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#which i think the show sees and is correcting
bloobharry · 1 day
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How’s your head? H.S
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She never thought she’d be into something like this.
Something which reduced her to such a filthy, whiney mess.
That too from her best friend.
Or,
Harry is Y/N’s best friend, and he just wants the best for her.
Content warning: mature content.
Word count: 3.8K
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When Y/N told Harry she wanted to hang out with him Friday afternoon, she didn’t quite think it would end up like this.
The original plan was to essentially do nothing all night. After a long, tiring week at work, nothing satisfied Y/N more than lazing around on her couch and snacking on all the chocolate sitting in her pantry she had been fantasising about having while at her desk. It was always nice to have someone do these things with you, though, where both parties could lie in silence, munch on snacks and glue their eyes to the television to forget everything that happened in the past workdays.
Y/N quickly realised Harry was the perfect person for this. He didn’t have much going on for him either so there was no reason why he would turn down a night of gorging Y/N’s pantry and flopping over her hunched body on the sofa so they could watch whatever show she was recently obsessing over.
And that was how the night started.
Harry came over at about 7, with a pizza for takeaway and a large soda, and claimed the furthest right corner of the couch, snuggled up with Y/N’s cat Lola. While Lola took her time sniffing Harry’s fingers and tentatively licking his knuckles, Y/N warmed up some popcorn and ruffled Harry’s hair as she walked past him to her spot on the other end of the sofa. “Heeeeeey,” he began, a furrow in his brows, “you can’t just do that. I put a lot of work into making it look this good.” Y/N rolled her eyes, “if it looks like that after all the work I’m afraid you’re not doing enough, Harry.” He didn’t say anything, only scoffed and shoved her legs slightly from where she had swung them on his lap, “you need to pull that stick out of your ass. Let off some steam or something.”
“Right and do you want to volunteer as my punching bag?” She retorted. She wasn’t really trying to be mean, a teasing grin on her lips when he feigned offence once more, “that’s not what I meant. There are other ways to release tension, you know,” he said.
“Harry, if you want me to drop-kick you, just say i—“
“What I want is for you to go out and get a good dicking so you can stop being such a menace to me.”
“I’m not being a menace, this is just how I am. I thought you’d know that by now.” Y/N’s eyes widen, looking at him like she can’t believe he hadn’t realised her quip-y and teasing comments have been entirely satire. “Menace or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been on edge lately and could go for an orgasm not brought to you by your vibrator.”
“Harry!”
”What? I’m just saying,” he said through a smirk. Y/N’s eyes narrow at his dishevelled sight, his hair just touching his collarbones and his black sweater swallowing him whole. “My orgasms are perfectly fine, thank you. And my vibrator does a very good job at helping me ‘let off steam’.”
He sighs, almost mockingly. “When’s the last time you got laid?”
“Why would I tell you?”
”Because I’m your friend. I promise I’m just trying to help,” he says sincerely. The dim lighting of the living room made his eyes sparkle and Y/N avoided eye contact by fiddling with her fingers.
God, there was just something about the fucker that made a person want to spill every secret before his jade gaze. “I dunno. Maybe five, six months?”
“Jesus Christ Y/N, what the fuck? Weren’t you seeing Daniel like 3 weeks ago?” His voice goes up a few octaves, looking at her all bewildered. “It’s Danny,” she corrected him, “and I stopped texting him a while back. He was a bore in real life and quite frankly, a bore in bed.” Danny was one of Y/N’s coworkers' brothers who she had tried setting her up with, and Y/N did have some fun with him at first. It was always nice having someone to flirt with back and forth and get compliments from every now and then but he just never scratched that itch for Y/N. She ended up ghosting him 2 dates in and she knows that's a dick move, but really a second more of listening to him go on and on about his mum and how much his new PC game cost would make Y/N want to gauge out her own eyeballs with a dinner fork.
“Did he ever get you off?” Harry asked. Y/N was incredibly appalled, not appreciating his prying hands all over her sex life. Or lack thereof. “No and that’s none of your business anyway, jeez.”
“There you go again, snapping at me. You know if you’ll ask me nicely I’ll stop.” He sat up against the arm rest, fingers grazing her bare leg from when he pulled it back on his lap. Y/N knew she could ask him to stop asking her all these questions and he would, but was it really a conversation with her if she wasn’t being at least a little bit hard to read?
Besides, maybe it would do her some good talking about it and whatever advice he had might actually help her out. Harry seemed to be more than well-equipped when it came to charming the heck out of someone and working his way into their pants. “Sorry,” she sighed, rubbing her eye, “no, he didn’t get me off. We never actually had sex, I just gave him a blowie once and he tried to go down on me.”
Harry smiled softly knowing he got her to crack and squeezed her calf, “tried?” He knew he was treading on dangerous waters here, wedging his fingers between Y/N’s brain and asking her to recall her time with Danny.
“Yes, tried. It was fucking awful.”
She didn’t meet his eyes, busying herself with the strings on her hoodie, “and he definitely came in your mouth?” Y/N’s cheeks went pink, and she quickly pulled her legs away from him, “Harry!” Her voice was high pitched and defensive, and while her mind told her that maybe confiding all this in Harry isn’t the smartest thing, her heart wanted to see where an odd conversation like this could lead.
“I’m just asking!”
She hesitated, narrowing her eyes. “Yeah.”
“Well fuck, Y/N, sorry to say it but you were seeing an absolute douche.” Harry makes this diagnosis like Y/N didn’t already know, his fingers reaching for her legs again, tugging them onto his thighs with a strength that made her tummy flip. He ran a hand through his unruly hair. “I know. It was fun but I didn’t want anything more with him.”
“Good. But you still need a good fuck. One where you actually get to come and don’t come back home all high and dry.”
Y/N gasps, trying to get off him again but Harry holds her down, laughing at her bright red embarrassed face, “you’re such a dick I hate you.”
His dimples dug deep into the soft of his cheeks, and he pulled her legs so she was sitting much closer to him. Her ass touched the edge of his thighs and she could feel the warmth radiating off of him, making her skin even hotter. Y/N remained frowning, shoving his chest when he wouldn’t stop giggling, “stop laughing, Harry!” For obvious reasons that doesn’t work and the little genuine crink in her eyebrows had him almost cooing and smiling wide at the same time. When she didn’t let up the frown and tried to move back to her spot, Harry only grabbed her hips and pulled her back, close enough that her ass was now on top of his thighs, “okay, okay I’m sorry. You’ve got a really funny angry face.”
Y/N was near seething at this point, gearing up for an attack, “I’ll show you an angry face,” she tried lunging for his hair again but very quickly realised she failed to take into consideration her position when he instantly caught her wrists in between his long fingers, holding them tight but not enough to hurt her, “okay, John Cena let’s take a breather.”
God, was he able to make her skin absolutely crawl at times. He was still holding her wrists when he brought them down, watching her blazingly. She didn’t realise how far she had shuffled into his lap and how close his face was to hers until now. Until she could smell the strawberry mints he was sucking on on his breath.
She made a half-hearted attempt to smack his chest, but his hold only tightened around her, suddenly dragging her even closer to him over the soft fabric of his sweats. Y/N held her breath. He was too close to her, his nose daring to touch hers. She’d never been in such a vulnerable position with him and she might possibly just faint if he didn’t stop staring at her mouth and then her eyes, flicking his gaze between the two like he couldn’t decide where to settle.
She moved her head back, trying to create some space between the pair, “what are you doing Harry.” The sound she makes is an odd one— one that she doesn’t make often and it’s desperate and needy, akin to a weepy whine. His fingers finally loosened enough for her to break free and she quickly moved her face away from his where it seems like it was magnetically pulling her closer and closer.
Harry didn’t say anything for a while and Y/N found herself frozen in her spot, still right on his lap. “What’s going on here, hmm?” He said, glancing down.
Y/N followed his gaze, confused at first and it took her a moment to realise what he was insinuating. His fingers grazed her hips. “What’s got you all squirmy on my lap?”
He was still staring right into her eyes, making her go crazy with the stolen glances at her lips with every passing second. Meanwhile Y/N’s chest heaved and she unintentionally shuffles again, “fuck, Y/N.” Harry’s voice was deep and groan-y, vibrating through her body when his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I’m not squirmy, Harry shut up.” She was lying right to his face and her poor attempt at covering her actions made him laugh again. The sound was teasing, nothing like the light-hearted giggles spilling from his lips when he found her angry face amusing.
“You’re a terrible liar, Y/N.” His fingers fell to her upper thighs, which he gripped harshly. Only then when she couldn’t move did Y/N realise she really was practically rubbing herself against him, milking even the slightest pressure against her heat from his warm, pliant lap. Her face pinkened again, embarrassment coursing through her veins and making her want to dig a hole and hide in it forever. She couldn’t believe what she had just been caught doing.
Y/N expected him to fully push her off his lap, disgusted by her basically humping his leg, but he didn’t.
Instead, he dug his fingers into her skin and slowly helped her move back and forth, pushing her down just slightly to give her the friction she was searching for. Y/N’s mouth dropped open in another little whine.
“Will you let me, then?” His eyes searched hers, gaze sincere, though Y/N didn’t know what he was implying, only half listening to him. She was clearly preoccupied with the delicious pressure pressing right up against her clothed clit.
“What?”
Harry laughed, a large, ringed hand slipping over her ass to squeeze lightly. “I said, will you let me make you feel good? Help you relax? Have you gone dumb already, baby?” Y/N couldn’t really do much other than nod frantically, afraid he might pull away if she didn’t say yes. The pet name melts her even further, paired with the way he was holding her like he was going to swallow her whole made her insides slosh.
She preens under his gaze, now holding the front of his sweater tightly between her fingers. “Yes,” Y/N breathed, “yes please.”
Harry wondered for a second if she was agreeing to being cockdumb or agreeing to him touching her but nonetheless he took it as his queue to push her off his lap and position her the way he wanted.
“I—what, I thought you we—“ Y/N protests, neediness evident in her voice and her hands which chased after his warmth, like she was afraid he was going to leave her be in this desperate state. Harry only pressed on her shoulder until she laid back on her back, hands coming to part her legs so he could fit between them, “shh.” A wet kiss was pressed to her cheek, like comforting a rabid animal, which Y/N was feeling exactly like as she stared at Harry’s frame cowering hers.
His curls hung past his ears and tickled her face when he slotted his hips between her legs so she could continue grinding down on him, “who knew you were such a needy little thing?” Y/N sighed in response. Another suckling kiss was pressed to her jaw, “do you need me to make you feel good, baby? Hmm? Need me to make it better?”
The way he was talking to her made her feral.
She had trouble believing this was the same Harry who irritated her to no end and pushed all her buttons to rile her up. Except this time he was pushing other kinds of buttons, moving his body around hers so perfectly Y/N wondered if this was like second nature to him.
“Yes. Please don’t tease me.” She commanded him and Harry chuckled at her desperation, lips sponging these warm, slow, gooey kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. When she went to sift her fingers through his curly hair, he pulled back to look at her. “You’re so bossy,” he accuses, pulling her thighs further up his hips, “it’s okay though. I’ll fuck the attitude right of you.” He grinded down against her, one strong roll of his bulge against her heat. “Are we going to have sex, Harry?”
“No.” He grinned.
“Why?” Y/N’s eyes crinkled in pain like he just told her her cat died and her lip jutted out in a pout which Harry quickly tucked away with his thumb. “Because,” he started, using that same hand to wrap around her throat, “we need to talk about that before we do anything. Don’t want to lose my best friend, do I?”
His rejection almost made Y/N cry and she would have had Harry not tightened his hand around her jugular. The cold press of his rings sent shivers down Y/N’s spine. “Why would you say anything then?” She asked, craning her neck to allow him more room to cover with his palm.
“I said I won’t have sex with you. Didn’t say I wouldn’t make you feel good.”
With that, he took the hand that made a home around her throat and patted her cheek, hard enough that the feeling went straight down to her tummy but soft enough that it didn’t hurt her like someone might think it would. He crawled further down her body, shoving her hoodie up with his hands and exposing her stomach to the cold air of the room. Y/N thinks he was trying to keep up some boundaries, bunching the shirt just below her tits like protecting some kind of modesty and pressing ticklish kisses across her skin and down her belly button. Her body tingled with anticipation, breath bated and eyes glazed as she watched him.
She felt him nuzzle into her tummy and inhale loudly, “you smell so fucking good.” Y/N giggled, taking pride in her extensive shower routine and incessant rubbing of various lotions into her skin, “thank you.”
When his mouth reached the waistband of her tiny shorts he murmured a small, “can I take these off?” To which Y/N hummed in agreement. She couldn’t agree with anything more. If Harry walked up and out of this room right now, Y/N was certain she would die.
Once they’re off, Y/N realised she was completely at his mercy. Her underwear is the only thing protecting her modesty, and with how wet she’s feeling, she doubts there’s anything left to the imagination down there, “would you look at that. You’ve soaked right through.” His fingers toyed with the edge of her wet gusset.
Another embarrassingly desperate sound left her throat and she pushed her hips in the air in search of some friction. Harry delivered a harsh slap to her thigh, “don’t move.”
His stern voice did unimaginable things for her but she complied and tried to stay as still as she could, which seemed like a task for the impossible with the teasing touches Harry delivered to her skin.
She never thought she’d be into something like this.
Something which reduces her to such a filthy, whiney mess.
That too from her best friend.
Harry doesn’t do anything for a while, just admiring how her pussy looked soaked through her panties, playing around with the lace lining of the fabric. He grabbed the gusset and pulled it tight against her so her folds swallow the cotton, “fuck. A little manhandling and this is what happens?” He more so makes a statement rather than asking her, punctuating his words by leaning down to lick a wide, sloppy strip across the cloth. It makes Y/N squeal and attempt to shut her thighs but Harry makes sure to hold her down, biceps bulging.
He pulled back to drop his fingers firmly against her clit, just keeping them there pressed tightly, feeling her heartbeat against the tips. “I thought I told you not to move.”
“Yes, I’m sorry please, please don’t stop.”
He went back to nosing at her covered clit, not making any attempt to wrap his lips around it. At this point Y/N was itching in anticipation, every ounce of her working not to rut her hips in his face and ride his tongue like she wanted to. When he finally touches her again, it's where the wetness pooled, soft suckling kisses over the fabric which made Y/N’s heart and pussy flutter.
She was incredibly frustrated, wanting nothing more than to rip her underwear off and shove his face into her but she held back, not sure if Harry would appreciate that after he made it clear time and time again how he preferred her to remain immobile while he played with her. Instead she waited until he was through with kissing every inch of her and when he finally peeled off her panties, she could practically come just from the prospect of having his mouth on her.
He doesn’t give her a second to think though, because his mouth is unrelenting. Teasing the tip of her button with his tongue before circling his lips around it and suckling in sweet, soft pulses. The sensation has her panting and gasping, squeezing his head between her thighs while one of his arms swung across her hips to keep her down and the other wiggled between the two to push her lips apart in a V shape. With her clit now exposed to the cool air, Harry zeroed in on the nerve and worked magic with his tongue, flicking it up, down, left, right and circling the button with such fevor Y/N could burst.
What electrified the experience was the sounds in the room, which were just sinful.
Her pussy squelched with each suckle Harry gave, making Y/N moan and pull Harry’s curls which in turn had him groaning lowly against her. It was an endless cycle of pornographic music.
When he pulls away from her clit, the pulsing it does is almost amusing, like it was personally begging for Harry’s attention. Instead he kissed down the length of her slit and took his time playing around with her folds, slicking her hole and letting his spit drip down to her ass.
It was so perfect and messy.
Before she knew it, Y/N’s thighs were shaking and Harry’s tongue was back to abuse her poor button. A couple more flicks and a harsh kiss pushed Y/N over the edge, her orgasm washing over her and nearly blinding her. It’s euphoric and the most intense she’s ever felt, no vibrator of hers or cock she’s ever had compared to what she was feeling and even then Harry didn’t let up on her pussy. He continued his assault, now both of his arms locking around her hips to tone down her thrashing. Only when she pushed his forehead away did he finally depart with a final lick across her slit and smiled at her fucked-out state.
He wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb and brought it to his lips, sitting up between her legs which she clinked shut. A second passes.
“Are you okay?” Y/N’s eyes were shut, an arm thrown across her forehead. “I think so.”
Harry giggled, leaning over her to remove her arm, “how’s it feel?”
“S’good. It was really nice. Thanks.” She was slightly dazed, too far gone to really understand what was going on. Her limbs felt like jell-o and she let Harry kiss her cheek again before lending her a hand to help her sit up. “I’m glad. Come on now. We need to clean you up.”
She doesn't know how she stood up from that godforsaken couch and how she made it to the bathroom, Lola returning from her retreat to her bedroom to wind around her ankles. Harry bent down to pet between her ears, “hello babydoll. Did you miss me?” He cooed.
She looked down at the pair and Harry easily sensed her wary gaze. A dashing smile was sent her way. “Do you need me to get you some underwear? Or are you afraid I’ll stumble across your array of sex toys?”
Y/N rolled her eyes. He was still the Harry she knew before he gave her the best head she ever received.
“You’re such a dick.”
“A dick that gave you the best orgasm of your life.” She couldn’t even argue with him on that. Instead, she flipped him off and disappeared into her room. Once she was all changed and wearing a fresh pair of undies and shorts, she walked out to see Harry passed out on the couch with Lola snuggled into his throat. It was then when her head finally returned to the ground and she realised the gravity of the situation.
The looming prospect of a long, painful chat in the morning hung over Y/N like a dark cloud, filling her with a gnawing sense of dread she suddenly couldn’t seem to shake.
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Divider by @firefly-graphics
Hiiiii i hope you like this one, first time posting in a long time so feeling a little nervous omg … leave feedback if you have any!!! Mwuahh
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Here is the link: https://www.tumblr.com/diegosouzalions/751493692329689088/diego-voc%C3%AA-ainda-tem-o-link-daquela-entrevista-em
Ah, right, thank you very much!
Okay, so for transparency, here's the (partial) transcript:
"Oh, blue's feet... [...] Well someone asked about Blue's feet. So there's this amazing--okay, so one of the plush--they made a plush doll of Blue. But since they didn't have information for her feet, if you turn her upside down she has these very strange little... you know uh.... shapes for feet that aren't based on anything that appeared in the show. Um, but I think it's fascinating and we all--we all kind of liked that solution. [...]" "I need to see this!" "[...]Well I think it would be--see, the thing about the gems is that they're... their bodies are very...it's kind of malleable. Like I think it's-- Sapphire may or may not have feet unless she's in a form that has legs and feet like in the baseball episode - you could say that she has feet under her dress or maybe she doesn't. And I often think of Sapphire and also Blue almost like pawn pieces in an Asari game, the way that they move and function--but they could have--they could have legs and feet any time that they want to, it's just a matter of--they have the power to change their bodies, so. That--that fluidity and flexibility on the gems is also really fun for design." "Look if I was solely Sapphire, if I was solely Blue, I think I might just float around and just only have feet for specific moments--like, I'd just be like-- (singing gentle tune to indicate floatyness) Okay. Now I wanna go do something, I wanna run, so here go some feet and then I'd just like (slurping sound) pull em back up again and (gentle singing again). (Laughing) For specific reasons only! I just want feet cos I wanna paint my toenails and I'm gonna put them back away. Life--and float for life again. Like--" "Yeah." "Like that would be sooo--In this pandemic that would be like a peak superhero. It would be like (undiscerned)--" "Optional." "Optional! Like, I don't need my feet this week. (claps) I'm good so--I'm gonna, I'm gonna tuck em away. And then just bring em back out when I need em. And then let me tuck em away again. Because life. That'd be such a good time!"
Which is I think a little different from saying they don't 'naturally have feet'. It's moreso that they can decide whether or not they do! It's flexible, and it's not more 'incorrect' or 'correct' for her to have feet.
I drew her current form with feet, because it looked better for the dress she was in, for that pose. She may remove them at her leisure!
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[3]
WE’RE GETTING IN IT NOW!
Not only did [Mysterious Lava Lamp Parents] pay the price of the closeness with their own children, they also paid the price of not being able to touch each other. 
THEY WENT INTO THIS JAM JAR ON PURPOSE.
IT WAS A PRICE THEY PAID WILLINGLY TO TURN BACK TIME. 
AND THEN WE SEE THE HANDS FROM PAGE ONE.
WE SEE THE BEGINNING OF THE MANGA. 
Which, it turns out, was chronologically in order! It wasn’t a vision of anything to come after it, it was a glimpse of [Mysteriously Unidentified Lava Lamp Parents] in their Jam Jar, where they went in order to turn back time, before the rest of the series happened. 
I’m guessing that means this is also how they knew to give Lava Lamp his instructions on going to the Clow Kingdom? Because something Else happened the first time around and they Turned Back Time to make sure Lava Lamp went there and caused Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle to happen instead? Which is wild to think about. And yet I'm not entirely sure if that checks out, since Evil Wolverine seems to be slightly outside of time. I suppose I could be wrong about that.
And yet I can’t see any other reason why they would have had to turn back time unless-
OH. WAIT.
… unless they were from the future? 
If they were future characters who went back to the right point in time to set the correct points in motion? 
I shouldn’t theorise about this too much, this is getting very farfetched and I’m absolutely running full speed ahead with very few facts but imagine. 
Imagine what that would mean, when added to the fact that they won’t show us their faces. 
There are only so many characters we would recognise. 
OR
WAIT
WAIT WAIT WAIT
OK
MORE SPECIFICALLY, THEY WON’T SHOW US THEIR ORIGINAL FACES
AT THE TOP RIGHT CORNER, THEIR APPEARANCES CHANGE WHEN THEY GO INTO THE JAM JAR
THEIR “OLDER” FACES ARE STILL UNSEEABLE, BUT THEY “TURN INTO” THE VERSION OF THEMSELVES WE ARE EXPECTING TO SEE FROM CHAPTER ONE. 
WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE AS FULL ADULTS. 
There is potentially the most unhinged possible answer about who Lava Lamp’s parents are based on what Clamp will and won’t show us. The main option that isn't Cardcaptor Sakura genuinely doesn’t make any sense.
BUT ALSO, LOGIC IS DEAD IN THIS UNIVERSE. THEY HAVE SET THAT UP. 
DID THEY SET THAT UP SPECIFICALLY SO THAT THE MOST RIDICULOUS ANSWER FOR LAVA LAMP'S PARENTS COULD BE CORRECT?
I JUST DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.
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showmey0urfangs · 2 days
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Do you think Louis in Dubai already knows about Armand's role in what happens to Claudia? It would explain why he doesn't correct Armand when he says he never harmed him. I've seen so many contradictory theories about that but I believe their relationship is real, it's just not fully honest.
Hi Anon! That's the million dollar question, isn't it? We don't really have a definitive answer but for my part, I think Louis already knows. I'd much prefer if the show stuck to that bit of book canon.
IMO it makes for more interesting storytelling than to have some cheap dramatic reveal at the end where *gasp, [cue young & the restless music ♫] Louis ✨uncovers a treacherous betrayal✨ after living with the ♥︎love of his life™ for nearly 80 years. Shock and horror!!! What will Louis do next? Tune in on Sunday to find out...
I know Armand is one of, if not the, most powerful mind gift wielder but even he couldn't possibly maintain such a massive lie for that long. Especially not when he and Louis regularly exchange blood.
And as I've said so many times before, Interview With The Vampire is Louis' story and it's about him trying to come to terms with his own mistakes and how they contribute to the tragedies he suffers. Like almost all the books in the chronicles, It's more about internal conflict than about some external evil that the 'hero' must defeat to save the day and get the girl. Jacob sums it up perfectly in his recent Newsweek interview where he says;
❝ I think this season is quite a confronting at what happens when you really dig into your own culpability to things that that you felt you were the victim in or ways that you felt were wronged. And how much did you play a part in both fronts and responsibility you're really willing to take for your own actions and the way that you manifested your thoughts and feelings?Louis is way more powerful than he would ever admit, he is way more responsible for the tragedy of his own life than he would ever admit. ❞ 
I've seen some hints here and there about the angle the show might approach it from. For example, Armand and Santiago's official character bios which I find very interesting;
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This suggests they will initially paint Santiago as the sole villain and Armand as a helpless spectator (I could not prevent it and all that)
But ultimately, I think it's crucial to the story that Louis knows the truth AND chooses to stay with Armand anyway. In the same way he says yes to Lestat's marriage proposal in the church, after witnessing him go on a murder rampage. In the same way he invites Lestat back into their home after Lestat beats him to a pulp and nearly kills him in episode 5, and then tells Claudia to "do better" when she's less than thrilled about it. In the same way, he can't bring himself to burn Lestat in episode 7, even while knowing it puts Claudia in potential future danger if Lestat were to come after them—which btw, he does and his testimony is ultimately what seals her fate.
I could go on and on but the point is that Louis is a complex and flawed character, whose desires and self-imposed morality are completely at odds. I think this season will be all about revealing just how flawed Louis is and I for one cannot wait to see all of it.
And no, unlike 'some people', it's not because I need Louis to be revealed as an evil liar because then it 'puts him on an equal level with Lestat and so Lestat's not so bad. 🤡 It's because just like Jacob says, I believe we need to allow space for black and brown characters to also be complex, flawed and even problematic at times. Let's be monsters and enjoy it! That's what makes for good representation and that's what makes for interesting storytelling. And don't worry Jacob, I'll still love Louis at the end no matter what he does! ♥︎
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yarrayora · 23 hours
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I bet there's a not insignificant portion of people who don't think Mahiru is doing that on accident
🪩kaitov3official follow
kjbdkjabKJSBDKJASDB ok. ok. so, mamahiru got his first ever talk show debut which is great. but it's also one of those japanese variety shows hosted by a comedy duo which really shows how much people are taking him seriously right now, which is not great.
but back to the thing that made me laugh. the hosts were trying really REALLY hard to make mamahiru the butt of the jokes. he brought up about how vampires are the best people for dealing with other vampires and the host was like "but wouldn't they just help their friend escape??" and mamahiru was like "you and [insert rival comedian name] are both comedians but you're not friends."
the Funny Guy laughs it off and says "well, i mean, i'm just saying vampires catching other vampires... it wouldn't be weird if they end up covering each other's asses."
and my beloved tumblr mutuals you will not believe what happened next.
mamahiru in his full glorious kindergarten teacher voice asks "we have cops in charge of catching criminals. are the criminals they're catching humans or vampires?"
funny guy once again fumbles "well, yes, they're humans but"
and mamahiru claps. CLAPS. tells funny guy he did a good job remembering!!! im going insane!!!
🎚️lichtansbootlicker follow
im losing my shit theres no way that wasnt on purpose
🪩kaitov3official follow
BUT IT WASN'T!!! mamahiru got REALLY embarrassed afterward he apologized
#hi sorry for spamming about this like threeposts in a row #i think we can fix the tories if we treat them like toddlers on live tv too
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🪩kaitov3official follow
beloved mutuals you would not believe what just happened during this week's nichiyo toron
for context it's a sunday morning talk show discussing Serious Issues in japan
guess who got invited as a speaker. guess what happened for the fourth time this week
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☠️alwaysunnyinthedas follow
jesus christ hes killing them
📯napoleonbonapartescockandballtorture
not sure if this is still relevant or even remembered by today's internet but you know that thing in evil overlord list that's like "one of my advisors is going to be an average toddler and if they can see any flaw in my plan then i'll correct it first" or something
this is what's happening in japan right now
#they should stop inviting him to live shows #EVISCERATED
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eddiedefender · 1 day
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“eddie is a bad father"
Since 7x09 aired, I've been seeing a lot of people saying that Eddie is a bad father, and it's just so ????????????? Have you even watched the show???????
I'm not denying the mistakes Eddie has made regarding Chris, especially during the first years of his life, but making mistakes does not automatically make him a bad parent. The important thing is that after making those mistakes, he has done everything in his power to correct them. He has always tried to shield him of whatever disasters or tragedies life has thrown at Chris.
So for those people, now I'm going to do a rundown of Eddie's and Chris' relationship, but I'm also going to be focusing on Eddie as a person and not only as a father. i tried to keep it in a chronological order. (I'm so sorry for any inconsistencies :( )
El Paso, TX.
Shannon and Eddie begin
Eddie and Shannon were never a healthy relationship. They are high school sweethearts who had to get married due to her getting pregnant accidentally at 19. High school relationships, especially the first ones, are almost never meant to last. Eddie forced himself to get married to her bc he felt it was the “right” thing, due to his catholic upbringing and subsequent catholic guilt. He automatically assumed his role, not bc he wanted, but because he felt like he Had to. This caused his marriage to be extremely dysfunctional.
Catholic guilt and his identity Eddie's catholic guilt is likely closely related to his identity as the son of Mexican immigrants. Catholicism in Latin America was introduced in a very traumatic and forced way by Spanish colonizers. Thousands of Native Americans were killed for refusing to converse to Catholicism, therefore causing Catholicism to become really intense in Latin America, a way in which it remains until now. Entire Latino countries values and laws circle back to catholic traditions, there is virtually no way to escape religion. This is then mixed with the innate sexism that is common in those countries, leaving a pretty extreme view of gender roles. When a kid is raised in these environments or, in eddies case, by people raised in these countries, their life will always be dictated by Catholicism rules, especially when the family is especially (extra) religious, as is implied in Eddie's case. Coming back to how people's life is dictated by Catholicism… this is especially true regarding matters of sexuality and gender. As we all know, Latino Catholicism has strict views regarding gender roles. A man should be the “provider” and “strong” and the woman should “take care of the family” and be “gentle”. That is basically what Eddie is. He always paints himself as the strong one, bottling up his emotions; and also thinks of himself as only the provider for the family. This heavily affected his relationship with Shannon. When he got her pregnant, he automatically assumed that role by marrying her.
Newfound “family”
His marriage and new “family” life caused to be so overwhelming that the only out he saw, was enlisting and going to war, leaving his newborn son and wife alone. All of this was done under the pretence of being the “provider” for his family, because he thought that was what they required from him. He didn't comprehend that his wife and kid also needed him emotionally. Sadly, that was never going to happen due to the very circumstances in which the family was created. He never loved Shannon enough to make things work between them; but he still tried, for the sake of Chris' and to give him a chance to have a proper family.
Shannon leaving
after coming back from war, Eddie and Shannon tried to live the “family life” but that came to be impossible and overwhelming for both of them. This time it was Shannon that left. When she left, Eddie ended up alone with his son, fresh out of the army and with a family that wanted to take away his kid. He instantly knew that Christopher could not go through the trauma of losing another parent. That's why he decided to fight his toxic family for Chris' custody and took him away to L.A., so that they could live and navigate their new family dynamic far away.
Los Angeles, California
Eddie begins again
When Eddie moved out to L.A. he was still discovering how to raise a kid with a disability and also fighting his parents for Chris' custody. He did everything he could to ensure his kid was well taken care of, shielding him from his own struggles. When he got the job at the 118, he still did his best to keep him in a sort of normal environment. Due to Chris' disability, this came to be more of a challenge, but Eddie never stopped trying to get him the extra help he needed by every means.
When he joined the 118 he met buck who then introduced them to Carla, the social worker. Then, Carla and Eddie started to work together, so that they could improve Chris' quality of life, always looking out for his happiness.
L.A. life
Besides Carla, Eddie also found his support system on the 118. These people always helped him in everything he required and became his friends; especially Buck, as his best friend. Eddie found in Buck a person very similar to him, one that had Chris' best interests at heart and someone that would fight tooth and nail for him. Seeing the positive impact buck made, he decided to make him a constant presence in Chris's life. This made nothing but improve both Chris' and Eddie's family life.
Nevertheless, life in L.A. was not so happy for Eddie. Although he had found a support system and strong friendships, he was still processing Shannon's absence. He always blamed her for leaving him and her son. However, he never made these concerns known to his son, as he didn't want Chris' to grow to hate his mother. The only people who knew about this were the 118, although he was always reluctant to be open about any feelings he experienced.
Shannon
All this came to a halt when Shannon came back to their already settled lives. At the beginning, Eddie tried to navigate his issues with Shannon, without letting Chris know that she had come back. He was afraid that Shannon would leave and therefore scar Chris again. He wanted to shield him from that pain.
After a while, Eddie decided that it was OK for Shannon to come back to Chris' life and for them to try to be a family again. During this time, Eddie and Shannon were still figuring out what they were and how they wanted their future to look like, while also living the family life for Chris' sake.
After navigating their family life and personal conflicts for a while, Shannon asked Eddie for a divorce. She died days after. This was a very big hit for both Eddie and Chris. They both navigated their grief together. It was not a perfect journey, but Eddie never stopped having Chris' best interests at heart.
(natural) Disasters
Soon after Shannon died, another tragedy hit Chris' life: the tsunami. Both tragedies resulted in Chris having recurring nightmares, sometimes blending the lines between his mother's death and the tsunami. Eddie was constantly worried about the state of his son, even though the latter was not opening up to him. He took him to the psychologist to see what he could do to make him feel better and process his emotions.
Mothers or girlfriends?
After Shannon's death, Eddie, maybe involuntarily, leaned back into the “provider” role, and he looked for someone to fill the “mother” role for Chris. His next relationships were solely based on how much Christopher liked his girlfriends. He was focused, perhaps too much, on what he thought was best for Chris. He never noticed that Chris' didn't need another maternal figure, he already had everything he needed in Buck, Carla, and the rest of the 118.
The only relationship he had, prior to L.A. was the one with Shannon. The outcome of that relationship left him severely traumatized and unable to form emotional bonds with women. And anxiety when thinking of a future or marriage with them. He only valued his girlfriends regarding on how much Chris' liked them, removing himself completely from his own relationship.
Grief
since Shannon died, Eddie has never got the chance, or given himself the chance, to grieve her properly. He has constantly bottled up his emotions, until he couldn't anymore, resulting in extreme reactions. Or, on the other hand, completely gaslighting himself into believing something that wasn't true.
First, soon after she died, while dealing with the aftermath of the tsunami and its impact on Chris' he stated to develop feelings of anger towards her. To try and “process” his rage, he turned to illegal fight clubs, only stopping when he almost killed a man. Eddie then confessed to bobby he did that so that he could keep his anger under control as to not let Chris down, seeing he was the only parent Chris had left.
Second, during the subsequent seasons, Eddie started to completely morph the mental image he had of Shannon and their relationship. Shannon suddenly became the epitome of motherhood and the perfect wife. He completely stripped her out of her humanity, putting her on a pedestal or an example he should seek to obtain. All of a sudden, they never had any marriage problems, and he even forgot that she asked him for a divorce. Their marriage was only perfect since the day she died.
His delusions have reached their breaking point in s7. He quickly fell down into a hole after seeing a girl similar to his wife. He started pursuing her, even though he already has a girlfriend. Also, leading this woman into a situationship without her knowing about the wife.
It was only after buck said something, that he realized that he wasn't even sure of what he wanted from Kim. He soon after came clean to her, and tried to stop their relationship. (then she matched his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 and actually got bangs and got into a weird role-play as shannon, to “try” to get Eddie to get over her, is suppose.... I don't even know what she was trying to do there😭😭😭😭). That is when Chris caught them. Eddie never intended for his son to see him in this broken state, and he had actually done a great job at hiding it until now.
This mistake does not erase how much Chris means to Eddie and all the things he has done to maintain Chris' wellbeing.
This is simply an example of a very broken man.
i wanted to clarify that when i refer to "catholicism" in the text im not talking about what the scriptures (Bible) say, i talk about how people interpret them in latam context. also im probably forgetting some things but I think this gets my point across.
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eagna-eilis · 2 days
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Depending on how S2 shakes out, if IWTV gets a Season 3, and I really hope it does, the writers are going to have such a difficult task squaring the circle with Lestat. Especially with casual non-book fans, and the understandable contingent of nonwhite fans who are delighted to have a supernatural show with protagonists of colour.
The writers can't just have a white guy flounce in and "well ACTUALLY" Louis and Armand as things stand now after S2E3. Even if the book girlies are all pretty convinced that Armand is a big lying liar in his telling of 1700s shenanigans, they're going to need to earn any correction of the record which Lestat might issue. Otherwise, it will alienate a part of the fandom that was brought on board by the fantastic changes made for the show if they don't handle it right. I don't think that introducing moral complexity and narrative duplicity to Black and Brown characters should automatically be considered a negative, surely everybody deserves to occupy every character archetype (including emotionally complex anti heroes), but it is going to need to be handled gracefully and thoughtfully.
They definitely have space to do this. Judging by the names on some of the Talamasca files on Daniel's laptop, Armand's extremely tragic backstory is in play. Assad plays Armand with incredible pathos, and infuses the character with something that is on the page in the books but which I never personally felt until seeing him onscreen. This will hopefully help in making sure the show isn't seen to be, or indeed actually, demonising its characters of colour in favour of Anne Rice's specialest blonde boy.
There's a traumatised desperation in many of these characters as they exist in the books. Lestat has a void in him that even the love of thousands seemingly cannot fill until towards the "wish-fulfilment AU" style ending of Blood Communion. Armand has extremely intense abandonment and control issues and a heartbreaking relationship with his own compulsive cruelty - he doesn't want to be awful, but he lashes out in his desperation. Louis in the books is the least developed of the three in this regard, and his traumas are very much the creation of the show so we shall see.
The show is going to have to maintain the pathos and sympathetic elements of all three men, to explore why they hurt one another and lie about one another. I think Lestat is going to have to go on a major redemption arc, too, though. Getting his POV isn't going to be enough, I don't think, even if we establish the extent to which Louis and Armand present him with false negativity.
In a different media landscape, perhaps one more comfortable with ambiguity and existing in a less fraught moment for social politics, this wouldn't be such a challenge. As it stands, though, a challenge it will be.
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moghedien · 9 months
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like ready to be proven wrong, but I don't think that Cadsuane is necessarily gonna appear any earlier than she did in the books. I think they're just setting her up better than in the books (ie not introducing her as an important player like right before she shows up and expecting us to be impressed by that)
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worstloki · 2 months
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Loki surveilling the skyline of New York from the top of Stark Tower and clocking that his favorite paired set of buildings are gone. sad
#everyone wants thor and loki to have visited earth a bunch of times and obviously they wouldn't be too invested in earth politics#but i think the concept of much time passing between visits should be taken advantage of#like what if one of them missed seeing the statue of liberty on their past 3 visits and now that's 'suddenly' a famous historic landmark#Loki like wow I sure hope that restaurant in the Soviet Union is still around!#and Natasha's head whips around so fast like you mean Russia or one of the surrounding countries that used to be part of the USSR#Loki: uhm. well. what's the difference#Natasha: here is a map of the countries does this help#Loki: it does not help but thank you for trying#Thor: what do you mean Rome is gone???? Rome was HUGE?????#Tony: well it's been a few centuries since then Europe is very different now#Thor: (visibly distressed) so the the sweet effeminate men enjoy the streets no more??#Tony: ...I don't keep track of foreign border laws about that#Thor shows up after 3 years and there's a new president and he's very confused through the entire meeting#brodinsons being so detached from the political scene but being so used to realm politics they come to correct conclusions about things#even though the timeline and how long things stay the same on midgard still messes with them#Loki: at least Egypt is still around#Thor: China also#Brodinsons visiting New Zealand(Aotearoa)/Australia/various British mandate islands before the British formally showed up#returning 2 centuries later and 'the gene pool has altered drastically' 'must've been a war'#well it's either that or since Asgard seems spared of colorism they treat all humans as the same and don't notice. which might be worse#on the colonisation and liberation side of things
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space-writes · 2 months
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Happy STS! What are your favorite scenes from your WIPs? (and if you would like share some lines <3)
hi anna, happy STS!
my favourite scenes are very often the big spoilery ones, the ones where a bunch of things all pay off and i get to write candy-bar moments full of emotion and drama. in recent years though i’ve been trying to make it so that every scene i write is a candy-bar scene, because if every scene has things i love in it, i’m excited to write all of them, and if i’m excited the theory is the reader will also be excited, and it’s a win-win all around
i also love every scene Sorrow is in because he is my favourite and I cannot lie about it. he’s a menace <3
i think probably the parts i end up liking the best all have dialogue in, because tbh it’s my favourite thing to do and one of my strengths. like i really love the banters/exchanges in Renegade Prince, where i get to play with fun dialogue and litter backstory and bits of worldbuilding. There’s so much you can do in a conversation!
(under a cut bc it's a longish excerpt)
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“It’s your home, isn’t it? You said you were Mohaadi.”
[Aliyne] shrugged. “I was born there. Doesn’t make it my home.”
“You don’t want to go back, then?”
“Not if I can help it. Plenty more to the world than Mohaade and Zhirasea.”
Zhirasea was the capital, if [Lucian] remembered the maps of Valloroth he’d studied correctly. A lot of it had probably been out of date but he’d committed them to memory all the same. He’d tried to commit every scrap of information on Valloroth to memory, back in Naazgarash.
“She can’t go back to Zirasea.” Zander leaned over the edge of the roof [of the wagon], resting on his forearms, grinning. “They’ll execute her. How about that, your highness, you’re travelling with a wanted woman.”
“As if you aren’t wanted in half the towns in Invereid,” Aliyne said. “Remind me how many places you’ve been chased out of again?”
“I am only wanted for crimes of love.” Zander rolled onto his back, gesturing wildly. “My passions cannot be contained by borders—”
“Or common sense,” Aliyne muttered.
“—whereas you, feral little alley-cat, managed to piss off the government of Zhirasea!”
“Did you rob the Council of Wives?” The shutters behind the front seat that lead into the wagon opened and Leshanna poked her head out, frowning. “I am amazed you’re still breathing.”
“One, I did not rob the Council of Wives.” Aliyne tried to glare at Zander and Leshanna at the same time and almost went cross-eyed. “And two, I will not be executed if I go back to Zhirasea. No-one there will even remember who I am.”
“That’s what she wants you to think,” Zander confided to Lucian in a stage whisper. “She’s notorious throughout the desert land!”
“Mohaade is not one big desert, moron.” Aliyne smacked him on the back of the head and he sat up, getting out of range.
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Valloroth taglist: @cherrybombfangirlwrites @reininginthefirewriting @memento-morri-writes @foxboyclit @lawful-evil-novelist @at-thezenith @morganwriteblr @fayeiswriting @serenanymph @sam-glade @viscerawrites (ask to be +/-)
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my in-program notes for this song are very professional 👍
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seddair · 18 days
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wheucto · 10 months
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the entirety of BFDI so far is 16:10:39 (hours, minutes, seconds). assuming the average sleep time is 8 hours, then that's a little more than typical waking hours
#wheucto#wheucto speaks#binging the entirety of BFDI in one sitting (from BFDI 1a to TPOT 6) is. possible. but barely#unless you like. stay up a long time_ later on this is just. going to be impossible#that is if you want to stay healthy sleep schedule-wise#and so far we only have 6 TPOT episodes. considering we have 35 (i think) contestants_ 2 contestants eliminated#if that stays true until. uhhhh. let's say an avg of 3 members per team for merge (or first merge)#3 * 6 = 18#that's almost half of 35. so it would take 17 or 18 episodes to get there if. i'm right which is unlikely#now if 1 contestant is eliminated after 1st merge that would take 15 for final three 16 for final two#if the same stays true (until final four/two) then it'd be 7ish for final four/three or 8 for final two#17 + 7 + 1 for the smallest estimate. that's 25.#each episode is about 25 minutes (assuming trends stay the same) so it'd be 625 minutes more (or 10 hours 25 minutes)#that is_ assuming that 1. tpot doesn't get canceled 2. 1st merge will happen when teams have 3 contestants avg#we'll need to wait about... 3 to 5 years (if the show gets completed) to see how many episodes (and how long they are) there'll be#(since assuming each episode comes in a month + half times that by 25 for a little over 3 years as the lower estimate and 5 as just. a vibe#- based guess)#if 625 mins is correct then it'd be over 26 hours long also known as more than a day. so. binge-watching all of bfdi is probably impossible#- when it all gets completed (assuming there isnt ANOTHER season after tpot. and who knows?)
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dramarants · 1 year
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I've said this before but as much as I was screaming at my screen, this is an opportunity for ttj to raise roots somewhere that not only includes the love of his life but also relationships without ridonkulous power imbalances among a supportive community and a new way of life outside the expectations set upon him since birth. who knows, maybe he'll choose to embrace his devil god fate lord knows the tension would not only be palpable but sexy af or maybe he'll become the supreme ultimate botanical sword master but he finally gets to be an active agent of his own life, choosing people, values, and goals for his own future, and hopefully, his journey (and lss's own growth returning + learning her identity) will reunite them knowing they're stronger, happier, and simply uplift each other when together. ttj's enduring love surmounted death and five centuries of agony to bring him to her place in the immortal realm, now it's up to them to figure themselves out and truly make it their home.
#till the end of the moon#I can see ttj becoming a devil god who's more devoted to his space goddess heiress/overseeing mortal trials than wreaking havoc#or embracing the cang jiumin persona to continue to fight fate itself and defeat the devil god with lss#whatever it is I see a transformation which could foster healthier yet equally passionate love and fulfillment down the line#with room for classic ttj unhinged dramatics ofc hehe#just gotta wait for the fluffy mushy pursual scenes that should come in the meantime bc w/o them my nerves might kill me 🙃#or maybe lovelorn/yearning lyx visuals will get me through#LMAO either way cackling at my irritation w/ this devil business parting them in a drama about a girl conflicted about loving a devil god#and my weird faith that this show ends happy - for all I know lss ends up killing ttj for real & I'll live the rest of my life hollow??#like he loves her till his last breath thinking it was really unrequited & she lives on in guilt/grief for the greater good till her time?#or he regresses and rages against her denial and ends up destroying the immortal sects and they lose each other?#I don't see it but#how fucked up would that be??#omg what if he sacrifices himself protecting the immortal realm bc he's learned to love the world as she does 😭 like a bittersweet ending#okay I'm rambling and stressing myself out more - bottom line: ttj might have some growth and maybe lss too#ranting#edit: the way I was correct and incorrect in the worst ways
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bloodsoakeddoodles · 1 year
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They pair nicely, considering
#Doodles#Pajama Sam#Florette#Luke Wigglebig#Flukette#More ship art because I can't be stopped lol#Does this count as OC x Canon? No I don't know those cake pop ladies I swear I've never met them in my life#They're just one-off designs for the purpose of showing off Luke's reactions lol don't mind them#They are cute tho#Thinking about Hitch of all things - the scene where he's teaching Albert the correct hand placement to be flirty but not skeezy lol#Luke's totally a gentleman don't even worry about his lurid past lol#Something something being respectful because he doesn't know what else to do with the culture shock lol#Florette's just having a nice time good for her haha#Kiss ♥ They have a pretty incredible height difference considering she's standing and he's laying down lol#Cute and fuzzed out about it ♪ I just like kisses to be enjoyable for everyone :3#And then not quite Getting™ what their partner tastes closest to lol - unusual flavours for both of them!#Personally I see Luke as cotton candy flavoured - not bubblegum >:P and not any fruit flavour just pure sugar haha#It's very unusual for Florette! She's familiar with fruits even if she's not That close with them#And technically Luke does know about unsweetened candies like cocoa powder which is derived from plants but still not it!#This clearly requires more testing lol#And finally a sitting in one's lap ♪ Luke is drowning in florets! Oh no ♪#There's also something cute about both of them having just one leg-like appendage#Just imagining swinging their whole body like a leg over the edge of a seat haha#Silly ♪
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moe-broey · 1 year
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What did she mean by this. Btw.
LIKE. It is SUCH an interesting observation coming from Veronica SPECIFICALLY, someone who has been notoriously out of touch with emotions -- her own emotions, and also struggles significantly with processing other people's emotions and understanding their intent.
And like thinking about this like. Alfonse has a tendency to be sincere even when he doesn't want to be. He can't help it. No matter how guarded he is, that sincerity always shines through.
But when I think about Sharena, like. I never think of her as Insincere. I never think of her as Fake-Nice, like the way I view Henriette at times. Where it feels like there's something more unsettlingly detached underneath her warm smile and overly affectionate demeanor. Which isn't to say I believe Henriette is secretly evil or something, I just think she has Something going on that makes it so I have never completely trusted her as a character and would Not be surprised if she was hiding something.
When I think about Sharena, I think maybe she's like. Try-Hard Nice. It's very hard to explain what I mean. But I don't believe she's insincere. I don't believe she's hiding something like Henriette could be. I think she's desperate? And takes a methodical approach to relationships, where she's set out on A Goal, which is to make a friend. If I say the right thing and act the right way I will succeed in being the perfect friend. She's incredibly open, but is she really? Does she know how to be truly open? Has she ever just let herself, be?
ALSO incredibly fascinating the implications of this for Veronica, having noticed this and saying it so confidently. I haven't delved super deep into Veronica's character, but... I just think it's interesting, that she struggles so much to process these things, and yet seems to be able to detect when something is off and untrustworthy to her. Even MORE interesting is how all this plays out with Letizia, where she trusted her completely. Ofc, in that case, you have to consider the entire context of their relationship -- Veronica never having had a reason to distrust her. Unfortunately I don't have a lot I can say on that though (<- emotionally cannot finish Book 6)
Idk I just. Sometimes I'll be reminded of a dialogue and it'll infect me with brain worms LMFAO
#feh#idk i think veronica has autistic swag. actually.#and honestly i sometimes play w the idea of alfonse autism but. it just doesn't fit. to me.#but sharena. also idk if it fits. but when i think about her tendencies.#it is SO reminiscent of masking and mirroring behaviors actually. way more focused on having a Correct interaction#than like. just letting it be.#not to mention just how detached masking/mirroring can make you esp if you've done it all your life#like in my case i also had the trans aspect going on trying to conform to feminity as 'expected' for years#to the point where. even the people i loved the most and who i was closest to. i was still distant. not there.#like my sisters have told me. ever since coming out and transitioning they feel like they actually Know me now#which isn't to say they didn't know me before. there was.. a barrier.#they loved me but couldn't see all of me.#and i think same goes for the process of unmasking my autistic traits and unlearning mirroring#and how this relates back IS how detached it can make you. detached from others. detached from the self.#you're mimicking something you do not understand. you don't understand why you don't understand.#you want to love and be loved. maybe. if i loved like you. i could show i love you. maybe it'll make you love me too.#none of this comes naturally. all of it is learned. if you fail you will try again. again. again.#you're likable. you have become likable. but are you loved? are you capable of love?#do you even know who you are? without the mirror and the mask?#idk i just think. sharena my good friend sharena. i do love you#sharena#fe veronica
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