( ' glass children. ' )
violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain.
then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.
monster, how should I feel?
creatures lie here, looking through the windows
i will hear their voices.
i'm a glass child, i am hannah's regrets.
— summary: with the star plasma vessel dead, satoru and suguru need you (fem!reader) to lead them to their next path.
— genre: angst. heartbreak.
— playing: monster by meg & dia
— note(s): i'm a sucker for what ifs. i love what ifs. good and bad. i thought about this what if a lot. i wanted to write about this since halloween and didn't have time to post it. i just know suguru and satoru are better than me cause everyone would have gotten this smoke. that's all imma say. anyways, mentions of blood & death. probably some spelling errors here and there.
— word count: 866
Those beautiful cerulean blue hues still sparkled as the light down on them.
But the spark of life was gone. They were dull. Lifeless. Emotionless. You never saw them like this before.
You could feel the anxiety swallowing you whole. If someone looked closely, they can see your legs trembling slightly. The two boys in front of you were having a brief conversation but you couldn’t hear it.
You couldn’t hear anything over the loud sounds of your heart rate picking up at a rapid pace. You couldn’t even hear the round of applause the strangers that crowded around the white hair teenager who held the lifeless body like he did the first time meeting her.
They were clapping for Satoru. Fucking clapping.
You just stared at the crowd in disbelief. What kind of people would approve of this? What kind of people are happy over this? The death of a young girl.
A young girl you considered your friend.
Monsters...monsters...
“Suguru...should we kill these guys? The way I am right now I doubt I’d feel anything.” His voice was hoarse. But what made your heart ache was hearing no emotion in his tone. It matched his stare.
Dull. Lifeless. Emotionless.
Your eyes went over to Suguru. His back was faced to Satoru but you saw his almond shaped eyes were as wide as they can be but soon he pulled himself back together. He always does. He has too.
“No. There’s no point. It’ll be dissolved soon enough.” His voice mimic the tone Satoru set. He began to walk towards the door to get out of there. He was sick of the clapping and the smell of the dried blood that lingeried. He was sick of this. He was sick of this life. He was sick of death. He was sick of curses.
“No point, huh? Does there really need to be any point to it?” Satoru asked or stated. You couldn’t really tell. You went to follow behind Suguru like a lost puppy but Satoru called out your name.
“Name...”
"Y-yes...Satoru?" your gentle voice trembled.
"What do you think we should do?" Satoru asked you. His eyes didn’t look at you. They just looked straight ahead into nothing. Suguru's eyes went over to you almost forgetting you were even there.
Your eyes was puffy and red from crying. You were the emotional one out of the three. That's why Satoru would tease you about being weak. You were a crybaby. But Suguru didn't see an issue with it, he likes you like this. So did Satoru but he wouldn't openly admit it. You reminded him about those certain emotions he swore he couldn’t feel anymore.
"Name...what should we do?" Suguru also asked willing to do anything you said. The self proclaimed brains of this trio couldn’t think straight or logically. So it was up to you.
The boys looked over at you for an answer. An answer you didn't have. This wasn't fair. These higher ups using you children. Not caring if you killed one another or died in front of each other. You loved your best friends. Especially Satoru and Suguru, willing to do anything to protect them. Even Riko. They were the only family you have.
But would the higher ups mourn you?
Would the higher ups sink into a dark hole of depression?
Would the higher ups get revenge on you?
Or would they replace you like a piece of livestock.
They would probably replace you in a matter of days.
They probably would assign Satoru and Suguru a mission while your ashes are still warm.
Satoru and Suguru.
The thought of leaving them behind made you feel sick at the pit of your stomach. How would Satoru handle it? You knew Suguru would break in a matter of days. He bottles so much inside of him it would just burst out. Would they keep it together if you were to die? Or would they lose it themselves.
You know you would lose it if either of them or both of them were to die. Leaving you all alone. To defend yourself. To love yourself. You couldn’t imagine a world without them. The three of you were glued to each other, couldn’t really function without the other.
You could feel the anger replacing the fear and anxiety. On the inside your morals and humanity was being teared apart, stripped away from you the more you stared at Riko's lifeless body in Satoru's arms covered by a thin white cloth.
"Name..." Suguru called out to you once more. There wasn’t much time to make a decision.
"Kill them," you finally answered losing all emotions you had that day, "kill them all."
That's all Satoru needed to hear. His lips formed a wicked grin as Suguru silently summoned the rainbow dragon. You stood watched the blood being splattered on the walls and floors. The screams made you smile like that day on the beach with your best friends.
That’s where your mind was.
The day on the beach with Riko and Satoru laughing at the sea cucumber while you, Suguru, and Misato were on the beach towels just watching them with smile of your faces.
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Hey do yous want to see my favourite bit from the first Thor film? It's this bit:
What's going on here? Why would anyone be standing behind that big gold pillar for any reason other than to slink out from behind it? There's nothing there! Not even the sinister shadows that I suspect were supposed to be on that part of the set.
Oh ho ho, here we go, here we goooooo!!!
Oh yeah, I absolutely 100% trust whatever this lad's about to say. That's the least shifty approach I've ever seen in my life. He barely even skulked.
Listen to him, Thor! I don't care what he's saying to you, it's definitely good advice whatever it is. See how he's leaning towards you in a completely un-conspiratorial manner, speaking quietly because he knows you're a sensitive type who gets nervous around loud noises. This is really good advice. You can tell because he looks so earnest.
Oh and here come some witnesses! I mean your friends!
You can safely ignore whatever he's saying now though, Thor. He's obviously got a bit intimidated by the success that lies ahead when you carry out this amazing plan that you've just come up with all by yourself after he suggested it.
Oof, he's very against you doing that thing that you're about to do! He's sooooo disappointed with the way this is going. He's just said it's madness! In a loud, clear voice that should have carried across the room quite well.
I wonder if any of the witnesses overheard that part of the conversation?
Aye. Aye, they did :)
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i love makoto so much but fanon does her so much better (the good parts of the fandom) because in the game her character is so lack luster. they butchered her confidant it is so borning and not even about her. they made her a cop. A COP. they pushed this "canon waifu" role onto her (before sumire came along and did it Even Worse). and it SUCKS because SHE IS SO MUCH MORE!!! SHE IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! SHE COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER!!! the way i feel about canon makoto is the same way i feel about the canon ryuji events post komoshida where he's horribly mistreated and used purely as comic relief: i ignore them <3 my game now <3 never happened <3 my ocs <3
You are so right. I generally apply this to all characters in p5 bc the game does such a shit job of staying consistent with character arcs and personalities. Theres a desperate need to throw in perverse jokes at the expense of female characters and a need to show that the police (as a whole) are reliable people who are not influenced by things like money and power; only the BAD cops do that. Not to mention this obvious fatphobia and homophobia but i feel likes thats a given.
But back to Makoto. Shes a victim of bad writing just like everyone else. Ryuji during the kamoshida arc was fighting with self loathing and genuine anxiety, and aside from the like. One comment on Panthers outfit in the metaverse, hes more than well behaved. All of that is shelved as soon as Kamoshida is gone and replaced with him being weird comic relief (and the focus of alot of sexual jokes that were nonexistent in the beginning of the game). Anns arc about self love and empowerment is completely dropped as soon as the nasty bad guy is put away (so that its good to be weird about her w the Good Guys). Makoto loses her a chunk of her personality to be the mature waifu which is INSANE to me bc shes like. Not okay or normal at all 😭😭😭 she THINKS shes responsible and so does everyone else on her team, but its an act! She doesnt know shit! And she doesnt know that she doesnt know shit bc shes respectful and adults dont care about anything as long as u respect them!
Its very telling that for literally every single thief (and goro), you can see the exact moment the writers gave up on adding anything of worth to their characters outside of the social links. Its like they didnt know what to even do w the characters at their disposal after their main arcs were complete. No mention of friends hanging out without you, no mention of having group hangouts. Everyone is treated as a core, important member of the friend group DURING their arc, but outside of it, they are acquaintances at best. Theres nothing in the game that convinces you that these guys are legitimately friends who care for each other and do Friend Things. And i describe it like that bc there IS a game that treats them all as friends, and its strikers! Strikers/Scramble genuinely feels like the game p5 wanted to be; a road trip w your team where they stay up at night talking to each other and hanging out and doing things together that dont necessarily include you, the player. Its refreshing and lovely but it sucks that u get that kind of attention to detail in a ‘spinoff’ title
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Thinking about all the random scrapped enemies from the first game
Where are my summoners?? Why aren't the wasps large anymore??? Nymphs on vacation or something??? Did the screamers evolve into banshees??? Did y'all kill all those scorpions???? Why is the spire krakenless???
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But honestly. Why would Nomura choose to start the paopu sharing scene with Sora focused on Riku. Why would Nomura choose to have Sora frowning and reluctant to share paopu with Kairi until Kairi clarifies it doesn’t mean they’re a couple. Why would Nomura not tell the voice actors this scene is romantic if it’s meant to be romantic. Why would Nomura consider not having Sora and Kairi share paopu at all. Why would Nomura choose to have Sora start questioning what romantic love and true love are in KH3. Why would Nomura have Sora notice the parallels between himself & Riku and Anna & Elsa just to begin wondering what he and Riku are (according to the novel, Sora doesn’t feel like ‘siblings’ is the right answer). Why would Nomura directly parallel Riku’s feelings for Sora with Hercules’ romantic feelings for Megara. Why would Nomura choose to not show Sora acting ‘romantic’ (in the eyes of the general audience) with Kairi until after Sora forgets Riku’s true love sacrifice (and arguably other things about Riku) and associates Kairi with his savior — a situation that parallels another romantic Disney tale, The Little Mermaid, and is not unlike Sora associating Namine (and then Kairi) with the person most precious to him in CoM when it’s actually Riku that Namine has replaced in Sora’s most precious memory, the meteor shower promise… another memory that Sora may have forgotten. Why would Nomura choose to show Riku’s true love sacrifice multiple times, emphasizing how important it is, if that moment/memory is not going to be vital later. Why would Nomura choose to visually parallel Riku’s true love sacrifice with the meteor shower promise. Why would Nomura specifically shut down the possibility of Riku/Namine when he’s usually pretty indifferent to shipping. Why would Nomura choose to not have Kairi’s memories hold an important connection to Sora beyond the knowledge that unreality exists, and then in the same breath, give Riku an important, personal connection to Sora through his dreams. Why would Nomura choose to make Riku the only one who can go after Sora, who has the power to save him? Why would Nomura choose to parallel Riku with Cinderella and Aurora whose “dreams lead her to her true love”? Why would Nomura do any of this if Sora/Riku’s not happening.
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People joke about ADHD all the time, even swear up and down they totally think they also have it, but then if you ask for an accommodation, to please please please provide things in fucking writing, EXACTLY what they want and need, you will even work it out WITH them, like they promised they would do — repeatedly over and over, and then you don't get it people really will fucking be like:
I am using the incorrect bathroom (TM) to place my shelving and store my things. Homegirl literally removed various sundries and toiletries from a CLOSED CABINET and SHELF because she's interested in boundaries and accountability for my mess.
I said months ago I wanted to improve things for her comfort level and needed a written list of what precisely that fucking looked like in order to achieve it and not miss anything she deemed important. I explained how ADHD works, why I needed a written reference. Why I had to have it laid out, and if something needed changing we needed to write it all out. I would've made the list myself, but they said they would make it for the whole house to hold up their end of things. And, thinking this was a very reasonable adult solution to keeping the house in good shape, I said okay, come up with the list of expectations and what is needed and that way we can update how we handle chores. Awesome. I will do that to uphold my end.
No list ever gets made or drafted or anything despite my bringing it up, knowing we need to do it, but I DO get berated for failing to meet expectations and boundaries that were never fucking provided or delivered and include "don't store toiletries in this particular bathroom because I don't like it."
I can't believe I am a goddamn adult who gets treated like an idiot child for expecting adult communication instead of snide ass passive aggressive bullshit and basic respect for my things.
Because when I fucking get home, my shelving has been removed and a cabinet emptied of my things and placed in the "correct" bathroom.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Oh shit she solved it, this doesn't look cluttered at all!
What a vast improvement to storing things in appropriate storage!
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