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hailsatanacab · 7 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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wellfine · 11 months

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I mowed him sorry (← guy who thinks buzzed heads are handsome)

#one piece #roronoa zoro #baseball player-lookin head.....#descriptions in alt text #was talking with a friend about this and we decided ace went thru a stage of hating hair cuts/brushing as a kid #so when it got too tangled dadan would just shave it all off for him bc it was less uncomfortable in the long run #and luffy now has a cain instinct to slap the shit out of any bald head he sees #which is bad bc now he's a million times stronger so zoro nearly got OHKO'd #don't worry he ate a handful of walnuts and recovered (they're good for the brain)

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turtleblogatlast · 5 months

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Big Mama must have lost some serious standing in the yokai underworld because it’s gotten apparent that she keeps being beaten by a small group of teenagers and the occasional rat man, and when it’s not them then she’s taking L’s from her own schemes working against her.

And in the ensuing power vacuum, the Hamatos accidentally become the most feared crime family known to all the big bads of the Hidden City.

After all, they’ve publicly outplayed Big Mama multiple times, a couple of them have taken out the heads of two of the most well known criminal organizations, one took out Heinous Green, two are responsible for the destruction of Witch Town, they have ties to both the infamous Baron Draxum and Captain Piel, they won the Doom Dome death race, they’re Battle Nexus Champions, they’ve displayed insane feats of power and defeated impossibly strong enemies, most of them have been to jail, and they regularly mingle with humans.

You can just imagine the notoriety they’d accumulate from word of mouth alone.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise of the tmnt #I didn’t even list everything the Hamatos are MENACES #it’s so funny #bonus if none of the Hamatos realize how terrifying their presence in the Hidden City has become #every time Leo goes to bother Hueso the guy just has his head in his hands like Pepino…I JUST got my brother out of crime…and now you???’#Leo’s just like ‘lmao what crime’#meanwhile a trail of destruction follows them wherever they go #just look at the library smh #the small time yokai villains hearing about how scary the fam is and having two different reactions #one being no way are we talking about the same babies tripping over themselves and barely beating anyone #the other is oh god I barely escaped with my LIFE huh #sunita listening to all the worry her parents have about this new ‘Hamato Family’ and laughing inside #she tells April and April keeps it a secret to see how long it takes the others to realize it #when accused of crime Donnie accidentally and largely unprompted starts denying his digital asset thefts and then has to deny he denied it #when he learns of what is thought of them Raph has a crisis the poor boy #Mikey’s happy they’re ‘known for being a family!:)’#he - kinda terrifyingly - kinda likes the thought of that lol #Leo: 🤔 think I could go back to that hair spa then? (no)#in their defense while they are MENACES society is ALSO a menace to THEM

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kujakumai · 2 months

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If you think about the futurism/technology acceleration implied by the manga-DSoD timeline too hard you will hurt your brain so bad. Yugi is depicted using a tablet and Mokuba has a smartphone a year after real-world Google was founded

#well we skipped all that because kaiba did it and its kaibasearch or something now and everything is happening 20 years in advance #it's fine it's fine don't worry abou it

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evilminji · 4 months

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You know how in Naruto, Sealing is a Finicky Art?

It's like computer coding, calligraphy, and symbolism had a super-powered/reality bending baby. You gotta think in VERY ADHD twirls and swirls too be any good at it. Which is why the Uzumaki rocked it so hard. But I digress.

Is Complexe AF.

Bends Reality and is EASY to fuck up.

Wanna bet? The BEST way to learn/use it? Is to copy already functioning examples? But Oh! How do you KNOW they are functioning? Safe? Well OBVIOUSLY, your Skilled At Seals teacher looks at it first! THEN gives it too you!

Using random seals you find in the dirt is how you get splattered across three different countryside in peices, after all. Possibly take out a nearly Town or two while your at it. No One Is THAT Dumb... RIGHT?

Enter Stage Right o/~☆ Humanity, Everybody! *polite, if strained, golf clapping*

They ABSOLUTELY Are!

Especially Ninja!

Ninja who, after fuckin MURDERING A WHOLE ASS VILLAGE OF SEALING MASTERS, decided to pick through the rubble! Because THAT is gonna work out GREAT! After all... it's not like you just KILLED the fuckers who could tell you what IS and IS NOT functional!

Was that once the "hazardous advanced class' sealing failures" bin? Or was it the "super awesome candy and rainbows" stash!? You don't know. NO ONE DOES NOW. You fuckin KILLED THE PEOPLE WHO DID.

They had their own REGIONAL Sealing Script.

You know, the one they taught to THEIR STUDENTS. Not outsiders. The students you KILLED, you absolute fuck nuggets. But hey! The threat of the Super Scary Sealing Masters is no more! Good job. You've successfully burned down the library. It can't hurt you ever again.

But NOW? You have piles upon piles of GIBBERISH.

You can only VAGUELY tell the novice seals from the master's. And even then? Do you have any idea what most of them DO? Nope. And after a certain point in training? The shaky, uncertain hand writing becomes smooth enough, that it all blends together in "Seals".

Now... what is the SMART thing to do?

Curse your hubris and the atrocities your fear allowed you to commit, obviously. But BEYOND that, Don't Touch Them. But we're Ninja. So WE are all suicidal idiots. The less smart but still Reasonably Precautionary thing to do? Study the amateur Seals. Learn Sealing from other masters.

Crack the Regional Script and slowly, painstakingly, work through each seal as we sort out what is and isn't safe. What can be salvaged. What can be used and how.

A process that will likely take years if not decades.

But of course, that's not GOOD ENOUGH for certain grabby handed, power hungry, short sighted, fuck weasels! No, no. It much EASIER to just throw human life into the blender until profit pops out! Completely IGNORING, of course, that SOME of these?

Could very well be the "Too Dangerous To Ever Use/Will Destroy Us All/Take Them All With Us" type of Seals that Kage usually LOCK UP. The kind you CAN'T destroy once you've made them, because the fall out would be WORSE. And?

Even if you are a murderous, middle management, go nowhere in your life, BASTARD of a ninja? Sometimes you can look down at the massive, intricately detailed, killer off nation's before you. Something that was WRAPPED in locks upon locks upon chains upon seals. And KNOW in your selfish, survival at all costs little heart... You DO NOT want anyone to fuck with this.

You CAN NOT let anyone fuck with this.

NO ONE can be allowed to touch it.

Not for ANYTHING.

You may fear S Class Kage and Missing Nin and what all else they may do to you. But THIS? Your eyes can't even properly FOCUS on it. It's like a tunnel that's lined with poetry, stretching all the way to the Earth's core. It's perfectly flat. It moves, a gentle rotation. But is that just your eyes, tricking you?

So much ink, it swallows the scroll, and this is when it's COMPRESSED.

How many nations?

How many NATIONS must this monstrosity span, when free?

It must have taken a Master decades, if not their entire life, to complete. Possibly a family, several generations. But... but gods it is a work of MADNESS. No wonder it was sealed. It speak, you... you THINK... of Death...

Of it's KING.

Something BEYOND the Shinigami. BEYOND Death and the Purelands.

Who the FUCK would try to summon something beyond GODS? Did they think they could control it? Chain it like the bijuu? You're so cold inside. Because you KNOW. You fucking KNOW, the ambitions and arrogance of those above you.

They'll think they can.

They won't listen.

You... you have to take this and RUN. You stand no chance. But no chance is better then oblivion. Anything is better then standing by and watching it happen.

You obviously don't make it. You never expected too. But at least... at least you won't have to watch whatever THAT is... arrive... fuck...

At least you TRIED.

And? Because leaf Ninja, specifically certain teams, have the MOST Shit luck imaginable? They arrive, having crossed paths with several other teams, on the way back home (yay! Warm food and real beds!) Just in time to see a desperate looking ninja from one of the small villages get fuckin pincushioned. Drop what is VERY clearly an Uzushio Scroll of considerable size and SEVERE SSS+ DO Not EVER Touch Grade Type Markings, and then some joining from that same village go to grab it.

Notice them.

You know... the multiple LEAF NINJA. Who TOO THIS DAY, wear the UZU swirl on their uniforms as a mourning tribute to the DEAR AND PRECIOUS ALLIES they could not save. The Uzushio Allies. Those ones. The ones that were, in fact, from Uzushio.

LIKE THE SCROLL YOU ARE HOLDING.

By the WAY! How DID you get that Scroll? Doesn't seem like something our dear friends would just HAND over, now does it? You didn't happen to LOOT THEIR FUCKIN GRAVES did you? Cause we sure would be MAD about that!

Real Mad.

Dude obviously panics. Because that? That is a VERY pissed off bunch of Ninja, many in the bingo book, one of whom is Very Clearly throwing off BIJUU CHAKRA. And just said "my family's" Ha ha... Oh Shit that's an Uzumaki.

So he decides to USE THE SEAL.

What does it do?

He doesn't know! But it's probably SOMETHING big and impressive, right?

Yes. :) Yes it Does.

*Crack*

The SKY cracks. Like a pane of glass, struck by a hammer. Spiderwebbing as far as the eye can see above them, all from one central point, directly above the seal. The cracks there are concentrated. A point of impact. And through the cracks... something GREEN shines.

Brighter then the daylight around it, yet darker in color then the blue of the sky. Lazily whisping out like escaping mist. Time seems slow as their eyes all whip up wards. Even with senses beyond the normal human base, it is... inconceivable. SOMETHING winds back. They can not see it.

But they can feel it.

Like changing pressure as a storm rolls in.

*Crack!*

Green overtakes the blue. The sky a Kaleidescape of shards, held together by stubbornness alone. Reflecting a calm day that seems IMPOSSIBLE in the face of what's occurring. There should be wind. Great pressure changes in the face of so much FORCE, but the trees are eerily still.. utterly silent..

Nothing dares bring attention to itself.

Some distant part of their minds try to gather the thought that... that it could be an illusion. They... they should check. But they can FEEL it. Like a weight draped gently but without mercy upon their shoulders. It did not slam. But... but they can not move. Can barely breathe. It is beyond killing intent.

It is simply...

DEATH.

*CRASH!*

At last, the sky gives way. A fist, the size of towers punching through. It... it is almost elegant. A ring, almost in the shinigami's visage, wraps itself in a howling and snarled menace, around a great shining finger. A glove protects almost delicate looking, claw tipped fingers. The fist pulls back. Shard of sky falling, Floating, suspended in their moment of destruction, a glittering frame for the gapping wound that has overtaken everything.

Death...

Death has Green Eyes.

A crown of ice and starlight, pulled straight from the coldest north, hair that drifts like the drowned. His skin is that of a corpse. His breath a coldness that seems to suck all warmth from the world. There is no rage, no great irritation, his face merely twisted in slight annoyance. Mild displeasure.

And yet it feels like their greatest sin.

It BURNS.

They are ants. Less then ants. He... He LOOMS so TALL. The Green BURNS into their eyes, into their veins, chokes their lungs. The silence stretches. Those great eyes, the eyes of a GOD, move from them. To the man with the Seal.

He dies instantly.

Shit.

They... they need to... to...

Naruto wanders over and picks up the scroll, completely ignore the Giant Sky God Of Death and how all his friends are frozen in primordial fear. He roughly shakes the dirt off the delicate old relic, then squint at it. Figures he's holding it upside-down. Flipping it, he squints harder. Tilts his head and hums.

"Oh!"

He holds his hand up, turning to look at the terrifying Deity From Beyond Comprehension.

"It's me! I'm the Uzumaki! But, uh, I didn't actually summon you? Our stuff got stolen. Which really sucks!" He looks down again, brings the paper nearly to his nose trying to make out some thing. "Uuuuuh, huh. Got it! Can you get smaller? I don't got any BBQ or anything ON me right now, but Choji's Family makes REALLY good food! We can go out to eat? Ooh ooh! Maybe RAMEN! You like Ramen, right?!"

"Yep, Definitely one of Shouta's."

Rumbles The Actual Fucking King Of Death, shaking the trees and ground under your feet. As you probably stare at your fellow Leaf Nin like WTF.

"Sure, man. Give me a second."

And suddenly? He's leaning forward. Shrinking and twisting in ways that are painful to look at. The sky is... is not healing, so much as UNcracking. Rewinding itself to a pristine state. Until only a large, floating, armored God in black and white floats above you. Glowing.

One that... that is apparently FRIENDS with the Uzumaki Clan.

Because of course he is.

Naruto's introducing his Toads. And teammates. You almost feel bad for Hatake. But like? Better you then me, buddy. THEN? Death? Decides? For some inconceivable reason. "You know what? Im'ma just turn into a human WITH NO CHAKRA NETWORK. Reeeeeally freak out the locals."

And now Leaf is INCHARGE of entertaining A GOD until he decides to leave.

Or (presumably) Else.

And!! Because life loves to kick ninjas IN THE BALLS (for their stupid, STUPID life choices, YOU FUCKERS) it just HAD to be the One God? That can SEE DEAD PEOPLE. Because it's not like ninjas have Death Related Traumas or anything!

*internal ninja screaming*

Feed the guy some BBQ! Stat! Please Akimichi! Save us!

@hdgnj @hypewinter @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation

#dpxnaruto #naruto prompt #dp prompt #dpxnaruto prompt #narutoxdp #whoops we summoned a ghost king!#but dont worry #UZU accidentally did that TONS #he just asks for food then leaves #cool guy #thats why were are all chakra beasts and also probably ghosts now!#naruto is like?#new frien?#new frien!#no hes not asking #minji's writing

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months

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End of Empathy (time for violence)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #jin ling #lan sizhui #We are back to the present! Honestly I think I'm going to try and truncate the rest of this arc.#I LOVE yi-city and I really appreciate all of the support the yi-city lovers have given me. And the patience of those who aren't.#But it's been two months. And I need to move this along </3 #Anyways; I love the start of ep 3 so much. The worried concern of the juniors is so cute #but the crown jewel by far is wwx responding like a parent that's very hungover but trying so hard to be nice about it #like 'shhh shhhh guys hi I'm up now. Can you keep the volume down. Can you get me some water and my sunglasses from the glovebox.'#and of course the incredible wham line of 'Xue Yang Must Die.'#'Is YX irredeemable? I'm pro 'everyone is capable of change and deserves a chance.' So Im of the camp of 'if he had the opportunity...maybe #The issue is that this setting has no structure to provide those opportunities. You are perceived as a threat therefor you must die #XY is a very interesting parallel to the YLLZ because they both meet the same fate: outsiders determining that they need to be killed #plus both did war crimes. I know it's easy to forget the YLLZ actually did do some of the things he was accused of (most wrong)#but wwx also has blood on his hands. He also sought revenge in pretty twisted ways. Both were given opportunities to step away and refused #The difference is that we empathize with and like XXC & SL and A-Qing. The Narrative says they were wronged and that is an injustice.'

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beaulesbian · 9 months

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I'ts like there's a rope attached to my chest and it keeps pulling me towards you. And it feels so right. - Red, White and Royal Blue (2023)

"On purpose. I love him on purpose." - Red, White and Royal Blue, chapter 13, by Casey McQuiston

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tangledinink · 9 months

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So, I understand this may be a stylistic choice, but as the unofficial coloring person for your comic, something in your recent swannie update.... concerns me

His eyes are SO dull. All of his line art is dull. Especially when in comparison with leo....

And you keep making magical girl jokes...

Is this like... a madoka magika situation?

Is he too far away from his soul?

He looks like he's barely.... there. He's normally at least responcive... he.... hes not there.... he's not.... present... I feel like there isn't anything there. No soul, no magic... just running on muscle memory and whatever magic remains in his body.

of course, his family is aware that, currently, donnie is physically separated from his soul, and that that's probably not good. but they're also aware that donnie was beat to hell and back and just barely skated through by the skin of his teeth-- and that the lake literally drains his life force out of his body.

swanatello. ->

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aimseytv · 9 months

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one thing i’ve been thinking about recently is sometimes things are just out of our control. we can try to change, fix or fight these uncontrollable forces that are sent our way but sometimes we just physically cannot do anything - and that’s okay. it’s okay that somethings can’t be changed, or fixed, or fought, and that’s completely fine! not having all the necessary cards or puzzle pieces to help complete the puzzle just means you’ll find them later in life

#somethings are just best left the way they are #i know it’s scary to think of the out of control things #but sometimes it’s just best to remember we don’t have all the cards yet #you may find the card you need for a specific situation happening to you now in a few years #and think back and go ah this card was easy to find #and i have it now #so you don’t need to worry

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sleepyorchidmonster · 6 months

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Wait a minute.

If visions are basically Celestia keeping an eye on people that might one day ascend to be gods/ become threaths to Celestia.

Then now that the Hydro Archon is no more and Neuvillette is the one giving visions, does that mean he can watch over all hydro users??

Now all I can think of is Neuvillette acting as Furina's guardian angel. Hurt her and a literal dragon descends from the skies to beat you up!

Also Albert is FINALLY getting arrested!!

#neuvillette about to give visions to all melusines #and spy on the fatui #he also becomes interested in light novels when he finds out xinqiu is a writer #and by that i mean he buys all volumes of legend of the sword and starts a book club with furina and the melusines #hydro dragon accidentally adopting everyone #genshin impact #4.2 spoilers #neuvillette #furina #barbara #in this house we hate albert #after killing albert neuvillette is now worried about people stalking furina back in fontaine #no need to worry though #arlecchino killed them all #so she could almost assassinate furina

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marlynnofmany · 22 hours

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You know how in stories where the heroes save the world from some magical apocalypse, a lot of the time the general public has no idea? They just go about their lives afterward, not even realizing how close they came to disaster, much less that there's someone to thank for that?

Picture how those heroes feel.

That's how the programmers who stopped the Y2K bug most likely feel.

Thanks for saving us, folks. I just heard the song "Party Like It's 1999", and thought of you.

#Y2K #I was there Gandalf #and I didnt have the slightest idea that there had been a real danger #everyone was so worried beforehand #but the when the clocks rolled over to 2000 #and none of the computers controlling key points of society went haywire #everybody collectively shrugged and laughed #'lol whoops'#'guess there was nothing to worry about after all'#when in fact there very much was #and somehow they never got credit #for averting that particular apocalypse #at least we can talk about it now #hooray for the internet #a source of many things I would otherwise not know

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a-loose-collection-of-ants · 2 months

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I'm finally free from exams so uhhhhhhhhhhhh here's another sketch dump

We have fun here

#your regularly scheduled programming will resume shortly #I fear the day I have to sit for licensure #amrev #washington's aides #is that the tag we use for them?#I don't feel like tagging all of them but this is the squad during that brief period when Mac was there but Fitz hadn't left yet #no idea if you can figure out who everyone is without their hair color but I will not be clarifying it #oh that dude in the funky waistcoat is an OC don't worry about him #from the sketchbook #might as well use a tag for that if I'm going to be posting these now

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sudaca-swag · 2 months

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"did your parents bestow a sense of economic instability as you were growing up or made money problems too explicit during your childhood" i grew up in latin america bro what do you think

#money worry is all ive ever known since i was 5 years old lmao #now i just say well so what are we going to do about it ive seen my parents crying about money for 23 years of my life #latine tag

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beartitled · 22 days

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[MESSAGE RECEIVED]

[LOADING...]

Hi Bear!

I bring a weapon idea for you! (or your sona I'm not sure lmao)

I present to youuuuu