazily, pulling you into his chest. The connection sends chills down your arms.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to you to think I’m being needy.”

He doesn’t even hesitate, he just bows his head to capture your lips with his, giving you a slow sensual kiss. You move your hands up to his neck, pulling him down further into you, eager to be close to him.

When he realizes that’s where it’s going, he pulls up for air.

“Lemme go get the last couple bags and get Sarah inside.”

As he says that, the door flings open behind you. A sleepy Sarah blinks at both of you, shaking her head instantly when she sees her Dad’s arms wrapped around you. You push back, flinging yourself backwards and away from Joel.

“Can you lovebirds do that somewhere else,” She groans, while rubbing her eyes, “Don’t need another sibling created right in front of m-”

“Sarah Jane!”

You smile when Joel drops onto his mattress with a huff.

“So…” You drift off, crawling onto Joel’s lap, “You come here often?”

He chuckles, his hands beginning to trail your waist.

“Come here quite often, actually,” He jokes, his hands resting right under your shirt and on your hips. “How about you?”

You hum, “Not really. Maybe a couple times. Would love to come around, more though.”

“That so?”

You lean down, using your fingers to pull back his brown locks and pivot his head upward. You kiss him gingerly, smiling at his small groan.

You pull away, “I’d love to come to your bed every night, Joel Miller.”

The guttural moan he makes sends a rush to your core. He grabs the nape of your neck and brings you back down to his lips. He takes control of your movements, switching positions by gently laying you back. He leans over your body, his lips carrying the weight of his emotion. You’re scrambling though, tugging at his shirt, trying to rid it off his body. He pulls away to throw it off his body, motioning you to do the same. Soon, you two are completely naked.

“I never get sick of this view,” He rasps, his eyes raking your body.

You smirk, “Back atcha, babe.”

He positions himself on top of you, his lips lingering on your neck and collarbones.

Joel’s kisses are always intentional. It’s like he knows every pressure point on your body. His lips are always wet and supple, dragging across your soft skin.

When his mouth reaches the skin around your breast, you start to arch up for more contact. He grabs your stomach, pushing it softly down onto the bed.

“Patience, baby,” He mumbles, kissing the same area on the other breast. You jerk up again, absentmindedly.

“Can’t help it,” You whine, trying not to sound so desperate.

He clicks his tongue, “You can and you will.”

His lips wrap around your nipple and you just watch with hooded lids. His eyes are closed, so focus on teasing every inch of your body. You can feel the slick pool between your legs at the sight.

“Joel, please.”

He releases the pink nub, “What, baby? Use those words.”

“I want you all over, Joel.”

“Yeah? Where? Here?”

He grabs your breast roughly, making you mewl.

You finally gesture down. Your hand slides between your legs, dragging up and down your own slit. You gather as much slick as you can, bringing it up to Joel’s surprised expression.

“I see…” He brings your fingers up to his lips. You gape at his next actions, amazed that he’s so filthy. He takes your two fingers and licks them like a popsicle. You audible sigh as he sucks on your fingers like a man starved.

“You goin’ to be extra good for me?” He asks when your digits escape his mouth.

“Always am.”

Your voice is shaky when you say it. It makes Joel smirk. He loves when you sound ruined.

“Love hearing those words come out of your pretty little mouth.”

He crawls down your body, peppering kisses from your stomach down to your thighs. You watch him closely as he props your thighs over his shoulders. He does not waste time, diving straight into your divine center. You try to refrain from screaming his name, knowing Sarah may not be asleep yet. You clap your hand over your mouth while he licks your sensitive clit. He lays his tongue flat, pressing into you as he shakes his head back and forth. When he does that, you yelp into your palm.

“Mmm, baby girl wants to be loud so bad,” He chuckles darkly, using his fingers to spread your lips, “You wanna be loud for me huh?”

“Yes, please, God,” You pant, “Need you in me, Joel.”

“Yeah? Lets stretch you out a bit,” He doesn’t even give any warning when he sinks his fingers inside your pussy. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready, baby girl. Want you to cum before I stick this cock in ya.”

You swallow, letting him take the lead like usual. You liked it this way, when he ravishes you with his abilities and you get to cum several times. You never had sex like this in your life, especially consistently.

His fingers curl inside you, pumping in and out. You can hear how wet you are, the wetness sequelching against Joel’s fingers. Your pussy is graced with his tongue again while he fucks you with his digits. It’s like it’s pulled out of you. The orgasm sends white hot flashes to your vision. You know you’re saying something, but it’s no word in the English language.

When you come back down from euphoria, Joel’s ontop of you again. He’s kissing your cheeks, mumbling something about how beautiful you are when you cum.

“Joel, please,” Your hands grab onto his biceps, “Want you inside me.”

His cock drags along your navel, as he situates himself between your legs.

“Yeah? Always so eager,” He grabs his cock with his free hand, “Wanna try something a little different?”

Your stomach drops, “Like what?”

He toys with your nipple with his pointer and thumb, “Always wanted to fuck these.”

You smirk at the thought, your stomach finally at ease.

“You want to fuck my titties, Joel?”

“If you’ll let me,” He squeezes your boob gently, “Think these things are perfect. Want my cock right between them.”

You nod, “Fuck ��em then, baby.”

He pulls you up, practically shoving you on the ground beside his bed. He wasn’t being aggressive, just guiding you to follow his lead. You sit on your knees, watching up at him as he pumps his cock over you. You use both hands to push your tits together. He grins as he touches the head of his cock to your hard nipples.

“So good for me,” He groans, slipping his cock between your cleavage, “Obeyin’ me and doin’ everythin’ I want. My fuckin’ dream girl.”

He starts to fuck your squeezed together tits as you stare up at him with a completely spent expression. You dribble some spit down between the break in your breast to lube up the area. Your pupils are blown and you feel the wetness of you slit soaking the skin of your legs. You can tell by the look on Joel’s face that he could cum at the sight of you.

But he stops and instead, grabs your bicep and tosses you back on the bed. You watch him crawl up between your legs, his face untamed and filled with anticipation.

“Need to cum in that pussy,” He pumps it a couple times before slipping in between your pussy lips, “Do you need me to put on a condom or anything? I don’t have to fuck you raw every time.”

You bite your lip, “I like feeling every part of you, Joel. I promise.”

“Mmm,” He hums, sinking his cock head inside you, “Love to hear that, baby.”

You circle your hips, practically fiening for him to sink all the way into you. He takes the hint, plunging into you with one snap. Once he’s finally sheathed in you, you groan out which only instigates him. He draws out and back in, his pace painstakingly slow. You grip onto his forearms, digging your nails into them. Maybe he will take the hint that you need it faster.

But, no.

“Words, darlin’. Tell me what you need.”

You choke out the words, “Faster. Harder.”

He kisses your lips, shushing you as his tempo picks up. He wants to feel the vibrations of your moans. He knows if you’re too loud there may be listening ears, so kissing you will hush the sounds of pleasure. He sits up and repositions, grabbing the back of both of your legs, practically folding you in half. You smirk in delight, watching his furrowed expression focus on your body’s reactions.

“This pussy is mine,” He huffs, watching himself plow into you, “All fuckin’ mine. Ya know that?”

“Yes,” You manage to peep out, “It’s yours, Joel.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” He spreads your legs, opening you up nice and wide. His thumb finds your responsive clit, circling it with the momentum of his hips, “Cum for me, baby. Soak this fuckin’ cock.”

Your body reacts in the way he finds so satisfying. Your hips lift up as the climax takes over, your whole body shaking at the ecstasy he brings you. He doesn’t let up, chasing his own bliss. You are so overstimulated, you are just gasping for air. He starts to falter, his pace slowing as he coats your insides with his cum.

You start to chuckle when his body practically collapses onto you. His sweaty curls stick to your perspiring cheek. You find yourself kissing his temple, practically thanking him for fucking you so good every time.

He stands up, his half-hard dick slipping out of you pain-stakingly slow. You whimper at the feeling, still a mess from your orgasm.

“God, you are perfect,” He mumbles, his hand slipping down your bare thigh, “Could fuck you every day for the rest of my life.”

You are still awestruck by the interaction, you don’t even know you’re saying it, “Why don’t you?”

He smiles while he helps you sit up, “I will. Now let’s get you all showered and ready for bed, huh?”

“Yes, please.”

Luckily for you, your body naturally wakes up at 5:30AM. You creep out of the bedroom, making sure not to stir Joel awake. You find the house phone and call your boss, letting her know you were “sick” and needed to use a sick day. She just mumbled a “whatever” and you hung up, heading back to the warmth of Joel’s bed.

Joel wakes up as soon as you crawl back into bed, but he knew he had to get up and make sure Sarah got ready and off to school, anway. He cuddles you for a bit, watching you nod back off to sleep. He let you sleep in while he cleaned up the house a bit. He tries his best not to much too much noise, not wanting to rattle you awake.

You did wake back up when you heard the vacuum. You pull yourself together, putting your hair up into a bun as you stumble out of the bedroom. Joel stands in the living room, not even aware you’re behind him. He jumps when he notices you in the threshold, turning off the vacuum.

“Mornin’ sleepin’ beauty,” He laughs as he wraps up the vacuum cord.

“Mornin’ handsome.”

You watch him roll the machine back into the hall closet before taking note to how nice and clean the house looked.

“Looks good in here,” You mumble, noting how every surface looks dusted, “It’s missing one thing. You have a vase?”

He silently nods, looking at you confused.

“Go fill it with water, I’ll be back.”

You walk towards the front door, swinging it open as you begin tip toeing to Joel’s side garden. He had started it with Sarah years ago, and for the most part, it was completely overgrown. Some flowers still bloom in the Texas sun, so you pick the prettiest from the dirt. Once you have a bundle, you practically jog inside to show Joel your bouquet.

“Hmm,” He smirks, “Didn’t think we needed flowers.”

“Well, you do.”

He shows you the vase on the coffee table, letting you take on the responsibility to make it pretty. He watches you carefully, your tired eyes trained on the task.

You were his dream girl, truly.

Once you’re satisfied with your arrangement, you make a grand gesture.

“Beautiful, baby,” He beams, wrapping his arms around your waist. He drops down onto the couch, pulling you into his lap.

“Who me or the flowers?” You joke.

“Both.”

You give him a lazy kiss, smirking into it.

This part of life with Joel is so domestic and perfect. You two could create this little world and live in it forever. He appreciated your silly antics, knowing how neglected this side of you must have been with Tommy. He didn’t care about the small gestures like Joel did.

It was so reassuring being with Joel. He praised you like you had never been before.

As you pull away from his lips, you hear a door slam outside. Before you could even react, the front door swings open into the house. You sit on Joel’s lap, turned away from the front door, completely dumbfounded.

“What is going on here?”

His voice scares you. You don’t even want to turn around in Joel’s lap to face him. Joel slowly helps you out of his lap, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s.

When you finally turn to face Tommy, his eyes are wild and bright red. He looks like he hasn’t showered in days, his longer hair greasy and standing in all sorts of directions. It’s not his appearance that scares you, it’s the energy he’s brought into Joel’s living room. It’s the same scary tension you experienced when he lashed out on you before.

Joel finally speaks up, clearing his throat. “What do you mean?”

But Tommy isn’t talking to Joel. He’s looking at you.

“Are you fuckin’ my brother?”

He’s pointing at you, his finger waving at you like an adult who’s scolding a child. You open your mouth, but you can’t say anything. Your throat is dry, the shock and terror taking ahold of your vocal chords.

“Tommy, we aren’t doing this.”

Joel puts himself in between Tommy and you, ensuring he doesn’t creep closer to you. You want to believe Tommy would never get physical with you, but the way he looks now, you’re not one hundred percent positive.

“That’s not what I fuckin’ asking, Joel. Are you two sleepin’ together?”

His voice is booming, bouncing off every corner of the room. It makes you shrink three sizes.

Joel places his head up, warning him silently not to get any closer, “Tommy-”

“Answer the fuckin’ question!”

You want to curl into a ball. You knew this would fucking happen. You knew he’d go insane.

You look at Joel finally. You realize your eyes were trained on Tommy in terror, unsure on how to console him. Joel licks his lips, rolling his eyes a bit. You just nod, trying to answer Tommy’s question without saying anything. You didn’t want him to realize how shaky your voice was.

Once he gets confirmation, all hell breaks loose. He’s pushing on Joel with his chest, screaming expletives at him. You stand in the corner of the living room, your body practically wedged between a lamp and the couch. You want to become one of the dustbunnies on the floor boards, not wanting to be apart of this situation.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole! You fucked my girl-“

Before he can even finish the statement, Joel becomes a brick wall. He’s staring down at Tommy now, all the while snot is running down at his little brother’s face. He looked pathetic. As he nudges Joel’s chest, he hardly moves a milimeter. Joel doesn’t even hesitate when he says the next words.

“Not your girl.”

You truly cannot believe the words coming out of Joel’s mouth. You knew what he was insinuating and it brought chills up your back. Tommy’s movements completely halt and he stands there in a stunned silence. Joel’s jaw is slack, his eyes trained down at Tommy. It’s a stand-off.

Tommy crooks his head to the side, like he’s stretching it. “You want to pull that shit now, Joel? I knew you wanted my sloppy seconds the moment you told me she was at your house that night.”

Being referred as “sloppy seconds” makes your blood boil. It’s so dehumanizing.

“Stop talking about her like that,” Joel warns, his voice a whole octave lower.

“No,” Tommy growls, his gaze finally falling on you again, “You’re a whore. Just like your stupid sister.”

You swallow hard. It’s finally your moment to shine. The burst of adrenaline chorusing through your veins finally propels you forward, pushing Joel out of your way.

“You’re the town whore, Tommy Miller. You fucked your way around Austin and then came home to me every night,” You are shaking. Luckily, your voice isn’t wavering, “You lie. You cheat. You are a decietiful little shit. And I’m so glad you are because if you hadn’t slept with my sister and told me, I would have never realized how terrible you were to me all these years. I wasted so much time on babying you.”

The vein in his forehead is bulging and it makes you smile a bit.

“If I could go back in time, I would’ve saved my fucking tears and ran the other direction.”

He has the audacity to giggle, “Instead you ran right into Joel’s arms.”

You don’t hesitate, “You never gave a damn about me, he actually did. I should’ve taken the hint the moment he brought me flowers for my graduation, and you showed up with a flask.”

“You graduated college! Big fuckin’ deal! Get over yourself!”

Now you’re laughing.

“Bite me, Tommy,” You reach out and grab his t-shirt, pulling him into you. It makes Joel super nervous how close he is to you. He knows Tommy’s temper and how easily he will snap. He doesn’t know the next words about to come out of your mouth.

“You cheated on me, you fucking loser. I told you then we were done that night, did I not? What I did after that point is not your business. I’m not yours anymore. And your brother, he treats me real good. Way better than you ever did. He can actually last, unlike you,” You smack your lips together, “He can fuck me better than you, that’s for sure.”

Joel’s eyes widen at the words. Tommy looks completely dazed, but as soon as the last line leaves your mouth, he pushes you backward, right into Joel. You squeak at the contact, your brain registering that he actually put his hands on you. Joel quickly grabs you from tripping over him, and places you behind him quickly. Tommy reaches out for you, but Joel stops him meer inches from your face.

“Fuck you!”

Tommy tries to throw his hand at Joel’s head next but it’s quickly stopped by Joel’s forearm. Instead of Tommy continuing the fight with you two, he takes it out on the new flowers and vase you just put out on Joel’s coffee table. He uses all his force, grabbing the vase and launching it towards the wall. The glasses shatters, water splashes on the wall, and pieces of flowers litter the floor.

The action sends Joel pushing Tommy backward and against the wall. You want to yell out for them to stop, but all that comes out his Joel’s name.

When he pins Tommy to the wall, he finally turns to you.

“Don’t.”

It’s the only word you can say. You’re shaking, your eyes welling with tears. Joel knows you don’t want to see him demolish Tommy with his fists, so he thinks quick. He grabs Tommy’s collar, dragging him out the front door.

You follow far behind, not sure what Joel’s gameplan is.

Tommy is yelling, telling Joel to unhand him. Joel just tightens his grip.

“Coming into my house, talking to my girl like that. Fuckin’ disrespectful little shit.”

“Fuck you, Joel,” Tommy yells, his voice probably waking the neighbors. Joel launches Tommy’s body into the front yard, right near the flower bed. You watch from the doorway, wanting to keep your distance from the confrontation.

“Remember when you had temper tantrums when Momma told you no as a boy? Nothings changed. You’re an immature little brat.”

Joel reaches down into the flower bed, grabbing the hose. Tommy is still on the ground, scrambling to get up. Joel does something so unexpected, it makes you yelp. He starts soaking Tommy with the hose.

“Yeah, like the girl said before,” He aims towards Tommy’s face, “bite me.”

Tommy starts to spit up water, jumping up and away from the stream of water. Instead of tackling Joel like you anticipate, he just shakingly wipes his hair out of his eyes.

“You two are sick. Fuckin’ sick. And everyone will know about this.”

It makes your heart sink to your stomach. You don’t really care if anyone knows anymore. You knew this was going to be the worst part, but its the way he makes it sound like a threat.

“I bet they will, I just don’t give a damn.”

Joel sprays him while he stands up, making Tommy groan and yell out in annoyance. Joel just smiles, sickly.

Tommy storms off to his truck, dripping wet from the shower Joel just gave him on his front lawn. Joel tosses the hose back into the garden, satisfied with his work. You two stand there, watching Tommy do a burn out and speed off down the road. You breathe out loud, your hands finding your face. Joel glances between his neighbour’s houses, ensuring there is no one outside watching the events unfold. He did not care if they did watch, but he knew you would probably care.

He grabs ahold of your shoulders, guiding you back inside the house. Your eyes instantly fall on all the shattered glass and flowers as you walk inside. Joel ignores it and brings you into the kitchen.

Your mind is racing. You knew every word you said to Tommy was right deep down. But the girl you were, she wouldn’t have instigated his rage. She would’ve sat there and took every word he said to heart and believed them.

But the girl you are now, that girl is completely ruthless. You are petty. You are harsh. You are angry.

You kind of scared yourself.

“Joel-”

“No baby,” he mutters, “You better not say what I think you’re gonna say.”

“Joel, we can’t d-”

“We can. Because fuck Tommy. Fuck everyone,” He grabs your hips, letting his hands settle softly on your curves, “I want you. I want you so bad. I am not lettin’ you get away. Tommy can tell everyone in the fuckin’ world about us, and I won’t fuckin’ care. What he says doesn’t reflect you. You did nothin’ wrong. Okay?”

You swallow. You know he’s right, but you’re so scared of all this fallout. You don’t want it to scare you away from Joel, but it’s nervewracking to wait around and anticipate all of the chaos that will follow this incident. You did not want to tear apart a family. It’s the same feeling you had the morning after you first slept with Joel.

You’re scared to have him because of what it means for him. It means weird holidays and weird stares at grocery stores. It means you will be known as his brother’s ex girlfriend never just his girl.

You don’t realize it, but you’re staring past Joel. He tilts your head towards him, making your eyes connect.

“I love you, okay?”

His words make your heart flutter with relief. Maybe that’s what you needed. You needed him to finally say those words. Because those words were hanging in the back of your mind, simmering, waiting to be said.

“I love you, too, Joel.”

#joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #pedro pascal #the last of us #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #gracieheartspedro

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fxrmuladaydreams · 5 months

Note

For Logan weekend, could you 8, 12 and 16 from the smut list Or 9, 10, and 20 from the fluff list? Which ever is easier for you to write!

send me logan blurb requests (sfw & nsfw) for logan weekend

warnings: !! CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI !! fingering, unprotected p in v

but my dear anon, why not both? 👀 i’ll tag the fluff blurb here once it’s finished

8 : crying because of how good it feels

12 : interlacing your fingers during it

16 : taking care of them afterwards

It was a spur of the moment to end up tangled in Logan’s sheets. After peer pressure from friends and hesitant confessions of feelings followed by rushed kisses and the need to be as close as possible, you ended up in his hotel room, clothes strewn around the room.

Logan wanted to take his time with you, to truly savor you, but he felt like he’d lose his mind if he didn’t feel you around him in as soon as possible.

He kisses you as he thrusts two of his fingers in and out of you, your lips his new favorite flavor.

You beg him to fuck you as you feel yourself getting closer to your climax. He pulls his fingers out of you and slips them into his mouth. His eyes roll back as he groans at the taste of you. No, maybe this was his new favorite flavor.

He leans over to shuffle through the drawer next to his bed, his head falling forward as he sighs.

“I don’t have any condoms…” He tries to roll off of you, but you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him back to you.

“Logan. I need you.” You tell him as you stare up into his eyes.

He promises to be careful, to pull out, and to get you some Plan B.

All thoughts of actually being careful are thrown out the window once he’s actually inside you. He’s thick, you can feel every ridge, every vein pressed against your walls. The stretch he gives you quickly morphs from pain to pleasure. Your arms slip from around his neck, falling to rest on the bed next to you in an attempt to ground yourself.

Logan feels like he can’t breathe. You feel like velvet wrapped around him. If he were to die while inside you he’d die a happy man. You clench around him when he rolls his hips, practically clinging onto him.

“Logan, move.” You whimper.

He does, slowly thrusting himself in and out of you, creating a steady pace. He reaches down, and interlaces his fingers with yours. He presses his body closer to yours as his thrusts get harder.

It feels like too much. He’s hitting just the perfect spot over and over again. You feel like you’re buried in the warmth of his body above you. You feel tears spill out of your eyes as you reach your climax. You arch your back, your chest pushing into his as you cry out his name.

Logan quite nearly dies then and there. Your warm cum surrounds his cock as you tighten around him. It’s as if your body wants him to cum, wants to hold his release inside you.

He’s able to hold onto an ounce of self-control though, quickly pulling out of you before he reaches his orgasm. He shoots warm white ropes of cum onto your stomach, groaning as he paints you with his release.

He tries to catch his breath as he moves to lay next to you. He sees you wipe your tears away out of the corner of his eye. He quickly leans over, replacing your hand with his own, softly stroking your cheek.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?”

His immediate care for you warms your heart. If it were possible to fall even more in love with Logan than you already were, you would have.

“No, no, I’m okay. They’re good tears.” You give him a soft smile.

“Oh, alright.” He gives you a shy smile in return. “Um, give me one second.” He sits up and walks over to the bathroom.

He comes back a few moments later with a damp towel. He collects the cum off your stomach and softly wipes down between your legs.

He takes the towel back to the bathroom then comes back and climbs into bed with you. You lay your head against his chest, drawing lazy patterns against his skin, listening to his heartbeat.

“I think I love you Logan.” You tell him quietly. You can hear his heart pound a little faster.

“I think I love you too.”

#logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant smut #ls2 x reader #formula one x reader #logan weekend

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1d1195 · 11 months

Text

Screens II

Read the first part here: Screens

Another thank you to my 🪁-anon. Without you and your kind request, this story would not exist. I hope you enjoy this part as much as possible. Thank you to the following anon's for their support, I don't have names or emoji's for you but here are the kind messages I've received patiently waiting for a part 2: one and only Screens fan, #1 Screens fan, and this one that sobbed while trying to finish reading it. I did not mean to exclude anyone, I typed Screens into my blog's search bar to gather this information.

Finally, this anon provided a good chunk of the inspiration.

I hope you all enjoy it. I wrote it in a sense in a series of flashbacks and you will see this ◊ to indicate the difference in flashback scenes vs. my standard * to indicate a bit of time has passed.

"Okay on with it, lady. You talk to much." --Everyone reading this (probably).

Harry wasn’t so distracted by how pretty she looked with hair and paint falling across her pretty skin and over her beautiful face that he missed her saying the word ‘if.’ A hopeful sign that she believed in a miracle even if she was too scared to say so herself on any given day. Part of him also noted and hated the idea of her finding an apartment without him; even after a mere nine months of being in absolute love with her. He wished he had asked her to move in right then.

December | Holiday Break | 8:30 AM

Harry was extremely mindful of announcing his presence around her because he hated how jumpy she got when anyone else spooked her because she didn’t always see them coming around the corner or something. He especially did so in the quiet of the morning or the stillness of the evening. “Angel?” He called into his apartment. It was chilly on their first day of holiday break from work. Harry wanted her to stay the whole week with him. She couldn’t deny she didn’t want the same thing. He ventured into the winter air and returned with hot coffee, foam on top just as she liked.

They’d been together, officially, for a little over a year. But having known her a bit for the better part of a decade, it was easier than he ever thought to be in a relationship with her and he wished that he had thought of it long before last November. “Mm,” she hummed barely loud enough for him to hear as he approached his bedroom. “M’sleeping,” she mumbled against the pillow as he made his way across the room.

He chuckled quietly and set the coffees on his nightstand before slipping back under the covers with her. She rolled herself on top of him, legs on either side of his hips and her face pressed against the front of his shoulder. She was scrunched against him like a little ball. “Don’t move.”

He wouldn’t have if someone tried to force him to move. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head. “Coffee’ll get cold,” he mumbled, rubbing his fingers against the back of her head. She sighed but said nothing. “C’mon, kitten. Y’told me t’not let y’sleep late,” he cooed and kissed her again.

“I lied,” she murmured. He chuckled. “M’too heavy, that’s it, isn’t it? Want me off you?” He rolled his eyes and squeezed her tight against him.

“No, y’silly thing.” She lifted her head up and hovered above him for a moment. She didn’t speak but she lightly drew her finger over his features. He watched as her eyes squinted, sliding over the trail of her finger in silence. She did this at least once a week. Usually when they saw one another on the weekends because they had more time than their Thursday night ritual. “What are y’doing?” He asked her.

Her cheeks reddened and she shook her head. She didn’t say and Harry let it drop. He always let it drop when he asked. Part of him thought nothing of it, surely it was for a portrait—a painting or a drawing she was working on. She had seen her do it with a rose, tracing the thorns carefully; or the arm of a park bench, admiring how it looked in the afternoon light.

Nonetheless, he enjoyed the way her fingers felt on his skin. It was one of the many things she taught him: using his sense of touch so much more.

Carefully he tightened his grip on her as he rolled the pair of them onto their sides to face one another. He brought his hand to her face and gently brushed his thumb across her lips and then traced his finger over her brow line, over the bridge of her nose, before settling his hand firmly against her cheek. “When’s your appointment?” He asked.

She sighed and shook her head. “Noon,” she mumbled. He gave her body a gentle squeeze as he held her.

“It’ll be alright, kitten.”

“I can’t teach if I can’t see,” she reminded him. “I’m sitting right in front of you, and I can hardly see you,” she whispered quietly.

He frowned and reached behind her for her glasses on the other little table beside his bed. He slid them into place, mindful to not catch her ear or pull too hard against her hair. He smiled at her. It made her stomach flip because Harry was by far the most beautiful person she had ever met. “I love your glasses,” he whispered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I look like a librarian.”

“The sexiest librarian ’ve ever laid eyes on,” he promised and ignored her snort. “Not only do they help y’see, but they help me see. S’like they magnify your eyes. Swear I can see everything you’re hiding in that beautiful brain of yours,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to her forehead, right between the rim of the glasses hovering over her eyes.

“They look like coke bottles.”

He shook his head. “I think you’re gorgeous,” he promised and pulled them down slightly and pressed a kiss to each of her eyelids. Silently he hoped and prayed to whatever god was out there that her appointment would give her good news and make the ache in her mind and heart lessen just a bit. He didn’t care if she needed glasses by any means or if her eyesight got worse. None of that mattered to him at all. He just wanted her to be a little happier than she was before.

Over the past year, he had seen so many stages of her grief. He saw the anger she felt when she missed a step and dropped her food outside the restaurant causing a mess all over her shoes and the entry way. It made her eyes water as she asked the hostess if she could have some towels to clean it up so no one would slip on their way out. Harry helped her clean it up and even placed the quickest to go order ever made so she could have extra for lunch the following day and promised her it was no big deal that she spilled.

He watched her sadness as she couldn’t see things in plain sight—like the ever-hiding remote always evading her vision. Or when she accidentally put cinnamon in her pasta dish because she swore it was paprika.

The pain that puckered her eyebrows together all because her glasses and the screens at work bothered her so much.

Harry begged her so plainly to ask him for help. He had the phone pressed to his ear as he laid his head back against the sofa. Her voice made his stomach knot in the best way—she made him weak in the knees and the only thing he regretted about dating her was not doing it sooner. “I’ll bother you,” she whispered into the phone.

“Kitten, of course not.”

“If you’re hanging out with friends, and you need to come get me because it’s raining at night...and I can’t drive myself home?”

“Then I’ll say, ‘sorry lads, m’princess needs me.’ If they have a problem with that, s’on them,” he said simply with a shrug.

She released a quiet giggle despite how much she didn’t want to. “You’re much nicer to me than anyone I’ve ever known.”

◊

But she wasn’t always so down about it. Sometimes she had a really good sense of humor about it. Harry didn’t love it all that much though. It hurt him to hear her joke about something he knew in his heart hurt her quite a bit. But he was glad she could be in good spirits about it.

“Listen,” she said almost a month after their first kiss. “You’d be surprised how often someone says, ‘what are you blind?’ You’re just going to have to roll with it. It’s okay. I’ve heard it a lot and I say it to myself sometimes. I’ve been working on new comebacks but so far ‘legally, no; spiritually yes,’ is my favorite.”

Harry felt a wave of awkwardness wash over him, but she just continued to smile this gorgeous, bright smile that he had no choice but to let her make her joke.

And if he did say ‘What are you, blind?’ a few days later, well... at least she had warned him.

◊

Harry read to her sometimes. It made her feel like a little kid, but he didn’t dwell on it. He acted as if it was completely normal for a boyfriend to read out loud like a kindergarten teacher to his girlfriend. She snuggled up to him in his lap and glanced at the pages every so often as he held the book in front of them. She had to be careful though because Harry’s voice was so soothing and even though she loved to hear him talk, there had been many chapters she missed because he accidentally put her to sleep with his melodic voice.

◊

Sleeping together in the quiet parts of the night were some of his favorite times. Whether something more intimate happened between them or not. Night was when he felt most attuned to her. Harry couldn’t see any more than she could. Touching her, feeling the goosebumps he left in the wake of his fingertips against her skin made him much more aware of how touch could bring him to his knees for her. He also paid close attention to her near silent, soft whines of pleasure or how her laugh seemed so much brighter in the dark.

But listening to her speak at night might have been one of his most favorite things. “Why did y’leave me after that party?” He whispered. It bothered him a bit when they first started dating.

Her face was pressed to his chest, her finger moving over his face as it always did, this time focusing on the shape of his jaw, outlining the scruffy remnants of hair growth since he last shaved. “Why would you want to be with the near-blind girl?” She shrugged.

It took him no time at all to answer. “Cause she’s perfect.” She smiled and pressed a kiss almost touching the cross necklace that dangled between the sparrows on his chest.

She never asked him again if it mattered to him if she’d go totally blind. Not since she asked after their first kiss last November. He said it all right then at that moment. She believed him so easily because no, she hadn’t ever thought about it. There wasn’t a time when she thought that maybe she wouldn’t go blind. So, for Harry to believe it was possible was more than enough.

◊

Harry worried about her a lot more than most people did a lot of the time. More than her family who were so used to her poor sight it didn’t even phase them when she handed them the wrong cups or passed along the wrong items because they weren’t clear enough about where they were. More than strangers who would roll their eyes at her when she bumped into them on public transport.

But mostly herself because while she had been living with bad eyes for so long, it took Harry some getting used to the ins and outs of the harder things she had to do. One day they painted two canvases together, spinning them back and forth between them for five minutes creating fun little landscapes that didn’t make any sense. “Would y’ever want a seeing eye dog?” He asked. Harry was a terrible painter, but he’d do anything to spend time with her doing her favorite things. “Bet we could get you a really cute pup,” he smiled.

She smirked so cutely, and she wiped her hand across her forehead to get a piece of hair out of her eyes. In doing so, she painted a stripe of pink paint across her forehead, making his heart feel so jumpy with love for her. “Maybe if I went totally blind,” she shrugged. “Would need to find an apartment that allows a cute dog too,” she reminded him. As if a seeing-eye dog wasn’t an exception to most places.

◊

Loving one another didn’t come without some hardships either.

Once more she found herself bumping into someone. Harry had gone ahead to the car to get to her door and naturally the moment he left her side she was nearly falling flat on her bum. However, the person bumping into her was quick, caught her around the waist before she hit the ground. “Oh, easy love. You alright?”

“I’m so sorry,” she said quickly.

“Hardly your fault, love. Don’t be sorry,” he smirked. “S’easy to fall for me,” he winked at her.

She gaped in surprise. Harry wasn’t surprised in the slightest because she was by far the most adorable person on the planet let alone that street. “Excuse me,” Harry said flatly. Harry eyed the arm around her waist that didn’t belong to her or himself, and the man turned his attention to Harry.

“Oh, of course you’re taken...Someone as beautiful as you would have to be,” he released his grip from her. “Sorry, mate,” he said to Harry and then winked at the beautiful girl.

Harry grabbed her hand and marched quickly toward his car without so much as another glance in his direction. “Harry,” she whined as he tugged her. He wasn’t rough, exactly. She didn’t think it was possible for him to be rough with her even when he was grumpy. Her mind flashed to that very first day when he looked at her with so much annoyance for getting food all over his clothes and then separating him from his friends.

Harry often got so protective of her that it came across as overbearing and every so often, he couldn’t help but feel jealous when someone else helped her. She had done so much on her own for so long the idea that she didn’t need him or worse, needed someone else made him so utterly sad that he had a hard time expressing how upset it made him. “M’sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry? Why?”

“Jus’...I get so sad when other people help you,” he frowned. She turned toward him in her seat. “Not because I don’t want them t’help you. But because...I jus’ like helping you. Makes me think y’don’t really need me,” he mumbled. “I know I wasn’t always...so outwardly nice t’you. Think I was a bit of a dick,” he said quietly. “Think it would make a lot of sense if y’found...someone that swept y’off your feet right away.”

She reached out and cupped the side of his face and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips briefly. “I need you, always. More than that...I want you,” she said softly. Harry felt like a lovesick teenager at her words. Wanting him really was so much better than needing him. Because she didn’t. She was wonderfully independent and had done so much on her own for so long, she really didn’t need him. But wanting him around? Harry loved her so much he wondered how he ever could have been without her. “So much it feels like I need you.”

He leaned forward to steal another kiss and she smiled, her glasses bumping his forehead a bit. “I love you,” he promised.

She smiled. “Would you like to know when I fell in love with you?” She asked.

He blinked at her response. “Well, sure,” he nodded.

“When you held my hand at the party and walked me to your room...it was like...I don’t know, I felt like a princess,” she told him. “You totally saved me. I had no plan. No escape. I just didn’t want to bother anyone.”

He smiled at the memory. “I loved sleeping with you,” he winked. She pushed him gently and shook her head. “No really, y’looked so cute in m’clothes. Wanted you t’stay in my bed forever.”

“I bet you did,” she mumbled.

“Ha-ha,” he rolled his eyes. “Never would have thought your cute mind would constantly sit in a gutter, kitten. Yes, of course I wanted that,” he grumbled making her laugh. “Really I jus’ wanted you.”

“You want me too?” She wrinkled her nose making her eyes crinkle at the corners and Harry turned fully to hold her face between his hands. He leaned in to brush his lips over hers like he did the first time he kissed her. She gave the same little whine she did. It went right through his heart.

“What gave it away?” He mumbled against her lips.

◊

“What if it’s hereditary?” She whispered in the dark.

Harry turned to face her even though he couldn’t see anything in the darkened room. He could feel her breath and the anxiety in her voice was so palpable he could feel her voice. “Then...who better to help them than you?”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t wish this on the people that made fun of me,” she mumbled. “I can’t imagine a child like me,” she admitted quietly. “It was so hard.”

Harry frowned and inched closer to her. His nose bumped into hers, he brought his hand up to her cheek. What he said next, he meant whether he was part of the future or not. With everything in him, it was one of the truest things he ever told her. “I can’t think of a luckier child than one like you, m’love.”

◊

It wasn’t always about her eyes. There were pictures they took and vacations they enjoyed. He loved her family and how they made him feel like he was part of her holiday traditions. Gemma and his mum adored her and asked about her more than they asked about Harry.

She had the best jokes from books she read. Her art was beautiful and taking walks through the park with her were some of his favorite dates he’d ever been on.

It was five months in when he told her he loved her for the first time. “You are the most beautiful woman I know,” he said. She smiled at him with the lightest touch of pink painting her cheeks. She made him stop and proceeded to lie in the middle of the sidewalk to capture a picture of the sky between the branches of a tree on the unseasonably warm April day. Harry took his own picture of her doing just that. “See?” He asked, showing her the picture he took.

She looked at the picture momentarily and then back at him. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course, kitten,” he rolled his eyes. “Inside and out; the kindness and warmth you have inside you is probably jus’ a fraction of the beauty y’display outwardly for someone like me that falls in love with you every time y’smile,” he grabbed her hand continued walking down the street enjoying the spring air. She was quiet for the length of the road and when they stopped to wait for the light to change at the crosswalk, she looked up at him at her side.

“You’re in love with me?” She asked.

He blinked in surprise, feeling a bit tongue tied. He chuckled awkwardly as he glanced at her. “Uh...sorry... I should have waited...said that in the privacy of your apartment...or mine, or something. Not in the middle of a busy street.”

She smiled and shook her head at him. “I love you, too.”

The light changed and back again, but neither of them noticed because he was too busy kissing her while the crowd moved around them.

◊

Sometimes she got so angry and frustrated with herself that she would accidentally take it out on Harry. Like the time she didn’t see how close her fingers were to the knife and nicked herself good. Not enough to need stitches or even a trip to the minute clinic, but enough to make Harry ooh and ahh over her. “Angel,” he murmured after she ripped her hand away from him.

“Stop,” she sniffed. She wasn’t in pain—at least not from her little wound she inflicted upon herself. “Just stop.”

He frowned and pressed his lips together trying not to overwhelm her with his worry. In those moments, he stood waiting patiently. Eventually she would say sorry, and he would shake his head. “You don’t have t’apologize t’me ever, m’love...not ‘bout this.”

He knew this was hard for her. Every time she hurt herself or dropped something, it was a reminder that her eyes weren’t working the way they were supposed to. The last thing he wanted was her spiraling and worrying about what would come next.

But he wanted her to know that whatever it was, he would be right beside her. Seeing for her even if she couldn’t.

December | Holiday Break | Lunch time

She never let Harry go into her appointments with her. However, he made sure he was the first one to meet her at the door right outside the office because her eyes were almost always dilated. It amplified how difficult it was for her to see where she was going. After nearly bumping into someone as she exited, she apologized awkwardly. Almost instantly, Harry was there looping her arm through his elbow. “Hey beautiful,” he said kissing the top of her head. He didn’t say anything else. Didn’t ask about the appointment. He knew better. She would say something if needed.

He opened her car door, helping her into the seat and placed sunglasses over her eyes to protect her widened pupils. He kissed the space where her forehead met her hairline and closed her safely in the car. Once inside the car himself, he drove off, planning to get her more coffee because she hated these appointments and Harry wanted to treat her for being brave even when she didn’t want to be. She leaned against the window and didn’t speak. Harry placed a hand on her leg, and she wrapped her fingers around his. He gave her a squeeze and continued driving silently.

“They have a new... cutting edge surgery they want me to try,” she whispered to the window.

He squeezed her hand again, glanced long enough to see her contemplative reflection in the glass. “How d’you feel about that?” He asked.

“Nervous.”

He smiled weakly. He wished he could look at her, but he knew talking about it was easier when he wasn’t looking at her—even if she couldn’t fully see him. Harry ordered at the drive through and then continued driving to a little spot by a lake. It was still so chilly outside—even at the warmest part of the day. There was steam coming off the water from the warmth of the sun beating off it. She took a picture of it on her phone and Harry knew the look of concentration on her face was trying to figure out how to recreate the steam in a painting.

They were sitting on the hood of his car. It was still warm from the engine and Harry had a blanket laid over their laps. She leaned back against the windshield holding the coffee cup upright to keep her hands warm. Harry turned to his side to look at her. He brought his hand to push her hair away from her forehead and he traced along her hairline. “Do y’want surgery?”

She sighed. “I wanna be able to see.”

He smiled gently and gave her cheek a kiss. “Will it...get worse? If y’try it?”

She shook her head. “No more than the risk of a regular surgery. It won’t be perfect. I’d still need glasses. I’ll still have trouble seeing. But...I won’t go blind. It’ll either stop it from getting worse or it won’t work,” she shrugged.

“Sounds like you have nothing t’lose then, angel,” he murmured.

She was quiet for a second. “I trace your face so much because I worry, I’ll never see it again,” she whispered. Harry was speechless...all those times he asked her what she was doing... He never thought that was her reason. “I want it to be muscle memory,” she explained. “So... if my eyes...if I can’t see anymore...I hope I can sculpt it from memory,” she whispered.

That beautiful word ‘if’ made his heart so full of love for her.

But, by far that was the most...genuine thing anyone had ever said to him. “God, I wish I dated you so much earlier,” he mumbled and leaned down to kiss her as deeply as he could manage while the cold December air cooled her coffee down once more while he gently traced his tongue along her lower lip.

Her cheeks turned this beautiful shade of red that Harry loved so much. The sunglasses over her eyes hid so much from him. He meant every word earlier. He loved her glasses so much, if only allowing him to see deeper into her soul. “If...it works though...” she whispered after a minute of kissing. He didn’t say anything because he sensed there was more, and she swallowed hard. “I’m scared I won’t be me...I feel like my whole life has been put on hold because of my eyes. I don’t know if I know how to live without... thinking about them.”

“Then we’ll learn t’live without thinking ‘bout them,” he shrugged reaching for a piece of her hair and stroking it like a paint brush across her face. “You’re more than your eyes, kitten.”

Her heart felt so warm at his words. Harry always made the well-being of her eyes an effort for the two of them. It wasn’t a battle she faced alone. Harry was there the whole time encouraging her, helping her, keeping a literal eye on things for her when she couldn’t. It didn’t bother him when she cried about not seeing something. When she bumped into walls or doors, he never said anything other than to make sure she was alright. If she dropped something and made a mess, he simply helped her clean it up. Harry was her personal chauffeur, and he didn’t care at all.

“To be fair m’love, I would be driving y’around anyway because you’re a lady and I adore you and m’mum taught me t’hold car doors open for the women I adore. And I’d rather drive and keep y’safe... plus you’re a terrible driver even when y’can see. S’a danger to you, me, and everyone else on the road.”

“We wouldn’t...” she whispered quietly and shook her head, looking away from him.

“Wouldn’t what, m’love?” He murmured looking at her with a frown on his lips. Worry etched between his eyes.

“We wouldn’t...be in love...if it weren’t for the fact I can’t see,” she reminded him and turned to look back at his expectant face waiting for her to complete her thought. “I wouldn’t have spilled food on you. You wouldn’t have sat up front and asked if I couldn’t see. There wouldn’t have been writing notes for me or making sure I was okay at that party or at the pub...”

“Kitten, I learned t’read Braille for you. I don’t care if y’can see or not. I would do anything for you. I may have fallen for you because you couldn’t see but I don’t stay because of it. I stay because I adore you.”

“What?” She whispered breathlessly. She sat up fully while Harry stayed lying flat against the windshield. “You learned...you did what?”

He shrugged. “M’probably not very good at it. But I don’t know...thought if it came down to it, if it got worse and you were sad...I’d want t’help.”

Harry saw the tear slip down her cheek past her sunglasses. “Harry Styles,” she practically sighed. “You are...I don’t know...”

“The love of your life, maybe?” He smiled cutely and reached up to rub the tear from her cheek.

For the second time in her life, she had so much hope swelling in her heart. Harry, the cause of it once more. “And hopefully every life I’ve ever have and ever will live.”

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @tiredinwinter

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

#harry #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #one direction #one direction writing #screens

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tierneysodegaard · 2 years

Text

Dirty Secrets - Pierre Gasly x reader - Part Eight

Read Part Seven here

Pierre Gasly x female!reader

Summary: Being the golden girl of Mercedes was easy when your dad was Toto Wolff. You’d been his Personal Assistant for a while with no problems until Pierre Gasly started to sneak around with you. Toto would kill him if he found out he was sleeping around with his daughter. Let’s just hope you have a good concealer to hide those marks Pierre leaves on your neck every night.

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, smut 18+++, Pierre being a little shit

—

The only communication you had with Toto during your time away was the odd text about work he needed you to prepare for a meeting. You'd speak the odd word in an online meeting but tried to keep quiet as much as possible without drawing attention to yourself or him. You now had to face Toto back at work. The drivers were racing in the 70th-anniversary race at Silverstone, the week before Pierre had managed to finish in seventh, something he was incredibly proud of but still wanted more.

He'd always wanted to win a race and he always had the determination to do that but since things with your Dad blew up his motivation grew. Not only did he want to prove to himself that he was capable of winning but he also wanted to prove to Toto he wasn't the lay-about driver he made him out to be.

You had been staying with Pierre whilst the weekend dragged on. Although Toto had booked you a room next to him you never used it. Staying with Pierre just made him hurt more, he knew he had made things worse, the bitterness and fear of his daughter getting hurt had gotten to him and he needed to make it right before Pierre made his move and he lost you.

"Nervous?" You asked Pierre as the two of you walked through the garages.

"Nope." He looked down with a smile. "Are you?"

"Think my Dad is the one who needs to be worried."

"I'm sure you'll smooth things over."

"He hopes."

"And you don't?"

"I miss him, why wouldn't I? It's rare we spend time away from one another but after what he said I don't exactly feel guilty."

"I don't blame you." Pierre wrapped his hand around your shoulder, pulling you into his side as you two approached the Mercedes garages. "I'll meet you after the race." He kissed the top of your head, smiling as he pulled away slightly. "We should go for dinner in the week if you want to stay with me for the next couple of races."

"I'd love to." You smiled up at him before speaking again. "Be safe out there."

"I will be." He gave you a wink. "I'll see you after."

"Bye Pierre."

Whilst the pair of you had the small interaction you didn't realise you two were being watched. Toto had watched the entire scene take place and every ounce of guilt he’d felt disappeared when he saw Pierre lay his hands on you. He already hated Pierre as it is but now he’d seen the pair of you share a kiss right before him his patience grew thin.

You walked inside of the garage, smiling and sharing a hug with Lewis before taking your usual seat beside Toto. “Afternoon.” You gave him a weak smile, trying to ease the tension but it didn’t seem to work.

“How are you?” Toto asked in a deadpan tone.

“Good, and you?”

“Hmm…” He hummed, trying his best to be nice but the thought of Pierre and you just made his skin crawl.

“How’s Susie and Jack?”

“They’re fine.”

“Good.” Taking a deep breath your eyes darted outside, watching as the drivers got ready for the race. Sensing things weren’t going as well as you had hoped Lewis came up behind you, resting his hand on your shoulder as he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“He’s in a mood, he’ll come around.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side as he gave you a smile.

“Thank you.” You whispered back, mirroring his smile as he walked off to get ready.

Lewis had a point. Toto would come around eventually, you hoped anyway. Sure, the two of you had your small disputes and arguments, but the two of you had always bounced back and made up within a day, but now things just seemed different. He didn't even want to hold a conversation with you now.

I hope you’re right Lewis.

The race had started with Pierre in P7 but things wouldn’t go his way today. Lewis got away well, leading the race within the first few seconds. As the laps built up Pierre started to fall down the ranks, slowly losing out on the points. He’d done well after that though, he’d started to put in faster lap times however it wasn’t enough. He ended up finishing just outside the points at P11. You had a defeated look on your face as you glanced out to the track, something Toto noticed.

“And you still think he’s good enough to win a race?” Toto turned his head and looked down at you with an unimpressed look.

“You know what? I do think he can win a race. I’m that confident, I think he’ll win this year.” You shrugged him off, getting up and leaving the garage to watch the ceremony. You didn’t care for his pettiness right now. You knew you had nothing to apologise for and you certainly weren’t going to suck up to Toto just for an apology.

“y/n?” A soft voice called for you. Turning around you met the kind eyes of Susie. She held her arms open for you, engulfing you in a hug before she spoke again. “You look well love, how are you?”

“Thank you, yes I’m fine.” You gave her a slight smile. “How are you? And Jack?”

“He misses you a lot.” Her head turned to Toto. “So does he.”

“Doesn’t act like it.”

“It’s hard for him, seeing his daughter grow up -”

“Susie I grew up years ago. His problem is he’s afraid I’ll get hurt and whilst I appreciate that if I do get hurt then it’s my lesson to learn, not his.”

“I know…” She gave you a defeated look. “Did you two speak today?”

“Briefly.”

“I thought he might have apologised today…”

“Well if he had that in his head he clearly changed his mind.” Rolling your eyes you did your best to focus on the drivers receiving their trophies.

“I don’t like seeing this family be torn apart.”

“Tell that to Toto.” You gave her a look. “He started this, yes I understand both him and Pierre need to apologise to one another but he still didn't need to make those comments about me.”

“I know y/n.” Her weak smile grew. “I will talk to him, again… I can't promise anything but I will see what I can do.”

“You won’t have to do much.” Toto’s voice broke the two of you apart. “Can we talk? In my office?”

Taking a quick glance back at the trophy ceremony which was now ending you turned back to your Dad and gave him a slight nod. Toto turned on his heel and walked off in front of you, turning his head slightly to make sure that you were following him before picking up the pace. He needed this, you both did. As you left Susie had the word's most enormous grin on her face, hopefully, now the two of you would finally talk things through.

—

The pair of you entered his office, Toto closed the door behind him, running a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath. His soft eyes met yours as he began to speak, laying his tryst in every word he spoke, hoping he could get through to you.

“First of all you’re right.”

“I’m aware.”

He gave you a look before speaking again. “I was being selfish, I don’t want you getting hurt and it’s your life to live not mine. As your Dad I should have supported what was happening no matter what I think of him and then if things went wrong I should be here to pick up the pieces. I shouldn’t have made that comment about you and the ones about Pierre. y/n I am sorry.”

“Do you mean it?”

“Every single word.” His eyes were sincere. “I promise you.”

“And what about Pierre?” You arched your brows.

“What about him?”

“Are you going to apologise to him too?”

“Maybe -”

“Dad!”

“He started it!”

“Are you four? This has nothing to do with who started it!”

“I still don’t like him.” He huffed.

“I’m not asking you to like him, I’m asking you to tolerate him whilst the two of us are friends.”

“Clearly more than that.”

“Stop it!” You held your arm out, scolding him like he was a child which only made him laugh.

“Alright, alright, I’ll work on an apology and talk to him.” Toto stepped forward, holding his arms out which allowed you to fall into his chest. He grabbed his arms around you, making sure you couldn’t leave that fast. The small feeling of a hug brought him so much joy. “And I’ll tolerate him, to an extent.”

You pulled away slightly looking up at him with a smile. “Good.”

“Does he make you happy?”

“Yes…”

“In what way?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you and him together?”

“No well… not that I know of. We’re just friends -”

“Who sleep together?”

“The very same relationship you had with my mother.” You hit back, stepping back with a grin which Toto mirrored.

“Enough about Gasly, are you flying to the next race with us or are you going with him?”

“Have you forgotten we all get the same flight?”

“I know but are you planning to sit with him or me?”

“Think I might pick Pierre, you snore too much -”

“And he doesn’t?”

“No actually.” You smiled. “He’s rather silent when he sleeps.”

“Don’t tell Susie,” Toto remarked. “She might leave me for him.”

“Can you blame her?” You teased as the pair of you left the office together. He still had work to do but it was a start, he showed that although he may hate Pierre he was willing to at least try and get along with him for you. You just hoped that was true.

—

You were now boarding the plane with Toto and Susie when you turned your head slightly and met the eyes of Pierre. Everyone at F1 other than the few odd drivers all took the same plane to races. At the end of the day, it was cheaper that way and it made everything more enjoyable as you never had to sit next to a screaming child but rather an f1 driver who would reminisce on their karting days.

As you boarded Toto caught you constantly looking behind you, it was only when his eyes landed on the Frenchman he caught on to what or rather who you were looking at. He rolled his eyes at the interaction, fighting everything in his body that told him to make a comment but you’d only just forgiven him for everything that had happened a few weeks ago so he kept his mouth shut. If he wanted to keep you happy he’d just have to accept that his daughter had her sights on a Formula 1 driver.

As the three of your boarded Toto watched Pierre lean in and whisper in your ear, whatever he said made you laugh before he walked to find his seat.

“Go and sit with him.” Toto spoke, looking back at Pierre who had a seat free beside him and who was also watching you eagerly.

“You know that’s now how a plane works.”

“Look at your seat number then.” He gave you a light smirk as you checked your ticket, the seat you had was directly beside Pierre. “How did you -”

“First part of the apology. I’m not going to control your life, if you want to sit with him then I won’t stop you. I know you’d rather talk with him the whole flight than listen to me complain about how Verstappen won over Lewis.”

You gave him a quick short hug as you spoke. “Thank you.”

Perhaps Pierre and Toto would finally get along, one day.

You quickly walked down the aisle to a very happy Pierre. He leant back in his seat with a smug grin at the fact you’d chosen to sit with him rather than Toto and Susie after your actions clearly displayed that the two of you were back on good terms again.

“Couldn't stay away long huh?” He remarked as you placed your bags away.

“You can thank my Dad for that.” You moved to sit beside the window before shifting to face him. “Well done at the race by the way.”

“It was a shit race y/n don’t lie to me.”

“You’ve had worse.”

He let out a small grin at your optimism. “You have a point.”

“Exactly so don’t worry about it. You’ll improve next week, I know you will.”

“So full of optimism y/n.” He smiled. “How do you do it?”

“When you work in this sport you need to be full of it.”

“That along many other things.” He added.

“Exactly so take my word for it and be done with it. Realistically you can’t change what happened in the past so why linger on it? The more you linger on it the more opportunities that’ll pass you by and you might miss one that’ll change your life.”

Pierre looked at you, stunned by the words that had just come out of your mouth. Normally when he was pissed off everyone would just agree and move on but you would actually listen to him and give him advice.

God, he was falling hard.

“You’re perfect…” He muttered.

You were about to ask him what he said but the voice of the pilot brought the conversation to a halt but even after your seemingly innocent conversation Pierre also had another thing on his mind, a way to punish you.

“Do you remember I said to you I was going to punish you last time we slept together?”

“Yeah.” You looked at him just as the air hostesses did their final safety checks. “Why?”

“No reason.” His hand slid to your thigh. “Just wanted to see if you remembered really.”

“And if I didn’t?”

“Just another punishment that’ll be added to the list but right now you’re about to serve your first one.” His hand dared to go higher as he slowly traced patterns on your skin.

“Pierre we’re on a plane.”

“I’m well aware of that.” He smirked as he slipped his hand higher and towards where you wanted him. “But no one will hear you moan when the plane takes off, you know it can get loud.”

“Pierre there are people around us -”

“Then you better be quiet and not squirm or they’ll watch you cum over my fingers whilst the entire grid sits around us.”

“I fucking hate you.” You moaned those words as he slipped his hand under and into the thin material of your underwear, using his frame to hide what was happening between the two of you.

“Mon amour,” He leaned in to whisper in your ear. “You fucking love me.”

He might be right there.

He let his fingers trace your slit which only added to your wetness. Knowing anyone could look and see the two of you made you even wetter, not to mention he was a rival driver, to an extent anyway.

“Pierre don’t be a tease, not now. I’ll let you tease all you want later -”

“Why’s that love? Are you scared someone will see you getting all wet over my fingers?”

You gripped the seat even tighter as the plane started to take off. Your hips bucked slightly, an attempt for him to keep going.

“Christ you’re so wet… all for me…” He planted a kiss on your cheek as he slipped his fingers inside of you. The action alone makes you throw your head back slightly and let out a gasp. “Such a good girl for me y/n…” He angled himself so he could rub your clit with his thumb.

“Pierre please…”

“Please what?” He moved his fingers slowly before placing a small kiss to your neck. “Use your words, my girl, I know you can…”

“Please speed up.”

“What love?” His fingers moved quicker out of you before speeding up but it didn’t last long. He suddenly slowed down and moved back to fucking you on his fingers to rubbing your clit faster. “What do you want? Do you want me to fuck you fast or play with your clit fast?”

“Both!” You nearly moaned the word as you bucked your hips onto his fingers. “Please Pierre…”

“Beg.” He used his free hand to turn your jaw towards him before planting a sweet yet demanding kiss on your lips.

“Please Pierre, please I want to cum over your fingers.”

“Yeah?” He kissed you again. “How bad?”

“So badly Pierre, please. I want you.”

“Yeah?” He started to speed up, feeling the dampness spread across his fingers and onto your underwear. He smirked to himself knowing for the entire time you had them you would think of him and this moment. “Then cum sweetheart, cum all over my fingers whilst the entire grid sits near us, such a slut being so desperate for me right now.”

“If you’re lucky I’ll fuck you in the bathroom.” You gasped as you felt your orgasm approach you.

“Oh will you now?” He leant in again, kissing you again. “I think we both know I’ll be the one fucking you.”

“Make me cum and we’ll find out.”

Your words only made Pierre speed up and add more pressure to your clit. The feeling built up in your stomach, your hips started to buck against his hand, adding more pleasure. Pierre smirked at the way you now held onto his arm whilst you looked into his light eyes.

“Pierre I’m -”

“Cum for me. I don’t want you to hold back.”

Needless to say, you came hard around his fingers, trying your best to suppress a loud moan as the plane took off. Squeezing your legs as you came Pierre retracted his fingers from you, bringing them to his mouth so he could suck them clean.

“You taste so sweet…” His eyes darted back to your state, your head leant against the chair as you calmed your breathing. “You sure you can handle me fucking you in the bathroom.”

Turning your head you grinned, winking as you sat up and undone your seatbelt. “I’ll meet you in there Gasly.”

Pierre smirked to himself as he watched you walk off, a sway in your step which he watched with glee. Toto picked his head up as he watched you walk past him and headed off to the toilet. He didn’t pay much mind until he saw Pierre follow your actions a mere minute later.

“Are they?” He turned to Susie before looking back in the direction you and Pierre had walked off in. Susie followed his gaze, smiling and suppressing a laugh as she caught on to what he was alluding to.

“Well if they are, I hope you don’t need the toilet anytime.”

—

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chaos-is-beautifvl · 2 years

Text

𝐢 𝐬𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞...

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: eddie munson x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you think your “tiny” crush on one d&d-playing, ring-wearing, poodle-rivaling brunet goes unnoticed until you’re confronted in a pizzeria of all places

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠: fluff, cursing (possible overuse of ‘shit’), excessive and shameless but respectful staring lol, dustin being a good wingman (wingboy? idk), mike being a little shit, & mentions of weed

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3370

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: didn’t think i’d be joining the eddie munson band wagon but he and joseph quinn have stolen my heart & won’t give it back || i just finished vol. 2 … i am not okay 😀 i hope you enjoy & feedback is golden so let me know what you think! feel free to send me a request, guidelines here

buy me a coffee ☕️!

Eddie is different. And not because of his long hair with fluffy curls that could rival a poodle. Not because of his affinity for using his hands to make devil horns in that same poodle-rivaling hair. Not because he likes D&D, smokes weed, or does any of the other bullshit people find a reason to dislike.

Eddie is just different. But in the best way possible.

Like Steve, you had been roped in as mother hen number two, caring for the little troublemakers. It was comical how often they came looking to you for help when the other mother pawned them off on you, dubbing it “your weekend”.

It didn’t bother you. Like at all. In fact, you were more than comfortable with playing house. You would like to say that it’s because you have nothing else to do, but that is only partially true. There are a million and one other things you could be doing than waiting to catch a glimpse of Eddie “the freak” Munson.

And, yeah, maybe you are paying too much attention to someone who has hardly shown you interest; but life is short. Why not spend your time ogling?

You ogle discreetly - you never stare for longer than three seconds. Also, you always try your hardest to stay engaged in the ongoing conversation to not draw unwanted attention. While it may be a bit much, the plan is yours, and well, it works.

At least, it usually did. You blame the kids. The day had been chock-full of taking the little gremlins two towns over to get their sticky paws on the latest version of a video game, which resulted in your car breaking down. Then you had to get it towed and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, your day had not exactly gone to plan.

Your day was a bit stressful, and who wants to feel stressed? Certainly not you. So, to feel better, you do what you have to. And it does its job. You decide to allow yourself more than three seconds to stare respectfully. What? You still have manners.

Staring at Eddie is like going to an art museum. You stare at the art because it captivates you, right? In your defense, Eddie Munson had captivated your attention on more than one occasion.

The thunking of the dice rolling on the table was followed by a collective groan. The frustration gave you the perfect opportunity to look back at Eddie. His head was tilted back in a hearty laugh as what he previously predicted came to bite the group in their asses. You wanted to feel bad for the kids, but he did warn them, so whatever happened was their fault.

You were too busy window shopping to hear the repeated calls of your name. You pulled yourself out of your daydreaming, noticing Eddie staring at you. Wait... Not just staring at you. Eddie was staring at you, staring at him.

You quickly turned your gaze away from his brown eyes, praying to whatever higher power was out there he hadn’t seen you ogling him the entire time. Clearing your throat, you turned to Dustin, “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Uhh, nothing.” The words came out way too fast, and you furrowed your eyebrows. Obviously, nothing meant there was something.

“Okay...” You felt your eyes drifting over to the brunet, poodle-rivaling D&D player. Before you could embarrass yourself any further, you stood up, the scraping of your chair against the floor directing all attention to you. Yeah, not really the effect you were going for.

“You guys hungry?” Simple. Effective. Mom hen-ish.

The group sang choruses of yes and omg, I’m starving. So, naturally, you were spared humiliation when you took a vote and landed on pizza. They were nearing the end of their campaign, and you knew they would be both hungry and tired afterward.

Just before you made it out the door, Mike called you back. You sighed, hoping he wasn’t trying to change the pizza order. What he said instead took you by surprise. “How are you gonna get there? I mean, your car is toast - like burnt toast. Like really burnt."

You narrowed your eyes, resisting the urge to roll them. Why did he feel the impending need to remind you of the hot shit you were already wading through? Michael Wheeler, everybody! The kid who gives no fucks!

“I can just get it,” Eddie suggested, leaning forward with elbows resting on the table. His hair was released from its ponytail - if it could even be considered one with its looseness. You found yourself staring a bit too long, directing your attention back to his face, where you discovered a cocked brow and tiny smirk tugging at his lips.

“Or!” Dustin shrugged, tilting his head back and forth. “You could just go together.” He sent a slightly sympathetic look to his older friend, “No offense, Eds, but you’re pretty shit at remembering things. Besides, who is gonna help you with all those boxes?” Dustin did an enthusiastic drum roll on the table, smiling, “Y/N! She’s pretty strong.”

You were trying to be strong; you really were. The ride into town was awkward, putting it mildly. You realized that it may have seemed rude to have your entire body facing the door and not to say a word, but being in a tight space, so close, you were trying your hardest not to stare.

Once the pizza place came into view, you quickly hopped out of the van as soon as he unlocked the doors. Your feet dragged you over to the entrance before you could stop them, and you felt bad when he reached over and held the door open for you.

You muttered a small thanks. Any more words, you would probably have exposed your silly little crush.

It was mostly empty, and you took your time staring at the posters and writings on the walls, attempting to not stare at the one thing (or one person, to be exact) you should not be looking at.

But eventually, like they usually did, your eyes wandered over, and you found yourself staring at Eddie again. It was beginning to become a problem at this point. And that was further proven when he started talking.

“Hey, Paul, how ya doing? So we’ll get two...” Eddie squinted his eyes, tapping the counter with his fingers as if that would speed up the recollection process.

You snapped out of your stupor and stepped forward. “Hi, could you get us four pepperoni pizzas and one supreme?”

“Right.” Eddie clasped his hands together, nodding like he was the one who remembered, not you. “Four pepperonis and one supreme. Right, right, right.”

Paul jotted it down on his tiny notepad. Not looking up, he mumbled the price, and Eddie stopped you when you went to pull out your wallet.

Leaning on the counter with his elbows and hair sweeping over his shoulders, he flashed a grin at the boy. “Paul, my man, you remember that time you got some-”

The brunet glanced at you, “substances... a.k.a. weed from me." Eddie coughed, whispering the words out. “And, you didn’t pay because your mom took away your allowance since you wouldn’t clean your room? Remember how I let it slide?”

Paul looked around the pizzeria nervously, hoping no one was listening. Once the coast was clear, he nodded, swallowing.

“Yeah, well, now is the time to pay. Soooo,” Eddie tapped his fingers on the counter as he straightened. “We’re gonna get these pizzas on the house, and you don’t have to worry ‘bout paying me back. Cool with you? Great! Go get ‘em, bud.” He patted Paul on the shoulder, sending him scurrying away to the back.

You watched the entire exchange with wide eyes. There was something so wildly attractive about Eddie taking charge, even if he couldn’t remember a simple pizza order. You thanked him quietly, again sure that if you said another word, it would be your inevitable downfall.

A silence settled over the two of you. Continuing to stare at the art on the walls and the work of art standing right next to you, you tried to recollect yourself. Though Eddie was probably a gift from whatever higher power was out there, your obsession was getting out of hand.

Sure, he might be nice to look at, but you weren’t some middle schooler who just figured out what crushes were and how exciting they could be. You were older and more rational and-

Before your affirmations could take off, a voice pulled you back to the present. You turned to see Eddie facing you. He chuckled softly, noticing that you weren’t paying attention to a word. You were stuck up in your head somewhere.

“Sorry, what?” You felt sheepish. Not only had you repeatedly stared at him like he was on display with you watching through the window to see if you wanted to try him on, but he had caught you doing so. Your zoning out and ignoring him was the cherry on the insurmountable pile of shit you were digging your way out of. If there was even a tiny chance in hell that Eddie was interested in you, it was now flushed down the drain for how rude you have been.

“I said, do you wanna sit down? Probably be a while till Paulie boy is done, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to stand the entire time.” He shrugged, “Or, maybe you do. Who knows?”

“No, sitting sounds good.”

It wasn’t. The first couple of minutes were treacherously slow. Maybe your communication skills were terrible or maybe your eyes couldn’t stop staring at the tiles on the floor. Either way, the silent thing was not working, and you honestly felt so bad that Eddie had to put up with you.

Apparently, Eddie was as discontent with the awkward silence as you were. After humming and tapping his fingers on the table to a song oddly resembling Cherry Bomb by The Runaways, he leaned forward.

“Let’s play a game.”

A what? “Huh...” was your dumb reply. In your defense, you were still stuck on him knowing that song. Doesn’t he only listen to metal? At least, that’s what you heard during your stalking hours, which are anytime you two were in the same vicinity.

His laugh caught you off guard, but in a pleasant way. “God, you really are in your head a lot, aren’t you?” Warmth rushed to your face, and you suddenly felt like he had placed a spotlight directly on you.

“I- uh- I’m not-” You are so embarrassing. That thought was followed with a mental facepalm because what the hell were you saying.

“I’m sorry. That must be pretty annoying. What game did you have in mind?” Good, there you go. Normal speaking like a normal human.

Eddie watched you with interest, rolling his lips so the amusement begging to show would remain hidden. Ignoring the laughter bubbling in his throat, he made a circle with his hand and put it to his eye.

“Let’s play I Spy...”

You stared blankly for a few seconds, letting it marinate. Eddie was humming a song suspiciously similar to something you would have never guessed the brunet to be into. He also wanted to play a game. With a tilt of your head, you expressed your bamboozlement.

“What?”

“Oh, okay. You don’t know- Basically, the way the game works is someone finds something and-“

You held up a hand, halting his speaking as you chuckled. “I know what I Spy... is, Eddie. I just- You actually wanna play that? Or are you, I don’t know, just trying to fill the silence?”

He stared at you quizzically, and you figured you had said too much until he shook his head.

“Nope, I wanna play. So, you in, daydreamer?”

“Sure.” Why not? What could possibly go wrong?

And the game began. First, it was small things like something black and white. The floor tiles. Or something red. That one took Eddie a second because the two of you were in a pizza place where almost everything was red. But it was the jukebox collecting dust in the corner.

Then, things took a turn for the worst. Well, correction, they weren’t that bad (only slightly), but boy, did they take you by surprise.

Eddie was next, and you were a bit nervous as he had given you surprisingly difficult, specific things to find. His brown eyes looked around the pizzeria before they landed on you, accompanied by a mischievous glint and a conspiratorial grin.

“I spy...” Eddie paused for dramatic effect, putting you on the edge of your seat, “with my little eye...”The brunet winked at you, and you mentally cursed whatever higher power created him. One simple gesture had you wishing you could stop window shopping, go into that metaphorical store, and take him home.

“A person.”

...

Is he serious?

“Wearing black.”

Is he talking about himself or...?

“Who is always stuck in their head.”

That’s oddly specific.

“And...” His grin morphed into a smirk as he squinted his eyes at you. You doubt he realized he was enunciating the purpose of the game. “Andddd is a little stalker.”

Can you guess who he’s talking about? Ding, ding, ding. You! We have a winner! Or maybe, this isn’t as much of a win, considering your crush (ahem, obsession) was just exposed.

“I can totally explain-” Could I, though? “I am so sorry.” That was partially true. You felt bad but who wouldn’t want to stare at Eddie Munson. “God, you must think I’m such a creep.”

Your worried rambling was cut short by the most angelic sound - Eddie’s laughing. You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole. He was laughing at you. Laughing. You swear you have never felt as embarrassed in all your years.

“I think I’m just gonna go...”

Wait, how am I going to get home? Walk? Nah, too far. Hitchhike? Too dangerous. I’ve seen enough TV and newspapers warning against that to try it myself. I may be obsessive, but I’m not stupid. Wait, maybe I could-

Eddie covered his mouth, attempting to hide his laughter behind his hand. He shook his head, his face tinting red as he composed himself. “No, no. You’re- God-” He started laughing again. “You’re just, uh- it’s kinda cute, you know?”

Cute...?

He interrupted before you could ask what exactly that meant. “You probably think you’re pretty discreet, right?” Well, you did at first. But now, it was obvious that you had not been. “It’s just- it’s kinda obvious. Like the whole looking, then looking away, and the whole daydreaming thing.”

Oh. Were you really that obvious?

“C’mon, don’t be so embarrassed.” Eddie peeled your palms off your face. You looked up to see a wondrous sight. His face was reddened from all the laughing, and a wide grin had broken through the surface.

“Don’t be-” You pulled your hands away, pouting as you slumped in your seat. “Of course, I’m embarrassed, Eddie. You weren’t supposed to find out.”

This was torture.

“So, if I hadn’t called you out on it, you would keep doing it?” He caught you there.

“Well- um...” There was no way for redemption, so you shut your mouth. It was bad enough that he’d caught you, and you definitely didn’t want to make the situation even worse because your mouth wouldn’t stop moving.

Eddie watched your internal battle with an overly amused interest. Had the situation been different, you probably would have given him a piece of your mind. Instead, you sat in your seat, brows furrowed and lip jutting out as you tried to alleviate the sticky mess you found yourself in.

“Look, Eddie, I’m sorry, really.” You took in a breath, “I completely understand why you might be creeped out and-”

“Hold on, wait.”

You stopped talking, finally turning to look at him. And, no, not like that. You were too embarrassed to enjoy the view.

“You don’t think I’m actually mad, do you?" Your silence elicited an incredulous look from the brunet. “Do you?” A halfhearted shrug was your reply.

Sensing your embarrassment, Eddie stifled his laughing for real this time, ducking his head to look at you. All your previous thoughts about not being a crush-obsessed middle schooler were flushed down the clogged drain of your problems. It was silly, but you wanted to cry at how embarrassed and, quite frankly, mortified you felt.

“Hey... you know I’m just messing around, right?” He scoffed, “Hell, I’m an attention whore so all your staring is going straight to my big ego. Do you realize that?”

A soft chuckle and a shake of your head made Eddie smile. “No, really. I’ve just been soaking it up. I’m a real glutton for praise, but hey, maybe next time, you should ask me out before undressing me with your eyes.”

You gawked at him, finally meeting his gaze. While you weren’t expecting him to be okay with it, it was an even bigger shock for him to say that.

It seemed that the gods or whoever was out there decided to end your misery. Or, they were sick and tired of you embarrassing yourself. Either way, Paul set the pizzas on the counter, calling the two of you over.

“Oh, would you look at that? Our pizzas are done. I’m gonna go get them...” You mumbled out the last couple of words as you hurried to the counter like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Eddie watched in astonishment and amusement as you somehow bundled up all five pizza boxes in your arms, kicking the door open with your foot.

Dustin wasn’t kidding about you being pretty strong. Not that five pizza boxes are a whole lot. But still, Eddie was impressed.

He turned to Paul, who was wearing a similar look. “She’s pretty cool, huh?”

Paul could only nod, rubbing the back of his neck. Before the boy went to answer the ringing phone, he muttered and shook his head, “They make an odd couple.”

The two of you made it back, Eddie carrying most of the boxes (which he said was part of him making up for the immense teasing). You weren’t as discreet with your staring now. Why would you be? The cat was out of the bag, and you had a pending date with the person who opened it.

Dustin, who sported a shit-eating grin, remarked how Eddie could drive you around until your car was fixed. You realized that the little shit had orchestrated the whole thing. Not the car breaking down, but you and Eddie going together. You weren’t complaining, though.

A week or so later and the date came. When Eddie picked you up, you asked if you could play some music. In the glovebox where he kept all his cassettes and CDs was a mixtape with a song you knew all too well.

If you couldn’t guess, it was Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. Yeah, you aren’t letting that one go anytime soon.

#this is my year for new characters #chaos-is-beautifvl #chaos.writes 🖋#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader

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yippeebeast · 2 months

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PSA: NEVER!!! ASK A FEM LESBIAN FASHION ADVICE UNLESS YOU WANT AN ESSAY

so im planning to dye my hair soon, so i got in contact with my older sister (who well call KT, she dues her hair A LOT) to ask her about a specific brand i wanted to use (if shes used it, if she knows anybody whos used it, what her/their experience with it was like, does she recommend it), what brands does she recommend and what tips and advice she has for me.

now dont get me wrong, i am forever grateful for her to go so extremely in depth, but i find it so funny bc like

i was expecting like "oh i recommend x and you should probably put vaseline on your ears/skin near your hair so it doesnt stain" and she just-

ill just copy paste what she wrote:

"I use lunar tides hair dye - I don't think I know anyone who uses the good dye young. I've used splat, manic panic, and arctic Fox before, I did not like either of those. Lunar tides also sells dye brushes, which are useful. Most colors will also look nicer if you tone your hair, lunar tides sells a toner that works well.

Getting good bleach is really important to prevent your hair from getting fried- the only two I would recommend are Guy Tang Mydentity Big Nine with the matching 20vol developer or Scharzkopf Blondeme with the matching 20vol developer. I like the guy Tang one better, but it's not always available on Amazon while you can always buy Blondeme. They are both a bit expensive, but you can use them for touchups for another 18 months (so per use it should end up around the same as the cheap single-use options, and it's definitely cheaper than going somewhere to do it)

Good aftercare is also important to help prevent your hair from getting overly damaged. Everyone's hair has slightly different needs, but I really like hask products (and they aren't too expensive). I use their rose oil and peach shampoo, for conditioner I make a mix of about 75% hask rose oil and peach conditioner, 20% either hask argan oil deep conditioner or rose oil and peach deep conditioner, and then 5% of the dye+toner I use to keep my color fresh, and then when my hair is about 90% dry after showering I put in hask repairing argan oil

For actually doing it: I usually do it over the weekend, and take 2-3 days to finish. first gather everything. You will need

-some sort of plastic container

-a plastic fork or small whisk

-plastic alligator clips

-gloves

-trash bags

-Vaseline

-bleach and developer

-hair dye and toner

Either wear clothes you don't mind ruining or do it in the bathroom naked. Cut holes in a trash bag to wear as a poncho, and cut open a few more to protect the area around you. Put Vaseline around your hairline and on your ears to protect yourself from the bleach. Section your hair off with the clips, I usually put all of the top of my hair in one clip, clip forward each side from the back of my ears, and then one side in the back (I can draw a diagram). At this point you can mix the bleach following the instructions on the packaging using the plastic container and plastic fork/whisk.

It's obviously easier to bleach the back of the head with help, but it's possible to do it by yourself. Before your start, set a timer for the lowest amount of time the bleach instructions say to process AND a timer for half that time. I work in vertical sections about 1/2 inch thick starting from the back unclipped side forward to the ears, making sure to use the brush to apply the bleach evenly from about 1/2 inch from the scalp to the end of the unbleached section (for you, all the hair, which will make it easier), when the bleach is brushed on I will also rub it into my hair a bit with my (gloved) hands. Repeat the process on the other side of the back, and then both side sections. On the top put all the hair on one side, and then bleach it and move it over 1/2 inch at a time. If your first timer goes off before you finish stop what you are doing and wait for the first section of bleach to finish processing before you continue, otherwise you will either not bleach part of your hair enough or make part of your hair fall out, or both. After the second timer goes off look at the most recently bleached section to see if it's light yellow (level 9 or 10) by moving some of the bleach out of the way, if it's not wait 5 minutes and check again up until it's either light enough or you reach the maximum processing time on the instructions. Wash the bleach out and let it dry, if you didn't bleach your whole head the first round wait for your hair to mostly dry and then continue where you left off.

When your whole head is bleached you can either tone (recommended) or go right into dying. Most bright hair dye are "semi permanent," which means they are basically just conditioners with a lot of pigment in them. They can be left in much longer than the instructions say, but the longer they are left in the stronger the color will be. I usually leave my toner in about 2x the amount of time recommended in the instructions, which makes my hair light purple instead of white. I usually leave my dye in for several hours, which leaves my hair a VERY intense pink, which leaves more room for it to fade while still looking nice. These dyes also usually have conditioning ingredients, so leaving them in for a while usually leaves your hair nice and soft after the bleaching.

After my hair is dyed I usually wash my hair 2x a week, but since you are still a teenager you should probably be washing your hair more often. On the weekends I take a long bath, and will sit with my tinted conditioner for about 45 minutes so it can really keep my hair fresh

Also I usually use like 12 oz of hair dye for all my hair, and about 10oz of bleach for my roots. Your hair is definitely longer than mine, and you definitely have more hair to bleach than my roots, so prepare for that. You will likely need to buy more than one jar of whatever dye you get, and if you get those single packs of black you will probably need at least 4 (learned that the hard way the first time I bleached my hair, my friend went to CVS when I was half bleached to get some more cheap stuff and it took a while to grow out the damage it left)"

so yeah if anybody needed a full length tut on how to dye your hair, KTs the girl to go to

#hair #hair dye #dyed hair #psa

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sheliesshattered · 5 months

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I've been dealing with a little bit of a cold this last week on top of the normal spoonie-ness, so it was slow going on my most recent sewing project -- the hooded wrap, not quite a cape, not quite a shawl, definitely not a scarf, definitely not a robe thing -- which Jack says I need a better name for lol -- but with pacing and slow incremental progress, I was actually able to finish it in pretty good time.

Ironing and pinning the very long hem was the most time consuming part, but pacing myself actually allowed me to slow down and handsew all the corners into place before I put it through the sewing machine, which resulted in much crisper edges than I would have had if I was rushing to finish it. This time last week I wasn't sure if I would be able to machine sew the hem, but I actually like the look of the top stitching it produces, so I went with what was both easier and nicer looking. After all the ironing and pinning it took me nearly an hour to sew the whole thing in the machine, inching along to keep my lines straight and remove all those pins, so I don't even want to think about how long it would have taken me to handsew it, lol.

I did french seams on all the seams, since they may be seen from the outside, and turned the hem under twice at about the same width for a nice crisp matching look. The resulting hooded thing is soft and cozy and moderately warm, and can be worn a bunch of different ways, which is fun.

With the hood down and the wrap bits left to hang straight down, it's got nearly Jedi robe vibes:

One of the wraps tossed over the shoulder creates nice asymmetry:

But with both of the wraps up on the shoulder and the hood up, it's got a different feel entirely:

The fabric is a brushed cotton herringbone that grips itself reasonably well, so once the wraps are tossed over the shoulders they stay put pretty well. From the side view you can see how it just drapes nicely down the back:

And when they're tossed over the shoulders like that, the finished ends are similar in length to the center back point:

With the wraps unfolded and left long in the front, the back panel is much more visible. There's no shoulder seam at all -- the wraps just continue up over the shoulder and meet at a 45 degree angle in the back:

I was careful when I cut out the pieces and when I pinned both parts of the french seam, so that I could line up the herringbone weave neatly and get these cool chevrons at the center back:

The length in the back is enough for it to feel a bit like a cape, but not in a huge dramatic way or anything -- and Disney generally frowns on large capes and robes for Batuu Bounding, from what I've heard. But with this length I feel like my back and shoulders are covered, but the longest bit of the center back isn't so long that I actually sit on it. I wore it out of the house this weekend and was comfortable both wearing it in the car and walking around an outdoor flea market.

I have about seven yards left of this fabric, so at some point here I'm going to make a Norse-inspired apron dress out of the rest of it, to go over the fleece dress seen in the photos, which I sewed last month, and to go over lighter underdresses in the spring, and possibly on its own in the summer. I like the idea of this hood matching that apron dress, and I did draw some inspiration for Norse/viking hoods with pointed capelets in front and back, too. Not at all historically accurate, but historically-inspired, like the fleece dress.

But really my brain is all about Star Wars right now, and the Batuu Bounding for our trip to Disneyland coming up in about six weeks. The hooded wrap has a very different vibe with big boots and leather-look leggings and a fitted vest and various Star Wars-y accessories. My nb sibling described this hooded thing as 'what Luke Skywalker would wear if he was a crow witch' -- and as an irl crow witch and a non-affiliated gray Force user in my silly Star Wars OC building, I can certainly live with that, lol.

I have a few detail things for my Batuu Bounding outfit that I still want to work on, but generally I'm really happy with how it's coming together. Next up, I'm going to switch gears and work on some details to spruce up Jack's jacket for our outing, now that we've got the base-layer pieces for him figured out too. Pictures of that (and my outfit) as they start to come together.

Six weeks isn't a ton of time to get costuming pieces done in, especially without pushing myself too hard, but I also feel like both of our outfits are good to go the way they are right now. It's just, they could be cooler looking with a little more time and effort. And hey, I'm having fun with the process and it's keeping me from vibrating in place and rewatching every Star Wars movie and tv show over and over again while I count down to my birthday, lol.

#my sewing #hooded wrap #Batuu Bounding #Star Wars bounding #Disenybounding #2024 mood #long post #I am stupidly excited about this whole thing

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pbandjesse · 5 months

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I am feeling just slightly stressed out. I think I am just very tired. I am feeling better but I am just exhausted.

It was a pretty good day. I slept alright. And woke up feeling fine. Getting up was hard. But I got myself together and James made the bed and gave me my lunch and offered to carry my drinks to the car but I was alright. I just wanted to leave with them.

I was surprised that the car had frost all over it. I didn't want to scrap it off the glass so I waited for the car to warm up and watched James bike off. I didn't have to wait long.

It was a fine drive to camp. I don't know why but I did not wear my puffer jacket and I was very cold outside even with a sweater and a fleece. I would be inside for the majority of the day though and would be fairly comfortable.

I drove up to arts first to drop off all my large stuffed animals. Some will probably still come home but for now at least they have a safe place to be. Once those were put away I went back down to the office.

I could see over at the nurse's office there were some work trucks. I wasn't sure what part they were working on but they were doing something.

When I got to the office I microwaved my breakfast and set myself up. I drew the card for my neighbor's. I wrote out some well wishes and told them I was sorry I couldn't do more. It was nice to draw. I was in a drawing mood.

I would actually do some more prep work for my daily sticker project. Just getting some early work done so if I fall behind I will have something to fall back on. Especially since everything is so busy right now. And it's only going to get worse. Not at work but in life. And it was nice to work on the style I'm going for.

As I was drawing I saw the men from the nurses office walk over. They came in the office and said they needed the nurse key and that they would be back to work in the basement. They were very nice. I texted our office group chat and told them we had men in the basement. Which is the most ominous way to say that. But it was true!

Eventually everyone else came in. I told them about the detectives coming to my house. And the card I wrote. I had James print that to give to the neighbors and apparently Jessica thought it was incredibly sweet. I'm glad no one thinks it's weird. I just felt like it was the least I could do.

It would be a nice day. I would have emails to write and some things to create for sending interest emails out for staff. Me and Sarah would also do a bunch of research to find vendors to email about possibly being a part of our music festival. That took a surprisingly long time because we had to find emails and not everyone made that easy!!

I did get a lot of reading done today too. I finished my book about the 1793 yellow fever endemic. It was very interesting and honestly while it was sad it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. There was some hope at the end. I do wish they did an epilog like the Dear America ones do but that's okay. I still enjoyed it.

The day would go pretty fast. At one point Dad asked me to call and we discussed some house stuff. And he asked if I could try installing zippers in some of his pants. I can sure try! He's sending them with Mom tomorrow. And I will do my best to get that done ASAP. It was also just nice to talk to him. He sounded healthy. And he's really proud of us about the house and that feels good.

I am a little stressed though because Jennifer, the loan processor, asked for some information from me but when I followed up with what I think is what she's asking for she didn't say anything! I wish she would send confirmation emails but she didn't with the last documents either and it just stresses me so bad. Especially on a holiday weekend. Like girl. Please just tell me this is what you need so we aren't going to have to push back the closing. James thinks it was the correct info though so fingers crossed I guess.

I am excited though. Like it's happening. That's so cool. I'm going to miss this apartment a lot but this is new! This is going to be great! And if I keep that energy it will be true even if it is hard.

The end of the day came pretty fast. I was ready to get out of there, mainly because I was excited to go hang out with Callie. I said goodbye to everyone and they reminded me that MLK day is Monday. But I already don't work on Mondays so it didn't matter to much. But I hope they all enjoy the extra day and I'll see them Tuesday.

On my drive my blood sugar felt incredibly low. My hands started shaking. I sent Callie a text I would need to run to the grocery store to grab a piece of a pizza. And she was totally cool about it. I just couldn't think and needed food immediately.

As soon as I parked I saw her and we walked over and I quickly got my pizza and basically inhaled it. I was actually able to talk and focus once I ate and I was slightly embarrassed that I got that bad. But she was cool about it and she filled the air while I couldn't talk.

We went over to amazing glaze and I finished eating my pizza and we decided what to paint. She picked a tiny trinket dish and I got a pasta bowl/plate. I have done this shape before buts its one I go for at home a lot so it seemed right.

And I had so much fun painting. She filled me in about school. I filled her in about the house. She painted a bunny and I painted a bedroom with little beads all tucked in. I impressed the workers which is all I'm ever trying to do. And while we were there for 2 hours, and I for sure could have been there longer, I am super proud of my piece.

I really enjoyed Callie's company. We talked about camp and life and she offered to help us move because she's great. And I had a very good time.

We finished up a little after 630. Just as the rain started. We hugged and said goodbye. And it really felt like we left at the perfect time because right after I got home the storm picked up and got very heavy and very windy. I was happy to be home.

But I was in a weird mood. While me and Callie were painting I texted James something time sensitive and they didn't answer me. It was going in 40 minutes and I finally called them and asked them to answer my texts and I hate the this is something we continue to struggle with. It's literally the only thing in our relationship that makes me angry. And it's because it makes me feel like I can't call them in an emergency. And it upsets me really bad. And they felt terrible but it doesn't fix it. And I just want them to try to be better.

So my mood was sour but I'm sure I also was just tired and it made things feel worse. James did tell me they knocked on our neighbor's door and gave them my card and apparently she was super grateful and told James if I didn't call her husband could have died. And I am horrified that it was that bad. I am glad that he's home. I'm glad I was able to help. I still wish I could have done more.

James was in the kitchen doing something for a long time. I opened the mail and texted my mom about tomorrow. I'm really excited to have her and my aunt visit. I just have to be well rested for it!!

I took a shower. I was hurting a bit. My lip has been doing better and I didn't wear a bandaid today. But then I hit the wound with the zipper of my fleece and it hurt so deeply and continued to hurt for hours. Cleaning it in the shower also hurt but I am still trying to baby it. It's getting better but it's still split. At least it's not as swollen.

I am in bed now. And I am very very ready to sleep. We are going to have a long day tomorrow.

Mom and aunt Nadine will be here for brunch. And then we are going to the visionary museum. And I'm really hoping for a good day. I hope you all sleep well and have a nice day tomorrow. Be careful in the heavy winds. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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recurring-polynya · 1 year

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Writing Update/Art Update 5/9/2023

Many things happened last week. Not very many of them were drawing. I'll get back to that.

I have finally started posting the big (it's not really big. Medium-big. It just felt big) fanfic that I have working on for most of the year. You can start here if you want to read it, Chapters 1-3 are currently available.

I finished the smut. I had mostly finished it by Friday, but then we had a belated-because-we-were-waiting-for-spring-weather backyard birthday party for my daughter this past weekend, so I had to spend a solid 48 hours in the paralyzing deathgrip of anxiety at the prospect of socializing with people I don't know (the parents of some of my daughter's classmates), so I didn't get much of anything else done, although I did clean my house and buy a bunch of hot dogs.

I only got one doodle done this week, which took me three days, spread out over the anxiety deathgrip, but I'm pretty pleased with how it came out. I really would like to start on a more serious project this week, but I may get back to them, we'll see how it goes. I do want to thank everyone who sent in prompts, and I'm sorry I haven't gotten to more of them. Turns out I'm real bad at doing quick, fast-turnaround doodles! Is anyone surprised??

After that, like, I said, I finished up the porno. I was hoping to post it yesterday, but it was pretty late at night by the time I finished my editing sweep. Today was a go places posting day and I didn't really want to post two different fanfics in one day, plus I had made kind of a lot of edits, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to let it sit a day and then do another sweep before posting. In other words, tomorrow, probably.

This morning, I re-read what I've gotten written so far of Ductwork, which is the working title of the next story in the Heart is a Muscle. It's 7707 words at the moment, and I get hot mad every time I read it because I want there to be more of it, and unfortunately, there is only one way to make that happen. But it's gonna!! I keep telling myself that it was really worthwhile to have taken the time to write go places first, because Ductwork is largely about Rukia and Renji finally digging down into a lot of festering insecurities from that time in their afterlives. I have a couple different approaches to writing these days, and I'm gonna try to do the thing that ended up working for go places, which is 1) try to write something every day, 2) chronological schmonological, write whatever I can possibily come up with, I'll just cram it all together at the end, this was very fun and easy last time and definitely did not take six drafts and a color-coded spreadsheet. Based on past experience, I do not think I am going to be able to power through to completion, so my goal is to add at least 20k words to the thing before I flame out in a blaze of beautiful depression and spend the rest of the summer on something insane, like bringing back the Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU. My overall prediction is that it will be around 60k, but I'm not discounting the possibility that it could be another 100k-er. (it better not go over 120k tho, I will die for real)

Anyway, that was my week! Whew!

#writing update #art update

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mundanemiseries · 7 months

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@kinglyisms :

( Casimir and Koko from the soulmate prompt ) The strange guy who knocked him down the stairs (or did he knock himself?) kept coming back. Casimir was trying hard to understand, since they don’t seem overly interested in the books and just keep sitting closer and closer toward him. Casimir himself bounces around the library a lot, either as a male or female depending on the day, taking care of everything. He’s a Professor for History and Emotional Stability, so he teaches those classes Monday through Friday, and then after class hours he’s the only librarian on shift typically. On weekends, he holds a reading circle for the little ones. Casimir is a very busy person, he doesn’t really have time to deal with a strange person who just keeps coming around. Keeps showing back up at the library. Casimir had gone to the bar last night, had a drink, sex to feed and he’s feeling at least a bit more calm about it. But his body kept itching, like he wanted to have the stranger under his skin and it was driving him a bit insane. He pushes it off, tries to ignore it, but when he can feel the man watching him–it’s just a bit unsettling. The children love Casimir, they keep coming up to him, talking and playing with him. They give him gifts, pictures they draw and little things they make. Casimir loves them, with everything he has. It doesn’t even bother him when one of the kids throws up on him. He just brushes it off and moves about his day. The man is there the entire time, watching and seeming to listen. He wonders how they possibly find it interesting at all. He finishes helping one of the little ones settle, getting them comfortable at a reading corner with a book he knows they’ll like. As they settle down to read he makes his way over toward the table where the stranger was sitting at. Today he was male, he had a pair of worn jeans and a button up dress shirt on. He threw an old pink cardigan on over that, to keep warm. He was an incubus, he liked to be warm, comfortable. A chair is grabbed and yanked over to the table and Casimir sits down near the man watching him. “Hi. Casimir. I nearly threw you down a set of stairs last week.” He greets, being as polite as he can. “You’ve been here a lot. Can I help you?”

[ unprompted | always accepting ]

Kokabiel was never one to put much stock into the idea of soulmates. His mother had told him of it when he was young when he had first noticed the name appear beneath his right collarbone. An old Earth concept, one mainly taken as fiction in his time, if it was remembered at all. He...was never sure what to think of it, especially when the name was written in a language long, long dead.

So it was mainly forgotten, swept aside by everything that had transpired since the jump failed. Even now, in the relative peace that's fallen over his life, now in a time where the name etched into his skin was in a language that saw regular use, it was a passing thought at best in the man's mind.

Still...since that first visit to this library, he found himself coming back here. Managing to find time to hole himself up there, quietly taking in and taking notes on what he could of this day and age, information he only could've dreamed of having as a child.

And...oddly enough time spent just....silently observing a specific individual in the library. A draw to the other he couldn't hope to put his finger on, an itch just under the skin below his collarbone where void refused to touch.

His own notes had long since turned into unrelated sketches and doodles as he quietly observed the other, the stranger's interactions with the children drawing forth his own childhood memories, almost ancient feeling to him, of before everything went to hell.

It was only the sound of another chair at the table he was sat at that pulled him out of his almost painfully nostalgic train of thought, brick red gaze face to face with the exact person he's been quietly watching the past week.

❝ ...um...Kokabiel. 's...'s good t' meet you...uh...properly, I mean. 'pologies for knockin' ya over like that before, by the way. ❞

Hands awkwardly fidgeted with the pen in his grasp as he spoke, not entirely sure how to speak to the guy he's been watching all this time without coming off strange. The void only knew he already was probably at least a bit of a weirdo right now as it was. Not when speaking outside his own little circle was something Koko was wholly unused to. Not when getting asked if he needed anything was just...not a thing that happened.

The...vague sense of familiarity behind the other's name wasn't helping in easing his nerves.

❝ I....Nothin' in particular, really. Though....I apologize if my repeated presence here's been any sorta disruption t' anyone. ❞

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the25thviolence · 1 year

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Writer Interview Thing

So this weekend I--- Lets roll this back a tad. So the beginning of this week I got super motivated to be creative but I work 4 day weeks of 10 hour shifts. So I didn’t really time to do anything till now. I want to finish 3 bits of writing this weekend and this is one of them.

1. When did you start writing?

Actually writing in this form? I’m not sure honestly. I remember as like a teen writing poetry a little and writing my mom like a nice mothers day poem I made up. She was convinced I took it from somewhere.

Early writing was based on just too many feelings and or emotions inside of me and just needing a release. Writing after that was because I could write to someone I cared about. Which led to the early stages of this kind of writing.

I actually pushed more into this because way back in the day when people rode around on dinosaurs a guy found some of my very first stories on a blog website. He thought they were funny which is why some of my stories are the way they are today. He also hosted my original website and writing for a few years back than.

2. Favorite story you’ve written?

As the person who picked most these questions I don’t know why I fucking picked this one.

I’m not sure, I really enjoyed writing the Summer Time Madness part with (Captain) Sean and the Kraken. I have a huge soft spot for any part of a story where I use the ocean as symbolism for washing someone away.

3. Favorite character?

I don’t think I remember all my characters to be honest. It would be an insult to my own creation to not say Sean and the Girl/Princess/Ashley. They’ve been in my head for over a decade now.

Currently I really do enjoy Claire and the Baristas though.

4. Best hidden message in a story you’ve written?

Hidden seems to be an abstract thought to me. When I feel something is hidden it is apparently very obvious. And when I feel something is obvious it is not noticed at all. I think for now my favorite hidden.... You know I haven’t really fleshed this part out, written it, or come to a concrete thought on the matter. But a certain character mite have connections to the girl from the star character from a very old story of mine. Well Claire mite have that connection. I’m not sure yet. But the stars themselves mite be coming back to my stories.

5. Why so many spelling and grammer errors?

Short, because I can.

Long, hmmmm. I didn’t like grow up smart. I didn’t really start reading till like the 4th grade but than by the 5th grade I was devouring books. Do to many personal issues in life (people dying and being extremely poor etc) I didn’t really try to do anything in school. I graduated high school with one of the lowest possible GPAs because I thought I was going work at mcdonalds after I graduated. Turns out I was so poor the government gave me money for college and I was able to attend community college and get an associates for free because of that. The only and most depressing silver lining to having a parent die when your 12 years old.

Basically I have no real education on the matter of writing.

Also I can’t draw for shit.

I can’t sing or make music for shit.

I can’t paint.

I can write, anyone can write. I view writing much like someone would view painting. Each word but a stroke on the canvas. And every error or mistake but a drop of paint misplaced. Now apart of something greater and beyond my control.

I know its wrong but I heavily prefer my writing be a one shot. Written once and released into the world. I have slowly, very slowly, come to terms with editing and proof reading and all that nerd shit. Its a process I am still heavily refusing to this day.

Yes, grammer is spelt wrong on purpose you heathens.

6. Any sneak peaks or future plans for writing?

Hmm

If the Moon can be apart of the story.

A vessel of power.

A weapon.

A dramatic bit of symbolism.

What of the sun than?

7. Can you explain “The Void” and “Post Void”?

Many parts of my life have shoved there whole hand into my chest and squeezed. Every time it happens it feels worse than the time before. I would call my high school years a void and everything after a post void. I would call some years after losing someone I cared about in my twenties a void than post void. And this rehash of loving people and losing people another void than post void. Depression is crippling. Depression has ruined every single tooth inside my mouth. To the scars on my body to the tattoo on my wrist.

Simply a void is when life wraps its cold star ridden hands around my neck and holds me still till I either die or stand back up.

And post void is everything that happens after. Consequences and all. Standing back up always comes at a price and I pay it greedily each time.

8. Does anyone in your family know that you write?

No? I guess some know I scribbled at one point as a hobby. But no one for sure knows about Once Was A Stranger.

If anyone is curious as to why. I don’t trust my family with the deep bits of my existence. As the youngest of 6 kids nothing I do will ever have a strong meaning.

9. “Why am I not a main character?”

I can’t tell if this a question from my good friend twchh or from Sean himself. Sir, I could never capture your essence in simple words. God could give me the canopy of the night sky and I still wouldn’t be able to put you into mere words with all that space.

10. “How much of Once Was A Stranger is actually inspired by/based on reality and how much of it is me misreading it as that.”

Warning: A friend/peer/tortured proof reader asked me this question so I up chucked a metric ton of words on the subject. This is the last question here and its full of non-organized words.

This is going to be a really really really long answer and I will try my best to make it as coherent as possible. I’ve reread this story multiple times to better answer this.

Its so hard to explain everything without shoving 86 links with 86 different stories down your throat. Once Was A Stranger was every bit of writing I ever tried to write in my life. I was finally able to reign in my scatter brain and write a complete story in the style I desired. I have some small regrets still on some parts. I had really big expectations for the market scene where the Stranger gives his big speech. I tried for a really long time to write that part and just couldn’t do it. Which is why the scene is so.... off center and cuts off. It works just well enough to fit its role in the story but I wanted so much more from that section of the story.

I am already off track.

I’ll start with the characters.

Sean

Sean for all intensive purposes is my first character. Like my first character ever. Sean is a major carry over from my first stories I’ve written. Why the name? Because I liked it. Sometimes it reminds me of the Shawn meme from that one video game (SHAWN!). Sean’s shtick is that he was a thought, a happy little day dream, a fantasy trapped in some girls head. And he was used by the girl to make herself happy. But one day he started slowly growing free will and becoming alive. He would turn against the girl in her dreams trying to escape. The girl would often “reset” him back to a basic little fantasy but suddenly it didn’t work. I never finished this story, I knew how it was going to end, but I never finished it.

Princess

Princess is just the---the girl---every single girl from every story. Most precisely the girl from Beads that used Sean as an escape inside her own head. I used to know a person a lifetime ago. A very very very long lifetime ago. This character was based off of them and the relationship I had with them.

Jim

Now this one is funny. While rereading the story I didn’t realize that this mite be read as a problematic name for people who knew me. I’m not sure if this was a separate story or a part of Beads (Beads was my first too much for me to handle large scale failed story attempt).

But Jim is named after an old one off character. His full name was Jim the goldfish. Jim the goldfish lived on an alien planet full of goldfish. Jim’s wife left him and he was drafted into the army to fight in non copyright infringing battle suits (much like gundams but totally not gundams). In this story the ruling class, the Kardashians (yes, those ones) were battling revolutionaries to keep there power. They got this power by abusing the exchange rates between there planet and earth. And they used that money to get amazing plastic surgery and become famous on earth. The “Sean” character, a guy in a pair of white nikes drifting thru space (was and still am a huge kid cudi fan) was drifting past this scene in the story.

Stranger

Once Was A Stranger. Not much in the story really takes inspiration from my life till the end. But the title. The act of writing this story. The life I breathed into it and the immortal bit of lightning it threw back at me. The title is very strongly based on events from my life. Thus he was titled. For he was a stranger. Much like myself.

List of all the references:

Stars: I have a great personal desire to escape life, all of it. And stars are about as far away as you can get. I once wrote a story about a fallen star who met a strange boy. Boy and girl. Sean and princess, etc. Boy obviously had problems at home. Girl was a star exploding with life not wanting to go back to the night sky. Not that bad of a story I think this still exists and is readable somewhere.

Succulent plants: A small reference to a person someone tried to make me friends with and the interaction of wanting to own plants but not being capable of keeping them alive so they were suggested to me. I thought they best fit the character for this story. Kind of like a foreshadow to Jim having a darker bit of torment inside of him.

The Actual Moon

Honestly, I have no real clue. I wanted something great to destroy. I have more to explore and write about in future stories so I won’t get into too much detail. Big kid cudi fan (man on the moon). Its in space and away from here. Big and bright and in the sky. Also completely crazy concept to try and fight it.

King/Princess/Royalty

The girl is referred to as Princess as like an emotional show of importance. The way the girl from the star story was a star. And in that same story her father was the morning star always searching for her till the last moment each morning. The princess had a king. Someone of authority who did not like the stranger. What? A girl with a father who didn’t like the boy. Crazy. That’s totally never happened to anyone before.

The napkins in the end scene.

Unicorn/Bear/Mysterious monster

These are all references to old bit of writing pieces or short stories I’ve written. Sean even notes his white sneakers aka the white nikes story. And this is all a deeper reference to the fact all those stories have long been deleted. I had a...

I had a.

A blackhole void consumed my life.

An irl friend had to come grab me out my house one day to make me move.

I deleted almost every single part of my online presence because of that.

Many references in Once Was A Stranger are from long deleted stories. I think I wanted to acknowledge them and pay my respects even though I was the one that deleted those stories.

Repeated phrases/bits

Because I find them entertaining and this was my story. The telling time by the stars or sun. Repeated phrases. Etc etc etc. My favorite part of Once Was A Stranger was slightly noting the writer was apparent to the characters. It wasn’t breaking the 4th wall in my opinion because the writer, myself, was in fact also a character in this story.

Sliding between Sean and Jim and different parts of the story

This was a major shoutout to Beads and to what that story could of been if I was a better writer at the time. To make it seem like the Princess was trapped between stories. A turn on the original Beads where Sean was strapped between stories.

Sean/Jim

Were they the same? Different sides of the same coin. Not to spoil future stories yet to be written too much. They represented the split between my long time main character. I’m not sure if there any really parallels between nice Jim becoming angry and angry Sean becoming nice. I think I was in too deep of an emotional space at the time of writing to really know.

Baristas

I have no idea. That just sprouted in my brain. They became apart of the story than proceeded to get there own “spinoff” story.

Late game writing

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yep

You read these parts

I guess I should spell this out.

Knife.

The void

This all hurts to talk about honestly.

I’ve been kicking the words for this around in my head lately. Hoping to write something that would relieve the pain a little.

I was in love with someone. It was unrequited. And it caused a forest of stars to sprout and take root in my heart. And it made someone very very very close to me hate me. Hate me so much. It felt like they stabbed me in my chest with a knife. Trying to kill the forest of stars inside my heart. To kill that love. That unrequited love. A deep bit of selfishness shared all around. All because we loved the same person.

As far as the story is concerned. Sean, The Stranger, twisted and turned. And now the knife was in there hand. New name and all.

The Ocean

As far back as Beads I have always used the ocean as a way to cleanse. Clean. Restart. Change. Give birth to. The ocean is as much life as it is monstrous and uncontrollable. The ocean cleansed this story and gave a rebirth to the boy and the girl. Or a death. They walked purposely into the open arms of the ocean.

Ashley

This is the shortest answer. Big fan of Halsey.

I’m not very good at putting things in order. Jesus H Christ that much is obvious. I hope they shined random bits of light on some things.

This is the end of this bit of writing. And I am completely open to follow up questions. I know only one person mite have them but you know how to contact me and scream insanity into my ear.

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hisadoringkitten · 10 days

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I can't stop replaying last weekend over and over in my head... so much of it is a blur, but I'll do my best.

I was so nervous when you came to pick me up but incredibly excited as well. It felt like forever since we we're together a month ago. We loaded up your car with my things, most of them, anyway. It started to feel real... I don't know why it made me more nervous, but it did. In an effort to avoid drama, you left until he was home from work. Funny, because he didn't come all the way home after work, he stayed close until we were gone for the same reason. We got on the road and talked excitedly for a while, I wanted so badly to touch you, kiss you... you were a bit reserved. It worried me. I didn't know what to expect.

A few hours after we left, middle of the night, middle of nowhere you allowed me to feel you, to touch and play with your cock while you drove... your car isn't exactly set up well for it but we made do. After a bit you pulled over, told me to stay put, walked around to my side and opened my door. You told me to get out and I obeyed. You freed your cock and leaned back against the car, told me to please you, there on the side of the road. I couldn't wait to comply. I wanted so badly to make you cum then and there but you didn't allow it to go that far. I admit I was disappointed when you told me to stop. My mind was reeling as we got back in the car and on the road. You can be very hard to read.

Not long after, we reached our destination, and you were so excited to show me my new home. We drove around, showing me the town at night, it was so quiet and peaceful. We went to our airbnb but you had mistakenly booked it for the next night, so we got a hotel instead. I could tell how frustrated you were and tired, it was already past 24 hours since you had slept and I wasn't sure you'd want much more than sleep but we got into the room, set down our stuff and you invited me to join you in the shower.

My heart pounded in my chest. It was the first time we'd seen each other naked, and I was very self-concious. You're the only person I've ever met who likes your shower even hotter than I do. I washed you carefully and quickly, I wanted to draw it out and linger there, but I wanted so much more, and I could see you fading. We dried and climbed into bed, forgoing the outfit I brought for that night. I touched and kissed my way down your body, desperate to finish what I started, wanting you so badly. I wanted you inside me. I sucked and teased you, you got so hard and fuck are you big. You grabbed a condom and told me to fuck myself with your cock. My breath rushed out of me as you stretched me wide, taking every inch, I was so wet and ready for you. I rode you, grinding you deep inside me, and came at your first command to do so. You held my hips and slammed into me over and over, I came again, so hard it made me dizzy.

After a moment to recover, realizing you hadn't cum and were pulling the condom off, I went back to sucking you, this we had figured out last time, you told me how you like it and I knew how to please you. You guided me through getting you off, I love the taste of you, the sounds you make, the way you talk me through it, your fingers laced into my hair. I swallowed you down and kissed and caressed your body, basking in your glory and the afterglow, but you growled that you weren't done with me and guided me back. I've only ever heard of men capable of multiple orgasms without going soft between, I had no idea you were among them or that it was even possible, I thought it was a myth, to be honest, but I'll be damned... you didn't lose one bit and came again, this time more intensely... your legs trembled and tensed, the growl you let out as you came again down my throat sent chills down my spine. I stared up at you in awe, drawing out every last drop. Another shower, and we went to sleep.

Wrapped up in you, our legs entwined, my head on your chest and your powerful arms wrapped around me, I drifted off, marveling at you, at us. I woke a few hours later, before your alarm and debated letting you sleep but I couldn't help but reach down, finding your cock already hard and as I fondled it in your sleep, drawing out your precum, I wanted to taste you again. You rolled over, and I couldn't wait to suck your perfect cock again. I've never been as into it as I am with you.

You stopped me after a bit, still groggy and pulled on a condom but it took a while to find our rhythm. We struggled to keep you hard enough to fuck me for a while and I'll admit, it got to me, it still does. I can suck you off without issue, but when it comes to sex, I don't seem to cut it for you. I know I'm not the tightest, and I'm far from particularly attractive... I wish I knew how to make it better. We figured it out and I came marvelously but knowing I can't seem to make you cum that way makes me feel so disappointed in myself. It's played over and over in my head.

I sucked you off again, and we laid there a few moments, my mind racing and torn. You pulled out some oil and massaged my back. It was loving and sweet, but the tone shifted to one of dominance, your fingers digging into me roughly, and my mind began to settle. When you pulled out your belt, my heart raced. It's been so long. I was still feeling conflicted... worried that this was, I don't know, out of some sense of obligation. The first few licks with your belt were intense, my headspace was torn, and my body so out of practice, I wanted more, wanted your intensity, but I could tell you were holding back. A lot. I don't know. It scares me sometimes that you're so reserved, distant. We played that way for a bit, but you seemed... not into it. I was disappointed in myself for struggling to take such minor pain, I don't know if it was being in my own head or nervous or fear of disappointing you, I didn't feel in synch with you and I worry we'll struggle to find our rhythm.

I sucked you off for a 4th time in a handful of hours, I'm genuinely impressed with your stamina and that... you let go when I'm sucking your cock. You're with me, fully in those moments. I relish them, but the difference isn't something I understand how to process. Another shower, and we got ready to go. You were so excited to show me the town... much more so than you were being with me in the hotel. I knew we had things to do and see, but I wish that excitement had shown for the few hours of intimacy we had.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for it all and had a wonderful weekend, and honestly, I'm hesitant to even write some of this. But I promised honesty. I feel like our sexy banter has ground to a halt and I'm weary to initiate because it feels like something shifted, like you're losing interest in me sexually already and I'm not even there yet, it's not even really begun. Maybe I disappointed you, didn't live up to your expectations, maybe you're holding back until im there, I don't know. Most of the trip you seemed open to my touch but uninterested in touching me. I don't want to push things but I don't understand either and I don't know how to start that conversation with you but it scares me, has me second-guessing myself and is crumbling the little bit of confidence I've clawed together.

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harrogaterailwayladies · 4 months

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Devs Captain Elaine Bennett Talks About The Season So Far.

The Harrogate Railway Ladies first team had a free weekend so no game this week (28/01/24) but the remaining teams turned out in style with three wins out of three games for the Reserves, Under 18s and Devs!

The newest Ladies Development team held up their part with a 1-0 win over Collingham Junior Women FC in the newly formed Harrogate Beginners League. This weekend brings their season tally to five wins, three draws and one loss in their nine games leaving them sat in 2nd place. We are all so proud of the team for this phenomenal effort in their first ever season!

We caught up with Elaine Bennett - Captain of the Devs to tell us more about their impressive season.

"Hello Elaine, the Devs have had an amazing run of results since they formed in the Summer, can you tell us a bit about the squad and how you've enjoyed the season so far?"

"The squad is made up of a mixed bag of ability and football experience. I recall in the summer most turning up saying they have never kicked a ball, other's turned up saying they used to kick a ball but haven't in years and some turned up thinking you could catch the ball from a throw in.

It doesn't matter to us the ability or experience, what matters is turning up and giving it a go. Seeing what happens and growing as a team together, regardless of ability. Personally I have loved being part of the squad and seeing others grow and develop as well as myself, people beginning to believe in themselves has been truely humbling to be part of.

They really are a great bunch, every single one of them.

I enjoyed our undefeated streak, which sadly came to an end, as all good things do but great to bounce back with a win this weekend. We learn and we grow as a squad and a community who want to win the league at some point.

I'm looking forward to seeing where we finish and we aim for as close to the top as possible."

"The new beginners league in Harrogate was set up to be a more sociable and easier access option than the very competitive West Riding County Women's league. As a shift worker yourself how have you found the schedule and atmosphere within the league?"

"As a shift worker I have found this league easier to be part of. Less of a commitment is required as matches are mostly every second or third week. I feel less guilt for not being available.

Even though we train weekly and I do have to miss some of them I don't feel like I miss too much. I can book annual leave or swap shifts much easier due to less matches being played.

As much as I would love to be part of the higher, more competitive leagues in reality it just doesn't fit my work life balance.

This league seems perfect, albeit, did have some teething issues as its in its first season, but that's to be expected.

I'm so glad Alan our coach and Emma from reserves encouraged me to side step from the reserves, the Railway club truly has brought so much to my life over the past two years. The atmosphere in the league is friendly but still competitive. I hope it continues to be that way in the future.

If you've ever thought about giving football a try and have life commitments that stop you from being able to play every week then this is the league for you. Harrogate Railway is the team for you if you have positive attitude and a can do mind set."

"They really are one big family. Great bunch, good team ethos and the coaching team are amazing!"

The Devs team are looking for players to join their squad after losing a few players to injury, job changes and pregnancy! We would love to hear from anybody who'd like to try playing football or even return to football after a break. We try to keep a mix of male and female coaches and we would love to invite potential recruits to a free training session. All you need to get started is a pair of trainers and a positive attitude!

The team are also looking for additional coaching staff or a player coach as the brilliant Devs Manager Lauren Talbot will soon be headed on maternity leave herself. Get in touch and get involved!

#football #harrogate #harrogate railway #womens football #woso #barclays wsl #england lionesses #sports #lionesses

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maiji · 9 months

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fight / flight part 3 thumbnails and page sketches

This is the behind the scenes work-in-progress overview for fight / flight part 3!

I feel like I’ve exhausted my current level of ability to compose and draw fight sequences. It was a struggle, to say the least! But it was also a lot of fun and deeply satisfying when I figured out how to get (something close to) the effect I wanted to achieve. I started the thumbnails and page sketches in early August and worked on it intermittently, with a chunk of about a week or two where I got most of the pages inked (on the computer). Then it was more intermittent progress until this past weekend when I finally powered through the rest!

All sketches of the pages are below the cut, spoilers for Part 3 progress.

With regards to the thumbnails versus the final pages:

I learned from last time and did my thumbnails bigger (2x2 instead of 3x3 a page) so that I can better compose the sequences and tell what the heck is going on.

You can see I actually started the first page as Hokushin stretching his arms out to grab for both swords. At some point I decided to then squeeze another page in before that one, giving a bit of a pause for Hokushin to collect himself before he charges at Otake. The goal was to build up that scene a bit more. The text on page 16’s thumbnail reads “slowly getting up first?” and I think we lost the sense of that in the page by itself, but the reader can (hopefully) make that connection in their brain when actually reading from Part 2 to Part 3 without a break). The important thing is that still maintains the pause, so.

Page 18, the head-on charging page. I was already thinking about this moment back in 2021 - it’s the test panel here of Hokushin crying with rage/despair as he attacks Otake. It seems like a no brainer now that this section is done, but when I first started scripting/thumbnailing, I actually wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to work in the scene. But I did it! It’s just drawn from a slightly different angle and with more details only possible now that I’ve gone through this part of the story, which I think works better to convey the forward momentum.

Page 19 is pretty much exactly as I thumbnailed. I was very happy with this page and the dialogue! Also it was lots of facial closeups so that is always a joy/relief to draw, hahaha.

Page 20 also pretty much as I thumbnailed

Pages 21-23 were the most difficult and last pages I finished. This is mainly because I didn’t figure out the panelling on page 21 till the very end. That page was very tight, trying to pack in an eventful but short sequence of Otake getting more injured, dropping his sword, and doing some sort of attack that would land Hokushin on the ground. At the last second, when I was pretty much done inking everything else, I came up with the idea of basically smacking Hokushin across the head hard enough to flip him over - and snap his neck, if he weren’t a rokurokubi. (I always like to take advantage of opportunities in the story that highlight Hokushin's stretchy nature.) Then I had to redraw a batch of panels on the following page to make it better follow the motion. I still think it could use more work, but short of reworking a lot more - it is what it is, which is done!

Pages 24, 25 also pretty much the same.

Other thoughts:

Continuity was a challenge. I kept forgetting what damage Hokushin and Otake had already sustained and had to keep going back to retouch pages. In fact, after I reposted to tumblr (which I usually do last, after waiting a day or so in case I catch more errors I want to fix before sharing it there), I then realized I had forgotten to draw all of Hokushin's upper arm injuries from Part 2, sighed and reopened the files to blob some more blood on him. I also realized some of his facial injuries/cuts are not technically rendered the same but at this point it really is a "probably only I would notice if I didn't say anything about it" so eh. May the record of this inconsistency serve to educate lol.

Had a bit of a hard time trying to get Tomoe Gozen to look on-model from how I drew her in Survive.

I am very grateful for splatter brushes. Splatter splatter wheee. There’s a fine balance of… finding the balance though, as I found sometimes the blood splatters got in the way of actually seeing and conveying the impact of the action. But between blood splatters and speed lines that helped a lot with creating a sense of action and FIGHT without having to draw every single blow.

I’m still not entirely happy with the finished pages. Currently the thing that’s still bothering me is Hokushin’s position on page 23, in terms of the angle he’s lying at and how far he is from Otake. At one point I debated even repositoning them so that Tomoe was stepping over Hokushin to block Otake, instead of standing in front of Hokushin. But I don’t want to redraw the rest of that page because getting Tomoe Gozen’s pose looking decently believable took me a lot of wrangling, haha.

Here are all of the page sketches - without the text.

[Image set follows, showing the rough sketch stage for all 10 pages in part 3 of fight / flight.]

A few more things to note:

On the opening page, you can see that there is a panel of Hokushin taking a step towards Otake that I dropped. It seemed to interrupt/disrupt down the pace between this and the next page in a way I didn’t feel was effective.

On page 22, the angle of Hokushin crashing into Otake is a lot more extreme/exaggerated, but when I started inking it ended up looking a bit ridiculous, so I rotated them to a more conventional angle.

Here are the two panels for page 22 top left that I had finished and then decided to completely re draw after figuring out the progress of page 21. You can see Hokushin has landed on his back instead and dramatically coughs up some blood. (Then I was like, "Oh I made him do that in Part 2 already. Seems redundant.") His landing also didn't make sense anymore with the action/impact coming from the side in the previous page.

Phew! Part 4 will have a lot less people whacking each other with swords and a lot less Hokushin being flung around. Thankfully!

#yu yu hakusho #hokushin #otake #wip #sketches #thumbnails #comics #fancomic #making art #making comics #comics process #yyh north bound #art by maiji/mary huang

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earlgreydream · 3 years

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cozy.

| draco x reader x theo | smut | fluff |

anon requested. Draco x reader x Theo smut

The fire in the hearth crackled nearby, offering warmth in the common room made of marble and glass. You knelt on a satin pillow, curled up between the legs of your lover. Your head rested against the inside of Draco’s thigh, your back against the chair he was perched in. You felt safe at his feet, leaning into the touch of his hand in your hair.

Your friends were all piled on the couches and on the floor around the coffee table, all fighting for a seat near the warm fire. You were wrapped in one of Theo’s knitted quidditch sweaters, his body above yours, draped over the arm of Draco’s chair.

You let your mind wander, tuning out of the conversation about where everyone was spending Christmas. You were almost asleep, lulled into drowsiness by Draco’s fingers carding through your hair.

“Y/N, love. Pansy asked you a question,” Draco hummed, his fingers brushing over your cheek.

“Hm?” You hummed, struggling to open your eyes.

“I asked if you were still awake,” she teased, and you yawned, hoping you could continue leaning on Draco without being disturbed.

“Let’s go to bed, sweetheart,” Theo’s voice broke through your sleepy haze, and you held your arms out, too tired to really open your eyes or stand up. Draco laughed gently, and Theo bent down to pick you up.

“Draco?” You mumbled, your arms draping over Theo’s back.

“I’m going to stay down here a bit longer. I’ll be up later,” Draco kissed the back of your hand before letting Theo carry you to the dorms.

“I want to go to your bed.”

“My bed?” he teased, kissing your cheeks. You nodded, resting your head on his shoulder.

He carried you to Draco’s prefect dorm, the large, private room where the three of you often slept.

Theo gently set you down on the edge of the bed, stepping into the ensuite and returning with a washcloth. You scrunched your face as he cleaned your makeup off gently, holding your jaw in his hand. You relaxed, letting him wash your makeup off, appreciating that he was doing it for you.

Theo loved to dote on you. He was gentle and sweet, and enjoyed caring for you and showering you with attention. It extended to Draco, too, who basked in the brunette’s affections.

You slipped off your jeans and crawled under the covers as soon as Theo was finished with your face. He smiled at you when he returned, amused by how cuddly you got when you were tired.

“I want Draco,” you murmured, reaching out to his side of the empty bed.

“What am I to you, then?”

“I already have you here with me,” you pulled him into a kiss, feeling him smile against your lips.

Theo changed into joggers before sliding in bed with you. You moved to lay on top of him, wrapping your body around his. His hands moved to rest on your backside, gently brushing his thumbs over your skin.

Theo felt your breathing deepen as you fell asleep, curling up tighter into him. He kissed your head, listening to your soft sighs as you exhaled.

You were warm, like a little heater curled up on his chest. You snuggled deeper into the sweater as you slept, seeming to bury into the coziness. He pulled the duvet up higher over your back, and you relaxed, your fingers resting on his chest.

Theo looked up when the door opened later, Draco slipping inside. He smiled at the two of you, his two favorite people. Draco walked over, setting his hand on Theo’s shoulder and kissing him firmly.

“I love you,” Theo whispered, and Draco nodded, saying it back.

He brushed hair from your face, leaning down and kissing your temple. He sat beside the two of you for a while, murmuring softly with Theo about plans for the weekend before finally getting ready for bed.

They were careful not to disturb you, and Draco slid under the duvet, settling against Theo’s side. Theo removed an arm from you to wrap around Draco, playing with his silvery hair until they fell asleep.

You woke up between the boys, all three of you half-asleep. You stirred and realized both of your boyfriends were hard.

“Hey, hey,” Theo murmured, grabbing your hip as you ground back against him.

You rolled over and wrapped your arm around his neck, dragging the boy into a heavy kiss. Your fingers trailed over his defined abs, below his waistband. He moaned into your mouth, weakly bucking his hips into your hand as you stroked him. He was heavy in your fingers, his skin soft like velvet. The feeling was making arousal soak through your panties, smearing on the inside of your thighs.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Theo moaned before pushing his tongue into your mouth, deepening your kiss.

“Watching you two go at it is making me horny,” Draco murmured against your neck. He pushed his sweats down and began to grind against your ass, making you gasp. He hooked his fingers in the lace that barely covered you, pulling it aside.

“Keep touching Theo, baby,” Draco encouraged, pulling your leg over his to give him better access before he carefully pushed the tip inside of you. You stuttered for a moment before sliding your thumb over Theo’s tip, making him whine. Draco decided to tease you, a hint of sadism breaking through your early-morning softness. His thrusts were shallow at first, just barely entering you, edging your entrance.

“Draco, please fuck me,” you cried, trying to squirm back to take more of him in.

“I am, baby,” he feigned innocence, amusement sparkling in his starry eyes.

“N-no, you’re teasing me. Please, I want all of you!”

Draco gave you what you wanted all at once, his entire body connecting with yours. You arched your back off of Draco’s chest, ecstasy consuming you as the ridges of his cock dragged against your walls. Draco’s hips thrusted forward, burying himself as deep as possible inside of you. Your head dropped back on his shoulder, your vision blurring as his fingers rubbed circles on your clit.

“Come for me, Theo,” you begged sweetly, feeling him twitch in your hand.

His hand went to the back of your head, dragging you into another kiss as he came. His hips stuttered as he released in your hand, making a mess of his joggers.

“You’re taking Draco’s cock so well, sweetheart. You look so pretty getting fucked like this in my sweater,” Theo praised you, laying his hand on the space between your hips.

“He’s so big, I can feel him in your belly, stretching you out. I bet you’re so tight, squeezing the life out of him,” Theo’s words made Draco fuck you harder, chasing the relief he craved.

Theo kissed you, his hands slipping under your sweater to gently fondle your tits. He lazily rocked into your hand, still-half hard from the erotic sight of you being railed by Draco.

“I’m so close, fucking hell,” Draco swore, pulling your hips back to meet his as he wrapped his body around yours. The pressure building up inside of him exploded, and soon he was filling your pussy with hot white ribbons, buried all the way inside of you. You cried out against Theo’s lips at the sensation, overwhelmed from feeling so full.

Draco’s torture on your clit didn’t cease, and soon you were tumbling over the edge, throbbing tightly around Draco as you came with a shudder. Your orgasm washed through you in waves, drawing out your euphoria until you were shaking.

You winced as Draco pulled out of you, moving your panties back in place, keeping your releases inside of you. Some of it seeped through the lace, making you feel even more lewd. Draco swore at the sight, gathering it on his fingers before tasting you, making your cheeks burn. You hid your face in Theo, who lovingly stroked your hair.

Peacefulness settled back over the room, and your mind and body softened, leftover endorphins simmering and making you relaxed.

Both boys admired you, whispering soft praises about how lovely you were and how amazing you treated them. They adored you, showering you with affection and making sure you knew how terribly loved you were.

The boys let you rest for a few moments, catching your breath and letting the high wear off. You felt a bit dazed as you opened your eyes, gazing up at the two gorgeous boys on either side of you.

“We gotta shower, sweetheart. We’re all filthy. Your hand is messy and your pussy is spilling all over the place,” Theo kindly teased, cupping you between your legs and making you shudder and lean back into Draco.

“Sensitive, love?” Draco asked, leading you toward the shower.

“A little,” you confessed, your steps unsteady from the force of Draco fucking you. Theo helped you out if your clothes and tossed them aside, opening the glass door.

Steam rose from the shower and you welcomed the hot water as you moved under the stream. It washed away the filth from your body, and you leaned back into Theo’s chest so he could properly cleanse you.

He squeezed vanilla soap into his hands before rubbing and massaging it into your body, the sweet scent wafting around you. You let him turn you so he could wash your back, and Draco kissed your shoulder. You faded from reality as they washed themselves, your mind wandering to your warm bed that you desperately wished to get back to.

It took some convincing to get you to let them wash your hair. You reminded them to be careful of your tangles, and they promised to be gentle.

“Baby, did I hurt you?” Draco’s worried voice broke you out of your dreamy thoughts.

You looked down and saw the bruise on your hip, matching up with his hand. Theo tensed, his fingertips brushing softly over your marked skin. He hated to see you with any sign of injury, wanting to protect you.

“No, not at all,” you promised Draco, giving him a reassuring kiss. The boys exchanged a silent look, and Draco knew he was in for it later, bound to receive a lecture from Theo about being careful with you.

Draco guided your head under the water, rising the soap from your hair before shutting it off. You squeezed the water out of your hair, hesitating to leave the warm shower.

You shivered, goosebumps breaking out over your skin as you stepped into the cold air. Theo noticed, wrapping you in a towel. You giggled as he playfully rubbed you through it, tickling your sides and dragging you against his chest.

“It’s so cold! I want to go back to bed,” you complained, trying to make your way back to the magically cleaned sheets.

“Let’s get breakfast first, then go to Hogsmeade with everyone,” Draco suggested, and you sighed, unable to deny the attractiveness of the idea.

You slipped into fur-lined leggings and a warm sweater, pulling wool socks onto your feet to go inside of your boots.

Two cardamom buns and a cup of coffee later, you were braving the icy temperatures in order to go shopping and get some butterbeer.

You walked between them, holding each of their hands as you popped in and out of shops, chattering excitedly with your friends.

Giggles erupted from you as both boys kissed your cheeks, making you squeal with delight as you entered a pub for some butterbeer. You slid into a booth, closed in between their bodies, deciding there was nowhere else you’d rather be than with them.

part 2: cozy (2).

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