When I was getting my diagnosis, my psychiatrist told me right after giving me my prescription that I need to consider eating food a part of my medication, and that flipped a switch in my brain that oh. Maybe willingly starving myself and eating only one meal a day isn't healthy.

sometimes writing is going "this sounds really good!" to "this is all garbage actually" but wait! that's just the 1 am brain talking

I am so, SO happy that I'm seeing more people on twitter defending Alya and talking about how SOME people have done Marinette dirty in s5 and how said snakey characters continue to get their feet kissed by the fandom and have their actions blamed on "bad writing uwu"

There is a reason why the only characters I give a shit about are Marinette, Adrien, Alya, Nino, Tom, Sabine and kwamis atm

Many people need to understand that their fave characters aren't affected by "bad writing". They're just shit people in general sometimes lol.

.

The vibe really deteriorated as the day went on, and now I'm sitting in bed, awake, feeling like garbage

im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just

it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)

(:

i think my recurring chest pain might be my heart breaking slowly but surely

Missing people and regretting shit o'clock

tw for ed talk in the tags so like,,, idk be mindful of that i guess if you happen to read the tags of this post? just need to vent to the void a lil lol

huzzah!!

I feel kinda cringe having devoted so much time to two Valter pages over the past weekend, which is why this is actually a scheduled post! I’ll deal with the embarrassment later or smth idk :rolling_eyes:

a supports page :]

my friends slowly becoming disinterested in me the longer we've been out of school is gonna be my joker origin pretty soon here

.

Uh- hi🥲

ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

You know what I love?

Characters who are BAD, but not in the sense you think. BAD as in not the best, the basic-est of basic, maybe even foolish and dumb, not attractive, no special qualities, they're the side-characters in every story, and they STILL try their best (regardless of if that means trying their best at being good or bad). I don't like making like... amazing characters unless I can give them big flaws or highlight their flaws instead of how incredible they are. Like making Me.teor a himbo, overworked, he leaves his own needs behind, but also he's very simple and down-to-earth and a little slow on other stuff that's not like... all of the jobs he takes and stuff.

Aside, I do have Atom and said Atom is the best asset of his company, highly efficient when it comes to following rules and fighting on the battlefield, but I like highlighting his flaws and how damaged and wrong he actually is instead of him being this "incredible creation." I don't know, I don't find joy in a character that is just 10/10 in looks, attributes, assets, etc... Hand over the underdog, the supposed unconventionally good, they all have potential and I adore them so much.