#but you have to admit theres no one else who could take alex hornes place here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

c-h-pictures · 28 days

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TGCF as Taskmaster

Hua Cheng: I hope this doesn't seem disrespectful, Pei Ming, but when I heard you were booked, I was A, delighted, and B, I suspected you would drag this show into the gutter.

Pei Ming: *nods*

Hua Cheng: But. Shi Qingxuan, it would appear, is the person I should have kept my eye on. You said "ooh, look at you with your big pipe", "not even if I took it right to the rim would that one work",

Shi Qingxuan: Is that rude?

Pei Ming: *silently dying of laughter*

Hua Cheng: and then, correct me if I'm wrong. You shook your chest at us

Shi Qingxuan: It was a shimmy!

He Xuan, clearly terrified: That's right, I love you and I love my wife. Equally.

Xie Lian: *carries in a cactus and puts the doughnut on top of it* That's not bad, is it? Through. There you go.

He Xuan: Yeah?

Xie Lian: Are there any spare doughnuts?

He Xuan: To?

Xie Lian: Nibble.

He Xuan: To nibble? Yes, I can get you another doughnut to nibble, that's fine.

Xie Lian: Okay!

He Xuan: Here's a doughnut for you to nibble.

Xie Lian, fiddling with objects: Okay, and that's also a test doughnut.

He Xuan: Did you trick me into getting you a test doughnut?

Xie Lian:

Xie Lian: My time spent collecting scraps. Finally coming in good!

Xie Lian: I've... I've stuck my hands together. That's a bit of an issue.

Hua Cheng: The only thing that's through that doughnut is.

Shi Qingxuan: Yeah?

Hua Cheng: Less than a centimeter of cactus tip.

Shi Qingxuan: I said to Ming Yi, is it through, Ming Yi said, yes.

Hua Cheng: He misled you.

Shi Qingxuan: Why would you do that to me? I thought we were friends.

Hua Cheng: Yeah.

He Xuan: Did you?

Shi Qingxuan: Yeah!

He Xuan: No one's ever said that to me.

Shi Qingxuan: I can't believe you've turned on me like this.

Hua Cheng: Yeah, he does that.

Shi Qingxuan: Yeah.

Hua Cheng: He's no loyalty to anyone.

Shi Qingxuan: Two faced!

Hua Cheng: No loyalty to anyone!

Shi Qingxuan: I'm sat here between sexy and brainy side and then it's ol' chump in the middle.

Jun Wu: I would not have had the courage to pass the toy giraffe...

Hua Cheng: Yeah?

Jun Wu: ... through the doughnut.

Hua Cheng: God, it really does work having an emperor. I almost started to believe it was important, passing a giraffe through a doughnut. It does work!

Hua Cheng: This is going to drive an even bigger wedge between you and Shi Qingxuan, because I'm going to allow Feng Xin the cow.

He Xuan: Well, the cow is the biggest this, it's 800,000 centimetres cubed-

Mu Qing: No, no, hang on. But the image part-

Feng Xin: NO JUST SHUSH HE'S MADE HIS CHOICE

Shi Wudu, putting on the gloves: It's very Qingxuan.

Shi Qingxuan: *poses immediately after getting the gloves on* They work.

Shi Qingxuan: It doesn't have to be standing, does it?

He Xuan: Most accurate sculpture wins.

Shi Qingxuan: Scene! Can you lay on the floor?

Shi Qingxuan: Right, what colour's your hat?

Scene:

Shi Qingxuan: Is it purple? Silver?

Scene:

Shi Qingxuan: Azure? Lemon? Russet-grey?

Scene:

Shi Qingxuan: WHAT COLOUR'S YOUR FUCKING HAT?

Hua Cheng: Mu Qing, I think I saw a moment where you finally realised what show you're on, where you went "Why would he be holding a duck?"

Hua Cheng: During the break. Xie Lian dropped his mike and pack into the toilet.

Xie Lian: I did, I did.

He Xuan: Here's Feng Xin's sculpture.

Hua Cheng: See, I don't know if it's good.

Feng Xin: Excuse me!

He Xuan: Here's the lollipop man they were trying to sculpt.

Hua Cheng: Well, first things first. Xie Lian, you were right. He's a powerhouse.

Hua Cheng: In third, and no one is more surprised about this than me, Pei Ming, is Pei Ming, with three points.

Shi Qingxuan: I'm doing worse than the haunted baby?

Hua Cheng: You're doing worse than the haunted baby. But you will be taking home some points, in this case, two. And in last place, is whatever monstrosity Xie Lian created.

Xie Lian: *laughing and curling up on his seat*

He Xuan: You're going to set fire to it?

Feng Xin: Well, it said the lightest tower.

Hua Cheng: Join us next time to see a highly successful god take home some dirt cheap disco lights and a bop-it. FEEL THE ADRENALINE HIGH!

Hua Cheng: Not long until someone claims this finely crafted trophy. *Motions to trophy of his eyebrows*

He Xuan: Yes, Hua Cheng. I thought this was quite a silly show but it's got quite *motions to the trophy* eyebrow lately.

Hua Cheng: Why don't you shut your stupid mouth?

He Xuan: Is there anything you're looking for in particular?

Qi Rong: Not really. I'm trying to figure out how I could cheat.

Hua Cheng, to Xie Lian: I think you should start a cult or something. It's really compelling, every time you said "I've had a really good idea", I found myself going "yeah, he has".

Hua Cheng: Shi Wudu, please reveal your item.

He Xuan: It's a triangle.

Hua Cheng: Shi Qingxuan, please reveal your item.

Shi Qingxuan: What if I don't want to?

Hua Cheng: REVEAL IT!

Shi Qingxuan, pulling out a triangle: WUDU YOU RUINED MY DAY!

Pei Ming: The first two of those were... Lacking in deliberation.

Hua Cheng: I'm glad you confessed to your crimes early on because I was going to say "Pei Ming doesn't deserve to be punished because he's the only one firing in my direction" and as we were walking down, He Xuan said to me "he was firing at you on purpose".

#i dont ship hua cheng and he xuan #but you have to admit theres no one else who could take alex hornes place here #and then i had to keep the continenty that alex horne was he xuan #tian guan ci fu #tgcf incorrect quotes #hua cheng #xie lian #pei ming #he xuan #shi qingxuan #shi wudu #feng xin #mu qing #jun wu #qi rong

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