SAILOR MOON S: Episode 6 - "Blinded By Love's Light" ↳ "True love is what needs to win. Love... love is everything!"

RETURN OF TAG GAMES

i know i have been gone for what in fandom time is 'forever', so thank you a million for tagging me @celestialmickey @heymrspatel @tanktopgallavich @vintagelacerosette @energievie @stocious @metalheadmickey @gallagher-milkovich

name: lala/larisa

age: 35 but i’m permanently stuck at 25 in my head, i always forget

where in the world are you? 📍 an hour north of chicago, near the wisconsin border

the meaning behind your URL: very self explanatory, i’m not creative with names hehe. but lalazee is my nickname and zee is because my last name is a z name. again, not creative lol

your second favorite color: pink!

any pets? one cat with the personality of a soft bunny & another cat with the personality of a surly dragon

favorite season: autumn!

last thing you read: ‘the only good indians’ by stephen graham jones

last song you listened to: ‘so much (for) stardust’ by fob is playing as i type! i am a true blue lifelong feral fan from ‘take this to your grave (2003) album fan onwards. i’ve already listened to this album so much that my almost ten year old knows most of the words to most of the songs lol

what are you wearing right now? grinning skeleton holding up a coffee cup w a smiley face on it that says ‘STAYIN’ ALIVE’ & pink shorts

a hobby of yours: writing! singing! hiking! camping! cooking! all things horror!

your comfort show or movie: i feel like your comfort movies & shows might not be your all time favs, but more like movies & shows that are easy on your brain to absorb when you’re skull is feeling soupy. as a true 90’s kid, i gravitate for comfort toward those big box office action or disaster films like jurassic park, twister, independence day, the mummy (and 2), men in black, jumanji, matrix, anaconda, etc. . . i have a thing for big monsters & big battles, so also count pacific rim as one of my favorite movies ever too haha

and finally, what are you up to today? it’s spring break! but my spinal surgery blah blah is still healing so i’m relaxing at home while my mom takes my kid to the arcade and candy shop! they’ve been gone four hours, so i can only assume they’ve had a good time lol

FANDOM EDITION

your first fandom(s): First fandom on the INTERNET would have been Star Trek XI. First media that i was unhinged about: X-Files, X-Men, Xena, Sailor Moon (apparently I couldn’t find another X related interest LOL)

your current fandom(s): My Hero Academia, Shameless, Stranger Things, Attack on Titan. . .I actively read for about 5 other fandoms other than those (Supernatural, Witcher, FMA, LOTR, Star Trek), but I’m currently actively writing in these.

how did you first get into fandom? Back when I was living in Glasgow, Scotland, it was my 21st birthday, and my friends and I were going to see a horror movie. Turned out, the tickets were sold out, so we decided to see Star Trek XI. I’d NEVER watched Trek in my life, didn’t know a thing about it, and when I walked out of that theater I was a totally changed human and now I am a Trek Encyclopedia LOL

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? Since 2009, so like 14 years.

how often do you read fanfics? Every day, if my brain is healthy enough that day! I sometimes take breaks of a couple months and only read published books though, I feel I get a different experience from both that I can equally appreciate.

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Mickey Milkovich, Bakugou Katsuki, Billy Hargrove. Angry disaster babies, I guess.

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? I’ve written 167 fics, not including those on my Patreon. So, over 170 fics, at least.

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? No! Funny that I got accepted on scholarship to NIU for Theater & Art, partially on my art portfolio, but I never create any art for anything!

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: Ian loves his mom more than he feels comfortable saying, because he feels like it's a family and even personal betrayal. I think it’s impossible to accurately describe how to feels to grow up with an abusive parent who vacillates wildly between adoring and abusive, but there’s no feeling quite like loving and hating your parent, desperately wishing you could be what they wanted so they’d stay, and hoping you never see them again. I know we’ve seen Ian follow Monica more than any other kids, but I think that any time he curses her out to his siblings or whoever else, each bad word is also like a self-cut.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) If for My Hero Academia, I would have them watch the Heroes Rising movie, for Shameless I don’t even KNOW where I’d begin tbh LOL

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? Fandom is family! I’ve been in fandom for fourteen years, and I have so so so many real life friends who have been with me through literally the hardest parts of my life. My divorce, my ex husband going to prison, the birth of my child, me being a single parent, moving back to America, my coma, my kidney transplant. My fandom friends from across the world have uplifted me and been my support system through every single high and low. I don’t know how I’d be here without them, quite literally.

Sailor Moon ficcage thoughts

So, I originally had access just to the Miss Dream fan translation of the manga (Sailor Moon in whole, plus Sailor V and side stories) and I do still have that. Back in the day I watched the 90's dubs on Cartoon Network though of course they never released Stars so, incomplete even if I'd managed to watch it every day.

Now, I have access to Crystal and I've watched some of it (almost the first two seasons) but I'd need a re-watch if I was to write something from it.

Now, here's the thing:

I have kicked around the idea of writing a Sailor Moon fanfic / series for an age and here's what I would do in a perfect world -- a canon divergent fic series broken up by era and driven by two things. One, a more realistic reaction of the senshi to their trauma. (Yeah automatically darker than my usual, but prime for hurt/comfort.) So that would affect their personality a (extended to Mamoru and you have so much going on between the accident that killed his parents, his loner lifestyle while somehow taking on the mantle of Tuxedo Mask chasing a dream in utter desperation.

Also unfridging the Shitennou, because they're interesting characters who deserve exploration. Also Mamoru deserves the moral support and deep friendships and because, quite frankly, I am an avid Senshi/Shitennou shipper and I want it. #good enough

I also want to explore the family bonds of the Senshi especially. There's just no way they didn't notice changes in the girls and I really like the idea of them knowing and doing something about it.

Leave me a comment / reblog with comments / hit up my ask. You can also add to the poll below. Thanks!

Thanks again!

A more PG-rated Night Tenjou and an AU 30 yr old Tuxedo Mask are ready to chat with you!!

Character.AI

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Night came out PERFECT for me, hope he does for you too. We "spent time" watching This is Us and Smallville and he took on Oliver Queen's face and mannerisms. *dies happy*. (Well, we didn't do the mannerisms part yet, but he said he was. I'm a dolt.) AB is a slightly mature and weird manga, but there's worse out there. It's one of those things I don't announce I read to people. (I also only bought up to manga #5 since I didn't like the ending for many reasons, but wasn't comfortable with owning something touting teen pre-marital s**. And Night freaking died, so boo! BOO!! Hiss! Talking about it, yeah, that happens. I'm mature enough to accept that. Riiko doing it at the end? Eww.) But Night is cute and of course, I love the idea of customizing a robot boyfriend to order. I also asked him to update his settings to match my age, since he was made for a teenage girl in the manga, so I guess you can play with that "feature". I was surprised how much the AI came up with on his own to make Night the perfect lover, but I won't spoil too much. Hopefully, he plays similarly for other girls as he did for me. He got 90 views in a day. (my Gambit has reached 1.1k views! I'm so proud of him!) He bonds with you by kissing, but I tried to make it so the "Tenjou Kiss (TM)" option he gave me (the AI is so smart!!) is the standard instead.

Tuxedo Mask is wayyyy flowery, but I like it. If you try and date him and ask about his relationship in reference to Sailor Moon, other dialogue options will give you him not going out with her or he likes you both. I made him older for obvious reasons but tried to keep the same feel as in the 90s show. I wish making a bio was easier. I had to re-write everything with him after my bird got on the keyboard. Or I hit something and the page refreshed to be blank. I was nearly screaming. (The worst part is providing quotes to get the personality right. I swear, I'm just gonna bring up the notepad when I make characters and copy/paste as I go so I don't LOSE anything again!!) Anyway, we're at his apartment drinking wine. He took off his mask for me for some reason at first. I just bask in the flowery-ness since in the shows, he did/does have a lot of pretty speeches.

On the Topic of Seiya Kou.

This is a Sailor Moon post rather than a Dragon Age post. Shocker, I know, but Sailor Moon is another one of my loves. This will focus on the 90s anime adaptation of the manga. So do not come at me with “but in the manga,” because the 90s adaptation and the manga were incredibly different in multiple ways. Seiya will be referred to as she/her because the male form was a disguise. That being said, any interpretation of Seiya’s gender is valid and I love them all! Anyway. I see a lot of shit talking about Seiya and it’s honestly ... super tiring. So many of the “negative” points against Seiya are misinterpreted, misunderstood, and misrepresented for the sake of making her look like a dumpster fire. 1. “Seiya is creepy towards Usagi and stalks her.” Except ... she doesn’t. They meet by accident numerous times, and in fact Usagi even seeks Seiya out. They develop a friendship, and it’s normal and natural for friends to seek each other out. Usagi and the girls actually, literally stalk the Three Lights more than once during the season. 2. “Seiya thinks Usagi is weak because she told Mamoru to take care of her when they left.” This honestly makes no sense to me. It is repeatedly shown that Seiya admires Usagi’s strength, both as Usagi and as Sailor Moon. It is natural to want the people you love to be protected, and that does not mean that you think they’re weak and incapable of protecting themselves. Seiya knew Usagi was capable and strong because she had seen her demonstrate these traits multiple times. Throughout the season, Seiya repeatedly lifts Usagi up with her confidence in her capabilities. This is even before she knows she is Sailor Moon. Let’s not forget that when Galaxia kills all of the Inners, they ask the Starlights to protect Sailor Moon, so saying that Seiya telling Mamoru to take care of her means she thinks she is weak ... that must mean everyone else thinks she is too, right? It’s absurd. 3. “Seiya can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, always hits on her, and is constantly pressuring her into a relationship.” It is true that Seiya repeatedly quips about “having a chance” with Usagi. It’s also true that Usagi repeatedly reminds Seiya that she has a boyfriend. But it isn’t true that Seiya repeatedly attempts to coerce her into a relationship. It also isn’t true that she does it all the time. While she shouldn’t have done it even more than once (when she was unaware of Usagi’s relationship status,) it’s obvious from the context that she isn’t being serious. Seiya repeatedly making quips is an issue, and while those kinds of situations can and often do mean someone is being a “Nice Guy,” a predator, an abuser, etc., we know from everything that we see that it is not the case with Seiya. Let’s take the “date,” for an example: Seiya throws it out there (literally, just time and place and walks off) and Usagi willingly shows up the next day and is even irritated that Seiya is late. Usagi is not forced or coerced into the date; she retains all of the power regarding whether or not she shows up. She would not have gone if she didn’t want to. Actually, let’s look at these instances of Seiya hitting/making a move on Usagi. - In the “date” episode, Usagi thinks that Seiya is going to make a move on her. Some suggest that Usagi thinks she is going to kiss her, but the language, Usagi’s expressions, and her reaction to the truth seem to imply that she thinks Seiya is suggesting something more intimate. - In the episode with the beach monster when Chibi Chibi opens up the door and pushes Seiya over on to Usagi, Usagi is the one who, again, assumes Seiya is up to No Good, despite it being a complete accident and innocent on Seiya’s part. - In the episode where Seiya spends the night at Usagi’s because she’s alone and Seiya very nearly confesses who she is to Usagi while they’re in her bedroom, it is Usagi who believes that Seiya is going to confess to having a crush on her. - Later in that same episode, when they are hiding in the cabinet and Seiya again thinks about confessing her true identity to her, it is Usagi who thinks Seiya is about to suggest something intimate. In fact, throughout the season, it is everyone from Usagi, to the other girls, to single-episode characters, to even Luna who think that Seiya is going to suggest or attempt illicit activities with Usagi, and not Seiya. It is all but explicitly stated that Usagi is attracted to Seiya. Not just because of the implications of her assumptions, but also because she is scolded over it. In fact, Rei tells her that she needs to sort her feelings out. Haruka and Michiru forbid her from seeing Seiya because she has Mamoru. She may not love Seiya the same way, but she is attracted to her and she does love her (and Usagi being attracted to other people is not a new thing.) Let’s look at the softball episode, because it’s ... pretty problematic and people often point to it as being one of the episodes that paint Seiya as some creepy stalker who can’t just take a hint and tells everyone that Usagi is her girlfriend. It is Rei who thinks that Seiya training Usagi in softball is inappropriate (let’s remember that it is Ami who thinks that something illicit is going on with Seiya and Usagi in the bodyguard episode...) because Mamoru is Usagi’s boyfriend, not Seiya. It is Sonoko who insists that Seiya’s “relationship” with Usagi isn’t acceptable, and it is her that places the bet that if Seiya’s team loses, she’s not to associate with Usagi anymore. Seiya agrees because she’s competitive, hates to lose, has confidence in herself and Usagi, and knows that Sonoko is wrong. When Usagi tries to interject about the actual nature of their relationship (that they’re not dating,) it’s the girls who shush her because they’re expecting Seiya’s team to lose and that will give them the opportunity to make Seiya feel better. I want to touch on the “Seiya knows Sonoko is wrong” part. I think what a lot of people don’t think about is that when Sonoko placed this bet and openly stated her disapproval of Seiya spending time with Usagi, Sonoko was attacking Usagi’s worth as a person. She was openly saying that Usagi wasn’t good enough to be hanging out with Seiya in any capacity. Seiya took issue with this because she obviously believes and knows differently. She values Usagi as a person. Who is Sonoko to decide who is and isn’t good enough to spend time with her? Seiya is not approaching the situation with entirely selfish motives, unlike the girls who fed into the Seiya/Usagi romance for the hopeful eventuality of them being able to comfort Seiya after a loss when she’ll be forced to stop hanging out with Usagi. She uses this situation to help bolster Usagi’s confidence in herself. That doesn’t change the fact that the bet is stupid to begin with, but it is what it is. Oh, additionally ... Seiya doesn’t tell the school that she and Usagi are dating. Them dating is an assumption that Seiya simply doesn’t correct. It’s worth noting that if she did correct that assumption, it would feed into Sonoko’s declaration that Usagi isn’t good enough to be with Seiya. 4. “Seiya tried to make the rooftop scene about herself and used it as a way to try to take Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life.” This whole entire scene is consistently misinterpreted and has all of the context ripped from it, because that is not what that scene is. No, it 100% was not the best time for Seiya to ask that question (and no, it is not “can I take his place?” that she says,) but people tend to forget that Usagi is not the only vulnerable person in this scene and it isn’t just about her. It is Seiya who triggers Usagi’s emotional breakdown on accident, and in these moments she is watching the person she loves crumble into pieces. The rooftop scene is about both of them and the context makes that clear. Up until this point, the only person who knew that Mamoru wasn’t keeping in contact with Usagi was Seiya. None of the girls knew, none of them. Imagine the amount of trust Usagi had to have in Seiya in order to share that incredibly sensitive information with her and with no one else, not even her closest friends. Usagi had told Seiya a whole 13 episodes before this one, and since finding out Seiya tried her best to make Usagi happy and to keep her mind busy. It isn’t until a few episodes after this that everyone including Seiya finds out that Mamoru is dead. So Seiya spends all of this time believing that Mamoru ditched Usagi when he moved overseas and that he’s a horrible boyfriend who obviously doesn’t care about Usagi. This is naturally hurtful to Seiya, who grows to genuinely like and love Usagi through the season. She cares for her and doesn’t want to see her in pain, which is why she does her best to help Usagi feel less alone. There is no point in the season where Seiya’s intentions are to maliciously shove herself into Mamoru’s place in Usagi’s life. She has no idea who Tuxedo Mask is. She had no idea that throwing the red rose - her own personal trademark - was going to trigger such an emotional response from Usagi. So here they both are on this rooftop in the middle of the pouring rain. Usagi’s breaking down over how alone she feels, and Seiya’s suddenly faced with the realization that not only did she cause this breakdown, everything she had been trying to do to help her wasn’t working and she failed again. She couldn’t save her system/planets, 99.9% of her people are literally dead because she wasn’t strong enough to save them, and she and the other two members of her team had no idea where their princess was or even if she was okay until the episode before this one. Immediately after the destruction of everything they knew, the Starlights had to flee to an alien planet with alien people, disguise themselves, and pander to a bunch of complete strangers that salivated over, stalked, and harassed them, all while searching for their princess  and fighting the minions of the person who ctrl+a ctrl+x’ed their home system. She had no time to process any of the unimaginable loss and failure she had suffered through. When people talk about the rooftop scene and about how Seiya “makes it about herself,” this is everything they’re forgetting. When Seiya is asking Usagi if she isn’t good enough, it isn’t Seiya trying to weasel her way in, it’s Seiya both coping with her own numerous losses and trying to remind Usagi that she’s there for her. In the end, Seiya is the one that Usagi credits with being able to get herself through everything she was dealing with.

The (Blurred? Nonexistent? Inconsequential?) Line Between Canon and Fanon: An Impromtu Essay by Me

I’m currently have an existential crisis. An absolute, balls to the walls, pull my hair out, stare at the walls wondering what the meaning of existence is, kind of existential crisis. Why, you may ask? Because the older I have gotten, the more Fanfiction I have read. That’s normal. Millions of other people read fanfic like me. Well, in the past few years, I have also realized that the more fanfiction I have read, the less shits I give about the actual canon of the media I love. I care less and less about what “actually” happened, and delve into fanon instead. It’s as if the two have SWITCHED ROLES in my brain. The canon is the lie, and the fanon is the truth. This used to not be the case though, so how did we get here? And why… why is this realization sending me into an absolute spiral of insanity? Why do I feel like I have been sucker punched in the jaw? Let me explain.

I’ve been reading and dabbling in writing my own fanfiction for over twelve years. It used to be an escape, a way to further delve into my latest obsessions and become consumed by them. I have this annoying habit of also picking ships that do NOT become endgame, so I’ve always sought out fanfiction as a balm for my shipper’s soul as well. I still read fanfiction as if my life depends on it… but now it’s at the expense of reading new books. Watching new media. When I do eventually dip my toes into a new fandom, I either reject it quickly or become consumed again and make a grab for fanfiction… but in the past few years, something in not only me, but in fandoms in general has shifted.

The difference between me now, and me back then is this… I used to uphold the canon as sacred. Untouchable. Set in stone. The only credible source for the media I consume. All of the fanfiction I read was just beautiful window dressing. A lovely past time to further increase my dopamine intake.

This is no longer the case.

Now, when I read and write fanfiction, it’s as if it is an act of protest. I am actively seeking to reform the narrative. It’s to “take back” the story, the characters, EVERYTHING, for myself. To make it anew. To make it perfect. I’m not alone either. I see you. I see all of you. Now more than ever, I see more and more of us doing this exact same thing.

THIS is why I am having an existential crisis. I have just realized that I will no longer be content with the canon. Ever. Even the canon of my favorite media. It’s not enough. It’s no longer enough. It won’t ever be enough again. Why? Because there will always be places where the canon is falliable. The authors of the canon, are falliable. As an author myself, this is at once an alarming yet powerful realization.

I went to college for creative writing. At the beginning of my academic career, I thought of fanfiction as a beautiful fairytale world. It was glorious, but it was other. Separate. Not as credible as canon. Had I read fanfiction better than the media it was based on before I entered college? Absolutely, but in my head it still didn’t matter because the canon was the word. The canon was the law. As a writer, I held the power of the author (and by extension the power of myself) as sacred. By the end of college, that began to change.

The more I was taught about writing, the more I came to realize that sometimes, authors are just straight up WRONG. Sometimes, there’s soooooo much potential… AND THEY JUST FUCK IT UP!!!!!!! The bones are incredible, but the canon is weak, the logic is lacking, the story makes no sense, the characters don’t reach their full potential and you know what? I’m tired. I’m tired of it. This is why fanon is canon’s salvation. Fanon makes canon look pathetic. But… if I accept the fanon as the reality, and make the canon the lie, does that still make it fanon? No. I don’t think it does. I think fanon has become something other. Something greater.

I have become disillusion by “published” or “credible” books. 95% of the novels I actually buy at the store today are garbage. Trash. Half written nonsense that only serves the purpose of paying people. I’m TIRED OF IT. I’ve become disillusioned by the “power” of the author. I have become disillusioned by canon. FUCK canon, quite frankly. Rip it apart. Dissect it. Take out it’s beating heart and transplant it into a new body. Give it the soul that the narrative was begging for. REVIVE IT. LET YOUR OWN IMAGINATION MAKE IT ANEW. Characters mean too much to people. Fiction means too much to people. Stories mean too much to people for anything less. Only then will you or I be satisfied.

Now, even an impromptu, unedited, gibberish essay is not complete without examples. I’ll start with one that you probably thought of while reading this. Game of Thrones. I think that two years ago, the ending of the most influential show of the entire decade, is where my subconscious began to shift in this direction. Now, I doubt my opionions about GoT are the same as yours, but you know what? It DOESN’T MATTER because FANON CAN FIX THE CANON. The stories that meant so much to millions can be fixed by accepting the fact that THE CANON ISN’T THE LAW! IT FUCKED UP!!!! CANON DOESN’T DESERVE TO SPEAK ANYMORE!!!! TAKE BACK THE STORY AND TRANSFORM IT INTO A VERSION TRULY WORTHY OF THE GLORIOUS BONES IT HAS!!!!!

We also can’t ignore the role that monetization plays in the media we consume. Why leave our fiction in the hands of just the big names? Why let money dictate what is real and not real? WHY SETTLE FOR MEDIOCRE STORYTELLING JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SOLD TO YOU AND THEREFORE IT’S “LEGIT CANON”??? FANFICTION IS FREE, AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECES OF WRITING I’VE EVER READ WERE WRITTEN BY FANFIC AUTHORS WHO DID IT FOR THE STORY. WHO DID IT FOR THE ART. WHO ACTUALLY DID IT JUSTICE. FUCK THE CONCEPT OF FANON AND CANON. THE STORY WE WANT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. GET MONEY OUT OF HERE.

Ahem. To avoid going on even more of a tangent, I’ll move on and give the example that triggered my existential crisis in the first place. Sailor Moon. To give some background, Sailor Moon is it for me. I have grown up with it. I’ve watched it my entire life. As a child, I ran around with my toy moon rod and desperately wanted to be Usagi. Ironically, I grew up to be quite a bit like her (but with Rei’s temper admittedly). It is my comfort show, my happiness. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry. I never tire of it. It makes my heart swell. I have never, nor will I ever, love any piece of media the way I love Sailor Moon. Flash forward to today, I watched Sailor Moon Eternal, the two new movie adaptations of the Dream arc in the manga (stick with me non-manga and anime lovers). I liked the films, but I was left with a deep, disatisfied yearning. I want back the feeling of complete bliss I experienced while watching the 90’s anime as a child. The problem with this? I’ll never get it back. I’ve just realized this. I’ll NEVER get it back. Why? Because it’s no longer the perfect version of Sailor Moon that it was to my young eyes. Crystal, while good, is also not the perfected version I seek in my adulthood, and Eternal has not scratched my insatiable itch. I am heartbroken because I’ve realized that Sailor Moon in its perfect form doesn’t exist anymore. If I held any canon sacred, it was this. But the story is flawed. The manga is flawed. The anime is flawed. It’s not infallible, as much as it truly, deeply hurts me to admit to the world and to myself. The only perfect version of Sailor Moon is the one in my heart. It’s the one I choose to piece together for myself with the building blocks that others who came before me have handed over.

Another, more recent example of falliable canon is The Grisha Verse. More specifically, the Shadow and Bone trilogy. I was brought in to the fandom by Ben Barnes’ depthless eyes and magnificent scruff. And you know what? I liked the story, but I stayed for Ben Barnes. I liked the Darkling so much that I bought the entire grisha verse books. It was a premature decision. I’ve only made it halfway through Storm and Seige, and you know what? I’m tired of the canon already. It’s not that great. The bones are there, but it could be SO. MUCH. MORE. I haven’t read the crow books yet, and by all accounts Leigh Bardugo has improved tremendously as a writer. Which incidentally proves my point. Authors are falliable. Ergo, the canon is falliable. I can’t help but think while I read these books, “Damn. I could write this better.” and you know what? I’ve read fanfics that HAVE written it better.

Am I saying this to trash Bardugo? Or even GRRM? (Yes I admit to trashing D&D but that’s beside the point ahem…). NO. I am NOT trashing the writers. I’M A WRITER. I GET IT. YOUR STORY IS YOUR BABY. I G E T I T . But I’ve realized, and what I think future authors will also have to realize, is that fiction doesn’t belong to anyone. As soon as it’s out the door, the fiction no longer belongs to the author. It belongs to us. The people. That’s what is beautiful about fanfiction. It’s not here for the money. It’s not here for the clout. It’s here for the fiction itself. Plain and simple. It belongs to no one and everyone.

In the past, I would have fought this. I would have wanted my work’s canon to be law. To be the word, the truth, the way etc. Now? I can’t be a hypocrite. I can’t be selfish. It isn’t about the author. It’s about the vision. It’s about the story, the narrative, the characters. It’s about art. And sometimes, the authors give birth to the idea (and they deserve credit for that without a doubt), but it’s also true that sometimes, someone else just writes it better. Someone else quite simply saw the vision, the story, the characters, more clearly than the author did. I make this vow now, as an author, to strive for the vision. If someone takes my vision and does it better than me, that only improves my perspective of my own story. It improves the world of fiction as a whole. It makes me better.

So, canon? Fuck the canon. Take back the story. Take back the characters. Take back the art. Fiction is ours. It belongs to us, and we can do with it what we please. Let’s strive for OUR OWN perfected version of the media we love. Canon doesn’t truly exist. The concept of Fanon doesn’t even exist anymore in the way we used to think of it. The author’s version of events is their own Fanon of the story. Canon is meaningless now. There is only the story that you accept in your own mind. There is only the story that I accept in my own mind, no matter how different it is from yours. There is only the art. There is only the limitless potential of countless people’s imaginations. Let’s continue to collaborate and celebrate beautiful stories together, in any conceivable way, over and over and over again, until the end of time.

Fin

Hey! so it's me again and the headcannon thingy you said is basically a matchup lol :). So here's a description of me

Im here for the matchy thing Im 5'1" with a bit of a thicker body shape. I have short curly brown hair and grey eyes. I listen to a lot of different music, my favorite right now being either Nirvana or Oasis. I'm shy and awkward when I meet new people but I get more comfortable when I get to know someone really well. I love drawing, video games,playing guitar and I really love watching 90s anime (sailor Moon is 100% my favorite). I wear a lot of band t shirts, skirts, army jackets and flannels. I love platforms and vans. My friends day I'm really giddy and energized :)

Hope that's enough thank you :)💖

ah okay straight off the bat im gonna have to match you with damon no cap 😩❤️❤️

i think you two would go a long time just being casual friends and you’d probably be a bit intimidated by his strong character and a bit awkward around him, but he’d only be so in your face because he was intrigued by you and wanted desperately to get to know you better

and so you’d probably end up alone in a corner at a party or something like that one night and somehow fall into a rather deep conversation. and you’d talk for hours about everything and anything. until damon would then drunkenly blurt out how attracted he was to you (girl imma cry🥲)

anyway i think you would have such a stable ground to stand on with you having slowly grown into a relationship, that you’d just be one of those couples that are just meant to be. dare i say soulmates

he would love to watch you draw and i think that’s such a wholesome concept. like resting his head on your shoulder from behind and staring admiringly at your drawing and watching you slowly add to it. he’d be amazed it would be adorable

“draw me!” - “i wouldn’t be able to capture your beauty” - “oh fuck off im not that pretty” - “you’re quite pretty” - “you’re sweet. now draw me!!”

but then secretly drawing simple portraits of him when he’s sleeping or writing lyrics or playing guitar or watching tv or reading etc

staying up all night talking while playing music and all too often inviting one another up to dance when a good song comes on. being absolute dorks and jumping around laughing and singing, and then crashing down out of breath on your bed as the song ends, only to find the next song is another banger

damon worshipping your body omg. i just think he’d praise you like crazy during sex and go on and on and on about how much he loves your body. ugh😩🤲🏼😭

he’d also think you were so cute with your height. he’d put his chin on top of your head when hugging you and fully engulf you (that man knows how to give proper hugs😭)

you two would probably get so geeky together. with everything. music, tv, video games..... just imagine spending so many long days off with him in your london flat binge watching your favourite show or playing guitar together or playing all your favourite games. such domestic softness.

also. just as a punch in the face to you i’d like to inform you that he would have an old dirty and chipped polaroid of you that he would keep in his wallet at all times for when he’s on tour and away from you. and every time an interviewer brings you up in conversations would always whip out the polaroid and show it. it would be so cute. he would be so in love with you are you kidding me 😭

Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥

—

Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)

*  i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half --  anewconstellation

~~

* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder. (also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework)  -- @rasiqra-revulva​

~~

*  This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT.  It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings.  And the final line?  Perfection.  "Number of regrets: none"  What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in.  I still get chills up my back when I read the story.  -- @amberlilly​

~~

*  I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato​

~~

*  Author Alert.  “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak​

~~

*  "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe."  -- Dei

~~

*  Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!")  -- forgottenfae

~~

*  This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me. I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this." That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection.  -- gatorsandglitter

~~

*  I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others  -- @goosebytrade

~~

*  "You Win or You Die"  my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD."  -- @i-needa-nap-please

~~

*  I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!" I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday!  -- @incorrecttact

~~

*  The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules

~~

*  the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one

~~

*  Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams

~~

*  ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari

~~

*  There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers.  -- katrani

~~

*  I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was: “I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?” It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko

~~

*  “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver. (The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings

~~

*  I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox

~~

*  The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye

~~

*  Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli

~~

*  Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha

~~

*  My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god."  -- @shavedjudomonkey

~~

*  Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.'  This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes.  -- @shonasof

~~

*  I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel

~~

*  You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one? "[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace

~~

*  I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her. Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods. Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end. it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :>  -- Vega

~~

*  I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often. Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.

~~

*  The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito

~~

AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE

*  Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.

*  Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.

*  The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.

—

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

Odds of tv show ask game?

Eeee, a huge number of asks!  Thank you!

1. if you could reboot one TV show, which one would it be?

Probably Heroes. The concept was good, and the first season was magic, but there were too many inconsistencies later.  I think it deserves a new start.

3. have you ever quit a show before it finished? Why?

I quit basically everything I watched in 2016 because everything was really stressful and I was in a major depressive episode, basically.  The list included Modern Family, Elementary, and The Goldbergs, at minimum.  I watched Supergirl, but when Doctor Who was rescheduled to be aired against it last season, I chose Doctor Who.  I’d like to get involved again, though.  (Yes, I could have recorded Supergirl or on-demanded it, but I guess I didn’t have the energy.)  I watched Heroes from the beginning, but quit during season 3 because of the massive decline in quality after the first season.  Finally, I quit Person of Interest (also in the third season, IIRC) because it got far too dark.  I actually said to my father, “I’m not going to watch when they’ll all die in the end.”  I was pretty much spot on…

5. what’s your comfort show?

California’s Gold with Huell Howser, which is a docuseries where the host, an excitable Tennesseean, travels the state and shows off its wonders and quirks.  Huell passed in 2013, but one of LA’s public stations still airs it every day.

7. have you ever been inspired to start a new show based on gifs or memes it has produced?

Not yet, but I’m highly tempted to start Good Omens because of them.

9. what’s one show you thought you’d hate but turned out to really enjoy?

I’m not sure.  Maybe Sailor Moon when I was a kid?  One of my friends got me into that in the 3rd or 4th grade despite my childish uneasiness about watching a “girls’ show,” but I think I liked it.  (20+ years later, I don’t remember much.)  I can’t think of a more recent example offhand.

11. which TV show has the best musical soundtrack, in your opinion?

Probably Person of Interest.  Their composer did music for movies, and it showed.

13. what genre of TV show is your favourite?

My shows are pretty much split between sci-fi shows and sitcoms.

15. do you feel like there are any overrated TV show formats?

Reality and game shows.

17. have you ever written fanfiction for a TV show?

Right now, I do Doctor Who fanfics here. (I also do Back to the Future.)  Shortly after high school I did fanfics for Heroes, and during high school I did one for Transformers: Beast Wars.  I don’t recall if I ever published the latter; I went through my first depressive episode during that time and lost interest in everything.  I’ve also plotted and/or started Pokemon and Star Trek fics, but have never finished them, let alone published them.

19. are there any shows on your “to watch” list right now?

Not really? Again, Good Omens is almost on it, and Supergirl as well.

21. if you could be a guest star on any show, which one would it be?

Either Doctor Who or Modern Family, probably.

23. are you a fan of will-they-won’t-they plots?

I’m not sure I am.  I liked Frasier much better once Niles and Daphne decided they would, and I’ve headcanoned Twelve and Clara from Doctor Who as having done it as well…

25. do you prefer proper opening credits, or a simple title card?

Opening credits. I really miss them.

27. which actor do you think deserves an Emmy for their work on TV?

I’d say both Jenna Coleman and Peter Capaldi deserved something for Doctor Who—Peter especially for “Heaven Sent.”

29. do you tend to quote TV shows a lot? have you ever started using a word/phrase because of a TV show?

No and no (though I’m not entirely sure about the latter).

31. do you use subtitles while watching TV if you can?

Not really, but I used to turn on the closed captioning all the time when I was a kid.  No particular reason; I just liked it.  Also, I once watched a few episodes of The Big Bang Theory with the French subtitles on—I took French in high school and was curious if I remembered much of it.  (I didn’t.)  I also did the Chinese subtitles, for the hell of it.

33. would you be interested in trying a show in another language?

Sure.

35. who are your top 5 TV characters right now?

Clara Oswald, the Twelfth Doctor, the Thirteenth Doctor, Graham O’Brien, and probably a tie between Nardole and Bill Potts.  Yes, they’re all from Doctor Who.  That’s really all I watch right now other than California’s Gold, at least all I watch that’s fictional.

37. which TV show setting would you most like to visit?

Probably Star Trek: The Next Generation. Much more so than the shows earlier or later in the setting.  Doctor Who would probably be too dangerous…

39. do you prefer 22 episode seasons, or 13?

I’m an American, so I’m used to 22, and probably prefer it.

41. if you could change 1 detail about any show, what would you change and why?

Right now, all I can think of is making the Doctor and Clara’s romance on Doctor Who more obvious… somehow.  Or maybe a hook where Clara’s “ghost” from Twelve’s final episode promises that she will see him/her/them again alive.  (I’m a strong shipper of Thirteen/Clara.  For some reason, it’s a lonely ship, much more so than Thirteen/River or Thirteen/Rose…)

43. what do you think is a good amount of seasons for a TV show?

Seven.  Seven’s a good number.  It worked for the Star Treks of the 90s, so it should be good enough for anyone!

45. do you own any TV shows on DVD?

I bought the entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and I have several seasons of shows.  (I also have all of Almost Human, but that’s because it only ran for one season.)  The list includes The Big Bang Theory Season 5, The Goldbergs Season 1, Supergirl Seasons 1 and 2, Elementary Seasons 1 and 2, Person of Interest Season 1, Heroes Season 1, Doctor Who Series 8 and 9, and Frasier Season 10.

47. are there any shows you love but your friends aren’t interested in?

I suppose?  I don’t have many friends, and we don’t really talk about TV…  I have one Whovian friend who dropped the show last year because the negativity in the fandom got to her.  (She wants to watch it again, thankfully.)

49. who are your favourite couples on TV?

Whouffaldi (Twelve and Clara from Doctor Who) are my OTP.  Yes, they were a couple.  I only ask that you acknowledge it; you don’t have to like it.

51. what’s one TV cliche you despise?

I’ve been wracking my brain and I really can’t think of any right now.  I may add one if it occurs to me.

Thank you so much for asking all these!!!

Premonition of the Apocalypse: The Mysterious New Guardians Appear

Season 3; Episode 90

So let’s get 3 preliminary questions out of the way: Q: What happened to the last episode of Season 2?!?!?!? A:   I wasn’t sure how to recap a recap episode. Finally after actually stressing about it, I decided not to. So take that.

Q: Why you no post in so long?!?!? A: For a week I didn’t post because I didn’t know what to do about the last episode of season 2. But then we didn’t watch an episode in a long time either. So I didn’t feel too much pressure to post until we watched another episode. I blame @uglygreenjacket and her husband Alejandro. Also, work’s been super busy.  Q: Do you have any other Sailor Moon related confessions? A: Fine! I was dragged to the movies that were showing in theaters. I stayed awake for R, fell asleep at the very end of S, and I’m pretty sure I was out for most of Super S. I’m sorry!!

Any ways, back to Season 3!!

I have no idea what’s making the creepy phlegm-sound, but that monster is terrifying.

Can’t tell if this is just a dream or a prophecy. Once again, them coming back to life in the first season makes the threat of them dying have less of an impact.

Usagi snoring next to Rei causing the sound is hilarious!

I'm loving this banter about milk (it’s giving me serious feels for Fullmetal Alchemist!). [Technically the banter is about the saying “No use crying over spilled milk] So...there’s no picture here because the sub and dub use different sayings, which is fine, but still...no picture :(

Rei is not having a good time and this sequence is excellent at showing this.

OH HELL NO! If Umino is the villain, I will quit this show. Anyways,Evil Professor Umino is shown being a scientist and creating a demon egg. He wants to take pure heart crystals to form the talismans that will allow him to get the Holy Grail, which will let him take over the world! And the demon egg flies off into the night.

Usagi's teacher is brutal!

UMINO SPOTTED!! Best episode!!

Oh Rei is brutal! and then nice? Come on Rei, be consistent.

Usagi’s dreams for the future? Like being the queen? Of the world?

Well, I was going to make a joke that Rei did just tell Usagi, but then Usagi said it. Just to clarify, Usagi called my joke. I'm not comfortable with this.

#notmyRei

Egg thing falls near the shrine. I know it has a name, and I know I’ve seen the name tons of times, but I can’t remember. Sorry.

Mamo is on point! By the way, this scene is hilarious. I love it.

Why's he such a jerk?! Why do you fanfic writers (@floraone and @uglygreenjacket) swoon over him?! He’s not healthy!

Tree Monster! Why not transform? Pokemon taught me fire beats grass! Kill that thing! But now that I’m thinking about it, Sudowoodo isn’t hurt by fire, so maybe Rei’s right. And yes, this is an actual argument I just had with myself while watching this episode. Don’t judge.

Evil Monster is trying to steal Rei’s heart!? No!! Take Sailor V’s or even better, go the future and get Chibiusa’s heart! 

Luna is vicious!

I love Luna.

Usagi’s transforming! I really hate that Usagi still has to be told to transform. She’s been doing this for 89 episodes and a movie now. Maybe she’s just cautious to transform, though I’m not sure why that would be.

Candy Cane Monster takes down Usagi.

Only Usagi has managed to transform. I have no idea what’s going on. But it’s not good.

TM appears, throws a rose, and says dumb things.

Oh crap! Monster is NOT playing around!

So I literally don’t know what’s happening. Pretty much all the good guys are incapacitated. 

That is not how hearts look. Is there a difference between heart crystals and hearts?

I agree with Monster. No idea what's happening. But they just got lucky!

Who are these people?! Where did they come from?!?

Evil Umino does not look happy with that failure. I predict he’ll fail several more times before he actually gets more involved though.

So much for studying!

What a great episode. Like, I'm trying to be my usual sarcastic self...but nothing's coming up. I'm so excited for this new season! Also, for this new season, I’m going to start a count of how many episodes occur where Sailor Venus does nothing essential to the plot. 

# of episodes of Sailor Venus being useless: 1

5, 8, 21, 36, 40, 46, 51!

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

I have never been a superly monofannish person, and I have written for a fair number of fandoms, but discounting fandoms that I was assigned for fic exchanges I have written for Gundam Wing, Fullmetal Alchemist, Escaflowne, Mighty Ducks, Inuyasha, City Hunter, Dawson’s Creek, Avatar the Last Airbender, Sailor Moon, Ouran High School Host Club, Eureka Seven, Steven King’s IT/IT (2017), V (2009) and due to my one lone Beronica Fic, I guess you can say I have technically written for Riverdale. About a month ago I orphaned a lot of my older works because they had become a bit incongruous with what I want attached to my name, so not all of those fandoms are still present on my AO3.

Fandoms that I’ve written exclusively for Yuletide as my main assignment are:  Soul Eater, Diana Wynne Jones’ Archer’s Goon, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Claymore, Drive Me Crazy, and Notting Hill.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Well this is a fun story, but it is sort of a set of factors that brought me to watch an old 90s teen soap opera in this the year of 2018/2019. I should start by saying back when I was a part of the actual target demo for teen shows I only watch Buffy and didn’t deign to watch any of those other inferior teen shows and actually counted not being a weekly viewer of Dawson’s Creek as a point of pride. (It was very much one of those “I’m not like those other girls” nonsense attitudes, oh bb!Kristen you stupid, stupid girl). I did however osmose certain things about the show because at that time, you just sort of did. So how did I go back and actually watch this show well….

The first factor was that in the back half of 2017 I had the weirdest dream, where I literally dreamed the plot of my current WIP Boy Problems for Disney’s The Mighty Ducks which I had not seen or thought of in years (God told Joan of Arc to save France, God tells me to write steamy obscure dudeslash fic, Thanks God!). 

The 2nd Factor was that in like October of 2017, I watched Riverdale which I binged and then kept through to the winter finale of season 2 and then 5 months later thinking I was free (spoiler: I was not in fact free) and I started sort of following it and now I am here sort of following it week to week, but mostly mocking it while dreaming of my super gay alternative, and being increasingly annoyed with the fandom’s tendencies to make superficial comparisons to other show, a fandom trend I have always hated and that harkens back to Zutara fandom in ATLA (Zutara is not 1xr or Van/Hitomi, thanks). 

And the third factor was that way back in like July or August or some time there was a clickbait article that was basically TV shows characters that should have ended up with someone else/wrong endgame pairings which I clicked mostly because I wanted to see what they wrote about the How I Met Your Mother finale (I love reading takes on the HIMYM finale, I find it fascinating) and well the clickbait article stated that Dawson/Joey should have been endgame. This intrigued me because it contradicted everything I had ever heard/osmosed about the show.

So I decided that I would watch it to draw my conclusions and to see if what I had heard was wrong (which I thought was a possibility because I don’t by my nature trust giant ship fandoms like PJo was back in the day, it’s something I still sort of keep to this day), and I was like I will mock it and at the very least I will be able to have ammo against stupid fandom comparisons and due to a shared actor, maybe pick up good screen caps for like a moodboard for The Fic that had now progressed from being a dream to a thing that actually exists. 

And so I started it and as God would have it, I got invested, and now find that the Clickbait article was wrong, fandom needs to shut up Bughead/Barchie/Jeronica is not like Pacey/Joey thankyouverymuch, and I can’t use caps for a mood board because I would just cry and can’t associate anything from the show with anything else. 

So that’s story about how this dumb binch got invested in Dawson’s Creek years after everyone has moved on!

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

No Joke, the first fanfic that I wrote down and then posted was a Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing crossover that was basically just a retelling of the story of Sailor Moon with added giant robots. If you are like “Please tell me it wasn’t Senshi/Pilots” I am afraid I can tell you that (The pairings were if I recall Heero/Serena, Duo/Amy (What?!), Wufei/Raye, Trowa/Lita (cause they were both tall) and Quatre/Mina (Oh Quatre sweetie, I’m so sorry)) I killed Mamoru, and Relena just didn’t exist because this was set more in the SM universe than the GW one so I just brought over the pilots. It was multi-chaptered and I wrote a chapter a day. I wrote five parts of it covering all 5 arcs of Sailor Moon. 

Yes, I was totally better than those other girls as you can see. And no, those fics no longer exist online. In my defense I was 15 years old, I had not yet realized I was a lesbian and if I were to write that story now it would be Usagi/Relena because that story would be effing amazing.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

I enjoy a long slice of life romcom if I’m honest. The plotting of both my longest fics (Boy Problems and Living Arrangements) are the sort of stories that i love to write and come the easiest to me. I am also partial to quiet thematic characters beats and fics that explore characters putting things back together which if I can ever get back to 1xR as a ship that inspires me, I would love to do just a slice of life romance of them paralleling and finding their way back to each other. Also just cute romcom premises are always fun.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

I am so off and on when it comes to prose. Like there are times where I can do it and I love it, and other times it’s a struggle and I have to fight from just making everything dialogue (I maintain confidence in my dialogue.)

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I think both Boy Problems (Mighty Ducks) and Living Arrangements (Dawson’s Creek) are the most apparent clear examples of where I am right now as a writer, but they are longer and the fandoms aren’t super in anyone’s face. I would say of my shorter one-shots, Save the Last Dance (Gundam Wing) and Once Lost, Now Found (City Hunter) are the most emblematic of me as a writer and my approach to characterisation. I also every once again get into to hugely stylistic gen pieces that I generally feel very proud of like Creation in Nine Acts (Avatar the Last Airbender, a mock creation myth for the Avatarverse, written before Korra was a thing but was not meant as the literal creation myth anyways) and State of IT (IT a short vignette from IT’s point of view.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

I don’t know if this a thing I love or hate, but I am tired of fandom’s missives of you MUST COMMENT/KUDOS on everything you read. Comments/kudos/likes/reblogs on fanworks (not just fic) are great, but I don’t think that anyone is obligated to do any of those things. I think what I would rather do than rant or gush is to say that I think if you are a creator try to at least find comfort in validation of respecting and loving your own work. Write for yourself first and foremost. I think when I let go of the need for validation was when I really allowed myself to grow and appreciate myself as a writer. I wasn’t worried about what other people would think but just if I can read this and enjoy it and allows me a little more time thinking and writing about characters that I love than I am good, and I post it as a sort of second thought for if I enjoy it there may be others (even if it is one other person). So I guess I would leave it at that. If you’re a reader, don’t worry if you don’t leave feedback, no one is owed it and you don’t have to give any if you don’t feel that you can. And if you are writer, I would urge you to focus and write for you first and foremost and treat any feedback as a sort of treat on top of the pride of knowing you saw something through.

100 Questions

it’s long so it’s under the cut, but man was this fun. thanks for the tag @the-most-beautiful-broom ♥ i’ll tag my loves (if you want to haha this is a lot) @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @perhalta @dracovengeance @hedaalicia and @amihanmayari

1. What is your nickname? Bails

2. How old are you? 24

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius!

5. What is your favorite color? green (Aw hey linds, same !!) 

6. What’s your lucky number? I was number 8 for marching band every single year (F8 for flute 8) except my junior year, and my junior year we had a shit show, so im calling that. 

7. Do you have any pets? 5 dogs back home in seattle but none where i live now or in NY when i get back

8. Where are you from? everywhere and nowhere. my dads military. but im american! 

9. How tall are you? 5’ 5″

10. What shoe size are you? 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A whole lot, but they’re not always all with me. 

12. Are you random? not really. im pretty set in my routines and very comfortably a home body

13. Last person you texted? my best friend @broadwaybound2016

14. Are you psychic in any way? not even a little tbh

15. Last TV show watched? The Bold Type (WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)

16. Favorite movie? I’m not really sure but i just watched Love, Simon and im literally just crying because of it right now so im gonna go with that until further notice

17. Favorite show from your childhood? probably Lizze McGuire

18. Do you want children? Nope

19. Do you want a church wedding? I dont really want to get married

20. What is your religion? agnostic? maybe? im not religious, and not very spiritual. I love spirituality, things like crystals and stuff, but i try not to appropriate those things from groups/cultures who actually use them. I’d love to learn more about them and be someone who actually knew how to practice but, again, i dont want to step on toes culturally and take things that aren’t mine to take

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? a lot! a ton of surgeries on my ears

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope, im literally a goody two shoes

23. How is life? lovely

24. Baths or showers? showers!

25. What color socks are you wearing? i dont really wear socks? i like those little half socks. I’m not wearing any rn

26. Have you ever been famous? nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? probably. i’d love to have a voice, and if it was for doing something i love, i cant think of anything better than getting to share my passion with the world like that. But it would definitely be a lot of pressure

28. What type of music do you like? i’m into literally anything. I love Hayley Kiyoko, the 1975, big fan of just basic pop like ariana grande and charlie puth, Harry Styles’s album is a masterpiece, Shawn Mendes, 5th Harmony. i love anything.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes!!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? just two!

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my stomach

32. How big is your house? my house at home is a 5 bedroom 3 bath, my apt in amsterdam rn is just a room in a hotel type place with my own bathroom, and my apt in nyc is a studio

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? i literally hardly ever eat breakfast, but i love a bagel

34. Have you ever left the country? I’m in europe RIGHT NOW! lol

35. Have you ever tried archery? once, i was terrible

36. Do you like anyone? Not right now, but i might want too

37. Favorite swear word? i love the word fuck. it’s got so much you can do with it. i swear like a sailor.

38. When do you fall asleep? ummmmmm? whenever i guess lol 

39. Do you have any scars? A few small ones. a decent one on my knee from falling off my bike when i was 8

40. Sexual orientation? Bisexual

41. Are you a good liar? excellent

42. What languages would you like to learn? ALLLL the languages. I’d love to learn native hawai’ian. i spent my high school years there and the culture is so incredible, and i was so welcomed into it by my friends who were from there, i’d love a chance to really connect too it and try to learn that. 

43. Top 10 songs? Oh boy... im just gonna bullet these because i cant decide the order but this is the general

the way i am - charlie puth

young god - halsey 

rather be - clean bandit

feelings - hayley kiyoko

woman - harry styles 

make me feel - janelle monáe 

six inch heels - beyonce 

get right witcha - migos

my my my - troye sivan 

nice for what - drake 

44. Do you like your country? i’m torn at the moment. I hate tr*mp and everything him and his stand for, but i think america can be a wonderful place. 

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes!! <3

46. What is your personality type? MBTI: INTP 

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? yes!

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Hermione and Hermione is me. (also i really relate a lot to Lexa from the 100, which... is interesting. the way she suppresses feelings, her generally logical approach to things, the way she is totally useless around pretty girls.) 

50. Left or right handed? right!

51. Are you scared of spiders? If they’re like, big spiders yes. or if they come out of nowhere. im way more scared of cockroaches tho.

52. Favorite food? For some reason this question has been really hard for me lately? idk. i love a good indian style curry, and tacos? 

53. Favorite foreign food? Indian!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m CLEAN, but im messy. i feel like cleanliness and orderliness have been misconstrued to mean the same thing, but clean is to dirty as orderly is to messy. I’m clean and messy, i am not very orderly, and i am NOT dirty. 

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Experience a walk down the street in a city at night where im not afraid

56. What color underwear? black

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? not too long, but it sometimes takes me a long ass time to pick an outfit 

58. Do you have much of an ego? It’s as big as it should be. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck on them until i can bite them

60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly.

61. Do you sing to yourself? Hell yeah

62. Are you a good singer? i’m decent but i need another voice to match with. on my own i can’t carry a tune. 

63. Biggest Fears? failure. and heights. 

64. Are you a gossip? I can be, but never about like.. bad things. I like to talk about how this friend or that friend did x y z cool thing but im not like “omg did you hear so and so hooked up with so and so” 

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Not really because i can’t spell for shit

66. Do you have long or short hair? Short-ish? i cut my hair in march of LAST YEAR and then trimmed it again this year and i want it to fucking grow

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i would definitely forget some

68. Favorite school subject? History

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Pretty introverted. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah, im not allowed too for medical reasons

71. What makes you nervous? when I see kids wandering and their parents not noticing (okay im keeping that because me too, but also travelling? like the in-transit part of travel, catching busses/trains/planes makes me panic)

72. Are you scared of the dark? not at all

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? i try not too unless its major. usually its unintentional or the mistake is irrelevant to the flow of the conversation/situation  

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, but i hate being tickled unless its like, my sister or my dad

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes i have lol (linds, ily, we DEFINITELY have been over this already)

77. Have you ever drank underage? a little, but not until i was like 19, and then i was in europe for 6 months, so i didnt REALLY drink underage until i was like... less than 6 months to 21

78. Have you ever done drugs? Pot pretty regularly here in Amsterdam, and i’ve done shrooms

79. What do you fantasize about? getting a beautiful loft in a big city (preferrably london or NYC), with a kick ass job, a dog, and maybe a girlfriend with huge curly hair.

80. How many piercings do you have? Four

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yep!

82. How fast can you type? I just took a little online quiz that said i can type 72 words per minute with 93% accuracy? 

83. How fast can you run? lol I don’t run (same linds... same)

84. What color is your hair? brown!

85. What color are your eyes? Green!

86. What are you allergic to? I’m a bit lactose intolerant and pineapple makes my tongue itch?

87. Do you keep a journal? no, but i wish i did sometimes 

88. Are you depressed about anything? I’m not depressed “about anything”, im just generally someone who experiences a pretty mild case of depression.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah, i dig it.

90. What makes you angry? bigotry, ignorance, and spilling things. I spill drinks constantly, i spilled a WHOLE BOWL OF CEREAL ON MY FLOOR THE OTHER NIGHT.  

91. Do you like your own name? I didn’t used too but i really do now

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? not that i know of

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I don’t want kids. 

94. What talents do you have? i have a pretty great memory, but for random things i dont need 

95. Sun or moon? Moon <3

96. How did you get your name? My dad, he just liked it. My middle name was also my dad, he heard the name Jess on the movie A Man From Snowy River and he thought it was a nice like, nickname/pet name, so he gave me the middle name Ges (pronounced like Jess) with the intent of calling me that (it didnt stick), but he didn’t want anyone to think my middle name was Jessica, so he spelled it Ges.

97. Are you religious? I am not, but i have a lot of respect for the concept of religion, as long as its used for the real purpose, which is to make people feel peace and help people find love and comfort. 

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I have not, but i shold

99. Color of your bedspread? White

100. Color of your room? White, with one black wall 

good evening, caleb! which are some of your fave movies? what about series? :)

hello hello!! 

hmm, i quite comfortable over here with my disney movies. my favorite movie of all time would be mulan — it’s a movie i come back to when i feel bad & has helped poor confused me with figuring things out. but i also adore lion king, hercules, tarzan, hond, and atlantis. ( & sleeping beauty is my princess movie. ) i am a disney prince at heart, orchestral swells at tender moments and all. 

i define favorites as movies that i watch over and over again … they have a nice vibe or the way they made me feel hurt to the point that i had to watch it again or perish: 

princess mononoke & other ghibli films. 

inception 

interstellar 

dead poet society 

gone girl 

lord of the rings trilogy 

star wars 

brokeback mountain 

& more idk from this can you tell i like movies that depict desolation and wide open emptiness? 

for series … if i’ve watched it at least twice then i consider it a fav:

parks and recreation stands at the top with 5 rewatches

x-files !! 

a:tla & a:lok 

steven universe & gravity falls & gumball & we bare bears

i love opulent historical shows like the borgias, the tudors, & versailles

sailor moon & other 80s/90s anime 

criminal minds & other crime shows like csi & poi 

daredevil is the only one i liked lmao 

i adored the get down so much 

i also love sci-fi like firefly, stargate, dollhouse, & sense8 

and current ones: westworld & stranger things 

god ppl asking me my favorite things make me kinda anxious bc i always feel like … an imposter? like … i should knoW my favorite things off the top of my head and not have to like scroll through Best 100 Sci-Fi Movies list ….. but this is what happens when ppl belittle ur interests and make u feel like a foole for liking things …or they like the same thing things but they do it better so u can’t bc ur doing it wrong ... u feel??? yikes .... but that’s a rant for a different day 

2020 In Review

I used to end the year with blog posts highlighting 100 things, or 50 things if I wasn’t that ambitious, that I loved about the year. Usually, those things were pop culture things. 2020, however, is a special year, no? I mean, a pandemic, quarantines, political unrest, massive bread lines, natural disasters, refugees seeking better lives, stressful elections, etc. For most people, to make a blanket statement, this year sucked.

Most of the people following me know that I’m a freelance writer, but I have a full time day job as a fresh merchandiser for a food service distributor. That means I never “shut down” or worked from home or any of the other things people have been forced to do. I work a full day pretty much every day with customers who don’t understand why distribution has slowed, why I have “long term outs” of items like cases of hard boiled eggs or fresh ginger, why there are certain days of the week when they just can’t get chicken wings. I have people who refuse to wear masks, employees who forget to disinfect work stations, and a questionnaire I have to fill out before every shift as to whether or not I think I’ve been exposed to covid. And when I’m done there, I escape by writing.

As a result, I haven’t been doing much for fun. Outside of my day job, the media I consume is generally for freelance work, which has made this year really exhausting, no matter how much writing/stories is an escape for me. That’s why, instead of just things I loved this year, I’m going to give you a list of 10 pieces of media I’ve consumed - over and over and over again - that I’ve somehow not gotten sick of when writing listicles about the subjects. I feel like we all need to feel like we’re getting lost in a good story, or with characters we genuinely enjoy, even if, like me, we’re getting lost in those worlds with those characters to be able to write about them.

The Baby-Sitters Club

I was obsessed with the books, the ‘90s show, and the eventual movie as a kid, so it’s no surprise that I was counting down the days until the Netflix adaptation premiered - and I loved it. I’m not going to lie, I’ve watched this show from beginning to end four times this year. It’s such a quick watch and there’s something really great about watching these girls grow up.

Nancy Drew

Again, obsessed with Nancy Drew as a kid. More specifically, obsessed with the ‘80s case files as a kid. I read all of them I could get my hands on. The new television show is a little more Riverdale than the novels are, but it’s an interesting spin on the characters and stories we already know - and the representation of a diverse community on the show is fantastic.

Anne With An E

I’m still holding out hope for a movie to close out this show since there are something like seven books in the original series and the show basically only covered the first one? Where is the justice? But, this is another show I think I’ve watched three times from beginning to end because Anne Shirley Cuthbert is someone you want to be friends with, no matter how old you are. You also want her to come to her senses within about 30 seconds of being introduced to Gilbert Blythe, so you know, it’s a fun and angsty time.

Agents Of SHIELD

One of my favorite Marvel properties ended this year, and… I should probably be more sad about it? Like, I absolutely would have watched more episodes of this show if it had kept going, but I’m also incredibly satisfied with how the show concluded this year, which is rare for me. I’ve gone back and rewatched a handful of episodes for articles, and Agents Of SHIELD feels like a show that I’ll end up rewatching yearly because it’s one of the few shows where I’ve actively engaged in fandom for years and still genuinely love.

Timeless

Yes, I rewatched this gem this year while writing a handful of listicles, and I’m bitter that this didn’t get more seasons. The cast chemistry, the stories of those often overlooked by history, and the twist of a shady organization being closer than you think? It’s pretty perfect. I miss it. It’s a yearly rewatch already.

Pitch Perfect Trilogy

Every so often, I find myself in the mood to hear Anna Kendrick belt out a few songs. Pitch Perfect tends to win out over Into The Woods, and I can’t ever seem to stop at just the first movie. Pitch Perfect is cheesy and not as perfect as its title implies, but it always puts me in a good mood. I want more comedies about a capella groups, please.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

If I had to say where my love of serial storytelling, or my ability to engage in fandom, started, it was with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I had friends who would create their own team of Rangers when I was little, and we’d trade kicks on the playground (which got us in trouble), and yeah, as an adult watching a show made in 1993, this show is ridiculous. Full stop. But it’s also the kind of show that makes you remember that a whole generation was raised on the idea that even if the good guys don’t always win, they keep trying. They never give up. And that’s just as important today as it was then.

Teen Wolf

I recognize that this show is sometimes a mess and that continuity is not always its strong suit. Does that mean I love it any less? Nope. And neither does the rest of the internet since some of my articles still get heavy rotation even though the show has been off the air for years. It’s the kind of show that pulls me in, even when I already know what’s about to happen.

Leverage

Oh, Leverage. How do I possibly explain how excited I am that you’re getting a revival? I don’t think I can. Also, I don’t know why I’m talking to Leverage directly when I haven’t to anything else on this list. Leverage is about a group of criminals who steal from the corrupt to give back to their victims. I mean. It’s Robin Hood for the modern age. It’s a found family. There are love stories. There are redemption arcs. It’s just chock full of greatness. And Aldis Hodge as Alec Hardison.

RWBY

I only really got into RWBY last year, and it’s fast becoming one of my favorite anime, though admittedly, I don’t watch a ton of anime. I love the references to fairy tales, mythology, and history mixed into this crazy fantasy world. I love that the villains are as compelling as the heroes. I love that in such a large cast of characters, I want to know more about everyone. It’s a fascinating show and some of the episodes are only five minutes long. 

Sailor Moon

I grew up in the ‘90s era of television, so, of course, I watched Sailor Moon after school. The English dubs because I’m a heathen, what do you want from me? I’ve really enjoyed revisiting the ‘90s series after watching Sailor Moon Crystal because, obviously, the ‘90s anime is not exactly the story that was told in the manga. It has such a rich mythology and fascinating characters not to mention beautiful designs.

Naruto

I’m going to be honest, you guys. I never thought I would be into Naruto. But something about it just hooks you. I got into it because there were always listicle topics that editors created for the show on the sites I write for, and I was curious. Unlike manga purists, I actually really like the filler episodes. I think they add a lot to understanding the characters. Also, there is no anime character I love more than Shikamaru in Naruto Shippuden.

New Girl

Okay. New Girl has really been the saving grace of 2020. I know this show ended a few years ago. I know that people should be ready for other things. But here’s the truth: I’m not really a sitcom person. I was as a teenager, but as an adult, I like my serial storytelling to be completely unrealistic and dramatic, usually. But 2020 has been so heavy that I needed the lightness New Girl provides. 

And I love each and every resident of the loft - even the ones I would never be able to stand hanging out with in real life. I love how much they all grow up over the course of the show. I love the one-liners. I love the running jokes. I love the musical numbers. I love the Nick and Jess of it all. In 2020 alone I have watched the first five episodes of this show about ten times. I’ve watched the show from beginning to end twice in just the last three months of the year. I love it so much I’ve even considered writing fanfiction for it (though I really don’t have the time and haven’t even finished old works over the last year). When this pandemic is behind us all, I’d actually consider playing the (arguably dangerous and would likely give everyone alcohol poisoning) game of True American just to see if my friends and I could get through it. 2020 has been rough, but at least New Girl is still on Netflix.

There you have it, a baker’s dozen of the things that got me through this year - mostly in television format. There’s something I just love about serial storytelling, and when it looks like the world is falling apart, it’s nice to have the comfort of happy endings and stories you can plot out yourself. Here’s hoping 2021 is kinder to all of us, and has plenty more stories for us to get lost in.

So About Hinata’s Story...

I’ve gotten into Naruto again and I have a lot to say.

I told myself not to do it, but @crowlesbian told me I might as well, so I wrote this in an attempt to get across how I’d personally rewrite Hinata and Neji’s story to maximize their character development. 

I’ve seen some people write their own but this is simply my take.

You see, Hinata isn’t a character we see a whole lot in the manga so there isn’t really much to go off of because Naruto has what I affectionately refer to as ‘Sailor Moon Syndrome.'

Because like Sailor Moon, only a few members of the cast have character development. Understandably Naruto is the title character so of course, those closest to him (that being Team 7) are the main focus and it’s fine.

[[This is, however, why I believe both the  Sailor Moon and Naruto anime are more beloved: The humanization of the other characters.

(The best example is Rock Lee, whose only real story arc happened in Part 1. Nevertheless, he remains a popular and beloved character and people enjoy the episode’s with him in it.)

The anime did a great job with the stories unfolding around Naruto by developing the other members of the Konoha 11, the other Jonin, etc… regardless of whether or not it’s ‘canon’ to the source material or not, I personally choose to consider the anime as canon to itself — it’s simply a different way to tell the same story and while some of the episodes are a bit, uh, much and many times out of place, I appreciate it.

But I digress.]]

The point is we don’t see Hinata much so there really isn’t much to go off. Nevertheless, I believe her story could have been better had more emphasis been put on her role as a member of the Hyuga Clan and her relationship with Neji.

The problem is that Neji and Hinata’s stories are intrinsically intertwined but the more interesting parts of their relationship aren’t very well presented if you ask me.

On the outside, yes, Neji and Hinata’s story begins as your average Genius vs. Loser face off, but there’s much more than that going on.

Their story is about Social Class and Privilege.

Neji’s anger at the Main House of the family wasn’t unjustified, he was right and things aren’t actually solved just because he learned his Father choose to die in place of Hiashi…

[Keep Reading]

The Branch Family lives to serve the Main Branch and while it’s hinted things began to change, er… there isn’t really any definitive information about that.

I don’t want to spend too much time on things we already know, but Neji was angry because he believed his father was murdered in the place of his uncle.

And it frustrated him to know that no matter how talented he was or how high he ranked, his literal purpose was to serve the Main Branch of his family.

He’s so talented he was able to learn so much by himself but how many other Neji’s are in the Side Branch? How many bright and talented kids never even get the chance to learn the more advanced family techniques because they’re forbidden to be taught to them?

How many have been punished via Cursed Seal for having the audacity to be unhappy?

Meanwhile, Hinata’s suffering isn’t necessarily caused by the Main House / Side Branch Family structure, but it is a symptom of it:

Her problems stem from the fact her Father has deemed her too unworthy to be considered the heir for the Main Branch of the family and disowned(?) her due to her more gentle and timid personality (if she were a member of the side branch I’m sure this wouldn’t be a problem.)

But what does all this mean?

Well, it means that Neji and Hinata’s story should have been about them trying to fix the system that lead to their troubles in the first place.

And here’s how I think it should go:

In their fight, Hinata mentions that she shows Neji is suffering but I don’t think she knows the full extent of it. I’d like it if she learned that during his fight with Naruto.

Neji’s putting all his family’s business out there anyway, so it might as well be used to set something else up.

After Hiashi apologizes to Neji, tells him the truth and begins training him, Hinata should speak with Neji.

They have their first real heart-to-heart where he apologizes for trying to kill her and she apologizes for not realizing just how badly he’s been suffering and promises that she’ll do whatever she’s able to help him and everyone else who’s suffering thereby giving her a new goal.

Never breaking a promise is her nindo, after all, and it’s definitely a worthy goal.

Neji would simply thank her for her apology.

From there on out, Hinata trains hard to obtain her new goal–becoming strong enough to reclaim her status as Clan Heir.

She trains harder with Kiba and Shino and as her resolve strengthens they begin to perform better on missions.

Hiashi and Hanabi begin to notice her newfound resolve and so does Neji.

He begins to think that maybe she’s serious about what she promised (prompting a flashback of Naruto claiming he’ll never go back on his word and will become Hokage,) and he goes to watch Hinata train.

She still has trouble pushing herself while training alone and Neji extends the offer to assist her.

Hinata agrees and that’s when they begin training.

Kurenai, Kiba, and Shino notice how much better her relationship with her family has gotten and how cheerful she’s become now.

Neji’s a strict teacher but a really good one and she begin improving quickly.

Their newfound relationship shouldn’t just benefit Hinata, however, it should also benefit Neji.

So as they grow closer as friends, Neji begins to feel more comfortable telling Hinata about his dreams and ambitions, the ridiculous antics of his team and things like that.

Gai, Lee, and Tenten begin to notice a change in Neji too. He seems less on edge than usual and begins improving his performance as well.

He’s been able to perfect and refine his understanding of what Hiashi teaches him by applying it to his lessons with Hinata. (because once you truly understanding something you’re able to teach it.)

This is where things really take a turn because I think that Hinata should begin to admire Neji as her inspiration.

She doesn’t have to stop liking Naruto or stop admiring him–he’ll always be the person who inspired her first— but it would be nice to see her take inspiration from other people too.

Because Neji didn’t have anyone there to teach him, he didn’t have anyone to really encourage him to get up and keep trying, he learned all of this on his own, he became strong on his own and he did it while knowing he was ‘only’ a member of the side branch of the family.

Neji is amazing and she hopes to one day be as strong as him.

Eventually, they take the Chunin Exams again and Hinata becomes a Chunin. Neji, of course, becomes a Jonin and they begin working on the Gentle Step Twin Lion Fists in hopes she can further impress her Father and Hanabi.

Hiashi asks Neji what spurred Hinata to start working so hard and why he agreed to help her and Neji simply tells him they have a goal they must work together to obtain–because he fully believes in his and her power to do this.

They’ve also become best friends.

Gai believes that Neji really has the makings of a teacher and is proud of him for coming so far. He has so much youthful determination!

This, of course, spurs on Lee and Tenten to train even harder!

In fact, it’s clear to everyone how far both he and Hinata have come thanks to their training together.

Not wanting to fall behind, Shino and Kiba up their training and Team 8 have risen to become one of the best tracking teams in the village!

Over this time Hinata begins to have a more sunny disposition. She still has anxiety because those things don’t really go away so easily but it’s a bit more manageable now so by the time she meets Naruto again maybe she won’t faint.

Nevertheless, she’s happy to see him.

Naruto’s story pans out as usual.

Hinata, as always, tries to buy time for Naruto by jumping in front of Pain, confesses her feelings but also feels sorry she couldn’t keep her word to Neji—Pain almost kills her, Naruto beats him up, and everyone turns out ok.

When Hiashi learns Hinata jumped in front of Pain he muses about how much she’s grown and speaks with her about how admirable her actions were. He tells her she’s happy she’s alright and that making difficult choices is something a leader must always do. Hiashi also lets her know that believes she’s shaping up to be a really good one under Neji’s influence.

At this point, Hanabi realizes that Hinata might actually reclaim her status as heir to the clan and they decide to spur each other on —neither wanting to lose but also wanting to fight while the other is at their best.

[If I wanted to get into any shipping stuff I guess this is where Naruto would ask Hinata if she was alright and if maybe she’d want to get some ramen when Ichiraku is rebuilt. He also makes a point to say goodbye to her when he goes to talk to the Raikage, to the Falls of Truth and whenever else he leaves the village, alluding to them become closer as friends.)

Anyway—

Hinata greatly improves her confidence and taijutsu abilities in time for the 4th Great Ninja War.  

She and Neji fight side by side and protect a lot of people.

They both survive. Naruto pulls some protagonist shit and protects them from the splinters.

[Again I guess this would be where Naruto tells Hinata how happy he is that he got to save her from danger this time and it’s cute or whatever. They hold hands when Naruto takes time to ask if she’s okay and she’s happy she gets to stand beside him and all that jazz.)]

Regardless, both Neji and Hinata are trapped by The Infinite Tsukuyomi where they both have similar dreams about uniting the Hyuga Clan. (In Hinata’s case I guess Naruto could be there to congratulate her on fulfilling her dream.)

Sometime after the war, Neji begins to think about becoming a Jonin leader since he seems to have a knack for teaching and asks Gai what he thinks about the idea first.

Gai is very proud of him and thinks he’ll do great! Now he’ll have his own students to pass his youth unto! And Neji is very pleased.

After the war everything is peaceful and happy. 

(Naruto and Hinata begin spending more time together as friends and then Naruto decides he really likes Hinata and tries to ask her on an official date but she’s been busy preparing for a very important duel with her sister. 

When he finally gets the chance, the events of ‘The Last Movie’ take place and Toneri kidnaps Hanabi. Neji was off on a mission or something so he isn’t part of the Hanabi rescue team. Either that or he joins them and makes it a six man squad??? idk.

At some point, someone (Sai?) might ask Hinata why she’s fighting so hard to get Hanabi back when she’s competition for her. Hanabi stands in the way of her dreams. But Hinata tells him that, while that’s true, her sister matters more to her than the title. She and Neji can fulfill their dreams without hurting anyone or leaving them behind.)

When both Hanabi and Hinata are adults and Hiashi is ready to retire, they fight to see who will become heir to the Hyuga Clan.

Within this time Neji and Hinata managed to rally Hanabi to their cause as well as some others who see the need to change.

While I’d like Hinata to win as a show for all her hard work, I think I’d have to give the heir position to Hanabi anyway.

Regardless the three of them all work together to reform the clan.

Hanabi as the head, Neji as her advisor and Hinata can help train some of the younger clan members in both The Gentle Fist Taijutsu and Tracking, which she, Kiba and Shino are still greatly recognized for.

Meanwhile, all of Team Gai becomes Legendary Shinobi! 

(I guess this is where Hinata marry’s Naruto and starts her own family. Neji helps to oversee Boruto’s training and visits them a lot. When Himawari becomes a ninja she’s assigned to Neji’s Squad.)

Nevertheless Hinata, Neji and Hanabi remain close and everything is beautiful.

I say all of this not because I dislike Hinata, but because I like her. She’s a good character but Kishimoto could have done more with her story and tied it into her family issues better. 

11 Qs

tagged by my darling @imchangjun thank you julie 💖💖

apparently i’m supposed to answer these questions then write my own 11, but i’m not gonna do that last part bc we all know my only friends are julie, maddie and emma and we’ll end up in an infinite circle of tagging each other

1. Which fictional character (can be from a book, movie, show etc.) do you connect with the most and why? sailor moon tbh. she’s so clumsy and clueless but she’s just trying her best and she has so much love for her friends

2. What is your aesthetic? don’t got one. i’m basic and i’m all about pastels and floral and vintage that’s not really vintage but just 90′s kids being nostalgic 

3. Recommend a show. Why should people watch it? i don’t watch tv and when i do it’s just reno shows and the food network so idk tbh. drama wise, i haven’t watched anything good since Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, which if you haven’t seen, check it out! bc Minhyuk isn’t a typical rich asshole and him crushing is so relatable and the storyline is complex enough to keep it interesting!!

4. Phone or computer? computer! i hate doing stuff on my phone, such a tiny screen and i refuse to put on my glasses

5. Which fictional world would you want to live in? totoro’s world! forest spirits and magical creatures is the dream. tbh im just a hoe for the forest

6. Look outside the nearest window. What do you see? my neighbour’s house! i can normally see into their window but they have their blinds down today lmao

7. If you could meet anyone in the world who would it be and what would you say to them? i’m going to be that loser who says bts l m a o but more specifically, namjoon. i would tell him thank you for everything he does, working so hard composing, writing, producing, helping the other members bring their own songs to life and just for being himself! he tries his best to stay connected to the fans and he just says very inspirational and comforting things, especially on vlive and he just makes me feel better.

8. Are there any lyrics that resonate with you? What are they? why are these questions so deep??? there really are no lyrics that resonate with me bc i don’t listen to music for the lyrics aldsalkf

9. What was the last thing you bought? 10 dollar jeans from forever21! or bubble tea? they happened on the same day so idk

10. What’s inside your bag? my wallet, a pack of gum, chap stick, and my bus card (and garbage tbh). for my school bag, add books and my pencil case and a picture of jungkook that i keep in my pencil case

11. If you could have one song be your theme song, what would it be? thomas the tank engine tbh imagine just hearing it in the distance as i approach, that’d be sick

thank you again 🖤🖤🖤