#well the point is shi qingxuan will hold your hand. that's the point at the end of the day.
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It's very important for me to say this and explain what I mean but SQX is not someone who can just leave you wanting. You want to dance? Then they'll dance with you, no music needed. You want to break something? Well, make sure it's not something that can't be replaced-- here, take this trinket from them, it's delicate and won't hurt your hands too badly if it snaps in the wrong places and they can always get another one so don't think too much about its value. You want to wander? Wander with the blessing of the wind always against your back to lighten your burden; it will never go against you, it will never create more hardship for you. You want quiet? They'll sit in silence, a hand's breadth away, and they might fidget a bit but they'll preserve the peace without letting the quiet become too loud. You want to cry? It's a little awkward, but that won't stop them from winding an arm around your shoulder and saying "there, there" not just to placate but to offer sincere solace.
That's not to say that they'll always know what to give and when to give it, much less always be the right person for what it is you need. They're generous to an almost offensive degree (why are you tossing out all those merits? isn't that at the expense of your believers' ardent prayers and offerings?). But if you want, why can't they give? They have an overabundance of everything. There's no use in letting the water of an overflowing cup spill onto the ground and create mud.
SQX themself has been cared for to a choking degree. The type of care with confines that shrink and expectations that grow with each milestone passed. Nothing they have has necessarily been earned by right or work. It might be an insult for someone like them to hear your want and offer their means. How aware they are of this is entirely dependent on the situation. Even so, it's no excuse for them to not try. No matter who is at the helm of it, the wind is a constant no matter what, isn't it? It's always there cooling the sweat on your brow, always there chafing your lips, always there to tug at your sleeve. That's who they are. Even at their worst, they are just so full. It's lonely to be that kind of full for too long without trying to share. How can they not give when there is want? So they don't deserve all they have. That doesn't mean you don't deserve them holding their hands out and saying 'take it, take as much as you like, I'll be here next time too.'
#▌ ◈ SHI QINGXUAN ; ⌜ about ⌟#okay with that i have to sleep SFSDF#i only posted two things tonight... sqx if ur gonna be my brainworm can u pls give me some of ur speed and energy i B E G#idk gamers! too often i see sqx's generosity chalked up to 'tossing around their means lavishly bc they're privileged'#and its true a degree- but let's not forget they were the exact same way post black water#sqx has a very full and very forward heart#theyre so intentional with their defense of xl in the ghost city arc too- and that's somethin else!!!#sqx is friendly with others but when it comes down to it does NOT fall into the 'a friend to all is a friend to none' trope#superficial sqx isn't real she can't hurt you (me writhing in agony whenever i see it)#this is also very much a flaw too. oh i need to dig into their flaws as well#well the point is shi qingxuan will hold your hand. that's the point at the end of the day.
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Finished heaven official’s blessing and I really enjoyed writing an analysis on helluva boss I want to make this a regular thing because it’s fun so here’s my thoughts on
Heaven Official’s Blessing
Spoilers (duh)
I think it’s incredibly impressive when someone can make an overarching narrative in which different seemingly disjointed events are significant without A) putting a giant exclamation mark on top saying “REMEMBER THIS IT WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER” and B) Significantly over or under emphasizing the importance of the scene in the moment. Each event stood on its own and I liked that.
There were several janky sentences and word choices but that’s a translation issue, this writer clearly knows what she’s doing.
Characters were a lot of fun and distinct, my favorites were Feng Xin, Pei Ming, Qi Ying, and Ling Wen whenever they were on the page I was like Ah yes, these pages are gonna be enjoyable and I was right, they’re all delightful (cept the brocade immortal stuff, but like I don’t care, Google assistant is fun) Xie Lian and San Lang are delightful, love them, and San Lang is so effed in the head it’s enjoyable to try and imagine what unhinged thing he’ll do next
Tbh there isn’t much plot breakdown I want to do with this series because it knows what it is, it’s a fanfic ass book with good times, trauma, gay fluff, and fights. Need I say more? That’s not a detractor, it’s a strength. Be what you are and own it because a house with a house’s foundation is a great house but slap a building on that house’s foundation and it fails in both regards.
The only aspect I’m going to analyze is the narrative voice the books are written in because holy crap is it super impressive. Xie Lian is a super mature (or ditzy, depending on your point of view) character, he doesn’t dwell on things, doesn’t hold grudges, doesn’t really care that much about people’s histories or even their present, doesn’t focus much on externals and it comes through in the way the book is written. I noticed this when throughout the books San Lang would do fucked up stuff like make it rain blood and kill a pit’s worth of people and Xie Lian kinda didn’t really seem to care and at first it pissed me off, why isn’t the author letting consequences occur because of these peoples’ actions, but then as it held consistently throughout the book and other people kept being super concerned about stuff, like Pei Constantly asking after Shi Qingxuan (I don’t know how to spell their name, it’s so hard to keep track I’m so sorry) or people bringing up Banue, I realized this is just Xie Lian, other people in the book are regular people like me, this one guy is just experiencing things, going “Well, ain’t that something” and then just moving on. Honestly iconic, but also I was halfway through book six when I realized. Especially since whenever they do flashbacks Xie Lian does all normal stuff. He describes settings he’s in, he mentions events that happened a few pages ago, he tells the reader how he feels, it’s after he experiences all his shit he goes through that this all kinda slips away. In “present” scenes he’ll reference things as they come up but like in the flashback after Mu Qing leaves they talk about it a few times and I find that aspect of acknowledgment to be noticeably absent in the “present” scenes. After the black water arc there is a complete lack of discussion about the frankly trauma inducing event that just transpired but sure Cie Lian, you and San Lang have to not hold hands for the billionth time. At first I thought is this author high but then I realized what shes doing is characterizing through prose which is IMPRESSIVE AS HELL. This may be a point I noticed and am now misremembering the entire series just to bolster my take and if that’s the case then I shall sheepishly shrug and say I’m sorry. I’m not rereading 8 books to write a tumblr review. Maybe if I ever start a YouTube channel
I don’t know, I just find it to be an incredible feat of actually good writing when a story is being told through the lens of the main character and you can characterize that character by simply reading the story and seeing how it’s written, not even through dialogue and action. It’s kinda like the Great Gatsby or a Separate Peace, and it’s super cool that a book like this can accomplish the same thing that makes those classics great. There isn’t as much symbolism or analytical potential but those books wouldn’t be nearly as impactful as they were without great execution, which this book pulled off in spades.
#ash#thoughts#heaven official's blessing#hob#mxtx#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#ti guan ci fu#xie lian#san lang#hua cheng#hualian#pei ming#qi ying#quan yizhen#feng xin#nan yang#god these names are so fucking confusing#mu qing#ling wen#google assistant#brocade immortal#plot#analysis#narrative#narrative voice#literature
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TGCF as Taskmaster
Hua Cheng: I hope this doesn't seem disrespectful, Pei Ming, but when I heard you were booked, I was A, delighted, and B, I suspected you would drag this show into the gutter.
Pei Ming: *nods*
Hua Cheng: But. Shi Qingxuan, it would appear, is the person I should have kept my eye on. You said "ooh, look at you with your big pipe", "not even if I took it right to the rim would that one work",
Shi Qingxuan: Is that rude?
Pei Ming: *silently dying of laughter*
Hua Cheng: and then, correct me if I'm wrong. You shook your chest at us
Shi Qingxuan: It was a shimmy!
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He Xuan, clearly terrified: That's right, I love you and I love my wife. Equally.
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Xie Lian: *carries in a cactus and puts the doughnut on top of it* That's not bad, is it? Through. There you go.
He Xuan: Yeah?
Xie Lian: Are there any spare doughnuts?
He Xuan: To?
Xie Lian: Nibble.
He Xuan: To nibble? Yes, I can get you another doughnut to nibble, that's fine.
Xie Lian: Okay!
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He Xuan: Here's a doughnut for you to nibble.
Xie Lian, fiddling with objects: Okay, and that's also a test doughnut.
He Xuan: Did you trick me into getting you a test doughnut?
Xie Lian:
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Xie Lian: My time spent collecting scraps. Finally coming in good!
Xie Lian: I've... I've stuck my hands together. That's a bit of an issue.
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Hua Cheng: The only thing that's through that doughnut is.
Shi Qingxuan: Yeah?
Hua Cheng: Less than a centimeter of cactus tip.
Shi Qingxuan: I said to Ming Yi, is it through, Ming Yi said, yes.
Hua Cheng: He misled you.
Shi Qingxuan: Why would you do that to me? I thought we were friends.
Hua Cheng: Yeah.
He Xuan: Did you?
Shi Qingxuan: Yeah!
He Xuan: No one's ever said that to me.
Shi Qingxuan: I can't believe you've turned on me like this.
Hua Cheng: Yeah, he does that.
Shi Qingxuan: Yeah.
Hua Cheng: He's no loyalty to anyone.
Shi Qingxuan: Two faced!
Hua Cheng: No loyalty to anyone!
Shi Qingxuan: I'm sat here between sexy and brainy side and then it's ol' chump in the middle.
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Jun Wu: I would not have had the courage to pass the toy giraffe...
Hua Cheng: Yeah?
Jun Wu: ... through the doughnut.
Hua Cheng: God, it really does work having an emperor. I almost started to believe it was important, passing a giraffe through a doughnut. It does work!
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Hua Cheng: This is going to drive an even bigger wedge between you and Shi Qingxuan, because I'm going to allow Feng Xin the cow.
He Xuan: Well, the cow is the biggest this, it's 800,000 centimetres cubed-
Mu Qing: No, no, hang on. But the image part-
Feng Xin: NO JUST SHUSH HE'S MADE HIS CHOICE
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Shi Wudu, putting on the gloves: It's very Qingxuan.
Shi Qingxuan: *poses immediately after getting the gloves on* They work.
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Shi Qingxuan: It doesn't have to be standing, does it?
He Xuan: Most accurate sculpture wins.
Shi Qingxuan: Scene! Can you lay on the floor?
Shi Qingxuan: Right, what colour's your hat?
Scene:
Shi Qingxuan: Is it purple? Silver?
Scene:
Shi Qingxuan: Azure? Lemon? Russet-grey?
Scene:
Shi Qingxuan: WHAT COLOUR'S YOUR FUCKING HAT?
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Hua Cheng: Mu Qing, I think I saw a moment where you finally realised what show you're on, where you went "Why would he be holding a duck?"
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Hua Cheng: During the break. Xie Lian dropped his mike and pack into the toilet.
Xie Lian: I did, I did.
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He Xuan: Here's Feng Xin's sculpture.
Hua Cheng: See, I don't know if it's good.
Feng Xin: Excuse me!
He Xuan: Here's the lollipop man they were trying to sculpt.
Hua Cheng: Well, first things first. Xie Lian, you were right. He's a powerhouse.
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Hua Cheng: In third, and no one is more surprised about this than me, Pei Ming, is Pei Ming, with three points.
Shi Qingxuan: I'm doing worse than the haunted baby?
Hua Cheng: You're doing worse than the haunted baby. But you will be taking home some points, in this case, two. And in last place, is whatever monstrosity Xie Lian created.
Xie Lian: *laughing and curling up on his seat*
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He Xuan: You're going to set fire to it?
Feng Xin: Well, it said the lightest tower.
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Hua Cheng: Join us next time to see a highly successful god take home some dirt cheap disco lights and a bop-it. FEEL THE ADRENALINE HIGH!
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Hua Cheng: Not long until someone claims this finely crafted trophy. *Motions to trophy of his eyebrows*
He Xuan: Yes, Hua Cheng. I thought this was quite a silly show but it's got quite *motions to the trophy* eyebrow lately.
Hua Cheng: Why don't you shut your stupid mouth?
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He Xuan: Is there anything you're looking for in particular?
Qi Rong: Not really. I'm trying to figure out how I could cheat.
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Hua Cheng, to Xie Lian: I think you should start a cult or something. It's really compelling, every time you said "I've had a really good idea", I found myself going "yeah, he has".
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Hua Cheng: Shi Wudu, please reveal your item.
He Xuan: It's a triangle.
Hua Cheng: Shi Qingxuan, please reveal your item.
Shi Qingxuan: What if I don't want to?
Hua Cheng: REVEAL IT!
Shi Qingxuan, pulling out a triangle: WUDU YOU RUINED MY DAY!
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Pei Ming: The first two of those were... Lacking in deliberation.
Hua Cheng: I'm glad you confessed to your crimes early on because I was going to say "Pei Ming doesn't deserve to be punished because he's the only one firing in my direction" and as we were walking down, He Xuan said to me "he was firing at you on purpose".
#i dont ship hua cheng and he xuan#but you have to admit theres no one else who could take alex hornes place here#and then i had to keep the continenty that alex horne was he xuan#tian guan ci fu#tgcf incorrect quotes#hua cheng#xie lian#pei ming#he xuan#shi qingxuan#shi wudu#feng xin#mu qing#jun wu#qi rong
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In the morning Daisuke will find two things placed just so inside his shoe locker: a small box tied closed with a frilly ribbon with a bubblegum pink envelope placed on top. An assortment of chocolates lays inside the box; white chocolate, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate. Each one is meant to look like a heart, though some are more successful at it than others. A letter lays inside the envelope. Glittery stickers frame the handwritten note.
' I wanted to give these to you in person, but then I thought: shouldn't I do it the proper way instead? It's double the fun if you get chocolates and celebrate the holiday at the same time, right? Since you like each flavor, I made all of them! I even tried to make one with cherry filling, but it's much harder than it looks, so don't tease me about the shapes okay :( Anyway~ What I also want to say is that I'm glad we've gotten to smile and laugh together. Sometimes my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Let's spend more time like that together! I want to see more of your other expressions too. Speaking of smiling, I smiled a lot while making these and I hope you can taste that in them. I think sometimes my mom used to say food made with care tastes best. Okay, see you later! - ♡ Shi Qingxuan ♡ '
@deiscension
the locker opens , and it's with a hitched breath and grimace that daisuke nearly slams it right back shut . what was that ? what the heck was that ?! it's far more glitter and bright color in the small space meant for his shoes than he's bargained for ( that being none , mind you , ) to the point that it's dangerous --- his hand lifts over his chest to count out every growing beat ; his head frantically swivels about to make sure there weren't any sort of witnesses .
--- geeze , that had been close !
of course he'd recognize the shape of a letter and chocolate box even by just a glance , but what in the world was something like that doing in his locker ?! it wasn't a misplaced valentines , was it ?! year after year , his winter-springs had gone absent of anything like this . there's no guess as to who it could possibly be from until he timidly reaches out for it and peeks inside , just one eye opened in a pulled back wince .
well , it probably wasn't a prank , at least ... or a lovingly planted bomb and flashbang hoping to keep him on his toes . the chocolates looked just fine . hardly a professional's handiwork , but what did anyone like the niwa ever care when the sight of them alone made his heart soar ? ( keep it together ! don't get your hopes up too high ! ) setting the checked box aside , daisuke quietly slips out the letter and runs his finger along the seal of it . come to think of it , this sort of presentation felt a bit like ...
ah . it really was from shi qingxuan .
it's getting harder to smother the pounding sense in his chest . daisuke can't help but let out a breath that he hadn't known he was holding , relief rushing in with every warm sense of familiarity . everything feels like an eruption : his own happiness , and the simultaneous bliss of being able to be recognized , as well as to properly recognize someone as a friend .
a proper way : did something like that even exist ? he might have loved to be able to tell her that just like the flavor of chocolates , any method of delivery was just fine . whatever she could come up with , no doubt his own family would have put him through worse , if not more absurd . of course , he never would have teased her over her hard work either . neither through return letter nor in person --- he well understood just how difficult making chocolates could be .
rather , feeling both his cheeks and his blood starting to burn , he would have only ran away just like now in the overwhelming flush of the moment . it's happiness ; it's too cute , too cute , he can't take it . it stings and aches ; it's tight and a little painful in his chest , he can't help but feel guilty . a burst into the school's restrooms precedes a phantom flash across the mirrors ; a tall , dark figure locking itself behind a door .
his other expressions . his other self and second face . there was no way that she understood the ways truths and a curse like his could evaporate every smile and round of laughter in an instant . but the scent of chocolate and the faintest graces of shi qingxuan's recognizable perfume remain sweet and linger on the smooth , cold tips of his hands . thieves' palms cross reverently over themselves , a little like a prayer --- all the more when the ball of his combined fist lifts to his lips , a second heart's swell curing him of all monstrous form .
wasn't it enough to imagine her happy ? no , she had to truly be content as well . someday , in front of him , even if only for as long as he could bear to stand before it . whatever his answer and the shape of his feelings , he had a month to create it . both his gratitude and desire : his every wish to smile at her without sharp teeth , black wings ; neither of them turning terrified .
#*･ﾟ⊰ ANSWERED. ⊱#deiscension#CANON.#sqx laughing and smiling sm it hurts vs daisuke so happy it hurts. FIGHT!!!!#HAUNTED BESTIES!!! IN THE WOODS!!! GIVING EACH OTHER VALENTINES!!!#JUST U WAIT UNTIL WHITE DAY SQX JUST YOU WAIT!!!!!!!
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honestly re ‘reading’ tgcf (jamie reading choice parts aloud in sequence as we both make commentary) has just convinced me further of my ‘he xuan’s revenge was kind of thrown together at the last minute’ theory (which i will be taking no criticisms on i’m not tagging this i just had the urge to write out my semiserious thoughts in a post. we good? okay)
because like. taking sqx to his tourist trap hometown to look at a cool spookyday parade that tells his backstory is inspired!
(it got a bit ruined by fucking xie lian who is now always around for some reason (seriously xl is ALWAYS showing up again during the black water arc and i honestly don’t blame hx for bopping him once. hua cheng you shouldn’t have punched him into the ground for that he DESERVED that one) but ANYWAY)
and then we go to the pavilion where sqx ascended. nice, nice. and tell him the truth...... uh........ somehow..... look, I’ll trust it was cool and effective due to how it wound up with sqx screaming in horror and all. sexy, inspired. and shi wudu’s locked him up! I fully believe that he xuan’s plan at this point looked something like
rescue sqx like a total badass, take him to nice quiet honeymoon cottage in the place none of the three tumors will go, maybe leave him there while you go kill shi wudu? like, SURELY he’ll get over it at this point. maybe even
if things seem good reveal yourself and then hold hands with sqx and maybe kill shi wudu TOGETHER?? but let’s not aim too high this is a stretch goal
but like, clearly he hates his brother now! this is fantastic! everything’s gonna go great revenge is awesome
but Then. sqx goes! to help! his shitty brother again! COMPLETELY DERAILING phase 2. you rented that honeymoon cottage for nothing. fuck this
but fine. okay. you can pivot. you can change up the plan you spent like 10 years coming up with. yes it wasn’t a very detailed plan but like, you have a lot going on. spying and sinking ships, etc, and sometimes you forget you actually have to decide on what you want to do for revenge, but WHATEVER. you drag everyone into your turf (surf?). you split up the group. you have a palace with shi qingxuan’s name on it and a prison with shi wudu’s. yes shi qingxuan has to have a brief time out in the jail first but that’s what you get for siding with shi wudu and insulting your shovel. anyway! draw up the distance shortening array, drop shi qingxuan in a nice palace room, now you can go hunt shi wudu for sport.
shi qingxuan leaves the room. you forgot he can do that
well you know, maybe you should figure out something else to do with him! you’re still very pissed that he sided with his horrible no-good brother, after all. of course you’d still rather stab yourself than so much as scratch him but it’s whatever.
shi wudu somehow figured out you’re sketch?
shi qingxuan is standing with his brother again and acting REALLY weird in general
you are having a very bad mental health day at this point
...you know what, fuck this, let’s ALL go to the cave where i’ve currently stashed my family’s urns, it’s as good a showdown place as any!
grab some of those haunted house actors you hired and tell them to babble and scamper and caress shi qingxuan a little bit but nothing below the belt or you Will kill them
(the ~crazy gross people~ hordes are deeply unfortunate and i will mentally rewrite them as i choose ok)
now you can at least force Shi Wudu to bow and apologize but honestly you’re not having that much fun at this point
Listen: the ‘ooh swap your brother’s fate with one of my curated weirdos’ thing makes WAY more sense to me if you assume... it was never something he xuan intended to happen. like, seriously, the process was something shi wudu did from heaven, quite probably with Ling Wen’s assistance. how’s he xuan gonna make him go through with it if he lets him go enough to do it in the first place? (for my sanity i assume that if sw wasn’t having his own mental breakdown he’d also have been like ‘wait’). but the thing is! he xuan does not want that to happen! i fully believe he’s lying through his teeth with both options, because he demonstrably wanted shi qingxuan to side with him (’I gave you chances!’) so like. here’s what the options actually are
shi wudu (bastard; incapable of finer feeling) shows his true evil colors and condemns his brother to have a horrible fate! by agreeing to swap his brother’s fate when his life was threatened, he’s shown that he clearly didn’t do it for sqx’s sake in the first place. sqx is shocked, realizes his brother is Evil, he and hx hold hands??? maybe we can get some use out of that honeymoon cottage after all
yeah we don’t think this one will work but it’d be nice to see sqx kill sw. sigh. obviously we’re not going to leave him alone afterward, though, it’s his first murder, he’ll be vulnerable and in need of comfort!
ALSO ACCEPTABLE: sqx goes ‘pls he-xiong spare my brother and i’ll do anything to pay for his crimes 🥺🥺 ANYTHING’ and then you can break out the villainous but oddly compelling offer of marriage
but instead the shi brothers just start CRYING all over each other and acting like they actually care about each other?? (with sqx specifically saying that only they care for each other and nobody else cares for either of them? OUCH) and despite ample opportunities sqx is barely trying to appeal to your relationship (you’re best friends! you even admitted it as the ~Reverend~ in that restaurant oh wait shit did you curse yourself a little bit) and not coming up with Any tearful but attractive offers of atonement. come the FUCK on
then shi wudu snaps and things kind of go to hell
yes this revenge is not very satisfying at this point but fuck him for pointing that out
and after hx gets mad enough to rip off sw’s head, we have... just a super awkward, not-a-bang-but-a-whimper finish. he takes sqx somewhere offscreen, and eventually dumps him half-heartedly in a big city to be a beggar or whatever
and genuinely I think a lot of the weird gaps and awkward joins and weak finishes of certain plots in this book are, doylistically, just... the product of tgcf being a WAY huger and more ambitious book than even mdzs, there’s bound to be more flaws, but watsonianly. hx’s plan for revenge, at the time he kicked it off, didn’t include sqx, up until the end he’s still giving sqx (confusing, unadvertised) chances to earn his mercy, and i think him dumping sqx and staying at an awkward distance from him afterward has less to do with revenge and vaguely promising he’d leave sqx alone if certain conditions were filled and more to do with him just not knowing what to do at that point.
he doesn’t want to hurt sqx (much) but after losing his temper and ripping off sw’s head in front of him sqx was just going limp, if he xuan kept him was he just going to keep being suicidal on him? can’t kill him can’t keep him prisoner don’t want to directly hurt him but you’re still mad at him ok i guess drop him in a homeless camp and stalk him from afar for a while. write an AITA post on reddit and then delete it. shi wudu died laughing and the cute one you wanted to keep and maybe learn to call you your actual name is severely depressed and terrified of you now. revenge sucks
#added to this mess is the fact that hua cheng's shitty boyfriend KEEPS SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE#black water arc is 2/3 farce 1/3 tragedy tbh#why did i write 1k of this. i mean why do i do anything but#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#it's just very funny in a sad way & i wanted to share that feeling#anyway sorry hx but going thru the arc again has actually just made me adore shi wudu more#'even if you kill me i win and you lose' is SUCH a choice mad laughing breakdown flavor and i can only stan#(but also like. the fascinating irony of hx modeling himself as a dark mirror to sw)#(and the fact that the thing that the two of them want desperately in that last scene is for sqx to be okay)#(BUT they're both terrible traumatized people who can't reach outside a certain view of the world and they bring out the Worst#in each other. so it all gets fucked)#(and neither of them get that what sqx wants is to NOT have to choose between them)#(hell i don't even know if sqx knows that he wants that!)#(okay enough genuine feelings on this dumb funny post)
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Hi lise....How are you? If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in all of MXTX novels? (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....
I am stressed, depressed, and holding off a mental breakdown but keeping it together so far! and distractions in the form of thinking about my villain beloveds help.
asdlskjadf oh man. so it’s not quite “all of them” but it is... “several.” no ranking here because rankings are hard, so here’s in no particular order my personal greatest antagonist hits from mxtx’s novels
(this post will contain hella spoilers just to let you guys know)
1. He Xuan. I just finished (well, for a given value of ‘just’) rereading the Black Water Arc again and ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I love He Xuan so much, I love everything he chooses to do, I love the fact that he has a choice between revenge and a friendship he does seem to value and ultimately still chooses revenge, I love his cold anger, I love the part where he just fuckin...rips Shi Wudu’s head off with his bare hands, RIP Water Master but that was pretty badass.
But yeah, I think what most draws me toward him is that...pull, where you can see him trying to give Shi Qingxuan an out, and he’s not going to abandon his revenge, would never, but he will bend it just a little, or he would...but ultimately Shi Qingxuan fails the tests he gives them and that’s it.
Also “you called the wrong name” will probably live in my head, as they say, rent free, with lines from literature that stick with me.
2. Xue Yang. Obviously. I feel like...I don’t even know how to talk about him here without repeating myself. Love at first sight and I never looked back. It only got worse. There’s a whole lot of buttons that he’s hitting all at once and...god, idk, okay, I’ve written more fics about him in a year and change than I wrote in the entire Silmarillion fandom between 2009-2021, and some of those are long. It’s a lot.
3. Jin Guangyao. I feel like I don’t always talk enough about Jin Guangyao and that’s mostly because I feel like other people have said the things I’d want to say but better already? But...god, love him. He’s such a psychological mess of paranoia and anxiety and insecurity, he’s so up in his head, constantly thinking about three or four things at once, is he enjoying the experience? Not necessarily.
I’m always going to be a sucker for a clever schemer and Jin Guangyao’s got that going for him, and I also really enjoy a good juxtaposition between seeming fragility and insane endurance/ability to keep going well past the point it’s reasonable. His drive to escape his origins, to prove himself, to gain an approval that’s always going to be just out of reach...I’m love him. Very very much.
4. Shen Jiu. Does he count, considering he’s mostly SIr Not Appearing In This Novel with the exception of the extras? I’m counting him. It feels very silly and also very me that my favorite SVSSS character is this guy because like...he’s not even technically present in the novel proper as an actual person? Even Xiao Xingchen at least gets a corpse cameo.
Whatever, I’m counting him anyway. I was going to be like “I know he’s awful” but come on, this is a list of antagonists and I love characters dealing horribly with their trauma and also passing their trauma on to others in the worst way, and also characters who come to bad ends, and also characters who will see people thinking the worst of them and go “fine! sure! I will do nothing to correct these assumptions at all because fuck it, if people are going to hate me might as well go all in.”
5. Jun Wu. I know, I know! I feel like this is maybe the most unpopular of mine actually but I have a thing for...antagonists who are disappointed idealists who are now trying to ruin everyone else’s day/life to prove their point while at the same time (this is a read, but I think I can support it) wanting to be proved wrong, but also absolutely certain that they won’t. And his interactions with Xie Lian in book four as Bai Wuxiang are...well. they sure do hit a nail shaped like my character dynamic kinks right on the head
and I’ll talk about this more in my favorite TGCF moments answer that’s forthcoming (I’m just finishing the book first so I don’t forget anything!), but I also find the conclusion to his arc very satisfying in ways that I very seldom get in media.
honorable mentions: Ling Wen (honorable mention only because I don’t know that she actually counts, she’s only an ‘antagonist’ for a hot minute and she doesn’t actually do anything to our protagonists to seriously hurt them), Shen Qingqiu’s internalized homophobia (honestly probably the biggest antagonist of SVSSS, lbr), Xie Lian on a rampage, He Xuan’s skeleton fish.
I do also have a soft spot for Bingge even though we only see him for a hot minute. he’s just awful and a disaster and I love that for him.
are we counting Jiang Cheng as an antagonist? because I don’t but if we were he’d be on this list too.
honestly the only antagonists I actively dislike (as opposed to just find relatively uninteresting) are Jin Guangshan and Jin Zixun.
#thanad zid#conversating#the sad queer cultivators show#dysfunctional gods and ghost kinks#i need a custom svsss tag#i'm not going to tag this as meta because it's just me like. fucking gushing#but i will tag it as#top five meme#so i can find it again and since i did end up with five
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For the Hand-holding thingy. Peixuan ofc. There's so many that would fit but how about....11?
Thank you!! :D I hope you enjoy! <3
11. not wanting to lose each other in a big crowd
AO3
The market comes to the Royal Capital once every few years. Different from the usual shops, it’s a gathering of merchants from all over peddling delicacies, jewels, and even the occasional rare spiritual treasure. It has always been one of Shi Qingxuan’s favorite events, and one of the few he shared with his brother, the two of them often coming down together to look around and spend.
This year marks the first market without him, making Shi Qingxuan feel a little wistful as he makes his way through the crowd. The market always draws a large one, and this year feels especially packed. Not that Shi Qingxuan minds it much. He has always felt at home among crowds, the Wind Master of old boldly drawing eyes wherever he went.
Well, he still draws plenty of eyes. It’s hard not to when he walks partly hunched over with a limp, dragging his broken leg with an awkward shuffling sound. But the gawking-turned-pitying glances never last long when they meet the gaze of his companion, tall and handsome, and coolly confrontational when he wants to be.
With Shi Qingxuan though, he’s just annoying.
“What do you think of these?” Pei Ming asks, gesturing to a nearby stall selling amulets of some kind. “Want one?”
“What would I need with an amulet?” Shi Qingxuan points out critically.
“They’re spiritual charms. A little extra protection never hurts,” Pei Ming says. “Besides, it’s pretty. You like pretty.”
Shi Qingxuan does like pretty, but he looks away with a scoff. The amulets are nice and in the past he would have happily snatched up several to gift to friends. But he feels nothing looking at them now. It’s the same for the other jewels Pei Ming points out to him, alongside a plethora of rare silks and teas.
“These would make some nice gifts,” Pei Ming notes of some jade pendants. Shi Qingxuan looks over and nods.
“If you like them, buy them then,” he says. “But so long as they’re gifts for your lady friends and not me. We had a deal, General Pei. Don’t forget.”
“How can I when you keep reminding me,” Pei Ming grouses, and after another thoughtful look continues past the stall. “Qingxuan, you can’t really be satisfied just looking around. There has to be something you like.”
“I like many things,” Shi Qingxuan admits. “I just don’t need them. And if there’s something I want, I’ll buy it. I have money.”
Money he’s earned himself from some minor odd jobs, he adds to himself with a satisfied nod. There isn’t that much, but he’s very proud of it.
General Pei just gives him a furrowed look. “As long as you’re really having fun…” he mutters.
I am, Shi Qingxuan wants to reply, but it’s easier to shrug instead. The market stalls and its crowds may have a different feel for him now, and the early part of their wandering was filled with some unease about it, but the feeling lessened rather than grew. Shi Qingxuan is ultimately happy he accepted the General’s sudden invite. The market represents years of hard work and organization and it’s fascinating to see it anew and listen to the shopkeepers yell out their pitches and drive hard bargains with would-be hagglers, rather than simply swooping in and buying everything eye-catching.
He’s tempted to share these thoughts with Pei Ming but decides he likely wouldn’t get it. But at the very least, he thinks he should get something nice for the General as a thank you. Shi Qingxuan shuffles around for an appropriate (and affordable) stall, but when he turns back to get Pei Ming’s attention, he suddenly finds himself alone.
“General?” Shi Qingxuan calls out pensively. He retraces a few of his steps, straightening to his full height in hopes of spotting him over the crowd. Even if he’d dressed down for his outing to the mortal realm, Pei Ming is still a tall handsome man, with an easily noticeable commanding presence.
No such luck.
How did we get separated? Shi Qingxuan thinks pensively, as he nimbly makes his way through, suddenly finding the crowd less accommodating than before. Snippets of various conversations reach his ears, and somewhere in the sea of voices, one remarks, “Careful – you’ll trip and fall.”
Shi Qingxuan has no idea if those words are aimed at him or if they’re meant in caution or irritation, but almost immediately, he really does stumble, his heart leaping to his throat.
He doesn’t fall though. At the same moment he trips, a steadying hand suddenly catches his waist and pulls him close.
“Easy, I’ve got you,” a low lyrical voice soothes. “You alright?”
Shi Qingxuan slowly exhales, relieved and incensed at once.
“Where did you go?” he demands. “I turned around and you were gone.”
“I could say the same to you,” Pei Ming replies, not letting go. “I was looking at some lychees, then realized you weren’t next to me anymore. Sorry. Were you scared?”
Shi Qingxuan’s face heats up. “I’m not a little kid!” he snaps, freeing himself and straightening out his robes. His heart pounds in his chest, and he realizes a moment later that Pei Ming would have felt it – but it’s only from the near-fall, not anything else!
But with a frown, Shi Qingxuan suddenly slips his hand into Pei Ming’s.
“So you don’t get lost again,” he mutters, not meeting Pei Ming’s amused gaze. “Don’t misunderstand.”
“No, no, just never thought I’d hear the words “don’t get lost” from you,” he says with a chuckle, affectionately squeezing Shi Qingxuan’s hand. “Don’t worry. You won’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Don’t push it,” Shi Qingxuan warns, but doesn’t immediately regret his decision. Pei Ming’s hand is warm. “You said there was a lychee stand?”
“Mm. Want some?”
“Do you?” Shi Qingxuan asks, then quickly adds. “It’s my treat! Don’t even think of refusing!”
“Who can refuse when you phrase it like that?” Pei Ming points out.
“I mean it!” the embarrassment finally fading, Shi Qingxuan grins. “General Pei, did you know you can haggle at these stalls? I’ll get them at a good price.”
“Since when do you know how to haggle?”
“Of course I do! It’s an art!” Shi Qingxuan declares, tugging Pei Ming’s hand. “Where’s the lychee stall? Let’s go!”
Pei Ming laughs. “This I’ve got to see,” he says and leads the way.
#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#heaven offical's blessing#peixuan#shi qingxuan#pei ming#fortune's fanfics#pm really brings out the tsun in sqx haha#i think it's cute?#i had a few ideas for this but this one ended up the most writable haha#it was fun to write though#i like silly slice of life moments like this#also i realized while writing this that both pm & sqx are the types who want to dote on/take care of the other person#sqx might be used to being spoiled but he wants a turn too!
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More Than This VI 《V》
It’s no surprise XL gains his own taste of fame after walking the red carpet with one of the most sought-after actors in the country. He doesn’t mind it, going as far as to create a few social media accounts to interact with fans and scroll through their photos and edits of him. He has a few fan sites too, but only for fancy events where he chooses to be recognized in public.
XL and HC agreed before sharing their relationship with the public that they would maintain a strong sense of privacy when it came to their personal lives. They only share what they want to. The paparazzi who manage to take photos without permission are immediately disciplined so it doesn’t happen again.
(“I can’t believe you did it.”
“Hmm, Gege said he was okay with it.”
“I know! But I didn’t expect you to actually....” XL stares at a recent selfie of them HC had posted on his Twitter, taken the night HC won his award. “We look like we just had sex.”
“Nobody’s gonna know.”
XL raises an unimpressed eyebrow at his boyfriend. HC insists again.
“Nobody’s gonna know-”
“They’re gonna know,” XL says with a sigh, pointing to the hickey marks clearly visible on the photo. HC rolls over closer to XL in their bed, scrutinizing the image on XL’s phone.
“Oh, I didn’t see those when I posted the photo.”
“San Laaang!” XL cries, pushing at the taller man’s shoulder before burying his face into his pillow. HC makes XL breakfast in bed as an apology and promises to not drunk-post anything again.)
Eight months after officially dating–which is over two years since they met–HC asks XL to move in with him. XL doesn’t even need to think about his answer, a simple “Yes! Yes please!” escaping his lips. Both HC and XL’s faces light up with overjoyed smiles.
They seem to have had the same idea about where to live, purchasing a home they’ve been eyeing for months! The best aspects include a massive yard (front, side, and back) for XL to tend to, a hot tub, and a spacious living and dining room area to entertain guests. It’s not the grandest or most impressive residence by size or feature. In fact, the first months have them living in a half-finished, rusty house with the prettiest garden you’ve ever seen.
It gradually gets better. HC and XL knew they would have to do a lot of work to improve the shape of their home. Over the next year, they repair and remodel the house themselves, simultaneously adding value to the property and curating the style to fit their dream home. XL makes sure to post progress photos on his social media. His most recent selfie of HC and himself in hardware glasses got over 500k likes! He pinned HC’s comment that said, “Gege is my own very handyman!”
(HC, in a sleeveless tee, shorts that show off his ass, hair pulled back into a high bun: “Gege, you’re the boss now. Tell me what to do.”
XL, struggling not to gawk at HC’s side boobs: “O-okay, first, can you smash those cabinets-”
Cue them making out against the counter when it’s the only part of the kitchen that is fully done.)
***
Having a partner who considers the outdoors as a second home is a special experience. XL often takes HC on dates to national parks and plant nurseries. They go on weekend camping trips where XL teaches HC how to properly filter water, summit long stretches of terrain, and stay warm during cold nights with below-freezing temperatures.
(HC, trying to fit into XL’s sleeping bag: “Hi, gege-”
XL: “San Lang, you have your own sleeping bag that you can actually fit in.”
HC: ‘But I’m cold. Gege helps keep me warm.”
XL: “Fine. But let’s use yours because it’s bigger.”
HC, kissing XL’s forehead: “Thank you, my love.”)
On their hikes, XL points to different plants, explaining their origins and why he finds each one particularly beautiful. At first, HC picks up random flowers on the way home and then he asks XL about what flower fate gave him that day to gift his beloved. (“San Lang, that’s not allowed!”) HC eventually stores all the random facts in his mind, always eager to listen to XL talking about his passion. He also learns to keep his hands from digging up “poor, helpless plants from their home soil.”
However, this unfortunately doesn't prevent HC from accidentally squishing some plants in their yard that he thought were just weeds.
(HC, thinking he’s a good partner: “Get out, stupid weeds. CHOP CHOP!”
XL: “SAN LANG STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
HC: “Gege always works so hard. I just wanted to help you in the yard today because you deserve it.” 🥺
XL: *sigh* “I appreciate the gesture, San Lang. But those particular grasses took months to grow, and you just killed them-“)
***
Countless media outlets try to stir up trouble like they typically do with celebrities. Especially when HC has roles that involve romance, articles claiming HC and XL are on the brink of breaking up receive lots of attention. However, what gains more attention are the videos the couple posts on Youtube or Instagram live of their reactions to their “scandals.”
(XL, reading a headline: “Actor bachelor Hua Cheng and co-star Yushi Huang seem to be cozying up after a late-night shoot.’”
HC: “I’m not a bachelor, the fuck?”
XL, smiling: “You could be. Me as well. We can be bachelors together.”
HC, chuckling: “All right. If gege is, then so am I.”
The comments: “That doesn’t make any sense!?”
HC, reading another headline: “HC’s lover found with a mysterious third party??”
XL, exclaiming: “Oh, that’s Shi Qingxuan! You know, the designer for all our red carpet outfits!” 🥰🥰
HC: *nodding along*
XL, cheekily: “-and my secret second-lover”
HC: *blanches* “What.”
XL: “Kidding!!!! San Lang is the only one for me, hehe.” *kisses HC’s cheek* “Okay, next one!”)
Everyone watching the videos is 50% confused and 50% entertained as HC and XL make light of any drama the media portrays them in. Viewers accept that of course, the rumors aren’t true; HC and XL are still very much in love.
They’re in love with each other and will continue falling for many years to come.
***
HC doesn’t like watching himself on screen. However, he does enjoy previewing his own movies for the first time with his boyfriend.
While XL watches the new movie, HC observes XL’s reactions. It helps that XL is a conversational movie watcher too. XL’s narrations consist of horny comments during the sexual scenes (“Ooh, that’s hot. Nice tongue.” “Thank you?”), side remarks about the plot and characters (“San Lang, your character is very rude.” “...”), and dramatic reactions to the huge reveal scenes where HC becomes a human punch bag. (“Oh my goooosh, San Lang!! It was him all along- AHH!!”)
As a perfectionist, something you have to be in HC’s field of work, HC is incredibly self-critical of his performance. Which is another reason why it’s nice to have XL watch alongside with, who never has a shortage of praises for his boyfriend.
(HC: “Fuck, why did they leave this shot in the final? I’m supposed to be mourning for my dead lover but instead, I look like I’m crying out of daddy issues. Why did no one tell me!? It looks so bad-” *pointing to himself on the screen* “-stop looking so constipated-!”
XL, squeezing HC’s nape and massaging his shoulders: “San Lang, no one thinks that except for you. You did everything perfectly. Please acknowledge your hard work and just enjoy the movie.”
HC: *sigh* “You’re right. Okay. Thanks, gege.”
A beat of silence. HC cuddles closer to XL.
HC: “Love you.”
XL: “Love you too.”)
***
XL now knows HC’s movies well enough to quote HC’s lines in his movies to make him laugh. HC happily indulges him, questioning after breaking character, “Gege, are you sure I’m the actor out of the two of us?”
One time, HC and XL are in their kitchen re-enacting a scene with HC as the investigator going to a bartender for more information on his suspect. HC has XL caged against the counter, asking in a teasing manner, “How can I repay you for your help tonight?”
XL lowers his eyelids, looking up through his lashes, flawlessly depicting his character. “Any restrictions on your offer?”
“No, darling. Name a price, a brand, a desire. Right now, anything is on the table,” HC says huskily. XL slyly bites his lip.
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
XL brings a hand up to cup HC’s jaw, then smooths it down his neck, traveling down his bare chest. XL tilts his head to expose his neck, wanting to build up his boyfriend’s anticipation. But before he can say his next line, HC effortlessly throws XL over his shoulder like a bag of rice.
“San Lang, wait, this is not how it went in the movie!” XL shouts, a little dizzy from the sudden lift turning him upside down. HC takes long strides to their bedroom, plopping XL on their mattress and blanketing him with his larger frame.
HC only utters a husky “we’re improvising” before diving down to devour XL’s lips. XL’s arms hook around HC’s neck, holding him impossibly close.
***
After a filming shoot where HC’s character gets beaten up–HC performing his own stunts–he heads home beyond exhausted. He just wants to take a relaxing shower and cuddle his boyfriend in their warm bed.
HC arrives at their house a little past midnight. He opens the door and finds XL’s back facing him, quietly humming a song as he takes care of the vase in the living room. The sight makes HC smile.
However, as XL turns around, the vase slips from his hands and explodes into pieces on the ground.
“San Lang! What happened to you!?” XL cries out, the panic in his voice only comparable to the day he had confessed. HC stands in the doorway confused. Was something wrong with his appearance?
XL is on him in an instant, his pupils shaking as he frantically asks, “Does it hurt a lot? What happened!?”
HC blinks, expression blank as he still doesn't understand what has freaked XL out. But as the shorter man gently caresses HC’s face, it suddenly hits him.
The make up!
HC urgently starts rubbing the fake bruises off his face. “Gege, I’m okay! It’s just make up, none of this is real. See?” He holds his hands out for XL to see as the pigment stains HC’s palms. “I’m so sorry! San Lang is dumb, he didn’t mean to make you worry,” HC murmurs as he takes XL between his arms. He really loves this man too much.
XL’s teary eyes shine glimmer as HC embraces him. “Y-you’re sure you’re okay?”
HC nods, leaning into the slender hand that cups his cheek.
“Thank goodness,” XL breaths out as he buries his face into HC’s neck. His next words are slightly muffled. “It looks…so realistic.”
“Yeah, the make up artists are all quite talented, aren’t they?”
XL clings tighter to HC.
“Very much so. Let’s shower so we can properly wash it off.”
“All right,” HC says. “Wait, we?”
XL tugs HC toward the master bathroom.
“Hush, let’s go.”
***
They lay in bed together after four long months of separation. Both of them had been in different parts of the country; HC filmed a drama series while XL traveled for several high-profile projects. Their respective busy work schedules limited communication to brief video chats and text messages, which never seemed enough.
Now, with his head resting on HC’s chest, their legs overlapping comfortably, XL finally feels like he’s where he belongs.
“Why did you choose me?”
Tactical fingers massage XL’s scalp, lulling him into a serene state of bliss. XL nuzzles further into his boyfriend-sized pillow.
“It’s not like I can choose who I fall in love with, Gege,” HC states with a light chuckle. “But if you want an answer, it’s because you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.”
XL looks up at his boyfriend, mouth forming a shape of an O.
“That simple? Even when we made a deal to have no strings attached?” XL asks. HC groans at the reminder of their initial agreement.
“Yes, which was a dumb decision on my part.”
“I agreed to it too. We were both dumb.”
They are silent for a moment. It’s not the first time they’ve talked about or referenced their insecurities when it came to confessing their feelings. XL’s luck when it came to dating someone who could love him for every part of him was practically nonexistent. HC’s constant grappling for his self-identity and worth rendered most of his relationships superficial. And temporary.
Always temporary.
“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t like your plants though. They’re so pretty. And fascinating.” HC says, breaking the silence.
“They take up half our living room space.”
“So? You work with plants all day. They’re bound to be a part of your personal life as well.”
XL’s heart bursts with a sudden fondness. It’s a wonderful thing to be appreciated for the little things.
“I’m glad you think so,” he says happily. HC hums in response, sending vibrations to where XL’s cheek lays on his chest. “I can’t believe I didn’t know you were a famous actor for the first three months we…”
“Met up for sex?” HC finishes with an impish grin.
“Yes,” XL laughs.
“It was nice not to be recognized for once. With you, I could just be myself,” HC says with ease he never thought he would be able to do. He’s struggled with letting himself be vulnerable his whole life. It turns out, HC just had to find the right person. And thank god he did. XL is more than HC’s outlet from his career. He’s become HC’s closest friend who knows him the best; he is HC’s number one supporter in any endeavor he pursues; he makes HC feel important. XL sees and loves HC for who he is. No amount of fame or wealth could come close to comparison.
“Gege?”
“Hmm?”
“Does it ever bother you that my life is always everyone else’s business?” HC softly asks.
“Well, the fame can be a bit…uncomfortable,” XL admits. “But you’re an amazing actor. And a remarkable person. I can’t blame your fans for loving you so much, you know? I also got to ride in a limo-“
“Which you rode very well-”
XL flicks his boyfriend’s forehead.
“You’re so predictable.”
“You would’ve said the same thing given the chance. Don’t lie, gege.”
They go back and forth a little longer, never once creating unnecessary distance between each other as they roll around until they’re on their sides. Facing each other in their bed that’s been vacant for months, HC and XL are inseparable.
“As I was saying, fame is something that comes with your job–your passion. You can’t control it, nor does it solely characterize who you are. Besides, I get to be a part of your life! That’s all that really matters,” XL continues. He shifts forward so their bodies are closely pressed together. XL plants a kiss on HC’s chin, then whispers a confession that tilts HC’s entire world on its axis.
“I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you.”
HC’s world spins and spins until all that he sees is his beloved, gleaming brighter than all the galaxies without the power to disrupt their orbit. He wraps his arms around XL and kisses the top of his head.
“Me too, Gege.”
Bonus:
HC watches wearily as XL salivates at a showering scene where HC’s bare ass flashes in the frame. XL turns to HC with a serious look in his eyes.
“San Lang! Hiking has done your ass wonders.”
XL sneaks a grope to a meaty cheek. HC chokes.
***
“You can’t be late to your own premiere!” XL cries incredulously.
“Try me,” HC purrs into XL’s ear, delicately kissing the lobe.
XL gasps as teasing hands roam around his torso, one of them slipping down to cup his behind. He vaguely thinks about how SQX is expecting them in the next hour to help with their red carpet outfits. But when hungry lips attach to the sensitive column of his neck, XL is a goner.
“Gege doesn’t have to do any work. Just lay back and look pretty.”
(Brainchild with @no-one-says-hi!)
#tgcf#heavenly official's blessing#hualian#hualian au#cerdrabbles#fluff#Actor HC#Landscaper XL#fine.
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Either Warmth or Invisible for the monster prompts?
@fixaidea why choose one when you can do both? ^^ I have no idea if this here is what the prompt intended but this is what my brain came up with^^ so enjoy (hopefully)
read it on AO3
Invisible
Helplessly stuck in the back of Shi Qingxuan´s head, powerless to do anything but be a sympathetic voice trying to console his friend as millenia old grievances finally break their way free in front of him Xie Lian has no time to think too much about anything more then reacting to the unfolding tragedy in front of him. And yet one thought gets stuck in his head, right in between Black Water´s snarling, tear streaked face and Shi Wudu´s cold, godly countenance: That sometimes the true monster isn't the one bristling with teeth and claws but the one hiding invisible behind a facade of righteousness.
Warmth
Xie Lian nearly trips over a tree root in his haste to put distance between him and his pursuers, the sudden stumble making him gasp in reflex before he can get himself back under control, sticky air ripe with spores travelling down his throat and making him cough. Another wave of dizziness hits him and he has to catch himself against the next tree, helplessly pressing a hand against his mouth to prevent himself from breathing, his body still demanding it even though it has stopped being a necessity long ago.
He is exhausted, it feels like it has been hours since he has gotten separated from his San Lang even though it couldn't have been more than maybe an incense stick worth of time since they had entered the wood, expecting some rogue demons or ghosts doing mischief. And they had found a small gaggle of weak ghosts hiding in between the gnarly trees, led by a single low class demon and fleeing from them the moment they saw the Devastation at his side. So they had given chase, not noticing that even though it looked like they were fleeing without any sense of direction they were in fact being led somewhere on purpose...and had fallen right into their trap.
Xie Lian had just been able to pull his San Lang to safety by the back of his tunic, flinging him halfway across the clearing in his haste to get him away from the hidden cluster of small greyish-purple mushrooms he had spotted against the base of a tree before their smell had hit him right on.
Everything else afterward had been a blur, the hallucinations brought on by the mushroom´ spores so vivid and substantial that even though Xie Lian knew that they weren't real he couldn't help himself and fled, sudden panic overpowering every sense of self preservation he might have had. And so he had run, followed by voices long dead, the branches of the trees turning into hands covered in blood gripping for his robes, pallid faces with blood streaked cheeks riddled with a disease that had long since been forgotten by the world hidden in every shadow, something silent and leering in white following his every step, accompanied by indulgent, warm laughter. Every time he had slowed down, his power being depleted by more than just his panicked flight, he could feel feverish hands reaching for him, probing if their prey was finally weak enough to succumb, sharp clawed fingers wrapping around his throat. So far he had always found enough strength left in him to evade them, stumbling away from the hungry shadows hiding behind every tree, slashing at them with a rusty old sword he had found by chance not too long ago while literally stumbling over it´s previous owner´s white, skeletal body.
Xie Lian is so tired that all he can do is lean heavily against a moss covered tree in relief when he can finally hear a frantic, well loved voice not too far away call his name, eyes tightly shut to keep the hallucinations out and call for him. It takes Crimson Rain Sought Flowers only seconds after that to be at his side again, warm hands cupping his face and his single black eye full of concern and worry, inspecting him for injuries before he pulls Xie Lian into a tight embrace, his voice gentle and concerned and soothing. The warmth of his embrace seeps through Xie Lian´s thin robes, feeling like fire against his sweat-soaked skin and he sobs once against a red clad chest, closing his eyes tight enough to hurt. The feeling of tears on his face as his old rusty blade stabs through muscle and bone, nailing Crimson Rain Sought Flower to the tree behind him is the first thing for hours that truly feels real.
And this is how Hua Cheng finds him: Sobbing, slumped down next to a tree, the body of a low class demon hanging from it with an old rusty blade impaled so deep into his chest that only the handle is still visible.
“Gege!”
Xie Lian´s eyes shoot open but before Hua Cheng can fully close the gap between them to hug him he is up like a flash, pulling the sword from the tree with a last burst of strength, it's tip wavering haphazardly against the Devastation´s throat and keeping him at a distance.
“Stop, right where you are.”
Xie Lian´s voice is barely audible, tinged with exhaustion and horror and longing so thick it makes Hua Cheng´s dead heart hurt in sympathy, the urge to just push away the sword and just gather him in his arms nearly unbearable. It would be no problem at all to simply overpower Xie Lian at this point, he is barely able to stand, and to grab him and take him home and have him safe...but he seems afraid of him and so Hua Cheng stands unmoving, his insides twisting in pain at the look of fear in his Beloved's eyes.
“..give me your hand.”
Hua Cheng does not question the order, slowly raising his hand to present it to Xie Lian, palm up, the red string tied around his middle finger vivid in the gloomy forest light. Xie Lian carefully shifts his stance so he can reach, the tip of his sword never once leaving Hua Cheng´s throat. His fingers feel feverish against the ghost's cold skin, sticky with sap and blood, his icy fingers curling around Xie Lian´s warm ones before he can help himself. But just as he is about to withdraw and apologize Xie Lian´s reluctant grip turns into a vice, his shoulders dropping at the same time as his sword does, something between a sob and a laugh escaping his lips as he janks Hua Cheng close in one rough motion, molding himself against him so tight as if he wants to climb right into his Devastation´s skin. Hua Cheng´s arms instinctively come up to hold him close, his God´s sweat-soaked, burning body shivering against the iciness of his own,dropping cool butterfly kisses onto Xie Lian´s dirty hair while he tries to soothe him before he calls for his butterflies to take them home.
Later, after his Beloved has been cleaned and comforted and lulled to sleep by gentle hands and medicine to help him get rid of the last lingering effects of the spores he will come back here and burn this place to the ground until nothing remains but charcoal and soil turned to glass. And Xie Lian will wake to the scent of smoke and white flowers, hold tightly against the cold body of the man he loves.
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oh and hua cheng :eyes:
How I feel about this character
I just, holds him in my hands, how much are you hiding under the devotion and the infinite love for Xie Lian? Show me what’s there when you dig deeper, show me your sadness, your pain, show me your insecurities and your hate. Honestly, when I look at Hua Cheng, I just want to shake him to draw out his inner thoughts.
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Snorts loudly
Listen we know hualian would be here, I’m gonna skip that. I WILL however say that I have once or twice seen He Xuan/Hua Cheng before and honestly, appealing ship. Like, it feels like a more mellow rival ship. And I’m into rival ships, that’s it, that’s my reasoning.
My non-romantic OTP for this character
HE XUAN AGAIN. Their whole mutually-beneficial-hesitant-truce is so fucking funny to me. I just keep going back to the scenes where they appeared together before the reveal and laughing in my head. They just stare at each other from across the room like :^| COMEDY GOLD. I want to see their ghost shenanigans I’m begging you for the love of god shfjkdshfjksdhfksf
Second, I know the novel didn’t ever make it seem like they were close, at all, but I really like whatever there was between Yin Yu. I feel like they present the same age range, more or less, and I adore the concept of the two of them having the kind of friendship that is quiet and just There. Not the kind where they would declare their love or sacrifice everything to save the other, but the friendship where they can sometimes sit down, drink tea, maybe trade casual words that says more than is shown on the surface, small smiles on their face as they trade a look. It sounds nice, just an easy, companionable camaraderie.
And finally, going fully into wishful thinking territory, Shi Qingxuan who’s actually Xie Lian’s friend first, but they’re there often enough not to interact with Hua Cheng. And then them both having the “this person is important to Xie Lian and makes him happy” kind of understanding and having mutual respect for that. Plus, SQX is so friendly and insistent, enough to eventually start seeking out Hua Cheng for his presence alone, not Xie Lian’s, because they think Hua Cheng is a fun person to be around (his sarcasm is hilarious to SQX).
My unpopular opinion about this character
This is more in relation to the novel itself than fandom opinion, but. While the whole thing with the love interest only having the mc and devoting themselves only to them is, well, something MXTX is into (and I���m sure other people too), I’m very much not. I find it more sad than anything. I want Hua Cheng to open up to more people than Xie Lian, to have people who just enjoy his company, for him to be able to play around with others and feel carefree with a handful of people (that he may even consider friends).
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
I wish we were shown or at least told more of the details of Hua Cheng’s past. His family situation, what he went through. It’s implied his parents died at one point, but how soon? What does he remember of them? What things did he hear, what suffering did he endure? It was said in interview that Hua Cheng wanted to kill himself and ruin the parade, and I feel like. That’s something I’d want to actually hear about in the novel itself. I just want to know more about him, please, let me know his thoughts past his feelings for Xie Lian.
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about the shovel. it gets passed around a bit and i started to wonder it might have some symbolic meaning besides being just a convenient shovel. your metas are very interesting so i wanted to know your thoughts
Thank you for writing back!!! Yay, MXTX metas. *rolls sleeves up, clears throat*
So I know the shovel has multiple appearances, but the simplest answer is that it is a symbol. It symbolizes digging into the core, the foundation, of heaven, which is rotten to its core with corruption. Xie Lian claims:
“Lord Earth Master, how did you dig out this tunnel? I’ve never heard that it was possible to dig beneath the heavenly residences in the Heavenly Capital.” It must be known that the foundation of the Heavenly Capital was not the same as the muddy earth of the mortal realm.
Yeah, it’s not the same. It’s worse.
It’s also worth pointing out that the real earth master to whom the shovel belongs (Ming Yi) is an imprisoned skeleton in He Xuan’s lair, a skeleton that only moves to violently attack when someone mentions his title of “Earth Master.” Almost like that too is a symbol of exactly what the gods are: rotting and dead inside, moved to violence for their pride, prisoners (of their own misdeeds). This is also why the shovel is used explicitly only to help the people who have suffered most by heaven’s corruption: He Xuan, Xie Lian, Shi QingXuan, and Yin Yu.. and everyone who digs with it (Ming Yi, He Xuan, and Yin Yu) has a somewhat tragic ending.
Regarding He Xuan… well, he was posing as the earth master and uses the shovel to dig Shi QingXuan out of his brother’s captivity when Shi QingXuan uncovers the truth of what his brother did to He Xuan. Xie Lian notes that He Xuan couldn’t use the earth master’s shovel properly because he was not the earth master: “Why did you think he couldn’t control the Earth Master Crescent Moon Shovel well? Because that didn’t belong to him in the first place! .”
Symbolically, this is also showing how He Xuan’s freeing of Shi QingXuan through the use of the shovel failed in its purpose: he was hoping Shi QingXuan, by then aware of his brother’s crimes, would turn on his brother.
He Xuan whipped around and started pacing back and forth within the hall of Nether Water Manor, growling, “I’ve given you chances!”
Shi Qing Xuan shut his eyes, clenching his fists. Xie Lian recalled that excessively furious “Fine. Very well!” back at the town of Fu Gu, and that scene of ‘Ming Yi’ blocking Shi Qing Xuan’s path to follow Pei Ming in going to the East Sea.
Only, every time, Shi Qing Xuan had chosen to help Shi Wu Du.
He whispered, “…I’m sorry.”
But Shi QingXuan is not that kind of person (which… also likely applies to how he feels about He Xuan though it’s obviously complicated).
The second time is when the Upper Court of heaven’s been overrun by Jun Wu, when Yin Yu appears to dig Xie Lian out, only they both wind up captured and Jun Wu digs to the core of who Yin Yu is to eventually kill him.
“That’s dissatisfaction.” Jun Wu said, “You are bound by his grace and had nowhere to go, so you are only forcing yourself.”
“…”
Yin Yu hung his head and didn’t speak. Xie Lian was breaking out in cold sweat.
He could now somewhat guess how Jun Wu planned to attack, and Yin Yu’s every expression, every gesture, from head to toe, was full of weakness!
“Then,” Jun Wu said, “Let’s turn this around. Let me ask you another question: Have you shown Quan Yi Zhen any grace?”
“…”
Jun Wu continued, “On what basis must you place yourself in a dissatisfactory position to devote yourself and repay kindness when someone irrelevant shows you grace, but when you show Quan Yi Zhen grace, he made you fall this low?”
“Yin Yu, to be in the habit of belittling yourself in order to help others is no good habit. You must know, no one will thank you.”
He was pushing on every step, and each step was trampling where Yin Yu hurt the most!
However, despite him killing Yin Yu, he wasn’t able to completely destroy Yin Yu and Quan YiZhen’s relationship because Jun Wu struggled to understand the complexity of human connection. Even though Yin Yu taking Quan YiZhen’s powers, Quan YiZhen did not hate Yin Yu, and because Yin Yu tried to protect him, Yin Yu is killed.
Regarding heaven’s corruption and the earth shovel... I want to talk a bit more about the foiling between He Xuan and Yin Yu, because they are the two we see digging with it. He Xuan and Yin Yu were both destined for the heavens before corruption saw to it that they were both… well, either didn’t ascend or were cast out. Shi QingXuan and Quan YiZhen are also foils, as are their relationships: designated “older brothers” (Ming-xiong and Shixiong) and socially nonconforming little bros. He Xuan didn’t die in the end of the novel, but he lost the life he had and the closeness that he desperately craved with Shi QingXuan–for now. In the end, he passes the wind master’s fan back to Shi QingXuan, telling him he’s capable of fighting his battles on his own with a divine weapon despite the fact that Shi QingXuan is mortal now:
a hand came swinging, smacked him and sent him flying out... Although Shi Qing Xuan was sent flying, he only tumbled and rolled a few times, sprawled on the ground, and he immediately crawled up, “It’s fine it’s fine, I didn’t die! He didn’t really hit me, he was just lending spiritual powers!”
“Really…”
Shi Qing Xuan examined his hands, then looked at his own body, emitting spiritual light from head to toe...
Just then, “Hua Cheng” flung his right hand, and tossed something at him. Without thinking, Shi Qing Xuan raised his hand to catch, but when he saw what it was he caught, his entire face blanched.
That object was the Wind Master fan!
Seeing this, Xie Lian who was on top of the giant divine statue couldn’t hold back either and asked, “San Lang, wasn’t the Wind Master fan with… the one down there is…?!”
“Pay it no mind.” Hua Cheng said, “I called him over last minute to give a hand.”
Shi Qing Xuan was clutching that dearly familiar fan, his neck stiff, and slowly turned to that “Hua Cheng”.
“Hua Cheng” then repeated again coldly, “Deal with it yourself.”
Essentially, He Xuan yielding not to what Shi WuDu so cruelly did to him, but he is accepting Shi WuDu’s love of his brother (specifically that Shi QingXuan was worthy of that love). He Xuan acknowledges that Shi QingXuan was a good god, one of the best and most capable, that his potential as a god is real. So that’s a step, but whether or not he will forgive himself ever, the novel doesn’t give us an answer.
Yin Yu, on the other hand, dies but his last action was saving Quan YiZhen, atoning for what he had previously done and acknowledging that Quan YiZhen was stronger than him in potential:
Yin Yu continued, “I do want to return to the heavens, I do want to be ranked in the top ten! BUT! If I didn’t manage all that on my own then it’s completely meaningless! I’m unlucky, I accept it! If I’m not as powerful as him, then at the very least I can admit I’m not as powerful as him!”
“ADMITTING THAT I CAN’T COMPARE IS NOT THAT HARD!”
Still, Yin Yu is unable to be at peace with himself, to forgive himself, regretting that he has regrets when he dies, being so harsh on himself he doesn’t see that Quan YiZhen literally never thought of him as weak or a failure. However, there is the solace, for whatever it’s worth, that Quan YiZhen is learning from what happened to Yin Yu and will carry on his memory. Even if he couldn’t be the pinnacle of a perfect godly example to the world, Yin Yu was this to Quan YiZhen.
Both of these relationships thus foil Hualian in the sense that human connection, even if only to one person, is enough to enable someone to live on after death, to achieve the great heights that they never could else wise, to start anew. Human connection is a major theme in TGCF (see: how Jun Wu’s arc ends with Mei NianQing deciding to stay with him), but the novel is honest about how painful connection can be at times. And in some ways, it’s that pain that helps make these relationships beautiful (however you interpret them).
#Anonymous#tgcf meta#heaven official's blessing#heaven official's blessing meta#beefleaf#shuangxuan#quanyin#shi qing xuan#shi wu du#he xuan#quan yizhen#yin yu#ming yi#tian guan ci fu#hualian
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Untethered III 《II》
Hold On – Park Yun Seo
White noise rings through Xie Lian’s ears, replacing the brutal assaults of battle until they fade away into the background. Beads of rain make contact with Xie Lian’s face, soaking his hairline and his clothes. But nothing else matters in this moment besides the ring Crimson Rain holds hostage, away from Xie Lian’s heart.
“It’s common courtesy to answer when someone asks a question, little Prince,” the pirate captain sings, pulling tighter on the ring until the chain feels like it’s going to snap.
“No!” Xie Lian gasps worriedly. His hands fly to grasp the ring, effectively unhooking it from Crimson Rain’s sword, but cutting his right hand in the process. Blood immediately oozes from the small wound, cleansed by the rain and sliding down to splash onto the deck.
Xie Lian grimaces while inspecting his hand. His other palm closes around the ring protectively, pressing the cool surface to his lips. The prince unconsciously closes his eyes, memories flooding his mind, letting through five year’s worth of forbidden euphoria.
He envisions the grungy tavern on the outskirts of the Kingdom of Xianle, where Shi Qingxuan had convinced him to sneak out to explore outside the palace walls. He can taste the muskiness in the air, hear the drunken pandemonium. Shi Qingxuan had eventually gone off to gamble–particularly well-versed in wagering despite being of nobility status–leaving Xie Lian sitting at the bar alone, unsure of what to order.
Xie Lian remembers a mysterious figure taking the seat to his left, draped in a red overcoat with an eyepatch covering his right eye. The stranger did not hesitate to call the bartender over, ordering two beverages with a slight lilt in his baritone voice. Xie Lian awkwardly fixed his gaze onto his glass of iced tap water, hoping his common robes, untied hair, and makeup-less face would go unrecognized.
That, and the fact that he had no experience ordering or drinking alcohol, even at twenty-years-old.
The bartender brought over the eye-patched man’s drinks, setting them down with a thunk! Xie Lian was content to watch for the stranger’s drinking partner from his peripheral vision, perhaps even pick up on how to drink in the proper manner. He would be damned if he didn’t learn one useful thing during this night of freedom.
However, Xie Lian was not prepared for the man to grab one glass and slide it in his direction. Xie Lian froze in his seat, sitting with his back ram-rod straight, hands neatly placed in his lap. Should he kindly refuse the offer? Unsupervised drinking was certainly risky. Or should he take a cautious sip? He would think that was the polite thing to do.
But before Xie Lian could react, the man casually angled his body towards him, leaning his elbow on the bar and propping his face with his palm.
His next words made Xie Lian’s heart come to a complete halt.
“Good evening, Your Highness.”
Xie Lian’s memories abruptly shift, and he is transported to the day when he first saw Ghost Ship. It appeared out of nowhere, easily twice the size of the traveling ship Xie Lian had taken to a neighboring kingdom. When the royal guards jumped to attack, Xie Lian simply held a hand up, stopping them in their tracks.
The prince walked to the side of his ship, assessing the Ghost Ship with keen eyes. Ghost Ship was traveling at a faster speed, quickly passing the royal ship by with no intention of initiating battle. When the better half of its length sailed beyond Xie Lian’s sight, the man steering the wheel came into view. As if in slow motion, Xie Lian locked eyes with the man, who donned familiar red and an eyepatch, and also wore a signature captain’s hat.
A captain. A pirate captain, Xie Lian remembers thinking, captivated by those broad shoulders, tattooed skin, and eccentric clothes. The same pirate captain circles in on him like a hungry shark, scimitar scraping along his arms and back, tearing the drenched fabric of his robes.
“Who knew the Prince of Xianle cares so much for a plain piece of metal?” Crimson Rain continues spitting his words like poison.
Xie Lian curls in on himself, trembling.
When pirates began uncharacteristically wreaking havoc on the docks of Xianle’s ports, Xie Lian often rushed to the scene to fend them off himself. Specifically, a pirate who could give Xie Lian a run for his money when it came to sword fighting, but always escaping with an evil smirk painted across his lips.
When Xie Lian had nearly drowned, those same lips had pressed against his own to breathe air into his lungs.
That had been his first kiss.
A few months later, Xie Lian had snuck out of the palace once again to the very same dock at the end of the port, where a certain pirate awaited him.
The images flitting through his mind now blur together, becoming unrecognizable except for the sensations imprinted on his body.
A warm body claiming him in a king-sized bed, among silken sheets and the pale glow of the moonlight streaming through the window. It was almost too dark to make out the man on top.
Almost.
One lust-filled eye bore down at Xie Lian.
“You like that, Your Highness?” the baritone voice growled into his ear.
Xie Lian hears his answering moan play inside his head and inhales sharply.
Between the secret meetings came secret letters specially addressed to the prince. They appeared with the changing winds, anonymously delivered under the pretense of confidential mail sent from other royalty. But no one could imitate that atrocious handwriting, nor invoke the same joy from Xie Lian when seeing his favorite red, butterfly seal.
Isabella’s Lullaby – Takahiro Obata
“It’s from someone special,” Xie Lian grits out, hanging his head low. The ring–presented to him with the most tender gaze and gentle hands–symbolizes hope. A promise of unconditional love.
“Trust me,” a low whisper ghosted against Xie Lian’s temple. “I’ll come back for you.”
And Xie Lian believed him.
That was one year ago. The spontaneous visits stopped, and so did the carefully crafted letters. With no one to confide in, Xie Lian spiraled down underneath everyone’s expectations and his own realized failure. He had been foolish. Blind. Naive.
Within that one-year period, Xie Lian lost faith.
Not in his love. Never in his love.
But in destiny. In free will. In god.
The one thing, one person, he needed most in this lifetime, was no longer within his reach.
Until now.
“Where will you run now, dear Prince?” Crimson Rain’s voice brings Xie Lian back to the present. His eye holds none of the familiar warmth it once did when he slipped the very same silver ring onto Xie Lian’s finger.
The rumbling and squeaking of footsteps make their way towards the pair, Xie Lian’s royal guards abandoning the protection of the ship to come to their prince’s aid instead. But even as Xie Lian gazes up at Crimson Rain’s, brandishing that strong jaw and classy smirk, the prominent eye patch, and the shimmering eye that radiates insanity, Xie Lian feels a certain sense of peace wash over him.
It’s finally time.
Xie Lian gives the pirate captain a hostile smirk of his own, taking out the white ribbon holding up his hair and letting the rain weigh down his brunet locks.
“Hua Cheng,” Xie Lian croons knowingly, widening his eyes in faux innocence. The instant look of surprise on Crimson Rain’s face is all Xie Lian needs before kicking the pirate’s sword to the side, scattering it a few meters away. Xie Lian dives for the exact sword, adjusting to the new weight and shape of the weapon. His palm throbs where the cut splits further open, blood staining the hilt.
Xie Lian swiftly points the sword at Hua Cheng’s jugular, their positions now switched.
Now, it is the pirates who are yelling chaotically, demanding their captain not let a rotten prince get the best of him. Hua Cheng simply clicks his tongue, signaling his men to retreat.
“Your Highness...” the pirate captain murmurs. Xie Lian digs the sword more insistently into Hua Cheng’s skin, forcing the pirate back. Xie Lian herds him onto the official plank, where traitors are typically executed, sentenced by the prince himself.
“Back. Up,” is all Xie Lian offers bitterly, his long hair curtaining his face, body still tense even though he has the upper hand. Hua Cheng holds his hands up in surrender, his hair drenched with rain, the long braid crooked where it cascades down his right shoulder.
“Xie Lian,” Hua Cheng addresses in a sweeter tone. “My dear Prince, if you could see yourself now.”
Xie Lian swallows thickly.
“You are a beautiful sight,” Hua Cheng rasps out, no more than a whisper. Yet, Xie Lian catches every word, and his heart clenches painfully.
Of course, Hua Cheng would think that.
Xie Lian’s sword wavers, but only because the pouring rain has stolen every bit of warmth as it washes down his body, making him shiver. The prince knows everyone’s attention is on them, the royal guards cheering their prince on in hopes that this conflict will end in their victory.
But they remain unaware of their biggest defeat.
The Prince of Xianle had fallen in love with a pirate.
With an unbearably heavy heart, Xie Lian draws his sword back. Tears leak out of his eyes and stream down his face, mixing in with the rain. In this very moment, Xie Lian feels the most suffocated he’s ever been, and wonders if this is truly what it feels like to be on the brink of death.
As if it happens in slow motion, Xie swings the sword with all the power he possesses. Hua Cheng’s arms stretch open in vulnerability, lips forming into a small, understanding smile.
“Gege.”
Something inside Xie Lian shatters. The familiar term of endearment is for Xie Lian’s ears only. His heart pounds against his rib cage with the ferocity of an imprisoned soul, screaming at Xie Lian to ask not what he would wish for in death, but what is he willing to live for?
The answer is right in front of him.
“I’m back.”
《Bonus I》
#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#hualian#hualian au#xie lian#hua cheng#pirate & prince au#TBC#cerdrabbles#tian guan ci fu#xie lian is going through some things#forbidden love
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