Skyrim scenery: Whiterun Hold

𝕊𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝔽𝕝𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤

A Skyrim journey, 48/?

“There’s a nip in the air. Cold won’t be good for my crops. Never is.”

Me, at the first hint of the season change:

Travels Across Skyrim

Somewhere in my mod list is one that makes the game go a little hazy . . . I don't know what the criteria is, or if this is supposed to happen, but if it's subtle it's quite pretty.

Right after I got these shots it became not subtle and I felt like I was on drugs.

Riverwood, Skyrim as depicted by the JK's Skyrim mod.

I’ve been away for a while now but here are some of brand new travel posters (Skyrim edition). These were a lot of fun to make. Check them out on my redbubble and digital prints on etsy.

Hello!! I saw a screenshot of THIS

post recently and realized I've seen it added to posts a whole bunch, but never the original... is there a chance you could crack this case???

findin' this one proved to be a bit more complicated than i thought. see, my client handed me a case that included a screenshot of the post. so, i went to the address listed and snooped around, filterin' for "jpegs..." but nothin' showed up. so i tried "dolls." still nothin'. i tried "tumblr" and still nothin'. so, i went into the archives to snoop around. after a few minutes of scrollin' with no results i gave up and went down to the Search Bar to ask Don Google for help. they managed to give me the exact post rather quickly, but i was surprised by the rest of the post.

here you are! enjoy this lovely Skyrim wedding between two fluffy lovers! have a great day!

Post Case: Closed

Last Dragonborn, to a torch bug, as their follower, a dragon, two giants, three mammoths, a bunch of bandits, cultists of Boethiah and Miraak, a spriggan, hold guards, a Thalmor patrol, and a random fox fight to the death in the background: To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it.

Skyrim scenery: Near Riverwood

𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕪 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕦𝕟 ℍ𝕠𝕝𝕕

A Skyrim journey, 47/?

why do so many npcs in skyrim think dragons never existed? there are burial mounds everywhere. there are historical records. there's a ton of dragon skeletons just lying about on solstheim. there is a dragon skull on display in the jarl of whiterun's palace

im in my 'two dozen unnamed clipping masks is basically the same thing as shading' era

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (featuring some followers): Dragonsreach Dungeon

This is the start of what I hope to be a full series of posts where I explore and evaluate the prison facilities in every major hold capital of Skyrim and share my experiences with them. Where else to start than the ever iconic Whiterun and it's maybe a bit less iconic Dragonsreach Dungeons?

The cell provided for the LDB in Whiterun is modest yet at the same time surprisingly expansive. Decorations include an animal pelt bed (which seems oddly lavish for a prisoner but then again I suppose Whiterun is a wealthy trade hub), a sheving unit to put all the possessions you don't have on you and a hatch which leads directly into a passage of tunnels beneath the dungeons. A hatch which just so happens to have an incredibly weak lock (so they can afford warm bedding but not decent locks? Seems fishy to me). Before I could venture to open these locks however I was faced with an issue.

I have no idea how he got in here. I suppose given his experience with prison facilities from Riften it's not entirely surprising Inigo would know his way around a prison cell. Perhaps he utilised special moon powers to get in? Maybe he silently picked open the front door when none of the guardsmen were looking? Or had he sent Mr. Dragonfly to open the cell door from the other side? I think it most likely that Khajiit simply has skills my feeble, smooth Redguard brain cannot comprehend.

With Inigo's help I picked the lock on the hatch and slipped silently into the tunnel network beneath my cell. While inside these tunnels I kept having the same thought: Why are these here? What purpose is there to have a tunnel system beneath every cell in the dungeon? Are prisoners expected to release their excreta down the hatches? I wouldn't think so given the lack of staining on the floors at the very least.

In fact, the whole system seems remarkably well maintained. With the exception of a single skeever carcass, there was very little clutter or cobwebs or anything of the sort. The rather tidy state of the tunnel passageways leads me to conclude that it must be cleaned at least somewhat regularly, but by who? The guards? What do they use the tunnels for? I can't think of any reason the guards benefit from having this tunnel system in place. All it serves to do is give prisoners an easy way out of their cells and access to the prisoner belongings chest (which mercifully is at least locked with an expert quality lock). The tunnels in fact culminate in a ladder which leads directly into the guards barracks (again, why?). I did, however, have one additional thing in these tunnels that requires discussion.

...I'm beginning to think they don't like me being arrested. Inigo breaking into a prison I can understand but what in the name of Diagna is Sofia doing here? How the hell did she slip past the guards? The most slapdash, crude woman I've ever seen successfully managed to slip into these tunnels without alerting any of the more than a dozen guards regularly occupying either the dungon floors or the guard barracks next door. I believe this says a lot about the quality of the guardsmanship of Whiterun's "finest". Olava the Feeble would be more alert than those incompetent oafs.

Climbing up the ladder into the Guard Barracks leaves us in a side room containing a few barrels that happens to be within sprinting distance of the door out into the open city. Not only is the close proximity to the exit incredibly stupid, it leaves the guards residing in the barracks no time to feasibly register the prisoner's presence, adopt a battle position, blockade the door out and draw their weaponry. Before they can swallow their sweet roll the prisoner has darted out and is loose on the streets once again, a feat which becomes all the easier when you realise most prisoners won't be weighed down with body armour or big weapons and can this maneuverer much faster than any of the guards in the area. This is of course assuming the prisoner is an idiot who did not pre-plan for their arrest. A smart prisoner can very easily deposit their powerful equipment inside one of the barrels in the back room prior to their arrest which (thanks to the absence of a lock on the barrels) leaves them free to take back their rightful belongings and before you know it Whiterun's finest are jumped by a crazed Redguard lunatic weilding a Honed Ancient Nord Greatsword of Soul Snares and swinging it wildly like they're in the middle of a warzone. This represents a drastic oversight in the design of the prison system in Whiterun that urgently needs adressing.

In conclusion, Dragonsreach Dungeon left quite a sour taste in my mouth. I had expected a quality stronghold to effectively hold and punish criminals but what I instead saw was bizzare investment directions, a whole underground tunnel system designed for no-one's benefit other than the prisoners, a poorly laid out guard barracks and a team of guardsmen and guardswomen so foolhearty, indolent and frankly inadequate that they were unable to detect the presence of a loudmouth, brash, drunken nord woman wearing heavy plated armour and making a whitty joke every twelve seconds. For one of the most vital holds in the country and a Centrepoint for all of Skyrim, this is beyond a letdown.

Final rating: 2 honed ancient nord greatswords of soul snares out of 10 honed ancient nord greatswords of soul snares.

Thank you for reading and (hopefully enjoying), this little review of mine. Please do consider joining me next time when I investigate the swamp water shithole that is Morthal and see if it fares any better.