#which isn't true for age 12-13
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here's what i think would happen if, instead of in their mid teens, wangxian had met at the age of:
1-5 years old: Instant Attachment, especially from babyji. those two kids who for some inexplicable reason just rly love being together even if they're so different they'd be glued to each other all the time, and even though wei ying would play with other kids, he'd always come back to sulky a-zhan's side. both are very very protective of each other too!
6-10 years old: you know that childhood friendship that just sticks with you, even if it didn't last for long? that friend you made during that one trip and never spoke with again, that kid who lived across your street and you still remember their landline number, a girl who shared her toys with you at the beach and you looked for seashells with. that type of friendship like from this post. lwj might have been hesitant at first, but very quickly they would have developed a deep bond, and affected each other so deeply in ways they would only realize much later. this age is CRUCIAL to your development as a person, and it's no coincidence that canonverse, this is also the age that both wangxian were extremely alone and vulnerable. theyd have a lot of fun playing together, and if they met again as adults, they'd both probably cry
12-13 year olds: a very performative age, where you're starting to try and find a place in the world and in society. lwj would be even more stubborn and even unfair to wwx, while wwx's teasing might actually get into cruel territory. if they first met at this age, i think they actually WOULD hate each other, might even end up fistfighting skfhksdh and no, it doesn't help that this is the age where you first start experiencing attraction. lwj would NOT cope well with *gestures vaguely* ALL THAT
#at my old work i used to deal with kids of various ages and it shows#cab you tell im soft at the idea of wx meeting at age 6-10#THEY NEEDED EACH OTHER SO MUCH AT THIS AGE IN CANONVERSEM AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE OTHER EXISTED#but yeah even in a modern au this would be just. so good#things would have been so so different if they had met at that age#it's kinda the last stretch of time where kids feel very genuine before teen years when they start Experiencing The World and Society#15-16 is still young and immature. but they were both kinda settled in who they were#which isn't true for age 12-13#their conflicts at that age would be so much worse#but yeah uh. i love that mdzs gives us wangxian in diff staged of their lives#but i need MORE#modao#lace speaks
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times never let me go said: happy pride! 🏳️🌈
(a mostly unserious post made entirely for my own entertainment)
this outfit
2. palm showing up at nueng's house and immediately inducing gay panic with the sluttiest soulmate-coded introduction possible until ourskyy 2
3. nuengdiao's gay little finger pointing (which happens at least 3 times in episode 1)
4. gaslight gatekeep girlboss
5. okay... 👀
6. local boy continues the age-old tradition of falling in love with a twink after seeing him play piano
7. (meeting ben) perhaps gay-on-gay violence is justified sometimes
8. nueng and palm flirt in the backseat. live chanon reaction:
9. update: gay-on-gay violence is definitely justified sometimes
10. phum taking a sec to call palm handsome before breaking a stool over his back (huh i wonder if that might mean anything)
11. okay... 👀 (pt. 2)
12. nuengdiao deciding to get wasted even though he's deathly allergic to alcohol because palm's talking to a girl (we love a messy!gay)
13. nueng standing up for himself when the homophobic principal and ben's dad insinuate that it was wrong for ben and him to kiss and telling them to punish whoever leaked the photo instead
14. "you're an adult now. you can eat whatever you want!!" slay thanks khun tanya :)
15. what if we were both boys... and we kissed on a rooftop at night under ambiguous circumstances... and it was episode 5...
16. our established couple besties wu and david <3
17. "your lips are burning and swollen" okay?? gay ass
18. gay beach wedding. enough said.
19. palm asking "is this how couples kiss?" after eating nueng's face like be fucking for real right now
20. male-male soulmates existing since the dawn of time and being an established part of mythological lore
21. palm: has gay sex one (1) time and immediately gets a tattoo of his lover's name
22. palm's face when nueng says he might confess his love to a woman one day lmaooooo
23. palm and nueng talking about how their mothers gave them the courage to be themselves and confess their love for each other
24. nueng: we need to show uncle kit that he can't mess with us. the plan: serve cunt
25. tanya immediately waking up from her coma when nueng says he wants her to see him with his boyfriend. true ally behavior!
26. WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
27. message received
28. wow so glad it isn't like that anymore! oh wait...
29. (about to die) time to educate some assholes!!
stopping here because of the (deeply homophobic) 30-image-per-post limit, but feel free to add more below!! happy pride from p'jojo, palmnueng, and co. 🏳️🌈
#never let me go#never let me go the series#nlmg#this is what i do with my free time haha please enjoy
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Thinking about the fact that during the gusu lectures arc Huiasang has apparently been going every year for the last 3 years, but he isn't older than the others. He can't be any older than Zixuan because Meng yao is canonically younger than Zixuan, yet Huaisang calls him "san-ge" which means Meng Yao is older than Huaisang. So maybe Zixuan is way older than the other kids there, except in the novel it was mentioned that they were all around 15 to 16. And Huaisang also calls himself around Wei Wuxian's and Lan Wangji's age. Which means Nie Mingjue has been sending Huaisang to gusu summer camp since he was like 12 years old.
I'm relatively sure that you're just supposed to chalk that up to nmj's general gung-ho-ness about Huaisang and training like wowww he's so intense! HOWEVER. We are not here to take the easy route we are here to overthink. So I have 2 alternate headcanons.
1. Nie Mingjue went to the gusu lectures at an unusually young age himself.
So we know Nie Mingjue's father died when he was between the ages of 10 and 15, generally assumed to be a little on the older side of that spectrum, 14 or 15-ish. Considering that he was, you know, allowed to acually inherit the sect and it didn't topple down, nor did a coup occur or did any of his advisors use him as a puppet ruler. And I'm not sure a 10 year old is capable of handling all of that. We also know that Nie Mingjue's father got wounded in a night hunt that Nie Mingjue was present for, as he saw his father's saber shatter himself, and that it took 6 months for Lao Nie to actually die from his injuries. During that entire timeframe, and afterwards- as I presume sect leaders don't exactly have the time to leave their sect for multiple months to go study- Nie Mingjue could NOT have gone to the gusu lectures. It could be true that he didn't go at all, we're not told this. But IF he ever went, he must've been unusually young. 13 at the eldest.
If that's true, it'd provide him a reasonable motivation to send his brother at a younger age as well. "I did it too and I was fine, Huaisang! It's not that hard if you actually work for it"
or, alternatively:
2. He didn't want him to be in gusu in the same year as the Wens.
Nie Mingjue has a longstanding grudge againt the Wens for his father's murder and very good reasons to NOT trust them with his family's safety. He definitely wouldn't like his little brother to be out of his sight for a multiple month-long stretch with one of Wen Ruohan's sons right there. We don't know Wen Xu's exact age but since he wasn't in the archery competition he's at least 1 year older than lan xichen, which means he's at least 3-4 years older than Huaisang, so sending Huaisang early would mean avoiding Wen Chao, who was his age, without running into Wen Xu. Sadly, due to Huaisang failing the 2 years before, he's ended up in the same class as Wen Chao anyway. And not sending him again after failing for 2 years would mean giving up, and was probably considered a disgrace, so Nie Mingjue had to bite the bullet.
There's definitely other options I'm not seeing but both of these are fun to play with and rotate around in my head.
#mdzs#mdzs headcanons#nie huaisang#nie mingjue#like in-universe this is an anomaly EVERYONE ELSE waited until their kids were like 15#it's JUST nie mingjue#no wonder xichen doted on huaisang so much he's been having him over every year since he was a fucking baby
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Why I Dislike Sonic Speed Simulator
I sometimes see people in the notes of Speed Sim refs saying that maybe they should start playing it/get back into it. I want to ask, for your sakes, that you do not. The only reason I still play it is for this blog. I would love to stop. I keep going so that no one else will have to play to unlock characters for references. I will also be adding a disclaimer to future Speed Sim posts. Maybe this is a bit excessive, but this game is starting to break me.
I understand that some people like the game, and you all control what games you choose to play. In my opinion however, playing Speed Sim is really, really not worth it.
If you want a specific explanation of the problems, you can read it below the cut
Problem 1: Gameplay
The gameplay of SSS is simple, to put it kindly. There are a few different aspects of the game, each of which has only the bare minimum amount to do.
You can run around the world. This lets you collect rings and experience. You can also destroy badniks, which exclusively consists of doing repeated homing attacks until you destroy them. They can technically hit you, but all that does is knock you back.
You can do time trials. Actually somewhat fun. Not much more to say about them.
You can enter races. PvP races which are fine. Fun at first, get boring when you have to grind for race tickets.
You can fight bosses. By "bosses" I of course mean "Eggman" and "Eggman but with more health." It is almost exactly the same fight. You run around breaking shield generators, dodging the same two attacks, and then deal a set amount of damage to him before the shield returns. Repeat. Your prize is spins on (one of) the gacha wheels.
You can complete quests. Actually decent! At least until you run out of quests. Good thing there are daily quests to keep you "entertained" with their repetitive tasks. Also, ignore the fact that the tasks for quests are just engaging with the rest of the mediocre game.
All of the above mechanics grow dull and grind-y very quickly. Soon, every part of the game becomes a chore. The game itself even seems to have realized this, and thus includes an auto-run feature, so you can collect rings and xp without needing to do anything!
I am generally of the opinion that it's a bad sign if a game is un-fun enough it needs to add in the ability to skip the gameplay, but that's just me (that's part of why I stopped playing Star Rail).
Problem 2: Skins
We all know the real reason people play SSS isn't the game itself: it's the cool outfits! 95% of which are only available during limited events and/or by spending actual money. You can also expect to do a lot of boring grinding if you don't spend money. Speaking of spending money...
Problem 3: Microtransactions
Time to talk about the true "heart" of the game: Robux. Now, I will give Speed Sim itself half a pass on this one, as from what I've seen, Roblox as a whole has what I would consider an unsavory emphasis on microtransactions, especially for a game with a playerbase of 50% children aged 12 or under, and another 15% between 13 and 16 (Statista: Roblox user distribution worldwide 2022, by age group). With that being said though, Sonic Speed Simulator doesn't seem to have any qualms about asking for money wherever they can.
I could make a whole other post about all the ways this game offers for you to spend money. You want more spins on the gacha wheels? Spend money! You want to get three gacha eggs for the price of one (certain vending machines only)? Spend money! You want to skip the animation you have to watch every time you buy an egg from said gacha machines? Spend money! You want to do less grinding for xp/race tickets/event objectives/candy/whatever? Money, money, money!!!
The game has a lot of the trademark warning signs for a cash grab gacha game:
Several different kinds of currency, most or all of which can be purchased with premium currency
Many different skins to unlock, using the assorted currencies mentioned above (including ones that are specifically only purchasable with premium currency)
Gacha wheels. Many, many gacha wheels. (Not counting the dozens of vending machines, I can think of at least four)
Grindy gameplay that can largely be skipped by spending money
Again, if a game is un-fun enough to have an option for players to spend real money to skip the gameplay, that's a bad sign.
Problem 4: Crunch
I haven't done much looking into it myself, but I've seen many people say that GameFam (the company that creates Speed Sim) treats its employees very poorly. The game advertises its weekly updates, which requires a lot of crunch in order to get content out quickly. This is obviously bad for the people involved, and also has negative effects on the game.
Many features are clearly rushed, and there's a general lack of polish. From glitching through the map, to races starting several seconds before or after the countdown ends, to untextured models, to many small bugs, it's clear that the developers are not given enough time to clean things up before they have to move on to the next week's content.
*
Thank you to anyone who actually read this far. This was a long post, but I wanted to be thorough in my explanation. This is probably the last dedicated post I will make about this, since this is really not what this account is for, but I still think it's an important one.
You are welcome to ask questions about any of this — preferably in the replies so as not to clutter the sonicreferencephotos feed — but otherwise the disclaimers are all I'll be saying on the topic for the foreseeable future. Take care of yourselves.
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Did you know that in a recent video Alan made with DJ he confirmed that TSC, Green, Yellow, Red and Blue are around the ages of 10 to 12 years old. He also said that they are just really smart children. I really like that they just young kids, makes their mannerisms and child like behavior make more sense.
Hmmm... okay, I want to preface with saying that I'm happy you find joy in headcanoning the Color Gang to be 10 to 12 year olds. I'm glad you like thinking they're kids.
BUT
I've seen a lot of people use that clip of Alan saying they're 10 to 12 year old kids as canon. And like, frankly, I don't see how it can be.
(Goddamn, this is long as hell. Click on the "Keep Reading" if you want to see my entire rant but
TLDR;
It's fine if you see the Color Gang as kids in the range of 10 - 12, more power to you, but I don't see it as canon because it doesn't make sense to me and I personally can't relate to them. So I see them as young adults. )
First off, I honestly don't trust anything Alan has to say when it comes to what is or is not canon to the videos because Alan has said via his Members discord that there isn't any concrete "lore" for the characters and the world aside from a paragraph of personality traits for the Color Gang. While I myself, am not in the Discord, I have a friend who sometimes talks about stuff in there with me. A lot of the things story and lore things he and the team make up as they go. He will just say stuff without really considering previously establish canon.
(Trust me, I know. I've spent so much brainpower trying to connect the stick figure world together in a cohesive manner, its not even funny anymore aldkglsjsgs /lh)
No knock to Alan and his Team though. I understand that AvA/M is an on-going series with SO MANY videos to keep track of. It'd be hard to keep everything inline with lore if you don't have a dedicated keeper of it. But that's the reason why I take anything Alan says outside of the animations themselves, with a grain of salt.
SECONDLY,
Let's break down this "canon" scene shall we?
Actually, lets start a little bit before the scene, so everyone can get some context:
( https://youtu.be/Oz5mDcDK9I4?t=4668 )
The scene is Purple going off with King, to which DJ says:
DJ, voicing over King: Come on son, let's go
DJ, voicing over Purple: Bye guys! I'm gonna go hangout with my adopted dad. I'm 32.
[Alan and DJ laugh]
Alan: Maybe he is.
DJ: That'd be so weird if you find out all the characters are like in their 30s. [more laughs]
Alan: Yeah even though the internet hasn't been around that long.
DJ: Yeah, that's true. How old are they, like since their creation, I guess?
Alan: Huh, good question. ... 14?
DJ: 15? No...
Alan: Probably like 10, 12, 13,
DJ: Yeah, yeah. Which is cool because I feel like they act around then
[Alan laughs]
Alan: Yeah, they're just very smart children.
[END SCENE]
Just reading this, it looks like Alan confirmed that they're 10-13 year olds right?
Yeah if you ONLY look at this and not take into account the joking and non-serious tone both Alan and DJ had throughout this entire conversation. They like joking around and saying things. That's kinda their whole thing during their reacts. Alan is a more dead-pan but he was definitely making a lighthearted joke or comment playing off of the statement of them being 10.
Actually, lets go look at the question leading up to this.
"How old are they, like since their CREATION, I guess?"
Since their creation. AvA 4 is the video where Second and RYGB were first introduced and can serve as their creation date (assuming we're not taking about lore because while AvA 4 is Second's creation date, I'd argue the Stick Fighters were created prior and would in fact be older). AvA 4 premiered in 2014
Which is almost 10 years ago.
There is a high likelihood that both Alan and DJ were using the upload date of AvA 4 as the Color Gang's "creation date".
And if you want to headcanon a stick figure's age is how many years since their creation date, then more power to you.
To me that makes no sense because then that'd mean King is 2 years old. (AvM Parkour released April, 2021) Which is insane. alskdjglsjglsgd
I much prefer the idea that stick figures are created with an age in mind (baring the born stick figures like Purple).
And yeah, maybe Alan "intended" to make the Color Gang 10-13 year olds, but as I stated above, with how joking Alan and DJ were while discussing it plus Alan's whole thing about making things up as they go, I don't really believe it.
ALSO
Not to get too personal, but I just want to address something that's been bothering me with this whole thing.
The idea that because the Color Gang act childish = being children.
Because the sticks are heavily neurodivergent-coded
And as someone who is also neurodivergent, can act childish, see aspects of themself in these sticks, and is an ADULT.
Saying that people who act like this are children??
FUCKING SUCKS
Now I know, DJ, Alan, and probably even yourself Anon, don't mean any harm when you say the sticks act like children so they must be children.
But there is a LONG history of neurodivergent people getting infantilized because they display more "childish" behaviors like stimming or hyperfixating on specific topics.
So for at least me, someone who headcanons the Stick Figures as young adults, this who "age discourse" feels icky to me.
Plus, I personally can't relate to kids because I myself, am an adult. It's easier for me to relate to characters around my age range.
Listen, this rant is getting too long but here's the long and the short of it
There is nothing wrong with headcanoning the sticks as kids if that's what you want to believe that it's canon,
But it just ain't for me.
#Sammy8D answers#anon#anonymous#Alan Becker#Animator vs Animation#Animation vs Minecraft#ava shorts#avm#ava headcanons#ava headcanon#Anon I'm sorry I just went off on you#But holy shit I was holding more thoughts about this whole thing than I thought I was#Especially about the whole neurodivergency bit#Sammy8D queues#Sammy8D Stick Stuff
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I’ve always thought about this, in the manga, it says it’s been 11 years since Orochimaru left the Akastuki, because of the failed attempt to take Itachi, Itachi made Orochimaru leave. This was discussed when the Akastuki met up, Itachi was allegedly “21” at this time.
But Itachi said to have become the anbu captain at 13, it was mentioned by Kakashi im pretty sure when Itachi and Kisame came to capture Naruto.
Therefor Itachi was around late 13 or early 14 when the massacre was committed, he left Konoha after to join the Akastuki as a spy.
So 13/14 + the 11 years that was confirmed Itachi was in the organization for, that’s 24/25 years.
Is Itachi actually 24/25 years old and not 21 as “official sources” claim?
That would make him around 19/20 when he first came to “capture Naruto” and die around 24/25
I feel changing the “11 years” would be much more complicated than changing Itachis age, Sasuke was 6/7 around the time the clan died, so fast forward, he’s 17 when Itachi is “21”…how did Sasuke age around 11 years and Itachi only 7?
Idk if you already thought of this but it’s just a curiosity I’ve always had, correct me if I’m wrong at all
Glad you asked! Piecing timelines together is a thing I need for closure LOL so I already did it for the brothers!
I don't remember where, but it was said (not by an official source) that the "10 years since Orochimaru left Akatsuki" statement was a continuity error and should be disregarded. Because I could be wrong, but I vaguely remember that this statement was (also) made in the anime when Itachi was only 17/18 (after the chunin exams) and it would make absolutely 0 sense.
As for the massacre, the anime and manga make him 13 at the time. His official age of promotion was only mentioned that one time by Kakashi.
I don't know if you consider the Itachi Shinden novels canon, but personally I like to do so because they don't contradict any manga events, other than where Itachi's hands were when Shisui died... and add a lot of logical context. If we go by the novels, Kakashi only said Itachi was 13 because Hiruzen and Danzo aged him up on paper so as to not stir the pot too much by promoting someone at an age where others barely finish the academy. Itachi was actually 12 at the time of the massacre. It wouldn't be "wrong" for any character to say he was 13 as everyone was fed (and thoughtlessly believed??) the same lies about that poor kid.
In his first detailed flashback in part 1 of the anime (on his way to the inn), Sasuke remembers how he was the same age Itachi was when he graduated, after auntie Uruchi (the chubby lady) said he was 7. That was the day of the massacre. It would also make the most sense. Canonically and in the anime, Itachi is 5 years older than Sasuke, and 7 + 5 = 12.
In Itachi's first anime appearance, Sasuke just had his 13th birthday and Itachi should just have turned 18 the month before. This would make sense, too, as Sasuke is 16 when Itachi dies at 21 (Itachi's birthday is in June, Sasuke's in July).
Itachi's physical development isn't portrayed proportionately to his age or even true-to-data, which adds to the confusion. From the very beginning, Sasuke's flashbacks of 11-12-year-old Itachi show him much bigger than the Rookie 9. And he gets MUCH bigger within just 1 year. 11: 148 cm. 12 (officially 13 thanks to Danzo: 175 cm. LOL did Fugaku put something in his food to make him bigger faster because he also suddenly looks much more masculine??
But then, you put ANY adult in the room with him, and he suddenly shrinks. Danzo is officially shorter at 170 cm, but always shown taller, while Itachi wears thicker soles (Danzo wears slippers mostly).
Danzo has to bend to make eye contact with the squirt:
This is more than 6 cm difference! (175 & 181)
This was around the time of the massacre judging by Sasuke's size. Ummm... Wasn't Itachi officially as tall as Fugaku (175) here...
And this is just before the massacre, after Itachi got tired of trying:
He was supposed to be 6 cm taller than Kurenai (169 cm vs 175 cm), but he's drawn shorter than her!
And to make it all extra sad, I looked up what Itachi would look like in an accurate live action adaptation of the massacre, because Kishimoto draws him looking way older so the "groomed and exploited child soldier" part is more palatable:
(found on Pinterest)
For comparison, 12-year-old Itachi in the anime (average for Japanese boys that age is 153 cm, by the way, not 175 which is above average for ADULTS):
Naruto was said to be depicted as smol and scrawny on purpose, but while anime styles usually make a character look younger than their real life counterpart, Naruto was probably closest to that?
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!
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Trauma Team Artbook Character Bio Lore
...As gleaned from running artbook scans from 2014 through a sketchy machine translation in the year 2023. I won't post the exact translations for fear of mistranslations ending up reported as fact on wikis and so on, but here's the gist of what Google Translate yields.
CR-S01
Is named Erhard Muller, a fact that already made the rounds in the 2010s
His nationality is also listed as German, though he clearly spent most of his life in America
Most of his backstory isn't anything new compared to in the games, but the artbook does provide a timeline: adopted by Professor Sartre at age 9 after his parents died, enrolled in medical school at age 12 and hailed as the youngest ever to do so, age 13 when Rosalia was adopted, age 16 when the Cumberland Institute incident happened
Erhard and Rose weren't super close siblings, but got along well enough and they had happy lives until the bioterrorism attacked
The government 100% knew Erhard wasn't the culprit when they arrested him - he was the public scapegoat because they couldn't find Albert Sartre, their real person of interest. They never stopped looking for Sartre, and S01's work to reduce his sentence was a quiet compromise for the fact that they, y'know, ruined this kid's life
After learning the truth, S01 is disappointed at his father's betrayal but also chooses to take blame for Sartre's crimes and work off his sentence rather than expose Sartre as the true culprit
Not in-game lore, but according to the concept art section he was nicknamed Chris (CRS) during development. Other people will be funnier about this than I am
Maria Torres
Has the shortest bio and the least amount of new information along with Tomoe, honestly
Born in the slums
Was already at the orphanage at age 10 when Rosalia (age 3) came there
Ended up in rehab of some kind after the orphanage fire
Hank Freebird
Also doesn't have much new compared to the game, sadly
Joined the military out of a sense of justice, left out of disillusionment following John's death and used the medical knowledge he gained in the military to become an orthopedic surgeon (not that this wasn't already implied in the game)
His bio specifically calls him out for being kinda clumsy/goofy. Poor guy
Tomoe Tachibana
Honestly the only thing that's new is a bunch of names, so this is the one time I break my rule and cite a translation directly. TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT, IT'S STILL A MACHINE TRANSLATION
The only daughter of the Tachibana Zaibatsu, a global organization run by a family descended from the leader of the Koga Shinobi Army, Hisayori Tachibana.
Gabriel Cunningham
Nationality is listed as Great Britain. Surprise!
His wife Lisa left him with Joshua and went to her parents' six years before the game because she didn't like his lifestyle
Lisa was willing to get back together if Gabe was ever willing to talk to her properly, but as seen in the game he kept his distance. He and Lisa met occasionally over the next six years, but he never saw Joshua - which is of course why Joshua never recognized him in the game
His decision to go through with the divorce was about acceptance of his failings and a desire to do right by Joshua and Lisa
Naomi Kimishima
NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH BACKSTORY
All right, so that bit in Second Opinion where she took a Savato sample after cutting ties with Delphi and used it to bargain amnesty with Caduceus [Europe in the US version; US in the JP version]? Yeah, apparently she transported that sample by CARRYING IT IN HER OWN BODY for Caduceus to extract
Her fatal condition is a result of that, though it's already implied to be a result of GUILT in the game anyway. It was a sudden development a few years later, followed by Derek's six-month diagnosis
There's also details about her illness! Apparently her specific brand of PGS or whatever involves excess serotonin and dopamine production, which she needs meds to regulate.
It also means she's no longer able to operate on the living, which is why she transitions to forensic medicine as part of her plea deal
[Insert grimace here] I don't want to get too into this because this bit because 1) machine translation fears, 2) even perfectly translated it's not likely to be accurate to actual philosophy/terminology anyway, 3) I'm not a doctor I don't know what I'm talking about…
But the bio then starts talking about pranayama and prana, defining prana as life essence and...saying Naomi lacks it because of her condition and its effect on serotonin? I'm not entirely clear on this and I'm hesitant to say anything for sure; the main thing is that they take her illness and use the concept of prana to connect that to...
Her new ability to hear the dead! Apparently Naomi reads the prana left behind in a corpse and translates it into the person's final words via her phone; the worse the damage to the corpse (e.g., skeletonization), the less prana remains and the weaker the voice she hears is
Whether any of this relates to the Healing Touch is not mentioned. IDK man
Technically this was in S01's bio, but it relates more to Naomi: Jacob Tillman originally wanted Naomi to perform his surgery and keep it secret. Naomi was already unable to perform surgery on living people at that point, though, so S01 was Plan B
Rosalia Rossellini
Admired her big brother Erhard :(
Albert Sartre
Adopted Rosalia to study the virus in her blood (that is, he already knew about it by the time he adopted her in case that's ever a timeline question)
Additional Note
If someone with actual knowledge of Japanese corrects me and anything I've written in here, absolutely believe them over me. I'm not the translation hero anyone still in this fandom in the year 2k23 deserves, I'm just the stopgap until maybe one arrives someday.
#trauma center#trauma team#trauma series#trauma center series#cr-s01#crs01#erhard muller#naomi kimishima#tomoe tachibana#hank freebird#maria torres#gabriel cunningham#rosalia rossellini#albert sartre#artbook#man i hope this post works this time#free me from reposting#UPDATE: IT WORKS#THANK GOODNESS
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Hello if you have the time simply put who are brainiacs family members.. and like how are they related? I never knew he had relations of any kind but im picking up the house of brainiac event but twitter has pushed me down a rabbit hole and now im trying to piece together brainiacs family tree. I am in no way an expert in comics or well read in anything im searching things up but idk what different universes/ dimensions/ timelines mean and who/what is canon. thx 💜
So I made this family tree a few years, which is still largely accurate but I still kinda want to remake at some point. Still, a decent visualiser for now.
I think it's important to note that we don't really know what is and isn't canon right now. We will probably have a better idea of it come June-July, but at the moment everything is a little all over the place and it may also remain that way. Comics.
The ones we know are relevant to Williamson's story are Brainiac and, as per the most recent issue, the pre-Zero Hour version of Brainiac 5. I'm also reasonably certain we'll see Vril II and Brainiac 3.
But, the full-ish list:
Kaja Dox and her unnamed mother - Appeared in Humphries' Green Lanterns in a story set "10 billion years ago". We don't actually know if they're supposed to be related to the others, but we can probably assume as much.
Brainiac/Vril Dox (I) - Big man himself. You know him. Man of many faces and origins. Brainiac 12 and 13 are upgraded versions of him.
Vril Dox II - Brainiac's son. Initially adopted, later either a biological son or clone artificially aged into adulthood. In both versions granted as a boon to Brainiac by Colu's machine overlords.
Techne - Brainiac's clone daughter as introduced during Convergence. Maybe canon. Maybe not the child of the main universe's Brainiac.
Unnamed siblings - Techne had several mutated siblings who Brainiac appeared to have used for experiments. The same has been implied to be true for Vril. They're dead.
Project Alien Farm - A clone made out of Brainiac and Lex Luthor's DNA, probably meant to be a parallell to Superboy/Kon El. Had the misfortune of being born a few months before Flashpoint and hasn't been seen since.
Indigo/Brainiac 8 - An artificial being supposedly created by Brainiac 6 to go back in time to aid Brainiac in his mission. We've never seen Brainiac 6 in canon and she kind of just existed in her own corner with the Outsiders and Titans.
Pran Dox - Formerly the son of Vril Dox II. Only ever appeared in narration, we can assume he doesn't exist now.
Lyrl Dox/Brainiac 3 - The more canon son of Vril Dox II.
This is where things get a little spicy timeline-wise. There are essentially five different versions of the future of the DC universe. Each one is its own universe, but has been the canon future of the main universe before. Like this:
The first timeline is the pre-Zero Hour version, the second the post-Zero Hour/Earth-247, the third Earth-Prime, the fourth is an divergent version of the pre-Zero Hour, and the fourth is post-Rebirth. These characters exist within these timelines:
Kajz Dox (both versions of the pre-Zero Hour timeline) - The son of either Lyrl or Pran. Both have been canon.
Brainiac 4 (post-Zero Hour/Earth-247) - An unnamed female child of Lyrl.
Unnamed female Coluan (Earth-Prime) - A character who appeared for two pages in one comic. Probably Lyrl's daughter.
Post-Rebirth lacks a version of Brainiac 4. Among other things.
Querl Dox/Brainiac 5 - Exists in every timeline/universe. The great-great-grandson of Brainiac, by various means.
There are a couple of other characters who can sort of be considered members of the family, but they're not super relevant at this stage.
I don't know how understandable all that is, feel free to shoot me another ask if you want me to clarify anything.
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The Romance is Dead
I've always had an issue with Romeo and Juliet as a love story. Don't get me wrong, I love a good "starcrossed lovers" romance as much as the next obsessive fangirl, but R&J never really made sense to me as a romance. The more I learn about the story, the more I realize, duh! Of course it's not a great romance story. it's a tragedy. It's right there in the title, Badger! I know, and smarter people than me have pointed all of this out already, but for my entire life every treatment of this story has been presented as if it were the height of romance. Especially if it's a reinterpretation. Most retellings of the story miss the point, though. By a lot. A LOT.
Here's the thing...Juliet was really young. She was 13. That went over my head for a long time, but the mention of her age in the play was deliberate. Shakespeare makes it a point to tell us, the audience, how young Juliet is, which I don't believe he does for characters in his other plays (but don't quote me). In fact, I think Juliet is the only one given a specific age in this play. Juliet's father says in the play that he thinks she's too young to marry and thinks she should at least get a say in who she marries (at least until Tybalt dies and he decides that marrying a man twice her age is the cure to her grief. The crap???). Juliet's nurse has a whole monologue about Juliet's age.
The reason I think this went over my head for so long is that I didn't have the historical context. None of my literature or theater classes spent much, if any time on the historical context of Shakespeare's plays, and I'm just now starting to realize how much that has affected how I, and I guess the average Hollywood writer understand the story. There's this idea that people- girls, mostly- were married extremely young all the time in Ye Olden Days of Yore. What I learned years too late for it to make a difference to my grade is while it was legal for girls around that time to be married as young as 12, it wasn't as common as we modern day people seem to think (or in the case of several states, as common as they hoped). Which is why when Juliet's mother comes to talk to her about the marriage proposal Paris (who was probably at least 25, based on his being Italian) presented to Lord Capulet, Juliet says she hasn't even thought about getting married.
The people Shakespeare actually wrote the story for would have had all that extra context and would have understood why Shakespeare took extra special care to make sure they knew exactly how old Juliet was. They would have had the context to really grasp the tragedy of Juliet's story (and it is now clear to me that this was very much Juliet's story). Me, a sap who grew up with romantic retellings, and the Claire Danes version of the original play, didn't have all that context when it mattered, so now that I do have the context, I want to make it everyone's problem share what I've learned with you, my friends. If you're still in school, and they still aren't giving deeper historical context behind this particular play, just know, Romeo and Juliet isn't a romantic story of true love. If this story wasn't a tragedy, Juliet probably wouldn't have married Romeo at all.
#the badger mole muses#romeo and juliet#shakespeare was a really good writer actually#and i am smart for noticing that#THE YEAR OF CONTENT!!!!
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ik its not ur usual positivity but THANK YOU so much for that post!!! I feel like "gifted kid burnout" really dominates the conversation and thats only one experience of many.
I was diagnosed with adhd in elementary school and was basically like. "the kid with problems" "lost cause" my entire life. one of my teachers even directly told my mom she should be ashamed of me lol. any successes were like-- "see what you just did? imagine how much more you would be capable of if you didn't have adhd." to the point where I don't even feel any sense of accomplishment for graduating college. it's just one more "failure" i avoided in other peoples eyes. (i dont personally think not graduating college is a failure at all btw, that is just Society's Message™)
this part is kinda tangential but from what i've seen a lot (ofc not all) of gifted kid burnout posts are like, if only i would have been diagnosed earlier all of this could be avoided. and maybe that's true - I understand where it's coming from at least, the frustration of feeling that something is wrong but not knowing what or having that "proof" that you're not just "lazy" etc. im not saying this isn't a valid wish or frustration but in my experience... hoooo boy.
personally being diagnosed with ADHD in the early 2000s, didn't meant you got support, it meant you were written off from the start, adults thought you had no future, you were seen as a "problem child" like it wasn't "oh you're not lazy you just have adhd!" it was "you have ADHD so you are built to be lazy and theres nothing you can do about it lol" so it didn't solve much. just created a different type of problem. im very happy to see things look to be changing though!!
I'm curious if other people had a similar experience and thank you so much for adding the 'diagnosed but not supported' part bc that is so real!!!
Absolutely this!!
My experience with diagnosis and lack of support was strange, but basically my primary (ages 4-11) school (I believe) suspected I had adhd/dyslexia and did offer some (very limited) support. But they also always told my parents they didn't think I had a learning difficulty when they asked because I was in extra programmes. I don't really think the support they did give me really helped all that much, and honestly, when I did get my diagnosis (around 12/13?) I'd spent so long thinking there was just something "wrong" with me that I feel like the lack of diagnosis was a lot more negatively impactful than not receiving support would've been.
My secondary school then managed to flip this and despite me getting my diagnosis part way through, nothing really changed either. Being told I had ADHD/Dyslexia changed me and my understanding of myself. I finally felt like things made sense and there was a reason i found things so difficult, it wasn't that there was something "wrong" with me but the system was not built for me. Although my diagnosis was early compared to some people, it felt late to me, and everything that can happen when you're undiagnosed had already set in.
I wished I'd been diagnosed earlier but honestly, I had a similar experience to you, and I don't think it would've done much. And even when I was finally diagnosed, my school also never really acknowledged my diagnosis and wouldn't put any of the accommodations that I needed in place (despite my diagnosis coming with a report which explained everything they should've been doing to support me and how they could've done it) I didn't get any accommodations for my neurodiversity until I was in uni, and I got my diagnosis in 2015 so at least for me, my experience wasn't that different to yours in the early 2000s.
When I tried to fight for the accommodations I should've been given, I was told that I would pass my exams, and so it didn't really matter, they didn't believe going through the hassle of giving me accommodations would help me (although the diagnosis report itself said otherwise.) I always felt similarly to you, I could scrape by but "imagine how much better you'd do without dyslexia/adhd" but I also had this weird "well because you're "gifted" you can get average grades, you don't need support!" message as well?
And yeah, just like you, I didn't really feel as accomplished as I should've done when I finished uni. I'm proud of myself for doing it but I do feel this weird pressure of knowing that if I didn't have adhd/dyslexia or managed it better, I would've done much better.
I apologise for rambling about myself but yeah thank you for this ask! I feel the same way, and I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in it as well.
I wish you the best dear anon <3
#insert the usual apology for the long time it took to respond here#I'm proud of you for what you've achieved anon!#and you're right its so nice to see the world changing <33#opening letters#anon
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i've said before that it is completely out of line to look at a person recounting painful memories of childhood abuse and then bring up their past mistakes and i'm standing by that. i know some of you are going to jump on me for saying "mistakes" but this isn't me trivializing. this is me looking at things in context.
i haven't seen these supposed sources where they say drake bell's victim admitted to lying. i looked at news sources from the time and looked at statements given and haven't seen it anywhere in there that she admitted to lying, which i would assume would be front page news. if anyone wants to direct me to something verifiable that isn't part of a tiktok conspiracy, i would be interested. i have seen that bell wasn't convicted of actually touching the girl and they found no evidence of pictures ever being sent. the internet keeps vaguely saying the girl stalked him before and lied about her age and i don't know how true that is. it's always reprehensible to groom children and there isn't a justification for that. a few years ago i might agree with commentators saying "you don't just not know that someone is 12" but i worked at space camp for the past few years and there were a few times where i was looking for my assigned group and was told that the group that i'd assumed were 17 and 18 year olds (because they were taller than me and more muscular or filled out) were actually 12 and were actually my assigned group. idk what they're putting in the water but i assume it's these damn tiktok beauty standards. and i often have the opposite problem - when i was 16, people would assume i was 13. now that i'm 29, people assume i'm 19-14. i have a friend in her mid20s who is constantly mistaken for a 10 year old boy. it is fucking hard to tell how old someone is and if it's true that she was in his shows which were meant to be 18+ he'd have no reason to know her age. i've seen commentators state he immediately broke off contact when learning about her age.
i want to give benefit of the doubt in this case. i want to believe that the apology given was with complete accountability and remorse. imagining being in his position and realizing he may have contributed to an unsafe situation on par with one he himself experienced may have been a huge wake up call for him. i want to remind everyone though that we are not called on to forgive drake bell. we're not the wronged party in the case. the only one who can give forgiveness is the victim and victims do not owe that.
and with that i feel i should say that i can unfortunately believe that the domestic violence accusations may be true. the timeline seems to match up with the years immediately following what happened with him, the years he'd be more likely to flounder and struggle with the secret he was keeping. who knows what unprocessed trauma he was living with? it doesn't make it okay by any means (and again we are not the ones tasked with "forgiving" him and victims don't even owe that) but it makes a certain sense in context. i do think drake bell needs to come forward and tell people to stop attacking his ex on social media because come the fuck on. just because someone went through something horrific doesn't mean they can't do fucked up shit. i know i've done fucked up shit and i've worked through it as best i can. internet harassment and hate campaigns are not the way, but we didn't learn that lesson with amber heard (who i 100% believe sorry not sorry).
i think we need to move on from this mentality of holding people (particularly child stars) up on pedestals then dragging them down when they do fucked up shit. i have to believe people can change and grow. i'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt so long as a pattern doesn't emerge. we need to move on from thinking that there is a "perfect" victim or that if someone has transgressed in later life that means their victimhood doesn't matter. we can mourn the child that drake bell was. we can mourn the child that amanda bynes was. we can mourn the person that all these people could be if they weren't swallowed by this cesspit. that is a separate conversation from talking about the ways they fucked up after coming out of that environment irreparably damaged.
leave behind the mentality that to show compassion for another human being is the same as "forgiving" them. and move on from the mentality that you personally are the one wronged when these people's lives have nothing to do with you.
#feel free to reach out to me if new details emerge or if i get something wrong#i've been microdosing on this situation because steeping myself in it would be bad for my mental health#but if i'm online i'm willing to keep talking about this#rape tw#abuse tw#quiet on set
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I saw a t*kt*k that was the usual "cursed child is bad because it portrays harry as an absent father and harry would never be an absent father and he would never raise his kids to have a prejudice against slytherin"
ok so there's 2 parts to this (no pun intended) that I want to address.
"Harry is portrayed as an absent father"
no he isn't?? the only thing I can see as part of the "absent father" portrayal is the implication in the play that harry spends a lot of time at the Ministry. Which is true. It's implied that Harry is sometimes off on missions (he recovers the time turner in act 1/part 1) and Scorpius has a line later where he says "he's taking time away from the ministry?" as if that's a rare occurrence, rare enough that scorpius of all people also notices it. sure. he works a lot. but he also makes a big effort to be involved in his kids' lives. he brings them gifts, he knows when they're bickering, he does actually connect with albus in the first scene. he's not an absent father.
I don't want to jump the gun and say the phrase "absent parent" is becoming another buzzword for the internet to misuse, but I think people are misinterpreting Harry and Albus having a rocky relationship because Albus is figuring himself out and Harry no longer knows how to connect with him. Instead there's this jump to saying "cursed child portrays harry as this terrible father!!" when it really doesn't portray harry as terrible, it portrays harry as flawed, like any parent would be, obviously (this goes into my longer rant about how the fandom loves to think that all of harry's trauma and flaws were destroyed along with the horcrux inside him, but that's for another time)
2. "harry raised his kids with a prejudice against slytherin"
no he didn't??? literally his first conversation with albus is about how it would be ok if albus was in slytherin. really the slytherin prejudice comes from james. which makes sense. if james spent the last 2 years at hogwarts in gryffindor with all his gryffindor friends, having the usual rivalry with slytherin, of course he's going to be an annoying 12/13 year old about it and tease his insecure brother about it. albus is actually the one that takes the fact that he's sorted into slytherin and projects that into his issues with his dad. harry is never shown to have an issue with albus being in slytherin, whereas albus sees that as the root of his issues with him and harry, and later finds out that's not the case. i genuinely think the slytherin prejudice that we see in cursed child just stems from the usual, shitty middle-school age drama.
#to be fair the tiktok didn't explicitly say 'cursed child is bad' but it said everything else#i wrote this while recovering from covid so we'll see if it's coherent lol#cursed child#ccsquad
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Author Interview
Thanks for the tag, @littlelindentree ^_^ Happy New Year!
1. how many works do you have on AO3?
20
2. what's your total AO3 word count?
981,132
3. what fandoms do you write for?
I have written for Dragon Age: Inquisition, Red Dead Redemption 2, Horizon: Zero Dawn, The Last of Us, and The Walking Dead
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
The Lily Farm (Arthur Morgan x Mary Beth Gaskill, RDR2)
That he may hold me by the hand (Arthur Morgan x Albert Mason, RDR2)
The Dead Season (Solavellan, DAI)
Magnolia (Bethyl, TWD)
Yours, Sadie Adler. (Sadithur, RDR2)
5. do you respond to comments?
Yes, as often as I can. Sometimes, I forget on older fics. I'm sorry about that. If someone is rude to me in the comments though, I will respond rudely!
6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably Teen Wolf. It's a story collection so the ending isn't really "true," but it's the end of Solas and Ghilan'nain's love story, in my mind. It's sad and bittersweet, as in the story, they are talking about building a house on the back acreage of Solas's mother's property, but I envision the very next day as being the day that Andruil invades the Weathers, kidnapping both Ghilan'nain and Solas's mother Leanathy, and beginning the Great War. In the ensuing days, Andruil's men leave Solas for dead, and when he wakes up, he goes to Mythal and begs her to free his mother in exchange for his loyalty. She accepts, rescuing and protecting Leanathy in her Blue Palace, and Solas becomes her Bodyguard. Eventually, he is elevated to her General, then he becomes her lover. During the war, after Ghilan'nain's betrayal, the Evanuris murder Mythal, and Solas, out of vengeance and grief, builds the veil and imprisons them all, including Mythal's soul, which would, over time, resurrect into her body, using special magic taught to her by Solas's mother many thousands of years before.
7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Well, most of my long fics are unfinished. I'm sorry about that. I think that The Dead Season has a happy ending. So does Yours, Sadie Adler., thought it is bittersweet.
8. do you get hate on fics?
Not tons at all. I have gotten a few rude commenters over the years, mainly people being weirdly critical of my writing style in ways that are, frankly, moronic, and also some people who just want me to write more smut. But I don't write much smut anymore, and I don't think fics need smut to be worthy or interesting. If you only want a smut fic, you probably won't like my writing. Remember that tags exist so that you can see what you're getting into before you crack the first chapter!!!!
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
Lol. Speaking of. I used to write much more. It was never the overly explicit kind and I didn't have any specific kinks I liked to explore, but I wrote a lot of it for DAI and RDR2. I still write sex scenes for sure, it's just that they tend to be character driven.
10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?
I have never written a real crossover; however, I do have some crossover characters in The Lily Farm. In the later chapters, I have two main characters who are taken from other texts: Woodrow Call from Lonesome Dove and LaBoeuf from True Grit. Both are Texas Rangers, and in my fic, they owe Dutch a few rather large favors. They help Arthur and Mary Beth on the river boat job, which goes terribly wrong. They also help break John out of federal prison. They are two of my favorite characters in the fic.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. I've had plenty of art stolen over the years and I don't even keep track anymore. Mainly it just gets reposted without credit on like, Pinterest. Oh well!
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know of! But I am amenable.
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
I don't think so!
14. what's your all-time favourite ship?
I have several though Bethyl and Solavellan are probably tied for first.
15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
The Lily Farm. In truth there's not a ton left to write. But it's been 84 years like I don't even remember the geography of the game. I would have to replay RDR2, at least through chapter 4. I also wish I could finish Zero, my Niloy fic for HZD. I still think about them, and I still occasionally get really really nice comments on that fic. I honestly wish I could finish all my old fics. Like That he may hold, which also has maybe one closing chapter left to write. I wish I could finish As You Were, too, my TLOU fic, just so that I can save Joel's life, and as a big fuck you to Neil Druckmann.
16. what are your writing strengths?
I'm not sure. Pacing has probably always been my greatest strength.
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
Overwriting, getting bored. My issue is often that I start a fic with modest goals but then those goals get bigger and bigger as I go, and I can't help myself. Then, I eventually get bored and I don't finish. I view fanfic as a way for authors to express themselves and their hyperfixations in the moment. I think that the quality of being "unfinished" is, in an of itself, conventional to fanfiction; however, I still view my general lack of focus as a weakness.
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Don't translate it. Just put it there. If your reader cares enough and doesn't know the translation, they'll look it up. If they don't care enough to do this, then they're not your target audience. The internet makes this sort of thing very easy.
19. first fandom you wrote for?
Technically it's the boyband fandom (*NSync and Backstreet Boys, mainly) in like 1998, but in actuality, it's Dragon Age: Inquisition in 2016.
20. favourite fic you've written?
Probably Yours, Sadie Adler. It feels the most complete, and I still don't know how I managed to write that fic so quickly, when I was like three weeks postpartum with my second baby, and with very little revision. It just flowed out of me, like it was already written in my mind, and all I had to do was type it out. I have received some really lovely comments on it over the years. It seems to affect people deeply, which makes me very happy, because it came from a very raw place in my heart.
I will tag @thevikingwoman @bearlytolerant @roguelioness @gneebee @shallow-gravy @a-shakespearean-in-paris @pipergirl17 @sasusc and @im-immortal <3
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Creepypasta general headcanons
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚general head cannons for the creeps⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚
characters ; jeff the killer, ben drowned, slender man, eyeless jack & nina
fandom ; creepypasta
note ; i didn't know if you wanted all in one or just a few so i picked 5 out and just added some in all ones at the end!
DONT INTERACT IF 13-
jeff the killer ~jefferey woods~
while chasing a victim in the forests he's probably accidently swinged at himself which caused him to get really hurt at least once.
he has little bite marks in the collar of his cotton shirts cause whenever he gets nervous, he bites his collars, for sure.
his room is the blandest in the whole manor, he seriously does not give a shit about decorating his room.
in my opinion he's also just like a walking zombie.
and last but not least... i personally think instead of him being all lanky, thin, brittle boned (aka how zombies would be) he's actually like hella buff.
ben drowned ~benjamin lawmen~
ben doesn't age, ever. hes gonna be a 12 year old forever.
he can also float, go through walls, doors, make lights flicker by using energy, overall, just whatever ghosty ghosts do!
and i don't think he teleports through tv's or whatever but actually he can find people easier through them.
slender man ~eric knudsen~
like mentioned before i said manor instead of the established mansion because i feel as slender man would find mansions just un useful and whatnot and just overall just strongly prefer manors any day.
slender man is not a "loving father" to the creeps but instead he is a greedy, acquisitive, rapacious, being towards them and not at all petrified to act when he doesn't get what he wants.
also, he is a phantom entity who lacks in age wise, which meaning he does not have an age, he is ageless. some may say he could be even in the millions which isn't true in my opinion.
eyeless jack ~jack nicholas~
he only hunts for dinner, he strives on eating new fresh human meat, organs and whatever that is in a human.
he doesn't sleep whatsoever. he has never had shut eye after becoming a creep, isn't that crazy?
he may only see at night whenever he has to hunt. when making the deal the slender man they agreed on allowing jack to see when necessary and slender man gets a new sacrifice and a new... employee you may say?
uses it/its pronouns
nina ~nina hopkins~
she's never liked jeff, ever.
she makes them cute kandi bracelets in her free time.
i never do sexuality head cannons since it just doesn' make sence in my head but she's 100% lesbian.
gay lord overload!!!
reads fanfics on wattpad, qoutev, a03 etc.
IN ALL
they don't just go on random ass killing sprees because why the hell would they?
and no, they don't just do paperwork and meaningless shit like that, they're meant to serve slender man not just do paperwork. not even the big boss slender does paperwork.
everybody hates each other besides jeff and toby may get along okay since they are sort of related not by blood of course but by the fire incidents.
#jeff#jeff the killer#head cannons#creepypasta#slenderverse#general#ask me#nina#jtk#slenderman#creepy pasta#eyeless jack#x reader#ben drowned#creeps#kiohful#2022#manor#hunting
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Plural community, I need your help
(This is going to be a long post but please, I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read through it. Thank you very much, continue)
Hey, hello. I'm reaching out to the D.I.D/OSDD/Plural community in general, I need you guys' help. I have a slight suspicion that I might be an OSDD 1-b system but, my mind just keeps hammering in my head that I'm faking everything, that I'm just actively pretending to have all these symptoms and red flags just so I can sorta "fill the void" of feeling extremely lonely. It wouldn't be the first time I did that to myself- making me think I have a disorder when in reality it isn't true.
So I just need to know... how did you figure out you were a system? What signs should I be wary of? How can you even tell at all? This specially goes for systems with little to no amnesia barriers, since that's my case.
Some of the symptoms -or I guess things I've noticed that made me second guess- are:
I've been through childhood trauma (starting at age 8).
I can't remember my childhood/pre-teen years, specially from ages 10 to 12, only some bits and pieces. That time is a big ass blurr.
I've always referred to myself as "we" ever since, well- I can't really remember when.
I've had times in which I sort of turn into a child, but I can remember everything that happens. Is like there's two versions of me at that moment- the "child" me who's currently in control of the body, and myself, who's always in the back fully aware of what's happening and ready to jump in if anything occours. I thought that was age regressing, but I'm having second thoughts.
I've had times in which I feel like I was some characters of media I like, and I fully feel like I'm... Them. But again, still can remember everything that happens. I recall this one time when I was really distressed about something and suddenly, bam, felt like I was a character and I completely calmed down.
I've had these voices in my head for the longest times, I call them parts of myself. Like one of them particularly is keen of keeping me stable, grounding me if I'm having a panic or anxiety attack, reassuring me everything's gonna be okay, etc. Another part likes to argue about everything I do, having more of a negative outlook of things (this part is actually the one that keeps telling me I'm faking everything). Another part is the child one I was talking about earlier, I can feel her anger and pain and confusion about everything that happened to me.
I am so used to having internal arguments about everything, and I mean everything. I talk myself through my issues by discussing with these different parts.
These past few days, every time I try to do some research about OSDD I feel this awful feeling that I shouldn't, this feeling of panic.
Some reasons of why I think I'm faking everything:
Again, no dissociative barriers between almost everything that I've listed so far.
I have to kinda force myself or force my brain to be able to "listen" to these voices, and they quiet down when I'm focused on something else or I completely forget about them. This leads me to believe I'm imagining it all. If it were truly some sort of dissociative disorder, I would not have control of when I hear them.
If I am truly a system, wouldn't I have noticed it earlier? All of my life I went along living like a singlet, never questioning if I heard voices or not, never showing a symptom. Sure, the whole POINT of a system is to never let the host know, but still.
When I was about 13 I started doing my research on D.I.D (because I'm a huge psychology nerd), and I convinced myself I had that disorder. Even going as far as pretending to have it online. Yeah, I know, I was an asshole. That's why I'm worried I might be doing the same here.
Because of personal reasons, I lost my friend group and ended our relationship with my previous partner. That's why I feel extremely lonely, and that loneliness might lead me to make myself believe I have someone in my head, anyone. That way I won't be alone.
Not proud of this one, but I have to admit... I wanted to be a system when I did my research back in the day. The thought of not being alone anymore, of having someone else to step in like no one did for me when I needed it, of having someone else by my side... I really wanted that. And I'm afraid that desire is clouding my vision of whether I have a disorder or not.
If you got this far, thank you. It means the world. Please, I am open to any answers or advice you wanna give me, I'm desperate at this point. I just really wanna know if I'm faking it or not.
Thank you, sending love.
(Ps. sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes, English is not my first language)
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @cappurrccino
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
34
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
229,622
3. What fandoms do you write for?
destiny, dishonored, ffxiv (although those are only on tumblr cause i had a weird period where i wasn't posting anything to ao3). one warframe. i'd like to write more warframe but uhhhh got no ideas. i'm hoping the new war will give me some whenever i'm brave enough to start it
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Various Accounts of Corvo Attano - 194
Oddities - 156
Breathe - 115
No Kingdom to Come - 89
Winter's Guile - 78
5. Do you respond to comments?
i try to, even if it's just "thanks!" although sometimes i'll say "i'll respond to that later" and then i forget. you know how it is
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
No Kingdom to Come ends with all the Iron Lords being killed so probably that one
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
a lot of them... i tend to prefer a happy ending. i'm not sure how to quantify happiest. but i also really really rarely write chaptered fics so it's sort of hard to say 'ending' for a thousand word doodle. As It Was has a happy ending, i suppose
8. Do you get hate on fics?
nope. i did get someone (lightheartedly) criticizing me giving Juno Nezha for an eidolon hunt which wasn't hate and also i found it hysterical. true warframe player right there to comment on my unoptimized build on a fic. not even remotely close to hate but i did just want to bring it up. it's like my favorite comment i've ever gotten
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
not that i post and honestly just not at all anymore really
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
nah. i've thought about a few but they're sort of like aus to me where it's just not usually my cup of tea
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
also not that i know of
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
@cappurrccino wrote some parts for the Devil Went Down to Faerun, which was a novelised version of an old dnd campaign we were in
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Felwinter/Timur
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Legacy. i have a lot of it written. i just keep. not posting it. i'm deeply sorry to the people in the comments of that fic who were really excited to see i started posting it again. i genuinely don't know what keeps happening
16. What are your writing strengths?
uhh... i don't know... dialogue, probably. i cannot identify my own strengths but i usually like my dialogue exchanges
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
plots. and atmospheric description. combat description also
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i think it can be fun but i'm usually too scared i'll translate something wildly wrong lmao. i use greek as a stand-in for celestial in Tales from the Dancing Sea Dragon (another dnd campaign fic) bc i also use it at the table in that game bc i'm trying to learn greek and i do think it's fun to pepper in another language to your dnd character dialogue, especially if common isn't their first language. gives the roleplay a bit more flavor
19. First fandom you wrote for?
hmm... transformers maybe? or warrior cats... i don't remember that was ages ago and those fics are all long gone
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
i'm biased so it's DWDTF. it was fun to write, trying to accurately put down the silliness of the table into writing, and it's fun to read (to me) and is easily the longest thing i've ever written. asra is still my favorite dnd character i've ever played, so i like to go back and read his adventures sometimes
Tagging:
@wingedarrows @flowers-of-io and. i am blanking so hard. on a) who juri already tagged and b) who else of my friends writes fic. so i'm terribly sorry. if you see this and juri didn't tag you consider yourself tagged by me
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