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#which at first i felt a little weird about bc who am i to post twice in one day
puppyeared · 25 days
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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withleeknow · 8 days
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whiskers.
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pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff; reader has whisker dimples bc this is self-indulgent as hell, written in one sitting and v unedited lol it is once again 2am and i am half asleep. the fake cut mimo has on his cheek in the pics is kind of exactly where my whiskers are lmfao word count: 0.6k
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / masterlist / ko-fi
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"whiskers," minho says, pulling your gaze away from the laptop in front of you.
you roll your eyes half-heartedly, though you do put the device to the side to give minho your undivided attention. he's looking at you expectantly but patiently, like he's just asking you to give him a little love.
this isn't something that you've always liked about yourself, your whisker dimples as the internet has so lovingly deemed them these days. they would come out when you smile, or when your face twists into an unpleasant scowl. as a kid, people often found it odd how you had dimples so high up in your cheeks when others had them around their smile lines. you always felt a little different, a little weird whenever someone pointed this out even if it was only in harmless fun.
when minho first became aware of it, he was absolutely fascinated. he'd made you laugh so hard that you couldn't contain the bright grin that spread across your face as complete and utter joy took over you. you were clutching his arm, giggling at the story he was telling you when the dimples showed themselves, the cute indentations settling on top of your cheeks as if they were the physical manifestation of the happiness you felt inside.
you remember what minho did. he had cupped your face gently in his hands, then traced the soft lines with his fingers as he marveled at you. "you look like a cat," he had said, and you didn't really know what to make of it. it was so early in your relationship that you weren't sure if he was complimenting you or making fun of you like the others had.
but then the stars in his eyes twinkled a little brighter, the delighted quirk of his lips expressing his wonder better than words could. he had kissed you right there, softer and sweeter than he ever did in the short time that you had known each other back then, and you quickly learned that oh, maybe this little detail about yourself that you were embarrassed of your whole life was a good thing after all.
you still don't know the reason minho likes them so much. to you, they've always been something to ignore as best as you can, something to not draw attention to because you don't want people to highlight that maybe you're a little different from everybody else.
even as you sit here, years later with the love of your life who's got a very particular request for you, you're still not entirely sure why he's obsessed with your odd dimples enough to want to see them almost every day. it's a mystery to you and yet, it makes you feel all warm and bubbly inside whenever he sends this simple demand your way.
you adhere to his request nonetheless. when the dimples appear, you watch as a smile blooms on his face, growing bigger and bigger until it makes his eyes crinkle. like an instant boost of serotonin, you think.
minho traces them with gentle fingers, gazing at you in awe as if it's the first time he's seeing you like this. when he leans closer, you can't help but meet him halfway until his lips are tentatively brushing your cheeks. you can't help your own smile either, when it deepens and only accentuates the small moon-shaped dents which he kisses. five times on each side, and then he's peppering kisses all over your face while you laugh and accept the sudden burst of love.
sometimes he calls them whiskers, sometimes he calls them moons.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 31.05.2024]
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cleavetheclover · 1 month
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Clver, think about it...shadowire (platonic or romantic) domestic fluff,,, or just fluff,,, angsty fluff? ps this is just my sleep deprived ramblings
Like...
- Post Hourglass Omen being found by Cypher (probably willingly i don't see Cypher going to go see Omen if he'd rather not see Cypher) and just...a talk. Omen venting. Cypher comforting Omen and listening quietly. And then cuddles. A kiss when Cypher leaves Omen be again and an orange, "for luck," Cypher would say (knowing it had no such meaning)
- Pre Hourglass, Omen coming to see Cypher at night, cuddles and physical intimacy mixed with quietness, because if nothing else Over feels just a little more grounded when Cypher is holding him.
- Cypher noticing little quirks Omen has. Sometimes Cypher tells Omen about what he's noticed. Omen enjoys it because it at least means he's still human if nothing else. (I mean, what kind of monster has a preferred sitting position or a certain kind of wool they enjoy knitting the most?)
- Above, but roles exchanged. Omen notices things about Cypher that makes him Cypher and some that makes Amir. It's weird, Cypher thinks, I'd hate being known but it feels natural with Omen. (Inspired mostly by hermit card, which normally means like being known by no one but yourself)
ehh welp thas all i got in the brain goodnight I'm by no means asking you to draw any of these i just saw your ask thingy and went "bet lemme think"
Noooooo stop I stg every single member of the cyphmen community has the exact same headcannons please 😭😭😭
(Not that I’m complaining, that just means more food for all of us)
ANYWAY all of these are wonderful ideas and I definitely want to write all of them!!! Unfortunately I am rather swamped right now bc senior design is kicking my ass and job hunting is harder than ranking up in val, and my current hyperfixation is a game called Noita…
But I’ll definitely get back to writing as soon as my life stops being as volatile as a bucket of acetone.
Also I wrote a short thing for the hourglass thing I hope you like it! I’ll respond to the other prompts later
Post hourglass Omen:
I think he would shut himself in his room for a while and just sit there, completely overwhelmed and not sure where to go or what to do next.
Since it’s cannon that Omen can sense others emotions, I think pre-HG Omen would have already sensed a timid friendship and significant fear from Viper, but it wasn’t until post-HG that he knows why. He’s having this world-shattering realization that one of the few people he has trusted and befriended in this lifetime not only doesn’t return that friendship, but actively fears him, and for good reason.
Imagine learning that your best friend fears you, for an incident you would have never learned of—had you not hired a shady information broker to find it out for you.
Confirming that she sees you as a monster— something you never wanted to be.
Yeah, I’d be pretty lost and upset too.
So Omen is gonna be hiding in his room trying to figure out a path forward and simultaneously avoid thinking about said path forward.
Cypher, being the nosiest man alive, a friend of Omen’s, and also the guy who helped orchestrate the mission in the first place, is not gonna sit there and let Omen feel so alone.
He shows up and Omen really wants to just slam the door and tell him to fuck off, but he really doesn’t have the energy (and also can’t really afford to burn more bridges at the moment). So begrudgingly he lets him in.
Cypher softly says his name, “Omen,” but the shadow doesn’t dare look him in the eye. Instead he stares at the sentinel’s belt. Browth leather. Battle-worn. Probably replaced several times over, like Omen’s own combat gear.
The sentinel approaches, and Omen can feel a protective sentiment befitting his role as a Sentinel. It’s soothing, he’s felt it before, but he really wishes he weren’t the subject of such a keen emotion right now.
Cypher’s gloved hands come up to rest on the sides of his own shoulders. The intent is to be reassuring, but Omen doesn’t find it to be such. What is he supposed to do with his own hands, anyhow? Touch Cypher’s shoulders? His belt, or chest?? His waist???
Well, the chest option is gone, because the next thing he knows Cypher’s chest is pressed against his own. And his arms are wrapped around his back.
Omen always knew humans were warm, but for some reason, he had always imagined Cypher to be cold. Maybe it was the utter lack of skin showing. The minimal expressions in his mask. The way he never so much as brushed hands with anyone else in the Protocol, as if he were a robot like KAY/O. Hell, the literal killer-bot had a warmer attitude than Cypher most of the time. Maybe it was…
Whatever.
Cypher is warm. Like any other human. Embracing him without any reservations at all.
No fear. No pity. No grief.
It makes him feel like, for one moment, that maybe he isn’t a monster after all.
Omen responds in the only way he can think of: he ducks his head down and buries his face in Cypher’s collar, and lifts his hands up to Cypher’s back and pulls him as close as he can.
He smells like bar soap and leather. And something else more organic, musky almost like sweat, but that can only be described as subtle and pleasant.
Alas, their embrace cannot last forever. Poor Cypher is a man, not a scented candle or a stuffed animal that can be basked in or embraced forever. Omen releases him, already missing the warmth and the scents and the textures and the intimacy, but he would rather save face and keep Cypher comfortable than anything else.
Cypher seems… satisfied.
Omen isn’t sure how he feels.
There’s a long pause.
“I am not my past,” he blurts, immediately wishing he didn’t. He almost says something else to brush it away, but he knows that doing so will only dig a deeper hole for himself. He says nothing more and hopes Cypher will have the courtesy to do the same.
But the Sentinel, as always, has other plans.
“Neither am I.”
Omen’s gaze snaps up at that.
The Sentinel then reaches into a bag of items that he had discarded upon entering, and produces a ball of yarn and a small tin box.
“I have spent the last decade of my life paying for crimes too heinous to be named.” He comes to stand in front of Omen once again. “They called me everything from a villain to a monster to, well. ‘Villain’ and ‘monster’ in more callous terms.”
Cypher chuckled humorlessly. Omen dared not ask who ‘they’ was referring to, but got the feeling that he didn’t need to.
“I am not absolved from my past. I cannot fix the innumerable lives I have ruined or the things I have destroyed.”
Then he lifted the little tin up to his face. “But then again, what kind of monster has a favorite type of tea?”
In his other hand, outstretched to Omen, was the ball of yarn. “Or a favorite type of wool?”
Omen just stared at it. Cashmere imported from India, said the label.
“To the best of my ability— which admittedly isn’t much— I left it all behind.” Cypher somberly bushes the tips of gloved fingers across his masked cheek. “My name. My face. My skin, even.”
Omen tilted his head at that last one. It sounded painful. But then again, what about Cypher’s existence wasn’t?
“Like me, you might carry the legacy of a monster. But that does not mean you are one.”
The cashmere is soft in Omen’s hands. He runs his thumb along each strand, marveling in the gift. On its own, it didn’t feel deserved. But when he looks back sees the tin of tea being cradled in Cypher’s own hands, it does.
Former monsters sitting under a warm roof with their silly little domestic joys: the thought of it almost makes Omen laugh.
Cypher must have seen the way the tension eased from Omen’s shoulders, because now he is chuckling too.
Bastard.
“Omen,” the informant takes the revenant’s hand and says his name with that dratted melody of affection in his voice, “Would you like to knit while I brew us some tea?”
———————————————
Since you suggested an orange:
It’s a very cute idea— I think oranges are for luck and wealth in Chinese culture, not sure about other ones tho.
Unfortunately I’ve come to kind of associate them with mourning. My grandma passed away last summer, and my grandpa and I leave flowers and oranges on her gravestone when we visit. So I didn’t feel like writing that into this little story lol
And yeah I also incorporated your “what kind of monster has a favorite kind of wool?” Thing in here wahoo
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xerith-42 · 5 months
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I decided to watch Void Paradox
I'm about five minutes into the first episode and I'm still not entirely sure if this is a good idea or not, but Laurance has already spoken like three lines of dialogue and I felt my heart wrench at just one of them, so clearly I'm in too deep now.
This post serves as my live tweeting/mental break down that I am currently having as we speak. It is very incomprehensible because it is literally just my thoughts as they happen, and given how much I have to say, I'll probably make proper posts out of a lot of these points once I finish the series.
This mess is just giving you a taste of the madness I truly posses.
I am only three minutes in before I have to pause and feel the urge to scream about how bad the dialogue in Aphmau series can be. Like this series is fairly okay, especially based on the standard set by her other shows but man... something is just not working here. The whole thing feels very clunky and while I can get the gist of what Jess is going for, the execution of said gist is leaving a lot to be desired.
[Laurance shows up]
nevermind Laurance is on screen and fully voice acted everything is better
Literally nobody talk to me I need to scream about Laurance Zvahl because he is EVERYTHING in this series. The way he very softly says Aph's name when he sees her, the immediate instinct to hug her because he's so relieved to see her, the fact that you can hear the smile in his voice the minute he registers that she's there and alive!! AUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!
And I literally screamed when he revealed that he was transported to this AU right at the end of season 1. Oh my Irene, I screamed. I collapsed. I was truly defeated by a single line of dialogue. I don't know where this series is going to go but I am here for it. And the fact that he knows Garroth did it and hid it from her???
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I can't overstate how genuinely healing it is to hear Laurance fully voice acted. I know Sebastian Todd is retired from voice acting, but when he retired, he took down all his posts, including what I considered to be a comfort video. That video of him reading iconic Laurance lines from before he was in mcd/lines he just didn't act? That video was my everything when I was trying to hold onto this version of the character I knew I loved who was different to what Jess made him. When that video got taken down it was a major cowabummer bc there's so little properly voice acted Laurance content that isn't mcd Season 3 or My Street stuff (and I can't stand My Street like 80% of the time)
Hearing his voice, hearing him get to be properly expressive, it's just doing things to me man. I missed this character a lot. I've mostly been enjoying him through fan content or my own work. It's nice to say I enjoy a piece of canon content involving him, at least so far.
Still not sure how I feel about literally anything else. The whole relationship between Aph and Tommy feels very... weird. She describes herself as "basically his mother" after she's left with him, and treats him like it in the opening scene. But then when he's mocking her for being attracted to Laurance (so relatable), it seems really weird for a [checks wiki] 14 year old kid to be calling out his mom for finding someone hot. Feels a lot more like sibling dialogue to me? Which I guess they could be seen as siblings, but the series explicitly stated that she views it like motherhood??? But I don't think Jess is even thinking that deeply about it, I just over analyze her work for fun at this point.
Okay what the actual fuck is going on with the inside of this house???
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Why is the color scheme purple and yellow? And not in any kind of flattering way which is possible with opposite colors, it just has both of them. The wallpaper changes when you get into the living room except not entirely on the windows, and in an earlier scene it looked like it wasn't even put onto all of the walls. And the wood that she used as supports just does not compliment either of these colors as they are. Just make it all purple, you know you want to Jess.
Also is the texture on the table and the glass the same??? I don't know a damn thing about modding or making texture/data packs for minecraft but that just seems. odd.
Laurance: mentions the nether Me: [screams just a little]
Tommy: shows up and gives a random ass lore dump Aph: Kay thanks go back to your room
"I don't know what I can do to help."
"Just be there for me. I just need someone to ground me right now."
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I literally want to shake Laurance around like a rag doll and give him a stupid kiss on his stupid fucking face UGH why can't I be normal about this block man and his stupid feelings?!?! The way his voice breaks as despair sets in?? The fact that he's no doubt pieced together that Garroth probably stole the amulet and plans to use it to hurt Aph and he can't do anything about it?? I'm literally losing it.
How did I not watch this series before.
Literally about to cry over him just calling Aph "M'lady" out of pure instinct. He didn't consciously do that. He just misses her that much.
oh no spooky evil alternate Laurance or whatever--
MAN I'm so happy I decided to watch this series. This was probably a mistake though :)
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muraenide · 4 months
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This miiiiight be oversharing personal sentiments a little bit but...
Ever since I changed my rules to include an explicit list of what I'm going to write on this blog instead of just a simple, brief statement saying "dark things will be present here" and started actively following people or mutuals of mutuals whose muses or writing I am genuinely interested in/have spiked my interests, I've grown a lot happier about the contents and people I'm seeing on my dash.
I felt like tum.blr rpers have grown incredibly judgemental and incapable of minding their own business. People all around me seem to have shifted their energy onto focusing on offending as few people as possible instead of trying to actually have fun, and the rpc has become a weird circle for activism when it shouldn't have been used as a medium for (false) activism in the first place. Not all of us are here to make a point or to establish a legacy. In fact, most of us are just here to have fun and scratch an itch in the brain or fill in gaps that canon source materials haven't been able to provide. But the idea of this is incomprehensible to some people who are actively ruining the rpc and making everyone fear that they're walking on eggshells while they spiral into a depressing state of existing to not offend anyone instead of existing to have fun.
I've lost count of the number of times people tell me that I'm on a DNI for "writing with pro.ship.pers" or "writing romantic ships with an adult and a minor" (<- said ship is between a 17 y.o. and a 19 y.o.) sometimes it's also ships about fake incest.
(Just as an aside, I've grown so desensitized by being on DNIs that it's no longer something to feel anything about. I'd just go through their rules with a very confused expression if to see what they took issue with. Most of the time I don't even know the mun personally.)
I've gotten more hate directed at me for writing fake in.cest rather than real ones, which is not only baffling but also incredibly ODD bc the fandom "decides" what is good and what is bad, which reeks heavily of manipulation and toxicity in my opinion. Fandoms aren't governed by a single party or a monolithic authority that decides its rules. Fandom rules are made by the community, and in every community, there should be different rules, made to ensure everyone is comfortable and feel inclusive. That is what makes fandoms special and detached from reality. Yes, you're entitled to not want to interact with certain content for reasons no one else is entitled to know unless they have your consent, but you're definitely not entitled to silence/stomp out everyone to cater to your whims or risk getting hate/harassment. Which is why I heavily encourage tagging content as-is instead of denying the nature of said content and praying that no one notices because that is the best way to make it difficult for people with different preferences and tastes to co-exist.
And ever since I changed my rules and actively followed people again, there has been a variety of content on my dash with varying tags. It's honestly very stimulating and uplifting, and if I firmly believe if a mutual were to take offense to anything I write or choose to interact with, it's on them as they clearly did not go through my rules when they followed/followed back. Additionally, I tag all my things.
A few months ago, my dash was exhausting, and boring, everyone (or most of my mutuals) was scared. Now I see posts getting tagged "necrophilia cw". I'm very happy for both my mutuals and their muses for striving for the peaks of how far fiction writing and the imaginative side of the mind can go.
I'd highly recommend anyone who has been in a similar situation to list down your dos and don'ts so your mutuals will know what to take to your tables and what to not. Personally, it felt like my dash had curated itself and it's been very pleasant to be on tum.blr lately even if I still have to vanish for a few more days due to inrl.
I think about my dash very often this week and I love all of you guys for being here and showing me your brainrots/muses! 💗💞💓
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coryothesub · 6 days
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Better Now?
Hi, I’m back, not in the bestest place both physically and mentally and very sorry to everyone who has sent in lovely asks recently. I’ve resumed working on them, but for now I can offer a fully self indulgent semi-autobiographical oneshot about Dr. Sejanus Plinth (hey, we all know he wanted to be a medic so very fitting), which is heavily based on my first ever hospital experience.
No, I didn't have a hot doctor that looked like Sejanus, instead I was treated by a couple of pretty funky dudes, but the story about the two surgeries instead of one is completely true (they had to perform a 2nd one, bc they hadn't noticed everything that had to be fixed before the 1st one). Horny roommates are also based on very real persons and the post surgery pain as well as the sickness from the painkillers are unfortunately real (that's why I wasn't really able to write although I kinda wanted to). Oh and the weird tingling sensation around stitches during orgasm is also apparently a thing. Okay sorry for tmi let's get into the smut.
nsfw / mdni / doctor!sejanus / patient!reader / mentions of hospital and some real medical horrors
“Dr. Sejanus Plinth, I’m going to perform surgery on your broken leg and ensure a steady way to your recovery,” he stood at the foot of your bed on your first day at the hospital looking hella handsome wearing his little glasses and a snow white scrubs.
You were feeling shit scared since it was your first time at the hospital. He always tried to cheer you up, tell you a funny joke or take you on a little wheelchair ride. Your roommates said he was obviously flirting, but you always got flustered and brushed it off as professional niceness.
He was ever so clean and perfect, his dark curly hair impeccably styled and a trail of expensive cologne following him wherever he went. How could he possibly fall for the messy looking girl in the hospital bed? Your hair was dirty, you were sweating profusely from the sickening painkillers that probably made you stink.
You couldn't remember any time when you were in so much pain other than the first two days after the surgery. The only thing keeping you sane was  Dr. Plinth’s reassuring smile that appeared above the little curtain right after the surgery. He nodded at you and said “It’s over!”
You had taken it quite literally, not suspecting what was awaiting you in the coming days. Right after the anesthetics wore off the pain became so insufferable you were just silently crying in your bed feeling like your leg was about to explode from the inside.
The nurses pumped you full of painkillers until you dozed off and the first face you saw next morning was Dr. Plinth.
“You are such a good girl, you did so good,” he smiled softly and you weren't quite sure what he was referring to. Was it your performance of laying horizontally during the surgery? Well you didn't have much choice since the lower part of your body had been paralyzed by the anesthetics.
“That hot doctor, he’s totally into you,” your roommates teased, but you just tried to focus on the fact that you were set to get out of the hospital in two days.
Then the bad news came. Dr.Plinth stood at the foot of your bed, his face darkened by concern.
“There's this other thing. A rupture of ligaments. We were able to notice it only after the first surgery. I am afraid I'm gonna need to perform another one. I am really sorry for that.”
You literally felt like you were gonna burst out in tears, but you clenched your jaw, wanting to look stronger than you actually were.
“It's alright Dr.Plinth. What needs to be done has to be done,” you spoke calmly, but your mind was rehashing everything you were bound to go through again. The wait, the anesthetics, the excruciating pain in the first few hours and the discomfort every time you had to move your leg, even if only to sit up for a meal or go to the bathroom.
“How are you feeling today?” The next day you were woken up by the lively voice of Dr. Plinth. Despite your protests, he came to check on you every morning and since your first surgery sort of  failed, he also came in every evening. You weren't sure whether he did that out of guilt or other feelings.
“Have been better,” you sighed with a grim poker face that prevented him from telling whether you were angry with him or just tired.
“I'm so sorry the first surgery wasn't sufficient,” the poor young man started apologizing in front of your roommates. “You weren't supposed to go through that again.”
“It's alright Dr.Plinth,” you batted your eyes at him, making his pretty chubby cheeks blush immediately. “I know you would want only the best for me.”
His hand was resting on the pillow pile next to your casted leg and you ran your fingers over it, almost making him jump at the sensation.
Your roommates were watching the interaction with great interest, probably thinking you both were gonna start making out right then and there.
Feeling their gaze burning through his back, Dr. Plinth offered you a little wheelchair ride. A bit reluctant, you still got yourself out of the bed and let him help you get on the wheelchair.
“Where are you taking me? Do we need another x-ray or a CT scan?”
“No,” Dr.Plinth chuckled. “They don't perform tests at this hour, except for the emergency room. I wanted you to see this.”
He wheeled you to the end of the hallway and stopped at the large window where you could see nothing but endless forest continuing all the way to the horizon. A fiery red sun was sinking above the treeline making you gasp quietly at the sight.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Dr. Plinth leaned down and you could feel his hot breath lingering on your neck. It seemed almost romantic.
“I come here and watch the sunset at every opportunity when I have the time during my shift. It helps me blow off the steam a bit.”
You turned your head to the side and looked into his soulful brown eyes. He looked even more handsome in high definition.
“It must be hard to work here,” you gave him a sympathetic look.
“Oh, it's just me, as much as I try I can't get myself desensitized to the whole process. I see people hurting every day. And when they hurt, I hurt. That's why I feel so damn guilty every time there's more pain that could have been avoided. Like your second surgery…”
He leaned down closer to you, his lips just mere centimeters from yours.
“I just want to make it up to you. I swear, if I could I would do anything to make you feel better.”
“Anything?” A glimpse of mischief sparked in your eyes.
Dr. Plinth swallowed thickly and nodded.
Quite unexpectedly you cupped his face and smashed your lips into his, something you had been longing to do for quite a time. His lips felt so soft and plump, even better than you could have ever imagined.
Dr. Plinth immersed himself into the kiss, parting his lips to allow your tongue to explore his velvety mouth.
When you two finally broke the kiss to catch some breath, he adjusted his glasses panting softly and looked deeply into your eyes.
“Dr. Plinth, your lips feel so soft,” you chuckled shyly, feeling a treacherous blush filling your cheeks.
“I think you can call me Sejanus at this point,” he looked flustered yet eager to continue your little adventure. 
Sejanus grabbed your wheelchair and opened the nearest door with a plack that said “Sanitary chamber”.
You found yourself in a small room stuffed with toilet tissue, different wipes and sanitary mats, the last rays of the setting sun breaking through the neat stacks of supplies.
Sejanus immediately connected his lips to yours again, his hands running up and down your sides underneath your t-shirt. You gasped as he cupped your naked breasts while gently sucking at your lower lip.
“You know, I could make you feel better in an even more effective way,” he whispered against your lips, his warm hand diving under the waistband of your pajama shorts.
You shivered at the sensation of Sejanus's skillful fingers pressing against your clit, discovering that you were already threathcerously wet.
“What an eager girl,” your doctor groaned as his digits massaged your sensitive bud at a steady place, causing you to let out a series of soft moans against his lips.
Sejanus kept a tight eye contact while letting his two fingers slide inside your squelching wet count while his thumb kept rubbing your clit. It was truly amazing how he managed to cover the whole field.
“Fuck, you’re really good with this!” You moaned as he trailed small kisses down your neck sucking harshly at the spot where it met your shoulder.
Sejanus chuckled mischievously.
“I'm a doctor, we are taught how to touch people in the correct manner.”
“God, did they teach you this at the medical school?” You threw your head back, feeling your legs shaking from the immense pleasure.
“No, princess” Sejanus let out a small laugh, nibbling at your earlobe. “I guess I figured that part out myself…”
Squelching sounds filled the small chamber as he kept fingerbanging you and you tried your best to stifle your moans to avoid the whole floor finding out about your evening shenanigans.
“Oh… Dr…. Sejanus, I’m gonna…” your attempt at building a sentence was cut off by a loud moan as you came all over his fingers, your body shaking and a weird tingling feeling echoing through your stitches.
“Better now?” Sejanus asked in a gentle voice after pressing another soft kiss to your lips.
You nodded, still coming down from your heights as you watched him grab one of the countless tissue packages and gently cleaning you off.
“There you go,” Sejanus smiled, turning your wheelchair back to the exit.
“Wait!” You gave him a concerned look. “Shouldn't I… Return the favor?”
Sejanus graced you with a soft smile, brushing a stray strand of hair off your forehead.
“This was me trying to make amends because I fucked up, remember? Plus, I have to get back to work.”
You pouted, wishing this moment would last longer. Sejanus noticed and tilted your chin up gently giving you a mischievous wink.
“Nobody said we cannot keep practicing this as a form of therapy though.”
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golbrocklovely · 18 days
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Just like Sam is trying to convince us he is happy with his not so deep quotes, Colby as well seems to be doing the same with his relationship with Malia.
Now don’t get me wrong on this one, but Colby has always been the more private one with his life out of two of them. All of his previous relationships he kept private, we were only suspecting if he has a thing going on with them , cause unlike with Malia , there was never really a confirmation.
His post confirming Malia being his gf on Coachella was a confident move made most likely by all the hate his girl was receiving from some people who do not seem to known something like living their life. However I cannot seem to have a feeling that the posts following the official confirmation of their relationship felt more like Colby trying to convince his fans that he is happy. Like look at Sam and K , we all know they are couple as well, but we don’t see Sam acting this way towards his gf, even tho out of two of them it was always Sam who was more open about his private life, rather than colby who was very very discreet about it. I don’t wanna sound rude or jump into assumptions too quick as all the things are still fresh and we yet to know those girls, but Colby has been acting out of his character for me. What i mean is that if Colby would just confirm his relationship and then as he always do, keep the rest to himself, then i would be more convinced that he is actually happy. Because if we are truly happy , we don’t need to tell others that we are and convince them that we are. It’s like real friendships for me. If you feel the need to constantly remind others that this one is your good friend, then won’t that sound like you are more convincing yourself that it’s t the truth , rather than friendship being actually real?
But hey, this is just my feeling and i am just worried because most of my feelings unfortunately most of the times turn out true ( like when i had a feeling Sam and Katrina will break up , cause they seemed off before their official break up and it happened unfortunately). I hope I don’t sound weird or mean
i don't personally agree with you.
i think this is just an unprecedented time bc, like you mentioned, we've never seen colby as a boyfriend before. if we're to go off of what he has claimed, the last time he truly dated and had a gf was in 2016, and that relationship he kept completely under wraps. every other girl he's been with since has never been serious enough to be a gf of his. and i think his reasoning for not sharing all of those girls is one, he wants privacy and two, introducing someone to the fandom that might be gone in a week is a just a little odd. so, i don't think we can jump to the conclusion that what he is doing is excessive strictly just bc we don't know what normal would be for him.
i mean, if we think about it for a moment, no one ever told sam he was doing too much when he would post kat (relatively) daily. and colby's not even doing that. he's posting malia every so often or when they hang out, which isn't daily. so, i'm a bit confused on why it feels forced.
not only that, but as someone who has paid attention to his love life and the girls he's hooked up with in the past, him commenting a bunch or liking edits is really not that out of character. he did that in the past with flings, he just chilled out on it in recent years bc he was getting caught more often doing it since there are more eyes on him. and then on top of that, taking into account all of his tweets over the years, he has mentioned being the type of guy to post his girl a bunch, not minding a high maintenance gf, being obsessed and wanting to showing off his gf a lot, and cutting other girls off if he's interested in someone.
none of this is really unusual given the fact that for years he's basically aired it all out lol
and comparing them to sam and katelyn isn't really a good comparison. first and foremost, while some fans don't like malia, a very loud majority don't like katelyn at all. like she is basically the devil incarnate to some of these fans. idk what the fuck she did to piss so many ppl off, besides start dating sam after he broke up with kat, but for some reason she gets under fans' skin in a way that's concerning. so i think he doesn't post her bc he knows how much hate she's gonna get. which is also why she's gone radio silent to some degree (or at least doesn't post as much as she once did).
and secondly, sam basically said in a livestream or pod on xplrclub right after the pics of him and katelyn leaked from nye that he wasn't trying to show this girl off bc it was so new and so close after him and kat broke up. he literally called her a friend lol i don't see him announcing they're together until a year in (so possibly somewhere in august/september). which also brings me to the other point, everyone knows they're together. he doesn't really have to hard launch her. i mean, he most likely will. but we all saw the pics of them on nye. we know. colby and malia weren't caught kissing. i remember seeing ppl say "oh that might have just been some random girl he's friends with. they didn't kiss" so he kinda had to say something about her eventually.
also i think you and i have different ideas of what privacy means. bc privacy to me just means that ppl don't go digging for things that aren't readily available to be seen. or that maybe not every move he makes needs to be overanalyzed as some form of calculated move. or that maybe he should be allowed to post his gf without there being a bombardment of fans wishing death upon her bc of some dumb reason (obviously not saying you do any of that anon. just saying that the general audience might be doing this). privacy doesn't mean he posts nothing and says nothing. it just means don't cross lines that he clearly has drawn. or at least that's kinda how i see it.
but hey, if this is how you feel, that's alright. i just don't personally see it the way you do. i think it's too early to call whether or not what colby is doing is too much or not enough or whether they're gonna stay together for the long haul.
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ahoyimlosingmymind · 2 months
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You dislike Sophie? Any particular reason?
This is all my opinion, I'm not even concrete in it ngl, there's just lil things that irk me about her character. I also haven't read the books in a fatty minute, so maybe I'm just delulu. its also 2am so hehe
Similar to how I feel about Keefe, it really comes down to execution of her character for me. I don't have as in depth thoughts on her as I do about Keefe's character, but anyway-
I really really loved her in books 1-5. <- I just think this was the golden age for the books in general but I digress. She was very moral, sweet, and logical. She rushed into danger and questioned things, which landed her in hot crap sometimes. But there was always a REAL motive behind her desire to not listen to the authority figures. She was really relatable in the way she wasn't totally over-powered, still trying to find her footing in this new world etc
But then, at some point, I'm not really sure WHEN it happened, Shannon decided that every single one of her female characters needed to be a girl-boss. No exceptions. And this was when I noticed the shift in Sophie's character. She lost her distinction a bit imo. you could easily interchange any of her 'Girl power'-esque lines with any other girl in the series and I wouldn't blink. That's how little her 'confident character development' sticks out to me. Because it comes off as FORCED.
here's the thing. Sophie already was a girl boss character. It was obvious. From book 1, she was brave and selfless and moral and strong... I love her for that.
The issue is that the narrative became aware of it too. And started TELLING us instead of letting her actions speak for themselves.
This telling was greatly reinforced by characters like Ro who always has to comment on being bad ass. And like- Linh losing some of her original softness for the sake of being 'powerful' and I AM ALL FOR empowering stories and characters- but when they lose the original aspects of their personality for the sake of it?? That's not growth, it's erasure. Confidence and softness aren't mutually exclusive. And when Linh was first introduced, that was one of the shining aspects of her personality. But now, There's so little distinction between a lot of the girl characters now for this reason. They serve as a comment on society, they're vessels to embed a message into. And they lose their individualism within that. BC THE MESSAGE WAS ALREADY THERE. IT DIDN'T NEED TO BE EXPLICITLY STATED EVERY OTHER PAGE. *cough* sorry.
And sadly, Sophie's character got lost in the sauce with it for me. (And it does not help that the side cast of characters is so vast they kinda blend together as well)
What really got me though, was when she started making weird choices that felt like forced edginess. Like burning down the storehouse. She's done some crazy stuff in the past, but I was always on her side. but this time??? no.
THERE WAS VALUABLE STUFF IN THERE. That was pure shock value. Because wdym we've been scrambling for answers for the past several books, and when Sophie stumbles upon a storehouse stock full of Neverseen stuff she just... burns it to the ground?? Like wasn't Gisela's Arche-something in there?
Sophie had no issue letting Alvar go for some info in regards to Keefe, but then she get's his mom's book of plans and BURNS IT???
And I get her thought process behind it was "The Neverseen has taken everything from me, so I'm going to take something from them. I'm tired of always sitting back and just reacting and never being proactive." I GET THAT. But burning the storehouse was SO not the moment lmao. She's also traumatized and the Neverseen is very triggering for her obviously, which means she doesn't always have the clearest thoughts in regards to it. But BOI-
I might just be an asshole. Idek.
I made a previous post talking about how unfair she was to Fitz when they were dating. It's buried in my blog somewhere. But she was not a saint in that situation (neither was he.) but just like Keefe, the narrative doesn't hold her nearly as accountable as it does when it comes to basically everyone else.
I don't hate her at all, but yeah idek. I'm tired lol
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dissociatingdumbass · 2 months
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Hi! I'm so nervous to send this ask cuz I can't hide behind anon but I'ma be brave for 60 seconds and hopefully this doesn't come off rude& rambling (if so feel free to ignore all this, no pressure to reply!)
So, I was reading the tags of a post you reblogged (something about being 34 with an AO3 account being cringe or whatever) and you say you're 48? Like 48 years old? Or I'm misunderstanding? Either way my first thought was, I agree with the comment implying that 30+ adults are a large part of what keeps fandoms alive, and my second thought was holy crap! I didn't know I actually followed someone in fandom who is older than me. Maybe that's silly bc I follow soooo many people, there's no way we're all the same age, right, like duh but I just got really excited about it. It felt like an "ah ha!" moment, like the difference between knowing something like a fact you read in a book yrs ago and knowing something from living through it (if that makes sense 🫠) and I just wanted to say Hi! I'm glad you're here (you and all the older members of fandom, honestly) I'm relieved actually, and maybe that's weird and silly, too, but idk knowing you're here really helped me connect with reality a bit better. Sometimes I feel like everyone in fandom is like 19 and younger and i guess the craziness in the world & fandom combined has made me feel like I'm doing something very strange at my big age enjoying fandom where it seems like only teenagers are. This isn't shade at teenagers though, I was a teen in fandom at some point but I guess I unknowingly was convinced that after 20 these things are like kids toys and sure you can keep them but if you aren't an ~established adult~ you don't have time for fan things or at least should be quiet in those spaces bc it's like creepy otherwise??? Idk idk idk🫣 I'm rambling and this is too long, the point is Hi! If I'm misunderstanding your age, my apologies, honestly; still, this has been a much needed reality check for me and I'm so very glad you're here!! (Also you're blog is like super cool)
Hi!
I am indeed 48 years old!
I haven't been active in fandom for long because in my country (Portugal) Fandoms weren't a thing...
At least not that I was aware growing up.
I've always had my little stories in my head and I had two cousins with which I'd "trade off" daydreams and story ideas... But nothing more.
My actual contact with internet and social media was only after 2003. A whole 7 years after I was married.
By then I had already allowed my dreams to be smothered... By my ex... By society... By myself...
It took me getting a divorce in 2012 to get into Fandom as a way of escaping my own feelings of failure and inadequacy.
And you know who helped me find the courage to write?
My older son. 16 at the time...
Fandom is for everyone.
For the older generation that built it and love it.
For the younger generation being introduced to it, finding community in it, finding themselves in it...
I welcome everyone into this little corner of my world on Tumblr... I'll be here if you need me. I'll be just here, in the background when you don't.
But I'll be here.
And you know what? Don't be ashamed of loving what you love. There's no age in which you should give up on your dreams, passions and hobbies...
.... Not even your plushies and toys!
Live first and foremost for yourself. Find the joy in the little things and never allow others to shame you for your passions.
Don't let anyone kill the Childlike Wonder inside you.
I'm 48...
I write fanfic and I'm a mother.
I have a bedroom filled with Fandom stuff and I have a full time job.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I have multitudes inside my heart and soul. Just like you. Just like everyone out there.
Don't let anyone take that away from you... Ever.
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hungarianmudkip69 · 3 months
Text
actually im thinking abt it now so here's a post
Tips for Actually Fucking Getting Your ADHD Medication!!!!!
First of all, some notes:
a) I was diagnosed and started my medication when I was very small. So unfortunately I cannot offer advice about getting prescribed your medication! only getting the medication you are already prescribed. I literally don't remember a time before I was taking my meds.
b) I take specifically Concerta! While I think these should be applicable to other medications as well, that's something I felt like I should be upfront with.
c) I live in the US. I don't actually know how much of this would apply to other countries. Maybe some of it? But this is specifically about the US healthcare system.
This is going to be a bit long bc I am, of course, ADHD, so I'll put it under a cut.
This post will cover two scenarios: My Medication Is Usually Covered, But This Time It's Not/Costs More Than Usual and The Pharmacy Is Out Of My Fucking Medication!!!!
I would appreciate reblogs even if you aren't ADHD to get this info to people who need it, especially with another shortage seemingly starting!
I've got a couple different situations to cover, starting with:
My Medication Is Usually Covered, But The Pharmacy Says This Time It's Not/Costs Way More Than Usual
ok this is going to be so so hard but this is what you're going to have to do:
Call your health insurance.
Every time this has happened to me, it hasn't actually not been covered, it was the pharmacy fucking something up while checking coverage.
When you get through to a rep, you're going to say this:
"Hi, my name is [name.] I was trying to get my ADHD medication from my pharmacy, but they said it's not covered, which is weird because my prescription hasn't changed and it's been covered before. I'd like to know what's going on."
If you're upset, don't feel bad about not being able to hide it. Gotta be honest, I've gotten the quickest help when I started crying on the phone...
What usually happens with my medication is that it's made by multiple manufacturers, and the insurance only covers some of them. If the pharmacy only checked one manufacturer and it wasn't covered, sometimes they don't bother to check others, and tell me that my meds aren't covered.
Even if it's not that, it is far more likely that your pharmacy fucked up than that your insurance coverage changed. I once got quoted ALMOST SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS for 30 days of my medication. It turned out to be a pharmacy error.
Health insurance companies may be out to fuck you over, but the people at the customer service phones are there to help you. Let them help you get your meds covered if the pharmacy won't. I once had an incredible rep who even called the pharmacy herself to make sure they ran my meds properly and started filling them while I was still on the call. Let them help you! They want to!
The Pharmacy Is Out Of My Fucking Medication!!!!
This is the problem that I was having at the end of last year which was fucking hell for me to deal with.
Some useful background for this section:
There are multiple different ratings of generics for a drug. For my explanation, we'll use Concerta. This explanation may not be entirely accurate as I am not trained in this stuff! But it is what my dad learned and explained to me while we were navigating the shortage.
Concerta is extended-release methylphenidate, but the unique thing about it is the release mechanism. It has a little hole in the end and a tiny sponge in it. Over time the sponge absorbs stomach acid and expands, pushing the medication out at a consistent rate.
There is a generic with this same sponge release mechanism! It is what is called an "AB rated" generic for Concerta because it is proven to have the exact same therapeutic effects as brand name Concerta. Insurance covers AB generics! Yay!
Extended release Ritalin is the same drug and the same dosage, but it simply dissolves in your stomach over time so it doesn't release as consistently as Concerta. It is a "Bx rated" generic. At least in my experience, insurance will not cover this without a special exemption from your doctor. This is usually a good thing, because it means your pharmacy can't just give you a Bx instead of an AB without your knowledge. During a shortage? Not so much.
So you have been informed by your pharmacy that they do not have the generic covered by your insurance. Here is what you're going to do.
1) Freak out a little bit. This is normal. Medication is important and you're not getting it. Let yourself work through it, then calm down because there Are Things You Can Do!!! Take your phone with you when you lie on the ground and cry, that way once you're done you don't have to get up to work on solving it. Getting up is hard.
2) Call your pharmacy and other pharmacies in the area. You want to find out a few things:
2.1) Do other pharmacies in the area have the generic your insurance covers? If so, you can call your doctor and ask them to send your prescription to that pharmacy instead.
2.2) What potential alternatives do they have? Ask if they have the brand name in stock (during the height of the shortage, both pharmacies my family used almost always had the brand name but not the AB generic) and if they have other generics your insurance doesn't cover. Take notes!
2.3) "Do you know what the process would be for getting one of those alternatives covered?" They may not, or they may tell you exactly what you need to do.
3) Call your insurance. Explain your situation to them, and ask them about ways to get your medication covered. I take 72mg total, and when the shortage started I was taking one each of 54mg and 18mg generic pills - by talking to the insurance, I found out that I could switch to two 36mg brand name pills without paying any more. However, this didn't help for my parents or for the times the pharmacy was out of the brand name as well. So here's the more important part: There are ways for you to get your doctor to apply to get them prescribing you an alternate generic approved. The insurance rep can describe this process to you. Take notes to get ready for the next step:
4) Call your doctor's office. Explain your situation, again, and explain that you called the insurance and they told you you need the doctor to do this thing. Ask when you can expect it to go through. Explain how you've been without your meds and it's awful and please you understand that there might not be anything they can do but anything they can do to fast track it would be incredible. Be polite, but don't be afraid to expose how badly you need this. I find it helps. Just be honest.
5) Treat yourself. This is stressful and it's a lot of phone calls, which are hard, especially if you don't have your meds. Give yourself a little treat and it will help your reward-motivated ADHD brain feel better about having to do that shit. Legitimately, my therapist told me to give myself a little treat every time I call the doctor. It's an important step.
6) Follow up. If it's past when you were supposed to get news or have your meds, call and ask for an update. Don't be afraid to be proactive in finding out the exact status of your meds. Just be polite and kind and phone reps are generally happy to help.
I genuinely hope you never need this advice. I also hope that if you do, it helps. These are just my personal experiences, so please also feel free to add any of your own tips to this post.
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againtodreaming · 8 months
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Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)
@lyloneliness you send the first ask but also @mavr4xx @vinylbiohazard @ghostsinacoat @yumaisbored you also asked this too and omg i love u all but also, why do you do this to me 😭😭😭 i was already struggling a lot to think of 5 things with the first ask (and i still haven't even gotten to the tag game of this), and now I have to think of TWENTY-FIVE?!? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ (plus 5 more if I end up finding the tag game again plus the ability to think of 5 more...)
Anyways, thank you so much for the asks (´,,•ω•,,)♡ ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊♡ (even if they are the hardest asks I have done in my life 💀) (it was interesting and fun tho 🌟) you are all awesome 💖🌟💞 now here we go:
(25 things here in the same post bc…not sure I just started doing it after @ all of u and I am doing this draft in my phone and separating this in the other asks i still have to look for is too much work) (apologies for the length, the further i got, the longer some of the answers became😅)
1 - My hair (used to be really thick and my mom used to make this amazing hairstyles almost every day when I was a kid—there was one that was a huge rose made of braids or smth, the hairpins were awful and it took so long but it was so pretty, I think my mom even made it for the wedding of one of her friends, anyways I lost maybe more than half of my hair when I was like 15, stress probably, and then I decided to cut it even below the shoulder—first time in my life it was so short—bc I was so mad with it but also bc I had zero energy to even try to take care of it by that point. Grown back until like my mid-back—used to have it like waist length before—by now and now I got maybe a little more than half of the hair that I used to have at 13 which is a lot better than it was at 15 and hopefully it gets back to what I used to have in a couple of years more, but for now it's enough to start playing with it and doing braids)
2 - Open-mindedness
3 - Creativity
4 - Patience
5 - That I'm an older sister
6 - Uf, how do I explain this one—like, empathy? kindness? feeling things deeply? putting yourself in the other person's shoes and being considerate of that? being too sentimental? which can be really annoying too but I wouldn't trade it so...
7 - That I can talk really fast
8 - Being expressive
9 - Always thinking things through
10 - Confident in my likes? (okay, so this one feels complicated, but for example, when I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old probably, I loved superheroes, but my classmates in my all-girls school were like, that's for boys 😒, and I felt horrible bc that was just another thing in that i didnt fit in with everyone else and i always wanted to fit in, but somehow—which looking back feels weird bc who even knew i could be surprisingly confident in some aspects—was that i never thought i was in the wrong for liking superheroes? Like, yeah, I always wanted to fit in and I felt bad that I didn't, but even with all the social insecurity I was constantly plagued with, I never felt like I was in the wrong for being myself or that I should change myself or pretend to like stuff I didn't just to fit in (that strategy didn't even cross my mind until I was…can't be sure, it was somewhere in the last few years in this country, it was either a documentary, fiction, or the group therapy, but the idea of actual people in real life doing smth they didn't agree and had no purpose except to fit in was like: 🤯!?!!?!?!) (I didn't handle it that well either to be fair, if I wasn't with my friends i just decide to hide during recess and/or to not speak at all with anyone, until I changed schools) (I liked the 2nd school better). I assume that in my head I was like: "shame that I'm not like all of you but what can you do, I'm me ╮(╥﹏╥)╭ "
11 - I'm usually also all or nothing with almost all things? Like, for example, math. I don't like math, it has always been the class I struggled with the most and all my math teachers in Peru were really strict and thank goodness that my dad loves math and really good at it or I would have been lost without someone to explain it to me. But last week, my parents got an email from my math teacher who was telling them how proud she was of me and how I always strove to understand everything and there was some implication that I did it bc I liked what I was learning, which like, I mean, I like geometry a lot more than algebra bc it's simpler, and I don't exactly hate it, but I certainly wouldn't do it for pleasure. At all. And yeah, I ask her about everything I don't understand (she insisted to the whole class to please ask her anything if we needed help, so i had permission; if she wasn't available tho, I just would have asked my dad or a friend who is good at math to explain it to me) and ask her to show me exactly what I did wrong and what would be the correct answer but all of that is bc well, if I'm going to do well in the class, I need to understand what I did wrong in order to fix it, and like, math classes always build on each other, so if I don't smth I will later have problems with it, and also like, I'm already stuck with the class whether I like it or not, if I'm going to do smth, I'm going to do it well. Which is smth my mom has complained a lot of times, especially during last school year when I had a lot of late assignments bc I was too anxious about doing any of them bc I was afraid of doing it wrong or bc I didn't have the energy to think clearly so I wouldn't be able to do my best so like yeah…I ended up not doing the assignments at all (this is the part that I hate about this all or nothing thing with me, but let's focus on the positive side right now). Or with projects, I once stayed awake until like 5 am like several nights straight to do a project for economics class which like…I decided to make my own illustrations for each slide of the ppt to illustrate the information on top of doing the reading and answering the questions stuff…and I was already in a hurry with it bc I didn't know the school put assigned summer readings in the school's website (it was my first year in this country and nobody had said anything about it the year prior, plus it was quarantine time) and the teacher gave me a few extra days bc I still needed to hurry up in reading the book so yeah, I should have done smth more simple and fast to just submit it and get a grade but it wouldn't have been doing my best, not even near my best and I was already compromising on some stuff to not take too long since there wasn't too much time for my initial ideas so…yep. The teacher loved my project tho (and gave me a 100 even tho it was one day late) and asked if she could use it for her class of next year soooo…totally worth it. But yeah, i was sort of confused that Geometry teacher thought to send an email like that when I have only been trying to understand the concepts I am assigned to learn?
Thinking, thinking, thinking….you know what, I want to put my height in here just annoy my sister (she would be all dramatic annoying fake pitying dramatic gasp about it and would drag the younger ones to her side of the argument) but she wouldn't even see it plus I don't actually care about heights (I just care that she's annoying about it almost daily) so that would also be a lie so another thing….you know what, i already got 11 in one morning, coming back to this later
12 - Okay, so I hate all my health problems, absolutely hate them, so annoying and expensive and restricting and confusing BUT—how do I word this…it has 2 parts…umm…okay, so I'm really familiar with the clinic in Peru I used to go all the time and, okay I hated having to go to the clinic so many times, especially towards the end, but I liked being familiar with it? Like, the people, the sense of a community, the building, the routine. It was probably more familiar than my schools since I changed schools a few times while the clinic was there ALWAYS (until we moved countries and I never expected to miss the fucking clinic but it happened which wtf but also makes sense which also omg mila (ノ◇≦。) but also, the medical system was definitely easier and less expensive than whatever the fuck they have going on here, plus not having all our usual doctors, so there is also a practical reason aside from me unreasonably missing everything that was familiar including things I didn't even like much). That's the first part. Second part is that it has brought…lessons ig. Like, idk, it's been a huge formative part of my life. About health and food and family stuff and experiences. Like, I hate having the health problems (they are A LOT better now than when I was younger as long I do some things to keep it that way, but yeah, really grateful for that) but also, I don't really know who I would be without those experiences? Changed the whole family too so like…idk, it's weird but felt worth mentioning.
13 - That I'm really curious and like learning.
14 - Sense of style
15 - Loyalty—to people (like, even swallowed down all my shyness and anxiety to try to reconnect with some childhood friends I hadn't talked in forever bc moving countries and depression thing) (going well, really happy that we are talking again) but also like to interests and values ig? Like, most of my likes (superheroes, anime, drawing, maybe writing but not sure about that one, all started before I even turned 8 y/o) and like, aside from maturing and a couple of things, I don't think I've changed much at all. I have never stopped liking smth I used to like anyways.
16 - Openness ig? Like, I never want to be a bother so it depends on the person and the history i have with them and sometimes on the occasion, but I never really had any problems asking for help or speaking about my problems or feelings
17 - My handwriting when it's not written in a hurry
18 - My attention to detail
19 - Not getting mad easily—which is you know good with being an older sister too bc like...my dad is really annoying (but like jokingly annoying) and a lot of times bc of it (or some other times other family members) my sister and my mom get mad about some small comment they take seriously and then they get angry and leave the table or living room or whatever and then it's like all awkward bc the mood got broken (which also, a little hypocritical especially bc the sister also loves to be annoying in purpose with everyone of us) but unlike them, the middle sister and me like...we don't really care much about it? We are usually the ones that get more teased by the others but it's like, smth one therapist didn't understand, which was so annoying wtf did setting boundaries had to do with my siblings being annoying, I don't care that they are annoying bc it's like, we usually get along well (presently; there used to be constant fighting between 2 of them we were little but they are better now) and they have always been annoying but it's like, a game, I know they are not serious about the matter. I can be annoying back if I feel like it and it's all in good fun. The only times I don't like it it's when it's actually serious, with you know, intention to hurt or being passively aggressive mad about smth, stuff like that. Point is that yeah, it's also good for sibling diplomacy bc I'm rarely the one getting mad with the other ones.
20 - That I like dogs
…I can't think of 5 more. Uf, let's see…okay, getting desperate here but—
21 - That I'm Peruvian
22 - Good at cooking
23 - Good at planning
24 - My self-awareness
25 - That I like to be more positive and hopeful about things in general I think? (myself is usually an exception) Constant argument with my sister bc she can be so pessimistic sometimes. Like, life is already hard enough as it is, having fun and connecting with people makes things more enjoyable, so why not try to focus on the bright side whenever possible and make things better. She thinks I'm naive, I know I can be naive, but also, if I have to live I'm going to enjoy it bc what's the point otherwise. Generalizing things doesn't help. I think.
OKAY!! DONE!! 25 THINGS!!! FINALLY 😭💖
Thank you again and I hope you are all doing well <33
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aranarumei · 3 months
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OH ALSO gajevy fairy tail :3
ask me about a ship and I’ll give my opinions + classify them as does / doesn’t make sense, does / doesn’t compel me
heyyy sunnfish I picked this one to answer first bc I thought it’d be the shorter answer and then it got a little bit long so let’s put this guy under the cut
gajevy’s really interesting to me out of the Big 4 (nalu, gajevy, gruvia, jerza) because I think that without a doubt, they’ve fared the best canon-wise? but out of the big 4, they’re also the ship I’ve always been least invested in, so I’m gonna say: makes sense, doesn’t compel me.
feel like I can hear some ghost screaming at me like. how the hell were u more invested in gruvia. I will get to that. nalu I’m still invested in… it’s the kind of thing where lucy and natsu just have to be best friends for me. I like other ships with natsu and lucy just fine, so long as it doesn’t demean their relationship. because I truly believe in how dear those two are to each other. for me, as fairy tail progresses, I think the characters in general… got a little worse, haha. so natsu got dumbed down a lot, and a lot of the nalu moments weren’t less genuine sincerity and more jokes or bad fanservice. I also felt like lucy as a character kind of got fumbled with the star dresses… they certainly could have worked but I just feel like it made her fights less interesting? with gray and juvia, I was obsessed with juvia as a kid, and still am… I genuinely think that the gray & juvia is really interesting in the beginning, where juvia’s this gloomy, kinda shy, kinda creepy, kinda sweet stalker. what really worked for me there was that there wasn’t a huge push for gray to be actually receptive to any of juvia’s feelings, and the first big moments juvia had were like… her friendship with lucy and that first unison raid, as well as that moment in the battle of fairy tail where she sacrifices herself for cana. I think those two moments really demonstrate juvia in her best moments… maybe she’s a little standoffish, but she just wants friends, and her love for others is evident. so I feel like something interesting could have happened with her and gray if we got these moments of her making friends and then having a real, proper transition of their relationship from blind adoration to actual friends. gray gets to realize that juvia’s weird as hell but deeply kind and actually considerate of his feelings, and juvia gets to see gray as more of a person than someone she’s mostly watching from afar. Instead, juvia’s possessiveness gets turned up to a point where it’s grating, and it feels like gray gets bullied into liking her by the plot. not great for either of them! my personal gruvia ending has them becoming like. good friends that are just a little extra-protective of each other because of the things they’ve been through. and for jellal and erza we’ve talked about this one. insanely good setup and execution, probably the one I wanted canonicity for most, and then post-timeskip I think it sucks.
and then there’s gajeel and levy! I think this works remarkably well in canon. having him be properly repentant and making it up to levy in particular does a lot in terms of integrating him into the guild. gajeel’s just one of the most solid characters in fairy tail I think. really fun guy to watch. they’re also the only ship out of the big four who really achieved canon status I think. Part of my non-investment in them does stem from that, because it’s like… well, canon treated them well enough so I’m not making giant sermons on what could have been, because I never got to a part where I was like. you know what? this SUCKS and I could do better. but what I really don’t like about canon is that I think the relationship ended up doing a real disservice to levy’s character. rather than be her own person, she ends up as just adjacent to gajeel… which is a real shame! solid script is so interesting, and she’s a good support character, so I don’t like it when she gets cast into the role of like. just the girl gajeel likes. so I actually like gajevy fic a lot when it treats them like yknow, actual people. I think my opinions on gajevy are just not too strong, which is why they don’t really compel me compel me. I want to see more of team shadowgear working as a unit, and like, gajeel and levy having interactions that don’t just sum up to gajeel protecting her and levy maybe trying to help him out. Oh man you know what was really good actually. fairy tail gaiden: rhodonite is this little spinoff bit that was written by a different author, but it’s really really good. I am obsessed with that version of gajeel and levy. actually that series is so good in general. some of my favorite members of the fairy tail ensemble. juvia’s here so we get like. gajeel-juvia friendship crumbs which I lost my mind about.
so basically my thoughts are like. I probably wouldn’t write gajevy personally as anything but lightly existing in the background in a nice way, but if it’s written well I’m so on board
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according2thelore · 2 months
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1, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 13, and 15 for "He Lives For Me, Says He Lives For Me"
Sorry for sending yet another ask lol, I'm just so curious about the creation of this fic. It's so good and is such an interesting concept/version of events that I want to know what went on in your yalls brains while making this!
hihihi!
EEK! i'm SO excited you asked about this one! this one is one of the fics i'm proudest of (+ some of my favourite charlotte art!), but it didn't get as much traction as my other fics. so i am so excited to yap about it now!!!
1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
one of my favourite samdean AUs is normallife!AU because yeah!! they are really weird like that! "weird about each other" means weird about each other in EVERY TIMELINE BABEY! it's also fun to see their dysfunction in an average environment, and how people react to two brothers who are Just Like That.
5: What part was hardest to write?
the hardest part to write was definitely the resolution post-meltdown. for sam and dean normally, they take incest pretty hard, lol. so to get these two brothers that have not lived at the fringes of "normative" society and resolve their emotions in a satisfying way was difficult. the blow-up (post-blowjob, haha) was pretty easy to write, but i had a hard time making the resolution of the story feel emotionally satisfying. because they had to dust themselves off and walk home after something completely life-shattering.
they deal with most things with a kind of bitter humour in the show, so i chose a dash of that with more emotional transparency, because they haven't been raised as rough/life-or-death as show sam and dean.
6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
i think the AU is the most different part about it! and while they're both teenagers, it's also my only underage fic (as of this moment) so i knew that would automatically disqualify it for a lot of folks, which i can understand. it operates pretty differently from my other samdean fics, because they aren't supposed to behave 1:1 like they would in the show, as their entire environment is different.
7: Where did the title come from?
the title came from "semi-charmed life" by third eye blind, which was released earlier in the year that the party takes place (February vs October '97). so conceivably, and given the subject matter of the song (a drug bender), it would be played at a high school party that year! i did a STUPID amount of song research for this fic, and i will revisit all of that in #13!
i chose it specifically because it talks about being obsessed with someone when you're young--in a predominantly physical, but also emotional, way. this lyric was VERY much codependent and obsessed, which i thought was pretty spot-on for sam and dean. i thought it was fitting!
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
no, actually! this didn't change much from the conception to the finished product. for the october challenge, i actually plotted this one first because i was so excited about it. (i even wrote the blowjob scene first in my notes app bc a few lines of dialogue stuck in my head and i wanted to write them down before i could forget.) it was intended to be a little more light-hearted than it ended up being, but there's not really a way to write two brothers in a completely normal social situation deciding to commit incest and deal with it normally afterwards, lmao.
11: What do you like best about this fic?
i was most happy with their dynamic in this fic. it was challenging to write an AU!sam&dean and keep their obsession with each other in a way that felt natural, but i thought their background was fun! i think dean would develop sam-centric if he had even an ounce of the hero worship/responsibility that he gets in the show. i liked their family dynamic/history and their own dynamic/history in this fic! i enjoyed writing that the most, as well as the lead-up to the kiss. it's frantic and it's devoted and it's messy! overall: the emotion of this fic. i think i did a good job!
i also think it has a pretty decent blowjob scene? i LOVE either boy in lingerie, so i hope i did them justice!
13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
okay! this fic is very song-heavy, and i did a bit of research on songs that came out in the past 1-3 years before '97, because those songs would be the most popular at a high school party. so here are a few that i listened to or are mentioned in the fic:
around the world by daft punk
semi-charmed life by third eye blind
a significant portion of nimrod by green day, specifically worry rock (bc sam is a little alternative, and this song is VERY MUCH canon!samdean) (i even looked up the day of the week the album came out to make sure dean could take him on a school day)
tha crossroads by bone thugs-n-harmony (bc haha)
the monster mash by bobby "boris" pickett and the crypt-kickers & calling all the monsters by china anne mcclain (bc halloween, the latter of course being a more recent song and not in the fic)
wannabe by the spice girls
mmmbop by hanson
pony by genuwine (which was BIG summer '97)
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?
besides the billboard top-100 of '96-'97, i learned i need to work on interim action! i found myself really speeding through the party because i wanted dean in his eyeliner and skirt to walk in, and it felt very lop-sided and rushed while i was trying to establish characters/events at this party. i need to get better at pacing! i also learned i was way more into the way noise is muffled under a skirt/how emotionally intimate&vulnerable it is if you're under there than i thought. huh! i also really want to see sam with smeared lipstick. new things all over!
(send me one of my fics and i'll answer some questions!)
thank you for sending this one!!!!!! it's one of my faves for absolute sure. please send as many asks as you'd like! i always smile when i see you in our inbox! :)
-lizzy
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kbgw1234 · 11 months
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Went to the bughunter and the narcissist cookbook in Columbus and hands down it was my favorite show I’ve ever been to, and it was a great first concert to go to by my self
I’m 4’10” so standing shows are usually hell, I either get their early enough to get first row and then have to have the balls to keep it for the entire show or I have to make my own fun in the back of the room
Thankfully I got dead center front row, no one had a better view than me, I knew going into it that I would have access to the bar for water but I was fine with that as long as it didn’t get to hot
Oh dear god did this not go according to plan
So bughunter comes on and he plays and I fucking love every song, even though admittedly I’d only heard them once or twice, but once he starts playing it’s like I magically know the words like I’ve heard it a million times before, they feel like home in a weird way.
But then he stops playing, and I can feel the heat start to get me, I now in the safety of my home can say there were a couple of times in show I felt a little woozy. Which explains my behavior when this random fucking guy noticed I’d been staring at him for a while, well not him but their water, I jokingly tell them this, and with out a thought they offer me a sip, assuring me there was only water and lime in it. And let me tell you that sip was the best water I’ve ever had, better than any 2 am glass, better than fresh ice on a hike. Was it a bad idea to drink from a strangers cup? Yes absolutely. Would I do it again? No probably not. Do I have any regrets? No because this was the thing that made me realize how badly I needed water, but again I can’t lose my spot, so my dehydrated brain comes up with a plan, ask this random guy to hold my spot so I can run out while the crowd is not so packed,slam some water and run back, for some reason trusting people to adhere to the dibs rule
The first part goes off with out a hitch, I run drink some delicious water in cups way to small(for what the place lacked in air conditioning it attempted to make up for it with serve yourself water) and right as I’m heading up for my third cup, the wheels fall off the plan
Because I forgot time was a thing. I forgot that when this tour says 10-15 they mean 10-15. And suddenly the narcissist cookbook, the band that dragged me through my post birthday depression and my finals season anxiety, is playing good morning sunshine, a song I’ve had to stop playing bc I was driving a car and driving and crying is a bad mix.
In an instant the crowd smooshes back into its usual solid form and I’m all the way in the back. I’m debating just making my own fun in the back but no, I need to get back up there. I’m going to do it. At this point I hadn’t even pushed through the membrane of 6’3” guys who line the crowd, to but my height into perspective, I was actually actually scared of getting hit with an elbow to the face on accident so to avoid injury I had to move quick. I spend good morning sunshine behind this wall, always looking for an opening, and then as he’s getting ready for my ass is a dump truck I see it, a couple leaves the row ahead and I go for it. Pushing past people a head of me to get to that bubble. I can now see the guy who’s holding my spot and some of the band
Eventually the band stops to tune a bit and water guy turns around and sees me and pulls me forward, giving me my dead center spot back which is where I spend the rest of the night
I scream sing every song I know and love the ones I don’t
About half way through the set they play their nightly cover which ironically is “let it go” and I swear to god it actually got colder in the room
Anyway that night was awesome, no regrets and I’d do it again in a heart beat
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lascapigliata · 4 months
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am now well over halfway through my oscars challenge based on my own secret formula (aka guesstimating) so here is my ongoing microreviews post, for those curious
for some reason when i started writing i did this in order of # of nominees. don’t ask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
oppenheimer: way too long. even cillian murphy, who was great, cannot sustain 3 hours of biopic. i felt his character development was unearned and rushed. the acting was good all around (though it was so man heavy that i sort of forgot emily blunt was there, surprising that she got that nomination when may december is RIGHT there) and it was gorgeously shot but it just needed a solid edit both in writing and runtime. one of those movies that made me feel stupid bc everyone else liked it. to the tune of 13 noms :/ (i have been told by many that you need to see it in a theater. well then don't release it for home viewing i guess, sorry!) (edit - having watched maestro rustin and napoleon 👎 three mid to bad biopics - this has warmed in my memory)
poor things: mixed feelings. overhyped doesn’t cover it. beautiful to look at. great acting from everyone including emma stone and mark ruffalo who is having simply the time of his life. it’s very funny which i wasn’t expecting! but it felt all a little too affected, a little too Intentionally Weird. idk i really wanted to love it but it was just sort of like okay! watched that! ✅
killers of the flower moon: enjoyed it a lot. i thought lily gladstone was amaaaaazing - their role had potential to just be like melodrama and one-note but they brought so much depth to it. leonardo was fine but of the white people deniro was the standout. too long of course. i alternately remember it as better or worse than it felt in the moment, but even though i wasn't in a theater it was still a good time
barbie: my brother loved this and i thought it was okay. the first half in barbieland and her first fish out of water scenes in the real world were a ton of fun, and it sort of got boring-er from there. visually very clever and fun. but the politics were hollow. relationship between america ferrera’s character and her daughter was unconvincing. the last scene pissed me off so much bc it was just totally unnecessary- should have (spoiler) ended with her putting her heels down and the audience can infer the rest be saved 5 minutes of runtime. (you’ll be shocked to hear i thought this was too long)
maestro: awful. manages to flatten felicia bernstein and somehow doesn’t replace that missing character with anything of substance. neglects to focus on what made bernstein actually interesting by putting basic stock biopic oscar bait scenes together and forgetting about his actual life and accomplishments. i went in knowing i wouldn’t like it but hoping there’d be redeeming qualities and found nearly none. even the best scene - his conducting the mahler resurrection symphony - pales in comparison to just finding the real video of bernstein conducting which is available for free on youtube.
american fiction: great. in theaters so no concept of length but it didn’t drag too much. jeffrey wright did an AMAZING job - so funny and also so grounded. made me cry early on too which i was Not expecting lol. definitely some 😬 moments for me as a white woman but i think that’s healthy for us once in a while. as a side note it was oddly preceded by 15 min of horror movie trailers which was bizarre
anatomy of a fall: LOOVED IT. broadchurch vibes. watched it with a friend who’s a lawyer so we kept pausing to theorize bc it is a great movie for that and she also provided commentary on the courtroom techniques of the lawyers lol. was also thinking about it hours and hours later. such a good film. even understood some of the french lol. big warning for pet illness though - the dog survives but it was not fun
the holdovers: nothing revolutionary but such a sweet little movie. not a huge amount to say about it - watched it on a plane and that was kind of the perfect vibe. i did think that da’vine joy randolph did a fantastic job. a good time. idk that it’s Best Picture worthy but who even knows what that award means
the zone of interest: technically impressive on every level (yes, including sound, which it should win) but i didn’t love it. i guess it’s just that i feel like “look! the mundanity of evil!” was not enough to carry this - it is SO mundane and SO jarring that halfway through i kept just being like “yeah yeah i get it” which itself is ironically kind of normalization but not the way the film intended. but i do think this is more a personal preference issue than actual issues with the movie.
napoleon: quite bad. boring, unfocused. couldn’t decide if it was about the marriage or his ambition and yet didn’t give josephine a character nor made thrilling battle sequences. unfortunately all i will remember is how they randomly used pride and prejudice’s soundtrack out of the blue (indicative of its equally unfocused score), and how joaquin phoenix had an american accent while everyone around him didn’t. also… too long!
the creator: pretty good! not a particularly innovative story but honestly it’s nice to see a good movie done right. hans zimmer rare W these days. john david washington still isn’t the greatest actor but it’s no big when ken watanabe is right there. the vfx are indeed very good. it even tackled western imperialism ok i thought though i obviously welcome discussion here!
past lives: beautiful touching etc. not an easy watch but i loved it. sort of found a great melancholy middle ground that didn’t feel maudlin but certainly wasn’t very happy. unbelievably that greta lee received no nomination for her phenomenal work (or teo yoo or john magaro for that matter). great length too - a perfect 1h45. just well done all around
society of the snow: great little disaster movie if slightly uneven. gorgeously shot for one thing. the tension is well done though i think it ended too… tidily. the fundamental problem i have tho is that if i was in their situation i’d have no qualms about eating people but that’s not the movie’s fault. the music reminded me of giacchino so i couldn’t help but make lost comparisons but that's also not the movie's fault lol. (edit: the music is literally BY giacchino and i thought i'd looked it up. it's a good score! he knows what he's doing!)
may december: LOVED IT!!! fantastic length, fantastic acting. as the great harry styles said it’s nice to see a movie that’s a real movie. i can’t wait to watch this again, i thought the writing was fantastic and it’ll gain a lot on rewatch too. would have loved more focus on the relationship with the kids, but that’s just because i personally found it fascinating. annoying it was only nommed for best screenplay when the acting was so good - yes especially charles melton!!
rustin: not as good as i wanted it to be. all the acting is fantastic especially (unsurprising) colman domingo, but i agree with reviews that said it avoided some of his more radical politics and that the love triangle was not super well executed, and i personally thought the end felt super rushed. it was just too biopic-y. but there was a lot to recommend it anyway just on acting alone though honestly
the color purple: enjoyed it a lot! never saw the original movie but it def smoothed away some stuff from the book in a way that doesn’t surprise me at all but was still too bad. there were clearly songs cut from the show bc there was a huge chunk in the middle with no singing lol. the acting was universally good but i cannot lie danielle brooks stole the show every second she was on screen. the music itself was great too and i think the director really dug into the musicalness of it which is so necessary in something like this. (end credits were particularly good!)
across the spiderverse: what is there to say about this that hasn’t been said. the first movie was much tighter in terms of plot / writing. the politics of this one were sort of a mess. but the animation was so spectacular that it sort of sanded over the flaws i saw in it in my memory and i'd be happy if it won
the boy and the heron: a lovely movie. miyazaki hasn’t lost it. i’d love for this to win best animated as i suspect it will. beautiful visually, very like pan’s labyrinth vibe plot wise. hard to say a lot here bc it was just very good, very solid. + miyazaki simply loves an old wrinkly lady and you know what i think that’s great. deserved a nom for score over fuckin indiana jones for sure
robot dreams: i wanted to adore this but instead i just liked it. it was beautiful and sweet and a nice love letter to new york and everything but i hated the ending lol. it’s a huge swing though with no dialogue and only one real song and you gotta give them points for that! plus it is genuinely sweet and everything. i just was pissed at the literal last scene lol
elemental: better than i expected it to be but still basically eh. some of the technical work is SO impressive - like the non-anthropomorphic water - that it actually highlights how Animated the characters are. but i don’t regret watching. highly recommend doing so stoned if that’s your jam because the animation really is the cool part - pixar’s stories have rly become very templated and boring
nimona: iirc a fun movie, but nothing like jaw dropping. can't evaluate it objectively though bc it wasn't the book and the book was better, unsurprisingly. i watched it a long time ago, it didn't leave a huge impression; i remember it was a cute adaptation. mainly i don't think nimona surpassed suzume (and pixar was always going to get that nomination no matter what), so mostly i'm bitter that suzume wasn't nominated sorry
dial of destiny: fell asleep the first time i watched it, got distracted the second time. it was... fine? the deaging was AWFUL, i'm glad it did not get a makeup or vfx nom, it literally just looked like a videogame and it still SOUNDED like 70yo harrison ford. the score was fine but the same thing john williams has been doing for this franchise since 1981. just like… an unnecessary movie idk
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c0rpseductor · 5 months
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earlier i was watching revenge of the sith and ended up having like. not a flashback but getting triggered heavily bc of the scene where anakin chokes padmé. for fairly obvious reasons, since i have trauma around choking and it triggers me like, whether written or on tv or whatever. i felt really embarrassed bc revenge of the sith is at many points Deeply Unserious (i actually laughed myself sick at palpatine zapping mace windu), but i managed to calm down a little and am kind of like. recuperating. i’m incredibly exhausted, though, physically and emotionally, because like, ptsd is exhausting bro idk what to say. it’s bad seeing something that makes you relive a violent experience like that.
i also now get to be really pissed, which is the reason i’m making this post 🥰 I was on twitter (probably my first mistake) and saw someone complaining about how people are Weird Kinkshaming Puritans who object to certain fic and then they went on to say “NORMAL people don’t get triggered by FICTION. You need to be able to tell the difference between REAL AND FAKE.” not even fucking “it’s bad to criticize someone for writing something solely bc it had a trigger of yours in it” but just straight up “people with ptsd are morons who cannot tell fiction from reality.” Like shut your fucking big mouth you dipshit im not fucking stupid. I know fucking star wars characters are not real. that’s not how triggers fucking work!!! it just reminded me of the VERY REAL time i was violently assaulted!!! Jesus none of these fucking AO3 fandom moms have any goddamn human compassion
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