my oh my what big EYES you have

heaven knows i’m miserable now

synopsis: robin buckley x fem!reader

synopsis: you haven’t seen robin since sophomore year when you broke her heart. now, with supernatural forces terrorizing the town, you get a second chance at making amends when you get wrapped up in the fight against vecna.

word count: 2.6k

warnings: homophobia

a/n: robin my smolest tiniest bby :3

now playing:

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You snuck a glance across the basement of the library, to where she was sitting. The immeasurable distance she put between you two didn’t go unnoticed by you. Instead, she spent her time conversing with Nancy Wheeler, who clearly seemed irritated by her constant rambling. You found it adorable, of course, just as you found anything she did just lovable.

Nancy was the one in charge of this whole operation, breaking away from the rest of the group to look into Victor Creel. When Robin volunteered to accompany her, you thought it only fitting that you should too. You would follow Robin anywhere.

Sadly, you fucked it all up before it even truly began.

She didn’t talk to you at all since you split from the group. She didn’t like to talk to you at all, really.

You took this time to actually look through files and newspaper archives as you were supposed to, to distract yourself from your current, miserable predicament. After all, you still needed to find out what happened to your best friend Chrissy. The gruesome nature of her death was enough to convince you that it couldn't have been the deed of a human.

Meanwhile, Robin was trying her best not to talk Nancy’s ear off. She used to do that with you, but obviously, couldn't and will not anymore.

“Just so you know. I mean Steve’s like, a total dingus, but a fun dingus, you know? We share a lot of laughs, but we’re totally friends. Platonic, with a capital P.”

“Got it.” Nancy grimaced. “Why do you care so much what I think about you and Steve? I mean—Don’t you have your own thing to worry about?”

“W-What do you mean?” Robin stammered.

Nancy didn’t reply, and only pointed her head towards where you were standing at the far side of the room, rummaging through papers.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Robin.” The brunette laughed quietly. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and the way you look at her when you think she doesn’t notice. What happened between you two?”

Robin swallowed a lump in her throat. “Nothing. Nothing, okay? Let’s just . . . keep looking.”

“Hey, guys?” You called, eyebrows furrowed. “I think I found something.”

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You broke the surface, and were met with pitch black.

You dove into darkness, and were kicking and kicking, only hoping to find a portal like the rest of the group predicted. You didn’t even know what to expect, all you knew was that you wanted to keep Robin safe, even if it meant diving headfirst into the lake, not knowing what you’d find at the bottom.

The realm they called the Upside Down was nothing short of terrifying. An exact replica of your own, but plagued in darkness, parasitic vines, and demonic bats, all connected to this Vecna.

This was your chance, you thought, on the way to the Wheelers’ house, or at least a version of it in this hellhole.

You jogged to where Robin was walking alongside Nancy. As you thought of something to say, a branch caught on Robin’s foot. Instinctively, you extended your arms and caught her just in time before she face-planted.

“Careful.” You said, smiling softly.

“I’m fine.” Robin grumbled, and pushed herself off of you.

You took that as a warning. No touching it was.

“So,” you breathed out slowly, “I heard you got the highest grade in Hauser’s class last year. I mean, it’s not surprising. You’re you, after all.”

“Thanks.” Robin replied halfheartedly, avoiding your gaze.

“You know, I started reading more after you showed me the books that you liked, and I’m sure Hauser was glad that I did. My English grades were not good.” You chuckled quietly. Silence. “I read Dune. Maybe when all of this blows over, we can talk about it sometimes?”

“Look, I know what you’re trying to do, okay? But it’s not gonna work.” She snapped, stopping in her tracks. “I’m not gonna fall for this again.”

“Robin, I just wanted to—“

“Forget it, just forget it, Y/N.” She kept walking. “Please don’t talk to me anymore.”

Steve and Nancy shared a look.

You only watched as Robin continued her strides, ignoring the pang in your heart.

“Hey,” Steve said softly, “don’t be discouraged. You know Robin isn’t one to admit her feelings right away.”

“She hates me, Steve.” You said, attempting to swallow your tears. “I’ll never get the chance again.”

Up ahead, Robin was kicking the soil under her feet, as she swallowed her frustration. Who did you think you were? She just got so angry at you that she made a scene in front of everyone. Stupid, stupid, stupid . . .

“Hey there, Buckley.”

Robin did a double-take. Ever since this started, she hasn’t talked to Eddie at all, at least not one-on-one. Yet, here he was, stealing glances back at you as he walked beside her.

“Hey, Eddie.” She mumbled.

“Sounded pretty intense back there.”

“It’s fine,” she sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Y/L/N struck a nerve of yours? These popular kids, they really do know how to get under your skin, don’t they? Except . . . Y/N isn't like the other popular kids though, is she?"

Robin furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"Did you two fall out? Y/L/N ditched you for the meatheads?"

Robin sighed. Eddie's nosiness felt very familiar, and the fact that he felt so comfortable with her to be this nosy was surprising. Maybe this was what Nancy felt too. "Yeah," she said, "something like that."

"She was ready to dive in headfirst after you."

"Y/N has a weird hero complex. She would dove in for anyone."

"Y/N Y/L/N? Star of the Tigers cheer squad? Hawkins' resident heartbreaker? Nah, I don't think so." Eddie shook his head. “Look, I don’t mean to pry. It’s just . . . kinda weird between you two. With Vecna running around preying on trauma-ridden teenagers, you don’t want to be holding grudges.”

Robin knew he was right. But it wasn’t her that needed to repent, it was you.

She thought about what song would be the one that saves her. Would her friends know her enough to pick one that would rescue her from Vecna’s grasp? Would you know?

“Hey, uh, if I start floating or whatever, anything by Fleetwood Mac would work fine.” She said to the group, half-joking.

“Motley Crüe for me, or Black Sabbath.” Eddie added.

“I—uh, pfft. Guess I’m a goner.” Steve blew raspberry.

“Y/N. Y/N?” You turned to Nancy, who pointed her flashlight at your shoes. “Let’s go.”

You didn’t realize you were staring off into the distance. Why were there grandfather clock chimes in the middle of the woods?

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Dustin, the genius child, connected the dots that led you and the group here, to Eddie’s trailer where Chrissy was killed to return back to the normal world. One by one, you climbed through the portal, the laws of physics completely thrown out the window as you watched Robin, Eddie, then Nancy climb up, and fall onto the mattress.

It was your turn. You jumped onto the makeshift ladder made from Eddie’s bedsheets as Steve held it steady, and pushed yourself up. Up, up, until you felt the force of gravity pull you toward the ground.

But you kept falling and falling and falling, until you landed with a thud on hard concrete. You were on school grounds, in front of the main entrance, where two years ago, you blew your secret.

“Y/N.” A low, gutteral voice sounded.

Blood ran cold along your neck.

You were its next victim.

“Do you blame yourself, Y/N? Heartbreaker. Was the popularity contest worth it?”

“No.” You whispered to yourself, and shook your head frantically.

It wasn’t. It wasn’t worth it when you took up on that bet that Jason made with you.

“C’mon, Y/N. It shouldn’t be that hard, should it? Buckley’s a little band nerd, and a queer.” You remembered Jason’s sneering laughter. “You’re not queer too, are you?”

“You played with someone’s heart to keep your place among the cool kids. Was it worth it, Y/N?”

Robin paid you no mind when you first approach her, almost like she believed herself that someone liked you had no time for someone like her. It took you a while for her to finally ask you out, almost exceeding the three months Jason initially bet on you.

It wasn’t worth it, you knew that, because you started to like it when you press your body against hers, feeling her protective arms wrap around yourself, feeling the softness of her lips brush against your own.

It wasn’t worth it when you said those three words, which was a part of your ploy, except you meant every word, and your heart felt like it would explode hearing her say them back to you.

It wasn’t worth it, at all, because you fell in love with Robin Buckley.

And when you saw the tears streaming down her cheeks with the most pained look of betrayal on her face in the pouring rain, you knew for sure. It was not worth it.

Not one single bit.

“Y/N! Y/N!! FUCK!” Robin shouted. “Shit! Shit! Shit! What do we do?”

“What’s her favorite song?” Nancy yelled back.

“What?”

“Her favorite song, Robin! You’re the only one here that knows her!”

“I—uh . . .” Robin stammered, trying her hardest to calm her racing brain to think.

What was your favorite song? She had spent almost a year and a half trying to forget every little detail about you, after having memorized them every single day. Your favorite song . . . It’s been years. Would it even work?

“U-Uh, Psychedelic Furs! Play Psychedelic Furs!”

“I-I don’t have that!” Dustin stammered, his voice cracking, as he looked through his tapes.

“God damn it! Play—“

She remembered. On a hot July afternoon, in her room, you sat between her legs, head rested against her chest, as you giggled excitedly watching her listen to a song you showed her.

“I didn’t think you’d like this kind of music.”

“Why? Because I’m a cheerleader, I’m not allowed to like The Smiths?” You teased.

“N-No, i-it’s just—“ Robin chuckled. “I’m surprised, that’s all. I guess there’s still a lot I don’t know about you.”

“Well then, you better get to it, Buckley, because I’m a very impatient girl.” You smirked, drawing her closer by the cord of the headphones.

“Don’t mind if I do.” She leaned down to you for a firm kiss.

“‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’, The Smiths!” As soon as the words left her mouth, Dustin sorted through his tapes, and before long he had placed the headphones around your ears and blasted the song.

When you regained consciousness, Robin was all you could see, hear, and touch. You tightened your grip around her, choked sobs in between incessant ‘I’m sorry’s escaped your mouth like a broken record.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

The only time you finally got a moment’s peace was late at night, when everyone became exhausted and fell asleep. Free of their interrogation as to what you saw in your waking nightmare—much of which you lied about, they didn’t need to know the exact details—you wrapped a blanket around yourself and leaned back against the couch in the Wheelers’ basement.

The stillness of the room gave some for your own thoughts to arise. Then it sudden hit you; you almost died, and it would have been a painful death, a torment both on your mental state as well as your physical. You didn’t want to go like that, and looking around the room, you felt so lucky that these people were there to prevent you from dying. You needed better friends, and you could only hope they accept you after all this is over.

A glass of water was placed in front of you on the table, and you turned to look to realize it was Robin. She retracted her hand and sat next to you.

“Thank you.” You croaked, and reached for the glass.

Gulp. The silence was deafening. It was making you nervous.

“Thank you,” you said finally, “for saving me back there.”

“I was just guessing.” Robin shrugged, fumbling with her fingers. “I didn’t think it would work. It’s been . . .”

“Yeah. Been quite a while. But it’s still my favorite song, because . . .” you drew a breath before continuing, “because it made me realize that I was in love with you.”

Robin clenched her jaw. “Y/N . . .”

“Please let me finish, and then after this, you won’t ever have to talk to me again if you don’t want to, I promise.” You said a bit louder, then stopped when you saw Lucas turning in his sleep.

“All my life, I’ve felt this pressure sitting on my chest, like a devil, just holding my head underwater. Everyone just had these expectations they held of me, and I was scared of what would happen if I failed them. And then . . .”you laughed quietly, “then you came along, and you treated me like I wasn’t Y/N Y/L/N, like I was just a normal, stinking girl you liked to hang out with.

“I can’t change my past actions, and I know I hurt you. Believe me, I know.”You whispered, wiping tears away. “But I will not give up on you because our relationship is the most meaningful thing I’ve had in my 18 years of life, even if it was based on a lie.”

You brought your hands to your face. The cries that clawed at your throat escaped in choked sobs through the gaps of your fingers.

Robin sat there dumbfounded. All this time she thought she was just one of your toys, that she gave you her heart and you would mercilessly stomp on it and toss it away to find a new one to torment. She was at her lowest when she learned that you only went out with her because of a bet you made with the popular kids, and it made her feel stupid and small. But she also loved you fiercely—as fiercely as her naive, little 16-year-old self could have loved—and it pained her to admit that she would have done anything for you.

Robin grasped your hands slowly, setting them down on your lap, before bringing up her own to gently wipe away the tears that have wet your cheeks.

“You’re still pretty even when you cry.” She mumbled to herself, but she was sure you heard.

“You wanna come over to mine next weekend and watch Dune? You said you read the book.” She asked. “If we’re not all dead, I mean.”

The look of surprise and bewilderment on your face was so adorable, she only wanted to kiss you. “I want to go slow. I still have a lot of unresolved angst and heartbreak that shaped my late teen years from you.”

“Y-Yeah. I mean, yes.” You said, and sniffled, a smile cracked on your lips. “I’ll come over.”

She nodded, still fumbling with her fingers. Then in one quick motion, swiped across your face with a quick kiss.

You sunk back into the couch with a lovesick grin, heat crawling up your neck.

On the other side of the table, Steve lay facing away, but he was grinning like an idiot.

“Steve, you can drop the act now. We know you’re not asleep.”

good omens dashboard simulator

new-aquarian follow reblogged 🔄 your-budd...

📰 new-aquarian follow

british government: got some straight gas 🔥😜 this strain is called "mass hallucination" 🌀😵‍💫 you'll lose your sense of reality 💯

me: yeah whatever i don't feel shit

5 minutes later: dude i swear aliens just stopped by to deliver a message of universal peace and harmony

my buddy john pacing: plato wasn't lying to us about the atlanteans' prowess

some random passer-by: i bet the tibetans in the ground are here to find out how to use sherbert lemons to power nuclear reactors so they can stop the kraken from killing my aunt

🏄‍♂️ your-buddy-john follow

i meant their ability to play quoits!!!!!!

📰 new-aquarian follow

we all know you want to fuck an atlantean, john

#still not convinced they don't exist #mass hallucination suuuure #and we all had coincidentally the same?

(4,004 notes)

thin-dark-duke follow reblogged 🔄 aziraph...

🪩 disco-tony-fanatic follow

still an absolute crime that these are the only snippets of disco tony we have

this video really is the pin-nacle of all human existence

🌌 wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey follow

i am telling you, this bloke looks just like the tenth doctor

🕺anthony-dancethony follow

I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such matter.

📖 aziraphale-fell follow

Oh, dear. Crowley, is that you?

🐍 thin-dark-duke follow

ngk

(154,790 notes)

THE-ANTIC reblogged 🔄 percule-hoirot-dea...

🪦 ornithologeek-deactivated20240219

you're never gonna believe what just happened to me! there was a bloody nightingale. in berkeley square. SINGING. just like in that damned song.

🪦 king-dick-ii-deactivated13990929

what song?

🪦 ornithologeek-deactivated20240219

how do you not know 'A Nightingale sang in Berkeley Square'? here it is:

🪦 mr-fahrenheit-deactivated20240219

i don't think that is the song you wanted to post

🪦 ornithologeek-deactivated20240219

oh, sorry. dont know how that happened.

🪦 mr-fahrenheit-deactivated20240219

that is still not the song you mentioned

🪦 ornithologeek-deactivated20240219

okay, i really don't know how that happened. i swear i double and triple checked that i put the right song there

☠️ THE-ANTIC

🪦 percule-hoirot-deactivated20240220

can someone please tell me who that guy is? every time i see them reblog a post everyone in the reblog chain is deactivated. im pretty sure they made the account of a mutual delete itself.

☠️ THE-ANTIC

I AM EVERYWHERE

#EVEN WITHIN THE HOLLOW CROWN THAT ROUNDS THE MORTAL TEMPLES OF A KING

(0 notes)

thin-dark-duke follow reblogged 🔄 aziraph...

🍷 rizz-at-the-ritz follow

you are not gonna believe this, but my reservation at the ritz got cancelled again. this is the third time this month! and every time these ingnorant waiters don't even remember my reservation! im not superstitious but if i were id say there are demonic forces at work here.

📖 aziraphale-fell follow

Crowley? That wasn't you, was it?

🐍 thin-dark-duke follow

ngk

#c'mon angel #you really believe the ritz coincidentally just has a free table every time you want to eat there? #that person's a dick anyway

(150 notes)

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🪩 disco-tony-fanatic follow

#poll #cant believe there isnt a ginger dancer emoji #tumblr fix this

(666 notes)

🐸 hastur-la-vista follow reblogged 🔄 aziraph...

🦀 crabby-posts follow

look guys, i redecorated my children's hospital 🥰🤪

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📖 aziraphale-fell follow

It really is a lovely colour! Very nice indeed. The children will feel very safe, i'm sure.

🐸 hastur-la-vista follow

looks like someone pissed all over it

(3,008 notes)

👩🏼‍💻 not-my-fucking-business follow

wouldn't have believed it myself but team building exercises really work. ever since i shot my boss in the heart with a machine gun our relationship has drastically improved.

#work #he's downright nice to me now #tadfield manor

Now I’ve got ColexPaige on the brain and now I’ve got a hypothetical! What if Cole and Phoebe ended things when she “vanquished” him in Sleuthing with the Enemy? Down in the dumps, but not wanting to give into evil, Cole then decides that he’s gonna get some space. He quits his job and takes a job as lawyer (or maybe a social worker bc that would be interesting) at social services! Queue work rivals Paige & Cole! And Paige stealing the book is when Piper and Phoebe rediscover Cole. And there are MANY feelings had by all 😂

omg okay for starters b4 i even received this i was already percolating on a paige/cole edit issue is like. there really aren't any s4 clips from the remaster left on youtube meaning i gotta grab whole ass episode meaning i gotta like. know which moments to grab 😓 so um. if u have any fav paige/cole moments!! send em my way!! but yes. because like. we'll say cole and phoebe blew up in his face. as it turns out, women do not like it when you manipulate and try to murder them. and their sisters. but like who's counting. cole's got that fuckin post breakup vibe he's feeling ugly and stupid and lonely but like. there's also kinda an epiphany happening. because he felt best when he was with phoebe, because she saw him as a good man. he liked being seen that way. and like. he can't really get phoebe to see him that way because of the whole tried-to-kill-her-multiple-times-things and also she swore if she ever saw him again she'd vanquish him on sight (au specifically were instead of faking cole's death phoebe didn't have to make the call after cole saved her from krell the zotar (?? zotar the krell ???? prue is a scorpio ❤) and cole got the hell outta dodge avoiding a vanquish. he shows up in the movie like hi phoebe 😳 and phoebe meets him at the mausoleum punches him again and threatens to throw the potion but she doesn't so cole's thinking he's got a chance so he pushes his luck Then phoebe throws the potion and cole shimmers out just in time to dodge it so um. maybe not!!) But cole's thinking if he just like. Is A Good Man. people will look at him that way. so now all he needs to do is like. be a good man. which is easier said than done.

so we'll say he quits the da job because it was given to him through demonic connections and he like. gets a job doing legal work for social services because like. what's better than helping people?? like he does have an actual law degree he might as well use it. and it keeps kinda going like how it went when he worked in social services for like ten minutes in s4 like. like he's like yes i'm gonna be a good person and help people : ) and then keeps seeing shit like hey!! what the fuck!? this guys fuckin sucks ass oh my god this guy fuckin sucks ass and like. my god does he want to murder them 😐 but like we'll say phoebe had some crucial line like how good people don't murder. so he's like hhrrrrnnnnghhhh. and like. paige is canonically bad with paperwork and deadlines and all that and cole's just like very terse so when paige misses the deadline for getting some important paperwork to him he definitely snaps and paige isn't one to take that shit laying down she's like jesus fuckin christ man anyone ever told you you're a horrible fuckin person? just like god awful? fuckin demon i swear and cole is like 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 because that's not the point of this!!!! aaaaaa!! and so the next day he's up at paige's cubical like hi. i want 2 apologize. for being. rude. yesterday. and paige is like okay... because cole clearly has more to say and cole is like yeah it's just like i'm trying very hard to be a good person and you're kinda fucking ruining it w your lack of organization and it's really making it difficult for me so yeah. and paige is like that's your apology? that's your apology? have you ever apologized to anyone before in your life? and cole kinda makes this face because looking back on it um no. he hasn't. and paige kinda sees that like what the fuck?? for real?? and she's like okay well watch and learn. cole. i'm sorry for missing the deadline with the paperwork. i've been really scattered lately and i know that's not an excuse; i've already called the whoever and filed for an extension, giving us an extra week of wiggle room. the paperwork is currently complete on your desk. it won't happen again. i'm sorry. and cole's like good. and paige is like dude!? and cole is like i mean um. thank you. i accept ur apology. um. thanks. and paige is like yeah. you're welcome. dick. and cole is like 👍.

but from that point on paige is really intrigued with cole because she always just assumed snooty big wig with a big expensive law education who never cared about anyone and was really only doing this as some type of penance someone was forcing him to pay because like. god that's his vibe he really does not seem like. capable of doing any of this right. but the more she looks the more she sees him like really fucking trying he's just unbelievable lost and she's like huh. so you know she throws him a bone like hey you know like this is this and that is that kinda explaining this that cole doesn't get because he's clearly new to this job and sees kinda new to the whole concept of being a good person and paige has been here a while so she can like help. and then bonus is like. at the office christmas party or something and paige and cole are now basically kinda like friends (and paige's gay blonde friend and her also gay boyfriend with the pizza face. they r bi4bi And t4t. and they are paige's besties. and by extension cole is friends with them. they're all like in love you're in love smoochie smoochie ahaha office romance and both paige and cole are like shut up!! and like. again. cole is kinda only doing this because he wants someone to look at him like how phoebe did. look at him like a hero like a genuinely good man. and paige doesn't look at him like that. she sees him as he is, a kinda bad person maybe just mediocre trying really really hard to be good like does he really want someone to see all the milage? someone to know how hard he has to work? no. he just wants to be the white knight the angel. that's what he wants.) the point is maybe they have like that cheap office champagne or something happy holidays and cole offers to get paige a glass and she's like no i don't drink and cole is like oh i didn't know and paige is like haha yeah i mean it's not something i talk about a lot i have kinda a drinking problem in the past did some things i'm really not proud of you know and cole is just kinda like. like the other shoe drops the lightbulb flicks on. because he always assumed paige was just always a good person. but as they get closer and cole finds out more about paige's past he learns that she wasn't always like this like she has done some awful shit too!! she wakes up every morning and chooses to be good. like him. it's not something you're born into. he thought you had to be born good and he could fake it and try to fit in and like put it up as an act but that's all it'd ever be an act to receive love but knowing that it's a choice for everyone. that no matter how you're born, you have to wake up and choose to be good every day. like. that's what he's doing. is he good?

and then we're like teetering on the edge of a paige/cole relationship but they have like a really solid friendship and if they cross that line there's no coming back and they're like coworkers you know so neither of them have the nads to make that jump even tho their friends are like do it do it do it And Then. prue dies. paige becomes a charmed one. what? she steals the book. she's reading it at work. she hits the page phoebe made solely dedicate to cole's human side, with the belthazor page right next to it. what the fuck?? busts her way into cole's office and slams the book down on his desk like this you?? and cole's like you're a charmed one?? and paige is like um hello you're a demon???? that's clearly the bigger reveal here??????? they like. have to like take a solid hour to clear the air because like. cole's gotta come clean paige is like did you try to kill my sister?? and cole's like okay origin story time. and it's funny because it's like. insanely close to like what paige thought was his origin story the only difference is instead of his really rich and pretentious douchebag family being metaphorical demons, they're just literal demons. but she still doesn't know how she feels about that. but um here's piper and phoebe like where's the fucking book!??!?!? paige !!?!?!?!? and spot cole and at like kill kill kill piper freezes the room and them immediately tries to blow him up but paige gets in front of him and orbs him out, dodging piper's blast and like time resumes because piper's powers r still on the fritz and cole just sees his filing cabinet up in flames, his ex girlfriend, and paige's hand still on his chest and is like oh boy.

Vegas: Remastered (Chapter I)

Series: Vegas

Note: y’all asked for it, and here it is!! here’s the first part of vegas rewritten w/o the smut. enjoy. (pls lemme know what you think i thrive off of your validation ty)

Word Count: 2312

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: mentions and implications of sex, making out but nothing further

Summary: Reader hasn’t had the best luck regarding her sex life. Daveed offers to help fix that. Will a one time thing evolve into something more?

“Woah woah woah, hold up. Are you serious?” Oak’s jaw hangs wide open. “A guy’s never made you come before?” 

“Nope,” you affirm in a casual tone while you scroll through your Twitter mentions.

It’s minutes before the second show of the day and you, Oak, Anthony, and Jasmine are all talking and hanging out in Oak’s dressing room; the topics of your mini discussions have transitioned from whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza to somehow now the details on your sex life. You are not quite sure as to how or why the conversation has evolved into that, but it happened.

“Ever?” Anthony presses, disbelief clouded all over his face.

“Never ever.” You confirm, nonchalance oozing from your voice. You do a double-take as you glance up from your phone to see three pairs of eyes on you. “What?”

“Girl, what men have you been with? They obviously don’t know what they’re doing. Do you ever tell them what they’re doing wrong?” Asks Jasmine who is now beginning to pull on her shoes.

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders. “I used to. I gave up after a while because it never worked, so I decided to just start faking it.”

“And they never notice that you’re faking?” Oak quirks an eyebrow at you. You can tell from his tone that he doesn’t believe you.

“Nah,” You state, letting a smirk pull at your lips. “Guys, I’m an amazing actress. Y’all should know this by now.”

Your comment earns an eye roll from everyone in the room.

You chuckle before continuing. “I’m joking, but anyway,” you lick your lips, leaning back in your chair, “it doesn’t even matter that much anymore because I haven’t been with a guy in, like, a really long time.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know… six months, at least.” You roll your eyes, wondering why exactly this is the topic of discussion. “Why are we—”

“There’s no way you’re telling the truth. Faking it every time just doesn’t seem legit. It’s not… that’s not humane.” Oak states, crossing his arms.

Anthony nods, agreeing with Oak when he sees a flash of white clothing pass by the open doorway. “Yo, Diggs!” He calls out. “Bruh, come in here right quick.”

You let out a groan. Firstly, you don’t want this getting spread around to the whole cast, and second and most importantly, you don’t want to talk about this in front of Daveed. Although you’ve hung out with him more than a few times, you still don’t know him well enough to consider him a close friend like you do with the rest of the cast. Part of it is because you don’t talk to him too often, but the other (larger) part of it is that you find him extremely attractive — intimidatingly so.

“What’s up?” Daveed asks as he steps into the dressing room, leaning on the doorway. He is fully dressed in his costume for the opening act. He looks around the room as he puts his hair up into a bun, his eyes settling on you for a moment before he looks at Oak.

“Tell us if Y/N’s lying.” Oak says.

“About what?” He asks, raising an eyebrow as he glances in your direction again.

You force yourself to evade eye contact with Daveed by glaring in Oak’s direction instead. Oak ignores your death stare as he begins to fill Daveed in with the news he has just found out.

When Oak finishes, Daveed turns to you with wide eyes, and you finally allow yourself to look at him. “Wait, so you always have to fake an orgasm whenever you get laid?”

He’s so blunt with it.

“I mean… yeah.” You sigh, looking down at your phone again so you don’t have to look at Daveed. “I don’t see why you guys think it’s such a big deal. It’s really not. How did we even get to talking about this? Don’t you guys have better things to do than ask me about my sex life?”

“You’ve never been with a guy who could get you off?” Daveed asks, ignoring your attempted evasion.

“No.” You answer, slightly gritting your teeth. You don’t dare look up at him in fear of him seeing how awkward you feel.

“That’s fucked up. I’m sorry, Y/N, but that’s fucked up.” Daveed says, making you roll your eyes once again.

“Yeah yeah, look, can we please just drop it? This is none of y’all’s concern. I should have never said anything.” You say, getting up from your seat, still aware of Daveed’s burning gaze on you. “C’mon, let’s go. They just called places.”

“Y/N’s right.” Jazzy states, getting up from her chair as well. “We’re late.”

The rest of the show goes by quickly, which you are grateful for, but you can’t help but still be angry at the events that happened before the show. You’re mad at yourself for mentioning anything to your friends. The last thing you had wanted was for someone like Daveed to know… and that’s exactly what ended up happening.

You’re finished changing back into your street clothes and are getting ready to pack up your stuff to head home when you hear a soft knock on your dressing room door.

“You can come in!” You call out.

You hear the door open and a few beats later, a familiar deep voice sounds out from behind you. 

“Hey,” Daveed says as he steps into the room. He’s wearing a gray OAKLANDISH hoodie and a pair of dark washed jeans.

You stall for a moment and take a quiet, deep breath before you respond.

“Hey.” You throw over your shoulder, putting your laptop into your bag. “What’s up? Need something?”

Daveed walks towards you until he’s about two feet away. “I,” he leans on the wall next to you, “don’t think it’s fair that you’ve never had a good lay.”

You outwardly sigh, zipping up your backpack. “Diggs, I didn’t ask for your opinion on my sex life.”

“Hey, it’s the truth!” He puts his hands up in mock surrender.

A nervous laugh escapes your lips and you cover it by shaking your head. “Okay, so…” You finally turn to look at him, subconsciously licking your lips. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

His eyebrows raise up in surprise and you’re speaking again before he can get the wrong idea.

“I mean,” you turn to slip the strap of your backpack over your shoulder before turning back to look at him. “What are you getting at, Diggs? You come in here just to make fun of me or something?”

Daveed’s eyebrows knit together as he shakes his head. “Nah, I…” He crosses his arms before he continues. “I came in here because I think I can help you.”

You still think he’s joking for a second, but the serious expression on his face says otherwise.

Now it’s your turn to cross your arms as you’re taken aback. “What?”

Daveed’s mouth pulls up into a smirk as his confidence takes over.

“You need a good lay,” he points to you before pointing at himself, “and I know a guy.”

“You know a guy.” You repeat, shaking your head. You breathe out a laugh and run a hand through your hair (a habit you tend to do when you begin to grow nervous). “Okay. Who?”

“Me.” 

Your stomach lurches at his answer and now you can’t mask the surprised, yet confused expression on your face.

“You?” You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re joking.”

“Hey, I’m serious!” His hand comes up to rub his arm out of habit. “I think I can help solve your problem, if you let me.”

“When did you get so cocky, Diggs?”

He shrugs. “I’m not. Just offering to help out a friend, that’s all.”

“Alright.” You pat his shoulder as you walk past him. “I’m good, thanks. Goodnight, Diggs.”

“Just think about it, Y/N.” He calls out, making you pause in your tracks before you exit the room. “No pressure. I’ll be around.”

You look back at him and realize that he’s not laughing at you. He’s serious about this. The way he’s watching you, his gaze burning into you, tells you he actually wants to ‘help’ you, but there’s still a part of you telling you, no, this is a bad idea.

You sigh, your eyes moving to break eye contact with him. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You groan against Daveed’s mouth as his lips move against yours heatedly. When you pull back to catch your breath, he trails kisses down your jaw and into your neck.

“This is a one time thing.” You pant, clutching onto his shirt. “It doesn’t change anything between us. We’re still friends. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Daveed pulls his shirt over his head to reveal his toned upper body. Before you get the chance to ogle at his abs, he brings your lips back to his in a firm kiss. You exhale shakily when he pulls away again. “We need rules.” Daveed says, his voice low and gravelly.

Your eyes flicker down to his abs before they shoot up to meet his gaze. “Right…” Your faces are close to each other as you converse.

“You gotta tell me what you want. If you like it when I do something, tell me. If you don’t, tell me.” His hands come up your waist to slowly drag your shirt up and off your body. “Be honest with me.” He kisses you again, making your eyes flutter shut, but he pulls away before you can completely melt into it. “Guide me. I’m here to help you.”

Right now you just want him, but you’re sure that is obvious from how entranced you are. He’s like a drug, sending you to a high you’ve never felt before.

“That goes both ways, Diggs.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. You feel like you can barely speak with Daveed’s warm hands leaving trails of fire in their wake as they move down your waist. “Next.”

“No faking anything.” His voice is right next to your ear and it sends shivers down your spine. Daveed gently pushes you down onto the bed. “No fake sounds, orgasms, nothing.” He climbs on top of you, using an arm to prop himself up. “If you do, I’ll know about it, trust me.”

“Got it.” This time you reach up to kiss him, wrapping an arm around his neck to bring him closer to you. Your other hand trails down his chest and towards his abs.

You pull away panting before you speak again. “This stays between us, Diggs. Nobody else has to know about this.”

“Agreed.” He hums from above you. “Anything else?”

“Safe word.” Your breath hitches when his mouth hits your sweet spot on your neck. “We need one.”

“You choose.” He murmurs against you.

You rack your brain for an answer as it short circuits for a second.

“Vegas.” You breathe, causing him to pull back and look down at you.

“Vegas?”

“You know,” you try to gather your thoughts. “You know, like… Sin City? Las Vegas?”

Your explanation causes Daveed to grin as he begins to suavely slide your jeans down your legs. When they’re off, he smirks before he kisses you again.

“I like it.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

“Leaving so soon?” Daveed lays under the covers with his head propped in his hand. He watches you get up to pick your discarded clothes up off the floor.

“Yeah,” you reply with a sigh. Feeling a bit sore, you pull on your clothing, little by little. Daveed smirks, pleased with himself that he has that effect on you. “I gotta get back home to take Riley out. Plus, we have early rehearsal tomorrow morning, so…”

Daveed quirks an eyebrow as he sits up to put his boxers back on. “Riley?”

You turn to look at him. “My dog? My pride and joy? My only true love? The only reason why I’m not alone in my apartment?”

“Oooh, right.” He nods, standing up to pull on a pair of sweatpants. “The infamous German Shepherd puppy that the rest of the cast fell in love with.”

“She’s not really a puppy anymore; she’s grown like double the size she was last month, it’s crazy.”

“How come I didn’t get to meet her?”

You shrug, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I don’t know. I think you were out sick or on vacation when Lin let me bring her to work one day.”

You continue to get dressed and gather up the rest of your belongings around the apartment and Daveed follows, helping you out. He grabs your jacket off the floor and helps you put it on before you pick up your bag and walk towards the front door.

“You know…” His arm comes up above your head to hold the doorway so he can cage you in and tower over you. “I’m kinda not wanting this to be a one time thing anymore. I mean… It doesn’t have to be.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know, Diggs… I mean, I’ll admit it, you were good. You were able to make me come—”

“Twice.”

“—but don’t you think it could get messy with the show and our friends and everything?”

“Nah,” he shakes his head. “We’re just two friends having casual sex. Not a big deal. We’re not planning on telling them anyway.”

You’re quiet as you think about it.

“We don’t even have to label it or anything.” He continues. “Just holler at me when you feel like it and I’ll do the same.”

“I’ll think about it.” You say, but you both know what that means now.

He grins at you, leaning in slightly closer.

“Think about it and get back to me.”

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG [SPOILERS EDITION] // CHAPTER 16

WARNING: THE SPOILERS EDITION INCLUDES SPOILERS FROM THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF OFFAL HUNT AND GIVES AWAY PLOT IMPORTANT DETAILS NOT YET COVERED IN THE REMASTER. IF YOU ARE A NEW READER TO OFFAL HUNT, DO NOT READ THIS VERSION!

requested by diesel, supported by kc. why am i still here, just to suffer.

firstly: both chapters 15 and 16 touch on cinder’s grimm blood SO MUCH and it’s fucking bonkers how much of it she gets away with glynda “dumbass” goodwitch MISINTERPRETING as her being a faunus, and it hurts me as a reader because I MYSELF am aware of something that cinder IS VERY AWARE OF and watching glynda dodge the truth by a spare MILIMETER is killing me. GLYNDA OPEN YR EYES. GL Y N D A

also, im gonna try and cover all the places i 👈😎👈'd in in the chapter 16 liveblog so hold tight whilst i find all fifty fuckin billion of em

okay so THIS ONE... also ties into what i said BUT ‘shearing parts of their own bodies in a desperate break for freedom’ rly Whacked me over the head because it rly makes me think of when cinder saw lamia in the og version and how she was so soft and human and she was leaning into it SO hard... and we’ve covered this in an earlier chapter in which cinder acknowledges shes being Too Human (what with the dressing up and such) but the fact that shes still. TOO human. trying so hard to fit into her Other Life away from her momma what w/ em and merc and everything and im like woof. glynda. too close 2 home. TOO CLOSE,

also ‘whats sadder than this’? a disappointed mom. u know it,

we had the gay bit where i ceased to fucking exist as a queer and gay because hohoho cinder’s bobbies etc but aLSO

im thinking of the pasta scene. do we remember the pasta scene? i remember the pasta scene. i am thinking of the pasta scene, and i choose to forget,

/claps me little hands

this happened in chapter 15 too w/ a BILLION references to volcanoes but GOD GLYNDA JUST. SHE GETS. SO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH.

SHE SNIFFS THE TRUTH DIRECTLY AND THEN JUST. TURNS AROUND??? GLYNDA COME BACK YOU HAD IT. YOU HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and also the reminder that cinder was one of several attempts that didnt make it, made all the more agonising to know it TOOK A WHILE TOO. ugh the relationship between cinder and her mom and what cinder feels she owes versus how much lamia loves her fucking. it is easily the most tragic part of this whole fic and im not ready to see it happen again. never before have i felt such empathy for the Bad Guy and i can feel it coming. its approaching and im scared.

this post must SUCK on tumblr mobile none of these images will load but im being lazy JKGHDSFGSFD

knowing that glynda is communicating these deep-seated fears of wanting to Be More and cinder knows. KNOWS she is ACTIVELY in this MOMENT trying to take that away from her??? to BECOME glyndas greatest fear??? to leave her nothing but this hollowed shell of nothing????????? glyndas done SO MUCH the be the hero and the good guy because thats what she felt her life was and cinders trying to abuse that to make her the tool of the end of the world and cinder can. SHE CAN FEEL IT. in that instant she has to face being glyndas greatest nightmare and like. fuck. thats SOMETHING huh. IM GOING MENTAL.

“What is your destiny?” Glynda asked, feeling bolder than before.

The fingers brushing hair behind Glynda’s ear stalled. Cinder’s palm laid warm against Glynda’s high, sharp cheekbone. Something stuttered and then leapt between them, and Glynda’s face went hot when Cinder whispered, “You.”

“Me?”

“We were born in the same year. You couldn’t have known that—that we’re the same age.” Cinder paused and withdrew her hand, tucking it against her own chest. “But my mother felt it. I always knew.”

Glynda didn’t begin to know how to respond.

“We were born in the same year,” Cinder repeated, almost as if to remind herself, like swearing an oath. “We’ve always been each other’s destiny.”

“I always thought it was my destiny to die,” Glynda finally admitted. “Just like my mothers.”

“No,” Cinder said, distantly. “No, it isn’t.”

okay this is. the bit. The Bit. sit down a sec whilst i try and sort this out in my brainmeat. like ive actually paused my music this is how serious i am.

this section epitomises the plot of the fic. such like lamia and the witch soul, glynda and cinder are soulmates, but the enemies edition. and this plot -- the arc of offal hunt -- isnt just an enemies to lover slowburn, but how these two redirect the very forces of fate to become the very thing that could not have been, right? born in the same year, destined to battle each other out, the fight of the witch and the Witch, destined to be bound in blood and fire.

and they ARE. and theyre also NOT. because they DO make it their destiny... but in THEIR way. this story ends how it SHOULD -- with them locked in great battle -- but ends how they WANT, being together, bound forever.

and cinder’s last line really does it because in some sense glynda WONT die in the machine, of course. its built off her living... functionally forever, in a sense? but what cinder says is TRUE also with the END because glynda dies... and then DOESNT. SHE JUST DOESNT. SHE JUST SHRUGS THAT SHIT RIGHT OFF.

the story subverts destiny BY FOLLOWING THEIR DESTINY EXACTLY. BUT IN THEIR WAY. THEIR PATH. and thats why this bit HURTS because if we took this in bad faith cinder means ‘yr destiny is not to die (but be used forever to fuel endless suffering)’. but we know as Veterans -- even if cinder probably literally doesnt -- that shes right. glyndas destiny isnt to die. its to be exactly where she belongs.

WHAT IS THIS POETIC CINEMA. I HATE IT.

this final segment was me realising that of course, betrayal is forecasted. this chapter is so soft and tender and paves the way for the ‘--to lovers’ part of this story, but glynda is going to realise that cinders being lying to her this whole time, and when that happens this part of this fic is literally going to be marred by that, u kno? but for now. for not. im gonna enjoy it as is. just a moment of bed sharing and secrets, and also cinders bobbies.

The Truth Is Rarely Pure And Never Simple

A/N1: This is essentially like a remaster of my series Rumours that I wrote about two years ago but never completed. However, all this time, the idea to finally finish it was always somewhere in the back of my head. So yeah, the time has finally come.

NCT x EXO x BTS x Reader

Summary: Every rumor starts for a reason and a chance encounter at the bar one night might finally bring you to the source of it. But can you handle the truth?

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, suggestive

Warnings: Violence, illegal activities, strong language, torture, mentions of drugs, suggestive content

Word Count: 6,000 yes actually exactly 6k, interesting...

You closed your eyes, humming to the calm music in the background. You put your finger on the edge of the glass circling around it, the sound that came out made you chuckle. You were always impressed by people who could create music this way. You opened your eyes and took a sip of the drink and immediately frowned. It was bitter. Some days you wonder why you even bother drinking stuff like this but this time you just sighed. You preferred the drink better this way rather than sweet and took another sip.

You disliked this place, yet you always came back here. It was a good way to spend the evening, rather than staying home alone. After all you don’t really have any friends as most people you know are simply scared of you. You don’t know how it started but you were aware that some rumours are spreading about you. Not that you care but it’s annoying. Most of the time it happens because people are jealous. You were at the top of your course, rich enough to not work and lived alone. You didn’t like sharing information about yourself and so, it’s kind of obvious they started speculating where you got all this money from.

“It’s none of their business,” you thought, ignoring the rumours and putting up a face, distancing yourself from everyone else even more. It’s better this way, other people are just a burden, you can’t trust anyone but yourself.

“What is a lovely girl like you doing here all alone?” you heard somebody ask behind you. He plopped on the stool near you and you turned to face him.

“Do you say that to every girl you meet?” you asked, resting your chin on your hand. “Because that’s a pretty cheesy line to start a conversation,” you said, eyeing him up and down.

The man was handsome to say the least, he had short chestnut coloured hair and was wearing a grey sweater with black ripped jeans and brown combat boots. Your eyes met his dark ones and you immediately sense that he is not some kind of ordinary guy, your hunch was almost always right and that meant trouble for you again. But… But! For some reason you were interested, he captivated you somehow and you decided to just roll with it.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

“You already did, didn’t you?” you said as you turned around on your chair to face the bar again.

He wasn’t expecting that kind of answer and you could tell he was hesitant to speak again.

“Truth be told, I was thinking all evening what to say to you but when I approached you all the clever words just escaped my mind.”

“How cute,” you replied, trying not to sound sassy. But to your surprise he just laughed.

“So, can I buy you a drink?” he asked and without waiting for your answer ordered them. He got off the stool and leaned on the counter, closer to you.

“W-what?” you stuttered, startled by his sudden proximity.

“What are you doing here alone?” he repeated his question from before. This time however you noticed how for a split second his look became really serious. Usually at this point you would just tell the guy to beat it but he had this presence around him that you just couldn’t fight, urging you to answer him instead.

“Can’t a girl get a drink?” you scoffed and he chuckled.

“On her own? I guess she can…” he said and chugged down his drink in one go.

Somehow after this the atmosphere became less tense and after a few more drinks you actually relaxed and started talking to him about all kind of different things. Spending time with him felt oddly familiar and before you realized it you were already getting tipsy.

“Enough,” you said, setting the glass down and sliding of the stool.

“Should I call you a taxi?” he asked.

“No thanks. After a night out, I prefer walking.”

“Can I take you home then?”

You turned to look at him. What’s with the sudden question? You didn’t want him to know where you live, what if he, despite being a nice guy, ends up as some kind of creeper. But somehow you were still keen to do it. You decided to give it a shot and just ditch him if anything came up.

“I guess you can. But first, I need to go to the ladies’ room,” you said, leaving him behind. You quickly washed your face to sober up a bit and looked at yourself in the mirror. What the hell are you doing? Since when did you become so trusting? You sighed and checked your thigh, the holster with your knife was still there. It was like a habit to take it with you everywhere, you hoped you won’t need to use it tonight.

You went out and to your surprise he was waiting for you besides the bathroom.

“I actually thought you were going to run away through the back window or something,” he chuckled. “Typical you-“ he started but immediately shut up before he could finish. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Typical? How many girls have done that to you?” you laughed, and he smiled at you.

“Just one,” he said, helping you put on your coat. “It’s getting cold, isn’t it?” he asked, watching the first snow cover the ground outside the bar.

“Right!” you agreed. “So, let���s not stand around any longer or we will freeze to death,” you said, turning towards the direction of your house. You knew this part of the city like the back of your hand so your turned corners and alleys to reach your destination faster. You could you see on his face that he was surprised how good you are at manoeuvring around the city and you just laughed.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No never mind,” he shook his head. “I was just thinking how easy it is to get lost in this city.”

“Really? I guess if you’re not local it might seem that way,” you wondered out loud. “Are you not?”

“Local? Until recently I wasn’t. I actually came back after a long time,” he looked at you. “I missed it.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, turning another corner. “Then why did you leave?” you asked him but he didn’t answer. “I said-“ you started repeating, when he all of a sudden grabbed you by your arm and pulled you closer to him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you struggled against his hold, trying to get out. You followed his gaze and halted immediately. There were two male figures standing by the park gate. Muggers? The two men pushed themselves off the gate and headed in your direction. You took a step back.

“Taeyongie! We know it’s you!” the taller one of the men shouted.

“What the fuck?” you turned to Taeyong, his face stone cold now.

“What are you doing in our territory?” the other man asked.

“Since when is this your territory?” Taeyong replied.

“Since when we took it back.”

“What are you all blabbing about. Are you guys high or something?” you stepped in finally free from Taeyong’s grasp.

“Oh, you have a brave one there!”

“Shut up, Chanyeol.”

You glanced between Taeyong and the other two. So, they know each other, and your hunch was right, you could practically smell trouble.

“Well you can deal with your shit on your own, I want no part in this” you stated and approached the men, trying to get pass them and just finally go home. As you stepped under one of the street lights you saw how the one called Chanyeol froze in his tracks.

“It’s you!” he exclaimed

You didn’t even have time to react as the other guy quickly came up to you, seizing you by your shoulders, dragging you back in the direction you came from. He stopped midway and grabbed your thigh.

“I will take this,” he said, pulling your knife out from under your dress. “Knew you would have one,” he smirked

“How did you-” you wanted to ask but were interrupted.

“Where did you find her, Taeyong?” Chanyeol inquired.

“Let Y/N go Baekhyun, she has nothing to do with this.”

You were now caught up in the middle of the argument. You checked around to see any escape routes but Baekhyun’s grip on you was too strong to evade.

“Oh I think she does, you are not the type to trespass if nothing is going on,” Chanyeol continued.

To your surprise, Taeyong pulled a knife out of his jacket pocket.

“Ready to fight? So, something really must up. Hold her,” Baekhyun passed you over to Chanyeol.

“Are you really in a good shape to fight? Let me do it, it will be just like in the good old days,” Chanyeol said as a smug grin spread on his face.

“Nah, I’m good,” Baekhyun replied taking his jacket off and getting into a fighting stance.

“Hey!” a voice came from behind you. You glanced back and saw another guy standing at the entrance of the park.

“What is it this time?” you whined. “Where do you guys keep coming from?”

“Oh shit, it’s Yoongi!” Chanyeol said and you felt his grip loosen and tried this opportunity to escape but he quickly grabbed you again.

“Not so fast darling. Baekhyun, what do we do?” he turned to Baekhyun who now had Taeyong down on the ground. When did that happen? You saw Taeyong looking at you with worried eyes.

“We talk,” Baekhyun replied.

“What’s going on over here?” the one called Yoongi asked, getting closer.

“Just some friendly chit chat.”

“Doesn’t look like that to me.”

“It’s not can’t-“ but Chanyeol shushed you, covering your mouth with his hand.

“I think you are in the wrong part of the city, am I right?” Yoongi stated, raising his brow up.

“Are we now?” Baekhyun replied. “I thought we agreed this is a neutral territory now.”

“I never agreed to that. Besides that, meeting was 2 weeks ago, times change.”

“Well we wouldn’t like to start any trouble now, would we?” Chanyeol chimed in.

“I think you already have,” Yoongi said, staring at you. “Why do you have her?”

Great. It seems everybody knows who you are but you still have no fucking clue what’s going on.

“She’s our responsibility,” Chanyeol told him.

“Is she now?” Yoongi asked. “Then you didn’t take care of her enough if the whole city’s gangs are looking for her.”

They what now?

“I think you should go,” Yoongi said after a brief silence.

“Maybe we will,” Baekhyun replied picking Taeyong up, your eyes meeting his as Baekhyun shoved him in the direction of sleek black car. Chanyeol grabbed you by the arm and started walking towards the car as well.

“What do you think you’re doing? I have no intentions of coming with you.” you quickly stated.

“You heard the lady,” Yoongi said.

You saw how Chanyeol and Baekhyun glanced at each other, seemingly communicating only with their eyes. Baekhyun nooded and Chanyeol let you go.

“Suit yourself,” he said and as he pushed you away from himself, you tripped on your own legs and fell down on the ground. You just sat there on the pavement wondering what the heck happened as Chanyeol got behind the car’s wheel and drove away.

“You good?” Yoongi asked, giving you his hand.

“Yes,” you replied harshly, smacking his hand away and standing up.

“Okay then.”

You two just stared at each other, now you could see that he was dressed pretty casually, he had a leather jacket, plain shirt and suspenders on and you could swear that you met him before.

“Where do you know me from?” you finally asked.

“I don’t.”

“It didn’t sound to me like you were bluffing.”

“Maybe I’m really good at it or maybe you should mind your own business.”

“If it concerns me then it is my business!”

Yoongi sighed and fell silent. You didn’t feel like talking to him anymore either, so you turned around and headed towards the park. You stopped at the gate to look back at the man, you now realise, had actually saved you.

“Thank you,” you said unwillingly. You hadn’t said these words sincerely in a long time.

“What? I didn’t hear you!” Yoongi shouted.

“I said thank you, you idiot!”

Another silence. You stood there waiting.

“Just gonna leave me hanging like that? I said I was thankful.”

“Yeah, I heard you.” you saw a small smile appear on his lips. “No problem.”

You turned on your heels and quickly went into the park. It’s just a short distance to your house from here. As soon as you get back home, you will call the police. “That’s so messed up. I better get out of here quick!” you thought practically running now. Who are those people? What happened to Taeyong? Even better! That smartass took your knife! It was one of your favourite too! Suddenly you stopped in your tracks realizing something.

“You never told Taeyong your name.”

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Yoongi’s POV

I watched her disappear behind the trees.

“No problem… Yet,” I thought.

I took out my phone and quickly scrolled through my contact list, stopping on one number. He picked up after a few beeps.

“She’s heading your way. I ran into some trouble, so I wasn’t able to stall her longer. Finish whatever you guys are doing and get out,” I ordered and hung up.

I gazed at the night sky and yawned.

“Now then. It’s time to take care of a few more things.”

▲▼▲▼▲ 

Your POV

The realization sent shivers down your spine. If you never told him, then how did he know it? He’s not some ordinary guy after all, is he? You shook your head and walked with a quicker pace than usual, this night turned out troublesome as it is and even now when you were on your doorstep you couldn’t shake off the feeling that somebody was watching you. You unlocked the door and looked around one last time before turning the knob. But you were hesitant to come in. You glanced down at your hand and realized that it’s trembling. You took a few deep breaths. It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s just your imagination.

“Boss?” you called the stray cat, that came to visit you from time to time, as you walked in. You could really use his company right now.

You turned on the lights and stood for a moment besides the door. Everything was as it should be. Maybe you’re just becoming paranoid. It’s not like you to get scared. You noticed that the glass door to the backyard was open. Probably forgot to close it before you went out.

“Boss?” you called the cat again, hoping he will come out of the dark. Nothing. You closed and locked the door before climbing up the stairs that led to the second floor and headed to your bedroom.

You rubbed your eyes not caring about the makeup. You searched around for your phone but couldn’t find it.

“Maybe it’s in one of the bags in the closet? Did I even bring it back from the bar?” you wondered, taking your dress off and throwing it on the bed. You came up to closet and slid the door open.

You just stood there, staring, arms stretched across the opening. You blinked a few times. It can’t be. There was a pair of eyes staring right back at you.

You were about to shout when the guy quickly grabbed you, putting his hand on your mouth and securing your arms behind your back.

“No no no no no, don’t misunderstand please!” he quickly blurted out. “I swear I wasn’t peeking! I’m not a pervert!” he started explaining himself.

“Is he seriously concerned about that when he’s already got you pressed up against his body half naked?” you thought, trying to get a peek of his face as you struggled in his grip. “What the heck is he doing in your house? Is he a robber? Murderer?” hundreds of questions came rushing through your head.

“Taehyung, what the hell are you shouting for, we should hurry up, she can come back any minute,” another guy walked into the room and froze at the sight. “The fuck-?”

Great he’s not alone.

“Noo Hoseok! I swear it’s not what this looks like I wasn’t trying to do anything.”

“Are you an idiot? Why didn’t you knock her out if she found you!”

The man called Taehyung looked down at you with a confused expression when realization hit him.

“Oh, shit it’s her isn’t it!? Hoseok what do I do?” he started panicking, not knowing if he should let you go or continue to hold you.

“Could you both stop your yapping and gather your things already-“ another guy came into the room, his eyes widening. “Well damn, Taehyung, getting straight to business I see!”

Where the hell do they all keep coming from?

“That’s a nasty scar you have there,” the one who just entered the room, walked up to you, tracing the scar with his fingers that started just below your left shoulder and went across your chest. You would have kicked him but he noticed what you were trying to do and evaded your move with ease.

“Feisty, I like that,” he smirked.

“Jimin, not now we need to figure out what to do!” Hoseok said. “I’m going to make a call, don’t try anything until I come back,” he ordered, leaving you three on your own.

“I say we take her,” Jimin suggested as soon as Hoseok went out.

“Like hell you are!” biting down on Taehyung’s fingers and elbowing him in the stomach. You jumped away from both of them and grabbed for your knife. “Fuck,” you hissed, remembering that the idiot from before took it.

“What now?” Jimin asked you. “You’re quite outnumbered.”

You got into a fighting stance. You haven’t sparred in a long time but you can’t forget a skill once you learn it.

“Guess this will have to go the hard way,” he said pulling his gun out when something hit you hard across the head, you fell to the ground and saw Taehyung holding a baseball. Your mind was going blank, but you could still hear voices.

“Are you crazy?! Were you about to shoot her?!” Taehyung shouted.

“And how is knocking her out better?!” you heard Jimin reply before you passed out.

▲▼▲▼▲

You shoved everything away from the table and screamed.

“Y/N! Calm down! Don’t do anything rash!”

But you were already on your knees going through all the drawers looking for that damn box.

“Calm down?! Calm down??!! She’s fucking dead!” you shouted, tears already starting to stream down your face. “They… They…”

“Y/N…” he approached you.

“Stay back!” you immediately stood up, picking up a glass shard from the photo frames you smashed before. “For all I know you were part of it! You work for my father after all!”

“EXO maybe but you, more than anyone should know that we’re loyal to you and you only.”

You bit down on your lip, blood dripping down your palm and threw the shard away, burying your face in your hands. He embraced you tightly until your body stopped shaking. He was warm.

▲▼▲▼▲

Your POV

You woke up a few hours later and your head hurt like hell, but you knew, that wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.

You slowly opened your eyes, adjusting to the light. You wanted to touch the bump on your head, but your arms were tied behind your back and your legs to the chair. Any move just etched the ropes further into your skin, making you wince. You looked down and saw that now you were wearing an oversized t-shirt, probably one of theirs, at least that’s good, you hated seeing your scar.

“I don’t understand him at first he told us to get out and then he said to take her with us,” Taehyung spoke, when he saw you moving.

“Well we would have taken her sooner or later but-” Jimin stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Taehyung looking at you. “Well well well, look who finally decided to wake up and here I thought Taehyung hit you too hard.”

He came up to you and turned the light on above your head.

“Rock, paper, scissors who gets to do it?” he asked.

“You can go ahead, we started out on bad terms, there is no way I’m hitting her now,” Taehyung responded, and you tensed up at his statement.

“No need to get scared. Yet. You see unlike a certain individual,” he snickered glancing back at Taehyung. “All of us are gentlemen,” he continued. “We even gave you something to get dressed in.”

You just rolled your eyes.

“Yeah right. Do all gentlemen knock out and then kidnap women?” you retorted.

“Still have some fight in you I see. Well if we want this to go as smoothly as possible we have to establish a few rules,” he said, leaning closer. “Number one: I ask a question - you answer, simple enough,” he smirked. “Number two: If you don’t answer, you get punished, understand?”

You looked at him, you knew he wanted an answer, but you were not going to give it to him.

“This was a question, you were supposed to answer but I will forgive you just this time,” he smiled clearly annoyed. “Anyway, let’s begin.”

He took a few steps back and stared at you intently, thinking where to start.

“Do you know who we are?”

“No,” you replied, glaring back at him.

“Okay, great. Do you know where you are?”

“No.”

“We are doing pretty good so far, so where are the drugs?” you were caught off guard by his question.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That’s a bad answer,” he said slapping you hard across the face. “Let me try this again so you would understand, where did you hide the drugs?”

You decided not to answer. There was no point. Even if you tell him the truth he won’t believe you, they clearly got you mixed up with someone, so you stayed silent and were rewarded with another slap. He pulled you by the hair, so your eyes would meet his.

“I forgot to mention another rule, you look at me when I speak with you,” and you smiled to him.

“Fuck you.”

“Gosh that’s so god damn sexy but rule number four, you don’t speak if you’re not asked to,” he smirked, and this time hit you in the stomach. “Behave, dear.”

You opened your mouth to protest, that you can’t go making up new rules when you already stated them in the beginning but kept quiet instead.

“Did you want to say something, dear?” Jimin teased. “How about you hurry up and just tell me the truth?”

And that stupid question was asked seemingly thousands of times, but you stayed silent and after a few hours he was running out of patience.

“Geez don’t you care about your looks at all because you look horrible by now. What do I have to do so you wouldn’t be so fucking stubborn? It’s getting on my nerves!” you spit out some blood and smiled at him once again, you’re not giving in when you don’t even know what the heck he’s talking about.

“I say we get this over with,” another voice spoke from the darkness. You didn’t even know there was another person in the room the whole time.

“This will make her talk,” the guy went to the table where Taehyung was standing and picked something up and before he could stop him, came up to you and shoved a knife through your leg. You screamed out in pain but then quickly bit down on your lip, drawing blood. You won’t cry, you won’t shout, you can’t show them any sign of weakness, you stared at your leg for a few seconds, blood coming out of it. You focused and mustered up the deadliest glare you could manage and looked up at the person who dared do this to you.

“J-Jungkook?” you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Y/N?” he quickly withdrew his hand away from the knife.

“Jungkook, you piece of shit, we were told many times over not to use any tools or do anything drastic when it comes to her, if we get in trouble because of you!..” Taehyung grabbed him by the collar, but he was too shocked to care.

“Shit Tae, I think they know each other, take him out of here,” Jimin ordered and as soon as they were gone he crouched down in front of you.

“Okay, well shit, this is going to hurt like hell,” he said grabbing the knife’s handle. If he wasn’t the person who was torturing just a few minutes ago, you would have thought he was actually worried. He pulled the knife in one go and immediately started bandaging the leg. The blood was gushing out of it without stopping.

“Oh fuck, this is bleeding too much, he probably hit an artery or something,” but you already had trouble registering what he was saying.

“Hey hey hey, stay with me,” he said gently patting your cheek. He put his fingers on your neck and checked your pulse.

“Fuck he really did it this time,” he cursed. “Don’t you dare pass out on me, I’m going to get you some help!” he said standing up and running to the door. “Jiiiiin!” he shouted.

You watched as the last person your consciousness was still holding onto left the room. You felt weak and numb and couldn’t think anymore. Sleep seemed like the only solution to ease the pain. Deep down in your head you heard a voice telling you not to do it, but the temptation was too strong, so closed your eyes not knowing if you will ever open them again.

▲▼▲▼▲

Taeyong’s POV

The ride was awfully quiet. It didn’t surprise me though. We had nothing to talk about. Why did they even take me in the first place?

“Where are we going?” I finally asked them, breaking the silence.

“To HQ,” Baekhyun replied.

“Why?”

“So, we could find out what’s the real reason you came back.”

I sighed and crossed my arms. This was the least important thing right now. If we’re going there, we should have at least taken her with us, instead of leaving her with Yoongi out of all people.

“You shouldn’t have left her there… It would have been better if you at least escorted her back home,” I voiced my thought out loud.

“She can’t be seen with us, besides she would have never gone with either of us anyway,” Chanyeol was the one to speak now.

“She would have gone with me if you two didn’t interfere!” I complained. Baekhyun turned around in his seat to face me.

“Did you really believe she would be that stupid to show you where she lives? She may have forgotten a lot of things, but certain skills are forever etched in her brain. Why do you think she was carrying this?” he said, showing me the knife he took from her. I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. She’s smart.

“Still… She’s not safe out there. Isn’t BTS after her as well?” I was about to ask when Chanyeol stopped the car out of the blue. I tumbled forward, hitting my face against the seat.

“What the heck!” I hissed.

“She’s with Yoongi,” he said.

“So?” I asked

“Then where were the others?” Baekhyun caught onto what Chanyeol was trying to say.

“Exactly,” he said and started the engine again, he took a sharp left and turned around.

“Where are you going? She obviously won’t be in the park anymore,” I said, rubbing my nose that still hurt from the impact.

“We’re going to her place,” Baekhyun explained.

“You know where she lives?”

“We know a lot about her. Had to keep an eye out.”

I was seriously surprised to hear this, it was not what we agreed to years ago. He seemed to notice my confusion.

“Don’t worry she doesn’t know about us. The only people she really talks to are Kyungsoo and Yukhei anyway,” he said, glancing at me.

Yukhei. Jus hearing his name irritated me. Who the hell does he think he is?

“I preferred if you didn’t mention that traitor when I’m around,” I said, leaning back in my seat.

“Hoho, traitor, that’s a strong word,” Chanyeol mocked.

“I told him to leave but instead he stayed and is now even acquainted with her!?”

I could have gone about this forever, but we have reached her house already. The lights weren’t on. We got out of the car and went to the door. Chanyeol bent down to pick the lock but the front door was slightly open.

“Shit,” he hissed, pushing them open. It was quiet inside and no sign of anyone even being here. As they searched downstairs, I went up and started checking the rooms. Why was she living in such a big house all alone? I went inside one of them which looked like the bedroom. I noticed the dress, she was wearing before, thrown on the bed. So, she was here. The other two came upstairs soon after.

“Nothing,” I told them. “You think they took her?”

“Who else?” Baekhyun was clearly annoyed by now. “You realize this is your fault.”

“How is this my fault? You were the ones who left her!” I shouted and Chanyeol shoved me into the wall.

“Don’t test your luck. You weren’t supposed to be here in the first place, even more contacted her. Of course, it’s your fault!”

I pushed him off and went to the door, taking my phone out.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious that three of us won’t be able to find her alone. I will call the others.”

“Are they back?”

“We all came back.”

“Why?” Baekhyun asked and I threw him a glare.

“You should know this yourself, weren’t you the ones responsible for getting her involved in all of this all over again in the first place?” I retorted and went outside.

▲▼▲▼▲

Yoongi’s POV

I let go of the idiot who was still trying his hardest to survive and kept him in place with my foot, answering the phone.

“What?” I asked Hoseok. “I’m kind of busy here.”

“There was a problem.”

“What!?” I stepped away from the body and took a deep breath in attempt to calm myself down. Lately I have been on edge as it is and this didn’t sound good. “What happened?”

“We had to take her to the hospital,” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did those idiots really managed to screw up so badly when I left them alone for a few hours?

“Who did it? Was it Jimin? Taehyung?” I sighed, already thinking about what I should do with them when I come back.

“It was Jungkook.”

“Are you serious?” I was losing my patience. Nothing made sense to me.

“We think he actually knows her. Well at least she recognized him,” Hoseok continued. “What do we do?”

This was bad, if she knows him, she can find out who we are as well.

“Where is he now?” I asked him.

“In the hospital. He insisted on going with us.”

“Us? Are you all there? Could you make this even more suspicious?”

I heard him sigh. I knew what he was thinking.

“This is a private hospital, no one would even dare think about saying something.”

“Whatever. I will be right there,” I said and hung up. I went back to the body and took my gun out. “Any last words?” I asked him.

“You guys are stupid,” he laughed. “If you hurt her, EXO will be the first to find out.”

“Well you won’t be the one to tell them,” I said as I pulled the trigger. One idiot less in the city.

▲▼▲▼▲

Jimin’s POV

I watched the people go back and fourth down the hall. Some nurses entering the operating theatre every so often. I bit down on my nail. We did it this time…

“Relax, she’s not dying,” Taehyung said as he came in with the cups of coffee. We have been here for two hours and every little thing irritated me to no end.

“I’m sorry, since when did you become the doctor?” I asked him.

“Why are you even so worried? It was Jungkook who did it.”

“Yeah but it will be me who Yoongi is going to kill because I was the one responsible for her!” I shouted and stood up. He lifted his eyebrow and looked at me.

“Yeah right. You were so responsible! Like a parent who sends his child out to school. Is that why you tortured her?”

Low blow. That little shit. little get it? when hes a smol bean himself hahah okay I will stop It could have been him doing that. I blame my stupid brain who never passes up an offer. I will make sure to get him back for this.

“What are you two arguing about now?” Hoseok asked when he came back. “Where is Jungkook?”

“He left,” Taehyung replied quickly.

“I thought I told you to watch him!”

“Oh, come on, he’s a big boy. He can go wherever he wants,” Taehyung teased. Hoseok grabbed him by the collar.

“This is no time for jokes Tae. I think you don’t understand how serious this situation just become,” he hissed. I could tell he was angry. I sight you don’t see every day.

“I will go look for him. He couldn’t have gone far,” I interrupted them before Hoseok started a fight. After all I knew Jungkook didn’t even leave, it was just Taehyung buying time for him. I could see it in his eyes. I thought for a while where he could be and decided to check the roof. To my surprise he was actually there.

“Jungkook!” I shouted but he couldn’t hear me because of the strong wind. I approached him silently and I heard him speaking. At first, I thought he was actually talking to himself until I noticed the phone.

“I didn’t know it was her. What was I supposed to do?” he asked. “Of course, there are not many Y/N out there but it just sort of happened.”

“Who are you talking to?” I asked him immediately.

He was startled by my sudden appearance and quickly put his phone away.

“Ah Jimin!” he leaned on the railing. “I didn’t see you there.”

I grabbed and pulled him to me, so he would look me in the face.

“Jungkook what are you hiding?” I narrowed my eyes.

“I don’t think this is the right time to fight among ourselves, right? I heard NCT came back.”

“How do you know this?”

“A little birdie told me,” he smirked. I let go of him and took a few steps back. If they’re here, they will soon be after her as well. I grabbed him by his jacket sleeve and went downstairs.

“No need to be rough, Jimin,” he said, trying to loosen my grip on him. I stopped abruptly, and he bumped into me.

“Jungkook, do you actually know her?” I asked him. He was awfully suspicious. Hoseok was right about watching him.

“More than all of you obviously,” he chuckled, and I threw him a glare.

“Spit it out!” I told him, and his expression changed to a serious one almost immediately.

“She contacted me herself.”

A/N2: If you want to you can read the original in my masterlist, however because tumblr is being a prick with links, I can’t add them here 🤦

Out of Nowhere (19/21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC Summary: An offhand comment at work draws Jesse Kaplan into the orbit of Bucky Barnes. Bucky’s excited at the prospect of normalcy, but there’s nothing normal about falling in love with the Winter Soldier. Warnings for Part 19: Canon-typical action/violence Words: 2541 A/N: The song for this chapter is “Second Balcony Jump - Rudy Van Gelder Edition/ 1999 Digital Remaster/ 24 Bit Mastering” by Dexter Gordon from Go! (The Rudy Van Gelder Edition). Guys! I just realized that after this there are only TWO MORE PARTS of this story :o Next Friday is the thrilling conclusion! I’m totally shocked... I can’t believe I’ve been posting this story for long enough to get through all its parts in just another week! THANK YOU so so much for reading so far and I hope you can stick through to the end <3 I hope you’re all having a great day, and I hope you enjoy!

PART 19: “SECOND BALCONY JUMP”

Natasha strode right to the interrogation table and unlocked Mike’s cuffs from the ring on its top. His face brightened with sudden hope, but Natasha just dragged him out of the room. He stumbled, his tall frame bowed like an old man’s, and shot an accusatory look at Jesse as they passed by her.

But Jesse couldn’t move. Her whole body was trembling. Twitching fingers, chattering teeth. And Mike thought she should have—could have—done something about him being dragged off by Natasha Romanoff, world’s most overqualified babysitter?

Natasha hadn’t specified, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who they were.

Current Relief.

Were they about to finish what they started when they came after her the last time?

A door in the other room slammed shut, startling Jesse out of her thoughts.

“Jesse, come on,” Natasha ordered.

Jesse crossed her arms over her chest, wrists against her collarbone, and hurried shakily out of the room. The observation window flickered when she glanced at it, and she yelped when she saw Mike through the window. She spun around, but Mike was nowhere to be seen.

“A recording,” Natasha said shortly, stuffing a remote in her belt. She nodded towards the wall next to the stairs up. “And a soundproofed cell. He’ll be fine.”

“W-what’s going on?” Jesse stammered. She dug her fingers into her shoulders.

Natasha jammed a magazine into her pistol. “SHIELD surveillance flagged a suspicious convoy headed this way, and—”

“A convoy?!”

“—further footage indicates that certain passengers are from Current Relief.” Natasha ignored Jesse’s outburst. A murmur came from her comm; her lips tightened. “They’re less than a mile away.”

Natasha’s face blurred. Jesse swayed in place.

“Hey!” Natasha snapped in front of her face, startling Jesse out of her stupor. “Stay with me, Jesse.”

Jesse nodded dumbly. Natasha took her by the elbow and steered her up the stairs. “Richard is upstairs. He’ll protect you. I’ll keep them busy downstairs. Just stay with Richard, do as he says, and you’ll be fine. No plungers necessary.”

“Plungers?” Jesse blinked and furrowed her brow as she was led up the second flight of stairs. Oh. The attack on her apartment. The shower. Stocky. “Right.”

Natasha sighed and slapped Richard’s door with an open hand. “Rensselaer, open up,” she ordered. The door opened just enough for Natasha to push Jesse inside, and then it shut.

Jesse blinked at the door’s smooth white paneling. Her brain felt like stew. She’d barely processed any of what Natasha had told her. Where was she? Richard’s room? She turned around. Richard was back to loading his guns at his bed. The open closet door revealed a small open safe, empty save for a little cardboard box of ammunition that had fallen over. A few rounds had settled on the bottom of the safe.

“Get in the closet,” Richard ordered.

Jesse stared at him, hands still trembling. Richard was dressed to fight—a tactical vest, holsters stuffed with more guns than she’d seen even on Bucky. Richard had told her to do something. Why couldn’t she remember it? Why couldn’t she move? Why was she crying? What was the matter with her?

Richard’s last magazine clicked into place, and he slid it into an empty holster on his hip. He came over and put his hands on Jesse’s shoulders, his brown eyes gentle. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you.” He guided her towards his closet and pushed on her shoulders until she was crouched in the corner, her knees pressed tight against her chest. “Stay quiet. I’ll be back for you.”

Plungers.

“What if they come?” she blurted. She grabbed Richard’s sleeve before he was out of reach; his whole arm shook from her trembling. “They found me when they came to my apartment. What if—” She cut herself off and pressed both hands to her mouth. They were going to find her, and she was going to die.

Richard frowned, but there was no one to advise him. Jesse squeezed shut her eyes and bit hard on her tongue to keep from making noise as tears clogged her throat. She could just make out the buzz of Richard’s comm. They’re here.

“I’ll be back for you,” Richard repeated. He hurried out, cocking a pistol as he went and locking the door behind him.

Jesse reached out blindly and wiggled her fingers under the bottom of the closet door to pull it most of the way shut. She curled herself into a ball. In the silence and darkness of Richard’s closet, with its strange smell and numerous polo shirts, her brain finally lurched back to life.

How had this happened? Wasn’t this place supposed to be safe? It was bad enough when Mike showed up, but Natasha had brought him here. Had Current Relief followed him? Within an hour of his arrival, here they were.

No… That couldn’t be it. Natasha wouldn’t have brought him here if she knew they’d be followed. She wouldn’t have! And she had to know. She was the Black Widow! One of the most terrifying spies on the planet! She wasn’t that stupid.

Jesse’s stomach dropped. No, the only person stupid enough to broadcast their location was Jesse herself.

It wasn’t Mike’s arrival that told Current Relief what they needed to know. No, Jesse had done it for them. She’d run outside just long enough for them to find her, and now—

Now she’d put the whole fucking neighborhood at risk.

Natasha, Richard, Mike… Mike was trash, but he was everyone’s best bet at figuring out the plans of the people who’d done such harm. Richard was antisocial, but underneath that standoffishness he was kind. And Natasha—if Jesse got Natasha killed, it didn’t matter that all of this had happened because of someone else’s terrible decisions. Natasha was an Avenger, one of SHIELD’s best. How many people would be after her for revenge?

Jesse shuddered. She curled her fingers into her stomach, fighting back rising bile. All she’d ever wanted was to help people. She didn’t work at a nonprofit for the money, that was for sure. But here she was, summoning terrorists to a SHIELD safehouse as though no one inside mattered at all.

How could things have gone so wrong?

And how much of all this was her fault?

She swallowed, throat burning.

An unmuffled gunshot rang out, splintering the heavy silence. Jesse gasped and curled up tighter, pressing her hands over her ears. Two more shots rang out, quieter but no less real; the wall at her back shuddered with impact. Jesse squeezed her eyes shut and leaned forward until she was curled behind Richard’s small safe. Bangs and yells echoed from downstairs; the walls shook again. The closet door creaked as it swung slowly on its hinges.

Richard yelped. Oh god, was he hurt? What had happened to him?

More yells, bangs, and grunts from downstairs filtered through the thin carpet. Running footsteps pounded up the stairs. Jesse sat up, lips parted with terror. She inched forward. Through the open closet door, she could see that Richard’s bedroom door was still locked shut, a sliver of light along the bottom.

A shadow stopped in front of the door.

Jesse couldn’t stop the whimper that grew in her throat. She clapped a hand over her mouth and flung herself deeper into the shadows of the closet.

“Ha,” a man’s voice said. “Got you.”

Jesse’s blood rushed in her ears. She rose into a crouch and picked up the safe. It was small, not particularly heavy, but its open door swung as she lifted it. She fumbled to latch it shut.

A gunshot splintered the bedroom door. Someone kicked it in.

“Come out, come out,” the man cooed. His voice moved closer as he spoke, and Jesse counted in her head and hefted the safe higher in her arms.

When her assailant flung the door open and let out his first gunshot, the safe ricocheted the bullet back at his leg. He fell to his knees with a shout. Jesse regained her balance and swung the safe at his head with her teeth bared and muscles burning.

The impact sent them both reeling. Jesse stumbled, but the man collapsed facedown in a motionless heap on the floor. Jesse dropped the safe, panting.

The metallic scent of blood flooded her nostrils. The bile she’d been holding back rose dangerously, and she threw herself at the little trash can by the bed just in time. She shuddered as she retched, eyes blurred with tears and adrenaline.

Jesse coughed and swallowed with a grimace as another round of gunfire rang out downstairs. She crawled on her knees over to the prone man, glancing anxiously at the half-open door. The man had fallen on his face, one arm trapped under his stomach. His gun had fallen a few feet away. From this angle, Jesse couldn’t see the damage she’d done. She didn’t even know if he was bleeding.

The scuffle downstairs was getting louder, moving closer. Someone stomped on the stairs. Jesse stood to shut the bedroom door, but the knob had been blown away.

She panicked.

Richard’s room, like hers, had a window blocked with thick drapes. Jesse grabbed the abandoned gun and flung the curtains open. She squinted against the morning sun and forced open the window, then the screen. Just below was the pitched overhang for the back door, the one she’d run out of barely an hour ago. Jesse tossed the gun outside, then climbed onto the windowsill, heart stuttering. She eased herself down the few feet to the overhang. Her hands slipped before she had gotten a solid purchase, and she slid down the angled shingles with a strained cry. She snagged a hold on the lip of the overhand.

Then she dropped.

The six-foot fall into the dirt rattled her bones all the way up to her skull. She tried to turn her heavy landing into a roll, but her right wrist buckled. She didn’t stop. The woods were just there, just there… She ran, blind and deaf to her surroundings. She couldn’t hear a thing from the safehouse.

She didn’t look back; she just pumped her legs hard as she dashed into the cover of the woods. Was anyone following? Could anyone see? Dead leaves crunched underfoot. She wound her way between the trees in a frenzied ribbon. When she finally looked back, all she could see was the forest. The house was out of sight.

In a few minutes she emerged from the woods, still running, onto a road. The dirt and gravel crunched under her shoes. Her speed and shock were too much for her to make out details. Were there rocks? She couldn’t tell. She only stayed on her feet through sheer dumb luck and the grace of god.

Jesse glanced back, panting heavily, but no one was coming. She was alone.

She slowed to a walk. As her adrenaline drained away, her steps turned into stumbles. Her whole body throbbed from the fall, and a separate sharper burn sliced through her wrist with every movement. Jesse cradled her injured hand to her chest, eyes welling with tears.

She made her way to the edge of the road and collapsed in the tall grasses. Her quick breaths sliced through her lungs. Her limbs twitched as she moved; it took four tries to arrange the grasses around her like a cloak. She rested her forehead on her knees.

Her tears soon left a damp spot on her jeans. She sat up and wiped her cheeks with her trembling good hand, then realized she was empty-handed.

“Sh-shit!”

She’d left the gun! She’d thrown it outside on purpose, and now she was completely helpless. Helpless and injured—a sprained wrist, she guessed, plus the soreness inevitable from a fall. And the come down from her adrenaline high had turned her into a puddle. If anyone came after her, she was finished.

How could she have been so thoughtless? After everything, to die alone in the woods…

But then, would she have rather been killed in her apartment, for Fran to find? Or under Natasha Romanoff’s nose? At least out here no one could blame it on the Black Widow. It wasn’t Natasha’s fault that Current Relief had found them.

No, Jesse had ruined everything. She’d led Current Relief to the safehouse. She’d run away, like a coward, and it had turned into everyone else’s problem. All of this was her fault. How long until she finally paid for it?

—

Eventually, Jesse climbed to her feet. She had no idea where she was. Was she even on the same road as the safehouse? These gravel back roads all looked the same to her.

Should she try and find a building to get shelter? Another house, maybe? She huffed in dry amusement. Out here, what was there but houses? If she found somewhere else, she could call the police, get help…

Oh, what good would that do? What could the police do if even SHIELD was taken by surprise? And she didn’t have anyone at SHIELD’s number. Not even Bucky’s.

Jesse leaned heavily against a gray tree and squeezed her eyes shut. As a child, she’d memorized phone numbers easily. Even now she could rattle off her childhood friends’ numbers. These days, with smartphones and contact lists, she was lucky if she remembered her parents’ numbers, let alone her friends’. And she’d only known Bucky for what, two months? No, less. Six weeks, tomorrow. There was no way she could piece the right numbers together from her patchy memory. She knew enough math to know there were far too many possible combinations.

No, she was screwed. Well and truly screwed.

She’d dragged enough people into this mess. She wasn’t going to drag more innocent bystanders into it.

Jesse took a deep breath and stood straight, steadying herself with her good hand. She glanced back and bit her lip. What had happened to Natasha? To Richard? Had Current Relief won? Or were they beaten, tied up or cuffed like Mike? Endless questions rattled around Jesse’s brain.

A gunshot echoed from behind her.

Jesse flinched. She spun on the balls of her feet, hands trembling, every muscle tense. What the hell?

A second gunshot reverberated through the trees. Jesse dove back into the grasses at the side of the road. They were thick, and she was wearing gray. Could she make herself invisible? She had to try. She buried her face in her hands, eyes covered and all, and dug her elbows into the dirt.

Shouts rang out from the direction of the safehouse. How far had she actually come? Were they coming after her? Blood rushed in her ears. She tried to melt into the ground. What the hell was going on? What had happened?

The low rumble of a car broke through her terror. Jesse pressed herself even lower, not daring to look to the road. A cloud of exhaust and dust kicked up in the car’s wake as it crawled along. She bit hard on her lip, eyes watering, and tried not to breathe.

The dust didn’t settle for a long time.

Survey #206

“have you ever wished for death and prayed all night for your last breath?”

Do you always read the book before you see a movie based on a book? No. When you’re out with friends, do they ever encourage you to spend money you should be saving? 1.) I don't hang out w/ anyone now, 2.) but even when I did, they all knew I didn't make money. Is there anything you’re trying to save up money for? What? Perpetually tattoos, I want a PS4 super badly to play a novel of games I've been dying to play (SotC and Spyro trilogy remaster, I'm @ing you so hard), I need a car soon as I plan to at least try and get my license in the near future, I'd love to always have enough to immediately go to Sara's in case of an emergency, a trip to South Africa... but those are gonna take a good while to complete. I have my priorities straight for when I get a job. Have you ever watched a movie you didn’t really want to see just because a friend asked you to? Yeah. Did you end up liking the movie, anyway? There's been many cases of the above situation, so I'm sure in some instances I have. Heard any great songs for the first time lately? What songs? Hmmm, quite a number. "Radio" by Rammstein is great, and I love "bury a friend" and "bad guy" by Billie Eilish. What is your favorite urban legend? m o t h m a n and the joysey devil. Probably top two. GAH I love so many though????????????? Like Skinwalkers?????????????? And WENDIGOS????????? Have you seen all the cool shit?????????????? Do you remember the last nightmare you had? What was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever hopped on any bandwagons? HAHA. Freshman year, high school... I "liked" screamo or alternative-type bands I'd barely ever listened to or even enjoyed to fit in with the emos aldkjfalkwejr. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? Definitely not a complete one, but I can get pretty annoyed if in WoW we're in a heroic dungeon and people don't know the mechanics you should have already learned + read new ones that're right there in the goddamn journal laksdjfaoweir and then some people just totally ignore your advice and alskdjfwleiruwqoeif x2. Then again I've been that confused asshole in a couple raiding situations BUT LOOK they're harder and I had too much to catch up on okay. Still no excuse by WHATEVER. Have elitists on a fansite ever intimidated or talked down to you? I don't believe so. Is there anything you swear you will never do again? A few things with certainty. How late do you usually stay awake? I can literally go to bed as early as 7 to as late as 11 or rarely later. I do NOT have a schedule. Started months ago, and at first it frustrated and stressed me out quite a bit, but by now, I've just accepted it for me. Do you have pets? If so, how did you choose their names? Teddy: sister named him, but I'm sure it was the "cute as a teddy bear" type thing; Bentley: no clue; Roman: it sounded majestic, cats are majestic; Venus: pretty, and her coloration is similar to the planet; Kaiju: totally badass for an iguana that's gonna grow to be a big 'ole scaly boy; and Mitsu: I had a theme of giving my rats cutesy "M" names. Do you ever buy special treats for your pets? Occasionally. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? Did a middle school student write this? If you're pretty fond of something, there you go, you're a fan. Sure, some are more intense, but that doesn't make the more casual ones not "real." What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? Idk, I don't pay attention. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? Christ, without. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? HA. No. It is RARE I'll find a cute one, and that's always only online. Make pretty ones for plus-sized women a normal find, jfc. Idk why, but I am very picky with bras. Like good fucking luck seeing me without a shirt, so like,,,, why do I bother????? What length do you like your shorts to be? UM you will NOT see me in SHORTS. Have you ever cut off jeans or other pants and made them into shorts? Perhaps Mom has when I was a kid? But I have no memory of this ever happening. Have you cut the sleeves out of T-shirts to make tank tops? I don't think so. Have you ever modified a piece of clothing and hated how it turned out? ^ What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Ah jeez, what's the last time I even watched one. Idk. What was the last disappointing book you read? And I haven't read a book in even longer. Is there anything you’re really excited about? JOB. OPPORTUNITIES. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Vines, like shit dude. I can go on massive binges. What was the last thing you rolled your eyes about? I don't recall. What would you consider the greatest song ever recorded? Why? Yeesh, that's a big thing to decide. I recently discovered "A Reason to Fight" by Disturbed though, and it is. Incredible. Just read the lyrics to refresh my mind, and yeah, goosebumps. Do you like Hellboy? If so, do you prefer the old movies or the new one? Never seen any. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Dory, probably. But man, there's too many to choose from. Last thing you purchased just for fun? *shrugs* Do you even like behind-the-scenes stuff or does it ruin the magic for you? IF I'm real into the product, I love that stuff!! I've seen like every little BTS Silent Hill thing there is, probably, multiple hours' worth. What is your favorite thing about Mac computers? They're small and lightweight. What is your favorite thing about PCs? They generally hold much more memory. What are some errands you need to run soon? I don't have "errands" yet. Have your parents ever tried to convince people there was something wrong with you, when their “diagnosis” wasn’t accurate? No. List 3 of your best memories, times you wish you could go back and repeat. In no order, just as they come to me: 1.) First hug with Sara when we met at the airport; 2.) THE LOOK ON SARA'S FACE when she saw me in her room on her birthday (probably fave memory of all time, actually); 3.) seeing meerkats for the first time at the zoo. Ohhhh or maybe the true realization I was happy without Jason. But idk, that was SUCH a gradual process where I didn't feel ecstasy in like one moment. What color was your high school graduation gown? Ew, it was this obnoxious red. The majority apparently voted for it, while I was on the navy team. Are your parents’ dreams for your life different than your own? Mom's pretty dead-set on me being a vet, but she doesn't try to push me into it or anything. I know she just wants happiness for me. I haven't got a clue about Dad. Have your dreams for your life changed? Of course. What are your dreams now? HAPPY, stable job that I thoroughly enjoy, well-off financially (I don't aim to be rich, just "safe," you could say), healthy marriage, own my own home, travel to a few places, did y'all think I was gonna forget "meet Mark???"... stuff like that. What was your dream as a child? It changed plenty of times, but my earliest goal was to be a paleontologist. Do you feel safe in your country? Sure, I guess. Safer than most places. If applicable, do you feel safe at your school? N/A Would you ever want to learn sign language? It'd be cool, sure, but it's not something I'm interested in pursuing. How many meals do you eat a day? 2-3. Sometimes just one "real" meal. Do you own any succulents? No. What color are your walls? A hideous puke green. Why. What color were the walls in the bedroom you grew up in? I don't remember at all. What was the last song you listened to on repeat? "Love Falls" by HELLYEAH. What is your favorite style (or styles) of dance? Modern. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No. Have you ever sung a solo? No. Which insects are you afraid of? Most, really. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of an insect, when it’s so tiny? It depends on the insect, of course. Even if I do know what it is and it's "safe," I'll still typically freak if it surprises me. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Hmmm. Sara, I believe? What are you waiting for? Jesus FUCKING Christ on a bike a job. What do you usually feel like doing the most at home? Stuff on the laptop. What grade were you in when you had your first crush? I don't remember... For "puppy dog love," I believe maybe the 4th grade, but I may be wrong. I'd say my first *real* crush was on a guy named Sebastian in my freshman year of high school. Shit man, did a lot go down my freshman year. I'm just reminiscing and crushes jumped between like five dudes 'til Jason won. At what age did you start experiencing sexual attraction, if any? Some time in middle school, I think? Like that's when I had my first bisexuality crisis: 6th or 7th grade. Have you ever split open a rock with a hammer, to see the glitter inside? No, but FUCK I WANNA. What type of tree do you see the most of where you live? There's a pine tree outside my window. Oh, and there's a pine tree in my back yard. Oh, what's that across the road? Woods of pine trees. Where do all birds in NC live? In pine trees. What does our air smell like? Pine trees. Where is your favorite place you’ve lived? My previous home as far as location; house itself, where I am now. It's got its issues, but it's cozy and a perfect size for just two people. What states have you lived in? Just 'ole North Carolina. Take me awaaaaaaaaaaaay- Do you wish you were someone else? Sometimes. What is your favorite thing about the month in which it is now? Literally just flowers. That's it. It. Everything else can suck a legion of dicks. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Girt, Jason (if he counts), Alon, Maria... I had a few "best" ones. ^Are they still your best friends now? Girt is my closest thing to a "best friend" if you don't include my girlfriend. Do you live near the mountains? No, they're on the opposite end of the state. ;___; Do you live near a beach? We're like, two-ish hours away. What is your favorite beach that you’ve been to? Idk and idc, beaches aren't my thing. Do you collect seashells? Not seriously, but I'll keep a cool one if I find one. If you were to start a new collection, what would it be? If I was not ashamed of looking like a 23-y/o pre-teen in love with Just Bieber, I'd have more Markiplier merch than you'd fucking believe. (One of my biggest regrets in life was not buying the tasteful nudes calendar; I will eternally smite myself for being too embarrassed to have to explain why I would have that hanging above my bed rip.) If you had to pick one year and describe it as the best year of your life that you want to relive again, which year would it be? 2017 was fuckin litty titty. Is your world view the same as your parents’? In some ways with Mom, and I do know Dad and I differ on a few things. Well, if I learned more about his more political beliefs, I feel I'd probably disagree with most. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Are you the person you thought you’d be when you were younger? No. Are you a confrontational person, or the peacekeeper? I'm a massive peacekeeper. I avoid confrontation like the PLAGUE. Do you like to read? Not nearly as much as I used to. Like all I ever read nowadays are RP posts as I obviously have to reply to them, but if they're long, it is common I procrastinate on reading it... ;_; Do you sleep too much or not enough? Probably too much, especially when I go to bed early. Although, I do wake up throughout the night and sometimes officially pretty early. Then some days I have a 1-2 hour nap, so that just adds to it. Who is your best friend? Sara. <3 How did you two meet? YouTube. How did you meet your current bf/gf? ^ How far away is your closest family member? Well I live with my mom, but she's at work atm. The last time you did something with BOTH of your parents was? BOY OH FUCKING BOY. My mom's the most bitter witch towards him, so even for family events, Dad usually only stops by to avoid creating a goddamn wreck, such as at birthday dinners. I think the last time they were in the same house was for my nephew's birthday half a year ago, I believe. What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween!!! Now that I have a niece and nephew who grasp the concept of Santa, Christmas is also really special to me. I don't want kids, but watching those sweethearts get so excited over their presents is magical. For me personally, the holiday has grown more and more about celebrating family, especially as we continue to branch out/go our own ways. So I guess I like the idea of Halloween better and would enjoy it more if I actually had something to do, but as far as joy goes, Christmas. Do you like pumpkin pie? I hate anything and everything pumpkin-flavored. The last time you went to the doctor, what were you there for? It was the see my psychiatrist. Do you take any medication regularly? Yeah. Is there any particular view you have on insane people? I see "insane" versus "sane" as far more of a gradient shift instead of a direct split; there're levels. I actually do legitimately think I at some juncture in the aftermath of the breakup qualified as slightly insane, yet I wasn't dangerous or entirely out of touch with reality. So if you tell me someone's actually insane, I'm going to fear them being the explosive, entirely unpredictable and loopy kind, but I know the person may be calm and somewhat stable on the outside, too. You gotta consider the severity. Do you believe in any conspiracies? 9/11 was orchestrated by the government and you cannot change my mind. I'm not totally sold on this one and lean more towards "nah" (I think), but the "we live in a simulation by a future civilization" is not that far-fetched at all if you actually look into it. It's very interesting, whether or not you're sold on it. Hell, Neil deGrasse Tyson firmly believes in it. Out of your friends, who is the funniest? Girt makes me laugh at the snap of his fingers, it seems. Anything you need to get rid of? I'm sure somewhere... Do you have any wasted talents? Animal knowledge and compassion, probably... I know I could make a fantastic rehabilitator for animals, among a plethora of other animal-related preservation and protection actions I could actively engage in. Well, I'm going back to school for zoology, but even now, I want to do more. There is a wildlife rehab place I may be able to volunteer at soon, tho! Mom's talking to a guy at work about me helping there. DAMN, livin a dream. Do you let the little things get to you? The issue could be as small as a single cell and it could still bother me. How often do you cry? Maybe once in a week, possibly longer. I don't know if you mean like really cry or just tear up/lightly cry. The latter is pretty common, but the other, not so much. Even if I want to cry, my jaw just entirely locks the hell up and I physically can't get it out. Is there anything you’re trying to prevent? I mean besides the common sense things everyone takes action to avoid, hm. I feel like there's so much, yet nothing is coming to me? Well, actually, it's usually a daily struggle to prevent at least one OCD cycle. When was the last time you were told you were cute? *shrug* When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life? It's been quite a while... At least over a year ago, when I began to get antsy with wanting a job and later going back to school. It just all started when I realized I was healed from the breakup and ready to move forward in life, but I wasn't. Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Multiple people. What colors has your hair been? Dirty blonde, brown, red, and purple. I've had red and purple highlights, and I naturally have blondish ones, too. I'm ready to dye it again, jfc. Most attempts are failures because my hair does NOT take color well whatsoever. It's only ever worked perfectly with the brand Splat, and my hair soaked in the dye for a LONG time before washing it out. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? We share interest in plenty of the same bands, Mom especially. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? MY LITTLE SISTER. Haven't seen the woman in three years, but I can promise you Jason's mom still has it to a legendary degree. How expensive is too expensive for a pair of shoes? I haven't looked for shoes in so long that I don't even know the average price. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? Honey Nut Cheerios, normal Cheerios I think, and we have a little bit of the chocolate chunk Special K cereal left over. It's got to be stale by now (it's not even closed fully); I need to remember to toss it. What’s the last thing you spent over $10 on? Ummm I'm not sure. Over $30? I think my tongue piercing was $40? Maybe even lower? Or slightly higher?? I don't remember. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? I think so. The one time I was locked out of my house in the snow with Teddy and I waited like a fucking hour until I broke down, absolutely freezing (I was in my pajamas, dude), and walked down the road to try and get help (I needed to call my mom, obviously, and I didn't have my phone), I believe it was the third neighbor who answered. Turned out being a retired deputy who was super intimidating yet kind at the same time; he let Teddy and me stay in his house (mind you, Teddy is incontinent and didn't have his diaper on, which I warned him about) while Mom was on her way home. He gave me a jacket and some water, even when I said I was fine, but you could tell he wasn't totally sure about trusting this random, sobbing girl at his door because he asked me a thousand questions about my story and quizzed if I really did live in this area. Obviously a good cop, but after a day like that, I was just terrified of an old man who appeared a bit gruff. But thankfully Mom got there to save the day and I am forever grateful for that guy. WOW what a story for a simple question. Is there a bulletin board in your room? No. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? "Health freak" seems a bit extreme for both of them, but Mom is more concerned about health in general. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We just have tortilla chips, I think. I try to keep snacks out of the house to avoid temptation, and who eats plain tortilla chips. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Mom's. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Most would probably notice my Nightmare Before Christmas poster first, being as big as it is and on the wall opposite the entrance. Do you prefer the truth, even if it’s harsh? YES. I NEED to know this kinda stuff, even if the truth is really hard to hear. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I don't think so. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? I think I did when my very first band teacher did. EVERYONE loved him. Like, the entire school. Does your kitchen look like it was designed in a completely different decade? No? When’s the last time you wore heels? Great question. Probably not since my sister's wedding in '16. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? My grampa's on Mom's side. What’s the best date movie? Probably a rom com? Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. How many pairs of jeans, all together, are in your house? Zero. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I'll swear under my breath or seethe in frustration, but I never yell. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? No. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Whenever she starts dating a guy, she dips, and whenever/if ever we talk, she rambles absolutely endlessly about him. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't possibly care less about how your eyebrows look. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman and Bentley sure do. Bentley is a Professional Fly Moncher, specifically. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Uhhh good question. Probs the night before Sara got here for my b-day. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Hm, good question! I'd ask her, but I don't want her to ask me why I am lmao. What TV family reminds you of your own family? Probably none. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? No. I don't remember what I thought, but I know it wasn't that. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No, I think? Well Dad gives my sisters and me way too much money for Christmas and always tells us to ask him if we need anything, but I pretty much never ask him for said things, so I don't know the extent he'd go. Are there any drawers in your house that are just filled with junk? Pretty much. Is the last person you spoke to in love? That's my mom, so I doubt that with all I know. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? I don't believe so. What was the last movie to make you cry? I think the last was Coco. Moana may have made me tear up, but I can't remember... Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? Not to my memory. What time do you usually go to sleep at sleepovers, if ever? I haven't been to a sleepover in God knows how long. Who was the main character in the last book you read? Alice Liddell. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Via YouTube, Jeffree and his boyfriend. Irl, I don't know. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not very much. Like I've had brief daydreams about it, sure, but it's not something that's on my mind a lot. Still got a long time before that happens. What was the last unpleasant thing to wake you up? My cat not knowing how to keep his mouth shut. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Well, it depends; stars if we're in a completely isolated area where you can see them crystal clear or the clouds are boring, but otherwise, clouds if their design and colors are cool. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. Do you ever wonder what the opposite sex do at sleepovers? No. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom, no questions asked. When’s the last time you broke plans? Why? I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to see my VR coach that day. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes, my sister's. I was a bridesmaid. It was an absolutely awful experience because I was hot as fuck, it was triggering as HELL with me still grieving Jason, and I felt positively hideous in a dress when I was at such a horrible weight. I wish so dearly I could redo that day; I fell like I put a serious damper on my sister's big day. Would you feel safer with an alarm system or security cameras? Hm, depends on the scenario... I guess an alarm system? Like security cameras will show a murderer climbing through my window, but they're not gonna wake me up to save my ass. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? So long it smells nice, isn't watery, and doesn't only add oil to my hair, I don't care much. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit in front, in the back, or in the middle? Hm... idk. When I took the bus home with Jason, we always sat in the back, and that's really the only time I took a bus regularly. I think otherwise, I'd prefer the middle, closer to the front? I think I usually did that on occasions like band competitions and such. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, that's rare. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Meerkat Manor. Though I would hope they'd lessen down on the false story-telling. Stick to the true KMP events. When you feel stressed, do you take things out on the wrong people? Sometimes. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? N/A Are you sensitive to caffeine? Definitely not. My system's too used to it, probably. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. I'm 23. :^) Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? German. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? SURPRISINGLY no, at least to my memory. Do you like Vitamin Water? Never tried, don't want to. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Dad and me on his birthday. Do you know anyone that uses Sprint as their phone carrier? Idk. Well, I think. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? Sometime during Bobby's visit literally days ago. I already forgot who took it... and who else was in it lmao. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, two. A meerkat pair and then a far less extra pair that're closer to socks. I think they have cats on them? I got them for Christmas I think and haven't worn or seen them much. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? Not a fan of either, but Carrie Underwood is more tolerable and even has a couple songs I enjoy. Name something negative that you hate about yourself: I'll jump to a conclusion within .02 seconds of something negative happening. Or not even "negative" or something that's purely in my head. Is your house currently hot, cold or just right? The house itself is fine, and my room is just right because I have my fan on. Is there a Dead End road near where you live? I can't think of one off the top of my head, but it's likely, really. There's lots of those here. Growing up, did you see your cousins often? No. We live many states away on both parents' sides. Where was your first job at? GameStop. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? (Celebrities) It's been like two days and I'm over seeing the James Charles/Tati drama everywhere. You can't be interested in the YouTube community without being drowned in that shit right now somehow someway on any YT-coverage page and YouTube itself. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? I personally haven't. Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? I very openly and severely judge you if fucking height means that much to you. Do you mind being the third wheel? Not really, no. I'd only feel uncomfortable if they were getting pretty intimate. Has a kiss ever made you weak in the knees? Um I didn't know that was actually a thing so no. Do you feel comfortable buying condoms? Never been in that position. Have you ever dated two people at once? No. Have you ever been tested for STDs? No. Well wait, that time I gave blood I probably was just out of safety protocol. Have you ever run into your ex with his/her new sweetie? No. Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? When I was in that "wait does this break the abstinence rule" phase, yeah. God was I technical. Have you ever had a condom break during sex? N/A Do your parents know if you’re having sex? Well considering I'm with a girl and she lives states away, that answer's obvious. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Chips. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? A dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? A painter, maybe? If I could play the electric guitar, though... idk. What social media sites do you visit the most? Facebook. What did you hair look like in high school? Long, thick as fuck, brown (or dyed black) with some sort of highlight, and it was split to the left with the hair swooped over my right eye. Basically "I want the emo swoop but my hair is too fucking thick to obey hairspray." :^) Which dollar store do you shop at? Depends on what's closest, usually. We rarely ever stop at one unless it's for candy to bring into the movie theater, seriously lol. I think usually Dollar General? Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? WE DON'T KNOW EITHER. Skeletons or scarecrows? s k e l l y b o y s Has anyone ever given you the silent treatment? Yep. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? I learned on that day I hate giving blowjobs. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No, thankfully. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you ‘shortie’ instead of girl? BOY I would fucking cackle. I hate that word. No. Do you ever watch The Simpsons? No. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? OH MY GOD I remember that!!! But no. What IS your most embarrassing moment? Too lazy to go through the novel of 'em to pick the worst. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? You assume I find myself either. Do you own any mini skirts? I don't own any skirts period. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? No. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? I'm sure she has before. Do you have a deep voice? For a girl, yeah. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? *shrugs* Exclusively for me, probably never. Do you do something new with your hair practically every day? No, it's the same everyday. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? Delivery guy. Has anyone ever licked your foot? Ew no. Do you play games with boys/girls, like ‘hard to get’? I'm not 15. Has a guy ever quoted a romantic Shakespeare line to you? No, and I'm glad, as I'd cringe into another realm. Is there a Sonic where you live? Yes, I LIVE- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. I look less high, at least. What did you eat for lunch today? A pb&j. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers. What is in the back seat of your car right now? I don't own a personal car. Mom has a a load of stuff in the back of hers, at least I think... That's super rare, but she's been so ungodly busy idk if she's had time to clean it out. I haven't paid attention so can't recall. What was the last thing you threw up? Idr. Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don't smoke and never have, so idk. What is your favorite episode of Friends? I don't watch it, and I haven't seen many episodes at all if for whatever reason I was in a room and it was on. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you been to a strip club? No. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Hell if I remember. It had to either be my 16th birthday when Jason's family was all together watching the Super Bowl, or a hockey game with my dad. Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my sister's. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Nicole. Ever go to camp? No. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yeah. Do you have a tan? HA no. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't want kids. Are you someone’s best friend? Yeah. Favorite gemstone? Dragon's breath opal. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru, almost always. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. When was the last time you went swimming? Last summer at the beach. Holy fuck the water was so perfect. Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No. Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No. Like... just why. Do you ever get flu shots? No.

tagged by @monaramis ~

favorite games from the last 5 years? i’m notoriously terrible about actually finishing games, whether i enjoy the fuck out of them or not. 

pillars 1+2, dai, overwatch, and stardew valley, all for astronomically different reasons.

most nostalgic game? i still dream the original mario bros. theme sometimes, but probably ocarina of time. 

game that deserves a sequel? all i want in the world is for minako to be canon in some universe somewhere, and if that means persona 3 gets.... another persona 3? actually you know what, just fuckin put minako in persona q. i know it’s too late but you can FIX IT, atlus. 

game that deserves a remaster? idk how i feel about remasters, honestly. just. make new games. new games are neat. 

favorite game series?  probs persona, even though technically i’ve only.... finished p3. 

favorite genre? 

least favorite genre? most fps just don’t interest me at all. pew pew+scream not really my. forte.

favorite song from a game? mmmmm, i don’t really have an answer for this question. the dai soundtrack is pretty great, as is poe. 

favorite character from a game? akihiko sanada from persona 3, closely followed by shinji and minako. p3p is super important to me and i would die for these.... mostly dead kids. listen, i STILL wake up some days brokenhearted over p3′s ending. IT HURTS. 

favorite ship from a game? mmmmmeh, i’m not a big shipper. bela/merrill is insanely cute, though. 

favorite voice actor from a game? so uh i JUST FUCKING REALIZED THAT LIAM O’BRIEN WAS AKIHIKO’S ENGLISH VA AND. alkjf’lkjdaf’lkaj you guys. i don’t..... always love liam’s voice acting, but akihiko is my son and i’m all fucked up again. 

also, mercer’s eder gets me in my heart place. 

favorite cutscene? the scene in inquisition after haven, with the singing? yeah. super melancholy, hopeful, horrifying all at once. 

favorite boss? favorite boss experience was probably ashnard in fire emblem: path of radiance. like. beating him the first time was a miracle, but then the second time i played through the game soren was.... unholy, and ike just sort of. one-shot ashnard, and i may or may not have launched the controller ‘cause it was such a hot mess the first time. 

first console? SNES

current console or consoles? PS3, PS4, i’ve got a PS2 and gamecube floating around somewhere, as well as a PSP and 3DS. ..... that’s a lot for the number of games i.... actually play. 

console you want? meh

place from a game that you’d like to visit? i’m super struggling with names today, but the game w the silent, super ill protag w the sword and swooshy red cape and dopeass soundtrack? that one. 

place from a game that you’d like to live in? stardew valley. listen my dudes, parsnips grow in six days. 

ridiculous crossover that would never happen but would be super fun? uh, any battleroyale style game and sv. competitive farming with a side-helping of murder. 

book that would make a good game? ... pretty much anything by china mieville. railsea would be incredible, but like. mieville has an incredible mind for worldbuilding, and i want to run around like an idiot in all of his brain places. 

show/movie that would make a good game? mmm, hm. twin peaks? but mostly just setting. awkward atmospheric horror, eh? 

games you want to play? honestly, if i could grow the kind of consciousness that can handle soulsborne style games that would be super neat. 

have you gotten 100% completion in a game? uh, fire emblem, awakening. the hours i have on that game are unholy. 

have you cried over a game? persona 3 turned me into a ball of tears and existential crisis for literal hours, and i don’t even feel bad about it.