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dameronology · 3 years

Note

Nine from the angst list and Obi-Wan kenobi?

i would like to formally apologise, nonnie, for the fact this took me fucking months to write. i hope u enjoy <3

obi-wan kenobi + 9) “it doesn’t matter that you stopped yourself - the point is you kissed someone else in the first place!”

Obi-Wan Kenobi prided himself on making rational decisions.

It was probably the only reason he'd survived this far, because it was clear to everyone and their mother that he was also a fucking dumb-ass. Still, his contradictory nature was one of the most beautiful things about him. He meant that he wasn't just a Jedi too, but a human.

And like humans, he also had the tendency to make mistakes.

Most of the time, they were totally forgivable ones - forgetting to put the toilet seat down, leaving his shoes by the door, folding over pages of a book even though you'd brought him like a million fucking book-marks. They were just little things - tiny grievances intertwined into the domestic of your shared lives. You had your downfalls too - like being a terrible cook and never remembering to buy more milk - so you never thought much of it.

This time round, it was a little bigger than a forgotten grocery item or dirty dishes left in the sink.

Really, Obi-Wan had never meant for you to find out that he had accidentally kissed Satine Kryze. In his defense, she had started it - and he'd just let it happen. Part of him wanted to take it to the grave but the other part - the one ridden heavy with guilt and regret - knew that he couldn't. The sooner he told you, the better it would be, right?

Wrong. So very, very wrong.

You'd been quiet at first - painfully so. It was as though your brain couldn't even compute what he'd done. This was Obi. Your Obi. The man who gave you his all and never asked for anything in return; the man who looked after you and cherished you.

"You're joking, right?" you finally spoke. "This a joke. Anakin dared you to-"

"- it's not a joke," he cut you off, blue eyes staying glued to the floor. "I don't know why I did it."

That was a lie. He knew exactly why - your relationship had been getting serious and Obi-Was was absolutely terrified of losing you, whether it was from the danger of his job or from neglecting you for his duties. That, mixed with the nostalgia of what had once been and the fact that Satine reminded him of simpler times, had lead to some sick form of self-sabotage. He knew now that it wasn't worth the regret or the pain; that those five seconds in which he felt young again would never amount to the way you made him feel.

"I can't believe this," you murmured. "And with Satine? It could have been fucking anyone and you went for Satine?!"

"You don't understand!" Obi-Wan insisted. His blue eyes finally snapped up from the ground, grabbing you in a choke-hold. "I was so caught up in the moment but...I stopped myself. I stopped myself, darling, I promise."

"It doesn’t matter that you stopped yourself - the point is you kissed someone else in the first place!" you snapped. "I don't even know what to think right now."

"It was a mistake," he sighed. "It was just a mistake."

"Was it worth jeopardising our entire relationship for?" you quietly asked.

There was no answer. Even though Obi-Wan was practically screaming at himself to say something, he couldn't form a sentence.

"Maker," you murmured. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

Say something, Kenobi. Fucking say something. Anything. Literally...anything. Just spit out. Form a goddamn sentence.

"I..." he trailed off. Nice one, genius.

"Fuck this," you scoffed. "I'm done here."

"Wait!"

Obi-Wan tried to grab you as pushed past him, your arm just slipping through his fingers. He helplessly watched as you stuff all of your important belongings - bank chips and the keys to your land-speeder - in your bag. Could he have stopped you? Probably. But he wasn't, and that broke your heart even more.

"Just...will you just hear me out?" he begged.

"No! I gave you the chance to explain yourself and the minute you hesitated when I asked..." you stopped for a second, forcing back a choked sob. "The minute I asked you if you had feelings for her and you couldn't immediately deny it, our relationship was over."

"Darling, just please give me one more chance to explain it-"

"- no." your voice wobbled again as you cut him off. "I'm done."

#oops SORRY #this hurt to write #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi imagine #obi-wan kenobi angst #obi-wan kenobi blurb #obi wan x y/n #obi wan kenobi x you #obi-wan x you #obi-wan imagines #obi wan kenobi #obi-wan angst #star wars x you #star wars imagine #star wars reader insert #star wars blurb

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primasveraas-writing · 3 years

Text

i've heard them calling my name

Anakin Skywalker faces five people after the second great betrayal of his lifetime.

Inspired in part by @naberiie's "thirteen minutes".

WORD COUNT: 1803

XXX

Anakin Skywalker isn’t dead, but he is dying.

It hurts, and he is used to the pain, the ache in his lungs, and the throbbing in what remains of his limbs. He’s used to the grief and the guilt and the sorrow.

What’s new is the light flooding him, overwhelming his mind and senses. What’s new is love, the feeling returned after an eternity of bitterness and hatred. What’s new is his son, so much smaller than Anakin in his mechanical suit, dragging him through the hangar, and the determination and compassion that flow from him; Luke the bright epicenter of his suddenly recentered galaxy.

But dying sounds like a horrible, raspy breath, and the wheeze of a failing ventilator.

And love sounds like: “I won’t leave you here. I’ve got to save you.”

Dying is dimness creeping in at the corners, quickly enough to scare Anakin, to rush his goodbyes.

Love is the blue of his son’s eyes, and the kindness shining in his face that reminds Anakin so much of Padmé.

He thinks of his wife, and of his daughter who he never knew, and of his son, and he mourns them all in a second, because the darkness is closing in, and his consciousness is fleeing him as is air, and again Luke desperately promises not to leave him, and Anakin exhales for the last time and his son’s voice is the last thing he knows.

There is incredible darkness and Anakin does not know nor think until a voice calls out his name and recognition blossoms with a burst of light flooding the void.

“Obi-wan?”

There is shame, deep and consuming because Anakin has betrayed his son, but he was a brother long before he was a father, and he has ruined Obi-wan with no chance of salvation like there is for Luke, and-

“Master, I’m so sorry- so very, very-”

Obi-wan says his name again, and tells him that there is more, that there can be forgiveness and immortality, and Anakin wants but he does not deserve, but he wants to see Luke again and meet his daughter and Anakin has always been selfish despite the Jedi’s teachings.

And if Obi-wan is truly offering him this chance- Obi-wan, with his fair logic and pragmatism- then maybe he does indeed deserve this, even if all others, Anakin included, do not think the same.

“I failed you, Master.”

Silence. Then, the light ripples, and there is his master, and he is smiling gently, and he shakes his head.

“And I failed you, Anakin. You needed more from me than I ever offered, and I am sorry for that.”

“After all I’ve done-”

“You did what no other Jedi could, in the end, and that is as the Force wills it.”

“I wish-” Anakin’s voice catches. “I wish it were different.”

“As do I.” Obi-wan looks sad now, and that is familiar, but he opens his arms and steps closer to Anakin. They embrace, there is love and comfort between them, things that Anakin has not allowed himself to miss in thirty long years.

When they part, Obi-wan regards him for a long moment, then speaks again.

“I still have much to teach you,” he says slowly, and Anakin nods. This has not changed, even now. “You will see others who have missed you as I have. You will find forgiveness and anger in unexpected places, from those living and dead, but, my dear padawan,” Obi-wan smiles now, a true contentedness painting his features, “you will know peace again. That is what you deserve.”

His mother is before him in the emptiness, as if from a dream.

Anakin Skywalker is decades old and a Jedi Knight and a war hero and a tyrant and a Sith Lord and evil personified and the Chosen One, and he sees his mother and runs to her.

Her embrace is warm and tight, and he knows her from the way his head buries into her neck, and the length of her arms around him, and the faint smell of spice on her tunic, and every inflection of her voice as she murmurs his name, and calls him my son, and says how I’ve missed you, and he sobs into her, pulling them both to their knees as he does.

“Mom,” he gasps, and all the shame hits him anew. He is his mother’s son, his selfless, compassionate, angel of a mother, and he is a monster who turned against everything she believed in.

“I love you,” she tells him, and he ducks his head, unable to meet her eyes. Instead, he shakes his head, letting hot tears slip down his cheeks.

“Come now,” she chides, wiping the wetness away with her sleeve. It’s as if he were four again, and he had just scraped his knee, rather than-

“I don’t deserve you, Mom,” he chokes, and although he needs her, it’s true.

“No,” Shmi’s tone is firm and resolute, “it has always been my job to love you unconditionally, Anakin. I’ll not stop now.”

“I did such terrible things-”

“Yes. And I forgive you for them.”

“How? How can you?”

“You are my son,” she says, and she cups his face in her hands and smiles at him, and he knows warmth and love with startling clarity once more. “And you have earned my forgiveness and always deserved my love.”

Anakin sobs again and hides in her shoulder, and Shmi holds him close until the cries subside and he is nearly calm again.

“There is more,” she advises him after a long while, and her warmth and love are still there but Shmi is very serious. Anakin’s throat dries, and he knows they are thinking of the same person.

“Not yet,” she says. “Soon."

“How can I-” the words die in his throat, and Shmi presses a kiss to his brow and looks him in the eye.

“She lived and died for you, Anakin. That love does not mean nothing.”

She smiles at him, her crow’s feet wrinkling, and her love is familiar and good and palpable, and then she, and everything, disappears.

There is a beautiful woman, with dark hair and eyes, and a short frame. Her features are sharp, but not harsh or unkind, except in the way that she looks at Anakin, which is with a mask of anger, her mouth set into a stern frown.

His wife’s name is on his lips, but there are differences, slight, but noticeable, and he realizes it’s because one woman aged while the other died, and when Sabé speaks, her voice rings out clearly in the tone of a queen with no time for mercy or forgiveness.

“You killed her.”

Anakin cannot breathe nor reply, so he nods instead, and stares at his feet.

“She was my life, and she died because of you, your selfishness, your rage. I worried from the second she married you, that you would be the death of her, and I was right.

“She let her love consume her, and so did you, but your love was poison,” Sabé spits. “You never deserved her.”

“No,” Anakin whispers. These are not the thoughts that made Darth Vader, but these are the ones that fueled him.

“I buried her. I loved her and I lived for her, and I brushed her hair and dressed her in her funeral gown and I tried to seek vengeance, and years later, a monster came to Naboo to find answers as I did, and I wondered why you didn’t kill us.”

“Because you look like her,” Anakin is still quieted by his shame. “Because I couldn’t destroy what was left of her.”

“I would have killed you then if I knew. I wanted to kill Vader with my bare hands, but you- you betrayed her. Death wouldn’t have sufficed for you.”

“I deserve that,” Anakin says, clear and loud. Sabé doesn’t disagree, but she regards him for a moment, studying his face, her own features still set in anger.

Then: “She forgives you.”

“What?”

“She wants to see you.” Sabé sighs and confusion overtakes Anakin’s shock, his heart pounding in his chest. “She loves you.”

“I love her,” Anakin blurts, and he tries not to shrink under Sabé’s scrutiny. “I love her still.”

“So do I,” Sabé says bluntly. “Which is why you’re seeing me first.”

“To berate me?” It makes sense to Anakin, although he has not particularly enjoyed this conversation, but Sabé seems amused, her eyes glinting.

“To tell you that you have served a penance. To show you that many will not grant you forgiveness.”

“Do you?” He suspects the answer, but the question

“I love Padmé. I follow her lead.” Sabé tilts her head to the side. “Though I keep my own reservations.”

She smiles faintly at that, then she is gone.

Padmé stands three feet before him, and she smiles.

Anakin staggers forward and stumbles, sinking to his knees. Tears are already streaming down his face when he murmurs her name, mixed with apologies and said like a prayer.

“Anakin,” Padmé says, and she holds him, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Oh, Anakin.”

He breathes her in; he still remembers the scent of her perfume and the softness of her hair, and the way her body fits against his own larger frame, and the gentleness of her touch and her voice, and he has loved her since he was nine years old, and through war and darkness and villainy and death, he has not stopped loving her.

“I love you,” she tells him, and presses a kiss to his forehead. Anakin sobs, cradling Padmé against him, and begs her again for forgiveness. “I love you, Anakin.”

“I should have- I-”

“I know,” she says, and her tone is firm. “In the end, you have made things right. That is what matters to me”

“Our children,” he whispers. “Luke saved me.” He finally looks up at her, sees the warmth in her brown eyes. “He’s like you, Padmé.”

“I believed in him as I believed in you.” His wife smiles again. “I always did.”

“I missed you,” he breathes, and Padmé squeezes his hand.

“I missed you, too. I waited so long to see you again.”

“I’m here,” Anakin exhales, shaky. “All I wanted was to be with you again.”

“I have you now.” Padmé leans in, kissing him, then rests her forehead against his.

“Now I am complete.” Anakin echoes his mother’s words from all those years ago, and he knows they are true.

Padmé rises with him, wrapping both her hands around one of his, and reaches up to kiss him once more. He holds her with his free arm, never wanting to leave her embrace, and content in the fact that he does not have to let go.

#anakin skywalker #anidala #im not an anakin apologist and i kinda hate him so this is a mess #hmmmmm #anakin skywalker fanfic #star wars #anakin skywalker fanfiction #star wars fanfic #darth vader #chracter study #star wars fanfiction #obi wan kenobi #luke skywalker #padme amidala #shmi skywalker #sabe #rotj #post rotj

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shatouto · 3 years

Text

bare his neck on the execution block

[gen fic, 2.5k. obi-wan and anakin discusses ahsoka’s apprenticeship early on. vent fic + character study, sort of. read on ao3]

“…I can’t do this anymore.”

Obi-Wan glances up. Anakin has uttered those words so quietly, so unlike his usual tone of voice when he is upset in some ways. There is none of that off-kilter lilt of minor irritation, nor the somber reverberation of suppressed but boiling rage in his voice. He sounds… defeated, the resignment almost nothing like Obi-Wan has heard before – and that is saying something, considering the ten-odd years they have broken bread and shared quarters and matched blades. Concern sinking coldly in his stomach, he stands up, paces over and settles beside his former apprentice, setting a hand on Anakin’s back in a tentative offer of comfort.

Anakin doesn’t really respond, just slumps lower, his forehead propped against his fingers, his face hidden behind his hands. Obi-Wan keeps his frown to himself, merely brushing his hand up and down Anakin’s back. He has a thousand guesses as to what Anakin means exactly, and no less than nine hundred of them would pertain to this grueling war that has covered their life in a grey pall. But assumptions are the enemy of comprehension; one who speculates will judge instead of listening at all, whereas Obi-Wan strives to be a good listener first and foremost. So he merely asks, “Would you like to talk about it, Anakin?”

Anakin lets out a slightly shuddery sigh. Obi-Wan studies him for another few moments of a silence that is not quite tense, just somewhat suffocating, like the humid air before a rainstorm. His eyes wander from the guarded curve of Anakin’s shoulders to the exhausted slouch of Anakin’s back. Between the back armor plate and ringlets of baby hair at the base of his skull, a pale strip of skin is exposed where his neck slopes like a prisoner bowing over the execution block. Obi-Wan shudders and pushes the intrusive macabre image all the way down to the bottom of his mind. He must focus on the here and now, especially the irregular pulses that spread from Anakin’s signature into the fabric of the Force around him like the throb of a dull ache.

“Ahsoka…” Anakin trails off just as he begins, but the fact that he opened up at all is already a relief. Obi-Wan says nothing, only brings his hand up to cover Anakin’s nape, giving it a grounding squeeze, in a way shielding it from the phantom blade that still haunts his mind’s eye. A minuscule intake of breath – too sharp, too much like the ghost of a sob for Obi-Wan’s liking – preludes Anakin’s wavering voice.

“I can’t—can’t train her, Master.”

Obi-Wan blinks, brows shooting up in surprise. Anakin and his own Padawan haven’t had the easiest of beginnings – what with Yoda’s doublespeak orders that led to misunderstandings and unpleasant surprises on the part of young Master and Padawan both – but Obi-Wan was almost sure that they have smoothed things out between them since. He doesn’t doubt Anakin’s care for his apprentice and Ahsoka’s respect for him likewise.

“I was under the impression that Ahsoka has been making great progress under your tutelage,” Obi-Wan says in a hushed tone, tilting his head down a little, not to force eye contact with Anakin but simply to suggest Anakin to turn to him. “What makes you say so?”

“Everything,” Anakin grits out at once, his voice taking on a watery edge. He slumps down lower, full on burying his face in his hands now, and Obi-Wan’s heart twists. “She’s been making progress because she’s just that good, Master. I didn’t do anything… She’s already trained in the reverse grip before I even taught her anything, remember?” Anakin gives a brittle laugh, breathless and humorless and fooling no one, least of all himself.

Obi-Wan bites the inside of his lips, his forehead creasing deeply in frowns as he shifts closer and slides his arm around Anakin’s shoulders in reassurance. “Lightsaber techniques are not nearly everything about being a Jedi, and you know it, Anakin. She needs a Master—”

“Then I’m not what she needs! I’m not a Master!” Anakin’s voice climbs to a near-cry. He takes in a shaky, stuttery breath and suddenly turns towards Obi-Wan, his eyes red-rimmed and downcast, a miserable frown etched into the downturned corners of his mouth. “I can’t pretend to be one anymore. I can’t take this anymore!”

Anakin’s pain pierces through his word and lodges into Obi-Wan’s heart as well. “Anakin…”

“There’s so much to do. I have to lead my battalion, I—I have to fight this war. We all have to, but I… I don’t know! I can’t do so many things at once! I can’t do right by her like this,” Anakin continues, sniffling, his flesh hand clawing into his gloved one so hard that his fingers blanch from the pressure. “I’m just—I just got Knighted this year, I don’t know anything about this. Aayla is even older than me. Why did <i>I</i> have to be the one to take on a Padawan? What, am I the only Knight in the Order who’s available to take an apprentice? I don’t get it. Anybody could have taught her better than I do.”

“Anakin, that isn’t true—”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Anakin unceremoniously cuts him off, his voice dripping with dismissal and disdain – at himself. He glares up and flinches back as soon as he meets Obi-Wan’s eyes as though only realizing then what he has been trying to hide. His gaze immediately drops, but by then Obi-Wan already saw the furious tears in his eyes. “Don’t lie just to reassure me,” Anakin mutters, roughly dragging his hand over his eyes. “Anybody else would’ve been better for her. You know that, the Council knows that, Ahsoka knows that.”

Anakin droops completely, and Obi-Wan finds it somehow both relieving and alarming that Anakin isn’t pushing off. Anakin’s need for comfort – physical comfort, especially – is nearly always at war with Anakin’s need to prove himself capable of handling everything on his own. This certainly isn’t unique to him; what is unique to him is the intense manner in which he feels, no less aggravated by the expectations that he carries on his shoulder and his incredible attunement to the Force. This is not the first time Anakin has broken down in tears from the stress of it all – his words, in fact, distinctly remind Obi-Wan of that one occasion, years ago, where he begged Obi-Wan to quiet the noise in his mind and take away the burden of being the Chosen One – but the pain it brings to Obi-Wan’s chest is the same.

“I’m sorry, Padawan mine,” Obi-Wan murmurs, squeezing Anakin lightly. He regrets making light of it when it turned out that Ahsoka was to be assigned to Anakin instead of him, to the young Knight’s surprise. He regrets taking it for granted that Anakin would just find a way to get along with this fourteen-year-old Padawan – an adolescent chock in the middle of her rebellious years and prone to challenging any authority, especially the one closest to her, the most insecure and inexperienced figure of authority, the easiest one to snip and quip at. At least when he took on Anakin as a Padawan himself, Anakin was only nine – unsure and outright frightful of his new life, but sweet and earnest – which allowed Obi-Wan a period of respite before the boy’s childish idolatry turned into a teenager’s testiness and brooding.

It’s easy to see Anakin as older than the nineteen-year-old he is; easy to believe him as capable and competent as he tries to prove himself to be; easy to consider him as bearing the full responsibility of a Jedi Knight and more, for being a prodigy, for having accomplished what he had. It’s much harder – and much more painful, especially for him who loves Anakin so – to dwell over and over on the fact that Anakin struggles in ways that one can neither fathom nor help with. There are burdens Anakin cannot share with him, phantom blades that will hurt Anakin only even if Obi-Wan volunteers to bare his neck on the execution block in his stead.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan repeats. “I did not know you were suffering. I should have stood up for you – and I would, had you objected the apprenticeship.” He pauses for a moment, rubbing up and down Anakin’s arm in soothing motions. “Why did you not say anything?”

Anakin leans limply against him, the remaining tension in his body suggesting exhaustion rather than relaxation. Obi-Wan simply holds up that weight with his own. He has always thought of it this way: if he cannot bear his former Padawan’s burden for or with him, then the least he could do is to provide shelter, absorb his hurt, cushion his fall. He would embrace Anakin’s fire with both arms until all the stars in the universe have burned out, and even then.

“I didn’t want to,” Anakin shudders out the words, turning and hiding his face in the crook of Obi-Wan’s shoulder like he’s a Padawan again and Obi-Wan welcomes the gesture like ocean waves cradling the setting sun. Anakin often hid in closets or even cracks in the wall as a child – until he apparently discovered that the safest hiding place in the universe was where he could tuck his head under his Master's chin and let himself be covered by Obi-Wan's great billowing sleeves. “Didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She’d feel rejected,” Anakin mumbles. “And… I don’t know. It felt like a mission – being her Master, I mean. I don’t—I don’t want to refuse a mission.”

“Anakin, you…” Obi-Wan lays his cheek atop Anakin’s head, letting his eyes fall shut for a moment in frustration at himself. Inane question, Kenobi. Of course he would not even try to say no to the Grandmaster’s order. This is not the time to think about who to blame, yet Obi-Wan cannot help feeling immediately at fault. He knows and has always known Anakin to be this way, ruled by not only pride but a deep-seated fear of being seen as anything less than utterly competent and fearless. He knows better than most, and so he should have known better. Of all people, he should have been the one to check on Anakin, discuss his feelings with him, speak up for him.

And how hard must it have been? How hard was it to earn the respect of someone barely five years your junior? How hard was it to assert your authority over someone you would rather just be a good friend to, just because you need to prove yourself to the authority above you? How hard was it to do all of that while trying to grow into the too-large mantle of General of the Republic, at the age of nineteen?

“Forgive me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispers, shattering inside out – from guilt and in empathy. “You are not wrong – it was a difficult and awkward situation you were in. I’m truly sorry. I wish I had come to your aid sooner.”

“I feel like I never got to be a Knight,” Anakin mumbles into the crook of his neck, his voice nasal and dangerously close to cracking. The confession is a bolt to Obi-Wan’s heart. It was how he’d felt as well, when he took Anakin under his wing immediately after his hasty graduation that followed Qui-Gon’s death. But at least it was a choice he made himself – a choice he doesn’t at all regret, looking back. He can say so with surety and fondness. Can Anakin even say so about his own apprentice? Anakin didn’t have any say in the matter to begin with. Even if he has grown close to Ahsoka, he is clearly tormented by the responsibilities that have been thrust upon him.

“It’s not like I don’t like her,” Anakin adds all of a sudden, shuffling up a little bit, clearly disquieted by Obi-Wan’s pensive silence. “She’s brilliant, I just… I’m going to fail her. I know I will. I’m not you. I wouldn’t have been able to do this even if I were twenty-five and she was nine.”

“Anakin, no,” Obi-Wan firmly hushes, frowning. Comparisons hurt. A comparison without context can poison self-perception like nothing else. He wraps his arms tighter around Anakin. “Please do not say such things. We are different – because we are different people. Look—Can you look at me, Padawan?”

He cradles Anakin’s face, and Anakin looks up through matted, darkened lashes, slightly biting down on his lower lip. With a tone as gentle as he can possibly muster, Obi-Wan speaks.

“If you’re thinking you aren’t capable of being a Master, or a good Master, then I assure you that isn’t true. I have seen your capacity for teaching, both in your methods and the results thereof. You have made progress just as Ahsoka did. I have faith in you, Anakin. However”—Obi-Wan absentmindedly wipes half a droplet of tear at the corner of Anakin’s scarred eye with the pad of his thumb—“what matters is whether you want to continue this apprenticeship. You are capable, but being capable of doing something doesn’t necessarily mean you have to force yourself to do it. Do you understand?”

Anakin watches him with a wariness that has Obi-Wan’s heart aching almost physically. It pains him so, when Anakin feels the need to tread carefully when speaking to him; he’d rather Anakin balk and brag and act brash than this. “I do, Obi-Wan,” Anakin utters syllable by syllable, chewing on his lip. “I just—don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”

His voice is rough and fragile at the same time, tearing at the raw edges like a gauze that Obi-Wan wishes he could singlehandedly hem. Anakin looks drained, with circles under his eyes that suggest he would’ve looked ashen if it wasn’t for the flush of fury and frustration from earlier, and puffed-up eyelids that look ready to shut for the rest of the day. Obi-Wan holds back a sigh and brushes Anakin’s hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear.

“That’s alright, Padawan mine,” he says, prompting Anakin to draw closer to him with a light touch. Thankfully, Anakin does, and finally wraps his arms around Obi-Wan in a returning embrace this time. “That’s quite alright. You don’t have to decide everything right now. You can take your time and rest – you’ve done enough.”

Anakin lets out a sigh so deep that Obi-Wan can physically feel the way his chest constricts against his own body. He wraps Anakin’s signature with his presence in the Force, lighting up candle after candle in the gloomy aftermath of the hurricane. Anakin shudders, and whispers. “Thank you, Master.”

“Anytime, dear one,” Obi-Wan says against the crown of his head, softly stroking his hair. “I’m here. I’ll be here.” And I will stay by your side for as long as you will have me. Here I am and here I shall remain, be it to hold up the night sky before it crumbles in your chest or patch up the stars that burn and bleed from invisible blades. I will, until the day I cannot do it any longer.

#anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #shatou writes #star wars prequels #canon is indeed questionable don’t you think

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millers-planet · 3 years

Text

Concern - Obi-Wan x F!Reader

Storyline/ Prompt: we accept the love we think we deserve. (fic inspired loosely by that quote from perks of being a wallflower)

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of abusive relationships, SAPPY

POV: Obi-Wan’s

Word Count: ~2600

I only saw her once every so often, usually when she was with Padmé, who was always with Anakin. She was never happy when she was with the senator, always crying or fixing herself up, I could only assume how she got them. She had the wrinkles of what use to be a happy person, with defined smile lines around her mouth and less-obvious forehead crinkles. However, I’ve never seen the infamous smile that must’ve caused these indents.

I picked up on her name only once, when Anakin was saying goodbye to the two ladies, “bye Padmé, Y/N.” From the second I heard her voice, I couldn’t stop thinking about what other things there was to know about her. Has she ever left Coruscant? What did she do for a living? How did she meet Padmé? Why was she always hiding bruises? I regretted every missed opportunity and chance I had to ask her these questions. She was a forbidden book, only because I knew she’d lead me down a road I couldn’t follow, not without breaking the rules I’ve sworn myself to.

These bruises haunted the echos of my thoughts. Poorly blended makeup over dark discoloration wasn’t hard to miss, especially when she was constantly trying to keep her hand on it. It wasn’t often that I saw her, but when I did, these were always a continuous look on her. I never understand why people treat precious material, precious literature that must have hundreds of stories to tell, so poorly.

While she is that locked book, this never stopped me from having small and meaningless conversation. There was one incident where she seemed happy, giving me an opening to meet her formally on a positive note. “Anakin, who’s this?” I looked at her briefly and smiled, sticking my hand out.

When she flinched at my arm moving toward her, I had to plaster a pokerface to prevent me from dropping to a concerned look. “This is Y/N, Padmé met her through the senate,” Anakin looked to her with a face that said ‘you can trust him’ which made her release a bit of tension. “Y/N, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi, he’s my Master.”

“Obi-Wan? That sounds familiar..” she eventually shook my hand and smiled as her face lit up with the answer, “General Kenobi!” She had a contagious laugh that came out gently and warm, I was finally able to see the infamous smile that has caused all of those wonderful smile-lines. Y/N seemed sweet and innocent, I would’ve believed she was this kind of person if I hadn’t seen her patch herself up so many times or if I hadn’t noticed the nearly fully healed bruised on her wrist.

Padmé interrupted me as I was about to continue the conversation, “we should get going, there’s a meeting we’re going to be late for. It was great see you Obi-Wan.” She smiled when she looked at Anakin, “by Ani.” With that, she was gone, as quickly as she appeared.

Ever since then I tried to figure out some way to get into a senate meeting with Anakin and Padmé, with the hope of seeing Y/N again. Of course, this was delusional behavior because, realistically, she could be nothing more than a fantasy... not even that. She would be trouble for me, I know I should cut things off fully with her, but part of me remained worried about her.

I began visiting at his chambers less in the morning, meaning I’d have a lower chance of running into her. This was rough at first, not only because Anakin lectured me over how he enjoyed walking to training with me, but also because the thoughts of her only intensified. I hoped that by decreasing the exposure risk of her, it’d lower this mindless obsession, but it’s only increased with curiosity about how she was doing and if she was okay.

The one time I did walk to Anakin’s chambers in the morning, Y/N was there, so was Padmé. The door had just a sliver of it open, just enough for sound to get through and enough for me to see her. She had fresh bandages on her arms and new bruises over herself, she was frantic as she cried to Padmé, “why am I still with him?”

“You need to leave him, Y/N, there is nothing good coming from this relationship.” The senator’s voice was pleading to the other politician, trying to make her realize the truth and side with reason.

Y/N swallowed down a sob as she continued on, “he said he was done with all of.... this! I believed him, too, because he didn’t for awhile, so I thought we got past it, only it was temporary.” I saw her figure stop and sit down on some bench or couch, touching her eyes to wipe away tears. “I wish I could just walk away, but it’s so much more complicated than that.”

Padmé’s voice broke from calm to persuasive with hints of anger, “but it’s not! Y/N, it is not that complicated. Pack you stuff, come move in with me, get out of there.” Her arm draped around her friend, “I’m more worried about you than ever.”

There was a pause in the conversation before they continued onward, Y/N’s sighed and stood up, “no, Padmé, I can’t. There is too much at risk if I leave. If I go, there could be so many rumors started about where my priorities are at or other stupid things. But, we both know what gossip can do to someone.” I saw Y/N walk out of view, then a door opened and then closed after a second, it sounded like the bathroom.

“What was that all about?” It was Anakin. “Actually, tell me later, Obi-Wan is probably here. Bye.” He opened the door and swiftly closed it behind him, pushing a loose hair out of his face before smiling, “good morning, Master. I didn’t keep you waiting long, did I?”

I shook my head slightly before walking toward the training hall, “no, I got here only just a moment ago.” I shouldn’t ask about what just happened, though, what if she really is in danger? It’s not like it’s any of my business, though... “Early morning company?”

“Yeah, Padmé and Y/N came over again. She is going through a bit of a rough patch with her boyfriend, that’s all. When she wants to get away, her and Padmé come over to my chambers because-” Anakin caught himself as if he was about to say something he shouldn’t. “Because they know he won’t come searching near the Jedi area.”

Ever since then, not a moment passed by when she didn’t cross my thoughts. At night, I began romanticizing the idea of rescuing her, like some hero. I stir up dreams of following her back to her place and going to it when only her “lover” was home, just to show him a lesson. I have to remember, despite all this, that my job here is only to be a peacekeeper, but the idea of taking that forward step into this seems like the right answer.

When I was making pretend-scenarios of this rescue-op, I would imagine engaging in a conversation with her after I ran into her confessing the truths of her relationship to Padmé. I would generate possible starters of how I would ask her about all of this, possible things I would say to comfort her, or just all-around things to talk to her about. Maybe, instead of convincing her to just leave her boyfriend, I could convince her to leave him for me.

No, that’s selfish. I can’t do that just because I like the idea of her, just because she’s what occupies my thoughts most of the days. There are so many rules I’m breaking just now, without even talking to her anymore. If I was wise, I would talk about this to Master Yoda. If I was wise, I would have Anakin talk to her for me because he would have a bigger chance of making any impact, since I’m only a General she knows nothing about.

To compromise with myself, I’ll be... somewhat oblivious. I’ll forget what I’ve heard and seen, only if it doesn’t come up again. I will quit all of these meaningless thoughts and daydreaming because they are doing me no good, but if I run into her crying in Anakin’s chambers more than often, I’ll engage in those conversation that should remain solely as a fantasy. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened, three times in just a week.

It was the same conversation between Y/N and Padmé, only this time each of them was more emotional. I wasn’t able to hear anything other than, “Y/N, he is going to hurt you so bad you won’t recover, and I won’t know what to do.” This was the final straw, this has begun to spiral out of control and I need to step in, in some way.

Just at the perfect timing, Anakin came through the door. Before he could say good morning, as he usually does, I intervened. “I can’t pretend anymore that I’m blind to what’s going on between Y/N and her boyfriend. Anakin, what is happening? Why is she still with him?”

My padawan sighed as he guided us toward our usual walk, only slower. “They have been together for a few years, since they both began in the public sector of work. It wasn’t always like this, according to Padmé. They were both happy, for a long time, but ever since the trade issues began, the way she’s been treated has declined.” Anakin stopped talking and turned to face me, pulling me to the side, looking me head-on. “You can’t say anything about this, I’m technically not even supposed to know. Please, Obi-Wan, pretend this never happened.”

“Anakin, something has to be done, there has to be something we can do for her.” My voice was pleading, when I realized how concerned I sounded, I noticed how suspicious it was, as well, for me to be so concerned for a politician. “You know that if I could, I would leave this alone, but the conversations between Padmé and Y/N in the mornings have progressed so much. They’ve turned from conversations of advice to conversations of begging for reason,” my voice was firm and less emotional, making me seem more serious, hopefully.

He sighed and looked around, considering a response. “Do what you want, but you didn’t hear any of this from me. Talk to her tonight, she’ll be at my chambers again with Padmé, most likely.” I furrowed my brows together, in confusion. “It’s what’s been happening these past few nights, so it’s a possibility she’ll do it again. She leaves about 7 to go back home. Now, can we go?” I nodded and continued our normal regimen, only, my mind was galaxies away.

If she lives in her chambers, I could take the long way around to my chambers, then break off to head to Anakin’s, making me run into her. However, if she lives with her boyfriend in his room, then I’m out of luck. Though, if I take the main lobby, that increased the chance of our paths colliding, but it’d make it more public. I can’t walk back with Anakin because it’d be too obvious.

I need to clear my mind, I shouldn’t be trying to plan ahead like this, I will know what is right when the time calls for it. Whatever feels like the proper path will be the correct choice, but I can’t know what it is until then. If I’m going to talk to her tonight, I should have that clear head to make proper decisions. I’ll meditate until then, Anakin has his own tasks to do today, I believe he was meeting with the Chancellor.

Pulling myself together as I sat down on an open spot with a nice view, I took deep breaths. My focus drifted away from all of these issues at hand and just drifted off. Everything relaxed, everything was still, and everything made sense again. I forget what really matters in this universe, and coming back to here makes it all better. I was in this state of meditation for a few hours, occasionally interrupted from loud distraction that were brief as I pulled myself back into concentration. When I was finally out, it was just a little before seven, giving me plenty of time to take that long route to my chambers.

I walked at a steady pace, not thinking ahead of the conversations we might have or of anything else, other than my destination. Keeping this clear mind will be fine, whatever happens, happens. Me overthinking does nothing to help, these past few hours has helped me realize that. The familiar hall designs pulled me from my zen state, I was in my hallway, with Y/N just a few feet down the hall. “Obi-Wan?” she called happily, picking up the pace to catch up to me.

The biggest smile spread across my face as those beautiful smile lines beamed right back at me, her bubbly aura flowing off of her. However, her body spoke a different energy, it cried out with pain and discomfort as the bruises stuck out like sore thumbs. “Hey, Y/N, right?” She nodded. “Are you alright, you look a little.... shaken up?”

She sighed shakily, she smile never leaving her face as she hesitantly rubbed her arm that was coated with markings. “Yeah, everything’s all good, how are you?” I pushed her hand down, off of her arm, revealing the dark welts once more. “Obi-Wan, please, don’t. I hear enough from Padmé.”

“I think we both know what needs to happen, I think we all know what is the best.” Her smile finally broke off of her face, her lip quivering. “You are so strong, Y/N, but there is so much love in you that’s being thrown away by wasting it on your boyfriend.” I put her chin between my thumb and index finger and pulled her weepy eyes to look at mine.

My hand instinctively moved up to her cheek, cupping it gently, she leaned into it, obviously comforted by it. “I don’t know how to do it, I feel like I’m throwing so many years of my life away.” She pulled away as she dried her tears, “I know there’s nothing left for me with him, but I can’t let go, there’s so many things I’m ruining by letting go.”

I sighed, “what was there was ruined long ago, Y/N.” She began tearing up as she heard what I said, not calling me out on it, obviously realizing what I said was true. “If you want, you can spend the night with me. You can come sleep on this tonight and do it tomorrow. Or, I’ll take you to him and you can do it now, then we can head back to my place.”

Her sniffles quickly ended as she wiped her sleeve on her nose, looking up to me with those watery eyes that just melted every bit of me. “Really?” I nodded. “Can we do it tonight? I know I won’t have the energy to face him tomorrow.”

“Of course we can, I’ll walk you there. You just go inside, make things quick, stay in there for as little as possible, you might just make things worse if you’re in there for awhile.” I saw her hands fidget and shake as I went on, just wanting to prepare her. “I’m right outside, though. If I hear anything, you won’t be alone.”

She nodded and began to lead the way. “Obi?”

“Yeah?”

Y/N ran herself into me and let out a built-up sigh, “thank you,” she spoke softly as she briefly wrapped her arms around me before moving forward.

tags: @blondekel77 @mysticdeerpolice @gabile18

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#obi wan #obi-wan #obi wan x y/n #obi wan x reader #obi-wan x you #obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi #star wars #sw fanfic #star wars fanfic #star wars x reader #jedi #jedi knight

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redrobinhoood · 4 years

Text

Please... | Whumptober2020

“Get it Out” | “Stop, please”

TW: Blood, Mentions of Death

A/N: Requested by @kitcatkim. Went hard on this one, hope I lived up to your expectation!

Summary: Obi-Wan and Cody lead a mission to scout out what appears to be an abandoned Separatist base.

AO3 Link | Whumptober Index

“Ready, Commander?”

Cody raised his head from his datapad to meet Obi-Wan’s gaze. “If you finally are.”

“And what does that mean?”

Cody refused to take Obi-Wan’s outstretched hand when he stood up. “We’ve all been waiting for quite some time for your arrival.”

A shout came from the waiting gunship. “It’s been a very long two minutes, General.”

“I see, then let’s not dally any longer or I’ll be caught up in whatever mess Anakin’s gotten himself into again.”

Cody gave his helmet a spin in his hands before setting it on his head. “Very good.”

As the two men turned towards the gunship, Obi-Wan pressed his hand against Cody’s back. He let it longer for a moment too long- just long enough for Cody to know, but not long enough that the men would suspect anything- before he drew back. “Any new developments in the time I’ve been gone?” He asked once they had boarded the gunship.

Cody waited until the doors closed before he responded. “None that I’ve heard. Still looks abandoned. But I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Obi-Wan turned to the sergeant beside him. “Any bets today?”

“Currently, we’re tied on whether we’ll be shot down or not. You’re the tiebreaker.”

“Has Cody voted?”

Cody slowly turned his head to the side to fix Obi-Wan with the blank stare of his helmet. “I don’t like to invite catastrophe, unlike some men.”

Obi-Wan smirked and turned back to the sergeant. “Very well. I’ll vote that we’ll be shot down. It’s been too quiet around here.”

“Hear hear, sir!”

Obi-Wan looked back to Cody, who had turned forward to stare at the approaching planet through the slits in the gunship walls. “Is that satisfactory for you?”

“Let’s just say I hope that I don’t have to say ‘I told you so’ anytime soon.” Cody gently elbowed Obi-Wan, poking the point of his armor into Obi-Wan’s side.

“How painful that would be.” Obi-Wan let go of the gunship handle to bring up the holomap of what had been mapped out of the planet’s surface below. All helmets turned towards him as he began a quick briefing on what to expect on the surface. He stopped midsentence when the gunship shuddered and the lights went out.

“Obi-Wan?” The last thing Obi-Wan saw before he was thrown across the ship was Cody looking to him for answers.

When he came to again, Obi-Wan found himself in the rear of the gunship, legs tangled in the walker they had brought with them. He groaned as he became aware of an ache in his torso, he must’ve slammed into the walker before his legs did. When he untangled his legs and rose onto his hands and knees with a groan he realized that he was kneeling on the gunship wall. He raised his head to see sunlight filtering in from where there had once been a door. He followed the path of the light to a pile of yellow and white armor. Using the walker, he pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the strain it put on his bruised torso, and stumbled over to the center of the ship. His eyes scanned over the dead bodies of his men, searching for the one that he didn’t want to see. When they locked on a familiar helmet, barely visible to him behind what remained of the door, Obi-Wan fought through the tangle of bodies and plastoid to fall to his knees beside Cody. He reached out to his commander and was surprised to feel life still moving through him in the Force. Obi-Wan fought down a sob and gently removed Cody’s helmet, taking joy in watching the way his hair fell from the helmet to his forehead in loose curls.

Obi-Wan took hold of the gunship door in the Force. He had just begun to lift it when a cry and a pained voice interrupted him.

“Stop, please, stop.”

Obi-Wan stopped, not moving the door further away but also not daring to let it fall back down. “Cody. It’s me.” Keeping his focus in the Force, he reached a hand down to cup Cody’s jaw and turn his face towards him. All thoughts of the gunship door left his head when his hand came back bloody and he noticed the small trickle of blood that was making its way down Cody’s cheek. His focus was brought back to the situation at hand when Cody groaned as the door sunk back into his chest. Obi-Wan lowered his hand to Cody’s chest, resting it right above the bloodying wound. “Cody.”

Cody’s eyelids fluttered open at the sound of his name and a tired smile graced his lips at the man before him. “Cyar’e.” He mumbled.

Obi-Wan took his other hand and gently wiped away the blood from Cody’s lips. “I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

“I told you so.” Cody muttered against Obi-Wan’s thumb, the slight exhale of speech pushing more blood down his lips.

“Yes, you did.” Obi-Wan felt a tear slide down his cheek. “I shouldn’t have joined the bet.”

Cody parted his lips to respond, but his attempt at speech ended in a bloody cough that sprayed blood droplets onto Obi-Wan’s robes.

Obi-Wan reached his arm behind Cody’s neck and leaned against the gunship floor that now served as the wall beside Cody. He pulled Cody’s head down onto his shoulder and leaned his own against him, careful not to tug his torso against the door. “I’ve got you, love.”

Cody didn’t respond and Obi-Wan felt another tear tracing its way down his cheek to join the first at the hollow, wet sound of Cody’s breath. He wanted to beg Cody to stay with him, plead with him to stay awake, to keep fighting. But he couldn’t. Attachment was forbidden for a Jedi, love less so, and he didn’t know if he could ever allow himself to feel the devotion that so many beings across the galaxy felt. Now, Obi-Wan understood why. If a Sith Lord were to show up at this moment and ask him to fall to the Dark Side to save Cody’s life, he would. He would forsake everything for him. But a Sith Lord was not here right now, so Obi-Wan pulled Cody tighter and closed his eyes, focusing on the life still in his love.

He didn’t hear the approaching gunship, didn’t hear the footsteps outside, didn’t hear the conversation growing closer until they were on him and he found himself being pulled away from Cody. Obi-Wan fought the arms for a moment before he gave in and watched Anakin cut away the wing of the ship from Cody’s body, allowing a team of medics to move him onto a stretcher. He found himself moving towards the stretcher, being pushed and pulled along by the captain who had pulled him back. On the gunship, he collapsed onto the ground in Rex’s arms and watched the medics flitting around the stretcher, clinging to the feeble spark of life coming from it.

---

Over the next two weeks, Obi-Wan led the 212th in a campaign against the Separatist forces that ended in their eventual defeat. When he returned to the Venator after negotiating the terms of surrender, he decided to shower before visiting Cody in the medbay. The last he had heard of him, he was in an induced coma as the medics strived to fight off infection.

To Obi-Wan’s surprise, he found Cody laying across his bed, datapad in hand and signing off on some forms. Cody looked up at his arrival, lips blossoming into a smile at Obi-Wan’s presence. “Hello, cyar’e.”

Obi-Wan crossed the room to the bed in two strides, leaning down to take Cody’s lips in his. He didn’t protest when Cody wrapped an arm around him and pulled him down to his side. Obi-Wan pulled back from the kiss when Cody flinched under his touch. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“Just don’t touch anything in the front.” Cody maneuvered Obi-Wan’s hand to a safe spot on the side of his hip and curled up beside him, resting his head against Obi-Wan’s chest.

“Cody, love, I need to shower.”

“Well, I need you here with me. Which one are you going to choose?”

Obi-Wan shook his head and kicked off his boots, letting them fall onto the ground beside his bed, before bringing his other hand up from under him to lay between Cody’s cheek and the pillow. He traced the bottom of Cody’s scar with his thumb, the familiar sensation returning the comfort that had been missing for the last two weeks. He ran his fingers over the scar tissue until Cody’s breaths deepened into a peaceful sleep. Only then did Obi-Wan close his eyes and follow him.

#codywan #obi-wan kenobi #commander cody #whumptober2020 #no.6 #get it out #stop please #blood tw #mentions of death tw #star wars #the clone wars #fic #my fics

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letitrainathousandflames-archive · 6 years

Text

So @avada-matata said that she’d like me to write the fanfic of Ahsoka meeting Ventress after leaving the Jedi order so here’s the opening setup. If ya’ll like it, I’ll continue it.

Rating: Teens and Up

Warnings: Angst. Lots of it.

Characters: Ahsoka Tano, Asajj Ventress

Additional Tags: Ahsoka as Ventress apprentice, not as a Sith!Au but as a possibility that actually fits perfectly in canon-verse, Ahsoka leaves the order and meets Ventress, Ventress reluctantly accepts her as a padawan, it goes from there, there’s no shipping, i repeat no shipping between them ok?, onwards then!

For the first time, she had nowhere to go.

The Jedi temple had been her home, her resting place, her training grounds. The Jedi had been her friends, her brothers in arms, her family. All of a sudden, she had nothing. A home to go back to, or a family waiting for her. Uncertainty gnawed at her, of course. The image of her silka braid on Anakin’s palm haunted her still. If she had taken it… If she had accepted to come back to them…

Ahsoka shakes her head and continues to walk in the streets of Coruscant. It’s nighttime and she sees the strangers walking by looking at the lightsabers on her belt with a mix of respect and fear. So much for being peacekeepers. Even the civilians are afraid of the Jedi now.

She is about to take a turn on a corner when someone grabs her shoulder.

“Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka turns on her heels raising her fists in a fighting stance ready to punch to then meet the face of a familiar kel dor.

“Master Plo!” she exclaims, quickly abandoning her aggressiveness but remaining wary still; she wouldn’t forget how quickly the Jedi turned against her, not that easily “Is… is there something wrong?”

Plo sighed through his steel filters, shaking his head.

“You...left. You really did. I had thought that you would reconsider.”

Ahsoka lowered her eyes for a moment.

“The Jedi council treated me like a criminal with little to no evidence, master. I could’ve been jailed for life, I could’ve died in that mad pursuit.”

“And we apologize for this, Ahsoka, myself more than anyone. I knew something was off, I knew you would never…”

“Then why didn’t you speak up?”

A drop of rain hits the sidewalk between the former padawan and the Jedi master, and Plo looks away as the people pace out of the streets for cover; in minutes the rain begins to pour down and it runs over Plo’s wrinkled face and over his mask. Ahsoka blinks the raindrops away and crosses her arms, waiting.

“I tried to. But the situation as it seemed to the majority of the council… Master Secura grew very worried when she heard that you had teamed up with Ventress and was attacking clone troopers…”

“None of whom were harmed!” Ahsoka argues

“…I know.” Plo says in a pacifying tone “I do know that. But you didn’t listen to your master, and you tried to run, and you were found in the scene of the crime… Stars, Ahsoka, do you know how terrible this looked?”

Ahsoka’s eyes narrow at Plo’s.

“You were supposed to trust me! All of you! After all I’ve done, after the risks I faced… I’m sixteen, Master Plo, and I’ve risked my life on sieges and bombings and Force knows what else with troopers and generals! I expected trust from you!”

“And we trusted Barriss.” Plo says with pain in his features “Wholeheartedly. Look what it did to us, to you. Ahsoka, we placed our trust in the wrong padawan. Can you blame us?”

Ahsoka snarls. The streets are empty now, everyone has taken cover from the rain in the nearby cafés and stores, and the storm rages on, drenching Ahsoka to the socks in her boots.

“Yes! Yes I can! You’ve had to have defended me from the Republic! I was arrested! They were discussing death penalty! They would’ve made me face an armed execution battalion of our own clone troopers! Men I could’ve had fought alongside with would have shot me dead!” Ahsoka sniffles, and she is suddenly aware that the water streaming down her cheeks is not only rain “You dragged me from my people, from my family, from my home! I was five years old, master!” she sobs now, air short in her lungs, her airway congested “You placed me in the temple and had me raised in those walls, you had me taught of your principles! Your Order made me Anakin’s apprentice and they made me fight and bleed and risk my life for your war and just like that you were ready to discard me like a broken droid over unfunded accusations! Over lies!”

She clamps a hand over her trembling lips, sobs making her shoulders quiver sharply.

“How could you?!” she says, her words muffled by her hand “I thought we were friends. I thought we were family!”

At that, Plo takes a step towards her, and before Ahsoka can do anything, he pulls her into his arms, hugging her tight. Ahsoka wails at once, gripping on Plo’s cloak as she hugs him back, crying so hard even herself can’t make a thing of the words that come out between sobs. Plo runs a hand on the back of her montrals. He has a big frame and his embrace is warm and welcoming and Ahsoka wishes it wasn’t. She wishes she could just turn her back on him and spit on his face and—

“Don’t let this anger take over.” Plo says in an urgent whisper “The force is strong within you, lil’Soka. Very strong. It may be hard to harness, and balance may feel impossible at times. But I beg you, my dear, don’t let the darkness take over your heart. It’s not the Jedi way.”

Ahsoka tries to answer, tries to say that she is no longer a Jedi, but she only manages to cry softly with her face pressed against Plo’s shoulder. He rocks her back and forth very gently in his arms.

“Wherever you go, wherever you new path leads you to, I will be always there for you, Ahsoka. You master too. Anakin trusts you, he always had. Obi-Wan and him had a… heated discussion after you left. He wanted to leave, to go after you or… or maybe after something else that lures him now, and following you sounded like the perfect excuse. But I believe this moment is the one in which your path will split up.” he gently cups her chin making Ahsoka look up to him “But maybe they will be joined again someday.”

Plo lets go of Ahsoka, draws a step away from her to then reach for her hand, placing a small pile of credit chips on her palm.

“For any trouble that may occur.” He closes her hand “Never forget that the temple will be always open for you, padawan. May the Force be with you.”

Ahsoka nods. She doesn’t want to correct him, for this may be the last time she will listen to Plo referring to her as “padawan”. Instead she nods a few times, pocketing the money and sniffling.

“May the Force be with you, master Plo.”

She turns her back on him and start walking again. She hesitates to then look over her shoulder, but he is no longer in the street. Ahsoka shrugs and shivers, rushing to the nearest shelter from the cold rain and missing her comfortable room in the temple while simultaneously trying to stop thinking of the place as her home.

This is who she is now: homeless, without a family and with a tarnished reputation. What will be of former jedi apprentice Ahsoka Tano?

#ahsoka #asajj ventress #plo koon #my fics #ventress' padawan ahsoka au #tcw #sw

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tempest-in-the-storm · 7 years

Text

JEDI AU

Okay so when Anakin is about four years old, Shmi gets two little visitors

Obviously concerned but these kids seem different, like her little boy currently napping in the other room

They seem to know Anakin and even more so that he was born without a father, similarly, the children say, to their own births

And that’s how Shmi meets her son’s Force siblings Luke and Lyra Eyes a glowing, they promise to protect Anakin on his path in the years to come

Shmi: ?????

But then they’re gone and Shmi never sees them again

TIME JUMP

Before Qui Gon Jinn came across Anakin Skywalker with Padme, he visited Jedha, where he had felt this huge ripple in the force (Little does he know this was the twin’s way of making a beacon to call him in)

He was snooping around and he came across the source; two kids about nine years old and when he learned that they were orphans he was like “fuck the rules” and low-key adopted them, under the guise of taking them to Jedi School

They took his last name, which probably pissed off some of the older folks on the Jedi Council but legit no one fucked with those kids because they the Force draped around them like some kind of tent

No one knew what the deal was with that

Since the Jedi Council was kind of skewed, the twins joined up with the Gray Jedi who were a lot more chill and were absolutely syked to get two strong force sensitive children

And so were born the little green eyed shadows :)

Anyways a couple of years of their training goes by, and the events of The Phantom Menace go into motion, but the appearance of Anakin has the two twins flocking to him.

They’re only a few years older than him, but with Luke and Lyra Jinn acting like bodyguards to the newest Jedi Padawan leads to ALOT less resistance from the Jedi Council

Which Qui Gon didn’t really plan to happen but is secretly happy about

Meanwhile Obi Wan is so fucking tired and oh my god Master you can’t keep adopting all these kids it’s against the rules

Qui Gon gives absolutely no fucks to this

Then oh noes he dies and Obi Wan is left with three kids, two of which are kind of low maintenance and can do fine on their own, but Anakin is another matter.

Of course, the teens sibs know that this won’t do and push against all the hate shooting towards Anakin, who they mother hen the shit out of

Anakin protests, but he secretly loves that there are those who are openly showing affection towards him and he won’t complain if they tag along wherever he goes and vice versa

ANOTHER TIME JUMP

They’re older, Palpatine is being a dick in the Senate which Padme is obviously pissed about

On the other hand, besides being the two badass assassins that take care of threats towards their brother and the galaxy before they even come to light, they are probably the biggest supporters of the love fest forming between Padme and Anakin

Less hiding in that department equals a stronger relationship between the two and nothing could ruin this- with the exception of the shit that is Darth Sidious that Luke in particular has been keeping an eye on any and all attempts of his to start to lure the chosen one to the dark side and thwarts them and honestly, Palpatine is certain he will never make any progress while those two are around

He won’t even bother with turning them

They’re too light, too steadfast, with impenetrable minds and practically chameleons with blending in.

Too slippery and too dangerous

Literally only a select few know of the green eyed jedi spies So they gotta go

Meanwhile on the many adventures of Luke and Lyra they come across a young brilliant genius who seems to have captured Lyra’s heart and soul

Normally Luke would be bristling at such unknown man threatening their balance, but he has a good eye, this man is good and he’s brilliant but kind

Luke makes a show of begrudgingly giving his blessing

Still no fucks are given towards the council when they get married, but Lyra does take a break when she gets pregnant

Excitement all around

Lyra and Padme chatting while the boys fool around takes up a period of months

Obi Wan is honestly frazzled because these two have literally flipped his world upside down and he deals with enough shit from Anakin who is training his own padawan

Ashoka is unfortunately the only one nearby when Lyra’s water breaks

But she is badass and remains completely chill even as Luke and Anakin are flipping out and Galen is approaching this all with a calm clear head as he helps bring his little girl into the world

Everyone’s crying when Galen offers the name Jyn as a tribute to her grandfather’s last name Jinn, as her last name will be Erso

Luke is DEFINITELY sobbing when he is appointed godfather and holds the little bundle in his arms and whispers “Kyberheart” and “Stardust” to his niece.

When Anakin is offered a chance to hold her, he freaks and tries to run from the room, but yo, Ashoka’s got that covered and barricades the door with her body.

He’s still panicking when he takes his friend’s daughter into his arms, she’s your niece too Anakin, you’re our brother remember?

But then she yawns and his heart swells to fill the room and suddenly he wants this and he’s looking at Padme and she is looking back and he smiles, holding his niece closer Jyn is loved very much, and absolutely can not wait to be taken as a padawan under her uncle Luke

She’s the flower girl at Padme’s and Anakin’s wedding attended by her parents, and uncle

And then the accident happens

Palpatine the little shit has been waiting a long time to put the twins out of commission and nearly succeeds, throwing them both into comas

The days grow darker Palpatine sinks his claws into Anakin, along with the growing fear for Padme

Jyn knows something is wrong the day the air seems to shift when her uncle Anakin enters the temple and immediately hides, nervous of the approaching storm

She is not slaughtered with the other children

But her panic along with the drastic shift in the Force is enough to bring Luke and Lyra out of their months long comas, and they are fucking sprinting despite their weak bodies, grabbing their weapons and cloaks because something is wrong with their brother and the Force is chanting for them to run before the youngest of the Force’s children crosses a line he cannot cross back from

Lyra rushes to Padme’s side, stopping several assassinations and hostages situations from taking place, but of course she’s been in a fucking coma for months so she’s a bit beaten up

She’s still scared though, because her child is scared and there is so much death haunting the temple and that is where her daughter is

Meanwhile, Uncle Luke is soaring to Jyn’s rescue like the super Jedi he is, and he is to say the least absolutely pissed that people are trying to murder his four year old niece, and suddenly all the clones are beginning to understand why he was called the green eyed assassin, because with a cloak hanging over his gray robes- a cloak that is as dark and brutal as the darkness of space, and glowing green eyes like the predatory glare of a wolf, they only see that that is death incarnate and they know they are carrion

There are so many and above all Luke fears for what Anakin has done

And no it does not break his heart when his niece begs him with tears in her eyes to save Uncle Anakin, because she caught a glimpse of him and the light is fading within him so fast

They can’t tell enemy from ally and Mama Lyra swoops in on a brutalized leg to save her brother and daughter

Luke has to physically tear his niece from her mother, who is silently shaking at the knowledge that her daughter is still too young to fully be able to remember her, and that she will grow up motherless

Her saber is broken, the remnants of the crystal on a makeshift cord around her neck Jyn’s small fingers grasp onto this crystal tearing it from her mother’s neck

Lyra does not like this symbolic passing of the torch, it hollows her to her bare bones

There is rage within her though, when she is brought to her knees before the beginning formations of the Empire and recognizes her husband’s old friend standing before her with a cold sneer on his face

Krennic who mocks her sacrifice and soothes her with the knowledge that she will be put down like the dog she is

Krennic does not know that the twins can receive glimpses of the future, and that when a flash of an image, of her daughter standing boldly in front of a crowd, crying rebellion, she smiles a wolf’s snarl you will never win

Luke and Jyn both feel the pain of her mother being beheaded, and the cold gap she leaves in the Force in the seconds afterwards

Luke is actually brought to his knees because the vacuum of space would be easier to breathe in than this corridor right now

But there is a hand in his, and he remembers to stand and keep going forward

He knows where Anakin is because there is a trail of death following him, both visible and not, and it churns Luke’s gut for his little brother to have become so corrupted, because he was not there, and then he finds him

Jyn has hidden but despite telling her to go, he knows she is watching

The confrontation almost does not happen, there are countless soldiers in the way but Luke sweeps past all of them, for he is one with the force and the force is with him, and they both intend to save what is left of that light in Anakin Skywalker

The remaining green eyed wolf is a force of nature, to be reckoned with and the appearance of Darth Sidious himself changes nothing as he confronts the boy that he watched grew up, that was the Force’s will for him to protect

If all three children of the force had been created with such a vast capability to love how could that be wrong

That the change Anakin would bring would change the wrong, but that giving into that endless rage would drown out any form of happiness because it is a fire that only burns everything

That is what he screams to his brother as they clash sabers, blue against gold

There are tears in both brothers’ eyes as Luke places a hand against Anakin’s chest, where his heartbeat pulses with the last light of a lost soul

And then he becomes a shiskebab on Palpatine’s lightsaber

Anakin’s true end is there the moment he watches his brother die in front of him

The brother who clasps onto his arm, leans in close and whispers Luke shall be your salvation, with a green glow in his eyes

With his last breath, Luke prays to the Force, and places what is left of him as a shield to his brother’s soul, to that last flickering light in the darkness, and shuts his eyes

He thinks This is not the end and this thought echoes in the silence of a thousand worlds, as all hear that call of hope and idea of rebellion

It echoes in Jyn Erso’s mind as she watches the light in her uncle Luke’s body flicker out and fade to nothing and she cannot work up anymore tears to cry

She watches the others walk away from Luke’s cooling corpse, Anakin the lone figure standing over it, and the tears that fall down his face as he stares at his fallen brother

Later, on a planet lightyears away, This is not the end whispers in Padme’s mind as she holds her children in her arms, so much like Lyra and Luke that she almost cannot bear it

She cannot help from bestowing her boy, whose heart already overflows with kindness after her husband’s most loyal protecter, who stood by him even as he grappled with the dark

And she dies knowing that somewhere out there is Jyn Erso, daughter of her friends and family, and who will someday meet her children and give them a home as well

Jyn and her father escape with the help of an old family friend Saw, who handles the heartbroken child with care

Her father’s whispers of Stardust are like salt in a wound and she curls into herself

Later she will learn to hide herself within the Force, to wrap it around her like a shell and shield her from the rest of the galaxy, and to pack away her robes, and everything of her family

But she can’t bear to be parted with her mother’s necklace

Not even on the day when the men come for her father and her and she flees to their bunker all the while her soul is screaming to turn back

When Saw Guerra retrieves her she does not cry

She is emotionless and allows herself to be honed like a tool, to fall on duty as a crutch to deal with her losses and the fact that she has grown numb to the Force, that she has not felt it for quite some time

Until she accompanies Saw to a meeting with the Rebel Alliance and meets Princess Leia for the very first time and she knows

She doesn’t know how to react to this

But what she does know is that she will protect this girl because she is a Jinn and she has to believe in the Skywalkers and all that they can do

TBC

#i told yall i would do this #this is a rough draft #part 1 #the jedi au stemmed from the one minor concept that Jyn's mother was going to be a jedi #and i WENT WITH IT #jedi au #jyn was a jedi in training #sw #star wars #rogue one #star wars au

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