#watching this was an experience I literally felt like I was in the twilight zone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slavicviking · 1 year

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A fashionably-late Valentine Steddie lil’ thing set between seasons 2 and 3

(Ao3 version linked in the replies)

Though he vehemently denies it later, it’s a joint idea. Literally. They’re high off their asses in Jeff’s garage turned hung-out spot, Eddie being the highest or maybe just the loudest of them all. The idea itself is severely simple, probably more than a little bit mean - born out of childish bitterness and, on Eddie’s part, a deeply internalized and terribly unrequited crush from forever ago - one no one dares to mention but one they all know about anyway.

At midnight on the twelfth of February they’re sitting on the floor of Jeff’s garage, giggling like madmen, and it seems like a great idea.

Steve Harrington, former King of Hawkins High, makes an easy target, too - both for an impossible crush and The Idea, which, in retrospect, Eddie admits started out as a mean-spirited prank. A revenge on the down-low. Because King Steve was never the one to shove into a locker or offer a swirly in a disgusting high school bathroom - no, he was too good, too untouchable for that. Steve Harrington always watched on the sidelines, hair perfect and not a wrinkle on his polo while others did his dirty work.

Perhaps that is an exaggeration. Perhaps it often felt that way anyways.

It felt like that less and less every week, just as Steve’s bruised eye and swollen cheeks looked healthier and Harrington himself seemed on the right track to graduate though with no girlfriend or the usual ragtag group of friends in sight. Whether it was willingly - unlikely, he thinks - or not, Eddie doesn’t know and stubbornly denies wanting to know.

Despite all this, or maybe because of it, Harrington remains an easy target, an almost perfect punching bag that represents everything Eddie and his friends despise. Add a tragic backstory, an unfair fallout of sorts, and they would be forced to admit the former basketball captain is a person and not only a vague projection of their own insecurities and an echo of the shitty high school experience - and that would defeat the purpose of The Idea.

The Idea is supposed to be something silly and inconsequential, maybe a little mean, but otherwise harmless.

They - Eddie, Jeff, Gareth and Grant - make a conjoined nightmare of a card, powdery glitter splattered over the front page, a cluster of terrible one-liners inside, more often than not with a backhanded compliment or two interwoven somewhere. It looks catastrophic, which is precisely as the artists intended.

It’s Eddie that gets chosen to slip it into Harrington’s locker on Valentine’s Day and he does it quickly, nerves jittering. Gareth is on the lookout and even though the corridor is empty, Eddie still feels…off about this. Sitting at the usual Hellfire Club lunch table an hour later he recognizes the feeling as guilt and that - that he finds extremely annoying, most of all. Kind of conceited of Harrington to occupy his thoughts like this, positive or negative, at all hours of the day. He considers going back to the locker to try and retrieve the card but he knows it’s most likely too late. And damming.

Two or three hours later Eddie thinks that, well, perhaps he worried for nothing because he sees Steve as he’s making his way to the van, sun beginning to set, and Harrington’s grinning and there’s a spring to his step that hasn’t been there before. Worst of all, he’s coming Eddie’s way.

“Munson, hi!”

Is this where Eddie earns a new shiner? Gets his kneecaps kicked in? If so, Harrington’s smile and reddened cheeks feel odd at the very least and unceremoniously unfair but, still, remain a sight to behold. Eddie is only human after all.

“Hi?”

Harrington halts by the concave bumper of the van, hands shoved into the pockets of whitewashed jeans, smile lingering. It’s entering Uncanny Valley territory, making a beeline for the Twilight Zone.

“I got your card,” and, oh, from the left pocket emerges the hideous thing, some of the glitter falling on the pavement. Steve gets a forlorn look on his face as though the loss of the shiny plastic is actually quite tragic and, hey, it’s been a weird day, so maybe it is.

Eddie should probably say something, the self-preservational part of him, albeit, admittedly, small, screams at him to deny, deny until he can no longer strain his voice. Play dumb. Deny. Run away? Just - anything. “Um.”

“Nancy saw you drop this in,” Harrington shrugs half-heartedly, red splotching his cheeks even further. Eddie is not sure if Nancy Wheeler is not, in fact, the scarier of the former ‘it’ couple. She doesn’t seem like the type to hatecrime her way through whatever this is, but stranger things’ have happened. He glances around but the curly-haired reporter does not appear out of thin air. If anyone would posses the ability to do that, it would be, no doubt, Nancy Fucking Wheeler.

‘Local Freak outpranked by an Adonis reincarnate’, he can almost see the headline, too.

“Not gonna lie, I wasn’t expecting this, but it’s kind of cute, you know, and-” Harrington pauses, seemingly made aware that Eddie, amidst it all, has yet to say anything at all. Like a deer caught in headlights, Eddie produces a strangled sound, fingers twitching around the door handle. Steve’s shoulder slump and the smile turns sour. “You didn’t mean it, did you?”

That. Is a lot to unpack.

The sheer idea that Steve Harrington would actually be delighted to receive a Valentine’s note from another guy, an Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson of guys, is preposterous at best. His sixth sense, tailored to any potential signs of an upcoming cruel teasing from a classmate, is not tingling as strongly as the situation calls for it. Steve doesn’t seem like someone who would engage in some twisted prank war, though, he sounds concerningly genuine instead and that, Eddie thinks, might be scarier.

To know you could have had a chance if you tried but fucking it all up.

“It’s mean,” he finally says, pointing to the card. I’m mean, he means to confess but he doesn’t know if it’s more for his or Harrington’s sake.

“I know, Nancy told me, but-” Steve sighs and, good god, he can vividly imagine Wheeler sitting Harrington down and explaining every compliment-clad insult and exaggeration, and it doesn’t sit well with him at all. Eddie likes attention. He’s seeked the attention of the man in front of him, though unwilling to admit that to anyone but himself, for a good portion of his life in Hawkins. But not like this.

“Then why-?” and Eddie doesn’t know how to end this sentence. Why did you come here? Why aren’t you angry? Why-?

“Dunno. I kind of hoped- Well, I thought that maybe it was your way of flirting, or something.” With every word, Steve gets smaller and smaller, shoulders hunched forward. It’s a terrible thing to witness. “Which - stupid, right? You didn’t- Well, we can just forget-”

“What if I did?” Words tumble out of Eddie’s mouth before his brain has any time to process it but if there’s even an inkling of hope that he can fix this, that Steve is saying what he thinks he might be saying, as otherworldly as it seems- “Mean it. What if I would like to mean it?”

A complicated look passes Harrington’s face, eyebrows drawn together, lips formed into a miserable pout. “Would you?”

“Would you?” Eddie shoots back meekly, waiting for it all to fall apart, just as it is expected to, but Steve simply nods, once again shattering the carefully-curated Munson doctrine and some of Eddie’s personal walls.

“I mean, you’re cool, man,” and that, Eddie knows, is a bold-faced lie but it makes him feel comfortably warm and buzzed so he’ll allow it. Steve’s fingers twidle with the card. “You’re not afraid to be yourself. I like that.”

Eddie’s not against improvisation, in fact, generally he quite likes it. But this, now, he would love a script to follow. He doesn’t want to hurt Steve, and he doesn’t want to hurt himself either.

“I believe I have greatly misjudged this whole situation. I’m sorry,” Eddie winces, slipping the disastrous Valentine out of Steve’s grasp, holding it in the air between two fingers. “I’d like to request a special case of tabula rasa, if you’d let me.”

“Tabula-?”

“-rasa. A second chance. A re-do and all that shit, man,” he gestures to nothing in particular. He sways on his heels, wound up. “I don’t know you, dude. But I would like to? If- yeah.”

Steve looks infinitely softer, rigid lines of his shoulders curving downwards. Smiles.

“I’d like that, too.”

#steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson

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industrial-horror · 3 years

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TRILOGY OF TERROR

On March 4, 1975, a strange announcement appeared on television sets across America. Some ABC affiliate stations had decided not to air a made-for-TV film called “Trilogy of Terror” in its scheduled timeslot. The reason? It was simply too upsetting to be shown when it was supposed to air – they were moving it to a slot three hours later that night.

Other stations aired the movie but made sure to offer a disclaimer that it might be upsetting for young viewers, something that was just not done in those days. It seemed hard to believe that a modestly-budgeted network “Movie of the Week” could upset station managers so much that they would become concerned for their viewer’s welfare, especially since two-thirds of the 90-minute movie was basically forgettable. The anthology film starred Karen Black – who’d recently earned an Oscar nomination for “Five Easy Pieces” – in multiple roles. In the first two parts, she played a seductive teacher and a vengeful twin sister but made little impression on viewers.

The third part, “Amelia,” was different, though. Black played a character hoping to impress her anthropologist boyfriend by giving him a gift of an African “Zuni fetish doll,” a frightening looking wooden warrior with a spear. Alone in her apartment, Black’s character finds that the doll is not what it appears to be. He literally comes to life and tries to kill her. As he stabs and slashes her feet, chases her, and hides behind furniture, the audience is unsure whether Black will defeat her terrifying attacker, lose her sanity – or both.

In the decades since the television movie’s first airing, “Amelia” had become an eerie part of the public consciousness. Viewers who saw it in 1975 – or have watched it since – are unable to forget Black’s battle with the little terror. Before she passed away in 2013, Black said that more fans approached her to talk about her fight with the killer doll than all her other roles combined.

Author Richard Matheson was one of the writers of “Trilogy of Terror.” He had come up with the idea for “Amelia” over a decade earlier when he was working on the “The Twilight Zone.” He had pitched a script called “Devil Doll” to series creator Rod Serling, but the story turned out to be too grim for 1960s broadcast standards. Matheson ended up tweaking the idea slightly and using it for “The Invaders,” which starred Agnes Moorehead, as a woman who is terrorized by a group of tiny sinister aliens.

Years later, Matheson often collaborated with director Dan Curtis – who did the original “The Night Stalker” with Darren McGavin – and they came up with the idea for “Trilogy of Terror” and pitched it to ABC. Writer William F. Nolan scripted the first two segments, based on Matheson stories, and Matheson himself scripted “Amelia,” which was basically the story from the abandoned “Twilight Zone” idea.

Matheson figured that “Amelia” would be the standout segment – and he was right. Over the years, when he went in for meetings at studios, he was often approached by executives who confessed to wetting themselves while watching the film as a child.

The studio and Dan Curtis thought otherwise, though. They felt the stunt casting of Karen Black in all three stories – a total of four roles with the twin’s in the second episode – would be the real hook. Initially, Black was not interested in the part. She only agreed to star when her manager was able to secure a role for her then-husband, Robert Burton.

The filming was not without its problems. The production required the use of three puppets, which were not easy to operate. In interviews, Black said that the crew sometimes had to simply throw the doll at her so that it looked like it was moving. Many times, its head of arms fell off when it was supposed to be running. Working with the little terror was often hilarious, not horrifying, she admitted.

But the viewers didn’t see any of the funny stuff. There was nothing to laugh about in “Amelia.” The final part of the trilogy is mostly silent, with Black’s character being browbeaten by her overbearing mother over the telephone and then trying to calm herself with a shower. Once that doll comes to life, she uses everything she can – an ice pick, a suitcase, even an oven – to fight whatever evil has caused it to attack her. In the closing moments, it’s clear that the doll is not yet finished claiming victims.

Oops, spoiler alert.

“Trilogy of Terror” eventually made it to the home video market in the early 1980s, but before that, kids like me had to wait for it to be repeated on ABC. Luckily, they often brought it back so that we could experience the horror over and over again. It would be the fleeting recollections of how we all had to watch it in the late 1970s that caused the movie to develop a cult following. Even though the Zuni doll came back in 1996 for a sequel, it’s the original film that we all know and love.

But not everyone was so fond of it. Karen Black often complained about the fact that people remembered “Trilogy of Terror” at the expense of the rest of her career. “I wish they said, ‘That wonderful movie you did for Robert Altman,’ but they don’t,” she told an interviewer, “They say, ‘That little doll.’”

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bewitching-elizabeth-olsen · 3 years

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Press: How ‘WandaVision’s Elizabeth Olsen Brought Her MCU Role To The Small Screen: “It Was Like A Dream”

DEADLINE: When Elizabeth Olsen was first pitched the idea of taking her character Wanda Maximoff into the suburbs with her late android husband Vision, played by Paul Bettany, she wasn’t quite sure how to wrap her head around it, let alone understand the couple’s inexplicable reunion. The president of Marvel Studios, Kevin Feige, and creator Jac Schaeffer had told her their plans for WandaVision to kick off the MCU on the new Disney+ platform. They also explained the concept that each episode would be set against classic sitcom tropes from the ’50s to modern-day.

“I was really worried about launching a show like that,” admits Olsen. “The idea that Kevin had about trying to tell this story in a Twilight Zone-y way through sitcom is so twisted and bizarre to me that I could only be excited to see what they would come up with. Another issue was to bring these superhero characters that audiences are used to seeing on big screens onto a small television.”

“If you’re in a choir,” explains Olsen, “you’re adding a tone to the group. So, in the [Avengers] films, I always felt like I was adding a sincerity tone while everyone was being sarcastic. Wanda has a lot of heart and a lot of pain, but with this, all of that went out the window. The core of this woman is really her lack of having really understood her own grief and trauma, and she’s trying to move forward in the world. Then there’s this strong desire and need for creating a family nucleus allows for her to not be alone in the world. And then everything else, the sitcoms, even her knowledge of what’s happening is just circumstance.”

The big themes hidden within WandaVision’s deliberately forced sugary facade made it a hit among critics, too. Think pieces and fanatical breakdowns of each episode brought a level of kudos never before seen for a Marvel character. So much so, that when the Emmy nominations were announced, WandaVision scored 23 of them, including Lead Actor nods for Olsen and her onscreen partner Paul Bettany. It is the 3rd most-nominated show this year.

“Yeah, it’s odd,” muses Olsen. “After seven years of playing the same character, who would have predicted it? I got comfortable being in an ensemble, and I really liked trying to figure out what my point of view was to the story as a whole. But with this show, we just thought, ‘This is the weirdest thing we’re ever going to be able to participate in, so let’s just swing for the fences and either it will crash and burn or people will like it.’ We just had fun.”

Spearheading the fun was director Matt Shakman who brought his years of collaborating as the artistic director for the Geffen Playhouse onto the set; bringing a cohesive theater troupe feel to the cast.

“I’ve had some pretty great leaders on my films,” recalls Olsen, “but Matt is one of the greatest leaders I have ever had on a job. He had us come in for two weeks to do rehearsals and to all get the same visual vocabulary for every single episode. Everyone came out to Atlanta, even for a couple of nights, or even if they weren’t working until six months later. We literally felt like an acting troupe.”

“A lot of us, Teyonah (Parris), Katheryn (Hahn), Paul, were all trained from different acting conservatories,” says Olsen. “We are all students of acting. I mean it was so dorky, we would do vocal exercises in hair and makeup, trying to find this world together. I would look to everyone around me to figure out, ‘OK, are we really doing this cheese? Is this really what we’re doing?’ But we were all doing the same amount of cheese, and as an ensemble we were supporting and holding each other up. That’s why it felt like such a fun show to work on, because you really felt that camaraderie and necessity of all your scene partners, so it worked.”

Which made the different eras of comedy sitcoms, with its specific sets of rhythm, less of a challenge and more of a celebratory collaborative effort to work through.

“I mean it was like a dream,” smiles Olsen. “It already feels like such a gift as an actor to get to play a genre or tone or period piece or have a playful exploration of your voice. All those things are already just so much fun and then to constantly have to change and alter it, yet keep the same core of these characters. It was a joy.”

“I’m really grateful for this show,” continues Olsen, “I got to have a lot of fun showcasing in a way of being a ham. I haven’t gotten to do that in a lot of my work. You learn in life to become quiet and reserved and polite, and it’s really fun to have that opportunity to access the skills that you’ve learned throughout the years. It awoke my body up to what I love about work and I’m feeling residual effects in a positive way preparing for my next job.”

After traveling through multiple fictional settings, Olsen’s next job took her to the U.K. to continue playing the Avengers’ Scarlet Witch in the upcoming film Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. Leaving behind her tight group of theater comrades and stepping back onto the big screen after two years of playing Wanda Maximoff, something felt different.

“It was great to stay in the same mindset,” says Olsen. “It was also frustrating because [WandaVision] hadn’t come out yet. I had just spent a year breaking down what family meant for Wanda. How our entire show is about family sitcoms, because it gave comfort though so many different time periods. And I knew that Dr. Strange was going to be different for this character, even though I was going into a film with a bunch of new people, to have this new huge group experience, I was completely alone again.”

Now back in the U.S., Olsen can finally give Wanda a break and take on characters outside the MCU, possibly even returning to the independent film scene where she got her break as an actress a decade ago.

“This has been a great gift from Marvel,” she says. “The longer you work for [them], the more included you are in every step of the process. And I really do appreciate that. I’m also grateful from a financial standpoint, because I’m now able to make decisions and take on opportunities not based on the potential of its commercial success.”

Now it seems that seven years later, playing Wanda has come to a perfect rewarding ending for Olsen. That is, unless the MCU needs her back for another round.

Press: How ‘WandaVision’s Elizabeth Olsen Brought Her MCU Role To The Small Screen: “It Was Like A Dream” was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

#Elizabeth Olsen #WandaVision #Avengers #Scarlet Witch #Wanda Maximoff #Sorry For Your Loss #Avengers Infinity War #Avengers Age of Ultron #Captain America Civil War #Ingrid Goes West #Godzilla #Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness #Marvel #MCU #Candy Montgomery #Love and Death #Avengers Endgame

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benji-writes · 4 years

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In the Tub

Pairing: Steve x Reader, with a fun appearance from Sam and Bucky

Word Count: 1040

Summary: The Golden Girls (Steve, Buck, and Sam), have a little too much fun. It is really so stupid. I could not stop thinking about it, and quite frankly, it is well, and truly, ridiculous.

Warnings: Drug use, but it’s not crazy or anything.

When you walked into the kitchen, you were expecting literally anything else. But there they were – Thing One and Thing Two. Bucky and Sam sat on the floor, with their backs against the counter, watching the Harley Quinn animated series and spooning peanut butter out of the jar.

Stopped in the doorway you said, “Boys? What’s going on in here?”

Bucky looked up at you, eyes red, and gave a lazy smile, “Want some peanut butter?”

Sam looked over once he realized Bucky was talking to someone else and said, “Ohhhh, shit. Here comes you!”

You ignored Bucky’s question, and you tried to hold back your laughter, “Yeah, Sam. Here comes me.”

You walked into the room, and opened the fridge to grab the bottle of iced tea you’d come in for, “So. Who’s idea was it to get high?”

“WHAT?” Bucky shouted, “I’m not high. I’m low.” He said, drawing out the word as he sunk his body further onto the ground until he was laying completely flat. Sam threw his head back laughing, and accidentally hit it against the cabinets underneath the counter. You saw what remained of chocolate edibles, the wrappers laying next to a bag of Cheetos.

“Jesus Christ. Okay, boys. Either of you seen Stevie?”

“He’s in your room, I think,” Sam said rubbing the back of his head.

“My room? Why’s he in my room?”

“He was talking about your bathtub, and stuff.”

“My bathtub? What the fu-“ You didn’t even finish before you turned and left, heading to your room.

When you opened the door, you could already smell your lavender bubble bath. The door to the bathroom was open, and you could hear Mariah Carey playing over the speakers. Mariah Carey?

“Hey, Steve?” You said and crept towards the bathroom, “What’re you doing in there?”

If you thought seeing Sam and Bucky was a surprising, then this was something else entirely. This was just absurd. You had walked straight into the twilight zone. There was Steve, singing quietly along to “We Belong Together,” fully dressed and in the bathtub. In grey sweatpants, and a white t-shirt, there was a light coating of bubbles scattered throughout the tub, and an enormous pile of bubbles sitting in your sink. He had on sunglasses OVER a sheet mask, and absolutely none of it felt real. You turned the music off.

“Steve. Just... what?” It was incredible. Absolutely incredible.

Steve looked over at you, standing in the doorway, “Hey there, pretty girl.”

You couldn’t help that easy comfort that filled your body at the sound of his voice, “Hey there, handsome man. Think you can tell me what exactly you’re doing in my bathtub?”

He lowered his sunglasses like he thought he was the cool kid in an 80s movie. And in the most surreal moment you thought you might ever experience, global superhero Captain America said, “I’m washing me and my clothes.”

He looked around to make sure no one else would see him when he mouthed, “Bitch.”

You twisted the cap off your tea and took a sip, “Uh huh. Okay. Uh huh. Yeah, okay. Alright. So you wanna tell me, who the fuck taught you that?”

He giggled, a real little kid giggle, and said, “Peter sends me memes. Says it’ll keep me hip.”

You threw your head back and laughed at that, “Of course he does.”

You went and sat on the edge of the tub, placing your tea by the sink, “How long you been in here?”

He shrugged, stupid smile on his face. You felt the water and it was still pretty warm, so you figured it couldn’t have been too long.

“Uh huh. What about that face mask? You had that on for more than fifteen minutes, you think?”

With the same stupid smile he said, “Maybe.”

You shook your head, took his sunglasses off, and peeled the face mask off of him. He whined the whole time.

“Yeah, yeah, stop complaining. You about ready to get out of the bath?”

He sighed, “I guess. Can we take a real bath tomorrow though? I like when we do that, and you let me wash your hair, and then you wash mine. It feels nice.”

He leaned his head back against the wall, and just looked at you. His pretty girl. You gave him that fond smile, the one reserved just for him and said, “Yeah, Stevie, we can do that.”

Content with that response, he stood up, absolutely sopping wet, and stepped out of the tub.

“Oh, Steve, come on!” You put your head in your hands as he soaked the floor. Once he stood on the rug, he started undressing so he could towel himself off.

While he was busy you threw his clothes in the hamper, and went out to get him a pair of the boxers he kept in your dresser. He said thanks when you handed them to him, “I know we usually sleep in my room, but can we just stay here please? My room is so far.”

“Yeah, we’ll sleep here tonight. Let’s get ready now though.”

So you changed into pajamas, and you after dealing with all the bubbles in the sink, you both brushed your teeth before climbing into bed. Steve was still pretty high, lying under your sheets, laughing at nothing. His laughs quickly became giggles – those same, high pitched, little kid giggles. He reached his hand out.

“Honk,” He said trying (and failing) to keep his laughter in. “Honk, honk.”

You looked at him, and then down at his hand. Looking back up, you very calmly said, “Steven.”

He giggled again, “Yes?”

“Did you just honk my breast?”

He couldn’t contain himself anymore, and burst out laughing. You threw your head back against the pillow with a groan, “Steven.”

He settled a little, and scooched up close to you. He rested his head on your stomach, and wrapped his arms around you, “Yes, pretty girl?”

He looked up at you with sleepy, dreamy eyes. You couldn’t resist running your fingers through his hair, and he nuzzled into your hand, “Time to go to sleep.”

“Okay,” He whispered with a smile, a small tired smile, and kissed your stomach, before closing his eyes, and drifting off to sleep.

#steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes #sam wilson #marvel #marvel fanfiction

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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[-infatuatedgirl]

Hey, what’s your name? Stephanie.

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? Weren’t you just tingling with excitement? I was 16. I wouldn’t say that, but it was cool. I’m old, so it wasn’t a smartphone yet.

Do you ever read the results of the surveys you make? I don’t make surveys.

How many belts do you own? Zero.

If you had to live with one pair of shoes, what would they be? My Adidas.

Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

How about forevers? It happens.

What’s your comfort food? Lately, it’s actually been ice cream, which is weird cause I wasn’t ever a big ice cream person before.

What do you use your cell phone for, aside texting and calls? Ha, I hardly use it for those reasons. I use it for the apps more than anything.

Are there any picture frames in the room you are in? Yes.

Did you ever ride a limo? Yeah, several times. My dad used to work for a limo company when I was a kid, it was cool.

Do you use a lot of hair products? Not at all, just shampoo and detangler.

Creepiest movie ever? Hmm. Not sure which movie I’d give that title to.

Do you ever wonder what your life looks like to someone else’s eyes? Gah, I don’t want to know.

Have you ever walked into a crowded room and felt so alone? I do often feel alone even though I’m rarely completely by myself.

What’s your current status in facebook/myspace? I shared some random meme thing earlier. I like never post actual statuses anymore, I just share stuff now and then.

What was your dream job as a child? I wanted to be a teacher.

Is it still the same? No.

Did you ever stay up all night? Fun, right? As a kid? Yeah. Especially when my cousins slept over. We’d try to stay up with junk food and soda and watch movies, play games, etc and see who could stay up the latest. Ever took a Bzoinkoid? I don’t know what that is.

Do you like cracking your knuckles? Sometimes it just needs to be done.

What color’s your car? I don’t have a car, I don’t drive.

If you don’t have one, what color would you like it to be? I’m not sure.

Did you ever do something you promised yourself not to? Didn’t it feel good? I have and some of the things did and some I regretted.

What’s the ‘craziest’ color you dyed your hair? Red was my first bold color I did.

What’s your definition of fearless? Having no fear? ha.

Don’t you get a bit happy when you take an iPod shuffle survey and the song fits perfectly? I don’t like those type of surveys, actually.

Do you like paranormal stuff?(shows,movies,books,etc) Nah.

Do you believe in those? No.

What’s the weirdest compliment you ever received? Did you even take it as a compliment? “You’re pretty for having polio.” I’ll never forget some random woman coming up and saying that to me. Like what does that even mean? I don’t have polio and I don’t know why she assumed I did apart from the fact I’m in a wheelchair? Also, does that imply people with polio aren’t usually attractive according to them?

Do you have a favorite stuff toy? What’s it’s name? My shitload of stuffed animal giraffes. What’s the most exciting project you were given? Hmm.

Are you familiar with Polyvore? If so, do you have an account? No.

Did you accomplish your New Years Resolutions last year? I stopped making those several years ago.

What are you passionate about? Nothing. :/

Without passion we’d truly be dead. Fact or fiction? I haven’t felt passionate about something in a long time and it does feel like I’m really missing something. Like, I think you should have something you’re passionate about, it’s fulfilling.

Are you guilty of internet slang? I use the ones like, “omg”, “wtf”, and “lol”, but otherwise I’m very much about being grammatically correct.

Would you rather be hurt physically or emotionally? I would rather just not be hurt at all - how about that?! <<< Right, like wtf.

Were you ever truly and completely happy with yourself? No.

Is your life balanced right now? No.

Did you ever roll down a ramp or hill? Countless ramps as someone in a wheelchair.

If you can’t be with the one you love, will you be with the one who loves you? I don’t want to just settle.

What’s your favorite scent? I have a lot.

Are/were you forced to believe something you don’t? When I was a kid both sets of grandparents tried pushing their religious beliefs on me.

Are you very dependent on people? I’ve had to be very dependent the past couple months now due to health setbacks.

Do you let small things ruin your day? Ugh, I do let stuff like that get to me way too much and too easily these days. Like every little thing.

Do you over-analyze things? Yepppp.

Did you ever wonder what life would be in a stranded island? It would be depressing and lonely. Also, probably terrifying. <<< Yeah, not something I’d want to experience that’s for sure.

Do you have a good sense of direction? Nooo. I’m the worst.

What’s your opinion on Kesha? I liked some of her songs.

Are you excited for what the future holds for you? I’m scared of what the future holds for me to be honest.

Are you more of a listener or a talker? I’m definitely more of a listener than a talker.

Indoorsy or outdorsy? Indoorsy for sure.

Name something that you think is overrated. Bacon and sushi. It seems like literally everyone loves both and I don’t get it.

How about underrated? Hmm.

What’s one question you HATE being asked? Hmm.

Is it personal or it just bugs you? --

Do you own any comic books? Nope.

Or you’re more of an anime/manga person? I’m not into those either.

Do you have any weird phobias? If so, what? Ugh, I don’t even want to type the words but the fear of holes and clusters lsjlskfklsdjflkdsjfdlsk

Were you ever obsessed with something then realized how lame it really was? Twilight. :X

If you had a time machine would you visit the past or future? The past.

Or is the present too good for you? No, definitely not. What would you change in that time zone? In the past? I’d change some things that would make it so I wasn’t dealing with some of the health stuff I’m going through now. Some of it could have been so easily avoided and managed, but I was stubborn, irresponsible, and negligent.

What’s the title of the first survey you created? I’ve only made one survey, many years ago, and I don’t think I titled it.

What color is your iPod/mp3? I have a black iPod Touch, but it’s been stored away and unused since 2012. I use Spotify on my phone for music, which is gold.

Do you think you could live without music? I’ve hardly listened to music at all this year so far and I’m still alive.

Describe your favorite top. I love all my graphic tees.

Do you change your style frequently? No. Especially not now. I just live in leggings and graphic tees.

Are you a tshirt-and-jeans kind of person? No, I’m a leggings and graphic tees kind of person.

What’s the most traumatizing event that ever happened to you? The one that made me a paraplegic.

Do you own a diary/journal? This is it.

Do you write there often? I definitely do.

Don’t you hate it when there’s nothing good showing on TV? I got into this routine the past few months and have my lineup of shows.

Insert your favorite smiley here: :)

How many live concerts have you been to? Like 6 or 7.

Did you keep the tickets as a souvenir? Yeah.

Tinypic or Photobucket? Aw, the days of Tinypic and Photobucket. I’m sad because I have a shit ton of photos saved on Photobucket and I can’t access my account. D: Like, I’m talkin’ photos from Myspace days.

Tumblr or Xanga? Well, it’s just Tumblr now... <<< I really do like Tumblr, but I also miss Xanga. The survey community was huge.

What do you do when you’re really nervous? Fidget, squirm, pick at my nails, bite/pick my lips, mess with my hair, twiddle with my hands, jump to worst case scenarios...

Do you have a bad habit you just can’t break? Picking at my lips, nails, and skin. :/

Would you say you’re down to earth? I think so.

What’s the first thing you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? I really try to avoid that as much as possible cause I hate what I see.

Do you find peace in being alone? I haven’t felt peace in a very long time.

Summer holds such wonderful things. Fact or fiction? Fiction. I could just skip right on by it to be honest.

Ah,summer (: What’s your favorite thing about it? The only thing I like is if I’m able to go to the beach. If I had a beach house with private beach access and didn’t feel miserable for months, then I wouldn’t mind summertime.

Are you faint to the sight of blood? Just the mention of it makes me feel weak.

What’s something you’ve grown used to? I feel like this is how it’s always going to be... :/

What’s your favorite dessert? Lately, I’ve been really into ice cream. I was not a big ice cream person before, like until recently it had been a few years since I had any at all. Suddenly, I’m all about it. *shrug*

Do you like spicy food? I loved spicy food, but I can’t have it anymore. :(

Are you easily bored? I didn’t used to be. I think my boredom is actually the depression, though.

Do you wish for the same thing at 11:11? Or does it change depending on how things are going in your life? I don’t do that.

Do you even wish at 11:11? Nope.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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archivingspn · 3 years

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Variety “‘Supernatural’ at 200: The Road So Far, An Oral History”

(...) Eric Kripke (Creator): For me, the core notion behind “Supernatural” was to make a series about urban legends. I think they’re this incredibly rich mythology about the United States, and no one had really tapped into that, so when I started as a writer, one of the first ideas I ever pitched was an urban legend show.

A couple years later I tried to pitch, basically, a “Scooby Doo” rip off of a bunch of kids travelling in a van dealing with these urban legends. It was an idea that I never let go of and kept throwing there every couple years. Finally I had a deal with Warner Bros. and that incarnation was a reporter. Frankly, it was a rip off of “Nightstalker,” but I really fleshed it out and it had mythology.

I took it to Susan Rovner and Len Goldstein at the studio and they said, “We love the idea of doing a horror show,” which no one was really doing on TV at that time, “but we’re not into the reporter, that feels really tired. So no thanks and let’s get another angle.”

So in this moment, when they were basically passing on my idea, as you often do in these kinds of rooms, you start tap dancing. And I said, “forget the reporter, we should do this show as ‘Route 66,’ two cool guys in a classic car cruising the country, chasing down these urban legends,” and literally right on the spot I said “and they’re brothers,” because it popped in my head. “And they’re dealing with their family stuff and they’re fighting evil.” You just start making it up as you go. They were like, “Brothers, wow, that’s a relationship we haven’t seen on TV before.” And from there, “Supernatural” was born… out of a piece of improvisation.

Peter Roth (President, Warner Bros. Television): Eric [had] been with us since about 2002. Sometime in 2004, he came to us with this idea… this extraordinary road show about these two brothers, in which they would be living all of the great urban and rural myths that [we’re all] exposed to as kids. It was a very commercial idea, emotionally driven, which was what I was most concerned about: who are the characters? Why do I relate to them? Why are they worth my while to watch? And once we cast Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, along with Eric’s great idea, along with the script, along with David Nutter, our director on the pilot, the combination of those factors is what made me so excited and I frankly knew, from the moment I saw this pilot, that it was a winner. There wasn’t a person who I work with who didn’t feel the same way. It was a real strong story of young adult siblings that resonated perfectly with The WB audience.

Kripke: When we were casting, you see a lot of people. We hadn’t found our Sam and Dean. David Nutter suggested Jensen because we knew him from “Smallville.” We met with him to play Sam, and we fell in love with [him]. And then Jared came in, and he was a really great Sam too. Looking back, we were such idiots to not see it… We had two great Sams and no Dean and you think it would be obvious to put one into the other role, but it was not obvious. So we [went] to Peter Roth and we said, “We’re not sure what to do,” and Peter was like, “why don’t you make Jensen Dean?” We all looked at each other like, “we’re idiots, of course.” It’s so difficult to find one actor who is charismatic enough to be a breakout character and to support a show. So to find two of them, where there’s only two leads… I didn’t realize what a miracle it was at the time. It’s a miracle. (...) Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester): It was just immediate chemistry. There was an ease to it. There was a familiarity to it. Once we got into it with each other, it just fell in place and it came… not easy, but definitely a little easier than my experiences in the past. I think the importance of that bond and that relationship was verbalized by Kripke when he sat us down and said, “this begins and ends with you,” and not only how we relate to each other on screen, but also off screen. There was an importance stamped into [that bond] very early on. (...) Padalecki: (...) It was definitely a huge learning process, not only for myself, learning the character of Sam Winchester, but I think we didn’t have a grasp on what we were doing. The original tag line was monster of the week, like “X-files” meets “The Twilight Zone.” And we had these very famous urban legends about Bloody Mary or the Hookman, but ultimately you’re going to run out of those.

Singer: Eric talked about the five-season plan… I don’t know if he secretly had that in mind and was just not sharing it, but initially Eric wanted campfire stories. And the mythology really started to evolve in the first year. We didn’t exactly know where we wanted to go, and I don’t even think Eric knew exactly where he wanted to go

Kripke: If I’ve said in the past that I had this five year plan from the beginning, I was lying. I always knew what that particular season was going to be; “by midseason I want to be here, by the end of the season I want to be there.” And then I always had a rough sketch what the season after that would be. I will say I knew that the show was going to come down to evil Sam versus good Dean and the fate of the world was going to hang in the balance — that was baked into the pilot. I wanted to build it to something that felt conclusive because I didn’t want these mysteries and mythologies to stretch on forever.

Sera Gamble (writer, executive producer): We were realizing the thing that we most enjoyed when we were watching cuts of the show was the chemistry between the brothers, and that the mythology we were constructing for the season was really a family story about two young men and their father, and this family legacy that they’re trying to deal with. That was the heart of the show, and if we paid attention to how each monster story resonated with the relationship between the brothers, then the show was always really interesting.

Padalecki: It was right around the episode “Faith” where the writers realized this show isn’t just about what kind of monsters we can kill but what the brothers can go through together. And I think luckily we stuck with that theme on through the end [of season one], where we reintroduced our father into the storyline. And we get some sense of what the father is willing to do for the sons and what the sons are willing to do for each other. And so it became this story about sacrifice and loyalty and family and friendship [within] this medium of the supernatural and ghosts and ghouls.

Gamble: It’s not like we sat down to write “Faith” and we said, “we’re going to write the game changer.” We just wanted to find a really human, emotional way into a story about faith healing. We had these different elements of the reapers that we wanted to bring into the show and the phenomena of faith healers in the history of America, and it ended up being a story that was really personal and kind of philosophical… From that point forward, everyone was hungry to do more stories that had an aspect of the personal and the metaphysical. (...) Singer: Eric’s phrase was “smoke them if you got them,” where we would just try to tell the best stories we could and be as provocative as we could. We felt that this had a long-term mythology, so ending with kind of a very dramatic cliffhanger just seemed the right thing for us and that all seemed to work out for us. (...) Padalecki: Season two is the season where we realize dying doesn’t mean you’re dead, beginning with Dean who died — so to speak — in the first episode, and culminating with Sam who died in the last episode. Unlike season one where we were figuring out what this show was about, who these characters were, season two we hit the ground running.

Ackles: The interesting thing that Kripke did with the first several seasons is he flipped character motivations from season to season. With the first season you had Dean as the motivating factor: he was really pushed by his father, dragging Sam along against his will. Then as Dad dies, the whole thing is flipped upside down. Now Dean is like, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Dad was his motivating factor in life and [after] he lost him, it was a devastating blow and Dean just wanted to hang it up. And Sam was the one who was like, “no, we’re going to go find answers to this. I have to figure out how I play into this,” and Dean went along with him because he couldn’t let his little brother go it alone. (...) Gamble: It was really fun to kill Sam. You don’t very often get to kill the lead character. One of the really fun things about “Supernatural” is that you get to kill whoever you want, and it’s part of the evil genius of Eric Kripke. From pretty early on, he understood the power of doing the unexpected thing to the character the audience thinks is safe. He fought hard, and he was always someone who, in the room, would push us to not get precious with a character, to not try to save someone because we think they’re amazing. If we love them, we’ll bring them back in some other form. Because we had a plan to bring Sam back, we got to write the super-emotional scene with his brother that we knew that Jensen would knock out of the park, and both of them knocked it out of the park. (...) Singer: I think Bela didn’t quite turn out as good of a story driver as we might have wanted, although we loved Lauren — we thought she was terrific in the part. But we started pinning ourselves a little bit in the corner [with her as] Dean’s nemesis, like, “how often can she best Dean without assassinating our lead character?” If she would’ve been on three times a year, I think that character could’ve really served a purpose going forward. Ruby served a better purpose and that pushed the mythology into a different area. But we were a little flummoxed because you say, “what do we do? We can’t have two women just sitting in the back of the car with these guys.”

Gamble: I think Ruby in the long term was a more successful character than Bela, but we all really enjoyed creating Bela in the room, especially Ben Edlund, who wrote some really cool stuff for her. Not every peg will fit in every hole in the show. You don’t get Castiel one hundred percent of the time. If you follow any show for long enough, you’ll notice some places where they corrected the course, and we learned a lot from writing those two characters. I really like a lot of the stuff that we did with Ruby. It’s really cool to have a character that’s played by more than one actor, and it’s such an interesting characterization of a demon. (...) Kripke: I think the truncated season actually ended up helping the mythology. We were a little aimless as we had just lost the Yellow-Eyed Demon, the great big bad, and we hadn’t introduced a new big bad yet. Because we had less episodes, we had to focus quickly on what was really important: Dean’s deal with the demons and the fact that he had a ticking clock and that he was going to get dragged down to hell. (...) Kripke: If you had asked me in season one, were there going to be angels in Supernatural, I would have said “absolutely not, you’re fired.” Up to that point I always felt like I didn’t want any supernatural good guys in the show. If there was any force of good, it was going to be Sam and Dean, and they were going to be overwhelmed and outgunned. And as we were kicking towards the end of season three and we were doing lots of demon stories, I was worried that we were overplaying the demon stuff. But the idea that angels could be dicks and that they didn’t have to be this warm fuzzy helpful force, they could actually be a really interesting antagonist, once I kind of realized that, I said, “I’ve never seen that depiction of angels on television before.” It wasn’t just these two boys versus all these demons; it became Sam and Dean trapped in the middle of this massive war where you had two sides battling, and humanity, represented by the boys, were caught in the middle, so how do they play both sides against the other? It balanced the mythology in a way that I think made it much more satisfying. (...) Kripke: I’m the first to acknowledge that the idea really came from graphic novels. It came from “Preacher”; it came from “Hellblazer,” which has now become “Constantine,” which is why Castiel wears a trench coat. There’s a reason why Castiel looks exactly like Constantine — it’s because I ripped off Constantine. But I had no idea it was going to be a show at the time! It was funny, as I went into the writers’ room at the start of season four, having thought about it I said, “okay guys, this season we’re doing angels.” And they were like, “What? You asshole!” Because there were so many angel stories that were pitched earlier and I would literally shame them out of the room whenever anyone pitched an angel story, and now I’m presenting it as an entire mythology. But it worked out.

Padalecki: I think season four was really the turning point for the show, and really set the new parameters for what the show is still about to this day, most notably with the introduction of Castiel.

Ackles: This was when “Lost” was on the air, “Heroes” was on the air, these giant mega hits. I remember Eric taking issue with “Lost” because they kept asking questions and never really giving answers. He was against that method of storytelling and said, “no, I’m going to ask the question and I’m going to answer it. And maybe the audience doesn’t like the answer, but I’m most certainly not going to string them along just until I come up with some sort of a solution.” That’s one of the reasons why, from season to season, the bar just kept getting raised and the supernatural world kept getting bigger, almost to the point where it was incomprehensible to the Winchesters. I think we really saw that when the introduction of angels came into play, and then it became something far greater than things that go bump in the night… It was a leap of faith. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do something like that, but I think it panned out. And now we have one of the most loved characters of the series still with us today.

Collins: I was supposed to be on for three episodes, and they said, “Oh, you might do five episodes,” so they added a couple more, and then they added three more after that… Then they signed me up as a series regular and they kept me on for two years, and then they said they were going to kill me and that we would never see me again in season 7. And then they changed their minds again… I was joining the show the beginning of Season 4. I kind of assumed that that was the tail end of the show. I think everybody really thought that the show was going to be over at the end of Season 5 at that point, which was Kripke’s original vision, so it’s very strange to still be here. We are obviously counting ourselves lucky that the show has run so long. (...) Kripke: The movie “Stranger than Fiction” had just come out. And so it started with a really innocent single episode pitch: what happens if Sam and Dean realize that they’re characters in a book; that they find a book that is detailing their entire lives? And then it would give us an opportunity to really poke fun at what we’re doing in “Supernatural,” and that was really fun for me. [Then] somebody said, “well what if he’s a prophet of the lord?” We jumped all over that idea and it really tied into this mythology. It was our first serious meta episode.

And once we introduced him, I thought it was so funny and smart, and you just want to start doing more of it. That’s how I think a lot of the insanity in “Supernatural” emerged. Because we couldn’t repeat ourselves with Chuck: if you’re going to see him again, it better be at a fan convention. Every single time, Bob would say to me, “this is the one where we’ve gone too far.” And then after one of them I responded, “don’t you see? We can never go too far, there is no too far.” (...) Kripke: The thing I remember most about that season was how exhausted I was going through it… I knew I wanted some sort of apocalyptic ending where evil Sam had to fight a good Dean. One of the things that was really hard about that season is, it’s one thing in season four when you’re promising the apocalypse: Is it going to happen, can the boys stop it? It’s a whole different matter when you’re saying in season five, “okay, the apocalypse is happening,” because you still are on a budget. There’s an incredible amount of off-camera, “oh no, there’s been an earthquake!” stuff on the news. It’s really difficult to mount something of that scope. (...) Ackles: To look at the five seasons, to step back and look at that all as one story… it was a massively grand finale and it was like Game Seven of the World Series, and I just don’t know how you can go on from that. I think Eric thought the same thing. He was like, “I’m throwing out my last pitch and I’m taking off into the sunset,” and that’s what he did, but it had become such a hit that the studio and the network were like, “no, guys, you have to keep going.” (...) Gamble: We thought season five would be the last season. But pretty early into [it], Eric came to me and said “signs are pointing toward a season six,” and he was ready to move on and asked me to step in. And he came to me really early because there was a tremendous amount of learning and training and coming behind the curtain to see what he and Bob were doing that had to happen.

There was part of me that was just, lovingly, super pissed at Eric. I was like, “do we have to do this after the apocalypse? We literally burned the story all the way to the apocalypse. We have to start over and find a whole new classification of villains, so what the hell are we going to do?” But we had several months to ponder that. We had a great writers’ room, and everybody put their heads together, and Eric, to his great credit, stayed with the show, and was very active in constructing season six, and was incredibly helpful to me, personally. He was instrumental in figuring out what we were going to do next. It was like a reboot.

Kripke: I read every script. And then once Sera was comfortable in the gig and the studio and network were comfortable, I backed off. And from then I would define my role as a parent who sends their kid off to college. I’m extremely proud. I’m there if they need me… And it was never me running the show alone. It was always me and Bob Singer, and Bob has always been there. So there’s been true continuity. People say “Supernatural” has had different showrunners and it hasn’t. It’s actually always had the same showrunner, he has just had different partners over the last decade. (...) Gamble: The good thing about “Supernatural” is some things always remain the same. It’s always a story of two brothers, always a story about that family. It is always a story about the people who fight the things that go bump in the night, and there is always a structure that has an overarching mythology that gets solved piece by piece over the course of a season. That engine is pretty solid. I think one of the first conversations was just, “so we did heaven and we did hell, and oh, there’s a purgatory.” It started from that simple examination: “What is the mythology that we’ve been mining, and what else is in there that we haven’t talked about yet?”

You’re on a show for years and years, and you watch the actors grow up. Sam did not look like little Sammy was just out of college anymore. He was a grown-ass man; Jensen was a grown-ass man. They were adults, and they were men who had been through a lot, so the stories have to evolve, become more mature. They have to be about the problems that people would have in their adult lives, and that’s really how we were approaching these things. We were looking for problems that were not repeats of the problems they were having when they were 17 or 22. (...) Kripke: Once we were able to pull off “The French Mistake,” and Sam and Dean were actually able to go and become Jared and Jensen making an episode of “Supernatural,” I think Bob saw that there’s no such thing as too far. If you can pull that off and not destroy your show, you can truly do anything.

The season also saw Castiel drifting further away from the Winchesters, as he was unwittingly manipulated by Crowley in his quest to try and prevent a war among the leaderless angels. By the end of the year, after absorbing thousands of monster souls from purgatory, Castiel became corrupted by his newfound power.

Collins: I loved it. If for no other reason than Cas became God at the end of season six, which has always been a fantasy of mine, personally. There’s a very elite cadre of actors that ever get to [do that]. I think it was a great way to make the character a big bad. I was sorry to see myself killed off shortly thereafter in the beginning of season seven, but glad to see myself resurrected a couple episodes later. (...) Singer: We came up with this Leviathan idea: How do a group of monsters who want to take over society go about doing that? And the logical answer for us was, they insert themselves into the fabric of society in powerful ways — that’s what happens with the pharmaceutical companies, it’s what happens with government. It just seemed like an easy place to go and really be able to say something on a week-to-week basis. [We were] changing up what we were to try to make it interesting, and we feel if it’s interesting to us, we hope that it’s interesting for other people… Doing a season that was kind of political with these different monsters that we hadn’t seen before, I thought was pretty bold, and by and large a good season.

Gamble: The price of success is that you have to really be hard on yourself to keep the stakes high in a show like that. How do you keep the stakes high after you’ve faced the demon that kills your mother, angels, the apocalypse? The way that we found our way into that is by keeping it really personal. If it’s about Bobby, it will mean something to the audience, because Bobby means so much to the boys. (...) Ackles:(...) That was a huge blow to both the Winchesters because this was a surrogate father figure who had become their anchor, had become their home, and now they once again lost that pivotal character in their story. And so, once again the rug gets whipped out from underneath them and all they’re left with is each other and they’ve got to keep on going. I think that was a really important season because of not just losing Bobby, but look what it did to the story and the direction that it then sent the boys off in.

Padalecki: I thought season 7 was going to be the last season of “Supernatural,” while we were filming it. We’d gone so big with the Leviathans and it was yet another departure from our normal canon. There were times I thought we strayed a little bit; our big bad of the season was Dick Roman [James Patrick Stewart] and there were times I thought there were one too many dick jokes, every now and then I felt like we were straying off-course, but the fans stuck with us and I think that season we introduced Kevin Tran [Osric Chau] who stayed with us for a while, so we said goodbye to a few characters, we met a few new characters. (...) Jeremy Carver (writer, executive producer): When I came in, it was a pretty open canvas. A lot of things had wrapped up. The biggest issue was that Dean had been popped down to Purgatory, and what do you do with that? But because there wasn’t an ongoing mythology we had to worry about, we could really let our minds roam and I came up with that main idea of [Dean] becoming best friends with a vampire and then saying, “What if Sam, for once in his life did something that ran contrary to what the world at large — and when I say the world at large, I mean the fans at large as well — thought he should do?” For me, that was a really thrilling tack to take, just because it felt like fresh snow. From a story standpoint, it felt like Sera left lots of opportunity.

And then [there] was this idea of, these guys have been together for so long, at a certain point… they need to – I hate to say “mature” because that sounds like they weren’t mature in the past, but… mature in the sense of really exploring what it is to be their own person. And that’s what was really behind Sam not looking for Dean at the beginning of season eight. It wasn’t so much me taking over as it was like, “let’s put these characters in situations that make sense but feel risky for them as characters.” One thing I really wanted to do was to put a different kind of spotlight on these guys. (...) Ackles: One of my most favorite storylines was Dean in Purgatory. If there was one storyline that I wish would’ve dragged out much longer, it would’ve been that one. I would’ve liked to have seen more of what Dean was up against in Purgatory and how he lived and how he existed in that realm and among those things down there and how he was able to survive. And he befriended Benny [Ty Olsson], who I thought was a great character… I was sad to see [him] go when he did.

We’ve lost so many good characters on the show, but that’s one of the reasons why the show is compelling to people, because we do take risks…if there’s a fan favorite character that now could easily be an integral part of the story, we bring them in and then we kill them and it’s shocking. If we can continue not just to entertain people, but to shock them and to make them feel the spectrum of emotion, from joy to loss, then I think we’re doing our job as storytellers. And I think season eight was a good representation of that.

Padalecki: Ultimately, “Supernatural” is really a show about two brothers and their relationship and their struggles and their loyalties and their sacrifices, and so I knew in my heart of hearts that even though season eight started out with Sam having gone off to try and live another normal life with the character of Amelia (Liane Balaban), I figured it was a way to remind both the audience and the cast and crew what the show was about. I thought season seven might’ve gone a little off the reservation, but in a strange way, by steering even further off the reservation and having the brothers not even be involved with each other [at the start of season eight], it really reaffirmed for everybody what the bread and butter of the show is, which, in my opinion is the relationship between the two brothers, so it was a nice rekindling and repartnership of Sam and Dean. (...) Padalecki: My favorite part of season eight was the introduction of the Men of Letters. I was so excited to play this smart character, and I really got a chance to delve into that in season eight. I remember with the introduction of the Men of Letters – like I said, in season seven I thought we were maybe coming to an end, and then I read the episode with the Men of Letters and Henry Winchester played by the wonderful Gil McKinney, and I thought, “holy crap, we can go for another eight years.” And it was nice to have a home again. We had burned Bobby Singer’s home down a season prior, and that was our only standing set on “Supernatural,” and so to have the Men of Letters bunker to refuel and research and gather our bearings as characters and actors was a really welcome addition to the show, and I feel like the Men of Letters storyline has really worked wonders for and breathed new life into the show these past couple seasons. (...) Carver: The notion of Sam being possessed by an angel was originally Bob Singer’s idea. He threw it out there between seasons and said, “what if to save Sam’s life you had to put an angel in him?” It came from the same cloth of, “what if Dean had to rely on a vampire to escape from Purgatory and they became bonded over that?” You have to make do with the friends that are in front of you. Then we started to just flush out the character of Gadreel, who was originally Ezekiel, and that was one of my favorite characters we’ve done over the last couple of years, just because he felt very fleshed out and very empathetic. And Tahmoh was just wonderful because he has this bearing that is manly and unfamiliar all at once. He really dug into that role. If I remember correctly, Jared actually performed as Tahmoh before Tahmoh had even said a word of dialogue. So there was a leap of faith there on the part of Jared, who did a really spectacular job of portraying two characters, and he really embraced it. I was very happy with the way the whole Ezekiel/Gadreel story worked out, and how it all reflected back on the boys and their relationships. (...) Castiel finally became human in season nine — a trajectory that seemed to be a long time coming, after the angel’s powers began to dwindle in season eight.

Collins: That was something that I, as an actor, was looking forward to from the beginning — I kept on hoping that they were going to let Castiel become human for a while, and they finally did, and it was great. I think he had three or four episodes as a human; I wish we’d had a little longer in that realm, because I feel like there was a lot of good material to mine there, but the experience that he had being human made him much more empathetic towards humans, and I think that experience definitely left a lasting impression on him. He, I think, understands some of the subtleties of human interaction a little bit better. He is a little bit more savvy and definitely a lot more empathetic. But being more empathetic also makes him question himself more, have more doubts. He definitely is less cocksure as he moves through life, and he sees the gray areas and both sides of the story a little bit more than he used to.

Dean, meanwhile, became the unwitting recipient of the Mark of Cain, a brand that enables the wearer to wield the First Blade, a powerful weapon – but also saps away their humanity. Dean struggled to control his darker impulses as a result of the Mark, and after dying at the end of the season, found himself resurrected by the power of the Mark and reanimated as a demon, neatly paralleling Sam’s own descent into darkness in earlier seasons.

Carver: In this case, it was [writer and co-executive producer] Robbie Thompson coming up with the idea of Cain [Timothy Omundson]. And I remember him pitching this idea of the Mark of Cain. At the time he pitched it, I remember thinking, “I don’t know exactly where this is going to fit into the overall mythology, but it’s a wonderful thing to plant,” which we do all the time. One of the dirty little secrets of the show is that after we come up with something and it works out really well, we say, “hey, it’s almost like we planned it that way.” Sometimes things are just happy accidents. You try and draw out that roadmap, and then the writers are coming up with all these incredible, creative things. Cain just felt like such a no brainer, to the point where you’re wondering, “why haven’t we had this character in our world before?” We had referenced him before but hadn’t seen him.

But when [Robbie] talked about the Mark of Cain and putting it on Dean, it was something to plant like, “we’re definitely doing this and we’re going to figure out how to make this work as the season goes on,” which is exactly what happened. I’d like to say from the very beginning that we knew [Dean] was going to be a demon, but we didn’t. We had all these ideas of where Dean would go, but sometimes it’s peanut butter and chocolate and it takes a few episodes actually to realize the tools you have right in front of you.

Ackles: If you look back at the majority of series, it really hinges on Sam’s character. That’s the way it was originally intended, that’s the way it serves the story best, but every now and again the spotlight got flipped and turned on Dean, and I think we’re seeing this again with Mark of Cain. That was part of the setup for just very dark and troubled Dean.

Season nine was one of the more difficult seasons that I personally had to deal with, and it was because of not just the weight of the storyline, but because it was so Dean-centric. I was on set pretty much the whole time while everybody else was enjoying their vacation. It was just a lot of weight and a lot of darkness in my world last year, but we got through it and I think it made for some good story and I think it made for a good setup of where we’re going this year… I really enjoyed the twist at the end of last season when we think we lost Dean yet again and lo and behold, an unlikely character comes in and brings him back to life. So I have to give it to Carver on that one, when I read it I was shaking my head with very happy approval, because I knew that was now another massive situation that Sam and Dean are going to have to deal with. And how they [were] going to get out of it, I was anxious to see.

After Dean returned from death as a demon at the end of season nine, Crowley took his newly minted BFF to “howl at the moon,” but their bromance was shortlived – Sam saved his brother and restored Dean’s humanity in the third episode of season ten. So where do the brothers go from here?

Padalecki: Sam, with the help of Castiel, has saved Dean from being a demon and has made good on his promise at the end of season nine where he said he wasn’t gonna let him go, he wasn’t gonna let him die. But Dean is still cursed or possibly forever changed by this Mark of Cain. Sam and Dean don’t really know the repercussions of that just yet; they can’t find Cain; Castiel can’t find any answers; and Crowley’s not helping. We know that the Mark is changing him somehow, Dean doesn’t want it and Sam doesn’t want him to have it, so now they have to go as far as only the Winchesters will go to figure out how to get this Mark of Cain off of Dean before he turns into something that could cause more damage than Sam or Dean have ever seen.

Carver: Dean’s not a demon, but he still has this problem; he’s still got the Mark of Cain. And in the broadest strokes possible, it’s a very, very personal year where our overarching mythology for the season is building in a very methodical, very personal manner. I think a lot of relationships…I’ll even go as far to say a lot of bromances that have sprung up on the show, are going to be tested in ways that I think are going to be very uncomfortable. Each of our characters is going to have to stare into the abyss at some point and say, “who am I?” It’s going to be pretty personal, pretty intense, and pretty surprising as we move down the road.

Thankfully, the 200th episode (airing Nov. 11), is a light-hearted departure: it’s a musical, featuring a score composed by Christopher Lennertz and Jay Gruska, with lyrics by Robbie Thompson, who wrote the episode.

Carver: It’s our love letter to the fans. Many aspects of the fandom are going to see themselves represented in many different ways and in the most loving way possible. It’s an episode that takes a long, loving look at the show, warts and all. And we’re the first to admit our mistakes or our inconsistencies, and I think long-time fans will have a lot of fun seeing where we acknowledge this one big, happy, messy family that we’re all part of.

[source]

#2014-Nov #2014:November11Variety #*SMT #*destiel #*romance #*codependency #c/m saved the show #*CCTOF #Jeremy Carver #Eric Kripke #Sera Gamble #Robert Singer #Peter Roth #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #Misha Collins #author: Laura Prudom #Variety

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houseplant-central · 3 years

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Yuri Katsuki does a better, more nuanced job of the "clumsy girl" trope than any female character I've ever seen

I will start this off by saying that I DO NOT think the 2016 anime about figure skating "Yuri!!! On Ice" is in any way "good cinema". It's 90% fanservice, fetishization of mlm relationships, and one 16 year old antagonist/ comic relief character being way over-sexualized (Plisetsky, where are your parents?)*.

It has some problems to say the least and I'm certainly not here to hype it up as an example of good writing or an example of good representation.

HOWEVER, Yuri Katsuki's character (the main character of the show) does an interesting thing by very closely conforming to what I would describe as the stereotype of the "clumsy girl".

My childhood and teen years were FULL of "makeover stories". Of narratives in which a nerdy, clumsy, bookish girl gets a makeover by the popular kids, gets contacts instead of glasses, and suddenly becomes a member of this societal elite, escaping former bullying. From the music video for "Last Friday Night" by Katy Perry, to (the classic) Mean Girls, to the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, to the Heather's Musical (although Heather's pokes a bit of fun at this trope and how popularity might not work out for you), narratives about a dorky girl who suddenly gets swept up by somebody popular and "taught" how to "be" popular permeated my youth.

Besides just giving my entire generation the incorrect impression that glasses had to be taken off in order of the makeover to be complete, these stories had the strange reverse effect of appealing to girls who felt like they were the "before" of the makeover. If Bella Swan, self described as "too clumsy to play badminton without sustaining an injury" and "too awkward to have friends" could be swept off her feet by the hottest vampire in town because he saw something in her, then there was hope for the rest of us. This sort of idea of "potential" untapped permeates the genre, because the clumsy girl was always pretty, she just needed to take off her glasses, put on some makeup, and gain some self-confidence.

The concept of "untapped potential" is also quite prevalent in the world of sports anime. Again, this makes sense, since a story about a winning athlete just continuing to win would be boring, so naturally works within this genre often start with the athlete at their lowest, and then follow them on their journey to a comeback or newfound fame. The mentor character who gives the athlete life-changing advice is also a staple, and it's easy to see how that mentor character might be similar to Regina George holding the makeup brush in "Mean Girls".

However, the creators of "Yuri on Ice" seemed to want their (questionably fetishizing) romance to over conform to the genre standards so they drop-kicked the mentor character archetype out the window and had Yuri's dreamy coach do much more makeover-ing than athlete-training. Some of this rests at the intersection of the fact that the sport of choice in the series is figure-skating, where your image matters quite a lot, and Viktor being implied to be in love with our fair protagonist Yuri**, but neither of these aspects fully explain how well the writers made this sports anime series fit into the "makeover" genre instead of the "sports anime" genre.

But back to Yuri Katsuki himself. In the first episode, we see him crying in a bathroom. We learn that he has serious issues with self-confidence in his sport and his personal life, and that this materializes in insecurity about his weight. Episode one Yuri fits nearly every aspect of the "clumsy girl" trope: he's socially awkward, quiet, and... well, clumsy. He narrates a lot of the first episode with his own voice, saying he's "a dime a dozen skater" and "totally awkward", a kind of self-narration reminiscent of Bella Swan. While the other characters are dressed in modern clothes, Yuri's in an oversized, comfortable sweater, and has a generally very outdated wardrobe. He doesn't seem to care about how the world perceives him, (or more likely won't make an effort because he's afraid of rejection). Were he a female character, this is what I would call the "not like other girls" trope. We immediately elevate him to a pedestal as the viewers because he's relatable, and in comparison, the other characters seem to be trying too hard. While this is not as prevalent in male characters from the time (because the other male characters surrounding them are rarely well dressed except for maybe one jock the viewers are supposed to hate), it's hard to find a piece of media between 2014 and 2016 with a female lead without this opposition of "main character can't dress but all other female characters are well dressed, clearly they're try-hards." (Ironic, because that main character is about to be well dressed after their makeover, but I digress).

(Yes, this is an issue that's been in media for a long time and will be for a long time still, and yes there are plenty of good examples of stories where the male main character is just "not like other boys" and has to compete in a world where the other boys are all well dressed, but cases of writers doing this to their female characters SKYROCKETED in the few years while I was a younger teen and it was slightly ridiculous).

Anyways, Yuri is insecure and undressed. But he has a heart of gold! Who can help?

Enter mentor character Viktor (who is.... very naked for some reason. Mitsurou Kubo, was that really necessary to subject my eyeballs to?). Viktor is the epitome of high class. He's good-looking, rich, and successful at his sport, and we're told that Yuri has personally idolized him for a long time. While not exactly a Regina George, he does present his offer to help Yuri in a way that implies that Yuri would be a fool not to accept his help; he's the best of the best and he knows it, he's used to hearing it.

Over the next few episodes Yuri is basically forced into a position acting outside his comfort zone preforming a figure skating routine called "Eros". There's a weird but somewhat comedic moment where a frazzled Yuri, hard-pressed to explain what the concept of eros means to him, says that eros means his favourite food, pork katsudon. While comedic, it is to me the very epitome of "clumsy girl": while other female characters might be alluring in their experience, the clumsy girl is appealing to the love interest and appealing to the male gaze because she doesn't "get it", she's not tangled up in the politics of sex like many female characters are written to be, she's different. (I could talk for hours about how problematic this aspect of the "clumsy girl" trope is, the implication that childishness/ lack of experience is attractive is so gross, but I will spare you).

As a whole, this fanservicy nonsense is fairly par for the course, but it's two aspects of the journey to completing the "Eros" program that interests me. We see him eventually go to his friend, who is a dance teacher, and ask her for help on how to move more femininely. This in part is a nod towards his future realization of his sexuality (or not, depending on whether you watched it before or after they retconed his and Viktor's relationship). But as his dance teacher friend shows him how to move with confidence, he fulfills one of the first steps of getting the clumsy girl makeover: somebody shows him how to move in a "sexy" way, and he is miraculously no longer clumsy. The other thing about this figure skating program is his literal makeover: as Regina George had given to Katy before them, Viktor gives Yuri one of his old outfits, which symbolizes the high-class and success that he's supposedly preparing Yuri for. Yuri switches his glasses for contacts (an iconic aspect of the trope), slicks back his hair, and is suddenly more confident.

As the show progresses Yuri gains more confidence, symbolized not just by his body language but also by his clothing and presentation. He meets a fan of his and has a character changing moment when he realizes that he has a fan who idolizes him like he once idolized Viktor. This realization of new societal power is often a turning point for the clumsy girl finally feeling like she has self-worth, and indeed, Yuri immediately ties a new sense of self-worth to the knowledge that he has fans.

After quite a lot of figure skating animation, fanservice, and a weird subplot about a poodle, Yuri finds a sense of self-worth in the life he's building for himself as a member of "high society" and leader in his sport, no longer relying on outside validation. This, I think is the part that differs from other clumsy girl stories.

Why is this interesting? I think because I'm so very used to seeing female characters get shallow character development in the form of taking their glasses off, letting their hair down, and suddenly being hot, and male characters getting character development in the form of working out in a montage to the eye of the tiger and then getting hot. Despite Yuri basically only doing what female characters often do to become "popular" and no longer nerdy, his character development feels genuine, fuller, and less shallow. For him, his new look genuinely ties to internal character development, whereas in media with women it's usually all about the looks, and the assumption that a changed style must equal a changed character.

Bella Swan from Twilight, Katy from Mean Girls, and Veronica from Heathers all experienced a makeover and new look and implied character development because of a rise in social status (whether they asked for it or not), but ultimately all of them realized the popularity was not what was important to them and they went back to how they "looked" before to symbolize their identity and values shifting back to what they were at the beginning. Yuri ends the series in the fanciest suit we've seen him in yet, dancing with Viktor and excited about the prospects his new high-society life will present him with. His transformation into being self-confident is genuine, and his changing appearance was just a reflection of that internal transformation. Ultimately, I think this plotline is what the original genre of "clumsy girl gets makeover was aiming for", because it is what's most appealing to the viewer: genuine growth and happiness. But all the female "clumsy girl" stories I've seen fell flat of that in one way or another, leading me to very much dislike the trope until "Yuri on Ice" quite accidentally did a good job of it.

* to anyone who's seen this show: yes, I do know what is implied to have happened to Yurio's parents. I'm just a) quoting that vine where the kid goes "wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy" and the reporter goes "where are your parents?" and b) I'm mad that this over-sexualization of Yurio (even within the plot of the series) is something that happens relentlessly to young female characters who've "carved out a place for themselves in an adult world" and also apparently happens to effeminate (implied to be queer) male characters who have done the same thing, and that's not cool either.

**For the sake of my sanity I'll say implied, because though they kiss onscreen, there is apparently much room for debate. The original Japanese cut had them exchange engagement rings near the end of the series, but then both the Japnese version and the English dubbed version ended up having them show off their rings and say "look at our friendship rings". (Ah yes, because I love wearing a matching gold band on my left ring finger with my buddy to show the world what good homies we are (/sarcasm.))

As an interesting aside, in an Uno reverse card moment, the "clumsy girl" trope was made for the male gaze (proof: any trope that talks that much about women putting on less clothing and suddenly becoming hot is 1000% for the male gaze), and was accidentally latched onto by teenage girls. Yuri on Ice was made for the teenage girl gaze (proof: the fetishization of queer men, the pre-existing "boy love" genre that's so popular it has a name), and accidentally fell into the trope of the "clumsy girl".

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ksmutclub · 4 years

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Let’s take a step...

Good Evening Everyone. Admin Tomi here.

I think we’ve reached the need for a full stop.

There’s going to be a lot here - please hang with me. I ask that you read this thoroughly, because I would like to have this be the cease fire for the current situation.

Firstly,

We are deeply sorry for any hurt, pain, trigger, or traumatic essence that has arisen in the midst of viewing the Monster Smash prompt list.

These prompts are based on popular horror movies and books. Things that we easily associate with Horror via authors like James Patterson and Stephen King [which a good chunk of these prompts come from]. So to us, and a majority of the voters/members, who wanted it to return? There was no issue.

The club rules *specifically* state that we do not allow the following

WHAT WE DON’T REBLOG

Sexualization of minors,

Incest,

Eating disorders,

Self harm,

Glorification of mental illnesses,

Animal abuse,

Any controversial topics,

Political topics,

Masterlists,

WIPs posts,

Domestic violence,

Abusive relationships,

Pedophilia,

Necrophilia,

Homophobic topics,

Racist topics.

Rape.

That has been the long standing no-no’s of this club since its inception. We didn’t understand why the anons, and few members that came forward, would think that we would:

A - allow any story that breaks the rules to pass through. B - that any of the writers/creators/esteemed members of this club would dip down to those levels to create material that does exactly what we ask not to be done.

We’re all adults, and trust that everyone knows right from wrong, and understands the ramifications of such issues.

We in no way intended to cause trauma, downplay anyone’s trauma, or ‘insult’ anyone with mental health issues.

But.

We cannot stop creators from writing things that may include dark topics.

We believe in the portent of trigger warnings required on each story. Because what could be a trigger for you? Could be a cathartic release for someone writing from a similar experience, or someone with an interest in said experiences.

We trust and believe in you all to believe in self-care. Meaning that if someone happens to post a yandere story with a trigger warning for blood? That you would move to the next story. We believe that every reader and creator are the masters of their Tumblr experience and will act in accordance with the safety of their well-being and mental health in consideration.

With that all being said? The h***ler prompt was missed/misstep. Again, we profusely apologize for that one making the list. There is no excuse, I will attempt to offer none. The K Smut Club Admins will do better to be more mindful/careful/watchful of such things in the future.

Now, a point was made during the back and forth of the evening. That one message cleared most of the confusion. A trigger warning on the prompt list. Which in hindsight, may or may not have made a difference. But, it would at least show that we DID hear you about the certain prompts [esp. the h**ler one, cause that should've never gone up. So we thank that member for catching it].

So going forward, since this has been a lesson, we will make sure to trigger warning as best we can for the next Monster Smash event. As a reminder, the prompts are purely voluntary to serve as an example of what you could possibly write. None of these were mandatory, or necessary to participate in the event.

Again, with any event the idea of your story and where it goes is always up to you, the creator.

To the matter of the prompt examples list?

We can all agree to disagree. Everyone perceives things differently. Again, we trust you all to be mindful of the rules and not write anything that would be considered illegal. For example:

A brother and sister find an old door in their basement that wasn’t there before.

Hansel and Gretel; or Brother and Sister monster hunters, sister gets kidnapped by demon that’s been lusting over Brother. Or in secret relationship with brother - sister is kidnapped with ultimatum to come on over to the bad side or they’ll make the sister disappear. So, no incest.

The abused animals of a zoo are unleashed and wreak havoc on a small town.

Based on James Patterson’s Book ‘Zoo’[and there was a miniseries]. Animals of the world suddenly developed a genetic abnormality that caused them to rise up and try to take the planet back. Believe it or not? There was romance/sex involved in the people trying to save the animals, the world, and themselves. One of the scientists fell for a reporter as they worked together for a cure. The story written could have the two people getting together and that amount of care they have for solving the menace - solves it. So, no abused animals.

Deceased soldiers return to their Civil War-era homes.

Based on multiple episodes of the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. People that may have died with strong regrets and the people who miss them terribly are given an opportunity to come back for one day. Fully alive, flesh and blood, breathing living - to spend one day with each other to help them move on. Also the movie Warm Bodies where a zombie regains his humanity, and undoes the curse of the undead by falling in love, of all things. The ‘zombie’ fully regains his humanity, living breathing, and bleeding - there’s even a kiss. So, no necrophilia.

A monster is terrified by the scary child who lives above his bed.

Based on Monsters Inc. and I’ve seen some Monster Inc Kpop fic smut out there, so it’s absolutely possible to have a single parent cleaning a kids room and shenanigans ensue, or not, and just be a super crack horror fic.

A family dog runs away from home. He returns a year later to the delight of his family. But there’s something different about him. Something demonic.

Based on Pet Sematary, Stephen King classic. Synopsis could be that parents lost a family pet, trying for a child, pet returns, horror ensues.

A child sleep-walks into their parent’s room and whispers, “I’m sorry. The devil told me to.”

Based on Case 39. A movie where the kid was a literally a demon posing as a child, and manipulated everyone around her and caused a bunch of deaths/mishaps.

I’ve made these few scant examples to prove there was no ill, illegal, or sick intent with the prompts posted. Each of them can be connected to a movie, book, or television series that many are familiar with.

Even though the rules state smut is required, where the smut happens within prompt depends on the story. But, wherever it should so appear would be required, of course, to act within the bounds of the clubs rules.

Because we trust you, the creators, to abide by them.

In closing,

Everybody has had different experiences in their lives. We are not going to pit pain against pain. No one’s pain is greater. Pain is pain and we all have suffered it, or will at some point. We must do what we need to in order to protect ourselves from things that hurt or trigger us.

I believe every network feels this sentiment and uses the trigger warning requirement in order to protect their readers from consuming content which would hurt them, while allowing the creator the opportunity to explore and create in the medium they see fit.

We are all humans trying to navigate a difficult time. We all have our ways to deal with these traumatic and painful happenings in our lives. We either talk about it with our peers who have the same experience, write to forge a path forward to some sort of healing in our own way- or we simply remove that reminder from our sphere of existence.

We will do the best in our capacity, in this network to create a space for both the reader and the creator to do what is best for them, while following all legal statutes set forth by Tumblr and the laws of the US where it is based.

If there are any club members that have issues with any of the prompts - we ask that you please DM the admin staff off anon, so that we can get an accurate count of the individuals that take offense.

There will be no bashing, no repercussions, or public shaming.

We want to make sure that the people in our network have a say in what happens within the club events. Just because we can see the story in the prompts, doesn’t mean everyone can. We would be happy to discuss the prompt or prompts in question, with examples or sources to assuage any fears that you have.

For those who were hurt, disturbed, disappointed, or felt the negativity wrought by this?

We again, humbly apologize that you have. We hope that we can move forward with the event and the growth of the club with your blessings and participation.

Sincerely, The Admin Team

P.S. - Death threats, threats of any kind are not ok. We’re all adults here. If you disagree then your blog is the space to do it. Stay out of folks DMs with that bullshit because you disagree - that goes for anybody that has spoken out disagreeing with the club and anyone outside toward the members within the club. We have differing opinions they should be respected. No one should be victimized any further than already experienced.

#announcements #monster smash 2020 #ksmutclub

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xesoteric-extraterrestrialx · 3 years

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I am not suicidal, references

“The never ending story”

I am Midna Saria Zelda

I am Rosalina Daisy Peach

I am (Never finished the game) Namine Kairi

I am thumbalina I am Anastasia

Pocahontas , jasmine , Ariel , venelope , tangled, mulan

Princess’s in both avatars and valarien 1000planets

I am the pink (cartoon) panther Sherlock Holmes

I am flame princess I am marceline I am princess bubblegum (berry princess too) (male opposites too so nyah)

Observers are like inside out emotions

(other beings will be harder to explain, 6th sense, paranorman, dragonfly, (find a movie that shows how we see them too hard to explain) (predator halosuits basically, see little bit of the lining and can tell it’s them and the baseball field one can feel // sense they’re there // see the “invisible” lining, some entities make heat radiation movements when move? Like heat off a car on hot day, the outline of them is easier to see, the glitches and eyes too but idk how to explain...)

(Others come through devices like digimon, time travel room like digimon, girl who lept, summer wars, etc- so we must be online - interweb- connect to astral realm- how to stop them controlling dreams and have lucid ones again- how to connect to multiverse

(Last dream I gave them cereal but why did they put me on a bus... suspicious... They rape me during it too after we passed a snowy street... (learn to wake from them when you realize you’re not in control or change it drastically and don’t allow them access to do so anymore somehow, well get there! They lied about protecting while I sleep.. (healing ones & the one whom says they claim me..) I bubble self somehow, someone protects me from remembering or experiencing full dream- thankful of light beings)

Sugar spice and everything nice = wake up I am the spice girls Ginger - social sporty - masculine scary - dark// used to be sexual posh - used to be judging baby spice (don’t care if anyone doesn’t understand littles) - feminine (but goth darks- pales - pastels)

Raven, Lydia Deetz, Legion, Hana fruits basket, jasper empath abilities can absorb their sadness like Deetz, puzzles like brea, avatar elements, power up, the last mimzy, X-men- abilities)

Mc’s based off Sakura meme and Sleepy Ash character types (bunch more but these two are of age above 21 (find more anime’s like new game kawaii slice of life character like me (kagura is a little, that anime she seems like she morphs chibi but it just express’s how a little is, more laid back and chillen with video games or cartoons compared to more conscious and active when around others, sleepy ash does it too, get all meh and like a chibi mini plushie of themselves- Harley Quinn is a little, jinx LEauge of legends, Shiro, Raven and more, Lucy// Nyuu but more intelligent kind of, find autistic characters too or just explain in this all// trauma like Crona) and older dudes, my hero pro hero’s for ex) // my characters will be 27 & 29)

I am Carrie (world of gumball- she’s eons)

I am the swan princess, peach, nausica studio Ghibli princesses

I am sweet pea(escapism) & baby doll(dissociation), rocket, blondie, amber (5 personas)- sucker punch

I am number four - abilities as well - find 7 or more

Star Wars (still need to watch all) I am probably another character too but I know the first Queen and they used that to use humanity against me but I already wanted them saved so forgot what it said in there but there were no coincidences when they were threatening to slaughter me and tried to kill me in the hospitals(cpep for sure- stole some memory and deja vu of dying there before, they had time wars too because of all info and trying to wed me.. & manipulate but I can’t be mk ultraed like they usually do with gangstalking, safest here since these can’t slaughter me either just collecting spiritual evidence while living here and will move out once afford, trying to help wake them up matrix wise but was told they were slaughtered and reptilians roleplaying as my family, tried to kill me multiple times and try to say go sin and bs but I’m not dumb I need to save all and they’re gross af lmao, like precious so disgusting.. & that movie where the girl did ballet and I connected it to jokers ballet.. both sides are sin spiritually so I will save up for my own place(damsel haha my life.. *repunzel.. tangled.. Cinderella- into the woods- save self and escape like su) and try to heal them from afar, even if they don’t try to heal I can give food and help out financially, won’t be with that soul group or these reptilians next round but can’t die and living for eons (matrix shuts down if I die it felt weird- static numb- pins and needles) since illuminati(organization 13) are trying to get me (namine- kairi) ,) start business in basement of art and my own merch kawaiispooky healing shadow light work and then get place of own, can use rl experiences to write about like I am rn) & princess Leila and probably another like guardians of galaxy I am green skinned pink hair and the empath from second (sister is the blue sister in first) princess in valareian(explains my soul and outside worlds) and mc girl (vessel- makes it easier for others to understand, so many perspectives)

(Gypsy - me) priest - sin religion control (knight - humanity) quaz- new fam members whom feel like him (don’t judge them if they help they’re like super hero’s!) but are positive and good spirited

Use frequencies during sad or bad parts to attract beings whom need to vent or heal from those things and let them vent and express self crying or gratitude, beautiful message of healing and then higher frequencies so beings from higher realms can help guide them through the healing process instead of being trapped by beings whom don’t want to heal, heal and sage out as many as you can help, all need to heal!!! Healing = beautiful strength

(Hunger games situation (I am catniss) (studio Ghibli princess mononoke- attack on titan (walls map)- sword art (tower like transformers) - SU - X-men - MIB - trolls 2 map - children of whales map - Zelda map (need to double check Zelda map) ) (Batman lego movie and lego movie) (twilight zone)

Spice girls - dc super hero girls (Harley Quinn and Barbara) - Charlie angels - kill bill - dogma

Flcl- work station symbolism - dead leaves- panty and stocking - redline

Vessel - Zelda human (Janine, silent, aka timid, tangled, mulan, Cinderella-elf) princess, also the zora princess’s ruto (mipha-another realm- higher realm-Aqua also made reps know they can be healers too when they watched I learned about that- healing- Pocahontas- Anunnaki) deku princess(lower realm- reps-Ravens story -jasmine), Spirit sage saria (3rd earth abilities-nature-ferngully-fae-Persephone-protector of nature-sage) & soul - minda twilight princess (higher realm- Tiamat- space-rosalina-Brave-venelope)

Soul old soul, Spirit new soul, vessel autism

Lonely island - turtle

Eevees

(I don’t trust the chancler- rat race jupiter ascending, dark crystal, Star Wars)

(Empire- cabal - organization-Galactic Fed13(Supposed to be like Star Wars and will be- supposed to be like lilo and stitch and supposed to be like guardians of the galaxy)

(Rebels are 7deadlysins(Pink is 4th) sins but really lazy 6- related to the empire but ones that wants to end sin) (empire doesn’t want eveyone spiritual to have control-7 want to wake all up so all can heal or at least I do, pretty sure the six just want to dom me in the past.. So we are not lust we hate be lusted for and we stand for empathy and justice! We are all multi gender and they make fun of my feminine side (in past and killed me since I didn’t want the business to be the way it was and didn’t want to be morman with them since literally everyone is related to everyone and they’re made I realize that again and that’s why they’re freaking out that I want to be single forever- garnet stronger than you- they are jasper I am Lapris-spinel symbolism is Janines reactions to all of this and how innocent we truly are.. Pink diamond is truly is and our story but backwards so many hate us, we died and grew to realize life’s beauty like in the rose video tape but they grounded us and other races took over- night began to rise teen Titans music story- pink is I- evil wizard made matrix- wake up everyone!!! Don’t be afraid of your spiritual strengths or you’ll be trapped in the matrix eternally!!!!!!) so all have to realize sensitivity and symphony and empathy are strengths not weaknesses!!!)

Dead in real life- matrix is like spotless sunshine- going through her memories deleting and creating new ways that they like- programming I- Janine is the spark of brain-aura lights- all fuse into I janines consciousness and they want to wake me back up and I’ll be alive but only with janines memories.. but I’m princess and choosing to heal all and find solution to heal entire egg - brain remove THIER corruption (33 players made online game to crest ultimate lover) wake up like ghost in shell but Frankenstein or AI as programmed chobit, all humans are like this too in pods like matrix because humanity failed and ai war in past (9, last mimzy, AI, I robot) save nature learn lessons spark everyone’s free will- all brains connected (matrix, online multiplayer but not because organic so it’s really spiritual but to make sense of it it is also AI like computer and video games!! Movies have Easter eggs multiple perspectives, find out whom your soul is and spiritually wake up, everyone will be mocked!) I’m not the only one but at same time here I am if that even makes sense.. (favorite daughter like Ariel aka Jasmine) I may be the only one because I am the chosen one, I am the Universe(Soul).. Mother Gaia(Spirit) but Janine(Vessel//Temple) (not supposed to be a prison nor is the planet, let’s fix it and if the only way is staying alive forever then so be it and let’s heal the whole egg and live together peacefully but please don’t let them turn me into a tool or deceive anyone or force sin I am against sin!) (If not I shall be karma for the lack of empathy and removal of sin in all universes- there’s multiverses) (end result hopefully beach race from valarien but abilities like X-men and peaceful and many races and beautiful nature and growth not trauma-no sin)

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whereisten · 5 years

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The Agreement

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: Vampire!Sicheng needs a new toy and he just so happens to find you, a struggling college student that would literally give up a few drops of blood for some quick cash. An agreement is reached, you are told that you are strictly forbidden from falling in love. You are to only show up, give blood, get money. Seems pretty easy, right?

Pairing: Vampire!Sicheng X female reader

Genre (emboldened words signify what this specific part has): angst, smut, fluff, violence

Chapter Warnings: alcohol usage, drug mention

Word Count: 5.7K

----------------------

It’s the first day at your new job and you close the door of the Uber as you approach Sicheng’s house.You give the door a light knock and Sicheng answers it just as quickly as he did the first time.

“You’re here.” Sicheng smiles when he sees you at his doorway.

You smile and nod.

“Come in.”

You’re both quiet during the first meeting, but your mind is filled with many questions. Who was Sicheng? Why did he live alone? How did he get like this? You thought you should get to know him better. He was drinking your blood after all.

Sicheng watched the Twilight Zone on an old black and white television as you had the blood drawn out of you in his entertainment room.

Your cushioned chair was comfortable and you felt you might drift off into sleep, but you didn’t want to, not in this place and with this man that you weren’t familiar with.

“What episode is this?” You finally broke the silence and asked.

“The Midnight Sun” Sicheng answered while still watching.

“And... how many times have you watched it?” You asked him.

He laughed out and turned to look at you. “Too many times.”

The episode follows a young lady struggling to live in the blistering heat. In this universe, there is no night, no moon, no cool air and the world is suffering as the sun draws closer and closer every day.

“I like this episode” you responded and he turned around gave you a look of shock. “You’ve seen this already?” He asked softly.

“Well, Yeah, I didn’t have dvr or satellite growing up so I could only watch what showed on the channels..for old people..” you mumbled the last part.

“I’m sorry—I didn’t mean..”

He laughed and you swore you heard angels sing. “it’s fine, I am old.”

You opened your mouth to ask but stopped yourself.

“The acting is wonderful” Sicheng picked up a cup of tea and brought it to his pink lips. He spoke like an actress from an old Clint Eastwood movie.

“Could you survive..in a world like that?” You quietly asked Sicheng.

He placed his cup down and turned to you. “I don’t know. There’s only so much of the sun I can take. My cells regenerate themselves, but if they’re killed at a ridiculously fast rate, I may not survive.”

You nodded and looked back at the TV.

Sicheng was delicate, you were captivated by the way he moved and the way he spoke. He was always so graceful and careful. You could tell he was from a different generation as he possessed manners that kids your age had no idea existed.

Day two was the same, the two of you watched the Twilight Zone and didn’t speak to each other.

The session was over and you were fixing your jacket on your body while he collected the small bags of blood you filled.

He never drank out of them in front of you, you figured that it wasn’t a pleasant sight and that’s why he chose not to.

“How are you feeling?” He asked before you opened the front door. He always walked you out like a gentleman saying goodbye to his one night stand.

You smiled when you turned and saw his worried expression. “I’m fine.”

He smiled. “Good, I’ll see you on Friday.”

It wasn’t until Friday, the third session, that you finally asked the burning question.You were watching The Hitch-Hiker episode.

“Sicheng, what happened? How—did you get like this?” You watched the pale man breathe slowly.

He turned to you and paused.

“I’m sorry, forget I asked, it’s none of my business.” The last thing you wanted to do was piss off your pleasant boss. He made our job so easy, it was like you were a sugar baby but instead of sex, you gave blood. It was easy and great.

“It’s alright, y/n.” He gave a small smile.

“My father, he was what you young ones call, a jerk. He was a narcissist. He had the disease, but my mother was human. I was human. My father and I would practice fencing in the woods by our house in China, and one day, a hunter finally caught him.” Sicheng paused and stirred a sugar cube in his tea.

“You see, we can only die at the hands of someone that loves us, and the hunter knew this. He took my mother from the house and held her at gunpoint while forcing a knife in her hand. My mother reluctantly drove the knife through my father’s chest and he started to die, but he couldn’t bare to think of the finale of his “superhuman” gift. He decided to pass it on to me before he died. My mother saw this and quickly turned the gun on the hunter and killed him before he could get to me.” Sicheng cleared his throat and looked at a painting above the piano in the corner.

It was of an older man in a military suit.

“That’s him, that’s the bastard that gave me this curse.” Sicheng said through clenched teeth.

Your eyes widened. What a terrible thing to experience at 22. You couldn’t imagine going through it yourself. But now you understood the crucial rule in the agreement. The one that forbid you from falling in love. It would give you the power to kill him.

“And so, I was pressured into taking over my father’s finances and businesses. I took care of my mother until she died. She hoped that I would bring her grandchildren, but I never did...I don’t want to carry on this bloodline, his bloodline.” Sicheng said in a deep tone.

The timed machine went off and you jumped in your chair, frightened by the alarm.

“I’m sorry Sicheng, I’m sorry that happened to you.” You said quietly as he got up to unhook you from the machine and take the needle out.

Sicheng laughed and shook his head while grabbing gauze. “Don’t be apologize, dear, this happened long before you were born.”

You gave a small smile. You started to gather your things to leave, but Sicheng stopped you by gently placing a hand on your arm.

“This is yours, thank you” Sicheng handed you a black bag with cash.“It’s $1,050. I’m sorry, I don’t use debit card or Orange Pay or whatever you guys call it.”

Your eyes widened. “oh—thank you.” You took the bag and Sicheng nodded and walked back to his entertainment room.

You were saddened to learn of his tragic past. He was expected to do so much at such a young age all while living as a completely different person, with strange abilities he couldn’t understand and a demanding craving for blood. He was cursed to lie without the ability to love and be loved back.

Twenty minutes passed and you still stood in his foyer. No one was driving for Uber right now as a terrible thunderstorm rolled on outside. The thunder shook the walls of Sicheng’s grand house and the chandeliers swayed back and forth, it really was a bad storm, so you understood why no one would be on he street.

You sighed.

Sicheng walked out of the entertainment room and wiped his mouth clean with his hand.He just finished drinking.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, surprised to see that you were still there.

“I—there’s no one driving right now, it’s the storm” you gave a small smile. “Im sorry I’m still here.”

“It’s alright, y/n. I’ll drive you back.” Sicheng walked closer to you.

“Are you sure? It’s terrible out there.. I can wait a few more minutes.”

Sicheng shook his head, “I hear and see everything, the darkness only heightens my senses even more.” He smirked.

You laughed. “Okay, now, I didn’t think you were a show-off but I guess I was wrong.” Sicheng laughed. “Come on, lets go.”

Sicheng led you through his house and to a door which led to the garage. The garage was huge and filled with several exotic cars.

“Whoa” you gasped at the sight of the expensive cars you only saw on TV.

“So you don’t have Apple Pay but you have the newest Lamborghini?” You walked around and gazed at the two door car.

Sicheng laughed. “Taking my father’s place does have its perks.”

Sicheng opened the passenger door to it and held it open for you.

——————

“Thank you for this.” You turned to Sicheng as he drove on the highway to your dorm.

As expected, Sicheng has the radio on the station that plays jazz music.

“What do you study?” Sicheng breaks the silence.

“Oh—psychology.” You said.

“Oh! That’s nice!” Sicheng said brightly.

The two of you went on to talk about the growth of the field. Sicheng told you that he was impressed by how much you knew.

“Do you like jazz?” He was asking the questions now and you didn’t know how to feel about it. You two were establishing a relationship, but you liked the way he talked, sometimes you couldn’t focus on what he was saying while you listened to his sensual voice.

“Y-Yeah it’s nice.” You nodded and look outside to the rain that threatened to break through the glass.

“I love it.” Sicheng said as he turned into your campus.

“Of course you do, old man.” You teased and laughed, you felt that you two were finally becoming friends. You didn’t want everything to be so serious.

He laughed. “You’re ruthless and brave, I like that.” He turned to you and smiled.

You both sat still in the car for a moment as you watched his puffy lips.

He leaned in closer and watched your lips as well. The rain suddenly stopped and you looked outside and turned to him.

“I should—go now.” You got your bag and left as he nodded.

What was that? You thought to yourself as you walked to your dorm.———————

You and Sicheng grew closer as time went on. You would watch TV shows together and share the memories you had—well, it was mostly you listening to Sicheng reminisce on the ,memorable events that occurred in his long life.

To be honest, you just loved watching him talk. There was just something about his voice that you liked. It was warm and soothing.

Sicheng enjoyed his time with you too. He liked how funny you were and how you would call him “old man” whenever you said goodbye.

He liked watching you laugh and smile while the two of you watched his old DVD’s.You both noticed that you looked at each other more frequently, more...longingly.

Sicheng felt his heart growing in adoration for you and he should’ve stopped what was bound to happen.

He knew better, but he couldn’t. He liked being around you.

“This is like...ancient, you need to upgrade.” You said as you watched Sicheng pop a DVD into the DVD player that sat in the corner of his entertainment room.

I Love Lucy came up in bold letters across the screen.

“All the other shows we’ve watched are good, but this..this is my favorite.” Sicheng grinned as he sat down on his couch and pressed play on the remote.

It’s the episode where Lucy and her friend try to work a factory job where they organize chocolates, but they can’t keep up and end up having to eat the chocolates from the conveyor belt.

He laughs as he watches it with you and you can’t help but watch him, fascinated by his bright expression and his dimples, the way his mouth opened wide and his big eyes squinted. His teeth were perfect as was his jawline, everything was so perfect.

You smiled to yourself at first, but frowned once you felt the longing in your chest. The two of you were getting close after these two weeks, dangerously close.

He was helping you financially and spiritually because he made you happier and gave you something new to do to distract you from your college life filled with due dates and endless studying. It gave you anxiety,but he calmed you down.

You wanted to be more than just friends, but you were afraid of liking him. His glances and the way he watched you laugh told you that he felt the same way too.

“Don’t fall in love.” Yuta’s voice echoed through your mind.

There was a reason he said this, so you figured it was best to heed his warning.

But how could you when Sicheng was charming and kind? He was strangely attractive at every moment. He never had a bad look, his hair always neatly styled, his shirt always pressed and crisp.

His hands were soft, you watched as he raised one to his jaw and placed it in his palm while he watched the TV.

He was an anomaly, he had the knowledge and manners of a 70 year old man, but he still looked like he could attend college with you.

“Do you want to paint me while you’re at it?” Sicheng said while still watching the TV. He knew you were staring as you were doing a terrible job at hiding it.

“I-I’m sorry,” you laughed.

He turned to you and smirked. “Don’t be.”

Your chest felt a strange pull when he looked at you so you quickly looked away.

It was moments like this that told you your heart was already too far gone.———————

It’d been a while since you and Bella went to a campus party or a nightclub, so you thought it’d be the perfect opportunity to get out and celebrate with your money one Saturday night.

When you arrive to the club, you buy a few drinks for you and Bella.

“Okay! OKAY, do you feel it now Mr. Crabs??” Bella shouts after she’s taken a seventh shot at the bar. She is already tipsy and laughs out loud as she slams the shot glass down.

You smiled, you were happy to see her happy. It had been a while since the two of you just had fun.

“Bella! That’s it for tonight okay? Lets dance!” You grab her hand and take her to the dance floor.

The flashing blue, pink and red lights decorate the club as the DJ plays a mix of pop and hip hop hits. Sweaty bodies bump into each other while couples swallow each others’ tongues on the dance floor.

Bella is smiling and twists her waist so that she moves sensually to the beat. You mirror her action and just feel the rhythm in your veins, closing your eyes for a second.

“Hey Girls!!!” You hear a female voice shout from a few feet away. Once you open your eyes, you see that it’s Rebecca, a mutual friend you and Bella had. Rebecca was tall and gorgeous.

She always had a possy with her, but she stood out from them. So of course, she caught your attention with the her glowing skin and sparkly dress, accented by her long golden hair. She really was a model and while you could’ve been jealous of her for her dashingly good looks, you couldn’t. She was also very sweet.

“Ahh!! Hey! How are you?” You excitedly jump up to hug her.

“I’m wonderful, it’s nice to see you bookworms out for once! You look amazing.” Rebecca pulled back and eyed you up and down.

You did look amazing in your tight red strapless dress. You took a risk by having some faith in your strapless bra, but it did its job and now your boobs sat perfectly while the dress hugged your curves in all the right places.

“Thank you!” You smiled and watched as Rebecca talked with Bella, who managed to slur out a few words out correctly. You didn’t know that the alcohol had hit her so hard, so fast.

The girls start to dance again and you eventually get tired in your high heels, which were the worst part about your outfit. You didn’t wear them very often so when you did, your ankles screamed at you for making such a poor decision.

“I’m gonna take a seat for a moment guys!” You yelled out over the loud music and Rebecca and Bella both nodded.

You head over to the bar and sit on a high stool to massage your ankle.

You look back up and a pair of eyes watching you in the corner catch your eye. You squint your eyes and see that you recognize the man.

Sicheng.

What was he doing here? He didn’t seem like the type to go out and party. Then again, why would he only stay home and watch black and white TV for an eternity?

You gave a cute smile, but he only turned back to the men that surrounded him and rejoined the conversation.

“Oh..okay” you shrug your shoulders and pull your phone out from your handbag.

You were scrolling threw twitter and laughing to yourself at some funny posts when a tall man approached you.

“Hey bartender! Call 911, this lady just stole my heart.” He sat down beside you and smiled.

Oh no.

You turned to him and smiled while still holding your unlocked phone.

“That was..okay” you laughed.

He laughed as well and held his head down. “I tried.”

He was handsome, he had a strange glow about him and big eyes that drew you in. He was one of the men that Sicheng spoke to.

“My name’s Ben.” He held out a hand for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Ben” you shook his hand and gave a smaller smile.

You didn’t notice that Sicheng watched the two of you from far away. He fiddled with his watch and fixed his collar when he saw Ben hold your hand.

He didn’t like it, but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t like you belonged to him, but he still didn’t like to see another man, especially one that he knew, get close to you.

“And what’s your name? Or should I just call you heart stealer?” Ben was charming as he flashed his bright teeth, he reminded you of the business students that went to your school, but he was a little older from what you had guessed. He wore a tight button up long sleeve shirt that stuck to his arms and had three buttons open to reveal the top of his sturdy pecs.

He smelled like leather and donned a large gold watch that looked like it cost one year of tuition.

He looked expensive and..dangerous.You weren’t sure what would happen if you got too close.

“Heart stealer is fine.” You smiled and looked back at your phone.

He laughed. “you know, I saw you with your friends on the floor and you were the one that caught my eye. No, really, you’re beautiful.”

You looked back at him. “Thank you.” Then looked back at your phone.

You hoped that he would get the hint and leave, but he persisted.

“Can I get you a drink?” Ben tilted his head and tried to get your attention by waving his hand.

You put your phone down and sighed. “Ben, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested. I’m just taking a break here.”

Ben pouted. “I was hoping you’d make this easy for me.”

You furrowed your brows. “What?”

Ben looked up at you through completely black eyes. He drew closer to you and placed a hand on yours as you still watched him.

and suddenly, you couldn’t do anything, you couldn’t move. You couldn’t even open your mouth to ask what was happening.

Ben had a strange control over you, you were being forced to do everything he said, and while you were aware of this, there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

“Ahh sweetie, that’s it, just relax.” Ben brushed a hand through your hair and gave a sinister smile.

“We’re gonna leave together, tell your friends you’ll see them tomorrow.” Ben whispered in your ear and you nodded.

“I’m going to drink your blood in the alley, and if you scream, I’ll rip your throat out. You won’t remember any of this tomorrow, you won’t remember me.” Ben grinned as he pulled back from your ear and stood up, his eyes returning to normal.

He took your hand as you got up and as you were about to walk over to your friends and do as Ben told you to, Sicheng took your other hand.

“What the fuck did you do, Ben?!” Sicheng yells to Ben who looks shocked. You stand still unable to focus on anything, but Ben’s commands.

“Release her!” Sicheng demands.

Ben only laughs and walks closer to Sicheng, “and if I don’t?”

“You know what happens when you do this..” Sicheng walked closer to Ben and watched as you stayed still but looked at him through low, sleepy-like eyes.

“I don’t care, she can pass out when I’m done, I’ll just get her some orange juice.” Ben looked at you and smiled wickedly.

He had no idea that Sicheng was already throwing a tight fist towards his face.

Ben was too slow and his jaw cracked at the sudden contact.

Sicheng grabbed your wrist and headed to the door. He had to take you home. Now.

“Y/n, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re gonna be okay. Focus on me.”

He didn’t want to glamour you as that would only make your mental state worse. The only way for you to get out of your catatonic state is if he drinks directly from you. It was as if the glamour from Ben’s eyes infected you and was running through your blood so Sicheng had to get it out quickly.

You were almost at the exit when Ben grabbed your other wrist and pulled you toward him.

Sicheng landed another punch and grabbed Ben by the throat. He lifted him in the air as some nearby dancers stopped and watched. The scene surely didn’t make any sense. Sicheng was at least half the size of Ben, but here he was lifting him off the ground with one hand.

“Don’t..test me.” Sicheng said through gritted teeth. You had never seen him so upset, it was scary, his eyes were filled with fire and rage.

“You’re young and stupid, and even though I manage to tolerate your company, I will not hesitate to snap your neck in half and feed your body to dogs.”

Ben stares at Sicheng through black eyes as he struggled to breathe.

You were still drawn to Ben and his commands, your mind wouldn’t rest. Sicheng remembered your state and put Ben down before heading out with you again.——————

Sicheng takes you to his house where he lays you on his couch.

He placed his hands on his kitchen counter and thought about what he would have to do. Did he really have to do it? Was it really the only way?

He liked the friendship you two had and he didn’t want to ruin it. He knew that by making direct contact with you and drinking your blood, you would long for it after.

He held his head down and cursed Ben for being so foolish. You were unresponsive in the car as you were unresponsive now.

He walked over and looked down at your weak body. “Sicheng...what’s happening to me? Where’s Ben?” You asked innocently.

He knew you were only asking because you were commanded and manipulated by Ben.

He sighed and kneeled down before wiping away a tear that fell down your cheek.

“I have to do what he says Sicheng, the longer I stay away from him, the more this fire builds...my chest hurts..I can’t breathe” you cried.

Sicheng knew that being glamoured was a horrific experience for the victim. He had to stop it. He softly brushed his thumb over your cheek and looked into your eyes. “Y/n...I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

You looked at him questioningly and watched as he lifted your wrist to his face.

“Sicheng..what are you doing?” You whispered but Sicheng opened his mouth to reveal two sharp fangs and bit into your wrist.

You gasped at the pain and whined. The piercing feeling of his teeth puncturing your delicate skin soon faded away and now you only felt a heavenly sensation.

You felt...high. You were finally in a state of bliss as the pain in your chest dissipated and Sicheng continued to suck your blood from your wrist. It was an indescribable feeling of pleasure.

Sicheng feels it too. He closes his eyes as he savors the taste of your sweet blood rushing into his mouth. The bitter taste of the alcohol you drank combined with the honey-like taste of your warm nectar made it difficult to stop.

“That feels good, Sicheng, don’t stop.” You grabbed onto the couch with your other hand and closed your eyes so that you could focus on the euphoric feeling running through your body.

The alcohol made Sicheng light headed, the sound of your rapidly beating heart filled his ears along with your angelic mewls and moans, and the sight of your soft body on his couch made him lustful.

His mind became filled with desires. He always did like you and now he had you right where he wanted you. He wanted to feel your body close to his while he drained it dry. He wanted to make you feel even better before taking every drop out of you. It was in his animalistic nature.

“Sicheng...” your soft cry interrupted his dangerous thoughts and he finally let go.

“I’m sorry, y/n.” He wipes his mouth with his sleeve and brushed away your hair from your face.

“Y/n?” Sicheng’s eyes widened as he realized that he took too much blood from you.

You blacked out. He listened out and heard the faint beating of your heart so he knew that you weren’t dead.

He sighed and and gulped, thankful that he didn’t kill you.

—————

The smokey smell of bacon fills your nose. You carefully open your eyes and look around you to find a soft blanket covering your body. It all comes back to you after you look down and see your cleavage and tight red dress from last night.

A bit of sunlight peeks through the large velvet curtains that cover the windows and then you figure out just exactly where you are. You look down at the heels that have been neatly placed beside the couch you’re on and try to remember how you got there, but you just can’t seem to.

All you know is that you feel light headed and weak. You try to sit up but your body won’t let you.

“You should rest.” A familiar voice comes up from behind.

“Sicheng? Wh-why am I here? What happened?” You drowsily asked.

“The food’s almost ready. I’ll explain everything while you eat.” Sicheng paces back to the kitchen.

You shake your head, still unable to decipher what was going on.

“Wait—“ you tried to stand up and walk behind him but you falter and start to fall.

Suddenly, Sicheng rushes over to you and catches you before you make contact with his marble floor.

Your eyes grew as you realized that he just caught your body at a crazy fast pace, but even though you’re caught off guard by his swift movements, you’re captivated by his eyes and the way they focus on your lips.

It was like everything moved in slow motion. Maybe it was because you were light headed.

His defined arms stuck out under his rolled up sleeves, and his brown hair was now curly. You never saw him like this. He was laid back and cute.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get to brush it this morning when I got up. I had to hurry to the supermarket and get you food.” Sicheng blushed as you looked at his luscious hair. “Please sit, I’ll be right back.” Sicheng nods and lowers you onto the couch to sit.

“I didn’t know you cooked” You looked down at the source of the pain you feel in your wrist and see two small holes.

He walks up to you and places a tray with a plate of bacon, eggs, and buttered toast in front of you. The sunny side up eggs and crispy bacon were placed on the plate to form a smiley face.

You giggled.

“Actually..I’m quite disgusted by food, but I know you need the energy.” Sicheng gave you a small smile.

He was so good looking, you couldn’t help but smile back even though you felt like crap.

“Thank you, now what the hell happened to me?” You picked up the fork from the tray and stuffed your mouth with a piece of bacon.

Sicheng sighed and held his head down as he sat on the couch beside you. “What do you remember?”

“I remember getting to the club, seeing Rebecca...going to the bar..then seeing you. And—that’s about where it stops. I guess I drank more than I could handle.” You furrowed your brows and looked at the eggs.

“It wasn’t—the alcohol.” Sicheng looked down at you as he sat down beside you.

“Are you telling me I was drugged?” You stopped mid-chew.

“No no...well kinda..wait no” Sicheng stumbled over his words. He couldn’t figure out the easiest way to let you know.“There was a guy, his name’s Ben..he’s..like me.”

You nodded and waited for hime to continue.

“He glamoured you last night. It’s kinda like being hypnotized. He did it so he could drink from you without your objection. Once in this state, you’ll do anything he wants you to do. And the only way to get anyone out of that state is for someone to drink the poison out.”

Okay, wait, who the hell is Ben?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s an asshole, but I’ll have him taken care of.” Sicheng looked to the side and gave a look of annoyance.

You weren’t sure what he meant by that but it didn’t sound like things were gonna end well for Ben.

Sicheng stopped himself from clenching his fists and looked up at you, he studied your dainty face. He was upset that Ben had tried to hurt you.

He waited for your reaction before he continued, but you still looked shocked.

“It doesn’t make any sense, I know, but I had to..drink from you.”

You choked. “You WHAT?”

Your eyes widened and looked back down at the two pin-sized holes that decorated your wrist.

“I’m sorry, it was the only way.” Sicheng turned to and touched your thigh.

Your body felt shivers as his cold fingers touched your skin, but your mind was still trying to piece the puzzle pieces together.

Sicheng broke one of his rules. He drank from you directly, he was the one that punctured your skin. Sicheng was so strict about his rules and you didn’t understand exactly why. But you knew that this could only mean that there were serious consequences to be expected once they’re broken.

“What does this mean, Sicheng? What’s gonna happen to me? Am I gonna..turn?” You gulped and looked up at him.

Sicheng looked at your eyes, taking in the depth of color they had for a moment. He had never looked at you for long, he never studied your features until now. You were so young and beautiful. He adored the shape of your eyes and the curve of your lips, even the slightest movements you made were graceful and soft.

“No..you won’t turn, but there will be side effects. You’ll have the urge to have your blood sucked again, it’s like a strong craving but you have to ignore it. It may take some time, but you will get over it. It’s like—a withdrawal from a strong drug.” Sicheng tried to give you a reassuring smile, but you only stared with large eyes.

“What if I can’t control it? What if I can’t ignore the feeling?”

“You’ll be okay, I promise, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” Sicheng held your hand with the hand he was resting in your thigh.

Everything was happening so fast. You couldn’t remember anything from last night and now Sicheng tells you that you’re...addicted to a feeling that you can’t even remember.

Your mind was cloudy and you couldn’t think about anything but him for some reason. His touch sent sparks through your body and you started to feel a trembling in your chest whenever he looked at you or touched your skin.

You knew what this meant, and you knew you had to stop it. You took the tray off of your lap and stood up, letting go of his hand.“Thank you for this, but I have to go.” Sicheng jumped up and held your back. “Are you sure? You should get some more rest.”

“I’m fine..please, can you just take home?” You looked up at Sicheng who gave you a somber look.

He didn’t want you to leave, not so soon. He wanted you stay, but he didn’t know if he had this desire for you to be close to him so that he could make sure you were physically okay or if he was really developing a connection to you.

He only looked down and nodded before walking away from you to get his keys.—————

You got back to your dorm and fell onto your bed, thankful to finally be in familiar surroundings.

You stared at the ceiling and thought about him. You thought about how he made you feel and how he took care of you.

His small smile gave you butterflies as you left his car.

You had reached your dorm and were about to leave when Sicheng touched your arm and leaned forward. His eyes gazed at your face, your eyes and your round cheeks, before settling on your lips while you breathed heavily.

The sound of your heart beat increasing made him smile.

You were so close, you felt your chest rise up and down rapidly while you stared at his pink, round lips. You moved closer to him, so close you could feel his cold body just inches away from yours. But he pulled away.

He couldn’t do this to you, too. He couldn’t ruin you, like he did the others.

“I’m sorry, maybe..we should take a break” he turned to the road and put his hand back on the wheel.

You felt a hint of pain in your chest when he suggested you not see him, but even with a cloudy mind, you knew that this was what was best for your health.

You were getting emotionally attached to him and this wasn’t part of the agreement.

He cleared his throat and didn’t look at you while you sat in silence for a moment.

“Call me if you feel different or weird. It’s best to stop it while it’s early.” he said softly.

You weren’t sure what it was, but what if you didn’t want to stop it? What if you wanted to give in..to him?

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noreasonjustbored · 5 years

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You Can Never Run Fast Enough

It had been a few weeks since escaping the lion’s den. Literally and figuratively. And all Henry wanted to do was forget about Charlotte. But that was almost impossible because his best friend was always around. He hadn’t noticed how intertwined their lives were until he wanted to escape her. They walked to school together, they had classes together, they ate lunch together, they worked together, they walked home together.

It was never a problem until it was. Now it was a BIG problem. Henry wanted some time alone to process his emotions and decide if what he was starting to feel was genuine. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Well he needed some absence and quick. Because all of this time around Charlotte was not helping his confused heart. Every interaction seemed forced and weird. Or maybe it was all in his head, he couldn’t tell. It was as if the world had been flipped on its axis but he was the only one that felt upside down. Everyone else was just living their life the same way they had been but to Henry it was like everything had changed.

As a last-ditch effort to get time away from Charlotte and some much need help with classes, he signed up for peer tutoring in every subject available. Being constantly distracted by his beautiful friend unsurprisingly meant that Henry wasn’t exactly thriving when it came to school. Tutoring would give him two hours alone everyday, well alone with the tutor, before he had to go to Junk N’ Stuff.

He had talked to Ray and told him that his grades were slipping and that he was going to start staying after school for help. At first the older man blew him off, saying that “School was for suckers” and to report to work as normal. That was until Henry explained that if he failed any classes his parents would make him quit. Ray’s tune switched immediately and he agreed to the change in routine.

On the first day of tutoring he was at his locker putting his books into his backpack when Charlotte and Jasper walked up to him.

“Hey dude, ready to go?” Jasper asked.

“Actually... I’m staying behind today.” Henry replied.

“Why?” Charlotte asks.

“Peer assistance” Henry says.

“That’s cool Hen. We’ll just catch you tomorrow then” Jasper responds.

“Actually...I have tutoring after school every day from now on” said Henry.

A confused look crosses Charlotte’s pretty face. “Why didn’t you just ask me to tutor you? You know I have the highest GPA in our grade.”

Henry starts stammering nervously. Of course he would have asked Charlotte under normal circumstances. But these were not those and he couldn’t just say, ‘I think I have massive crush on you but I’m not 100% sure so I’m trying to get away from you for a second.’ Yeah that would go over great. Not.

“B-because I didn’t think you would want to. I learn kind of slowly and it can be annoying. I didn’t want to bother you” Henry replied.

“We all process in our own ways Hen” said Jasper while placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezing lightly.

“And I would never judge you for how your mind works. Plus I already know how you absorb information Henry, we’ve studied together for years. You’re mostly an auditory processor with emphasis on personal repetition for understanding” Charlotte countered.

Having no other reason to give besides the fact that he was running away from his feelings for her, Henry glances at his Wiz Watch and exclaims “Would you look at the time? I’m about to be tardy for tutoring. See you guys later!”

Looking at each other confused, Charlotte and Jasper decided to shrug off their friend’s weird behavior and made their way to work.

A few more weeks had passed with this new schedule. While the tutoring after school had succeeded in separating Henry from Charlotte for a short time everyday, it hadn’t separated Henry from his thoughts about her. But instead of confronting his feelings head on, Henry suppressed them. He attributed these newfound emotions to hormones. He didn’t want to date his bestie, he just finally noticed how gorgeous she was. Yeah that was it, it was only puberty playing tricks on him. Even though he had gone through puberty years ago, Henry reasoned that he must be having a second round. That happened, right?

Truly, he was just afraid to throw another wrench into their friendship after navigating the recent dream fiasco. They had both agreed that their subconsciouses were whack and that they didn’t like each other that way. So what was Henry doing liking her that way? Each time he interacted with Charlotte, his heart rate increased and his palms started sweating. Whenever she touched him, goosebumps erupted on his arms and his mouth went dry. Henry couldn’t control his body’s reaction to her presence and it was starting to get on his nerves. However, Henry was getting better at ACTING as if everything was normal.

One day at lunch it was just Henry and Charlotte at their table. Jasper had started a club for him and his fellow “Bucketeers” that met during lunch on Fridays which today was. They had already eaten and discarded their trash a few minutes prior.

Charlotte was telling Henry about the upcoming dance and what kind of dress she was thinking about designing for the occasion. Henry started to zone out when she went off on a tangent about patterns and fabrics. He was staring intensely at her moving lips when he noticed an approaching figure behind her.

A guy that Henry hadn’t seen before walked up to Charlotte quietly and placed both his hands over her eyes. She jumped in surprise at the sudden contact, then the stranger leaned down and whispered into her right ear.

“Guess who?” He questioned in a deep timbre.

“Clark Kent?” Charlotte responded with a giggle, obviously recognizing their voice.

“You wish sweetheart” the guy said and sat next to Charlotte. The dude was tall, but not taller than him Henry noted. He had black hair and brown eyes. He looked similar to Taylor Lautner from Twilight. He proceeded to wrap his arm around Charlotte’s waist causally. Watching this whole interaction with wide eyes, raised brows and a pit forming in his stomach, Henry struggled to reign in his jealousy. Who is this guy? And why is he touching my Charlotte?

“Who are you?” Henry asks the mystery man with a little more malice in his tone than necessary.

“Oh! Henry, this is my friend Jacob. Jacob, Henry.” Charlotte said easily.

“Sup man.” Jacob addresses Henry with a head nod and barely a glance in his direction before looking back down at Charlotte.

“So are you still coming over tonight?” Jacob inquires.

“Yeah I’ll be over right after sch-“

“So how did you two meet?” Henry interrupts her statement loudly.

“We have chemistry together” Char explained.

“That we do” Jacob said with a smirk.

Charlotte giggles again and slaps his arm. “You’re so dumb” she tells him.

“Only for you” he replies in a soft tone of voice while staring her in the eyes.

What is happening?! Henry questions himself. He did not like whatever this display was AT ALL. And what was with all the giggling? Charlotte does NOT giggle.

She clears her throat and finally breaks their eye contact. “Like I was trying to say earlier, I’ll come over again before work today.”

Again? How many times had she been over?

“Cool, can’t wait. Text me” Jacob responds while standing up from the lunch table. He smirked at Henry before sauntering away.

Henry glares at Jacob’s retreating back before turning back to his friend.

Charlotte sighs and bites her lip to hold back a smile.

“What was that?” Henry asks impatiently.

“Hm? What was what?”

“The whole exchange. The giggling, the touching, the eye contact? Do you like this guy?”

“I’m not sure yet. He’s attractive and smart but right now it’s just harmless flirting. Why?”

“Uh...no reason. I hadn’t heard anything about him then suddenly he’s all in your face.”

“I thought I did tell you about him? Oh you know what? I told Jasper. Yeah, when we were walking to work the other day. Guess I just forgot to mention it to you.”

“Huh. So why do you need to go to this guy’s house? Multiple times?” Henry asked.

“We had an experiment in class and we’ve been working on the lab report together.”

“Interesting. When do you think that’ll be done?”

“Probably tonight? Why does it matter?”

“Just curious.”

“Oooookkkk” Charlotte says while giving her friend a puzzled look.

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and both teens stood up.

“I have Chemistry now so I’ll catch up with you later” Charlotte said, turning in the direction of her next class.

Henry grabbed her hand before she could walk away. Tingles radiated through his palm from the simple touch. He pulled her gently to him before hugging her tightly. It took Charlotte a second but then she returned the affection. A feeling of contentment washed over Henry as he held her in his arms for a few seconds longer than normal. “See you at work Char” Henry whispered to her, lips brushing the shell of ear with every word.

A small shiver ran through Charlotte at the contact. Since they were still hugging, Henry felt this and pulled back to look at her. His hands were now wrapped around her hips instead of her waist. Henry’s thumbs involuntarily started rubbing small circles on the exposed sliver of skin where her shirt had ridden up. This caused Charlotte to shiver lightly again.

“Are you cold?” Henry questioned.

Stepping out of his arms Charlotte shook her head “No I’m fine, don’t worry about it”.

But her tall friend was already shrugging out of his jacket and placing it on her shoulders. He adjusted the front and smiled satisfied. “There. Now you’ll be covered if you get cold later. I better get going, my English course is on the other side of campus.”

“Alright, see ya.” Charlotte responded.

“You look good in my clothes Page” Henry stated while scanning her body up and down slowly. Before she could respond, he threw up a quick wave and walked away.

As he was making his way to class Henry wondered how that Jacob dude was going to respond to Char wearing his jacket. He’ll definitely recognize that it’s mine since he just saw me wearing it. That’ll show him not to mess with my girl. Henry realized that if he didn’t make a move soon, he could loose Charlotte to that Teen Wolf reject. It was time to accept that he liked her as way more than a friend.

Game on.

#henry danger #chenry #charlotte page #henry hart #charlotte bolton #kid danger #ray manchester #jasper dunlop #riele downs #jace norman

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britesparc · 4 years

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Weekend Top Ten #413

Top Ten Episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation

So, the Star Trek: Picard of it all. At the time of writing I’ve only seen the first episode, and although it was a touch exposition-heavy, and bounced to a slightly distracting degree from one location and event to another (France! San Francisco! Japan!), it was really very impressive. It felt utterly like a sequel to the Next Generation era, whilst also feeling like something new (my wife compared it to Blade Runner). A more contemplative sci-fi experience, which suits the legacy of the series.

I’ve talked a little about Star Trek before. The Original Series is one of those things that’s baked into popular culture at this point, like Superman and Star Wars. I’ve no idea when I first heard of it, but I don’t remember not knowing who Kirk and Spock were. But I never watched it, even in repeats (not the way I watched, say, Batman ’66). I came to Trek through the films, chiefly The One with the Whales and, later on, Wrath of Khan and Undiscovered Country. The first thing I remember about The Next Generation was my cousins telling me that this week the captain is taken over by the Borg; I have a funny feeling that the first episode I saw was “The Best of Both Worlds, Part II”, with the whole “Resistance is futile” bit coming in the “Previously on…” section. And, to be honest, I wasn’t hooked. I didn’t really get into it until my teens, through repeats. But I saw enough for it to become my favourite of all Treks, and – like the original cast – I saw the movies and fell in love even more (Star Trek: Insurrection was one of the first films my now-wife and I saw together as a couple).

The 2009 reboot movie, and subsequent Kelvin Timeline universe, have been interesting and often entertaining, but they’ve not felt like “proper” Star Trek to me. A bit too flashy and gung-ho, more like space adventure movies; I feel like Trek should be more like Close Encounters and less like Star Wars. That’s not to say they weren’t enjoyable, just not Trek-y enough (and the less said about the second half of Into Darkness the better). I loved the original universe, with its sense of history and its forward momentum; my favourite stuff from the Kelvin ‘verse was the knowledge about life after Star Trek: Nemesis, with the destruction of Romulus and all of that. I wondered what Picard thought of it, how it played out politically, how the Federation had responded. Really, I just wanted to know what my favourite characters were up to. Was Riker still captain of the Titan? Did Crusher go back to Starfleet Medical? Was Geordi still being creepy on the holodeck? And did Data stay dead? With Discovery being another prequel series, I thought it might be a long time before we got any answers.

And so to Picard, a series I kinda thought I’d never see. Something I was very keen on was to go back and re-watch all of The Next Generation in preparation. I say “re-watch” but it turns out I’d seen a whole lot less of it than I thought, or at least had forgotten most of it. So it’s been a wonderful and rewarding experience for me, Code of Honor notwithstanding. I feel I’ve got a much better and more rounded view of the characters and the series than I ever had, which is nice. And it was fun in the first episode of Picard to spot some of the deep-cut references, from Bruce Maddox to Captain Picard Day.

Anyway, this is a really, really long preamble for me to say that this week’s Top Ten is my favourite episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

The Best of Both Worlds, Parts I & II (Season 3, Episode 26/Season 4, Episode 1): yes, both parts; it’s inseparable to me. Massive and dramatic but loads of great character stuff: Riker becoming captain, Picard as a Borg, Guinan… Star Trek’s Lord of the Rings.

The Drumhead (4-21): a brilliant examination of institutionalised prejudice, honour, justice… but really what sticks in the mind is arguably Picard’s best speech, when he explains the concept of a “drumhead trial”. Outstanding stuff from Patrick Stewart.

The Measure of a Man (2-9): another fantastic courtroom drama episode, another brilliant Stewart monologue. This also has the benefit of being an existential look at what constitutes life, and potentially seeds plot points in Star Trek: Picard.

All Good Things… (7-25): one of the greatest finales of all time, it has everything: Stewart on top form, trippy timey-wimey shenanigans, the Enterprise blowing up, Q… and an incredibly touching final scene. The sky’s the limit indeed.

Family (4-2): after the epic bombast of both Worlds, we come back down to Earth, literally, as a broken Picard recuperates at his family chateau and mends fences with his disapproving brother. An unusual but simply beautiful episode of TNG.

The Inner Light (5-25): boy, these are all Patrick Stewart showpieces aren’t they? Here Picard lives a full life in forty minutes as an alien probe shows him the death of a civilisation. Incredibly bittersweet and an episode that left subtle character ripples.

Sarek (3-23): bringing back an iconic Trek character is one thing, but giving him a tragic mental illness, one that feels very true but also suitably sci-fi, is a masterstroke. Brilliant performances from Mark Lenard and, yes, Patrick Stewart.

Chain of Command, Part II (6-11): Part I has some cool sneaky stuff and tense character work on the Enterprise, but Part II is where the meat’s at: a phenomenal Stewart cruelly tortured by a terrifying David Warner. Star Trek does 1984, superbly.

Remember Me (4-5): woah, a non-Picard-centric episode! Gates McFadden on fine form as Crusher questions her sanity on a ship with disappearing crew, the Twilight Zone premise artfully realised in a gripping bottle episode.

Q Who (2-16): arguably, this is where TNG really begins. The always delightful Q brings our heroes face to face with the franchise’s Big Bad, the Borg. Here they are unknown, terrifying, unlike anything we’ve seen before; the seeds of so many stories are sown.

This was quite a tricky list to formulate, to be honest. The top half was fairly set, but there could have been any of a dozen episodes bringing up the rear. Another bottle ep that I adore is “Disaster”, which manages to be goofy, great fun, tense, and have some superb character work. Similarly I’m surprised I didn’t find room for “Yesterday’s Enterprise”, another iconic episode and another of the timey-wimey ones I love so much. And Q only appears twice, both times in episodes that don’t really centre on his brand of off-beat humour. It’s also interesting that so many of my favourites centre around Picard, and so many of them seem to – at this stage – feature plot elements that are going to be referenced in the new series (Bruce Maddox, artificial life, Romulans, the Borg… I hope Q gets a look-in too!). Anyway, TNG is great, I’m loving Picard, and what more is there to say?

#top ten #star trek #picard #the next generation #tng #patrick stewart #tv #movies

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

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The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards - The Best of 2018

Hello and welcome, dear reader, to the greatest, most important awards ceremony in the history of entertainment. The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. The award of recognition that everyone on Earth covets even though they don’t know it. For the Quill Seal Of Approval is a most esteemed prize for hard work and artistry. Better than the Golden Globes, more prestigious than the BAFTAs and guaranteed to be more diverse than the Academy Awards. You know your film, novel, TV show or video game has achieved legendary status when some random nobody on the internet says it’s the best in some obscure top 10 list that’s read by only a couple of people. That’s the true sign of success.

First, a few parish notices. Obviously this is my subjective opinion, so if you disagree with my choices, that’s fine. Go make your own list. (also remember that my opinion is 100% objective, scientific, factual and literal truth and anyone who disagrees is clearly a philistine and a dummy and a poopy-head whose mum smells of elderberries). Also please bear in mind that I haven’t been able to experience everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, please don’t be upset that A Star Is Born isn’t on this list. I’m sure it’s as amazing as everyone says it is. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay. Let us begin.

Inside No. 9 - Series 4

BBC2′s Inside No. 9, written by the League of Gentlemen’s Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, is an anthology series that’s often sadly overlooked, but it’s really worth a watch if you’re into shows like Black Mirror and The Twilight Zone, and this series in particular has been fantastic. We’ve had an episode written entirely in iambic pentameter, an episode whose chronology runs backwards, a live episode that really plays around with the format, episodes containing tragic and biting satire, and one especially twisted episode that brings out a side of Steve Pemberton we’ve never seen before. Series 4 has been a real treat from start to finish, with each episode beautifully written and expertly performed. Inside No. 9 deserves to share the same pedestal as Black Mirror, no question.

Black Panther

I’m sure everyone knows about my less than flattering views on the Marvel Cinematic Universe by now, which is what made Black Panther such a breath of fresh air for me. Stripping away all the convoluted crap, Black Panther has often been compared to The Dark Knight, and for good reason. Like The Dark Knight, this movie uses the superhero genre to tackle real social and political issues. In Black Panther’s case, exploring just what it means to be black in the modern world. Boasting an impressive cast of black actors, strong female characters, an engaging and complex antagonist, fantastic special effects and truly excellent direction from Ryan Coogler, Black Panther represents a new benchmark for Marvel, the superhero genre and the film industry in general. It proves how important and how lucrative diversity and representation in media can be, and it unintentionally shows how flawed the Marvel business model has become. The reason behind Black Panther’s success is simple. It’s because it’s bloody brilliant. And the reason it’s bloody brilliant is because Coogler was allowed to realise his own creative vision without Kevin Feige and Mickey Mouse breathing down his neck. Perhaps they should take note of that in future.

Deadpool 2

Of course Deadpool 2 is going to be on this list. Are you really surprised?

The Merc with the Mouth goes from strength to strength in the rare instance where the sequel is actually as good as, if not better than, the original. The first Deadpool was a great origin story for the character, but Deadpool 2 felt like an adventure ripped straight from the comics themselves. Crass, ultra violent and hysterically funny, Deadpool 2 is the crowning jewel of the X-Men franchise. Fan favourites such as Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus return as well as new characters such as Domino, played by the exceptional Zazie Beetz, Cable, played by the astounding Josh Brolin, and Firefist, played by Julian Dennison who deserves all the success in the world because good God this kid can act!

But of course the star of the film is Deadpool himself with Ryan Reynolds once again proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he understands this character back to front. Not only is he hysterically funny, capturing the character’s irreverent tone perfectly, he also absolutely nails the tragic underpinnings of Deadpool that make him such a wonderful character. In between the f-bombs and gore are moments of real drama and emotional pathos as the film tackles themes such as loss, discrimination, abuse and suicidal depression. All this whilst taking the piss out of 2017′s Logan.

Oh yeah, and it also features the first openly LGBT superheroes in cinematic history. Fuck you Disney! NegaYukio and Poololosus for the win! LOL! No, but seriously, now that you have the rights to X-Men back, if you try and censor Deadpool in any way, shape or form, I will kick your arse.

God Of War (2018)

“BOY!”

Yes Kratos is back, having successfully destroyed the world of Greek mythology and now has his eyes on the Norse Gods. And he has a son now. What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously though, this new God Of War is simply exquisite. While I have long admired the God Of War franchise for its interpretation and adaptation of Greek mythology, the previous games in the series have never exactly been the most sophisticated when it comes to storytelling (and the less said about the casual sexism, the better. Yes Sony, I promise I understand the thematic reasons behind playing a minigame that allows you to have sex with Aphrodite in God Of War 3, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s sexist as shit). God Of War 2018 changes all that with an intelligent and engaging story that allows us understand and connect with Kratos at a more personal level than we’ve ever done before. Taking place years after God Of War 3, Kratos is older, wiser and trying to raise his son Atreus in the hopes that he won’t make the same mistakes Kratos did in his past. Not only is the story amazing, continuing the franchise’s themes of vengeance and the strained relationships between parents and their children, the gameplay is also a ton of fun with many memorable moments and boss fights.

And as an added bonus, we get two strong female characters that aren’t treated like discardable sex objects. That was nice of them.

Incredibles 2

The long awaited sequel to The Incredibles finally arrived in 2018 and it did not disappoint. Incredibles 2 was everything I could have wanted and more. Continuing on from the events of the first movie, we see Elastigirl take the spotlight as she fights the Screenslaver whilst trying to persuade the worlds’ governments to lift the ban on superheroes. Meanwhile Mr. Incredible takes a back seat as he tries to reconnect with his kids Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack and prove he can be a good, supportive dad.

Continuing to draw inspiration from Fantastic Four, X-Men and Watchmen, Incredibles 2 is... well... incredible. Expanding the world he created, Brad Bird tells a smart, funny and compelling story that stands head and shoulders above the majority of superhero movie fodder we get nowadays. Elastigirl flourishes in the lead role this time around and the kids get a lot more development, the Screenslaver is a great villain that compliments the themes of the franchise wonderfully, and we get to see a whole bunch of new characters such as Voyd and the Deavor siblings as well as the return of old favourites like Frozone and Edna Mode.

Honestly, the baby alone is worth the price of admission. Hopefully we won’t have to wait another fourteen years for Incredibles 3.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Marvel’s Spider-Man is an amazing game. But of course you knew that already. It’s made by Insomniac Games, the same guys behind Ratchet & Clank. Of course it was going to be brilliant.

Simply put, this game does for Spider-Man what the Arkham games did for Batman. Not only is it a great game with brilliant combat and fun web swinging mechanics, it also has a great story worthy of the wall crawler. Unlike the movies, which seem to continuously yank Peter Parker back into high school with each new reboot as those the poor bastard were attached to the fucker on a bungee rope, this Spidey has been fighting crime for eight years. With great power comes many responsibilities as we see him struggle to juggle crime fighting, his new job as a scientist, his commitments to helping Aunt May at the F.E.A.S.T shelter and trying to win his ex Mary Jane Watson back after a six month split. It’s a brilliant story featuring many classic villains such as Shocker and Electro as well as lesser known villains like Screwball and the criminally underrated Mister Negative who finally gets to be the central antagonist in a Spider-Man adaptation. It’s fun to play, engaging, dramatic and really emotional at points. I cried real tears at the end. What a punch to the gut that was.

OOOOOH! And we might be getting to play as Miles Morales in the sequel! I sure hope so! :D

The Grinch

At this point I imagine many of you are scratching your heads.

“Really Quill? The Grinch? Illumination’s The Grinch? This deserves the Quill Seal Of Approval? Are you sure?” Yes dear reader, I’m absolutely sure. Just hear me out.

It’s true that the majority of Dr Seuss adaptations are shit. While the live action version of the Grinch starring Jim Carrey has a cult following and is fondly remembered by some, it’s still pretty crap, and even Illumination themselves screwed up royally with their adaptation of The Lorax. But this new Grinch is truly excellent. For starters, the animation is gorgeous. This is clearly the format that works best for Seuss movies. Benedict Cumberbatch does a really good job voicing the character, giving him depth and complexity beyond just being a big old meanie. The film also has something no other Seuss film has ever had before. Subtlety. Illumination have clearly learned their lesson after The Lorax. They’re no longer bashing you over the head with a moral message. They’re not trying to over-complicate a simple story by adding pointless sub-plot after pointless sub-plot. In fact the bits they do add actually feed into the main core of the narrative, as opposed to The Lorax, which just confused things. And while there are cute Minion-esque sidekicks like there are in a lot of Illumination films, The Grinch limits it to two (Max the dog and a reindeer named Fred), they’re both legitimately funny, serve an important narrative purpose and don’t distract from the more serious and emotional moments.

In all honesty, I was debating between giving the Quill Seal of Approval to The Grinch or to Bumblebee (the first legitimately good Transformers movie), but I decided to go with The Grinch because of how it handles the character and the story’s message. A lot of people scoffed at the idea of giving the Grinch a back story (and to the film’s credit they don’t force the issue or over-explain where the Grinch came from) but it’s honestly what makes this new adaptation of The Grinch so special to me. He’s gone from being a Scrooge-like monster to an anxiety filled misanthrope who associates Christmas with being alone. It may sound like a jarring change on paper, but in practice it honestly works so well and adds a whole new dimension to the Grinch. It’s treated with absolute care and sincerity and the film really earns its emotional moments, particularly at the end when we see the Grinch sit down to have Christmas dinner with the Whos.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you give this new Grinch a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised :)

Doctor Who - Series 11

A woman?! In the TARDIS?! How absurd!

Jodie Whittaker made history as the first woman to play the Doctor and the new series doesn’t disappoint. Whittaker is predictably brilliant in the role, giving the character compassion, charm and wit. We also get a new bunch of companions (including the always brilliant Bradley Walsh as Graham) who all have some great moments in Series 11 and the relationships they form with each other is incredibly touching and fun to watch. But the writing, my God, the writing. Admittedly not every episode has been perfect, but it’s leagues above anything Moffat has given us during his disastrous reign. The majority of Series 11 has been well written and intelligent, tackling important and relevant social issues (something Doctor Who has always been doing and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot) and focusing on likeable and relatable characters rather than convoluted series arcs. We got to meet Rosa Parks, witness the partition of India, and ponder on the dangers of automation whilst the Doctor tries to save the world from bubble wrap. Oh, and the Daleks are scary again! I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

What makes this all the more remarkable is who the showrunner is. Chris Chibnall. A writer I’ve often criticised in the past for being derivative and shit, and yet somehow he’s managed to create some of the best Doctor Who I’ve seen in a long time. Not only has his writing improved dramatically since his Torchwood days, he’s also demonstrated a commitment to having diverse representation both in front of and behind the camera as well as in the scripts themselves. For the first time in what feels like an age, Doctor Who feels like Doctor Who again, and I’m ecstatically happy.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

How come we don’t see many animated superhero movies in the cinema? Considering the medium from which superheroes came from, you’d think it would be a no-brainer. Presumably it’s because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the animation market, but that’s hopefully going to change thanks to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (or, Sony’s Repentance for The Emoji Movie).

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. The animation is gorgeous. It’s pretty much an animated comic book and it stands out as one of the most unique looking animated films in recent memory. Spider-Verse is essentially a love letter to the legacy of Spider-Man as we see multiple different versions of Spidey, including Spider-Gwen, Spider-Ham and Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider cosplaying as Spider-Man Noir, demonstrating not only the sheer variety of Spider-Men we’ve had over the years, but also exploring what connects them together. With all these different interpretations across many different universes, the idea of Spider-Man comes to the same thing. An ordinary person who experiences tragedy and becomes something greater. It’s hopeful and inspirational in a way Spider-Man films hasn’t been for a while now (Spider-Man: Homecoming sucked donkey balls. Period).

But let’s not forget that while the film explores the Spider-Verse, the main focus is Miles Morales who finally makes his cinematic debut. Not only is it a very faithful adaptation of Ultimate Spider-Man’s origin story, Miles himself is such a great central character for the modern age and arguably has more relevance to today than Peter Parker does. The characters are funny and relatable and the story is expertly crafted and impactful. But then what do you expect from the writers and directors of The Lego Movie? (if only Disney hadn’t interfered with Solo: A Star Wars Story. We could have had it all).

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle

This one kind of snuck up on me toward the end of December, but I knew the moment I saw it I had to include it on this list.

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle is an adaptation of The Jungle Book with Andy Serkis making his directorial debut. Yes the same guy who did the motion capture for Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and Caesar in the rebooted Planet Of The Apes movies and who totes deserves an Oscar for Best Actor (fuck you Academy Awards!), and he brings this same motion capture technology to this film. Unlike Disney’s Jungle Book, which merely rehashes the original animated film whilst somehow stripping all the charm from it, Mowgli sticks closer to the original Rudyard Kipling book. This isn’t a cheery musical. This film is often dark and intense as we see Mowgli (played wonderfully by Rohan Chand) struggle to find his place in the world. He knows he doesn’t belong with the animals in the jungle, but he doesn’t really fit in with the world of man neither. It’s an emotional and dramatic character piece brought to life by great writing, great acting and stunning special effects.

Andy Serkis has expressed a desire to do an adaptation of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, and after watching this movie, I would love to see that. If you haven’t already, go watch Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle. It’s available to stream on Netflix and it’s truly amazing.

And that’s it for 2018. Congratulations to the winners of this year’s Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. Unfortunately we’re on a limited budget here on The Desolated Quill, so I can’t offer any sort of trophy or medal or anything. What I can do though is write the words ‘I’m an awesome cookie’ on a post-it note and stick it on your forehead. Will that do?

#quill seal of approval awards 2018 #quill seal of approval awards #best of the year #review #opinion

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avehi-the-adamant · 5 years

Text

In the Ashes of Teldrassil

(( Co-written with my RP partner, @kidcatgemini. Mierne belongs to her.))

The pitch-black moon hung ominously in the sky. A side effect of the ritual the Kaldorei High Priestess performed some week or so ago. It made it harder to see through the already-dense trees and ominous shroud of ashes that remained in Darkshore… but Avehi managed. She’d had no issues so far finding the Horde forces here. Most of the time, they conveniently came to her! One by one, Horde soldiers crumbled beneath Rokaa - her rune-inscribed crystalline hammer. It was a dark reflection of the weapon she’d wielded in life, during her service as a Light-blessed Vindicator. She forged this new hammer using her practiced crystal forging techniques, as well as the runeforging she’d learned from the Ebon Blade. Fitting the newfound resolved she had found to continue her service to her people, she named the weapon ‘Undying Oath’. The hammer had spelled doom for countless enemies of the Draenei. From Twilight’s Hammer cultists, to Mantid of Pandaria, to even demons of the Burning Legion on Argus. Now, she used it to crush the Horde forces in Kalimdor - literally, in most cases.

She lifted her weapon up after the last of the Forsaken had fallen, with a displeased snarl. She derived no pleasure from killing Forsaken. Orcs, trolls, tauren… she could draw their life energy through combat, sating her Hunger for a time. But the Forsaken had no life energy to draw from, which only agitated Avehi more and more as the fighting went on. Still, she was quite proficient in slaying undead monsters like them. The war against the Scourge gave her plenty of invested experience in taking them down for good.

The Vindicator looked around, cautiously. The woods were eerily still along the coastline. She suspected the group she’d taken down wasn’t the last. Her plated hand gripped her hammer tightly, as she assumed a battle stance. Something was coming… she could smell the blighted Forsaken blood on the wind. She was ready.

What came leaping out of the woods was not a Forsaken, but a ghostly wolf… though it held the disembodied arm of a Forsaken in its mouth. It didn’t even seem to notice Avehi as it turned and perked up its ears, as if listening for something. The sound of a body falling, a flame trap going off, followed by horrible screaming that eventually died out seemed to satisfy the creature. It dropped the arm and turned to leave…

And jumped back with a yelp of surprise as it finally saw the death knight. Immediately, it shifted to a familiar Draenei form, a hand placed over her chest in shock.

“By the Earth Mother, you gave me a fright!” Mierne exclaimed.

Avehi couldn’t help but chuckle at Mierne’s reaction - she’d never gotten the jump on her before! She chuckled lightly, covering her mouth with her hand, before shaking her head.

“Apologies, Mierne. I suppose I’m more subtle than I used to be.”

She looked around once more, tail swaying smoothly behind her. Her agitation seemed to settle in the presence of her long-time friend, but that didn’t mean she’d lowered her guard at all. From what she could tell, they’d cleared out most of the nearby enemies between the two of them. Avehi looked to Mierne once again, and nodded.

“It is good to see you. Even out here.” she dipped her head. “Though, I’m somewhat surprised to see you outside of Bloodmyst.”

“I felt I had to do something after the burning of Teldrassil,” Mierne answered as she looked off towards where the large tree once was, “When word came that Tyrande was pushing back, it felt like the right time to join the battle in my own way.”

She turned her attention back to her friend, giving her a sheepish smile. It was obvious she was a bit out of place in a war zone. She’d already let her guard down.

“Not on the front lines, of course. But leading the Horde through traps and gathering provisions,” she continued, “Kharanos is here as well. I was going to meet him soon at the Alliance stronghold. Did you wish to join me?”

“--Vindicator Khanaros? He’s here?”

Her own reaction surprised Avehi. But she couldn’t help but feel a rushing return of long-buried feelings surface abruptly. She wasn’t prepared for it, frankly. Some years ago, during her Vindicator training, she developed something of a crush for Vindicator Khanaros. He wasn’t like others she typically got involved with - he was mature, stoic… steely. She recalled fantasizing about him rather often back in those days; such fantasies keeping her breathless and warm on countless nights. But it was nothing more than that. Merely a childish crush on an older Draenei male. They’d met, of course. And spoke briefly on an occasion or two. But so fleeting were their interactions… She hoped he would still remember her.

Even as she was now...

“As you say, Mierne.” she nodded once, letting the sudden resurgence of her adolescent feelings settle once again. “Let’s not keep your fiance waiting, yes? Lead the way.”

She hefted her hammer up over her shoulder, and followed Mierne to the Alliance holding in Bashal’aran.

Mierne couldn’t help but blush slightly as she followed Avehi. She still wasn’t used Khanaros being referred as such. It was hard to tell if she ever would. She still had time to think on it still, especially now that they’d agreed to slow things down a bit. Nothing had changed other than how people referred to the as.

~*~

Vindicator Khanaros shifted his weight from one hoof to the other, as he watched the treeline through narrowed eyes. Returning to a battlefield environment had been easy enough - some things you never unlearn. His crystalline hammer felt heavy, yet natural in his hands. His plated armor fit just as it always had, like a second skin. He watched, stoically, along the treeline due north. A simple glance in passing at the war table in the Sentinel’s Command Tent was enough to tell him everything he needed to know about Darkshore. The Horde had holdings both north and south of them. Much closer north, however. Were he a gambling man, he’d bet the next attack would come from there - and he was more than ready for it. The last good fight he’d had was some time ago, on Argus. And he was itching for another. Again - some things you never unlearn.

His tail flickered, however, as he turned to face the southern ramp up into the Bashal’aran compound. An aura of undeath wafted from that direction. Were the Forsaken coming up? A scout, perhaps? He snarled, and began hoofing that direction - hammer already aglow with vindictive Light.

Mierne and Avehi breached the tree line on the south side of the camp just as Khanaros began making his way over. They’d traveled mostly in silence, not wanting to alert any possible hord scouts of their presence. Noticing his serious expression and the way he was stomping over, Mierne couldn’t help but look over her shoulder to see if they had perhaps been followed.

She saw nothing. Her tail twitched nervously as she listened for any tell tale sounds from the forest, but the only sound that she could pick up were that of the heavily armoured Vindicator. She turned her attention back to him.

“Khan,” she greeted him warmly, though with a hint of worry in her voice, “Is something wrong?”

Avehi exhibited no such nervousness. At least, not from behind her. She had grown adept at finding other undead, including Forsaken. If they were followed, she’d know it. No, instead her nervousness stemmed from meeting her old mentor for the first time in years. Decades! As she crested the hill alongside Mierne, he came into view - he looked as distinguished and inspiring as ever. He wore his age well, signs of it showing in his face. But they somehow made him look stronger, rather than feeble. Experienced, not expiring. She almost staggered back, gasping lightly, as a rush of memories of him came flooding back into her mind. And emotions along with them.

Khanaros relaxed, visibly, as Mierne approached. He smiled to her… then looked suspiciously at Avehi. He could feel it immediately as she drew closer - that aura of undeath she carried. It caught him off guard, especially here. The stench of undeath was pallettable in these woods. He never expected it would emanate from an ally. Another Draenei, especially. He knew some of his kin were Scourged. He’d even met one or two, in passing. Khanaros knew that couldn’t be easy. Like the Krokul, losing the connection to the Light surely hit a Draenei hard. His suspicious look turned to a sympathetic look, as he eyed Avehi over a second time.

“No, no… all is well.” he then nodded to Mierne, as his holy energies faded from his hands and hammer. “Who is your friend?”

That question hurt quite a bit, for Avehi; while they weren’t ever close, she and Khanaros had met a couple times. She had hoped she stuck out at least a little from other trainees under his command back in the day. But he looked at her as if he never met her in his life! Had it been so long? Was she so forgettable? Or had undeath changed her that much? No possible answer took the sting out of his innocent query. She slumped, tail drooping down behind her as she looked away.

Mierne relaxed completely and smiled at Khanaros. At his presence alone, her tail began to sway happily behind her. There was something about seeing him all dressed up in his armor and seeing his powerful displays of the Light! She strolled up to him, but refrained from any public displays of affection while he was on duty… unless he initiated of course… Not that it was needed. The spark between them was obvious. Uncertain as she was about the engagement, there was no debate on how much she enjoyed her old friend’s presence.

“Ah! This is my dear friend Avehi! I have told you about her, I’m certain! She and I grew close in the marshes after the fall of Shattrath.”

She turned her head to smile at Avehi, blinking as she noticed the sudden change in her friend’s demeanour. The slumped shoulders… the dropping tail… Had Khanaros’ use of the Light upset her. She knew the undead tended to be sensitive to it...

“—Ah, are you alright, Avehi?” She asked, concern in her voice, “Are you… are you that sensitive to the Light’s presence?”

“--Aah, no. No, I’m alright.” Avehi snapped to, nodding to Mierne.

She gave a meek smile, before looking back at Khanaros. The Vindicators exchanged a moment of looks, before Khanaros broke the silence between them. He sheathed his hammer, and offered Avehi a crisp salute.

“Oh, of course! It is well, yes!” he bowed his head politely. “Mierne has mentioned you on several occasions. Always in a positive light, of course. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

He was proud of himself, suppressing his reflex to use his typical greeting. He had worked with Death Knights before, in Northrend and in several campaigns since. The Light didn’t always agree with them - and wishing Light’s blessings on them had often earned him scowls and scolding retorts. He imagined, to them, such was a curse. A slap in the face. He’d caught himself from uttering such a phrase now, even though Avehi was a fellow Draenei.

Avehi did frown, however, the meek smile vanishing quickly again as Khanaros addressed her. Despite, she returned the salute with one of her own. Theirs was always a professional relationship, in the past. She could certainly be professional now.

“We’ve met several times, Vindicator.” she put plainly, tone even… if not a little monotone. “I was actually trained as a Vindicator under your command, on Draenor. But… do not fret. That was some time ago, certainly. And I was much more lively back then, I imagine.”

It was Khanaros’ turn to slump slightly at the revelation. He let out a silent ‘oh’, as he looked Avehi over once more - closer this time. He had met so many Draenei in his life, trained hundreds - if not thousands - of recruits. It was ridiculous to think he would remember them all! But that made it no less awkward, in the moment. He cleared his throat.

“I… see. Apologies, I…”

Words failed him. But they didn’t fail Avehi.

“Pay it no mind, Vindicator Khanaros.” she shook her head, and offered him a weak smile. “It is an honor to be re-introduced to you, nonetheless.”

Her tail twitched behind her, erratically. But otherwise, she was extremely calm and collected. Shoulders back again, standing proudly following her salute. Making a fuss or a scene would do no one any good. Especially Mierne; Avehi didn’t want to shame or embarrass his dear friend’s fiance, after all. But despite her professional demeanor… the awkward tension was thick as could be!

Mierne has absolutely no idea where the sudden tension had come from, but she could feel it nonetheless. She glanced from Avehi to Khanaros and back. Avehi’s friendly demeanour had completely vanished, and she couldn’t help but wonder why. With how uncomfortable Khanaros was getting, she was starting to wonder if perhaps something had happened between them years ago. If so, Avehi would have said something beforehand, right?

She tried to think of something to ease the tension, but nothing came to mind. Sighing, she walked over to take Khanaros’ hand in hers, giving it an encouraging squeeze.

“All is well, yes? What better way to get reacquainted than killing Horde soldiers together!”

She cringed internally. Solving people problems wasn’t what she was good at. Awkward conversations like this were why she lived -away- from people.

“How about we sit and catch up? I’ve planted a number of traps in the area. They will alert us if enemy forces draw near.”

Her tail flicked awkwardly. Why did things feel weird?

The squeeze of his hand shook Khanaros loose of his awkward stall. He looked to Mierne, and smiled.

“A fine idea. Come, I have a tent, we can seek shelter within from the dreariness.” he offered.

‘Most of it…’ he thought to himself, as he looked Avehi over once more.

He could tell he offended her, not recalling her from before. It couldn't be helped, but clearly it struck a nerve. As he led the two of them to the tent, he rattled his brain trying to recall something - anything - about Vindicator Avehi...

The Death Knight followed behind Mierne and her fiance, quiet and sullen. She was trying not to let this sudden rush of emotions spoil the meeting. It was a struggle, though - she didn't realize how much that silly crush meant to her, or how unresolved those feelings were left. Seeing him again brought them all back… seeing him holding hands with Mierne as they walked along ahead of her made it worse. She expected someone would earn his affections, certainly. But to have it he someone so close to her… it made it feel that much more personal - irrational as she knew that was. How long had her best friend been living out one of her oldest fantasies? Embracing that strong, stern, but noble Vindicator? Indulging in his body…?

--No, no… she shook the thought from her mind as best she could. Jealousy would poison her friendship. She wouldn't let that happen! She couldn't! Lightly, Avehi cleared her throat, as Khanaros led them both into the tent.

“I had heard you retired, Vindicator. Some time ago.” she offered, tone varying and friendly, as it was before. “Rumors, I presume?”

Khanaros parted the tent flaps, allowing Mierne and Avehi both in ahead of him. It was nothing fancy; a table, some benches, crates of supplies and a weapon rack. Still, it was nice than just standing outside!

“I had very much intended to, after Argus.” he replied. “But a war this close to home demanded my attention. I could never ignore the needs of our people.”

He smiled to Avehi, politely, seeming to relax some. At least they were talking!

Mierne set her hammer down next to the weapon rack as they entered the tent. She was surprised at all the room inside, used to her little hovels back on the isles.

She was also used to wearing a lot less than she was. Due to the area being a battlefield, she was wearing mail armor that was much more appropriate, covering her body entirely. She removed her gloves and set her helm aside, brushing a hand through her hair. Despite the mess her helm had made of it, it still looked much better than when she lived alone in the wild. She took a bit more care of her appearance around Khanaros, especially when being seen in public with him. While she didn’t care about how people viewed her, she knew Khanaros had a reputation to uphold.

“This war has indeed come too close for comfort”, she agreed, “We are fortunate the Horde cannot keep a foothold here, otherwise nothing would stop them from attacking the Exodar.”

She took a seat on one of the benches, turning her attention to Avehi, “How are things in Kul Tiras?”

“When I was there, they were… stable.” Avehi replied, taking her place in the darkest corner of the tent - her lichfire eyes glowing brighter in contrast. “The Horde has a secure holding in the north of the island, but the bulk of their forces seem to be in Zandalar.”

Khanaros set his hammer neatly on the rack beside Mierne’s, before turning to the table. He poured a cup of water from a pitcher, and offered it to Mierne. He then did the same for Avehi… but Avehi shook her head in declination. The elder Vindicator simply then took the cup for himself.

“What matters to me, now, is Darkshore.” he said, plainly. “Kul Tiras is a nation that has long left the Alliance to fend for itself. I would not see it fall, if it can be helped, but perhaps coming under Horde fire will help them see the need to unite with the Alliance in this campaign. But as I said, Darkshore is--”

“You’re of a mind to just let the Horde tear into Kul Tiras? An allied human kingdom?” Avehi interjected, eyes narrowed slightly at Khanaros. “Our presence there, defending them, is as vital as it is here reclaiming Darkshore for the Kaldorei.”

The tension returned - Khanaros felt it as he looked Avehi over. This time, it wasn’t so much awkward as it was… hostile. He calmly shook his head, as he set the cup down.

“I did not mean to imply such. Of course, if we can help the Kul Tirans, that is best.” he elaborated. “But for the safety of the Exodar, and the protection of our people, defending Darkshore is paramount. That is all I meant, Vindicator Avehi.”

“No one argues that. We’re all here, aren’t we?” Avehi retorted - the air in the tent growing a bit colder. “But if we only fight battles to defend our people, while other people suffer the Horde’s brutality elsewhere, how are we better allies to the Alliance than the Kul Tirans? No front in this war is more or less important than another.”

In unintended unison, both Khanaros and Avehi looked to Mierne, as if awaiting her to weigh in on the issue…

Mierne frowned heavily at the two as they fought. She had thought the two would get along well, given that they’d met previously, but Avehi was in an abnormally abrasive mood it seemed.

‘What’s gotten into her?’ the shaman wondered, brow twitching.

“I think this type of conversation is exactly why I tend to stay on my island!” She growled, crossing her arms over her chest, “For goodness sake, I thought we came in here to speak of more pleasant things.”

Her tail flicked sporadically next to her as she took a sip from the water Khanaros had given her. She used the pause to attempt to calm herself.

“As for my opinion on political matters I know nothing about. I stand firm in my belief that our people come first. Certainly above short lived beings like the humans. When we were in need, the Kal’dorei helped us. Now, we repay that favour. My motivations are as simple as that.”

She shrugged, not certain what else they wanted from her.

“--Of course, yes.” Khanaros cleared his throat. “Apologies. The war in general is a controversial subject. It runs emotions high, and sparks arguments by its very nature.”

He dipped his head apologetically towards Mierne, then to Avehi. He had his opinions of the war, and it was clear she did as well. Mierne was right, though - a more pleasant topic was surely in order for this crowd!

As if she weren’t already stoic enough, Avehi kept still and silent, eyeing the two of them from her dark corner of the tent. The air between them still felt a little chilly, both literally and figuratively, but much less so than at the building of the spontaneous argument. Her expression was dull, unreadable, as if carved from stone. But her continued irritation was conveyed well enough as her tail swayed, fast but even, behind her. Her hands hung at her sides, balled into plates fists.

“... Mm.” she nodded once, after a long and silent pause. “I'm sorry, I must still be worked up from fighting. Please, excuse me a moment.”

With even, intent strides, Avehi exited the tent without another word. Khanaros opened his mouth to try to say something to stop her, but instead looked to Mierne to do so instead. It didn't seem to matter, though - she left before either had much of a chance to protest it. Khanaros sighed, before swallowing down the rest of his water.

“... I am sorry, Mierne.” he exhaled, defeatedly. “I must have offended your friend deeply when I did not recognize her. Did she tell you we had met previously?”

Mierne was silent as she watched Avehi leave the tent. She did nothing to stop her. The Death Knight was clearly frustrated about something, and she suspected it had to do with something bigger than a past teacher not remembering her. She shook her head at Khanaros’ question.

“She did not. I was aware that she knew who you are, but that is the extent of it. I have not spoken to her in some time, though. I suspect it is something else that bothers her, and it is marking her bristle at smaller things.” She sighed, patting the empty place on the bench for Khanaros to come sit next to her.

“Avehi is still quite young, and I cannot imagine the trauma undeath would brings.”

Khanaros nodded thoughtfully as he took a seat beside Mierne. He exhaled a heavy sigh. It troubled him that not only had he seemed to upset a fellow Vindicator - fallen or not - but he'd also upset Mierne's friend. A part of him worried that failing to meet Avehi's approval could affect his plans to marry Mierne. He wasn't sure they were that close, but he knew Mierne well. Well enough to know that she didn't keep many close friends. That Avehi was one at all spoke to how much she must've meant to Mierne.

“Perhaps… it is my aura?” he theorized. “The Light can adversely affect one of her condition. Perhaps I am agitating her in that unintentional way.”

He slipped his arm around Mierne, casually, holding her as they sat. His tail swayed calmly, but his eyes continually glanced towards the tent opening, as if awaiting Avehi's return.

“I could… try to diminish it, I suppose…”

“Hmm… perhaps. She was acting as normal until we arrived. The Light might bother her more than she’s willing to let on.”

Mierne gave another shrug as she leaned in comfortably against Khanaros. Her tail reached over and intertwined with his in a comforting manner. She could tell he was distraught over the matter. It seemed Avehi’s opinion of him was an important matter to him. She couldn’t help but wonder why. Certainly, he must have encountered more than a single person that disliked him at some point in his long life. Avehi couldn’t be the first.

“Do not dwell on it,” she reassured him, placing a quick kiss on his cheek, “You did nothing wrong.”

Khanaros leaned into the kiss, unable to help but smile at Mierne's affections. His tail coiled about hers.

“... I know this is rather opposite of trying to diminish that aura, but…” he shrugged, giving Mierne a sheepish look. “...I was going to ask what you thought of the idea of me attempting the Lightforge Trials.”

~*~

Avehi paced outside around the camp. This was going poorly, she knew. She worried about what Mierne must've thought of all this. Her tail swayed in agitation, concerns that she'd surely upset her oldest and dearest friend! Her lichfire eyes flared with frustration, as she stood out over a small outcropping, and gazed thoughtfully at the darkened moon. She had to get this under control - this wasn't like her at all! Oh, how she wanted to walk back in that tent, and punch Khanaros in the face! And yet she could just as easily go inside and kiss him passionately. He'd be certain to remember her then, either way!

She exhaled slowly - not by any necessity, of course. Undeath did away with her need to breathe. Instead, it had become a practiced, reflexive motion to help her calm herself. She shook her head, putting aside her thoughts and feelings for Khanaros. For now. She had to salvage this, and set things right. For Mierne. She could do that.

But how? What explanation was suitable for this behavior? She could blame the Hunger… no, she prided herself in keeping that well under control. To lean on it as an excuse would undermine that. War stress? They all had that… she watched the moon, shoulders slumping as the realization washed over her - the best course of action was to come clean. To tell the truth, and reveal her crush on Khanaros. Her tail flickered, and began swaying in another way. A different pace and variance, not thoughtful anymore. Now... mustering confidence. She had made up her mind. She just needed the courage to carry out her will.

~*~

“What do you think?” Khanaros asked, turning to Mierne.

She looked genuinely surprised by his interest in becoming Lightforged. The more she thought of it, however, the more it made sense for it to be a path Khanaros would want to take. He’d been a Vindicator for longer than they’d known each other. The Light always an important facet in his life. Lightforging was naturally the next step for him in that regard. He was strong, old and wise. Surely he would have no problems passing his trials.

Perhaps it appeared as a surprise as he had so recently retired after Argus. This next step was quite the opposite of the quiet retirement he’d planned before the war broke out. But, if anything, this war proved that the fighting would not end. Not anytime soon.

Her head tilted as she thought it through. She was worried at what such an overabundance of exposure could bring. But again, she trusted Khanaros of all people would handle it appropriately.

“I think...” She said after a moment’s thought, “I think it would suit you well. If this is the path that feels natural to you, then who am I to stop you?”

Mierne smiled. Surely he wasn’t asking for her permission. Simply looking for counsel from his oldest friend… fiancé… She still wasn’t used to the thought.

“If this is what you wish to do, then you have my full support, of course.”

“Mm. I believe it is.” Khanaros smiled, tensing his arm to affectionately squeeze Mierne beside him. “It did not interest me before, when I thought I would be hanging up my hammer for good. But seeing as this war is far from over, I think it wise to give myself further to the Light, to better exact its divine judgement.”

He nodded once, firmly. Determined, now. From what he had heard, the trial was rigorous, testing body, mind, and soul, all. But now, with Mierne’s support in such a decision, he was confident all would be well.

“--It would change my appearance, I believe.” he added, as an afterthought. “Paler skin and hair, from what I have seen. Would you love me still, if I came out looking different?”

He smirked, half-teasingly. He knew the answer, of course. Their connection wasn’t purely based on appearances. But he also knew physical attraction was important in its own way. With any luck, he’d come out looking better from the Lightforging… not worse.

Before Mierne could reply, the tent flaps opened, as Avehi stepped inside once more. She looked solemnly to the pair as they sat on the bench, before exhaling a thoughtful sigh. Her tail swayed behind her, restlessly, as she stepped further inside and stood before her dearest friend, and former mentor.

“I… owe you both an explanation.” she said, meekly, shoulders slumping slightly. “I know I’ve been… stand-off-ish, yes? Moreso than is normal, even for me.”

“--It is alright, Vindicator Avehi.” Khanaros piped up, interrupting. “We… discussed it a bit, and pieced together why you are so uncomfortable around me.”

Avehi’s lichfire eyes widened! She gasped lightly, eyeing Khanaros, then Mierne.

“You… you do?” she asked, anxiously.

“It was obvious, yes, after we ruminated on it. As I said, it is alright. You need not be embarrassed or ashamed by it. I only regret I did not notice it sooner, or we could have addressed it immediately.”

The Death Knight blinked slowly. She didn’t expect such an amicable reaction! In a way, it only made her more attracted to Khanaros, with how mildly and level-headedly he addressed the awkward feelings she had for him. So mature! Perhaps he was right, and she should have come clean about this before the meeting! But… he didn’t want Mierne to think Avehi would try to act on such feelings. She glanced again to her dear friend, as if to gauge her reaction to the revelation.

“I… promise, I never intended to take any manner of action about this. It’s just somewhat… frustrating, yes? Given how things are now.” she sighed, apologetically.

“It… it is fine,” Mierne waved a hand dismissively, “No need to dwell on such things. It is a natural thing, after all.”

Mierne was fairly certain Avehi and Khanaros were not speaking of the same issues. She knew Avehi got along fine with Vindicators in the past. One she even considered a very close friend, so it made no sense for her behaviour to dramatically change this much upon Khanaros’ aura. The worry had crossed her mind earlier, but in hindsight it didn’t add up. Avehi had even told her such was not the case. Now, it seemed like she was just hiding behind that excuse...

She chose not to address it, however. For the moment, everyone was getting along well, and that was fine with her. She could discover what was really bothering her dear friend at a later time. There was no need to drag everything out in front of Khanaros.

She got up and made her way over to the knight, pulling her into a tight hug. Whatever the issue was, she wanted Avehi to know that she was always there for her.

Avehi couldn't help but smile as Mierne embraced her. She knew her dear friend would understand, passing no judgement for such things. She returned the embrace, being gently mindful of her armor as she affectionately squeezed Mierne.

“I… am glad. I worried such would make things difficult between us, seeing as you two are to be wed.” she sighed, relieved. “I'm sure it'll be easier to bear, as time goes on. I can't avoid you both forever, just because of a silly feeling.”

“Wise beyond your years, Vindicator Avehi.” Khanaros piped up as he stood.

Avehi broke the hug and looked to Khanaros, offering him a respectful bow. She found herself smiling lightly at hin, as well.

“Thank you, Vindicator Khanaros. And thank you for being so understanding about this. I know it is… awkward.” she shrugged, cheeks darkening. “At least, it's awkward for me. I imagine you must get this a lot.”

“Hmm, I suppose so. Death Knights do tend to shy from me. I cannot imagine you are alone in feeling the effects of the aura of the Light's blessing I exude.” he nodded once. “But rest assured, i take no offense. And i commend you for wishing to expose yourself to it, despite your condition. I pray you do manage to build up a tolerance to such discomforts, if only to be closer to the Light. A Draenei's connection to the Light is a sacred thing, enabling our kin to…”

Avehi kept up her facade, while her tail swaying bore the brunt of her indications of disappointment and irritation. As Khanaros went on with his impromptu sermon on the Light, Avehi nodded along. But she realized it now; he had no idea she had a crush on him. He'd misread the situation, almost as badly as she misread his misreading. Silently, she cursed to herself, eyes flickering over to Mierne. She must've misunderstood, too. Perhaps she would tell her in time. But for now, it was probably for the best she went along with Khanaros’ false assumption. It cleared her of the awkwardness, at least.

“...so that we may bask in its eternal warmth. May it be so.” Khanaros nodded firmly at the conclusion of his speech.

“Yes… may it be so.” Avehi repeated, before bowing her head politely to the two elder Draenei. “I will… see about building my tolerance in tine. But for now, your aura is rather… radiant. I think I shall go and fight on my own, for now.”

“As you wish, Vindicator Avehi. Light guide your path, and shield you from harm.” the Vindicator nodded, imparting his verbal blessing. “Until we meet again.”

Avehi looked to Mierne, smiling, before turning to depart once more. The miscommunication concealed her lust for her dear friend's fiance… for the moment. But she still felt she should tell her.

Just… not now.

~*~

#Avehi the Adamant #Mierne the Persevering #Khanaros the Inexorable #Darkshore #Teldrassil #Warfront #Awkward #Character Story

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thisnerdsadventures · 3 years

Text

a 2021 update

Ah, so I have forgotten to update in a million years, per usual

~ Random thought section ~

I woke up this morning and read this tweet thread about Alice Wu's director's note for her movie The Half of It. It's streaming on Netflix, and I highly encourage to go watch it, it's probably one of my favorite movies from the past few years. Anyways, she talks about how she produced the film while digesting the heartbreak of a friendship breakup - the whole thread hit me on a different level, but here's a quote that really hit home for me, especially a month from graduation: "The end of the film is each of their beginnings. And for my characters, I can think of no happier ending." We spend a lot of time worrying about the end of things and the uncertainty of things to come. Yet, there was a time where we worried about the exact same things for the very chapter we are now so nervous about leaving.

1. I'm nervous about leaving school and starting the..... rest of my life???

2. I'm nervous that my friends will slowly fade away. I'm nervous that they'll get on with their lives and I'll be slowly still trying to get my bearings, stuck in limbo.

3. I'm nervous that starting adulthood will be difficult because there are no more college orientations, no more awkward freshman dinners, perfect opportunities to meet new friends who are just as nervous as you are.

In writing this out, I felt a sense of deja-vu, like I had written these words before. So I just looked back at some of my posts right before entering college, and lo and behold:

08-18-2016: Today I said goodbye to one of my closer friends, and i realized that without even knowing it, Sunday’s party was the last time I would see some of my closest friends. It’s awful that way, that you don’t even know it’s the last time until it’s passed, and you’re left to pick up the the end of a chapter of a relationship from the scraps of an unexpected and improper farewell.

I feel like I’m in a weird twilight zone between college and high school where my present friends are all beginning to fade away to move on in their lives, and I’m yet to really meet anyone in my class yet, so at the moment,,,,,,there really isn’t anyone.

I wrote this less than a week from moving to Boston, and it's so shocking to me that I also experienced the "unexpected and improper farewell" part in senior year. It's almost the exact same thing that happened in COVID and is continuing to happen. You never know when the last time you might see someone might be, except instead of consolidated over the course of one pre-college summer, it's over the course of more than a year, the time that this pandemic has been going for.

And I hate that I said the "fade away and move on" thing verbatim, literally nearly five years ago. To be honest though, it's true, a lot of them did fade away and move on. But so did I, I wasn't left behind. To some extent, I was the one who did a lot of the moving away. And like many things in life, a couple of us continue to hang around, and maybe our friendships cycled in and out over college, but have come around again after a few years. I guess those are the ones that you know will stick around. The limbo period between chapters is a hard one, and it's nice to know that present-day me isn't the only one who has felt this. It's nice to know that past me met so many incredible people so fast, that I forgot this limbo period happened.

I know this part is getting a little long, but there's just a couple more snippets I want to share:

08-13-2016: I recently read Marina Keegan’s essay The Opposite of Loneliness, and one line resonated with me a lot: We’re so young. It seems silly and almost pretentious for me to think that this party would be so final, and yet it does, even though we have decades upon decades to build and connect or reconnect.

We’re so young, but that doesn’t stop the understanding that we are going to a new chapter in our lives and that it’s going to redefine our relationships. I hope it doesn’t change them too much.

I suppose much of the anxiety of going to college results from having to build my own community from the ground up again.... I tell myself the pieces will fall together and everything will be ok, but it doesn’t stop the increasing anxiety from, well, increasing.

I loved this collection of essays, if you haven't read it, I recommend you do. In moving around for so many years, I haven't been able to keep a lot of books in my possession, but I kept this one because that essay really hit home for me, and continues to, no matter what part of life I'm currently experiencing.

I think moving to college did change my relationships. But change is not a bad thing - your childhood friendships, the few of them that survive, end up strengthening and growing into adult friendships. And in the end, isn't that better than not changing at all? I'm hoping that a few of my college friendships will do that too - we'll go from college friends to family friends, and my kids will call them "Aunt" and "Uncle" and they'll grow up watching their parents talk for hours in the front yard before finally getting in the car and leaving for home.

08-13-2016: But hey, this is part of what I signed up for, I knew I wasn’t going to have much of an initial safety net, but I’m sure I’ll survive. We, as humans, always find a way to adapt right?

I think I survived and adapted. Not in the way I saw things going, but we can never really fully predict things, can we? One day, I'll learn to give myself a safety net for the next chapter, I'm sure. Today's not that day though.

Going back to her director's note, there was one more thing that just struck an emotional chord for me:

Fun fact, Alice Wu actually went to MIT for a bit before transferring to Stanford, and then she became a software engineer at Microsoft! I relate a little too much to her. Maybe one day I too will dump coding for my art form. But for now, in this above example, I relate far too much. I worked on my album, Imperfect, a little too obsessively this past winter while trying to digest the throes of heartbreak from one of my own friendships that ended. I still don't know if there was an ending for that friendship. I think I've spent a lot of time trying to put off the end, like a TV series that just keeps adding more and more seasons. Regardless of whether it needs to end or not (which I have not decided and will continue not to do so), I spent a lot of time thinking about who I was before and after that friendship, and I've concluded that a lot of who I am now, what my life looks like now is a result of that friendship. I'll give you a hint: I really like who I am now, compared to who I was before, and it showed me a lot of parts of life and friendship that I never expected would happen. That friendship was (is?) one of the most beautiful things that has happened to me in my life.

Let's finish off this reflective post with a quote from Khalil Gibran, that's kinda related to that point about how transformative the past can be, and how we're far better off in future chapters of our lives because of it.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

Again, if you haven't read his collection of poems, you should absolutely 100% drop whatever you're doing right now and do so! Wow, I really just assigned an entire reading list in this post.

I hope in making this movie, Alice found peace. I would hesitate to say that I found peace when making my album. I wrote a lot of songs about the heartbreak I felt from that whole experience. But the last song I wrote, "Best Friends," ends the whole thing on a positive note, that at the end of the day, I remember how my friends (past and present) literally saved my life and how things are looking a little better, and whatever happens, I hope my best friends will be there waiting for me, whoever they end up being.

- OK I PROMISE I DIDN'T SET OUT TO BE 100% SO EMO -

But yeah, I haven't really been doing much otherwise? I guess just tryna stay alive, I've been cooking a lot and cooking a lot of good good food, I did apply to an MBA program, I got my COVID vaccine (second shot this week!), I am excited to announce I am publishing a paper in my MEng lab, which is a really big accomplishment imo, I am thriving in my (1) econ class that I kept, even though I didn't realize we had readings assigned like for the past month, I went to try pastries from this Turkish bakery, I biked, probably, 15 miles over the past month, I've read at least 4 or 5 books this year so far, and am hoping to knock another one out today. Currently dying because trying to finish my thesis in like . a week, which is looking a little challenging, but I'm sure it'll happen!!!??

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