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filmbyjy · 1 year

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BUSINESS PROPOSAL > thirty-six! they flirting

a/n: if you didn’t see chapter 35 yesterday…ITS BECAUSE SOMEONE or tumblr DECIDED TO FUCKING REPORT IT AND NOW IT HAS A COMMUNITY LABEL👹

synopsis > being the amazing friend you were, you had helped your friend who desperately did not want to go on the blind date so you went as her. however, you were dumbfounded to find out that the CEO was your friend’s blind date! hopefully, he doesn’t recognise you.

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brightlypainted · 22 days

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I went completely bananas and wrote a full analysis of Joker Out and JO fandom stuff and situation... idk

Hi baby boos!

I’ve seen some confusion regarding JO’s latest announcements and social media activity (or lack thereof) so I've tried to analyze the current situation with a critical eye 🤓

I don't use Tumblr much so you're probably more familiar with my Twitter but I got suggested to post this here for easier reading (and... better audience in general 👀)

Long rant under the cut:

Before I begin I must point out that these are my opinions and theories. I have no idea how JO’s communication and management is being organized right now, I’m just making assumptions based on my perception as a fan 🤷‍♀️

(also I’m a communication graduate but my studies and current job cover this sector only tangentially so I may not know how some/most of this works…)

Let’s start with comparing last year’s situation to the current one: one year ago the boys were riding high on the wave of enthusiasm, having had a successful ESC (despite the ending placement) and having gained a lot of attention as fan favorite competitors ✨

A very high % of the growing fanbase, esp the international one, was coming directly or tangentially through ESC and how do you maintain that attention once the contest is over? you increase your social media presence and you start planning international concerts. which they did!

This constant exposure to content made the fandom flourish: we were all witnessing how easily people from everywhere could join and already feel at the very center of attention, both because JO’s communication was being very active and successful and also thanks to fanmade organizations like JokerOutSubs, group chats, old time Slovenian fans sharing juicy pre-ESC content, etc. I'll be grateful forever

We had a past year that could be divided into 2 halves in terms of communication: it all went extremely well until more or less the end of 2023 (last tour dates in Spain) and then started gradually becoming very odd and chaotic all through 2024 until last month’s complete draught

We know that they mostly tend to manage their online presence on their own, so ofc during breaks and during very busy times is harder for them to find good content to share. They had also been very clear about needing time off their phones all through the London era and the album recording in Hamburg, so that didn’t come as a surprise for fans 🤷‍♀️

But having very sensible, personal reasons to quit/decrease social media presence has unfortunately no meaning in communication, where the laws are very simple: once you stop sharing, you stop existing

I don’t want to criticize their choices, because they are entitled to their privacy and offline time. I’m just pointing out that this very long, hiccup-y period probably could have been avoided with better management and with the presence of a smm/pre-planned sm communication 🙃

It also unfortunately happened concurrently to the new ESC season, which was bound to “organically” erode part of the fandom anyway, and to an EU tour that, although successful, has still highlighted a lazy/bad management and yet again a communication that made little to no sense at times (es. the whole campaign that subtly asked people to go to more than one concert, which clearly made fans with less financial and logistical possibilities feel ‘lacking’ and ‘inferior’) 🙄

In their defense, the tour was to establish a fanbase more than gaining more fans and exposure, so pushing for getting more of a loyal than an occasional fanbase wasn’t completely wrong an idea… it just backfired

And it did because the greatest part of their international fanbase is made of very young people who aren’t financially independent and whose interests are bound to be fleeting and shifting ESPECIALLY when they aren’t constantly met with content production/consumption

Let’s also not forget that having completely shifted their attention to international waters at the expense of the Slovenian/regional fanbase has been very risky. We still can’t tell if the gamble was successful or not

It’s never a good idea to ignore/neglect your hardcore supporters, the very people that helped you raise to your current standards. it’s true they are the most loyal, but they are also very easily the ones that could feel more betrayed

I also think it’s very risky trying to shift the fans’ content consumption out of social media and into a (controlled, easier to manage, ofc) site like Openstage for two main reasons: as said before, complete disappearance from socials means communicational suicide and until now, the “dedicated content” directed toward fans on the site has been… too bland and generic (sorry)(they can learn how to improve that)

Openstage has other very interesting uses tho, firstly the early access to ticket sales and secondly the tracking of international fan presence, which was pretty clearly the main goal and reason why they opened the site in the first place... so it’s not ex ante a bad communication choice, just (until now) one that has yet to show its potential and usefulness

So what now? I think it’s time they make a few considerations and sensible choices to maintain what’s currently the status quo and in order to tackle festival season in the best way

They need to keep their international presence by opening their fanbase to a new kind of fans: festivals bring exposure to bands from a very specific type of fanbase, more interested in music than in contents. If they manage to capture the interest of Sziget people, for example, they could gather a new type of international fanbase less interested in the “social media” content consumption and more in the “I wanna see these guys play again, somewhere else, maybe a show of their own” way

(which, to be completely fair, could be the best choice to cure their current crazy/shifting/confusing fanbase state, giving them more peace of mind, more privacy and a more “normal” rock band experience than the one they had in the past year… that we can all agree has been pretty bad at times)

I personally think this summer season must go in the quantity direction (gaining more new fans) and at the same time in the quality direction (less shows, bigger stages) and this is why some of you are disappointed in seeing so little shows compared to last year or to the SYS tour... I get it

Many of us, me included, won’t be seeing JO live for the whole summer season, and I’m aware that is disappointing, but I hope this analysis has helped you put things into perspective and consider maybe one of the possible reasons why this next phase for Joker Out is being organized this way

I’m still hoping they’ll find a good compromise with their social media communication, because right now I really feel that being the main issue with the gradual but constant drop in traction (please boys hire a smm. i adore jan’s sad edits and the unhinged video and stories like the next person but serious work has to be done too)

Ending the rant on a note of hope: I wish to see you all enjoy the summer and the content to come and I hope for the boys to have a successful, fun season full of new experiences, new music, new people, fresh ideas for the future. I’m honestly very excited for what’s to come! 🌻

#joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #jan peteh #jure maček #nace jordan #long post #analysis

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eepybogboy · 1 year

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so i had heard that some of the newer releases of Monster High dolls were being made with a different type of hair fiber and that a lot of people were upset about this.

i did not, until last night, realize exactly how bad it is.

i had some of the original MH dolls as a kid, but i wasnt able to tap into the collecting hobby until i had become an adult, years after my old toys had already been donated (a tragedy, but not really the point) and before the new reboot was launched. so my doll collecting hobby really began with Rainbow High. i loved that they came with a second outfit, they had long, soft, styleable hair, and they had substance to their bodies! unlike barbie dolls, RH has curves and weight in your hand when you hold them. i thought that was awesome.

anyway. i knew that RH didnt use the saran hair that barbie often used, and that mattel used for MH back in the day and in the reboot. being new to the concept of different types of hair, it didnt matter much to me. i could see the pros and cons of both saran and the type of hair RH used.

now, recently, i tried to buy Skulltimate Secrets Draculaura for my roommate for their birthday, and amazon let me wait a whole month for them to ship it before saying, just kidding, we dont have it, heres your money back. RUDE AS HELL!

well fine. now the SS Fearidescent is out, so ill just get them that one instead. i see in the reviews that her hair type is different, they voice disappointment but ultimately shes still cute and theres not a lot that we, as consumers, can do about it except maybe complain.

and im thinking, whatever, im used to RH hair anyway, and yeah its more staticky but its still pretty soft, so how bad could it be?

well, she came in the mail yesterday, and we were pretty disappointed at just how bad it could be.

ive come to realize that RH hair is not made of polypropylene, the new material theyre giving MH as of this line (ive heard that theyve given g3 clawdeen this type of hair before, which is a whole other can of worms that isnt one of the points of this post), but for rainbow high they generally use Nylon (correct me if im wrong) which is still cheaper and less authentic to real hair than saran, but is still generally pretty soft.

ive never had a doll with pin straight hair (and almost no styling product) feel this BAD in my hands. its coarse, lightweight, and easy to frizz, just from a quick finger comb. i soaked her in hot water and conditioner, and shes only a little bit softer.

i had my partner, who, besides being supportive of my hobbies and listening to me talk about it, knows next to nothing about the differences between types of dolls, feel the difference between the first g3 Drac, RH Karma Nichols, and Fearidescent Drac. on a few quick comparative touches, they noted that saran feels the most like real hair, while RH nylon feels kinda soft but not quite as nice. then they touched new Drac, and all they said was, "ah. depression."

i didnt have my hopes up at all but my expectations were still shattered. i legitimately didnt realize it was this bad. the downgrade is Immense. ive seen people rag on RH hair, and this is WORSE. i seriously cant believe how much worse it is. i didn't think mattel would make a $30 Beloved Brand Name doll with all those accessories and give her DOLLAR STORE KNOCKOFF HAIR, but i guess thats on me for holding a corporation to any sort of production standard in 2023 🙃

anyway, all this is to say, hair fiber snobs, im so sorry and i get it now. this shit sucks.

#my only hope is that MAYBE mattel will see everyone complaining about it and realize they can't keep getting away with it #but people are obviously buying them anyway so who knows #if the monster ball line has poly hair im gonna be so fuckin mad legitimately #why would they do us like this #the SS drac i wanted originally has saran hair #but EVERYONE wants her so she's been at scalper prices on amazon CONSTANTLY and i cant find her at target at all #if this shit continues ima have to go back to my Discount at walmart. fuck.#im not shelling out $30 for a doll they cut corners on.#playing with their hair is half the reason i like having dolls #the other half is the clothes #but petting their hair is a sensory stim for me and they literally ruined it #the straight haired RH dolls are my favorites because theyre so silky #even if they do get staticky if i brush them too much. at least the fibers are smooth #i didnt realize id be so upset about this but i also didnt realize it would be this fucking bad #anyway.#monster high #rainbow high #dolls #mh #rh #monster high skulltimate secrets #monster high fearidescent #draculaura #monster high draculaura #doll collector #📝

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dylanobriengossip · 7 months

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Dylan O'Brien's new problematic girlfriend Rachael Lange (2023) I Part 2

Part 1 I Part 3 I Part 4

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse…. more disturbing things came to light.

Taylor Swift, Harry Styles & Selena Gomez

Everyone knows Dylan is a Swiftie and also starred in Taylor's "All Too Well: The Short Film" and they have also been friends for a couple years now. Let's see what Rachael thinks of Taylor:

Interesting... because back in 2011 she claimed to be a Swiftie. 🙃 Rachael (2nd from the left) with friends at what seems to be a Taylor Swift concert. The caption of the pic that one of her friends shared (fb): "Taylor Swift! Never grow up…stay this little.."

Dylan is also a fan of Harry Styles.

And many years ago Dylan used to have a crush on Selena Gomez.

After Rachael got exposed:

She went private on Twitter and deleted over 400+ Tweets (which is already an insane number) but yet still hasn't managed to delete all problematic ones 🤦‍♀️

Blocked those who called her out on all her social media accounts

Deleted the Instagram post (she had during that time) where everyone commented and called her out

Restricted the comments on all her Instagram accounts so only the ones who follow her can comment now

She also censors the comments, only those comments that praise her and whatnot are accepted to show up in the comments

Untagged herself from all the posts she was tagged in where you can see her with Dylan at the Ami Paris Fashion Week Show

Rachael deleted this video after she got backlash for it

Deleted the TikTok video where she was called out but forgot to delete the comments on her other videos

Deactivated her TikTok account but made it public again recently

The Apology

January 23, 2023 After doing all these things to hide what she did/said in the past she posted this Apology on her Twitter (obviously it had to be shared there bc that's where it happened) but it was also good enough for her to share it in a 24h TikTok Story.

You probably ask yourself why are people still upset about it. She apologized and everything is okay now. No not really because she never shared it on her Instagram account where her most followers are and obviously people also called her out on there too and not just on Twitter and TikTok. And let's be honest after all those things she said more than just that apology should have been done. So if that doesn't speak volumes... And not to forget all those marginalized communities she offended and hurt by those words. Do you really think they will be like: "She was young and didn't know better.", "Now she apologized. Just let us brush it under the rug." Even if you're not someone from those communities just take some time to think about how you would feel if you were in their position. Doesn't feel great right? So don't expect them to just accept that apology and forget about what she said. It doesn't matter what age you are. There never was and never will be a time when it's okay to say any of those things. So many other people in that age know that this is wrong and never did. So please stop defending her. She was old enough to know saying these things is wrong but kept doing it anyway. Was that apology (if she even wrote that herself or got somebody else to do it for her) genuine or not? That's up to you to decide and if you accept that or not. Everyone thinks differently about this and has a different opinion.

But think about this. What does it tell you about a person who:

After being exposed was like: "Oh no. Wait let me quickly go private on Twitter to try to remove all of that so no one can hold that against me anymore." (Screenshots exist for a reason so that didn't make things better for you or made ppl forget that js).

Again never shared that apology on her Instagram, the place with her most followers

Waited until things cooled off and didn't post anything until like a month later and came back with a post to make promo for her brand (Seriously!?! You've got to be kidding me). 🤦‍♀️

You would think someone who said all those things would do more to prove to people that they changed especially after that big amount of disgusting things. But what is Rachael doing? She keeps ignoring the elephant in the room and went back to regularly posting as if nothing happened. And remember that part where she untagged herself from posts about her and Dylan? Well.... the more and more she felt safe and made people think she changed the more she made their relationship public on her Instagram. While (as always) keeps ignoring the fact that this is damaging her & her boyfriend's reputation/image even more thanks to all those things that came out about her. How? Read that here

And as if all of that hasn't been bad enough already. They also found these:

TikTok

Rachael posted this video on her TikTok account back in 2021.

"I’m grossly proud of my scrunchie and bag coordination #fyp"

Funny you say that Rachael because...

x, x, x, x, x, x

Source

Her old AskFM account

Ana (Logan Lerman’s girlfriend) you should keep an eye out on your new bestie Rachael. 👀

Her Family

Rachael with her parents Michael and Shirley and her brother Kyle Lange.

Her brother

"In 2014, a warrant was issued for the arrest of Kyle who was 21 at the time of Friendswood, for Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Kyle and his girlfriend were fighting in the driveway of Lange's residence in the 2000 block of Pebble Lane on August 12. The girlfriend called a friend to pick her up, but when the friend arrived, Lange allegedly threatened them both with a handgun. His bond was set at $80,000 for the Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon Charge, but no bond was set for the drug charges since Lange was serving two years of felony probation for Possession of Psilocybin." Source I x

Then there are these 2 Instagram Stories of him from 2023: x, x

Rachael and her mom

and then there's this more recent one of Rachael from a couple years ago.

#dylan o'brien #rachael lange

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hummingbird-games · 8 months

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Dev Diaries

October 1, 2023

My goodness, it's the first devlog post-Crushed release!! How did that happen???

And where the heck has 2023 gone?!?! 🙃

Okay, pausing--for like four seconds--on the sillies, I've got some updates for y'all, so have a seat and get comfy.

Crushed updated build is out!!!

Now with the rest of the partial voice acting!!!

It was a super fun experience with the VA and I giggled a lot to hear the words I wrote spoken into existence. I think the next project I work on with voice work will also be partial. However, I can't imagine doing a whole game with full voice work. I can feel the mental break down from that possibility making its descent....

The postmortem was longer than I anticipated it to be, so it shall be posted separately (and with a read more for your scrolling needs) sometime! I go into (more) details on my inspiration and the process from hesitant idea, to jam entry, to a full-blown game, and all the heartbreak and burnout and catharsis in between!

You can also search 'gamedev rambles' or 'crushed vn' where I've already blabbed about Development Tingz LOL.

2. The HBG Twitter account has been nuked.

Yeah. Apologies if this is how you're finding out about it. I honestly have no idea where my audience is located as y'all are a quiet (but supportive) bunch. But for me as a player, it hurts because many of my peers are only on or are most active on Twitter.

However, me and the bird app have been at odds for a while so I guess it was just a matter of time... 🥲

3. Game Jam Gemini Mode

Alright, time to get serious-serious. (HA!)

While I was Fighting The Good Fight concerning getting Crushed up before the summer ended, I started dropping hints about the next project I wanted to work on with Yuri Jam (and Once Upon A Time jam) coming up.

Well. After giving it some thought, forcing myself to pause long enough to breathe, catching up on personal reading and other things, and again, giving it more thought: nope.

I could ignore this decision which I hate and push on anyway, but the consequences are not ones I want to deal with, nor will I be physically able to handle. (Yes, this is a direct reference to my health lol).

My plan about this time was to start reaching out to people and create a team--given that I banged out a script at lighting speed just so I knew what roles I needed and was prepared. I'm still not sure where that burst of frenzied energy came from, but it's gone now.

And then in between making Crushed live and getting the first voiced update done, I started to feel really weird. Like "Hello, Anxiety My Old Friend" weird. And I kept berating myself for dragging my feet, especially as Yuri Jam (and OUAT) are so 'chill' and 'easy-going' and why was I still freaking out? What was wrong with me???

Anyway, once the last voiced update went live, it hit me how utterly exhausted I was. Still am(?) So it's insane to think I was somehow going to have enough energy to lead a whole ass team to create one more project before the year ends. Even if said project was under 5k words.

Even as I write this saying I'm done, a part of me keeping scheming up ways to make it work.

But I wouldn't be doing it for the right reasons anyway (i.e. feeling like I should participate in more jams because every other developer is and I'm a bad indie dev if I don't, and feeling this desperation to prove I can tell other kinds of stories. ahahahaha)

A L S O I am broke 😂 And money talks louder than anything else!! This was the year--and continues to be the year-- of medical expenses and emergencies so like...gotta recover from that too.

The Knight Dance (my short Yuri idea) shall return, but next year at the earliest. And who knows? It might benefit from me not working on it now. Or that's what I'm telling myself so my brain will chill.

4. Tackling Ko-fi

I keep saying I'm going to start putting content on ko-fi, or posts, or something, and I keep proving to be a liar. That ends soon!

I've been playing around with the idea of adding both content for subs and one-time donators as well as free content, these things all exclusive to ko-fi. So there's an incentive to you guys to visit and an incentive for me to keep up with it.

There's a lot to the world of HSD/Crushed that just didn't make it into the games, and probably won't for a while, and then there are drabbles and longer stories that would be fun to write and share for anyone who's curious.

Okay!!!

In conclusion!!!

Go play Crushed!! Go support some game Kickstarters!! Go support a Pateron/Ko-fi of your fave creator!! Go replay some games!!

And watch this space for the Crushed postmortem and my yearly games & demos wrap up!!

And maaaaaaaybe catch me on the sideblog where I embody the cringe gamer girl I truly am???

~ Gemini

#gamedev #crushed vn #the knight dance #updates and rambles

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shinmiyovvi · 10 months

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Hello hello! Poppin in to see how you're doing!

I've been a bit absent so I've come to wrack your brain, any new updates or projects you'd want to share about??

I hope you're doing well Shin!

Hello, Spengs, hope you're doing well too 💖 This is gonna be a long read so buckle up

I did some think thonkin for a while even if my brain was already wracked when school started last week (Senior year was now being an ass on me for a freshman as myself) but anyways, enough of that. Let's jump in to what I have in mind for my projects and updates

Update: Barely hanging while trying to run this abomination of a blog with changing the blog's color, header, and tumblr website's theme while dealing with school and trying to brace myself this Saturday for my birthday as I try to accept that I am now getting older 🫠 (Also forgive me for throwing a bunch of MW content if you ever come acrossed with it)

Art Projects: Now, I am atleast trying my hardest to bring myself to draw my Cod MW oc Noemi in which I haven't quite made a proper reference sheet for her. Now that MW3 2023 was announced and will be releasing on November(?), I need to work on her new design for the sequel. I have made her MW2 2022 design and not with her MW1 2019 which is I am planning to do. Her info was still on a wip and the shipping was somehow changed? To tell you what, Noemi is turning into an oc/self insert and I am not complaining about it. Going to CoD Zombies, you thought those reference sheets of my ocs are final? No, and I hate it 🙃. There is just so many ideas of changing their outfits and I rarely even draw the Ultimis versions of them and also my other oc crew Salvatorix. I even have a lot of changes for my self insert design as well and need to work on it as soon as Christmas break comes or in Summer. I also need to add some casual outfits for my ocs for easy drawing cause I know sometimes whenever we had an art trade together, I feel like the designs are getting the best of us so I am hoping to draw their casuals to give ourselves a slack. But if you're still fine with their usual outfits then that's fine by me 💖. I'm still working on with my ocs' infos and also the Ultimis voice claims so stay tuned if I ever find a gap to my time to work on it. I will also make some references for the fic I am working on which is an oc x canon one. Lastly, I need to draw my SoE oc cause I haven't even talked or posted something about her for months now.

Fanfiction Projects: I still have 3 fics that are discontinued or still ongoing but ran out of ideas.And now we have 2 new additional fics. I've answered this from an ask from a friend of mine but I'll tell you as well. Under the Red Moon and Echoes of a Certain Past are two fics that I've planned. Under the Red Moon is an old au concept for the Primis crew but I changed the idea and use it for the lore change of the Vampire Knight and Noble Prince Au from before. Basically the story will be an oc x canon one since it focuses on Primis Nikolai and Primis Val. Echoes of a Certain Past is a fic that will be containing the past of my ocs, from Primis to Ultimis as the story will be divided into two parts, separating the two from each other. In the story, the story will be divided into four parts for each oc, starting from Val to Dragomir. If you want to know where to read them, these two stories will be posted here, Ao3, and in Wattpad but I'm still undecided to post in Wattpad since I've already made their cover pages of the two stories but let's see how these two will unfold. I may be a bit rusty when it comes to writing but I will try my best to make you all entertain as I will also try to research more and more about my ocs so atleast I could add up the historical vibes of it even if there will be also inaccuracies so please bear with me on this.

#asks #ask answered #so many plans and it pops up into my head in the worse time possible :'>#I may not guarantee you that there are parts of these projects will happen actually

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wujico · 5 months

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first post.. wow hello void. this is a little more awkward than i thought. i know i should treat this like im writing on paper again in my little taco journal i got from my friend back in elementary, but... idk maybe its the thought that somebody might read this that puts me off. and also the fact that i just.... havent written anything in any sort of journal since i was 16 and making goodbye letters (ToT) what a life

anyway today is a saturday... well its sunday morning at 5am but im riddled with anxiety and cant sleep so :,) im trying to keep my thoughts busy. i work again tomorrow, only six hours which is usual for me, but its fucking -50⁰ where i live rn and I REALLY dont wanna force myself out of bed..... ugh

but ive been really good at never skipping work unless im throwing up all over the place so :,) speaking of that, i just got done being sick with the flu for the SECOND TIME within two months !!!!! i have a horrid immune system.. most of the time when im sick i spend hours rotting away in my bed and on the bathroom floor... these two times were no different

i genuinely was up at like 5am unable to sleep sobbing in my bed because it hurt so much !!! i gen wanted to die lmfao i hate being sick

but its whatever... at least i got to talk to 🍀 while i was high on meds and a 39.8⁰ fever... i said some funny shit but he just entertained me... i love looking back at our messsages.. he really seems to care for me.... crazy

neway yes saturday.. today.. what did i do- well i had work. i was stressing the entire day over being able to get my hw done for uni classes on time but then i just.. decided not to work on it at all. idk.. work was okay. i love working. even though its a a gross fast food restaurant with shady people coming and making a mess 24/7. all that bad cancels out when it comes to my cowokers. ive had so... so so so many people ive loved at this job. people ive loved more than i should and who have left me (WHATS NEW) BUTTT thats a story for another day

well anyway i got to see one of my besties who is always talking about her boy troubles ... i think everyone still thinks im a lesbian there since im not out to them as trans and have a gf 🙃 its kinda funny.. especially with all my male coworkers

who can just goof off and be close to me without the added stress of thinking its going to go anywhere (for the two of us).

wow this is already becoming so long shksjjsskjslk i have a feeling each post is gonna be like this... just a ramble about my life

anyway. i went home and immediately one of my headmates made himself know... his names nikki and hes... newish? hes been around since august 2023 but just recently showed himself. well we played sky together for a while, just the two of us. i sorta.. soft called out 🍀 on my discord status saying something like "chill cr w/ nikki!! anyone can join!" hoping theyd join my game LOL

well it was a call out to any one of my sky friends on disc (my new friend mochi actually ended up seeing it and we got to talk propery on sky for one of the first times... i was so happy)

i felt bad for 🍀 at first because he couldnt see mochis chat messages while we were having a whole ass conversation with 🍀 piggy on my shoulders... but they added each other a little later and i think the convo went well :)

🍀 's sky friend actually joined us as well.. i dont know her... nor do i really care that 🍀 seemed so close with her (well that was definitely a lie i told myself)

im so jealous LMFAOOOO definitely problems related to being stuck in a toxic friend group for 12 years BUT AGAIN thats a story for another day

anyway i was a bit sad at first because there are just things you cant say in a chat with your queer platonic partner when theres a random who you sort of know but have never personally talked to... so i shut off a bit... nikki tho bless him wtf was like- urging me to stop being so closed off towards sky friends sjhdksjsk especially because this person was really nice and even asked if she could tag along (which i said was fine because i cant say no to anything, no matter how hard i try)

it got better tho, when mochi joined

i really am a horrible person, because i felt i finally had equal grounds on 🍀 by being able to talk to mochi while they couldnt

curse being literally delusionally attached to 🍀 because he is my o n l y true friend !!!

i really am selfish for wanting to have all his attention. i am such a shitty human being

anyway... we went to eden (i lead everyone) and then sat and talked for a bit. being on equal ground with mochi about our interest in skz was super refreshing. its been a while since ive talked to anybody... but i recently joined the sky server and mochi and a few others dmed me

half way through i saw me and 🍀 's mutal friend come online.... ill call him 🌟 on here.... i only recently got to know him because i was online on sky alone and decided to join him.. he was doing quests by himself so i got some 1 on 1 time with him and omg hes so cool

i always have this habit of putting everyone else in an "untouchable" catergory, because everyone compared to me is just so much better. i guess i idolized 🌟 in a way because i never got to talk to him... he was only mutals to me through our sky friend group

anyway after that 1 on 1 i immediately felt so amazing and i wanted to talk to him every chance i get... so after mochi left and he hadnt joined our game (which was suprising because i was with 🍀 and the other person who are close to 🌟 and he likes them a lot better than me so i thought hed join one of them.... but he didnt) so i just went and joined his game immediately

i kinda ditched 🍀 but its whatever, i was still in a bad mood from earlier

i was kinda upset and sad all day so.... i was distant in my head and wasnt talking to anyone.. but that wore off the moment i got the chance to talk to 🍀 again

which was when my dad suprised me with mcdonalds !!! i really felt gross after eating it- and still do- but it helps sometimes. to eat that garbage.. ive always been a binge eater

where the hell even was i

yea i teleported to 🌟 to hang out with him and 🍀 warped to me... i didnt really mind because theyre both super cool and my idols but i got a dry ass greeting from 🌟 wheres as 🍀 got a enthusiastic one !! so yeah immediately i was like aight i see how it is

but 🍀 left to do a cr so i got more 1 on 1 time with 🌟 WHICH WAS SO NICE!! i feel like we are getting closer and closer everyday... anyway he was playing some music and i offered to stay and listen and it was gen so nice... i wanted to fall asleep just listening to him play hehe and after every song id complement him and we'd talk about what hed just played (if it was from a game or a movie) .... and well he seemed gen grateful for the compliments which made me fill up with pride

eventually 🍀 came back but i didnt really mind since i got my 1 on 1 time and i enjoy talking to both of them anyway

we had a nice convo going then 🌟 left

i always feel so prideful when i can make people laugh, even though it might even just be a lol or hahaha

then me and 🍀 had one on one time... which is what brings me to writing this

he mentioned he had a secret tumblr diary. this isnt the first time he mentioned it- back when we met irl he said if i could find it i could read it.... i tried to find it lol but couldnt so i just gave up

i didnt even think about it again until tonight.... i thought about trying to find it again but then i was like- yk what would be a better idea !!! make my own !!

so yeah i got the idea from him... a little secret vent diary place that i hope nobody can find (especially him, but if you do find it, im sorry LOL)

really i kinda wanna go looking for his but.... idk after making my own im just like how fucking awkward would it be for him to find mine and read it 😀😀 LIKE THAT WOULD BE SO BAD

so ive given up again

im gonna wait until he shares it with me.. idk when that'll be, but maybe when he does ill have wrote a lot on here and can share this with him as well

after all, i am kinda crazy. ill tell him every little secret about me if he asked.

i have so much to say but no brain power left. oh well

- ji

(1 / 13/ 2024)

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gxtzeizm · 1 year

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Ciao

Im so excited because of Christmas!! I really Want to tell you who I am! Follow you and reblog everything!

So argentina won! Was an Interesting game to be honest, France did it so well, anyways 🙃

Hope your having a good week! Can’t believe the year it’s almost over!! Are you planning something for new year???

-your secret Santa

heyyy there bestie <33

i'm so glad that you're excited to interact with my posts and so am i <33

well yeah, finally our 1 month of suffering is already ended. what i can say that it was an intense match during final minutes literally. yeah actually i was completing my lab exersices during the match so i was not really focusing on the match for about 70 minutes, then the 2 goals straight by france made me pay attention to it. actually, i'm not liking both of the teams but i'm really don't want to argentina to win tho istg. at some point during extra time i was really hoping that some french players did like mario götze did during 2014 especially who played for bundesliga lmaoooo (and it's funny that yesterday i was wearing his jersey during 2014 wc just to curse them but it not works tho how unlucky it was )): ). anyways, icl france did it so well yesterday especially for upamecano (oh my goddd he's really into his redemption arc this year i'm so glad he's part of bayern <33) and kolo muani as well (also proud of him as an eintracht frankfurt he'll have a long future coming on <33). but yeah anyways, everybody moved on but i'm mentally still here (stuck in the wc 2014).

it's so nice tho for me to take a little break from watching intense sports. well yesterday also i was excited that alex albon finally on his live stream after a while and yeah, i hope he make the twitch quartet reunion happen right now. i can't wait to see four of them being chaotic there <33.

that's true tho!!!! i can't believe we are about 11 days left to enter 2023...how time flies. hmmm i'm not yet planning anything for the new year actually, but maybe i'm just spending my day off with my friends or going back to my family's house i guess. what about yours? and do you have any specific goals for 2023?

have a nice day 💖

#ask #secret santa

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