#what’s sad though is that the Instagram art account mentality is already so normalized and so in-line with how companies/corporations like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mbti-notes · 2 years

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Anon wrote: Heya just wanted some advice here. I'm a 19 yr old INTJ with depression (have been for 5-6 yrs now). Just wanted to know how to get out of this rut I'm in. Idk if it's a loop or what, I just know I'm depressed and it has definitely worsened since 2020. I don't take any medication and no therapy, although I know I should. When I'm financially stable, I'm planning to.

Anyways, I've been disqualified from college bc of my very low grades and have the option to appeal to be reinstated (and even then, if i do apply for a reappeal, there's a chance they could reject me anyway). In all honesty, I don't want to. I can't be bothered to care for school anymore. I guess most people would be horrified to have such failing grades, but I have no emotions towards it. It's just "oh well" for me. I didn't really want to go in the first place anyway, but my older sister suggested for me to try and I did...which ended up being a waste of time for me and I regret it. I guess it's good I only went for 1 yr lol. Maybe I should have waited or maybe I'm just not a college type at all. I've always disliked school anyways. I managed my depression well back then since i was a good student, straight A's and all, but now I've just completely stopped caring.

I will have to tell my family, but I don't want to tell them about my depression and all that...I haven't told anyone else about my mental issues besides my closest friends and even then, I hardly open up to them about my issues in general (honestly even now i am hesitant abt typing all this despite being anon lol...). My family has never forced me to do anything and give me a lot of freedom actually, so I think they will understand. Even though I often dislike them at times, I do appreciate that they don't force me into anything... I guess I just fear being open about my mental illness. I'm hoping it will be enough to say I just don't have the motivation and focus for school anymore without having to go any deeper. I know I can't just stay home though, staying home drives me crazy and honestly worsens my depression. I do try to keep myself busy at home with chores and babysitting my nephew. But that's still not good enough...I can't drive yet so can't go out and get a job, although I do want to. My best bet is working from home

I am very interested in art and have an art account, although not a lot of followers , but I could try opening commissions up. My lack of followers is my fault lol. I don't upload very often, but I do know my art is good (not in an arrogant way; I definitely know i still have A LOT to learn and I always try to improve my skills) and I know a few people will commission me. I just need a consistent schedule and energy level I think...Instagram's constant changing algorithm is confusing to keep up with + depression killing my energy and motivation + dealing with a baby is exhausting (and i already dislike children to begin with...).

And a week or 2 before my period starts, my depression gets even worse, to the point of daily suicidal ideation in those weeks (I'm sure I have PMDD or PME...likely PME as I'm already depressed and it gets worse before the cycle then goes back to my "normal" state of depression after period ends.) Still, art and the fear of failing to successfully take my own life is what is keeping me alive. If I'm gonna die, I just want to die right away lol but haven't figured that out... I do want to do something with art and be successful, yet a part of me doesn't want to bother at all and just wishes to die in my sleep. I dont really feel sad or anything, i just feel numb i think. Idk anymore

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If I have reason to doubt someone's type, I will not discuss any specifics of type development until the situation is clarified. Since I see little evidence of Ni and Te so far, I will either require you to verify your type or provide a more comprehensive explanation for your atypical function expression/development. You point to depression as a major problem and perhaps it is obscuring the view of your type development. Describing the problem is a good first step, but it’s not enough for achieving a comprehensive understanding of its roots and origins.

Depression is a multi-factorial disorder, which means that everyone’s path to recovery is somewhat different, depending on which factors are most influential. It sounds like you’re just drifting through life aimlessly with very little self-awareness. You’ll need to dig deeper into why you’re suffering and try to account for all of the factors that might have led you to be depressed. In other words, you have to identify the right causes to find the right solutions.

You already know some things you should do, yet you won’t do them. Genuine question: What will it take for you to act? What/who can help you when you don’t care about yourself enough to take responsibility for your own well-being? You don’t want people interfering in your life and that means you have to be the one to step up and take charge. You claim to not care about anything, yet people only ask for help because they care. So, do you or don’t you care? Do you or don’t you want more for yourself? What is the truth?

If you want to understand yourself better, the first thing you have to do is stop deflecting and be completely honest about what you feel. “Numbness” is merely a defense mechanism, a way to cover one’s true feelings, especially the true extent of one’s pain. You won’t understand the problem fully until you access that pain. Everyone has within them a voice that guides them toward self-actualization, so it’s time for you to start listening to it.

Mental disorders are similar to physical diseases; the longer you leave them, the worse they get. Left untreated, depression worsens over time as your life gradually falls apart and you feel as though you have less and less to live for. It sounds like you’ve left the problem festering for too long. PMDD might require medical attention to ensure there’s nothing wrong with your hormone levels, so consult with your doctor. If your doctor doesn’t take it seriously (due to gender bias and discrimination), keep looking until you find a doctor who does. Depression is treatable with cognitive behavioral therapy, so my recommendation is to seek help from a qualified therapist.

If you really don't have any access to therapy, you could at the very least educate yourself about depression and implement some practical advice about how to change some unhealthy thought patterns and poor lifestyle choices. Most major cities have public mental health resources available. The internet has great official resources about how to care better for your mental health. I have also discussed it and recommended books about it. What resources are available to you and have you made use of them? How much longer will you sit and wait? Sitting and waiting is how one gets trapped in a rut.

#depression #mental health #ask

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crackcrocs · 3 years

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DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #9

This is to narcissistic mothers/ parents & anyone who is willing to understand.

(Written by me-for and through the lens of my dear friend, i wish you nothing but freedom from her chains. i wish you TLC)

Their ability to make everyone think they’re loving parents.

Their ability to make their kids believe that abuse is normal.

Their ability to make you believe you owe them everything.

Their ability to make themselves believe that they are right.

Their ability to turn the tables and make you believe that it was your fault.

All of this rings so true.

They do make you feel crazy; they suck the energy and ability to reason logically right out of you- and, by very nature of their narcissism, it never occurs to them that *they* might be the problem.

You can’t expect a relationship to happen with someone highly dysfunctional. how do you stoop down to the level of someone who aside from work & put all energy into keeping up an appearance can only abuse substance, speak to empty friends & post garbage.

In truth, I think the alcoholism is a symptom of her larger mental illness or narcissistic personality disorder- but it’s no excuse. Her parenting is unreliable, inconsistent, and unpredictable. There never is a sense of safety and consistency, allowing me to thrive.

I’m told to forgive & keep peace & ignore all your craziness. All the advice I've been getting on dealing with a narcissistic mother has been saying to avoid her as much as possible, or to try communicate & ‘keep peace’ as if I haven’t tried to communicate, as if I’m purposely singling her out from our already empty relationship. Well now I'm stuck at home all day, or every household or friend I bring over, she decides to involve. So much for distancing myself. The worst part is she isn't even doing it herself, she just sits around watching tv, having friends over & phoning everyone while Im expected to clean up after her and "contribute" to the family/ financially support my self for college.

- Yes, absolutely, I am the crazy one. You know what, I’m not even going to deny it, I probably have a ton of issues, most of them mental. But guess where they came from? Guess who made those problems worse and maybe even helped create them? No mom, you’re not to blame for everything or the “war in Iraq” as you so eloquently put it. But you are to blame for some it, at the very least. it’s time to take account & I will no longer be made to feel like the obligated for for an entitled narc.

I feel your claws sinking in less and less. You no longer have me in chains, I will break free from your emotional bondage even if it takes me seeming boring & silencing myself around you to not endure & tolerate your nonsense. Your words no longer fill me with despair like they once did.

This year long cold shoulder would have once filled me with anxiety but now all I feel is bliss. I no longer feel jealous when others talk about their seemingly perfect parents because I may not have that luxury but what I do have is a chance to be a "perfect parent" myself potentially one day. To be everything you couldn't and wouldn't somewhere far away and isolated from your poison.

I wonder how you feel... but I simply can’t understand or pretend to care anymore. I’m tired of putting energy into a source that doesn’t put out. When children don't talk to you unless prompted- it’s because there is nothing to be said after the plenty opportunities given to converse truly & openly.

No I don’t want to speak to your 9th friend on the phone today again about surface level things just to please you. No I don’t want to come socialise with your drunk friends & be spoken to like a child

When you have to tell yet another lie to yet another friend to mask the evidence of a broken home When you look in the mirror and only see insecurities When you realise there's no one around you and can't figure out why When you tear down someone close yet again, to feel good about yourself I wonder how you feel, I wonder if you feel, I wonder if you can...

my mom pushes me away but doesnt wanna let me leave. she doesn’t want to take into account that she pushed me to this extent. part of growth is being able to communicate your emotions properly. how can a whole 43 year old be unable to do so? I Vocalize when I’m not okay with something. Communication helps people avoid being uncomfortable, easily triggered, hostile, or passive aggressive with people. her communication is one sided and I’m the only one who gets to listen while she’s the only one who gets to talk, otherwise I’m ‘answering back’ or ‘telling a woman what to do’ even though I talk sense and out of respect in my responses or when I do try speak.

Worse yet I have to go BACK to the emotionally abusive situation that I basically fled.

What really bugs me is when you’ve given someone so many chances to do better and change. But then once you get tired of their antics, you try to move on and they continually try to reel you back in. Not even trying to change, but instead *trying* to reel you back in for their benefit. It’s unhealthy and traumatizing to say the least.

I guess i should be glad your swinging moods and emotions taught me to manage mine from young. I should be glad that I had to teach myself not to care about what you said to me and what you thought about me. I should be overjoyed that the side effect was me not caring about what anyone said or thought and basically becoming an inert emotionless void. I should be thankful that I always look fine even when I’m in pain and feeling like death and I’m capable of putting up with things that would send any sane person off the edge.

relationships are so much healthier when the goal is to experience life together and not to try to make the person into who you want them to be or to make them do what you want them to do. In my case my mother has de masculated me over the years making me soft and obedient, for her own selfish gain of having a man worship her. she decided since she doesn’t have a man, or never managed to find someone stay at home that’s he truly connected to, she’s decided the man that’s going to worship her will be me- her son. Since I resemble my father who she was in love with, she will always talk bad on me as she resents my father for not wanting her.

through gaslighting me over the years, it’s become harder to speak up, I even feel embarrassed to tell my dad even though that’s probably the only thing that will make her open her eyes and get clean. my pot is boiling though. Independence is obviously healthy but when it gets to the point where i find it challenging to actually be able to even admit that i might need assistance in this situation, problems arise. And for what? Why I’m I protecting her image? I’ve been taught to & I’m a respectable young man who won’t take joy from her exposure, but I don’t take joy from preserving information & keeping it all inside to deal with myself. I’ve become so hard on myself and still pushing through-it’s not easy, people still expect me to be a super heroe all the time. I have a hard time opening up, allowing people to help me in whatever I’m doing. I hate even admitting I need help most times. I wish I’d been taught early what my mother learned late, thankfully I was observant, self taught & still willing to learn- thankfully I’m not a follower & I know right from wrong.

The worst part about looking at the future and trying to imagine it full of hope, light and emotional health is knowing that you'll always have the scars. Emotional abusers aren't supposed to leave scars but mine managed to. And in my mother's usual style it can even be passed off as unintentional. In my case it was actually supposed to a kind act which ended badly in the way that only events in my life can seem to end.

All the phone calls to your friends, you continuously fake talk about me on a nonexistent relationship. it’s sad how you need to phone 100 people in a day and can only hold the same surface level chats. I wonder if you can grip the fact that nobody ever wants to help you with anything. you’re lucky they even listen and you’re lucky they only know your side of the story every time. you’re a great potter & can mould situations.

It’s sad that if you sense the slightest hint that people do not approve of your estrangement and they are not going to be there for your nonsense, you stir the pot and involve and buss peoples names, further spinning your web of lies.

All the pity you came to relish over the years as single mother warrior extraordinaire would simply dry up. Any attempts to paint me, your only child in a negative light would seem simply monstrous if I exposed you, but I maintain respect, bite my tongue & hold my head up because my real mother figure taught me that.

But really you have to keep up the pretense to your friends, that I was an insubordinate, ungrateful bitch of a problem child and you were a glorious brave single mother at her wits end just trying to make things work. even with the mural I painted, you forced me to mention the single mother narrative; as if that had anything to do with my art piece. I mean how selfish can you be? the art peace was to represent Sheku Bayou & the BLM movement, I didn’t even want to put my real name- I wanted to put my instagram page associated with my art because business is business and personal is personal. but to toot your horn, I added a whole separate paragraph because you wanted your name to be connected to my art piece as though I’m some sort of celebrity and it was my claim to fame. the single mother narrative is bullshit, I know tonnes of single african parents that know how to step up when it’s time to be a mother, but that’s something you’ve never known how to do. I remember you drunk the day I came here and I will never forget the words ‘I will drink myself to death if I want to’ I don’t have sympathy anymore and I’m not a saviour, I have tried and tried through hiding alcohol, attempting to converse & get her to cut down; but you can only bring a horse to the water not to drink it. how is a teenager meant to know how to stop an alcoholic junkie? I’m her son you say? If she truly cared and wanted to fix up, I would be one thing to stop her I thought.

my mother is an alcoholic. an addict. she refuses to wear those labels, but this has far exceeded the occasional ‘binge’ ‘sesh’ or ‘Prosecco party’ .Throughout middle school and high school, I would guess that half or so of the days out of the year she spent in a wine haze. Even my constant begging her to stop drinking did not stop it. Pouring her wine down the drain or hiding it made her angry and transitioned to mental and phsyical abuse. She became increasingly angry and I aged and entered high school but she was always this way since I came really. It was during this time that I would lock the doors to my room and try to hide from her in there. I still barricade my room door to this day just for my own peace. Despite all the horrendous things she did, every once in a while she did give me money, and this gets dangled over my head RELENTLESSLY... as if money buys love.

I needed to get some outside reassurance that I'm sane. Thankfully now I know and all I can do is try stay in my lane, can’t argue with a supposed adult with a brain that resembles a wall or a child.

People who were emotionally abused have spent far too long defending themselves. Justifying their own feelings. Trying to make others see and understand what they went through is a task. Abusive parents are very good at manipulating. that’s why I have ceased contact with this toxic person, i do not owe anyone an explanation.Doesn’t matter if they are a family member or close family friend. Doesn’t matter if they are a friend or acquaintance of yours. I’ve learned just to be boring , save everything interesting and beautiful about myself for those who deserve it.

#LCZABIBU #deathwillonlybethebeginning

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demolover · 4 years

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ok. time for a heartfelt post i guess.

i have always thought the way we treat celebrities is weird. i’ve always thought that being in that position of always being watched, with everything you do picked apart, with so many people idolizing you and sometimes just as many who think you’re morally repugnant, would be awful, and i try really hard to walk the line between blindly idolizing people and over-criticizing them for things that are totally normal and human.

this, of course, is rather hypocritical, seeing as i have a whole social media account that is basically dedicated to 4 guys, and this is my overly long introduction to a birthday post for one of those guys. i’ve thought a lot in the past about how i let myself be influenced by and care a lot about people i will likely never meet. i’ve thought a lot about my beliefs on celebrity culture, and my parcipitation in it. i try really hard to limit my — for lack of a better word — idolizing of the people in the media i consume to those that are relevant to my interests beyond that media and someone i can actually take lessons from. gerard way has ultimately been for me a huge inspiration, and whether i like it or not, they’ve influenced my development into the person i am today a lot. i don’t really like it, and i don’t think i ever will. but i do think it has been good.

ok. intro over. this is as long as gerard’s instagram posts, and i haven’t even gotten to the main message.

so all this was to say, it feels really weird for me to be writing this kind of a message for someone who has no idea who i am or what he means to me. but i think it’s important for me to do so anyway, and recognize the huge part he has played in my life.

we talk a lot about how mcr saved our lives. i don’t think they saved mine — maybe they did. maybe i would be dead if it wasn’t for how they changed my beliefs — but they have made it so much better. mcr, and gerard’s lyrics for mcr specifically, changed my worldview and my belief system and i am so much of a better and happier person because of it. i know we’re all sad and emo here, but before i started really listening and paying attention and caring about the meanings behind gerard’s lyrics, i had a pretty bleak view of humanity and the world around us and my place in it. despite all of the death and destruction in mcr’s lyrics, i have always been drawn to the themes of hope and human connection that i’ve seen so much throughout mcr’s music... and as i started looking more and more into what i thought gerard was trying to say about those themes, i started to gain some hope in humanity and the connections we make with other humans. now, one of my biggest beliefs centers on those human connections, and how we assign meanings to things. and now i think it’s beautiful. before i started thinking on that stuff, i don’t think i could have ever called humanity beautiful.

in a less philosophical sense, gerard’s passion and pursuit of what he cared about has inspired me a lot to do more of the things i am actually passionate for. i got way more into art because of them, and art is still one of the things that brings me the most joy in my life. i’m especially grateful for it right now, as it’s really helped keep me out of depressive spiraling during this quarantine. they also inspired me to start trying to write more, and to get more into making music myself. they really showed me what my future could hold, and that i could find a future in the things i am passionate for. and i still hold that hope today.

and as a nonbinary person myself, gerard’s fluid gender presentation is amazing to see, and it’s mostly because it’s so clearly not just a joke... we’ve got plenty of nontraditional presentation gender-wise in pop culture, but before i got into mcr, almost all of what i’d seen was so obviously a joke. and this didn’t feel like a joke... and that was a big thing for me, who knew i didn’t really fit within the gender binary, but didn’t know if there was literally any way to express that in a way that wasn’t something to be made fun of. this is the part of this whole.... birthday statement that i least feel like i can really explain what i mean. which makes sense, because my relationship to gender is complicated, and as we all know from the constant discourse, gerard’s is too. though i can’t explain it in words or thoughts, gerard’s influence on my acceptance of my gender identity and queerness go way beyond fashion and presentation..... there is something in me that says when i see them.... something. i don’t fucking know. i would see myself, maybe, if that wasn’t cliche as hell. i would see who i could be, grow up to be, as someone outside the binary. not “be” as in have his life — we’ve already established that i think being a celebrity would be shitty. but to reach a point. where my gender and the way i present my gender is no longer something i hate and fight and wear layers and layers to hide, but just a part of me. and i see gerard now, happy, and i think this is a possibility.

i’ve always cared way too much about the future and my place in it and how i would make a difference. i also never thought i had much of a future. at least not one that mattered. i’m mentally ill and i have been for years. i’m not in the gender binary. i didn’t grow up seeing any mentally ill or nonbinary people who were old. i didn’t think that could be me. if i saw any future for me at all, it was a future where i was cis and “normal” and practically unrecognizable from myself.

that’s what i see in gerard, i guess. a hope, not just for the world, not just for the grand concept of what humanity is, but for me, personally.

he’s 43. i can’t imagine making it to 43. except maybe i can now.

happy birthday, gerard. thank you for everything.

#did u guys know i am terrible at being concise?#if you decided to skip that (u made the right decision) the basic gist is: i meditate on celebrity culture and the hypocrisy of my part in #i say that mcr changed my worldview #taking a slight digression to talk about lyrical themes and also human nature. i say gerard gave me hope i could follow my passions.#i try to explain how gerard has helped me accept my gender. i say they #have given me hope that i #as a nonbinary and mentally ill person. have a future that actually includes who i am #i wish him a happy birthday the end #nonsense

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sarahkitttyyy · 7 years

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I don’t know if I have made the right decision, it was so difficult to make. I have had to block the person that I have really strong feelings for from all social media. I don’t know if I did the right thing but there was no point in me continuing to go back to him. I have tried so hard to make things how they were, but he wouldn’t budge. He had lost all feelings for me. I don’t understand how you can just stop having feelings for someone so quickly. How does it happen? How can they do that? The last time he came to my house, my head was rest on his lap and he told me I was a very special girl. He bought me a tiny succulent and I had to stop myself from crying. How can the very next day his feelings of me change all together? He had no right to lead me on like that. I now realise that everything that was said between us was a lie. I told him about how damaged I was, how I have been hurt, I was telling him from the start. I remember once I told him men use me for an experience, as a sexual object and he sent me a message that night saying I was so much more than just an experience and I remembered that because it was such a nice message to receive from the person I like, now I remember it as the biggest lie anyone has ever told me in order to fuck me.

I used to tell him he was my dream man, he was perfect, he was smart, handsome and funny. I said I will never meet anyone like him again, he said he would never meet anyone like me again either. If someone really believes that how can they just let someone go? How can your feelings change so suddenly? Now I look back and I think what made him so special? He never really knew or cared about my mental health, he never really asked. When I told him I needed reassurance from him sometimes he told me he can’t fix my problems. I have never asked another person to fix my problems, I will never rely on a man to help “fix” my mental health although I do ask for understanding and empathy. It’s not difficult to message someone the next day, when I had told him this is when my anxiety is the worst, and just tell me everything is ok. Just ask how I am, just be normal. Apparently, this was asking for too much because he never did it. How can I think someone who knows about my anxiety and ignores my simple request as perfect? A man who doesn’t give a fuck about me and my suffering? Sounds like literally every other fucking bloke I know.

I went into this knowing that he was in an open relationship and knowing that I would be the one getting fucked over. I said to my friend that at the end of this I’ll walk away with nothing except knowing that I was used as a fetish and knowing that I’m not likable by other women and they’ll walk away with a rekindled relationship, it’s exactly what happened. I remember speaking to him about how he will never care about me because he already has someone to care about and he said he doesn’t rank people in that way. Months later, he is saying there are priorities before me, and he wonders why I get upset at his change in behaviour. He started saying he wasn’t open about his feelings and he is not that type of person. He had always been open about his feelings though before he started distancing himself, it was an excuse to not be honest with me. I see him be honest about his feelings al the time on social media when talking about his girlfriend. I’m also aware that people express themselves differently, so I hoped he would find another way to show me he cares, but he never did.

I remember before the first time we met and he said he felt like he was meeting with the hottest girl in school. Now he doesn’t even think about me. I can feel his relief in knowing that I have left his life and that he can continue as everything was being able to have had his experience. I asked him once what his favourite memory of ours was, he didn’t answer. What’s a few months to him with someone when he already has someone else? It doesn’t matter to him. It breaks my heart knowing he won’t care that I’m gone. I think about him all the time. Recently we were talking and I thought the conversation was sweet, I thought we were being affectionate with each other. How could I be so delusional? He eventually said “can I say something cute?” and I was so excited in my head to hear him say something sweet to me and show me he cares, but he just made the conversation sexual. I was so disappointed and heartbroken. How can I be so delusional that something would happen to me? My standards are so low. I just wanted to hear something nice from him and he set it up as if he was going to, only to sexualise the conversation. Now I realise that whenever I was talking about something that wasn’t sex he was just waiting to bring it up and finding any opportunity to do so. Just like every other man.

I did everything he asked me to do, be friends with his girlfriend, follow her, meet her. I wanted to meet her and I wanted to make it work. While I joke about taking her boyfriend, I have zero interest in this. I always felt sorry for her and I still do. I have zero interest in competing with another woman for a man. Then she blocked me, I wonder if he ever stood up for me at all. I highly doubt this. I highly doubt he ever said anything positive about me to her. I can just imagine him trying to make her feel better and telling her that I’m nothing to him, just sex. Which was true. How could I be so delusional? When he uninvited me from his birthday, I was so heart broken. I felt so sad that he could just do that because it proved he didn’t want it to work anymore. He blamed me for trying to “break up with him” but nothing about his girlfriend just deleting me? I also recognise how petty it all sounds. It IS petty, but it was all so hurtful when I was really trying to do the right thing by both of them. My actions have always been to protect him in his relationship, I didn’t want them to fight and I often thought about how I should just leave and let them be happy together. He said I was saying these things for a reaction. She watches stories on my Instagram, she’s one of the first to watch them each time. It makes me so angry that she can block me and make her account private, but continues to stalk me from her mediocre art account. I never said anything to him about her doing that even though I make myself extremely vulnerable and it’s fucking uncomfortable. I didn’t want to cause tension. Again, I know it’s all so petty. It’s all the small things that build up that hurt me.

I wonder if he remembers or cares about any of the conversations we had? I can only assume he doesn’t since he never remembered anything I told him. He never remembered my friends names, even though I spoke about them all the time and he knew how important they were to me. I was speaking to my friend about blocking him, we spoke about what a dream it would be for him to call me once I had done it and express regret and want me back, I told her he has never expressed regret or wanted me back. I can’t let myself become delusional again by filling my head with daydreams based on romantic comedies. Those types of things don’t happen to me. I really thought it was different with him but it turned out to be just the same.

I just hate that all along I was nothing to him. Hours and hours of conversation every day, talking on the phone every night, the way we fucked, all the things we had planned, everything I wanted to give him emotionally and sexually, and it means nothing to him. Just relief to know I’m gone. I think about when we first met in person and I felt so close to him, I really felt it was something special. I loved how he would pushed me into the alley and kissed me. His hands were all over me and I loved how he would do that. Whenever we would see each other after that he would grab me and we would be all over each other. All the sex we spoke about and the way we would do it, how we did it, has now all just become degrading to me. Not in the sexual way either, I wanted him to say and do certain things because I thought there was feeling there, I thought I could trust him to say those things and not mean it. Now it’s just plain degrading, it makes me sad. I see his porn tumblr and I feel ashamed that I’m essentially going to be replaced with porn and that is fine to him. I was just a fetish. It was my biggest fear and yet It happened again. I’m always the stepping stone, the fill in, the experience, and this is what I was to him and his relationship. I think even then I’m giving myself to much credit in his eyes, I think I was just available at the time and he had his dick in his hands.

My housemate thinks that if I’m even thinking that he wouldn’t care that I’ve blocked him it’s even more reason to do so, because generally people care when that happens and they try and get the other person back, and I think that is true. The fact I even think he won’t care is enough to just do it but I worry it’s the wrong thing to do and I should keep waiting for him. But it’s been almost a week now after he last upset me and he still hasn’t tried to contact me. On Friday, I felt we had a really intense conversation about fucking that lasted hours, I felt all my feelings for him rush back and I was convinced he felt the same way. Again, I was delusional. When I was upset he couldn’t see me, he told me I was being sassy. I can’t even begin to express how offensive it is to reduce a woman’s pain or anger to “sassiness.” The next day I was happy to watch Richmond win. I received texts from literally fucking everyone, people coming out of nowhere to say THIS IS AMAZING! He continued to ignore me. How can you ignore someone when something that makes them so happy has just happened? Another sign he doesn’t care about me.

I’m devastated, I’m so sad thinking about how he won’t care. I’m sad thinking that we won’t be able to do anything we spoke about, I’m sad that a connection never really existed. I worry I’m making the wrong decision but I don’t have any other choice. If you like someone and care for someone, you let them know, you want to work on your problems, he doesn’t want to do that with me.

#mine #heartbroken #me #oversharing on social media

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finn-nelson-for-the-win · 7 years

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I bet you didn’t think that by “incredibly soon” I meant about a day later, huh? Truth be told I felt kinda bad about the previous chapter because it was mostly just a filler chapter to speed the plot along and show some time passing, but this one and the next couple chapters deliver some seriously flirty vibes and drama (at least in my opinion) and the words just kept coming so I decided to seize the opportunity and post this ASAP.

I also found this chapter rather cathartic to write because I am still incorporating a lot of myself and my experiences into Rae and the story overall, so I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! This chapter is at about 2,994 words, which is right on track with my goal of making each mini-fic 3,000 words or less!

Wanna get caught up on the updates leading up to this one? Look no further!

Feel free to let me know if you would like to be added/removed from the tagged list and I’ll be happy to oblige! As always: each and every one of you that read my writing, like, reply, reblog, etc. are amazing people and inspire me to keep writing! :)

Just a Touch of Sweetness

Friday and Saturday sort of just blurred together, as Rae slowly began falling into the routine of Finn sitting with her and Izzie whenever they all worked together, but by Sunday afternoon when Rae walked into her apartment after a long day at work, she felt completely and utterly exhausted—both mentally and physically.

It was mid-November, which meant that the holidays were approaching and things at work were quickly becoming more hectic. To make matters worse, that also meant that there was less than a month left in this semester of Uni, which was making Rae feel relieved but incredibly overwhelmed simultaneously. It seemed as though all of her classes had suddenly announced the final projects and assignments that were swiftly approaching and the stress of everything was becoming too much for Rae to handle.

As much as Rae wanted to just turn on some music and relax in a desperate attempt to ease her worries about school, she knew that procrastination would only exacerbate the stress she was currently feeling with knowing that she had assignments due that evening in both of her online classes, as well as an upcoming exam in her Economics class that has been the bane of her existence this entire semester.

Groaning and sighing dramatically as she turned on her laptop and opened up Spotify, preparing herself to work on her assignments without stopping until she had finished everything that was due at midnight, Rae pressed play on her go-to playlist that she had made to match her mood this time of year, aptly titled “Falling…”, and began trudging her way through the list of assignments she needed to get done.

Hours had passed when Rae finally submitted the last assignment she needed to complete prior to midnight.

Thank fuck that is finally over with!

Rae was still feeling overwhelmed by everything she had coming up in her classes as she attempted to prioritize her upcoming assignments and she could feel her breath catch as the panic and feelings of self-doubt and fear of failing out of Uni this semester crept in. To an extent, Rae knew that she was taking on too much responsibility going to Uni full-time, working part-time, and becoming financially independent after moving away from her family to attend Uni. She had incredibly high expectations for herself and she could not even fathom letting herself down by falling behind in her classes or losing the academic scholarship that was the only reason why attending University was even a possibility for Rae.

Knowing that she had to calm down before she had a proper panic attack, Rae gripped the edge of the desk in her bedroom she was sitting at tightly and began counting quietly under her breath, attempting to regulate her breathing.

Just breathe, Rae…In 2-3-4-5-6-7-8, Out 2-3-4-5-6-7-8, In 2-3-4…Out 2-3-4….In…Out…

When her breathing was almost back to normal, her grip on the edge of her desk loosened and she flexed her fingers that had begun to cramp from how tightly they were clenched.

Despite calming down slightly, Rae knew that listening to music could only do so much to help her relax, so Rae turned to the next biggest comfort and sense of enjoyment in her life: food.

Rae has had a strange relationship with food for as long as she could remember. She had a tendency to overeat to the point of being sick to cope with stress and sadness as a child; however, as she grew older and her self-esteem plummeted as bullying “the fat girl” was a more common occurrence at college, Rae began to not eat in front of strangers. This continued until she also refused to eat in front of people that were not her family, until eventually she skipped meals entirely on a regular basis.

For years she struggled to find some semblance of balance because she knew the dangers she faced from both binging and skipping meals, that is until she found a way that she could love food without the temptation and regret she had previously associated it with.

When Rae was 16 years old she discovered that her casual interest in cooking was a true passion and she had quite a knack for it. As she continued cooking for her family and friends and experimenting with new foods and new recipes, Rae gained a new appreciation for food as a form of art and expression that did not lead to her hating herself afterwards. And so even now, nearly 4 years later, Rae would go on “stress baking” and “stress cooking” sprees to help clear her mind and get relieve stress.

Hmm…what shall I bake today…?

Rae walked into the small kitchen in her apartment and perused her cabinets trying to determine what she had the ingredients to make before grabbing her phone off of the counter to get a second opinion.

Rae: Hiya Izz, random question: Do you like cupcakes?

Rae set her phone back down on her kitchen counter and it buzzed almost immediately indicating that Izzie had already replied.

Izzie: OF COURSE I DO, RAE. All sweet things beckon to me! <3 <3 <3

Rae: Lol…In that case, I just might have a sweet surprise for you tomorrow before work! ;)

Rae returned her phone to its place on the kitchen counter, making a mental note to read Izzie’s response as soon as she had a spare moment after getting the cupcakes started.

Two hours later Rae was putting the finishing touches on the three dozen cupcakes she had made and examining them to determine if there was anything else she should add to them.

Hmm…chocolate cupcakes with a chocolate-hazelnut filling and a cream cheese buttercream…Well, you can never go wrong with a little more chocolate!

Rae proceeded to drizzle the top of each cupcake with the remainder of the chocolate she had incorporated into the filling she had made. She quickly cleaned up the last traces of her late night baking, licking the spoons used to mix the batter and taking pride in the perfect balance of sweetness and rich chocolate flavor she had achieved on this particular batch of cupcakes.

By the time she finished tidying up the kitchen a bit, it was just past 2am and Rae decided it best to get some sleep, fully aware that she had to go to work early the next morning.

***

Rae walked into work well over 15 minutes earlier than she typically arrived, especially on a Monday morning, and took a seat at one of the tables in the break room before retrieving her cellphone from the bottom of her purse to browse her social media accounts.

Uninterested in what she saw while scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, Rae set her phone to the side and began examining the small white box containing the cupcakes she had brought to work for a few of her coworkers until she head the door to the break room open.

“Whoa…Finn, you’re here really early today, aren’t ya?” Rae asked raising an eye brow as Finn walked toward the table she was sitting at with a massive grin.

“Good morning to you too, Mae,” Finn replied, feigning that he took offense to what she had said to him.

“Oh, don’t be that way Finn! It’s good to see you, I just didn’t anticipate you being here so early.”

Rae noticed that Finn stood in front of the table she was sitting at and was shifting awkwardly from one foot to another, biting the skin on his thumb subconsciously.

Why does Finn seem nervous? It’s just me after all, he’s got nothing to be nervous about.

“Finn, you know you can take a seat at the table with me is you want to, right?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry…” Finn pulled the chair nearest to Rae out from under the table before sitting down and giving her a small close-lipped smile to help hide some of the embarrassment he was feeling.

“I just didn’t know if you’d be okay with me sitting down at the table with ya or not…” He trailed off until he was barely mumbling and went right back to biting the skin around his thumb.

Rae and Finn sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes until he lightly tapped the top of the square box she had sitting in the center of the table.

“What’s in the box, Rae?” he asked, clearly curious but resisting the urge to open the box and take a look for himself.

“This box, my dear Finnley,” she began but stopped to smirk at her use of the nickname she knew he secretly hated, opening the box to let both of them see its contents, “contains some of the Chocolate Hazelnut cupcakes that I baked last night and brought for some people here at work.”

“Ah, alright…wait, did you say you MADE these? They look like they’re professional quality! How’s that possible!?” Finn exclaimed, making no attempts to hide his surprise and how impressed he was that these cupcakes were homemade.

“Yeah, I like to cook and bake when I’m upset or stressed, and I’ve been pretty overwhelmed with Uni lately, so last night I did some stress baking. I still have a lot to learn about baking and decorating cakes, but thank you, I tried to make them look halfway decent at least.”

“‘Halfway decent’? Are you shitting me, Mae? These cupcakes are perfect looking! Why in the hell would you want to share these with other people? If I were you I’d just keep them all for myself…”

Rae tensed slightly, trying to determine the best way to respond to Finn without making him think that she was weird.

Careful what you say, Rae...one wrong thing and Finn will always see me as some crazy, fat blob.

“Uh, well I love to cook, but I don’t have much of an appetite for sweets. So whenever I bake a lot, like I did last night, I give most of what I make to people here at work.”

Finn nodded and continued examining the cupcakes that still sat in the white cardboard box while Rae tried to read Finn’s face and figure out what he thought of the explanation she had given.

“Hiya Rae! Morning Finn…you two are here quite early today!” Izzie mused excitedly as she pulled out the chair at the table across from Rae and Finn and sat down, nearly bouncing with her usual level of energy that seemed impossible this early on a Monday.

Both simply shrugged in response, which made Izzie laugh because she could almost swear they were the same person at times with how similar they are.

“Izzie! I have a surprise for you, love, as promised…” Rae opened the box containing the cupcakes, showing Izzie the sweet surprise she had brought for her today.

“Oh my god, Rae! These look amazing! And you made and decorated these yourself!?” Izzie removed a cupcake from the box to examine it further.

“I was just telling Rae the same thing when she showed me the cupcakes! It’s not just me that thinks you’re insanely talented, girl,” Finn replied, playfully poking Rae’s arm to further prove his point to her.

Rae stood up from the table, cheeks blushing a deep red color, and pushed the now vacant chair back under the table, thoroughly embarrassed by Izzie and Finn’s praise and acknowledgment of her baking skills.

“Well, I’m gonna head inside and get to work now. Are you planning to stay out here to eat a cupcake, Izz?”

“Yeah, as long as you don’t mind saving my seat for me, Rae…These look too good and I can’t wait much longer to give them a taste!”

Rae giggled and informed Izzie that she would save her a seat but Rae expected to get Izzie’s feedback on the cupcake as soon as she finished.

“Hey, wait up, girl!” Finn walked hurriedly towards where Rae stood holding open the break room door, allowing him to catch up to her.

Finn gave Rae a huge smile, making her chuckle, and walked beside her toward the seat to the right of Izzie and Rae that has become his regular spot to sit for almost a week. As they passed the radio in the corner of the room, Finn stopped to turn it to Rae’s favorite Alternative music station, which earned him an appreciative nod and genuine smile from Rae.

Just as Rae and Finn got logged into their computers and began getting settled in to answer customer questions, Izzie came bounding through the door, scanning her badge in the process, before rushing to take her seat on Rae’s left.

“Rae, holy shit that cupcake was amazing!”

“Izzie!” Rae exclaimed, laughing at the sound of Izzie cursing, which was a very rare phenomenon.

“I’m serious, Rae! I don’t know how you did it, but that cupcake from the filling to the decorations, to the cake itself were fantastic!”

“Well thank you Izz, I’m really happy to hear you enjoyed it!”

The three of them continued working, only occasionally stopping when Rae and Finn bickered about their opinions of the song currently playing on the radio or when Izzie brought up how delicious the cupcake had been and how tempted she was to take another one during her break that was coming up shortly.

Rae was quickly becoming accustomed to the new dynamic between her and Finn, especially considering that she had been prepared for the worst following the mixed messages she received from Finn last Monday. Sitting next to Finn this week and talking to him more at work than she has heard him speak in the month she had been working here has allowed Rae and Izzie to get to know Finn a little bit better and Rae could almost say she considered him one of her mates.

When Izzie sat back down at her desk after coming in from her break, she turned towards Rae hesitantly, avoiding eye contact.

“Rae…I hope you aren’t too mad at me, but after giving Rebecca the cupcake you saved for her, I ate another one of the cupcakes you brought while I was on break.”

“Don’t worry about it, Izz! I brought them specifically for my friends here at work and I have plenty more at my apartment if you want more. Just let me know!”

“Aw, thanks Rae, I’d really appreciate that!”

Izzie returned to responding to customers and Rae turned in her desk chair when she noticed that Finn was locking his computer.

“Are you about to go on break, Finn?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I just wanted to let you know that if you want a cupcake before Izz eats them all herself, you are more than welcome to take one. I felt like a real dickhead about teasing you with them and not even offering you one,” Rae replied, apologizing for her inadvertent rudeness and lack of manners by not offering Finn a cupcake as well this morning.

“Are you sure I can take one, Rae? You don’t have to give me one if ya don’t want to…”

“Of course I’m sure,” Rae interrupted, “I want to know if it lives up to your expectations or not!” Rae winked at Finn, causing him to gulp audibly and clear his throat before stuttering out his reply.

“Uh, wow…thanks, Rae! You just made my day! I know it’s gonna be amazing because that cupcake looked fucking amazing, but I’m going to give you really detailed feedback, okay? Because I really love critiquing stuff like this like they do in those cooking show competitions.”

“Hell yeah, I love those shows! Don’t spare my feelings either, I want to know what you really think of them.” Rae added, laughing at the childlike excitement Finn was emanating at the mere mention of the cupcakes.

“In that case, Mae, I will be sure to be EXTRA hard on you…err…your cupcakes, I mean…uhhh…I’m just gonna go now!” Finn hurried away, avoiding eye contact with Rae as he walked out the door in the direction of the break room.

Well…that certainly was an interesting choice of words, Finnley…

When Finn returned fifteen minutes later and sat back down in his seat, Rae was already turned in her desk chair facing Finn with her arm propped up beside his computer screen and her chin resting on her hand.

“So Finnley…what did you think?” She asked, biting her lower lip slightly as she braced herself for his feedback.

“Well Mae,” he began placing emphasis on his nickname for her that he knew got on her nerves, “I thought it was pretty fucking fantastic! I noticed that the cupcake itself was hardly sweet at all, it was mostly just the filling and frosting on top that added sweetness.”

“Thanks, Finn. I’ve always hated things that are too sweet so I always try to focus the sweetness on certain aspects of what I’m making. That way there is just a touch of sweetness and it isn’t overwhelmingly sweet…Was there anything else you would have wanted different about them?”

“Well, don’t get me wrong Rae, I really liked the cupcake,” he prefaced, trying to soften the blow of his critique to follow, “but I really would have like there to be more filling on the inside.”

“Oh, and why is that Finn? Was it not sweet enough for you as it was?” Rae asked quirking her eyebrow in anticipation for his answer.

“It was plenty sweet, but knowing that there was a filling in it, I was kind of hoping to get it all over my mouth and face while I was eating it…I like it a little dirty, you know?” Finn smirked and gave her a quick wink when he noticed Rae’s eyes widen at the double entendre in his statement.

Are you shitting me right now? Finn Nelson, you will be the death of me, I just know it...

@eveerez @tinakegg @hey1tskat1e @bitchesbecrazy89 @kneekeyta @milllott @protectfinnnelson @arathewallflower @jackiewalsh2013 @pink-royaute

#mmfd fanfic #my mad fat diary fanfiction #Finn is very interested in Rae's goodies #in more than one way lol #I'm not even sorry #chapter 3 #my writing

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unifiedsocialblog · 5 years

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15 of the Most Important Instagram Trends to Watch Right Now

Instagram trends can make or break your social marketing strategy. That’s why it’s important to stay on top of them.

Brands that keep up with the top trends on Instagram can take advantage of new features and beta tools ahead of their competitors. They also show their followers they know what’s up.

With added pressure from TikTok and a new head of company, Instagram is rolling out lots of new innovations, features, and tools.

These are the top trends on Instagram we’re watching right now.

Bonus: Download a free checklist that reveals the exact steps a lifestyle photographer used to grow from 0 to 600,000 followers on Instagram with no budget and no expensive gear.

15 top Instagram trends to watch for

1. More Instagram Stories, fewer posts

Instagram Stories have taken over, with more than 500 million viewers every day.

They have also become the place where people keep tabs on their friends and family, according to Instagram research.

On the other hand, the Instagram feed is primarily associated with polished content and discovery.

Getting rid of the chronological feed has only reinforced that perception. Posts now need to be slightly more evergreen. Stories seem more real-time by contrast.

The majority of users see the Instagram feed as a place to find information and discover products and brands.

While that’s good news for brands, regular users find it more difficult to imagine their content in the mix. Some have viewed Instagram’s decision to test hiding likes as an attempt to spur more sharing from those who feel intimidated by the feed.

2. Growth of the Explore tab

More than 200 million Instagrammers check the Explore grid every day and that number is expected to rise this year.

The feed’s new navigation bar now offers shortcuts to IGTV and Shop. From there, people can delve into their niche interests, like beauty, travel, food, or art.

Or, they can get lost in a selection of Stories that will now be algorithmically fed into the Explore feed.

3. Sound on for Instagram Stories

It’s still important to design for sound off environments. But a recent Facebook (and Instagram) study found that viewers like voiceover and music. 80% of Stories with voiceover or music performed better than ads without.

Currently 60% of Instagram Stories are viewed with sound on.

Maybe TikTok’s musical platform has helped turn up the volume across social media channels. Either way, expect TikTok to influence more Instagram trends to come.

4. Strategic stickers in Instagram Stories

Stickers are popular on Instagram Stories, but businesses have had mixed results with them. That’s going to change this year, though.

Expect to see fewer unnecessary and generic stickers, and more polished and original branded stickers over 2019.

5. More interactive Instagram Stories

While stickers have been a mixed bag for businesses, interactive stickers have been a hit.

Questions, poll, countdown, and emoji-slider stickers don’t just prompt more engagement, they make Instagram Stories more sticky. In other words, people stick around longer if there’s something for them to interact with.

For instance, Instagram internal data shows that nine times out of 10, the polling sticker increases video views.

Look for Instagram to unveil for interactive elements over the coming year.

6. Easier ways to shop on Instagram

With more than 70% of shopping enthusiasts using Instagram to explore brands, Instagram now rivals Pinterest as a platform for product discovery.

Over the past year Instagram introduced product tags in feed posts, product stickers in Stories, and a shopping feed via the Explore tab.

With more than 130 million taps on these tags each month, a direct buying option is the logical next step. In March 2019, Instagram rolled out a beta in-app Checkout feature that it’s testing with 20 brands, including Adidas, Burberry, Nike, and Revolve.

Instagram charges merchants a selling fee to use Checkout. But, if it spikes enough sales, the fee won’t stop more brands and influencers from getting in on the action.

Pick up tips on how to make your Instagram account more shoppable.

7. Shoppable influencers

Instagram influencers face a barrage of comments and DMs that often ask the same question: Where’d you get that?

To save influencers’ time, Instagram now lets creators tag products in their posts, which can be purchased directly with Instagram Checkout.

Only a select few currently have access to the feature, including Chiara Ferragni, Kylie Jenner, and Vogue.

Right now, they can only tag businesses participating in the beta Checkout program. But more will be available soon.

8. More realness and representation

Authenticity is so last year. 2019 is all about #nofilter.

Celebrity influencers like Jameela Jamil have waged a war on airbrushing, photoshopping, filtering, body shaming, and non-inclusive creative.

View this post on Instagram

Boob stretch marks are a normal, beautiful thing. I have stretch marks all over my body and I hereby rename them all Babe Marks. They are a sign my body dared to take up extra space in a society that demands our eternal thinness. They are my badge of honour for resisting society’s weaponizing of the female form. ❤️ ps. My face is white because I wear spf 100 sunscreen like a boss. ???? PS. LOVE YOUR BROWN SKIN. I tan responsibly but I love to tan! I love to embrace and celebrate my heritage. This skin bleaching and whitening should be banned. It’s inherently racist, classist and emotionally very damaging. #brownandproud

A post shared by Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamilofficial) on Apr 1, 2019 at 7:50am PDT

Expect to see stretch marks, zits, and more from brands, especially in Instagram Stories. And with it expect to see more real talk about mental health, body insecurities, and other important issues.

In fact, Jamil’s radically inclusive @i_weigh account continues to gain followers. And with a follow from @sussexroyal, the official account of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, I WEIGH’s profile will by royally amplified.

Expect brands to more frequently sub models for real people. You should also see more diverse creative.

Aerie has earned major social klout for its “Retouching free since 2014” aesthetic. This goes for influencer partnerships, too. See IKEA’s partnership with the rainbow Amina Mucciolo being @studiomucci.

View this post on Instagram

#tbt I can’t believe it’s already been a year since this happened! Caption from the original post: “Total full circle moment! @mrstudiomucci and I got married at @ikeausa 10 years ago and now our loft is featured in the @ikeafamilymag ???????????? and my mug is on the cover ????!” See link in my bio for the full #Ikea home tour.

A post shared by Amina Mucciolo (@studiomucci) on Mar 28, 2019 at 10:36pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

"Middle school and high school years were really hard for me. When it came to accepting my body it felt like a forever struggle that would never ease up. Now I know that my beauty is not determined by how skinny my waistline is or how perfect my skin is. The truth is I know I am beautiful, every day, outside and in. Every pimple, stretch mark, every roll and curve are real and unretouched. My beauty shines every day in every way. And yours does too." @daniebb3 Loves the swim she's in! Share your unretouched swim photos with #AerieREAL @Aerie & we’ll donate $1 (up to $50K) to @NEDA for every post.

A post shared by aerie (@aerie) on May 20, 2019 at 6:00pm PDT

9. Rise of relatable influencers

Users are looking for authenticity from their influencers, too. The unrealistic lifestyles and picture-perfect aesthetics of certain Instagram influencers has given rise to Instagram vs. Reality memes. Out of that has come a new breed of influencer: the relatable influencer.

For example, mommy blogger Laura Izumikawa shares the ups and the downs of parenting. Joana Ceddia channels her awkwardness into humour. Jen Gotch talks anxiety and bipolar disorder. These influencers attract followers who are going through similar experiences.

As Izumikawa shares, “People are on social media to connect—or at the very least—relate to others. Being open and transparent will go a long way to help you connect with your audience.”

View this post on Instagram

This is feels like my new normal. Swollen eyes, constant flow of tears and long, beautiful hair. It’s stress, and insecurity and sadness. it’s emotions – some of which I haven’t felt in a long time. And it’s not that my meds don’t work or that I’m having a depressive episode, and part of me wishes it was, because I know exactly what to do when that type of situation arises. Strangely they come with less pain than this. Less tears. Less rumination and obsessive thinking because the sensation is closer to no emotion than all emotion. Add in a little shame, because I thought I was stronger than this. And also I realized that I am not immune to vulnerability and vulnerability has kind of become my brand. And it feels scary to share and it feels oftentimes meaningless to share, because it is really personal and I don’t have a solution and I usually like to offer solutions along with problems. And I’m in this fucked place because I asked to be and I should be grateful. I’m here alone, in solitary confinement – a form of psychological torture, writing this book that I really want a lot of people to read, because although it is a memoir, the goal is not just to share funny stories from my past. The goal is to enlighten people about their own mental health, to deglamorize success, build emotional intelligence, help as many people as possible feel less alone and yes of course, make everyone laugh. And I feel that instagram was a big part of what brought me this opportunity so I feel accountable to the platform and more specifically to you. So yeah, no solution here. Just an update, because the lack of an update was making me feel worse than an actual update. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe there is a light at the end of every tunnel. I just am not deep enough until the tunnel to see it and I want to go back, or lay down & cry or watch the entire first season of the Walking Dead while drunk. But I won’t because I know moving forward is the only way through. Don’t feel bad for me, I am just identifying what is happening and acknowledging that I hate it more than going to the dentist naked – which I never have done, but it sounds awful.

A post shared by jen gotch (@jengotch) on Jan 27, 2019 at 3:59pm PST

10. The influence of TikTok

The unstoppable growth of TikTok, a music-backed video-sharing app that’s popular with teens, may inspire copycat behaviour from Instagram—as we saw with Snapchat.

IGTV will probably see the most changes, since many think the channel is due for a revamp.

And there are already early signs. Instagram’s recent overhaul of the IGTV feed resembles a cross between TikTok and Snapchat’s Discover feeds. Horizontal scrolling has been replaced with vertical scrolling. And, an algorithm automatically queues up the next video for you to view.

TikTok’s popular challenges have already organically migrated into Instagram follower feeds. So it wouldn’t be surprising to see Instagram attempt to foster more of that, especially since these challenges inspire content creation.

View this post on Instagram

anxiety has left the group chat.

A post shared by Liz Plank (@feministabulous) on May 14, 2019 at 11:19am PDT

11. More channel-to-channel sharing

With posts in Stories and IGTV videos in the feed, Instagram has been toying with increased linkage between its different formats. Expect to see more crossover from brands who are attempting to boost views in different streams.

For example, when Instagram changed its feed algorithm, we saw more people sharing “new post” alerts in their Stories. Also, one-minute IGTV teasers have been popping up in the feed to direct viewers to the main channel.

Stories are no longer contained to the top of the app either. Now, they’ll show up in the Explore grid too.

The grid will offer personalized Stories recommendations, reminiscent of TikTok.

Instagram is reportedly testing adding direct links for Instagram Stories, too.

12. Sharing Twitter takes on Instagram

Hot takes have taken over Twitter, and they’re showing up on Instagram more and more.

It’s true, @fuckjerry’s been stealing (ahem, now crediting) Tweet memes for years. But, accounts like @will_ent show that this Instagram trend is not letting up.

As The Verge author Megan Farokhmanesh notes, “For some meme creators, Twitter and Tumblr are a canvas, while Instagram is the wall where they display their work.”

Look for Tweets appearing in more Instagram-friendly templates, from branded backgrounds to cleaner, cropped screenshots.

Expect also to see more text-a-gramming, too, ranging from Rupi Kaur-esque poems to more type-moding in Instagram Stories.

View this post on Instagram

#ElleWoods2020

A post shared by Hello Sunshine (@hellosunshine) on May 17, 2019 at 9:59am PDT

Read more about what meme creators get right on Instagram.

13. Increased social activism

With heightened activism spurred by social unrest and the upcoming elections in Canada and the United States, people are sharing their opinions on social media more than ever.

Text-friendly platforms like Facebook and Twitter have traditionally been associated with social activism. But Instagrammers now have a stronger-than-ever grasp of how to use the platform to share and amplify their views.

From “I voted” stickers to climate change memes, it’s become increasingly common and sometimes inescapable for people and brands to take a stand on the platform.

Activism on all fronts often involves calls for donations to nonprofits.

In February, Instagram introduced a donation sticker that can be added to Stories. While the feature is not yet available to everyone, people will be able to select a nonprofit and even customize the name of their fundraiser.

View this post on Instagram

School strike Day 1… Now I’m not alone anymore! On Friday 24/5 we are striking in 1387 places in 111 countries. And counting! I Stockholm samlas vi i Humlegården kl 11:30 nu på fredag. Sen går vi till Kungsträdgården. Forskare och aktivister talar, inklusive jag. På scen: Astrid S, Molly Sandén, Jireel, Danny Saucedo, Lamix och Annika Norlin (Säkert!) Dela detta!! Sprid till alla!! #FridaysForFuture #schoolstrike4climate #climatestrike

A post shared by Greta Thunberg (@gretathunberg) on May 21, 2019 at 11:50am PDT

View this post on Instagram

Saw this sign near my neighborhood coffee shop. It, like all of last night’s firsts, gives me so much hope. For the first time in HISTORY, there will be more than 100 women in Congress, speaking for us. Check out @glennondoyle’s latest post for a great list of where things stand. #midtermsmatter

A post shared by Natalie Portman (@natalieportman) on Nov 7, 2018 at 1:51pm PST

14. Crackdown on Instagram bots

Facebook and Twitter have been under the microscope for their role in influencing elections and harbouring hate speech. And more recent reports are uncovering the role Instagram has played, too.

Over the coming year, we’ll likely see Instagram take steps to combat abuse on its platform. We’ve already seen a few, including increased access to verification and the addition of “About this Account” to profiles with large followings.

Bans on Facebook may start to apply to Instagram, too. For example, far-right figures Louis Farrakhan, Alex Jones, Milo Yiannopoulos, Paul Joseph Watson, and Laura Loomer were removed from both sites this month.

But before there were any headlines about Russian meddling, Instagram already had a bot problem. Fake engagement bots have long been the scourge of the app, and Facebook has already started the year off by slamming bot sellers with lawsuits.

More purges, enhanced security, and increased scrutiny will likely follow in 2019.

15. Changes to Instagram Direct

Rumours that Instagram would completely push direct messaging to its standalone Direct app can finally be put to rest, at least for now.

With Direct gone, it’s likely that Instagram users will see some changes or improvements to the in-app messaging feature instead.

GIFs were introduced last year, and the Quick Replies tool was added to help businesses quickly answer frequently asked questions. It’s possible that Instagram will offer more filtering options for business and regular accounts.

For example, the option to make a Close Friends list for Instagram Stories makes it easier to direct message a group of friends at once. There are also rumours that Instagram will make direct messaging available on desktop.

Instagram is testing option to share content to Close Friends each separately pic.twitter.com/p21B4oiPof

— Jane Manchun Wong (@wongmjane) May 15, 2019

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