Colorado is so greedy my hometown now has a Raising Canes, In-N-Out, AND a Buckees. Plus if you drive a little more than an hour you can go to a Pizza Ranch. There's a reason no one can agree on what part of the country Colorado is because it wants to be every part.

Mission: I Do - Chp. 2 (Agent Whiskey x f!reader)

Summary: A new mission has come up and you are sent off on it with Agent Whiskey as your partner. However, you have to go undercover as his fiancee. What will this mission mean for you and your harboring crush on him? This chapter is the set up to the mission. This chapter's not the most entertaining and I apologize for that. It's basically a build up/keep the flow going chapter lol. Rating: Teen Warnings: Language, alcohol usage (tipsy), poisoning, mutual pining (please let me know if I missed any) AO3 Link | Masterlist | Join my taglist here! Chp. 1 - more chapters to come! (Will be added here and in taglist) You awake the next morning to yourself being enveloped in warmth. It was comforting but definitely something new to you. You shot your eyes open to find yourself snuggled into Jack’s chest. You nervously panicked and slid back, waking him up in the process.

“Mhm. What’s wrong?” He groans, his voice raspy with sleep. He then notices his hand placed on your hip. You both look up and eye each other before he removes it. “Well… not sure how we got like that. But my apologies.” He chuckles lightly, removing his hand. “It’s okay. I uh.. I somehow moved in my sleep as well.” You chuckle nervously.  “I’m um...going to go get dressed for the day.” You say as you spring up from the bed.

Jack rolls over and looks at the clock to see it’s 10am “Yea better we get dressed, head down for some breakfast and then make our way down to the convention. Get this show on the road.” 

You crawl from the bed and head over to the closet where you had stored your clothes for the trip, going over what you think would be best to wear. You wanted to look nice but nothing too over the top. “I’m going to change in the bathroom and put my makeup on.” You as you step in and shut the door behind you. “Alright, I’ll get dressed out here a while. Jack replies.

Several minutes past before you return from the bathroom. You decided on a simple white sundress with some sandals. You find Jack laying back on the bed. Fully dressed in his normal attire he wears when off duty. Jeans, a plain white t-shirt, boots and his favorite black cowboy hat. He sits up and whistles when he sees you.

“Well don’t you just look gorgeous. All dolled up.” He smirks, eyeing you over. 

You blush slightly, looking down to try to hide it. You didn’t think you had done anything too crazy. You were just wearing simple casual clothes in your opinion. But, apparently to him you looked amazing. “Thank you Jack.” You respond, blushing lightly. 

“I’ve ordered us room service breakfast so it should be here any minute now. We can go over the case  a bit more while we eat.” He says.

Not long after breakfast arrives, you two sit at the little table in the foyer of the room and go over the mission. Jack pulls out his file from his suitcase, going over pictures of the main culprit and anyone else Statesman had pulled files on that are working with the culprit.

“So we need to find the main guy, what company or companies he controls and any of his crew. Take them all down and prevent anymore kidnappings or bombings. The other agents were sent out to spots designated where anyone kidnapped previously been noted to do rescues.” He says, closing the file. “Shouldn’t be too hard. Champ said we have a few locations to keep in our peruse. The convention, a local restaurant, the hotel here itself and a local club. We have a week to complete the mission which is more than enough.” 

You nod listening to him explain as you sip your coffee. This is going to be a long and interesting weekend. Surely is going to be pulling all sorts of ways at your heartstrings. Looking at wedding stuff, sharing a bed and who knows what else for a potential week. You two finish your breakfast and gear up for the day. Jack tucks his whip and lasso to his belt so they’re hidden, while you strap a pistol and knife to your thigh. Always got to be prepared for any potential danger.

Arriving at the venue, you see it’s a large warehouse building full of tables and tables of business to help you plan your wedding. From venues, catering, clothing and more. You hope someday you can actually experience this for real, and hope even more than it could be with Jack who stands beside you. As you take everything in, you feel Jack’s hand grip yours gently, sliding the ring onto your finger. “Forgot that this mornin’. Might need it to keep the cover.” He says. “Oh. Right, sorry. Thank you for remembering.” You respond.

“Of course darlin’. What else is a future husband for?” He smirks, sliding his hand into yours. Interlocking his fingers with yours. 

Lord have mercy… this mission might actually kill you if Jack keeps up his flirtiness on top of everything else.

“Shall we get to perusing?” He says, motioning his hand to the venue. You pull him through the aisles, stopping at a few tables to look at things to seem like actually wedding planning. You decide to stop at a dress stand to look over some dresses for the lady running the booth seemed to match the description of one of the crewmates. “Honey, come look at these!” You shout to him, waving your hand. Jack looks in your direction, noticing why you called him to that booth. He slips on his glasses and hits the button to activate the hidden camera before coming over. Making sure while he made his way over to get the lady’s face in frame and the name of the supposed company. “What do you think of this one?” You ask. Pulling out a long lace sleeved, off the shoulder dress. “Would you like to try it on?” The lady asks.

“Oh uh… I-” You start to say.

“Go on. Try it on. I like it very much. Why you do so, I’ll discuss things with the lady here.” Jack smiles. 

You nod and head into the little changing rooms the lady has while Jack talks to her, hopefully getting some good information out of her. After a few minutes and working to get the dress on you step out from the changing booth to stand in front of Jack and the booth lady. Jack's eyes widen and he about drops his jaw to the floor before he quickly straightens himself out and clears his throat. “Wow darlin’, you look… beautiful.” He smiles, eyeing you over.

“Th-thank you.” You blush, looking down.

“That dress suits you very much! Allow me to give you my business card for future fittings if you’re interested in the dress.” The lady smiles, handing you the card. You gladly take it. Solid, got a location of where potential kidnappings could be happening. You smile and look yourself over one more time before heading back into the changing booth to change back into the clothes you arrived in. You exit the booth and make your way around to some other booths, seeing if any of the runners catch your eyes as crewmates or the main culprit. You go down a few aisles until Jack pulls you into a venue booth. “You know darlin’ I always dreamed of a barn wedding. Something about them is just so simple but elegant all the same. What do you think?” He asks.

As you enter the booth the host greets you and you instantly recognize him to be the main culprit. Thank god Jack still has his glasses on and is recording the whole thing so you can send it back to Ginger later tonight and inform her you found him.

“Hello sir. Ma'am.” He nods his head to you. “I see you are interested in our venue?” He asks.

“Yes sir. Always found myself fond of a rustic barn wedding. But, the decision of the venue is ultimately up to my fine lady here.” He says turning to you.

“I think a barn wedding sounds very nice honey.” You smile. “I’d love to get more information on the venue if we could.”

“Certainly.” The guy smiles, handing you two some pamphlets on the venue, going over information with you and etc. “The venue is my own family's barn. It’s a 200 year old property but we keep it well maintained and we have a bed and breakfast on the property for you and your family to stay at the day and night before.” 

“Sounds lovely to me.” Jack smiles. “We shall take this information and discuss but I think I’m hooked already.” You nod in agreement and part your ways from the guy. Jack leans down to whisper in your ear as you walk away, but hiding it so it looks like he’s kissing you instead.

“That’s definitely him. Hopefully we can run into him again later to corner him and take him down. Good job on finding the other lady. Let me know if you spot anything else and I will do the same for you.” He states.

You nod in response and continue to work your way through the aisles. Looking around to some venues, not really seeing any other people you recognize to be suspicious. But to keep your cover you do pull each other into some booths. Jack pulls you into a catering booth when he sees some good looking food to try. You chuckle as he tastes just about everything there is, handing you pieces to try as well. You manage to pull him into a few booths too, one being a ring booth that caught your eye. You don’t notice him watching you as you eye over your favorites.

Once you two have perused most of the aisles, not finding anything else and realizing it’s getting pretty late in the day you decide to call it a day for the convention. “It’s getting close to dinner time. I’m hungry. How about you?” He asks.

“Definitely. Those little bites of food here and there didn’t stick with me much.” You chuckle.

“Come on, I know of a good place you should try.” He says, leading you to the car. 

Jack decided to treat you to a local fast food favorite, Whataburger. Being a man from the south he knew of all the popular joints. You were raised in the big city of New York, only ever having traveled to new places once joined the Statesman. So any chance you could get to check out a regional thing when on a trip you took the opportunity. You two sat in the pickup truck that was rented for the weekend, chowing down on your food in silence.

“See I told you it was some good shit.” He chuckles.

“Mhm” Is all you can make out as you continue to devour your food.

Once finished eating and back at the hotel you scramble around trying to figure out what to wear. You were to go to the local club up the street tonight to see if you could catch the culprit or anyone there by chance. You’ve been to clubs before on many missions but, you always have a hard time deciding what to wear. You want to fit in but also don’t want to stand out too much. Jack layed back on the bed, sending the information from today over to Champ as you paced back and forth in the room from the dresser to the bathroom. He had already changed as soon as you got back. And by changed, he swapped his white t-shirt for an army green t-shirt and threw on his go to black leather jacket. You finally settled on another dress and slipped into the bathroom for the final time to slip it on and fix your makeup some. 

“Um Jack?” You step out of the bathroom.

He sits up on his elbow from his spot on the bed and about drops his jaw at the sight of you, for the second time today. Whistling at you once again. 

“Damn darlin’... You keep shocking me with your looks. Everytime I think you can’t get more beautiful you do.” He smirks, eyeing you over. 

You chose to wear a silky and almost skin tight all black dress that stopped about mid thigh and had thin spaghetti straps. You blush at his compliment.

“Thank you. Um, do you mind helping me zip the rest of it up?” You say as you step closer and turn your back towards him.

“Not at all.” He says standing and helping you zip the rest of your dress up, knuckles brushing lightly against your skin as he does which sends shivers through your body.

“Thank you. Ready to go?” You ask and you walk over to the door to slip on your pair of heels. 

“Yup. Got your weapons just in case?” He asks as he pats his torso then back knowing his are secured in a  hidden pocket of his jacket and belt.  

You point to your purse where you had your weapons stowed away as they wouldn’t be hidden too well on your person right now.. “Yup. All set.”

“Alrighty, well then let’s goin’!” He says and you both step out to head to the club up the street.

You two walk into the club, Jack has his arm around your waist and leads you over to a free table where you both sit and take a look over of your location. So far no culprit or crew members to be seen. Hopefully they’ll show up eventually. 

“I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?” He asks.

“Um sure. A cocktail please. Anything.” You smile.

He nods and heads off to the bar, leaving you at the table. As you wait you see some of the crew members walk in. Recognizing them from the pictures. Two males and one female. Jack returns shortly with a margarita for you and a glass of his namesake for himself. 

“Jack, three arrived.” You nod your head towards them. The guys standing at the bar and the girl making her way to dance on the dance floor. “I’m going to try to talk to the girl. I’ll be back.” 

You down your drink in one sitting and make your way to the dance floor. This will surely bite you in the ass later but for now who cares. He watches as you make your way over and then focuses his attention back to the two men. You find your groove to the music and work your way over to the girl and start to strike up a conversation with her as you dance. 

“Hey! I like your moves.” You smile at her, starting off friendly. 

“Thanks, you got some good ones too. And your dress is very pretty.” She smiles back. “Not from around here are you?” “No. I’m here for the bridal convention with my fiancee.”  You nod your head over to Jack sitting at the table, sipping at his drink. 

As she turns her head to look in his direction, you quickly drop some poison provided to you and Whiskey both by the agency into her drink. She seems so nice and you hate to do it to her but she is working for the enemy and you need to weed them all out one by one no matter the means. 

“Well congrats girl.” She smiles back. “Welcome to town. Hope the planning is going well.”

“Thank you. What’s your name?” You ask, giving her yours.”

“I’m Nicole. Nice to meet you.” She smiles. 

“Are you from around here?” You ask and start to delve into a conversation with her, getting to know her, slowly picking her brain and getting some useful information out of her that she slips up on about the culprit and other crew members. 

Once you wrap up your conversation you make your way back over to Jack who has now moved himself over to the bar.

“Okay. Got some information out of her and dropped the poison in. Did you get any information from the guys?” You ask.

“Yup. We can compare notes when we get back to the room.” He says, sipping his new glass of whiskey the bartender hands him.

He slides another margarita over to you as well, having ordered one for you in your absence for when you return. You smile and nod in a way to thank him for it but as you start to sip on it you realize the mistake you made. You can already feel the last one you downed far too quickly hitting you, this one is surely to knock you off your feet. But, you shake it off and continue to sip on it as Jack does his.

“We can probably head out of here whenever you are ready. The poison will kick into them within an hour. No more action needed to be done to them and between the both of us we probably got more than enough information until we come across their boss or other crew members.” He says.

As he says this you really feel the alcohol kicking into your system. Your sensibility going out the door as the buzzed feeling takes over you. 

“Jack, I wanna dance.” You state.

“Okay? So then go dance. Ain’t nothing stoppin’ ya. I said we can leave whenever you want to. If you want to stay and dance some go for it.” He says.

“No. I wanna dance with you.” You say smiling at him.

“Well now I’m not much of a dancer darlin’. I ain’t got no rhythm.” 

You pout at him, and finish off the rest of your drink. You grab his hand and tug at him a bit, trying to get him to change his mind and budge off the stool. He sighs deeply and finally stands, giving into your needs.

“Fine fine. I’ll join ya. But don’t complain at how bad I am.” He chuckles, waving his hands at you.

You grab his hands and drag him to the dance floor, wrapping your arms around his neck and swaying to the music. He places his hands on your hips and sways with you as best as he can. He doesn’t have much rhythm but he’s not as bad as he made himself sound out to be. You two sway and dance to the music for a while until you start to feel sick. Man you knew you were a lightweight but you didn’t know it was this bad. How strong were those margaritas?! You stop dancing and look up at Jack.

“I feel sick. Can we go?” You pout.

“Certainly. Going to be okay to make it the short walk back?” He asks.

You make your way back to the hotel and as soon as you get back you crash onto the bed and pass out. Whatever was in the drink was strong and was killing your head. Taglist: @sarahjkl82-blog​ @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange​ @blackberries45​ @hailmary-yramliah​ @prideandpascal​ 

who is he (and what is he to you?) - ch. 1/3

words: 1,720

solangeloweek day 1: fathers day

read on ao3

Will Solace has never been nervous to travel. 

He used to go on vacations with his mom when they could afford it, although most of those were road trips. Then, when he got older and started working for the magazine company he currently works for, he was sent on all sorts of business trips. Will got used to traveling; used to flying and being in different places every couple of nights.

It’s less the plane ride that he’s nervous for and more the actual reason why he’s going. Yes, it is technically a business trip, but its a business trip to Texas and Will thinks he’s found his father. The one that walked out of their house when he was barely a year old and never looked back. The one that never sent birthday cards or went to Will’s graduation, who didn’t even attempt to contact Will once he was older. 

It was an accident, really, that he found his father. 

Of all things it was an ad on his Instagram feed that popped up, promoting a touring band called Apollo with lead singer Lester Papadopoulos. Seeing his father’s name not spoken from his mother for the first time was a bit of a shock.

The universe had a cruel sense of humor though, or so it seemed, as their gig in Austin, Texas lined up right as Will was headed there for a business trip slash unplanned reunion with his mom. 

The opportunity was at Will’s feet, practically begging him to finally find out what kind of man his father really is. Or more likely, have Will give him a piece of his mind.

“You good?” A voice from behind him came. His coworker and best friend Nico was also assigned this trip with him (like usual, and thank god for that). 

Nico bumps their shoulders together as the two of them board. “Usually I’m the one with plane anxiety.”

Will pushes back his thoughts and replaces them with a smile. “It’s not that. Can’t say I’m completely looking forward to three days of conferencing, though.”

“Tell me about it!” Nico groans, practically throwing back his head as the two of them settled in their seats, preparing for the four-hour flight from New York to Austin. “Last time we were stuck in one of those, I pretended to be taking so many notes but I was just doodling!”

Will laughs. “I remember that one. We played hangman at one point,” he reminds Nico, which just causes him to go onto retelling many stories about conference days. It was one of Nico’s ways of calming down before the plane took off, but also gave Will time to zone off again about his father.

He has the date, location, and time of the bar that Lester and his band were playing at just in case. The thought was burning in the back of his mind just like it had been ever since Will first saw the ad, and he imagines it wasn’t going to leave until Will just sucked it up and faced his deadbeat of a dad. 

“Is your mom still upset that we aren’t staying with her?” Nico asks, pulling Will from his thoughts once again. (Though not completely. Like he said, burning in the back of his mind.)

“I think right now she is, but once we take over her house during the day, demanding food and laundry, she’ll be glad to have the space to herself at night.”

“We are not demanding anything from your mother,” Nico replies indignantly.

“You might change your mind about that once you taste her cookies.”

They’re cut off as the engine begins to roar, and Nico squeezes his eyes shut, grabbing Will’s hand. Even after a few years of working together, he’s still scared of planes. He has the same reaction to every flight. 

Will had offered his hand on their second flight ever together, and every flight since then, to the point in which he just takes it when he feels they’re about to take off. It’s one of their weird business trip traditions.

Will notices an older man eyeing their hands from across the aisle, making him nearly roll his eyes at the guy. For one, they’re not even dating. And if they were, what was the big whoop? Were people still sensitive to two guys holding hands in this day and age? 

It didn’t matter, he supposes, because there was no way Nico was letting go until they reached a level relationship to the ground.

⁠—

Naomi Solace was waiting for them as soon as they got their bags. She had insisted that even while they weren’t staying with her for the trip, the least she could do was provide them some transportation so they wouldn’t have to rent a car.

Nico was visibly uncomfortable, Will could tell. He’s tried explaining multiple times that his mother is the last person to be afraid of as long as you don’t hurt Will or mention his father, neither of which Nico had done. It didn’t help to calm him down though. 

That worry seemed to melt the moment Naomi catches their eyes, immediately waving them over with the brightest smile on her face.

She hugs Will first, of course, who could feel relief spreading through his body when she wraps his arms around him. Even with all the crazy going on around them, it was comforting to know that his mom was there for him. (Not that she knew Will’s other reason for the trip, nor would she. It would crush her, and he can’t handle that right now.)

After she finally lets go of Will, she immediately goes to Nico. Will winces, cursing at himself internally that he hadn’t told his mom that Nico didn’t like to be touched without warning until he realized that he can’t even help but to relax into one of Naomi’s hugs.

The tension had completely dissolved by the time they got to the car, leaving Will to excitedly tell Nico all about the area that he had grown up in.

“Schlitterbahn!” he cries excitedly, causing Nico to give him a confused look.

“Bless you?” he says, more like a question than a statement, causing both Will and Naomi to laugh.

“Not a sneeze,” Will says giddily. “Just the best waterpark ever!”

Nico still looks confused (has he never been to a waterpark?) but he seems content with letting will rediscover his past. Will’s grateful for it, especially considering it takes his mind off his father.

It also makes Will realize something. Something huge, unknown to Nico, and only a select part of the southern experience. He turns to Nico with a near-crazed grin. “Have you ever had Whataburger?”

“Had a what-a-what?” 

“We have to take him there for dinner, mom!” Will’s voice is pitched higher than normal, dripping with pure childlike excitement. Next to him, Naomi’s smile was much more calm, only laughing at her son’s antics

 Meanwhile, Nico looks like he’s almost expecting Naomi to say know. Lord knows how many times Will has refused to go to McDonald’s with Nico for dinner on business trips. That changes as soon as Naomi takes a quick turn into a parking lot. 

Will nearly pulls Nico out of the car as she parks, dragging him towards the bright orange and white doors of the restaurant. 

“I know you’re a devoted McDonald’s fan, but at least give this a try,” he says, walking Nico up to the counter. “I think we might be able to change your mind.”

Once the three order their food, they sit down together at a booth. Will ends up sliding next to his mom rather than Nico, which is a force of habit after many restaurant trips spent sitting across from each other. 

Both Naomi and Will eagerly watched as Nico took the first bite of his burger. He chewed comically slow, making vague facial expressions before swallowing. He pauses, then decides “It’s alright.”

“Alright?” Will nearly yells, trying not to laugh through his words.

Nico’s face breaks out in a grin. “Okay, maybe it’s better than alright. I still think McDonald’s is my number one, though.”

Will rolls his eyes. “We need to get you some new taste buds.”

⁠—

Later, Will flops back happily on the hotel bed. He sighs contentedly as several joints in his back pop, savoring the feeling of resting for the first since they got off the plane. 

After dinner, they gave Nico a quick car tour of the city of Austin before Naomi dropped them off at the hotel they’re staying at. They’ll have plenty of time to explore the city tomorrow after some much needed rest. 

Will hears a soft laugh coming from next to him. He rolls to his side to face Nico, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed across from him as he bemusedly watches Will stretches.

“Comfortable?” Nico asks, grinning. Will’s taken aback for a moment by how soft his best friend looks at that moment in black sweatpants and a soft gray-green t-shirt. He’s actually very pretty, and for a moment Will wonders what it would be like to cuddle with him.

He shakes that thought away with a smile, dramatically stretching his arms above his head. “Very.”

Nico laughs again, uncrossing his legs and scooching up to the headboard of the bed. “Not quite like my bed at home-”

“But better than some of the others we’ve had,” Will finished, nodding. He mirrors Nico’s actions, sliding under the covers of his own bed and reaching to plug his phone in. He's not really that tired, but he doesn’t want to think about the day ahead of him tomorrow anymore.

“Hope you’re ready for some epic rounds of hangman tomorrow,” Nico says as Will reaches to turn off the lamp next to him. 

He grins in response. “It’s the highlight of these conferences.”

Nico rolls his eyes. “We need to stop agreeing to these trips.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he laughs. “Goodnight, Nico.”

“Goodnight, Will.”

He rolls over, facing away from Nico as he tries to force himself to fall asleep. His mind is still racing, though, overlapping thoughts about his mother and his father, and even Nico himself. 

All he could do was close his eyes until he fitfully fell asleep.

⁠—

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Save The Day || TABBY

WHO: Gabriela Dias & Travis Abrams

WHEN: August 26th

WHERE: Local Bar, Gabriela’s Off Campus Apartment 

DETAILS:  Gabriela picks up Travis from the bar and an interesting night ensues 

TRIGGERS/WARNINGS: Alcohol, Drinking 

Gabriela got up out of her bed when Travis told her that he wanted to be picked up. A soft smile grew on her lips just at the thought of knowing she was going to see him. It would be a lie if she said she didn't feel anything for him. Goodness for these last three years they have known each other he has had her blushing and swooning left and right. But letting him know that was a whole other story. It was just easier to be his friend and attempt to have flirty banter and hope maybe he meant what he said in return. She let out a sigh and nibbled on her bottom lip when she got to her car and headed to the bar. When she got out of her car she adjusted her shorts and hoodie she was wearing which she realized was actually Travis's from a couple times he stayed over before. A small smile spread on her lips as she walked in, when she saw Travis she walked up behind him and tapped softly on his shoulder, "Hey you."

Travis: placed his phone down and got one more beer before Vanessa had arrived. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t tell himself that he had a crush on the girl. It wasn’t something that he went around and told people. He would rather have a friendship with her then ruin anything. She was his go to and was always their for him when he needed her. As he was taking a sip he felt a light tap on his shoulder and smiled. “G’day, he smiled once again.

Gabriela felt her smile turn into a grin, letting her hand rub his shoulder softly. "There is that adorable accent I was looking forward to." She took a step closer to him so they could speak without having to listen over the other voices and music in the bar. "Are you ready to get some food and then get some sleep? My car is right outside." She said and let her other hand go and rest in the pocket of his hoodie that she was wearing.

Travis: “Stop laughing,” he mumbled with a small smile. Travis couldn’t help but smile when Gabby was around and honestly he just wished he knew how she did it. She was the one who could do that on the worst days but. Travis took the last gulp of his drink and stood next to the girl while placing his hands around her from the back. “You ready? I’m starving and well yeah?”

Gabriela couldn’t help but have her smile grow, “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. You are just too funny when you are drunk.” Watching his smile couldn’t help but make her stomach flutter with butterflies. But if she thought that made her heart skip a beat it sure did he placed his ha say around her. A happy hum escaped her lips without any thought and her cheeks quickly turned pink. “Mhm.” She said clearing her throat, before not being able to help but place her hands on top of his. Letting her fingers run along his skin, “I am very ready, Trav.” She instead took his hand and led him outside of the bar. Her cheeks still pink from the affection, “Did you have fun tonight.

Travis: “I am just excited football is starting and I have something to do on the weekends now that don’t involve working out,” he chuckled. Travis let his hands rub the girl’s shoulders and this was everything to him. Being this close to the girl and just being with her and only her. “I owe you for this. If you get drunk I’ll take you home and take you to get food because you didn’t have to do this at all. You’re amaizng though. Really amaizng.”

Gabriela looked over at him, “Well you know you can always come to my place too and watch it. Take advantage of the off campus apartment now that I have it.” Her eyes couldn’t help but flutter when he rubbed her shoulders. Her hands still rested on top of his, making her wonder if he felt the same little sparks that she did. “It’s fine I promise, besides I like spending time with you. Even though you have had a few drinks, makes things more amusing.” She turned towards him when they got to their car. Her cheeks turning a deeper red, “Really amazing, huh?”

Travis: “Super amazing,” he smiled and opened her door. “I know I can come to your place, but I feel like you would get super annoyed with me after a while. You’ve seen me drunk and you’ve picked me up a couple times, but I’m sure it would get annoying after a while. And off campus? I might have to move in with you so I can have have my own workouts and not annoy whatever roommate I have. How did you get so lucky,” he smiled.”

Gabriela ducked her head down for a moment her smile growing, “Thank you...” She said softly to him, before catching a glance at him before getting in the car. “Annoyed with you?” She shook her head once he got in the car, “I am pretty sure that is impossible. Like I said I really enjoy your company, more than you know.” She said with a growing smile. Gabriela started to drive towards her apartment which was luckily not that far away. “Yes, off campus. I am very lucky that’s for sure, my parents got it for me as a present and knew that it would be easier than paying for dorms.” She glanced over at him, “Move in, hug? Now I think it’s time for me to say you might get annoyed or sick of me. But I honestly wouldn’t mind it...you know especially if you really want to.” She said honestly thinking of how great it would be to be around him every day.

Travis: couldn’t help but smile whenever she spoke. There was something about her that he could not ignore. She was so beautiful and he couldn’t deny any feelings, but why would she ever fall for a guy like him? “As fun as that sounds though I don’t think I would show up to practice if I lived off campus. I’m already late because I enjoy my sleep way too much,” he chuckled and turned towards her with an even bigger smile. “I already told you I wouldn’t get annoyed though. I’ve told you this so many times, Gabby.”

Gabriela shook her head, “Or it could be the opposite, if you lived with me I could be your own personal alarm and make sure you get up. I can put the guest room to good use. My parents said they wanted it for when they visit but they aren’t going to be here all the time.” She explained her fingers tapping the wheel as she drove. She felt his eyes on her and she swore the blush on her cheeks was going to become permanent. “But that still doesn’t change the fact that you could. And I wouldn’t blame you, I am sure there are a lot of people who would love time with you too.” She said softly glancing over at him for a moment when they got to a red light.

Travis: “You are right, but do you want to wake up in the morning?” Travis chuckled and just shook his head at the girl. All the thoughts of living with Gabriela hit him and another smile formed. He would be able to see her everyday and in every single mood that she had. Her happy, sad, sick and he would have his best friend with him all the time. “You’re not lying but I wouldn’t mind being with one person all the time. Sometimes you just need that person.”

Gabriela felt her smile grow when she heard his laugh as she pulled up to whataburger and parked. When she did she glanced over at him. “I wake up early anyways to work out myself and also just for habit so it wouldn’t be any bother.” She said and searched his eyes at what he said, “That one person, huh?” She looked down at her hands and fiddled with them. “Yeah it is kind of great to have that one person you really want to spend your time with.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes, “Do you think you have met that kind of a person yet? Someone you could spend a lot of time with?”

Travis: “Oh yeah?” Travis couldn’t help but smile again at her. “I never took you as the type to wake up early and do workouts,” he teased and pushed her hair back. “Yeah, that one person. I want to make sure I find that one person though because I don’t want to put so much time into one person and then have them break my heart or whatever,” he sighed. “I mean I might have but I don’t know. School just started so maybe I’ll find that college sweetheart that people talk about so much.”

Gabriela nodded at him, “Well I do love my sleep too but I am a sucker for routine. Plus it is nice to stay healthy for performing, it takes a lot of energy to be performing and rehearsing.” She watched as he moved her hair that she didn’t even notice fell onto her face. “Any person who takes your time and breaks your heart would be crazy...to lose out on someone as amazing as you?” She shook her head and looked back down at her hands. “Anyone who can get you should for sure hold on tight and never let go.” A soft smile grew on her lips, “A college sweetheart huh? I like the sound of that. But until then at least we have each other right? I want to get as much time as I can until some inevitably steals you away.”

Travis: “See I love my sleep, but I also want to make sure I get a workout in or my day is off. It’s a hard life.” Travis let a jokingly sigh out and laughed as he did it. “Yeah, well some girls like a new thing and it’s fine with me because I really need to focus on my career and playing football. I wanna make sure that I am the best I can be. Make a good life for myself and whoever is in my life.” The boy nodded his head and just continued to smile and the girl when she spoke. “I’ll keep you around until someone steals you away from.”

Gabriela nodded as he said he wanted to focus on his career and himself, “I totally understand that, my career means the world to me too. And it isn’t often you can find someone to not only help with making you better but also understand your passion. It is like finding a needle in a haystack.” She shook her head softly, “But whoever keeps you around will be so, so lucky.” When she looked up and saw his smile hers grew. “Well if it makes you feel better I would never let anyone totally steal me away from you. You are pretty much stuck with me.” She said teasingly but also really meant it, she just hoped he could see it in her eyes. She moved to place her hand over his, “Now how about some food. Do you want to just order it and head back to my place or eat here?”

Travis: “I definitely can’t wait to graduate and hopefully play in the NFL. But you’re right. It’s hard to find someone who has such a passion for something andto understand how hard you have to work to reach that goal. It’s great to have a friend who understands that,” he smiled. “I would say the same for you. Anyone who has younin their life is gonna be only lucky guy. One really lucky guy,” he smiled. Travis couldn’t help but stare at her and even in his drunk state she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. From day one he had always had a crush on her. “I’ll be stuck with you for as long as you let me, but I’m starving so let’s get some food and head back to your place.”

Gabriela raised her eyebrow at him, “Hopefully? You know that is a guarantee. I don’t really understand sports but I know you are great at what you do.” She nodded softly when he said friend, worried that it meant that friend was all they needed. But she saw how his eyes lingered on her, and she couldn’t help but blush under his stare. Of course her mind wandered, but she always fell back to the point that he had a few drinks not that long ago. “I hope you are ready for forever then.” She said and poked his nose teasingly before getting out of the car. Not even noticing her shorts riding up until she adjusted them. “Then food it is, come on handsome. Let’s get our food, but you may need to help me pick since I can never narrow things down.” When she got out of her car she made her way over to his side. Not being able to help but hope that his affections from earlier would still be there. She still felt where his hands were resting on her shoulders from earlier.

Travis: “Not always, but I’m not gonna give up,” he smiled. “That’s why I moved to the states so I could play football down here and actually get noticed. I wouldn’t say living down here was bad though. I met a lot of people who I’m really thankful to have in my life,” he smiled. Travis let a chuckle out as she poked his nose and followed her out of the car. His arm wrapped around her shoulder as they walked to the entrance of the building. “You can never go wrong with chicken but I’m not gonna pick that if you don’t want that. I already know what I’m gonna get and I’m gonna hate myself so much for it.”

Gabriela smiled softly, “And I am awfully glad you moved here too, college would not be as wonderful without you.” And it was true, they had so many great memories and she knew she would never forget them. When he wrapped his arm around her shoulders she leaned into his touch. “That is true and I always end up loving it. You know me so well.” She said looking up at him with a smile when they made their way in the buildings

Gabriela rose her eyebrow. “Hate yourself? Not allowed when I am around. Maybe it just means it will help you more with your hangover. Just think of it that way.”

Travis: “You would have met someone. Not as cool as me, but somewhat cool,” he smiled and let his hand that was wrapped around her rub her shoulder up and down. “So true, but still. Whataburger isn’t the best food to eat, but this is why they are open all day. For people who can’t control their drinking,” he smiled. “Do you know what you want though or do I have to pick it out?”

Gabriela let out a giggle, “Of course, totally not as cool as you. And probably wouldn’t tell the best jokes and have an adorable accent.” She added on, her smile growing when he started to rub her shoulder. When they stopped in line she couldn’t help but rest her head against the spot between his chest and shoulder. “Well exactly and for that reason it isn’t too shabby.” She glanced at the menu and hummed softly. “No, no...I’ll get the chicken sandwich and a chocolate milkshake. I can never not get the milkshake.” She said and glanced up at him with a smile.

Travis: “I’m the coolest,” he smiled and looked down at her. His grin growing in size as she spoke about some of his features. “Well my jokes are pretty cool.” Travis continued to let his hand rest on her arm as they stood in line. His head rested on hers as they looked at the menu and he tried to decide what he wanted to eat. “I’ll probably get like three burgers. I’m so hungry.”

Gabriela let her hand move to rest on top of his, her fingers tracing small shapes. Unknowingly they probably looked like a couple but for some reason they always found a chance to be close to each other. She knew why she loved it but she always wondered how she got so lucky. “Pretty amazing, especially the hopeful smile you give after you tell them.” When his head rested on her she felt a smile grow on her lips. “Three burgers? How do you eat that much and stil always look amazing?” She let slip out but then quickly tried to cover her tracks. “But I am sure it will suck up all the alcohol and make you feel better in the morning. So it may all be worth it. And you could even save one for tomorrow too. But I am sure I could also show you my cooking talents too.”

Travis: knew that they were closer then a lot of people should be to their friends but he didn’t mind. He had a huge crush on her since they met but he never wanted to ruin what they had so he kind of just kept it a secret. It was more of a cautionary thing that he had to put between the both of them. His hand wrapped around her waist tighter as they walked up and a smile formed on his face as he looked at her and ordered. “Well I work out a lot,” he smiled after ordering their food to go and walked to a table. “I’m hoping I don’t feel like death.”

Gabriela felt like it was almost habit when she cuddled up against him when his arm moved to her waist and held her closer. Her eyes wandering up to meet his when she saw his smile, it was almost like in that instant she knew that he was feeling what she was. But instead she knew she had to shake it off, maybe he was just being nice or maybe the drinks he had made him feel different things. "Oh? Just that? Seems so simple. Are you sure you aren't some super human or god?" Gabriela said with a small smirk on her lips, her hand still lingering on his when they parted to sit down. "Well if you do, don't worry you can stay at my place for as long as you need."

Travis: “As fun as that sounds I gotta go back to my dorm eventually so coach doesn’t think I’m missing,” he smiled and and kept all eye focus on her. She had this weird effect on him and he was in love with everything about it. She made him feel a way he never felt and never wanted to leave. “I’ll stay over sometimes,” he chuckled and leaned against the table so he could get a better look at her as they sat there waiting for their food.

Gabriela let her smile grow when his eyes rested on her, "Well I don't think he will be looking for you on a Sunday. Seriously you can stay and rest if you want to then go back Sunday night. At least get some rest without all the ruckus. That and the king bed I have would be very comfortable and nice for recovering from a hangover." She said, partially just wanting to help him feel better but also because she would take any chance to spend time with him. When he leaned against the table she couldn't help but mimic his actions. Her hands brushing against his causing her stomach to flutter again. "Good, I am already looking forward to it. You are amazing company."

Travis: “A kind size bed is better then a twin size,” he laugh and leaned in closer just wanting to be in the same area. His heart feeling it was gonna jump out of his chest with how beautiful she was. “I might take you up on that though, but I can sleep on your couch,” he mumbled as he got closer to her. His bottom teeth resting on his lips. “But that’s up to you,” he mumbled moving closer until their number was called.

Gabriela felt her heart beating out of her chest when he kept on leaning closer to her, she stayed still as he moved closer to her. Her fingers moved to brush over his hands. Almost tempted to take them and pull him that little bit closer and close that distance between them. "I don't bite, I promise...but if you don't want to I understand..." Her eyes couldn't help but wander down to his lips for a moment, knowing he probably noticed it. "Up to me? Well I honestly wouldn't mind the company...the big bed is pretty lonely..." She said innocently suddenly letting any fear of flirting with him fly out the window. But that was quickly interupted when their number was called. Her hand moving to rest on top of his almost not wanting the moment to end.

Travis: let a sigh out as he heard their number be called and he pulled away as fast as he could to get. “Thanks,” he smiled before walking back to Gabby. “You ready?” Travis held his hand out and help d her up from her seat so they could head to her place and finally she at this food so he could pass out on her couch or floor.

Gabriela swore that moment just took her breath away, when he parted she took a moment to let a deep breath leave her lips. Having him that close...she could really get use to that. His voice snapped her back into reality, and then she looked back at him. "Yea...yeah. I'm ready." She said her voice shuddered slightly then she stood up and took his hand and led them back to her car. "Well good thing is that this place is close to the college and the apartments. You are so much closer to getting some food and rest." She squeezed his hand softly as she started the car.

Travis: “That’s all I want,” he smiled. “I’m hungry and ready to pretty much pass out until I have to go to class so try not to wake me up,” he chuckled at her and gently squeezed her hand right back with a smile on his face. “Put the office on and I’ll call it a night at this point. I don’t know why I drink.”

Gabriela nodded and started to make her way back to her apartment, "Don't worry I won't wake you up. If you wake up from anything it will be from the smell of me making you some late breakfast for lunch or whenever you want to wake up." She squeezed his hand back as she drove. "Well you can make sure to eat some food first and even take a shower if you want then you can focus on sleeping." Finally they made their way to her place and she let out a sigh as she parked. "And we're here."

Travis: “Mmm I do love breakfast and lunch,” he smiled and looked at her with a huge grin on his face. “And a shower sounds amaizng, but I don’t think I have any clothes at your house so I hope you don’t mind me shirtless and washing these clothes.” The boy grabbed the bag of food and just stared at her. “You ready to go inside?”

Gabriela nodded, "I know you do, that is why I plan on making it for you. Show off my cooking talent while I am at it." When she saw his big grin her smile grew. "Well you have this hoodie...but I may or may not let go of it easily. It is too comfy." She said and turned to face towards him. She raised her eyebrow though when he talked about being shirtless and nodded softly, "I don't think that would be a big deal...I mean I wouldn't complain." She added on softly her cheeks turning pick but she shook her head, "Yeah...yes. Inside sounds good to me.' Gabriela moved so she could get out of the dar and let out a sigh. When they were both out of the car she locked it and led him up to her apartment.

Travis: “Fine fine keep my hoodie, but just remember that’s the only one you are getting,” he laughed and grabbed her keys when they got up to her apartment. “You wanna Uhm get that set up and I’ll go take a shower real quick? I feel super gross.”

Gabriela grinned and couldn't help but jump and hug his arm. "Thank you!" She said with a sing songy voice, "You are just the best." Not being able to help but smile when she heard his laugh. She let him open up the door and let him go in first. "Of course, that sounds perfect to me. I will get the table all set up for us. When you go down that hallway at the end is my room and there is a bathroom there and also one next to the guest bathroom. So whichever you want to do." She said as she went to the table and sat the food down.

Travis: “So same place it’s always been,” he chuckled and took a fry from the bag before heading to the bathroom and shutting the door. He just was hoping that nothing was going to happen tonight. He didn’t want to ruin the friendship that they had over some little crush. She might not even be into him that way. Travis took his clothes off as he let the water run and jumped in the shower just hoping he could fall asleep faster and try to ignore the feelings he had.

Gabriela stuck her tongue out at him but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Haha, funny." She added as she watched him walk down the hallway. When she heard the door close she started to set things out for them. Getting them napkins and some water if they wanted it. She also grabbed Travis a gatorade and advil to help if a headache was starting to come on. When she was done she sat down at the table and started sipping on the milk shake and hummed happily.

Travis: let the water hit his body and he felt all his muscles relax as he stood in the shower. Being in Gabby’s place made him just want to have this everyday, but his friendship meant so much to him and he couldn’t lose her. About ten minutes later Travis stepped out of the shower with just a towel over his waist and he stepped out of the bathroom then back into the living room. “That food still better be hot,” he smiled and looked at Gabby.

Gabriela stood up after a couple minutes passed and realized that the food may be cooling down. So instead she sat the milkshake down and turned on the oven so she could at least keep the food warm. She leaned against the counter and drank more of her milkshake, off in her own dreamworld just thinking of how great she feels to have the chance to spend more time with Travis. She snapped back to reality when she heard his voice and saw him in just the towel, she tried not to let her eyes linger to long but she met his eyes. Taking a hopefully quiet deep voice and nodded, "The food yeah." She nodded towards the oven. "I put it in the oven to keep it warm. I had a feeling you would want it hot." Gabriela bent down to get the food out of the oven, closing the oven door behind. "All ready and warm." She said setting the food on the table. "Anything else you want to have with it?"

Travis: “I can’t eat cold food. I will cry,” he smiled and leaned against the counter. “Look at you being an adult. Making sure you keep daddy’s food warm,” he laughed. “Don’t call me daddy though. That’s a weird thing.” Travis opened the oven door and grabbed some oven mitts on before grabbing the food and taking a bite from his burger. “Jesus I was so freaking hungry,” he mumbled.

Gabriela raised her eyebrow at what he said, her arms crossing over her chest. "Mhm what can I say I can be a good girl on occasion." She added on to the teasing. Her smirk growing at what he said, "I don't know I might have to think you like it if you brought it up. I'll have to keep that on the list of things I have learned about you after you had some drinks." When he took the food out she grabbed her sandwich and took a bite of her food. Her eyes still not able to help but steal glances at him. "Well I am glad we got food then. Because if not you may have totally withered away."

Travis: “I would have died and I would have shriveled up to nothing.” A chuckle left his lips and he looked at her and just smiled at her eating. She was beautiful and she was everything he wanted and more. The whole package and he would do anything for her and to keep her in his life. “Yeah? Can you be a good girl. Well I still have some beer in your fridge we can drink a little more and learn some secrets about each other.”

Gabriela couldn't help but let out a chuckle herself, "Well we just can't have that can we? Not on my watch at least." She continued to eat her sandwich and when she looked up at him she met his eyes, feeling the blush on her cheeks again. "Hmm I might be able to, but I may need some convincing to continue being good." She said, not being able to help but really enjoy this banter. She sat the plate and the sandwich on the counter and took a step closer to him. "But learn secrets huh? Are you sure you want to drink some more for that? It won't make you too sick in the morning?"

Travis: “Nope. I will be fine,” he smiled and stepped closer to her. “We drink and we just talk. I’ll even let the accent come out,” he smirked. “I can also convince you to do so much with being good and vise verse, but I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning. So what do you say?”

Gabriela nibbled on her bottom lip when he stepped closer to her, surprised he followed her lead and got closer to her. It did not help the seeds of curiosity that she was starting to plant in her mind. "Even the accent? Hmm...you know I can't say no to that." She said letting one of her hands rest on the counter and move closer to his. "Oh? Well I am curious what this convincing includes. Do I get to know?" She asked innocently, her eyes resting on his smirk before meeting his eyes again letting out a sigh. "Sure, sure. I don't see why not."

Travis: “Of course. Well once you get some drinks in you and I get a couple more in me,” he smirked. “We can get some drinks in us and we can just talk and learn about whatever we need to learn about. I don’t think we need to know much though since we’ll we have known each other for so long. So what do you say though? You wanna get a good buzz and do whatever.” Travis moved even closer to the girl and let his fingers trace her skin.

Gabriela just nodded at him, listening to his words and her eyes stealing glances at his bare chest and his smirk. "Well there can always be new things to learn right? There has to be some things we don't know about each other..." She rambled just getting lost in him and his eyes. "Sure...as long as you are sure this is what you want to do...I know you wanted to get some rest." Gabriela said even though she shuffled closer to him when she felt his fingers on her skin. Her eyes moving to watch the contact, her breath not being able to help but shudder softly.

Travis: “As long as I’m with you I don’t care what I do. You’re one of my best friends and mean the world to me.” Travis slowly moved away from the girl and walked over to her fridge to grab a couple of drinks from the fridge. “Here you go,” he said as he handed her the bottle.

Gabriela suddenly felt bashful when he said she meant the world to him, she ducked her head down for a moment as he moved away. "The world, huh? That is quite a lot for little ol' me." She said but honestly she wondered how much he meant the best friend part, with nights like these with him she couldn't help but wonder if there really was something more. But Gabriela was snapped back into reality when he spoke, "Oh yeah, thank you." She said grabbing the bottle opener for them so they can get everything opened up. And when she did she took a couple sips.

Travis: “The whole world,” he smiled. Travis wasn’t sure what they were or what any of this meant now. They were so close but still felt so far and he wasn’t going to embarrass himself if she didn’t feel the same way. “We buzz and we just talk. I might learn some new things about you I never knew. Maybe so leverage over you,” he chuckled as he started to drink.

Gabriela took a few more sips of her drink and tried to give herself at least a little buzz. She tapped the bottle with her nails as she took a step closer to him again. Partially curious if he would get closer to her again, and also because she would hope drinking a little would give her more confidence around him. "More leverage huh? So that is what this is about." She scrunched her nose up at him before a smile cracked on her lips, "Well tell me what do you want to know, Travikins." She asked innocently, knowing the reaction she would get from him each time she used that nickname.

Travis: “Travikins? I haven’t heard that in forever.” Another grin formed as he took another sip of his drink and continued to stare. “I would say yes, but nah. I just want to know more. We have been here for three years and well yeah.” His fingers trailed down her fingers as he took another sip and just smiled.

Gabriela hummed it response as she drank some more, when she was done she met her eyes again. "Mhm it has been a minute, but my goodness the grin that you give when I call you it is just as adorable." She let her hand rest on his arm and let her fingers run down to his elbow and moved back to the counter. "Know more...I think we can do that and why not. We might as well learn more if we are going to be stuck with each other forever, huh?" She said smiling when she felt his fingers on her skin. "Now is there anything you want to know in particular?"

Travis: “If we are gonna be stuck with each other forever we better start a pact. If we aren’t married my twenty seven then we marry each other. Is that a deal?” Travis continued to let his fingers run down her skin as she spoke. “Hmm I don’t know. I mean I know a lot, but when was your last kiss?” The boy adjusted his towel and grabbed two more drinks out of the fridge as his gaze focused on the girl.

Gabriela felt goosebumps grow across her skin where his fingers wandered. Another soft breath leaving her lips as her eyes moved between his eyes and his lips. She nodded, “Yeah, I really like the sound of that. Getting to see this handsome face everyday? That is totally a deal.” She said and had a burst of confidence when she let his fingers run along his jawline. A hum left her lips when he parted to get more drinks for them. Not even noticing that she drank through the bottle she had, “Uhm...well I have had kisses for theatre but my last actual kiss has probably been about a year ago...” She said because so far Travis is the only one she thinks of that way. “And you?”

Travis: “Yeah?” He smiles and leaned across the counter as he took a hand he gulp of his bottle. His mind was in a drunk state now and he probably wouldn’t remember much, but honestly he wasn’t sure if this was good or bad. In this time now everything seems like a good idea, but in the morning when he wakes up sober it may not be. “A year ago? I don’t believe that. You’re way too pretty to wait that long. Are you sure you’re not lying,” he smiled and his smirk grow bigger. “The beginning of the summer when I went home for a month. It wasn’t too special though.”

Gabriela smiled and looked down and their hands when he took hers. “Mhm. Now that I think of it I can’t think of anyone else who I could handle forever with.” She said honestly, not even realizing what kind of hints she was dropping. She took another drink in hopes her nerves would calm down. She shook her head, “Nope not lying...I just haven’t found anyone I want to spend my time with that way. You know if that makes any sense. It is hard when you kind of have your eyes set on someone in particular.” She said this and didn’t even realize how she made sure to meet his eyes. But she nodded softly kind of curious what the girl was like that he kissed, “Nothing too special, huh? Well that is a real pity. You deserve a lot more than just not too special.” She said and squeezed his hand softly.

Travis: kept his eyes on Vanessa and just smiled at her. He couldn’t believe what was going on and with drinks in his system it made it so much easier to talk to her. He didn’t get tounge tied around her like he would sober. “That’s crazy. You’re super pretty and I’m sure any guy would be lucky to have you on their arm and have all that time in the world with you.” With her looking right at him it causes him to take another chug on his drink and grab another one because of the nerves he was feeling. “It’s just gonna take time.”

Gabriela felt a blush creep onto her cheeks, “Your just saying that, because you are my best friend. You are pretty much required to.” She brought her hand back and started fiddling with her fingers. “Besides lucky or not they would never compare to the person I have my eyes on.” She watched as he chugged his drink when she locked eyes with him. “Well it just makes you wonder when the right time is...when will we get that chance to really be with that special person...” She said softly and she was honestly curious about it. But as she watched him get a drink she finished off most of the bottle that she had.

Travis: “Well yes and no. It is true though. Any guy who has you better treat you right though or I will murder them.” Travis watched as gabby played with her finger, knowing it was something she did when she was nervous about something. “Well that guy or girl is one lucky person and I want to get to know them before you guys start dating. Know if they are right for you.” Travis leaned against the counter and felt the alcohol hit his system even more as he got closer and closer to her. “The right time will be when you both know it’s ready. It’ll take time.”

Gabriela raised her eyebrow and couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I know you would...but if things work out I don’t think you have to worry about how they will treat me. They are a really amazing person.” She said knowing she was looking right at the person she was talking about. “Well I think you know then pretty well if I am being honest.” She said her eyes moving to lock to his, not being able to help but wonder if he was catching on. She felt her buzz floating through her and her body relaxing. “Well how much time do you think it could take? Because it is getting really hard to wait and not just kiss this person...” she said softly as she leaned closer to him. Her eyes not being able to help but rest on his lips for a moment, probably lingering longer than they should have.

Travis: “Yeah? Well I don’t want them completely taking my best friend from me so I need a little bit of time. If things work out though I’ll be happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I hope you have it all.” Travis didn’t want to runin the closeness they had. “Do I? Well then if I know them I know they will treat you well though. I want you to have the greatest life you could have.” Travis moved closer and closer to her. He could feel his heart racing the closer he got to her face. “Well I’m gonna steal one before this guy does.” Travis leaned in and let his lips fall on hers softly.

Gabriela listened to him, shaking her head when she felt like he really thought there was someone else. Her heart felt slightly until he got close to her. “I don’t think you will have to worry about them taking me away from you. I don’t think it is even possible...I think if anything it could bring us closer.” She said honestly just hoping he would catch the hint. “I know I will...especially because I am holding you to that pact. Hopefully no one else snatches you up before then.” She said honestly not even wanting to hide it anymore. But knew they may not remember it tomorrow. When he kissed her she felt herself freeze for a moment, feeling the sparks and fireworks. But she quickly kissed him back, moving her lips against his. Her hand moving to rest on his neck, her fingers playing with his hair. To be honest she didn’t want this moment to end any time soon.

Travis: wasn’t sure what any of this meant. They both were drinking a little bit and they probably won’t remember or even talk about it the next day. The boy moved from across the counter to in front of her. His hands moving down to her waist and picking her up off of the floor so her legs were wrapped around him. His left hand was grasping her ass and his other hand was running up and down her spine as he carried her over into her room.

Gabriela let her eyes wander him when he came around the counter to her. A soft gasp leaving her lip when he picked her up, her legs wrapping around him almost immediately. Her lips moved so she could press kisses from the corner of his mouth to his jawline. A whimper fell from her lips when he grabbed her ass, causing her lips to move against him. She was overwhelmed with emotions and feeling and the buzz floating through her. She had no idea what this meant for them or what it was but all she knew was in that moment she just wanted to kiss him and be close to him. Her fingers still tangled in his hair when he led them to her room.

Travis: laid her on the bed as his lips stayed on hers. He wasn’t sure what this meant but he didn’t care right now. He just wanted to be with her and he always had. Even if they did nothing more then this he didn’t mind because this was all he wanted, well maybe more but again he didn’t care. Travis hovered over her body as his hands moved up and down her waist. His lips moving from her lips to her neck as he felt his heart beat out of his chest.

Gabriela slowly moved her lips back up to his before he laid her back on the bed. She didn’t know what this all meant but it didn’t change how much she was enjoying this. Gabriela let her hands run up his sides and feel the muscles she always gazed at. A light sigh left her lips when he started kissing her neck. Tilting her head for him to give him more room to work with. “Trav...” She muttered softly, as her fingers tangled in his hair to keep him close to her.

Travis: “Hmm,” he mumbled. His lips still traveling around her neck. He wasn’t sure what was gonna happen tonight or where this was gonna take them, but right now he didn’t care. He was with his best friend, the girl he loved the minute he met her. “What do you want me to do,” he mumbled.

Gabriela tugged softly on his hair, “You are going to drive me crazy in the best way, Travikins.” She said softly, small sighs and whimpers we’re leaving her lips. “I want...” She started to say when a soft moan fall from her lips when he found a spot that she didn’t even know she had. A spot that made her melt to even more of a puddle. Her hand on his shoulder squeezed softly, “You can leave a mark if you want...”

Travis: nodded and let his teeth sink into her neck. He wasn’t one to leave marks where people could see them but he didn’t care. Right now his mind was way too cloudy to even think about what they were doing. His body pressed into hers as a continued to let his teeth sink into her neck and a soft groan left his Lips

Gabriela felt another moan fall from her lips when she felt his teeth on he next. “Trav...” Now that they were in this position she didn’t know how she went so long without him. All she could do was hope that this wasn’t a one time thing. When he pressed his hips against her she moaned moving her leg to wrap around him.

Travis: let his body grind against hers, but with the towel it made it so much harder to even do anything. His hands pulled the towel up against his body so nothing else was showing. “Shit,” he mumbled. “That’s really gonna leave a mark,” he whispered into the crook of her neck and began leaving small kisses.”

Gabriela whimpered and let her eyes flutter when he grinder against her. Only making her wonder even more how they have gone so long without this. “It’s okay, Travikins...” she moved her finger under his chin so she could bring her lips to his once more. Taking a chance to leave a kiss and nibble on his lower lip. “I wanted you too... for a way to remember tonight...” she mumbled against his lips before taking her turn to start kissing his neck.

Travis: let his hand run up and down her spine as he felt her lips on his neck. His adrenaline kicking into over drive as each kiss was placed on the side of his neck. He could help himself anymore and had to do this. Travis slowly slid her pants down but as he was about to get them off he heard his phone go off and a sigh escaped his lips. “Fuck. I gotta get this. It might be someone asking if I got home,” he mumbled and got up from the bed.

Gabriela started to nibble on his skin and then leave a mark on his collarbone. Hoping he would enjoy the reminder too, just like how she knew she would. Even it was really going to leave a mark like he said. She lifted her hips and moved her legs so he could get her out of her shorts. And with that she pulled off the hoodie too, leaving her in a black lace bra and underwear. When the phone rang and he parted a whimper left her lips. “Do you have to?” She mumbled against his neck starting to leave another mark. But when he got out of the bed she moved to sit up a little. Watching as he walked out of the room, helping her suddenly realize how tired she was. Something that always happened after she drank.

Travis: “Hey, what’s up?” Travis sighed and shook his head as he heard his buddies in the back yelling. “Yeah no im food. I had someone pick me up, but I’m gonna have to pass on the practice in the morning. I actually wanna sleep but I’ll be there at night.” Travis was so close to being able to be with Vanessa and of course something had to ruin it again. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he sighed.

Gabriela heard Travis sigh as he spoke to his friends, she moved so she could lay under the covers of her bed but still leaving enough open so her bra could be seen. She was fiddling with her hands and waited for him to come back. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was just as frustrated that their moment got interrupted. They were so close to going that extra step together and maybe that much closer to maybe crossing that line.

Travis: “I’ll explain tomorrow,” he mumbled and hung the phone up. “Sorry.” His voice was soft as he headed back to the bedroom and laid down in the bed next to her. “They didn’t know where I went and I don’t want to say they were worried. They wanted to know everything,” he laughed. “Do you just wanna watch tv and go to bed or at least try?”

Gabriela patted the spot next to her when she heard his voice, "It is okay...I promise." When he laid down next to her she couldn't help but scoot closer to him. Wondering if after their interaction if he would still want to be close to her still or if he had a snap back to reality and realized he didn't mean to have what happened, happened. "That is fair, they are your friends they should be worried about you." She nodded at what he said, "Yeah...yeah tv that would be wonderful." She glanced over at him and met his eyes, a soft smile on her lips. Letting her head rest on his shoulder then turned on the tv.

I’ve been having a bad couple of months so will you please please please give me some plance fluff??

A/N: I’m so sorry to hear that :( I hope things look up these next few days, and I hope this little something makes you feel a bit better! note: this takes place in my basketball-verse, so consider it a part 2.5, or something :)

The kazoo was a mistake.

Lance is on his second rendition of Auld Lang Syne when Pidge shoots Hunk the Look.  The Look says: this is as much your fault as it is mine.  The drive from Phoenix to Albuquerque had been long, and when her boyfriend waltzed down the aisle of the gas station clutching a bag of Lifesaver gummies and that dreaded plastic purple pipe to his chest, Pidge hadn’t had the heart to say no.  Neither could Hunk deny his best friend, so Lance had gone ahead and bought it, and it had been fine, really.  It had even been amusing, for the first thirty minutes.  

But now they’re at Lance’s house, well into a round of B.S., and this needs to stop.

Pidge knows why Lance is doing this.  He’s been shooting puppy-eyes at her ever since she kicked him to the other side of the circle.  Meanwhile, next to him, Shiro lies on his side, resting on his right elbow, cards in his left hand. Keith is using Shiro’s legs as a pillow as he frowns at his own cards.  Lance, in turn, frowns at the two of them, then looks at Pidge.  His look says: see how couple-y they’re being?  Why can’t I use your lap?

Because, Pidge communicates with a glare.  She wants to win this game, and she can’t do that when Lance is draping himself all over her, trying to peek at her cards.  The saddest part of it all is that Lance doesn’t even do it to cheat; he just likes knowing what she has so he can gloat on her behalf.  But it’s bad, because Pidge is 90% sure that’s how she lost their earlier game of poker. Everyone in this room has their tells. Keith’s voice tends to get more flat when he lies. Allura speaks slightly louder. Shiro smiles less, and Hunk talks faster. Pidge’s only tell?  Lance.

“Boo,” Lance says—except he doesn’t say it so much as blow it through his kazoo.

“Two sixes.” Allura throws down.

There’s a pause.  And then Lance lowers the kazoo from his mouth and points at Allura with his thumb and index finger.

“B.S.”

“Take it all,” gloats Allura, flipping over her cards.  Lance groans.

The game progresses.  Seven, eight, nine—and then Keith leans forward, sliding across the carpet “two tens.”

Furiously, Lance begins shuffling through the deck he’s amassed.  When he gets to the end of the pile, his shoulders slump in defeat.

Allura taps the three cards she has left against her bottom lip.  She won’t stick her neck out to challenge Keith, not when she’s so close to the finish.  Hunk doesn’t call B.S. very often either, though he’s always the loudest exclaimer when someone turns out to have been lying (“I told you guys!”).

Pidge had been attempting to count cards earlier, but Lance’s obnoxious kazoo playing derailed her attention and now she’s not 100% sure if she should go out on a limb and question Keith. She can tell that Lance wants to call it, but he also doesn’t want to suffer another loss.  Which leaves—

“Shiro,” whines Lance, nudging Shiro’s foot.  “He’s lying.  Call B.S.”    

“Should I?” Shiro contemplates, turning his head to scrutinize Keith.  Keith meets it dead-on, arching an eyebrow.  The exchange drags on for a solid minute, long enough to make everyone else start clearing their throats.    

“Stop having eye sex—god!” Lance finally breaks.  “Keith, you can’t just… seduce your boyfriend into always being on your side.  And Shiro, man, come on.”

“You’re just mad because Pidge won’t let you cuddle,” Keith says.

Lance scoffs.  “That’s what you think.  We’re just waiting for you all to leave, and then we are going to cuddle so hard—”

“Lance!” Pidge grabs a nearby pillow and throws it at his head, her cheeks burning.  It’s not that she’s embarrassed, exactly.  They’ve been dating for almost two years; Lance’s antics are old news, at this point.  But she’s always been private about her affections, even around their friends.

“So nobody’s calling it,” says Hunk.  “Shall we continue?”

“Okay, fine.”  Lance heaves a sigh.  “Three jacks.”

Everybody believes him, by virtue of him holding at least half of the cards. Keith waits until Lance has fully retracted his hand, then smirks.  

“I was lying.”

“You little shit!”

The game devolves from there.

***

After everyone leaves, Pidge is the one left sweeping up the confetti from the party poppers.  It’s the least she can do as a guest.  Lance’s family agreed to host her for the next few days, before both she and Lance fly back to school—Lance to UNC, Pidge to MIT.  The best of both worlds: Christmas with her family in the new house, New Year’s Day with all her friends.

A warm weight envelops her from behind.  Lance’s arms wrap around her waist as he buries his face in the side of her neck; Pidge reaches up to run her fingers through his hair, soft to the touch.  She nudges his side with her elbow, prompting him to loosen his grip enough so that she can rotate to face him.

“Happy new year,” he murmurs, nudging her forehead with his nose, and then he’s swooping close, flashing that insufferable grin.  “Where’s my kiss?”

“There’s confetti in your hair,” Pidge tells him instead, rising on her toes so that she can brush the top of his head.  “C’mon, bend down.”

It’s peaceful, this.  Some days, Pidge wonders how exactly she and Lance managed to stumble into what they have, especially when she remembers freshman year, saving a then-stranger from being stuck in his locker. Sophomore year, rolling her eyes at all his shitty jokes; vowing revenge for the one time at Whataburger when he spiked her ketchup with Tabasco sauce.  

And now?

Now she’s standing in a kitchen, forty-five minutes past midnight, brushing tiny dots of pink, blue, and orange paper from Lance’s hair.  From under his eyelashes, Lance watches her, the faintest smile on his face; and Pidge knows, scientifically, that it’s impossible for your heart to spontaneously expand, but. That’s what it does, around Lance.

Finished with her cleaning, she moves to cup his face.

“Close your eyes.”

Lance obliges.  Pidge begins her reward: a kiss to his chin.  Then the corner of his jaw.  Next, skimming across his cheek.  Lance is putty in her hands, and when she finally reaches his mouth she hovers just a hairsbreadth away, close enough that their breaths intermingle.  Her right thumb rests, gently, on his bottom lip.

Her left hand goes to her pocket, where it retrieves the kazoo from earlier—Lance discarded it when he went to tell their friends goodbye.

Pidge puts it between her teeth.

And blows.  

Lance’s eyes snap open, betrayal etched all over his face.  Taking advantage of the fog his mind is still in, Pidge slips away, cackling.  

It’s as good a start as any.

Dad Letter 021421

14 February, 2021

Dear Dad--

Well...happy Valentine’s Day! In case you’re not doing anything special to mark the day, Zach and I are vigorously not celebrating it either. It’s a Sunday in the time of plague, and I no longer have the NFL to ignore. We’ll stay in and do chores, trying not to get breathed on by anybody. We’re both still alive and well, and we intend to keep it that way!

I spent yesterday ripping DVDs. It’s just like taking the songs off a CD and putting them on your computer by ripping the music disc, only it’s extracting the movie off a DVD. What this means is that, for the first time in my life (although I have friends who’ve been doing this for years), I’ve found a little free software application that will read one of my DVD movie discs and convert it to a digital file that I can play on my computer. This is something of a big deal for me, because it involved overcoming a technical hurdle: The makers of DVD movies don’t WANT you to copy them, so they put in anti-piracy safeguards to try to make it difficult. But the free application I found doesn’t seem to give a shit about copy protection! And, when it pulled the video off the discs and converted it to digital files, it kept the subtitles. I can watch it on my TV or my computer and still have the subtitles, which is good. 

All this means is that I’ve now ripped all of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, from the boxed DVD set I was given a few Christmases ago, into digital files. I have a small, old, cheap computer hooked up to my living room TV and it can play these files. I have stored all the episodes in the computer and made a playlist that will play them all, first episode to last, with one double click. In one sense, it means I’ve saved myself the egregious over-expenditure of energy required to put a DVD into the DVD player, and I can now watch the show by just telling my computer to play an episode at random. In another sense, it’s actually accomplished a few things. Firstly, I can now play every episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, in order, without having to change discs. Also it means I can sell the DVDs back, because I now have all of their contents on my computer, taking up no space at all. It all fits into my goal of owning less weight in stuff each year than the previous year. Trying to lighten my load.

After I spent several hours ripping every episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, I then spent several hours ripping 122 Beavis and Butthead episodes. I’ll say this about Beavis and Butthead: They were the best summary of everything that was laughable about my generation, and it was made by someone from Texas (Mike Judge, who then made King of the Hill), so a lot about the world in which Beavis and Butthead is set is familiar to me. There’s an episode where they’re temporarily running a neighbor’s yard sale, and when a woman asks why they removed the baby Jesus from a little manger scene for sale, they said the Jesus was sold separately, and added, as their selling point, “He’s naked. Uh-huh-huh-huh.” Incurious, destructive, and horny. It was everyone and everything I remember from middle school. 

After spending yesterday swapping DVDs out of my computer over and over, I have no such productivity planned for today, and I can go back to my primary pastime, which is waiting anxiously to see if I can get a Covid vaccination before my retirement savings runs out, so I can get a job without worrying about being exposed to other people. The state of Maine is actually getting its citizens vaccinated at a decent pace, but it’s still ONLY doing front-line medical workers, and people over 70. As for those of us under 70, there’s no waiting list, no place to sign up online, and no indication when it will come. I’m going to stay on top of this. I’m in a risk group, being over 50 and having sweet tea for blood, so I’m hoping that as soon as they open things up, I’ll be one of the first in the next group to get vaccinated. If it takes until summertime, I might be in trouble, but I’m still looking for jobs that can be done from home, or that don’t expose me to lots of other people. I just saw something in the news that said, by this point, fully one-third of Americans have been infected with Covid-19. And the news says, if you’re still going to the store for your groceries, you should probably stop doing that. Not sure what I’m supposed to do for groceries, if that’s the case!

So, as may be a bit obvious, I have had some problems with depression lately. It’s nothing too terribly worrisome, since it’s mostly external factors driving my emotions downward--financial, pandemic-related, social isolation-related, etc.--and those are a bit easier to fight than the ever-present internal ones. I wrote everything down into something I call my “Litany of Complaint,” which is a list of everything vexing me, re-written and updated as needed, where I let ALL the bile out, and sent the current version to Stacy. Stacy did what all good Stacys do, she empathized, and reiterated that, if our financial situation is ever sufficiently dire that we’re forced (metaphorically) to eat cat food, to call her for help. A Stacy safety net...a Stafety net, as it were!

I can report, therefore, that life is not all doom and gloom! I think a bullet list of all the things making me happy is in order. 

- The new occupants of trailer 1 (just in front of ours; we’re 1A) have installed something interesting: an orange light in the back bedroom that is as bright as the sun. It is a high-pressure sodium light. They are growing weed in their back bedroom. That’s legal here.

- Our two cats now sleep together, in a pile, on the electric blanket on the sofa, every day. Occasionally, they wake up and start to fight or lick each other, then fall back asleep. (Isn’t it fascinating how closely biting/murder is to licking/grooming on the color wheel of kitty behavior? They’re adjacent! One behavior will slip into the other, and slip back again, like a change in wind direction.) It’s ridiculously adorable. We hoped they’d become family to each other, and they did! We’re grateful for their dumb asses every day.

- We live between two Dunkin Donuts. There’s a Dunkin about a mile and a half in either direction of the road we’re on. Now they’re taking an abandoned Tim Horton’s on our block, and converting it into another Dunkin Donuts. So...no Whataburger, KFC, Taco Bell, or Jack in the Box, but I’ll soon be walking distance from three Dunkin Donuts. 

- I was computering on my computer a few days ago when I saw something huge land on our bird feeder outside. It was a big, gorgeous hawk-looking thing, and I called Zach over, stupefied, “Bird! Big! Big Bird! Big hawk thing!” Zach saw it too, and almost got a picture of it. After it left, we looked it up and identified it as a peregrine falcon. We have bald eagles in our neighborhood, too!

- I still love the snow, and it’s still goddamned magical whenever it happens.

I have one plan for today that might interest you; I’m going to look up a Revolutionary War battle that’s mentioned in ‘Hamilton’ and see what happened there! There’s a line in Hamilton about how General Lee “shits the bed at the battle of Monmouth,” so I’m now curious to learn exactly how he did so. I’ll let you know how it turns out!

As Mr. Spock says, live long and prosper. All my love to you both!

November 29th 2020 - Twist and Turns of life

So starting this story out, I’ve been seeing “Christian Girl” for awhile. On and off. After a few months of seeing each other she admitted to falling in love with me. However she didn’t want to ‘be with me’. Which hurt but I stuck around hoping she’d change her mind.  A few weeks ago while prodding her to understand why she would say she’s in love with me but wouldn’t be with me, she explained that she doesn’t feel like I’d make a good father. A bit of background, my father passed away when I was 6, and I’ve spent most of my life dreaming of being a father one day. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I desperately want to be the father to my kids that my dad wasn’t given the chance to be. Don’t get me wrong, he was an amazing dad, but he was taken too early on and didn’t get to watch us grow up. So that’s always sort of been my goal. Anyways. I last saw Christian girl, who my friend group now refers to as “Simba” (Read August 2nd) on November 24th. She came to my house after everyone left for work and while I was working from home. We spent a few hours snuggling, kissing, and whatever else ended up happening. On Wednesday she sent me a text “Missu” and sent me a selfie of her in bed. Something seemed off though. So I sent her a text saying good morning and trying to talk to her. No reply. As the day went on I’d send a few more text, but never receiving replies. On Friday, November 27th, I called her phone at like 5am. Usually she woke up early for work and would text me so I figured she’d be awake. She answered and acted weird. I asked why she had ghosted me and she danced around the question for awhile. After an hour of talking she admitted that the next day she started talking to her exboyfriend from college’s best friend that tried getting with her after she had split with her ex. (This would’ve been like, 10ish years ago). She said she “doesn’t like talking to multiple people at a time and felt like he’d be better for her” or some bullshit. I spent the next day or so extremely depressed because I foolishly thought she was going to get over the drama and finally officially be with me. My mistake. So Saturday night comes around. Another girl I had matched with and casually texted with told me she had just gotten home from Ohio (drove) and had some edibles for me. She said if I’d like, I can come over and get them and stay the night with her.  Since I’m heartbroken and wanting to get over Simba, I agreed. I drove an hour out to Denton, Texas and went to her apartment. She sat across the room from me for a few minutes which was odd, then got a call from her sister asking her to pick up her (sisters) kids from their dad because she (the sister) was still at work. The girl asked me if I wanted to come, and then said “errr wait you probably shouldn’t. I don’t want my sister to find out I’m talking to someone and tell my family and make things weird.” Then asked if I’d stay at her apartment until she returned. I figured since I just drove an hour in a wild ass storm (if you’re from Texas, you know how crazy our ‘storms’ get) that, yeah fuck it. So I laid on her bed and scrolled through my phone and waited for her to return. After half an hour the girl texted me again that her sister needed her to babysit the kids and that she’d be gone awhile and asked if we could just reschedule. I was pissed that I drove all that way to basically get ditched and told to leave. So I told her don’t worry about rescheduling, we can text and see where things go from there. Then proceeded to drive an hour home. Once I got home, another girl I had been casually texting said that she was free tonight and wanted to see me. I was iffy at first because I had just dealt with one girl I really like ghosting me, and another girl I was trying to see inviting me over then bailing and texting me to leave. But I said whatever fuck it and went. So now I’m driving another hour, in the same big ass storm, to the opposite side of Dallas, Texas to a city called “Terrell”. I go to a Holiday inn, check in and get a room, and go upstairs. The girl comes in and she’s a bit awkward, but its whatever. We snuggle for a bit, then she goes into the restroom to shower and ‘freshen up’. While she’s in the shower, I order some Applebees because the restaurant was so close you could see it out of our window. When she comes out of the bathroom, we snuggle for a bit more and wait for my order.. After over an hour of waiting, we decide to say fuck it and start making out. We eventually fuck and after, I check my food status because I was like “where the fuck is my food?” Doordash finally tells me “yeah we can’t find anyone to deliver. Do you want a refund or we can give you $36 “Doordash credit”. (The food I had ordered was like, $41). So I’m annoyed and ask for the refund which apparently takes 5-7 business days. Annoyed, I ask the girl if she’d like anything from Whataburger or if she’d like to come with and she declined. She said she was exhausted and wanted to sleep. I put my clothes and shoes on and walk out. As I walk down the hallway, I notice another girl, looked to be about 16, sitting outside of her door with her head in her arms. Something felt a bit off so as I approached (headed for the elevator), I asked if she was okay. She looked up and smiled and said “yeah I’m just fighting with some friends.” I noticed she had some tear spots on her dark red shirt. So I said “Okay.” and kept walking. I pressed the elevator button around the corner and waited. As I waited, I couldn’t help but to feel bad for the poor girl. So I leaned around the corner and said “Hey, I’m gonna go get food.. did you want anything?..” at which point her face lit up and she said she’d appreciate that as she hasn’t eaten. I walked over an exchanged numbers with her so she could text me what she wanted. I texted her a little bit on my way to Whataburger, and found out she was from a neighboring town, and we made small talk. When I got back to the hotel I walked up to her and handed her a drink and a bag of food she had requested. She thanked me and I made sure to let her know that if she needed anything, she could text me. I proceeded back to my room, and ate. I couldn’t get her out of my head, so I sent her another text and asked if she had been kicked out of the room. She replied she had. I offered to rent her a room for the night. However she said that her friends came out after I went into my room (I guess because they heard me talking to her) and let her back in. I told her that regardless, if she needed anything, text me asap and I’ll help out.  She never texted me. --- Despite the shit week I had, and the fucked up way the night had started out, I feel good about what happened. If Simba hadn’t ghosted me, again, and if the other chick hadn’t changed her mind and asked me to leave, I wouldn’t have met up with this other chick, in another city, and wouldn’t had been there for the girl crying in the hotel hall. And even though I didn’t do anything insane for the girl, the fact I was willing to stop and check on someone and buy them food, despite them being a stranger, sits warmly in my heart. We live in an age where so many people would’ve seen a crying chick and walked by thinking “That’s not my business”, or would’ve asked if she was okay, but would’ve accepted “yes I’m fine” as a valid response. Even though we all know that “yes I’m fine” is a reflex response because we’ve learned over years that sometimes it doesn’t matter how you feel, no one cares. But I promise you sometimes people do care, and not doing anything to help will eat away at them. I didn’t do anything spectacular for the girl. In fact, I’m aware I was at the hotel sort of being a douchebag by seeing multiple chicks in one night after being ghosted by another chick I was seeing. Regardless, I saw someone that needed a friend and I wanted to make sure I could help in whatever manner the girl felt comfortable accepting help. Give your heart but keep your head. 

Hello fellow humans! Today, I want to share a list of things that make me happy no matter how small or grand they are. These are the things that made my 2017 complete and happy. 

Many things happened to me this year and whether it’s good or bad, I’d be forever grateful for whatever things I learn and get to experience. May we enjoy our last few days of 2017!

.. here’s my Happy things list x

I love whataburger more than any burger place here in Texas. got to get that honey butter chicken biscuit! *I almost cried when i first had it* haha.

Cowboy bebop, Samurai Champloo, One man punch. These are the animes I watched this year and they’re really great. CLASSIC! I can’t believe it took me so long to watch and discover this kind of anime. Can’t wait for One man punch season 2 next year!

Nissan Versa. I was so nervous on getting my first car. I actually spent few weeks or even a month (I think) deciding on which car to buy. I bought it the day before my birthday and I must say, I’m pretty happy with it. it was really time for me to buy a car anyway. 

Jumped off a cliff on my 23rd birthday. I would say that I’m not that afraid of heights but it’s still kinda scary being on top of the cliff. I also get to ride a jetski for the first time. How cool is that! better than my 22nd birthday last year when I was alone with a cold pizza. Lol.

First year anniversary. When I first started working in the pharmacy, I was so shy, really quiet, and not so confident. I can’t understand anything and basically I feel like an Idiot. I really doubted myself because I’m not yet comfortable working with non-filipinos. But after weeks and months of getting to know my job, I don’t really expect to be good (haha) at it. Just go easy with yourself, calm down, and go over with the duties one step at a time. You’ll learn and will be good at it as time goes by.

Planner, bullet journaling, calligraphy. After a friend bought me a calligraphy set as gift, my motivation went back to show my artistic side again. I use my planner a lot to keep up with my work schedule, doctor’s appointment, paying bills left and right, etc. It’s fulfilling and makes me feel productive whenever I tick of some things from my to-do list.

lastly, the people I meet and helped me throughout the Journey. I’m not gonna name them because y’all know who you are. There are temporary people that come and go, leave you with valuable lessons in the end and there are people who you’ll meet unexpectedly and will make a big impact in your life. Thank you. 

It’s been 2 years since I moved here in the US from the PH. I miss my family more than ever but the experiences I learn living without them gave me the time to mature and flourish on my own. Indeed great things come outside your comfort zone. 

Day for Night 2017 Review

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending Day for Night Festival in Houston, Texas from December 15-17th with fellow WKNC staff member Double Duchess and some other various college radio kids. Having never been to either Houston or a music festival that wasn’t multi-venue, I was both very excited and not sure what to expect.

Friday

Tickets for DFN were sold either ‘weekend’ (Saturday and Sunday) or ‘3 day’ which included the so-called Friday Summit, consisting of talks during the afternoon and performances in the evening, The Friday events were all at the indoor blue stage, one out of four used during the festival. Unfortunately, we missed the talks (given by the likes of Laurie Anderson and Chelsea Manning- the latter of whom will be speaking next year at Moogfest) but arrived just in time to see one of my most anticipated acts of the festival, Jenny Hval. I’d seen her several years ago at Hopscotch on a much smaller and lower-tech scale and was blown away again by her performance.

 Following Hval were Earl Sweatshirt (at which point I had to leave because the crowd became too packed). Kaytranada closed out the night with a fun, high-energy set that had everyone dancing.

 I was very impressed by the venue itself; it was spacious and very industrial-looking, which made sense as it was formerly a post office warehouse.

Saturday

 I didn’t bring my camera this day because heavy rain was on the forecast. I’m very glad about this, as I ended up standing in the rain for hours!

I started my afternoon by catching a few minutes of Perfume Genius’s set and then dashing over to a set I was very excited to see- Lil B. The most fun part of Saturday was definitely the Based God bouncing around on stage, forgetting his lyrics, and very earnestly taking his sunglasses off to “show everyone how based he was” before throwing them into the audience and instantly seeming regretful.

My intent was to see a bit of Cardi B next, but I honestly got bored after she stalled with an opener and a DJ and I left after waiting for half an hour to catch some of Forest Swords, who provided an incredible atmosphere inside the hazy abandoned warehouse.

I bought some disgusting $10 wine beverage (legally, thx) and settled in to watch Laurie Anderson. She spent the first portion of her set basically giving a Ted talk- I’m not complaining, she has some great stuff to say. Heed my advice, though, never talk while Laurie Anderson is talking. My friend and I were standing in the back of the crowd whispering to each other and someone demanded he shut up with so much rage in their voice I really thought a fight was going to break out.

Finally, because I love rough transitions, I ended the night by seeing Nine Inch Nails in the absolute pouring rain. I felt like I was in another dimension and it was incredible. Immediately afterwards everyone I rode to the festival with and I high-tailed it to Whataburger.

Sunday

Sunday started with a bang- I got to see Jessy Lanza for the second time this year!! Her set got cut a little bit short unfortunately but I had an excellent time dancing.

Next up was Rabit and House of Kenzo, a show I went into completely unprepared for but was very pleasantly surprised by. There were a thousand things happening at every moment but I loved it and the crowd was definitely getting into it.

I followed that up with a little bit of En Vogue, which was a flawlessly executed set down to the smallest choreography and harmonies.

Babyfather was probably the act that the most people had recommended I catch so I was definitely excited to see them. I’m very glad I did. I’ve only ever listened to Dean Blunt’s solo project but his stage presence is magnetic and there’s no denying that he is a talented musician and performer.

Continuing in the trend of great performances, next up was The Jesus Lizard. David Yow began the set by leaping into the crowd and snatching the beanie off the head of a security guard. He continued to crowd-surf and swagger around the stage, breathlessly shouting quips such as “Good evening, we’re Led Zeppelin!”

Corbin (FKA Spooky Black) was the next artist I caught. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of his album, but I enjoyed his performance- he seemed very genuine whereas his recorded music borders on cheesy to me.

Finally, I closed out my weekend with the beautiful drones of Tim Hecker. I don’t have much to say about this set other than it was a little bit cathartic being in a dark warehouse vibrating with the sheer volume of ambient sound.

The World Stops Chapter 4 (Jared x Reader)

Title: The World Stops Chapter 4

Summary: (Y/n) was late for work after taking Jared to the airport the night before.

Warnings: Angst, language

Los Angeles

September 12, 2001

 Jared had spent most of the day before glued to the TV screen and the phone. He kept trying. He could call Texas, even though it was a little hit and miss. He could talk to his family there. He could call his agent, who had been in Florida at the time. But nothing was getting into New York. The news had even talked about that, since many cell phones were routed through tower one, the north tower, as well as many TV shows and radio stations. Too many things relied on those towers to thrive and they were gone…

 Jensen had left a few times for food, because he didn’t feel like cooking and he knew that Jared wouldn’t do it. Not that he blamed him any. Every time he was alone, he kept praying to whoever was listening to him to let (Y/n) be okay. He knew how much she meant to Jared. He had seen it the moment that Jared and (Y/n) locked eyes for the first time.

 That night, Jared had fallen asleep on the couch, watching the coverage about the 9/11 attacks on CNN. Jensen didn’t want to wake him to make him go to his bed. He knew he was waiting for word about anything and it had been more of a he just dropped type of sleep. So Jensen just covered him in a blanket and went to bed himself.

 It was now the morning and Jensen was distracting himself making breakfast while Jared tried, but kept failing, to place calls to New York. Even though the lady one the TV kept saying that some areas of the city would remain without phone service for a while. But Jared was determined.

 “Jay, they just said that calls probably won’t get through to Tribeca or most of lower Manhattan for the next few days.” Jensen said. “We just have to wait for the airports to open back up.”

 “I just…I need something. Anything.” Jared said. “I need to know she got out alive. Even if she’s injured, I can handle that. But I don’t think I can handle losing her.”

 “You’re not going to lose her.” Jensen said, dishing out some scrambled eggs. “Even if she was there, she would’ve been smart enough to leave.”

 The anchor was talking about search and rescue processes that were going underway. Police, firefighters, Marines, and others were helping in the effort. But most of New York was still at a standstill, and the neighborhoods of Lower Manhattan were struggling.

 “Come on man, you need to eat.” Jensen said, sliding the plate to him. Jared wanted to argue and tell him no he didn’t, but his stomach betrayed him. Jared groaned but took the food that was offered. Even when he was fighting the flu, Jared wasn’t really one to turn down food. Jensen had probably only seen him turn down food a handful of times in the almost two decades they had known each other.

 “I can’t drive to New York, because it would take too long and I’d probably end up crashing because I would refuse to sleep.” Jared said after a few moments of silent eating. Jensen looked up at him. “The news is saying that the first few days the airports open up, that everything will be really backlogged. That even if your ticket is for a certain day, you might not get to leave that day. And our tickets are for Friday.”

 “Jay, just take a breath.” Jensen said. “I understand this is hard, but we’ll get to New York. I promise I’m going to get you there one way or another. And I could try calling people outside of the city, or at least in Upper Manhattan to see if they can find anything out for us.” Jared sighed but nodded.

 “I just can’t sit here and watch the news anymore.” Jared said.

 “Then let’s not.” Jensen said. “Let’s go to the Beverly Center, or the Grove, or walk up and down the Walk of Fame. We could go to the places we don’t have in New York. Like the beach. Hell, we could even drive to San Diego if you want. Go to the zoo.” Jensen stood up and opened the blinds to let the warm, California sun in. It allowed him to get a good look at Jared.

 When they were on break from filming, Jared always let his beard grow. (Y/n) always loved it at first, until he started looking like a stand in for ZZ Top. Jared had his beard, but the stress of the last day had made it look different than it had before. It made him look tired and rundown. Jensen would suggest Jared shaving, but he hoped that maybe the coastal air and being away from the TV would do him some good. He knew that there would be talk about it out there, but he was hoping that even just getting a burger at someplace they didn’t have back home. Hell, at this point he would even consider driving Jared all the way to El Paso to go to Whataburger, or taking him into San Antonio to see his parents. His sister lived in Austin now…

 “What about just going for a walk?” Jared asked. “The Walk of Fame sounds nice. Maybe we could catch a show at Sunset, depending how to the day goes?” Jensen smiled and wrapped an arm around Jared.

 “We should hit the showers and out we’ll go.” He said. “And don’t worry, we’ll have the phones just in case New York gains the ability to call today.” He smiled and headed towards the master bedroom to go take a nice shower. Jared sighed and finally pushed himself up from the table. He allowed himself one last look at the images on the TV before he grabbed the remote and turned it off.

 Thankfully, the radio in the bathroom had a CD player, so he played an old AC/DC CD while he showered.

 It made him think of (Y/n).

 ****

 L.A. was busy, yet strangely quiet. The boys had grabbed smoothies and were walking around Hollywood. The place wasn’t as exciting as it had been in the past. The whole country was trying to overcome a trauma. If this was how L.A. was though, Jensen could only imagine how New York and New Jersey were.

 People were sitting at a café, watching news coverage on a TV screen across from them. Jensen waved to some of them, knowing them from past projects. They were watching coverage as two Port Authority Police Officers were pulled from the rubble. Jensen looked over at Jared, who was watching intensely. Was (Y/n) under the rubble like those two men had been? Was she safe? Did she remember how much Jared loved her?

 Jared’s phone rang then and his heart skipped a few beats. But the name on the phone said “Mom”, not “(Y/n)”. He waved Jensen off, who was hoping that it was (Y/n) too. Jensen made his way over to some people he knew while Jared answered his phone.

 “Hey mom.” He sighed.

 “I’m guessing you haven’t heard from (Y/n) then.” She said, worry obvious in her voice. While at first, she didn’t trust (Y/n), thinking she was nothing more than some bimbo after her son’s money, (Y/n) easily wormed her way into Mrs. Padalecki’s heart. It was obvious that her son and her daughter-in-law loved each other more than anything.

 “No…” Jared whimpered. “My calls aren’t going through. We have friends in New York I’ve tried calling and nothing is going through.”

 “She’s fine. I just know it.” His mom assured him. “I can feel it in my heart. And I know deep down, you can feel it in yours.”

 “I just…I watched her tower get hit mom. And I can’t even remember if I told her I loved her before I left for L.A.” Jared was on the verge of tears. He turned away so Jensen couldn’t see. He didn’t want to make his day worse. He was trying so hard.

 “She knows you love her honey.” Jared just nodded. “I have to go now. I’m on my lunch break. Just keep me updated, okay?”

 “I will mom. I love you.”

 “I love you too honey.” With that, they hung up. Jared wiped at his eyes, not wanting to let Jensen know he had been crying. But Jensen knew. That was one thing about being around Jared for almost twenty years. He could read him like a book without even having to look at his face. Jensen walked over and placed a hand on Jared’s shoulder.

 “Do you want to go back to the house?” HE asked. Jared wanted to say no, that he was fine and the sun was doing him good, but he just could. Instead, he just nodded and Jensen offered a comforting smile before leading him back to the house.

Forever Tags: @petrovadixon @theas-bedtime-stories @aiaranradnay @crownedloki @dekahg @af112992 @firstgal34 @secretlyshycomputer @jewelsbaby98 @policeofficerdean @cutie1365

The World Stops Tags: @mcalbright @spn-ficfanatic @mariahoedt @kenzie-110101

The big long Gachapin @ Anime Matsuri recap, volume 3

Continued from Part 1 and Part 2

Holy crap it took me forever to get to this one sry

Day 3 - Sunday

So it was the last day of the con, and the last meet and greet section with the band. Before running over to get my autograph ticket, first we stopped by the merch booth to see if they added anything new because I wanted those luggage tags dammit! Well, no luck on that, but they put out a set of three stickers that they weren’t selling the day before so I grabbed those. Two of the stickers I’d never seen before - one had the band logo in a white outline with a clear center, the other was more like a bumper sticker - so I asked my Japanese gachaman friend if they were new. He said, yes and the white one it particular was very special because in Japan they only give those away as a reward for getting a certain number of stamps on your concert stamp card. So it was very rare to be able to get my hands on those as an overseas fan!

The autograph session that day was in the middle of the exhibit hall, but we were told (repeatedly) no photos. :/ the members came out in casual clothes this time. Hana was wearing a sweet owl shirt. Oreo had a dress that said “HAM” all over it. Koga dressed in typical Koga quality fashion.

Ady was wearing her Music Battler cosplay, and we were standing in line when the members appeared on the opposite end of the stage. I think Mai noticed first and she poked Oreo to get her attention, and when oreo saw, her face lit up and I swear she made a little squeal.

I decided I was gonna try and bend the rules a bit and get them to sign something that wasn’t from the con but was official merchandise, and Koga (who was first in line) totally OK’d it and let me do my bag! They were pretty lax about it, Todd got his Hana drumsticks signed by everyone and the gachaman brought all of the new member t-shirts from the current tour and had them sign them.

I was wearing Nenne’s member shirt that day, and Koga noticed immediately and very sincerely thanked me for worrying about her.

Hana was next. As she signed my bag, she said, “I saw the book you gave us. I’m really grateful.” She said this with so much serious in  seriousness and again, sincerity. I saw that Koga was also making eye contact with me during this, and nodding along to what Hana was saying. I told Hana I was happy, and that’s when she said “I almost cried,” and made the little crying motion under her eyes with her hands. I know almost cried at that precise moment right in front of her. she took my hand again--that day she was doing the “one hand business deal handshake” with everyone, but again she took her time with me and gave a little squeeze, and she had a different little smile this time, it felt more like heartfelt gratitude than the coy fishing from the day before.

I’m like... crying as I think about this even now. It’s one thing to meet your favorites, to support them in person, to thank them personally for being part of your life. I would have been happy just with that. But what I never expected at all was for it to go the other way around. To make an impression on them they won’t forget. To receive their gratitude. To make that kind of heartfelt, reciprocal connection with somebody irrespective of language and distance. To know that all the hard work I’ve put in the past two years, learning about them, supporting them, and sharing my love for them to others, all of that mattered to them.

Tomo-zo was next... I always draw a blank on what to say to her lol. So I asked what the members were going to do that day after the signing. She looked around at the others and was like “ehh... what are we doing today?” Mai and Oreo interjected with “eating!” in both English and Japanese. Lol. Then Mai jumped in--”oh! We had Whataburger!!!” I asked her how she liked it and she gave me the biggest “oishii” I have ever heard. Never change, Mai-chan.

Oreo remarked about my bag--”how did you get this?” and i told her I buy a lot of things from Japan, also I told  her I was friends with Jou and asked if she remembered him. She did:) and I told her to please come back, and with the same sincerity as Koga and Hana had, she bowed a tiny bit in her seat and said, “we definitely will.” It was very un-Oreo-like how solemnly she said this. She waved at me as I left the stage :)

There was an area with chairs in front of the stage, so I sat watching everyone eslse take that turn and about that moment all the emotions I referred to above hit me, and that’s when I finally stared crying. A lot. It was kind of a mess.

After they finished the signing, Oreo beckoned Ady over from afar to take pictures with her! The rest of us awkwardly followed behind a few hundred feet to where they took her to take photos. Then after that, we watched from afar as Gacha went and played on this big bounce house obstacle course where two people race up to the top and then go down a slide. Oreo faceplanted at least once. I wonder if you can guess who the ultimate winner was?

The next time we saw them was several hours later at the closing ceremony. Koga spoke on behalf of the group, and besides all the generic thank you for coming stuff, she talked about how happy she was to meet the fans from overseas and then she mentioned the fanbook and how happy they were to receive everybody’s messages. I cried again. rip

Finally, we loitered outside of the ballroom for a few minutes hoping to meet up with Todd, but instead we intercepted Gacha on their way out of the venue and managed to thank them one last time and wave them off. They descended the escalators, and from our balcony we watched them ride off into the sunset. I cried more.

So, yeah, that was the greatest weekend of my life. I can’t imagine a single way it could have gone better, and I’m just so grateful I was able to be a part of it. Yes, my ultimate goal is to see them in Japan, but even when I do, it’ll never be an experience like this, where I had so many distinct opportunities to interact with them. At a Japanese show they maybe would have noticed me and it would have been like, oh, there’s a foreign girl here, cool. But because of AM I know they‘ll remember me - the Hana-oshi girl who was wearing the Ravers, who was in the front row and knew all the words and choreography, who snapped the rubber band at Oreo, who sent warm wishes to Nenne, who gave them a book full of the international fans’ feelings, and yes, who cried a lot. I don’t think anything could have replaced this experience.

I’m going to make it to Japan, but also, they’re going to make it back here. And I’ll be there no matter what. And I hope a lot more of you guys can join me next time. :)

All the asks!!!

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?  - Assuming this means I would never be tired, I would just feel better in general.  I’d probably watch more movies and write more music or something.

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?  - My Pipco shirt has done good things for me.

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue?  - I would play like every instrument.

4. What does your perfect room look like?  - High ceiling, no standing waves or nodes, world’s greatest audio playback equipment, a wall of guitars, an opposite wall of keyboards, and a drumkit.  Oh, and a bed I guess.

5. How often do you play sports?  - NEVER

6. What fictional place would you like to visit?  - A place I’d be good with just going once would be the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter, just to see the generations worth of crap that people left there.  (yes i know it got burned down just pretend it didn’t)

7. What job would you be terrible at?  - I mean I quit Whataburger after like a day, so.

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?  - Maybe a few months ago?  I’m not sure.

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for?  - Staying up too long.

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?  - Maybe that I pick my nose?  I don’t get how it’s all that annoying though, and it makes my face feel better.

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at?  - Anything where I complete entertainingly challenging tasks and don’t have to talk to strangers.

12. What skill would you like to master?  - Microphone placement.

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?  - I want to go to Frank Zappa’s old house and see the studio.  It would have been even better a year ago when all his stuff was still in it, but I still want to be in the space.

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?  - Approximately like Zappa’s house, with a badass studio and comfy areas to just exist.

15. What's your favorite drink?  - Water

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?  - I think I was in New Jersey for about half an hour once.  Never again.

17. What songs do you have completely memorized?  - Most Frank Zappa songs

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?  - Star Trek, but the TV version.  

19. What do you consider to be your best find?  - I found the Grim Fandango soundtrack at a thrift store for 25 cents once.  It goes on ebay for like $60.

20. Are you usually early or late?  - I am early for everything.  Sometimes too early.  I can’t stand being late.

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up?  - A series of fish that all died.  The last time I had fish, one of them got hurt, and then the other one ate him.

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?  - Either my mom needs me to tell her how to do a really simple computer thing, or my friends need me to give advice on relationship troubles or something.

23. What takes up too much of your time?  - When I waste time spacing out instead of doing a concrete thing that requires any kind of time investment.

24. What do you wish you knew more about?  - Rudy Van Gelder’s recording techniques.  Problem is he’s dead and he never told anybody what he did.

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years?  - “Did The Rage And The Fury ever come out?  No?  FUCK”

26. What are some small things that make your day better?  - I like when my friends send me stuff that made them think of me.

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to?  - Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon is pretty much my go-to album.

28. What's the best way to start the day?  - Sleeping.

29. What TV shows do you like?  - Currently airing, pretty much just Steven Universe and Orphan Black.  Apart from that, Buffy, Hannibal, and Star Trek: TNG are all favorites.

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should?  - One that airs things I might want to watch more than a few times every couple months.

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished?  - Frank Zappa, Barack Obama, and the friends of mine who have to deal with their brains yelling at them.  All of them are badasses.

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?  - Preferably none.  I think every year I become a better version of myself, and I don’t want that to stop.

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?  - If I hear about a thing that’s popular but like super demeaning in some way like Split or whatever, I’ll avoid it forever.

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend?  -  Sleeping late and doing something productive that’s not related to school.

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without?  - Good audio playback equipment.  I can’t stand using headphones for more than like an hour or two at a time, and good speakers sound better anyway.

36. What is your claim to fame?  - I posted a thing about Wedge Antilles once.

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way?  - I totally prefer recording a whole band in a room to tracking everything individually.  I do it myself because I don’t usually have other people to play with, but for other people’s music it’s just more fun when I’m capturing a live performance.  It’s how so many classic recordings were done, but it’s so uncommon these days and that kinda bums me out.

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre?  - Sci-fi I guess, but I tend to really like stuff that bends genre in amusing ways regardless of the genre it’s bending.

39. How often do you people-watch?  - Whenever I feel like I can get away with it.

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?  - I realized last week that the US Democratic party is what a centrist party should be; everything is just so skewed to the right that they seem liberal by comparison.  I wish we had a real liberal party that was able to compete on the national stage, but we’re never going to get away from the two party system until we change a whole lot of shit.

41. What's the best day of the year?  - The best day of this year was when I saw Mike Keneally with my buddy Moped.  Possibly the best day of my life? 

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?  - I would say not enough people have heard of Frank Zappa, or at least have checked out enough of his music to have a real opinion on him.

43. How do you relax after a long day of work?  - Work for me is usually doing sound for rock bands, typically until pretty late at night, so I just crawl up in bed and read dumb shit online until I drop all the energy I build up from working.

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched?  - Hannibal for TV.  I need to read the books.

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home?  - Latvia for 5 months in 2014.

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen?  - Idk, probably some sappy romance in a show I like.  I’m a sucker for that sort of thing.

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you?  - This one.

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?  - Frank Zappa, or any number of subcategories about him.  The evolution of his guitar tone, the influence of his favorite music on his own work, his history of band members, etc.

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do?  - I’d do REALLY crazy shit like guarantee everyone human rights.  Unless they’re nazis.  Frankly I have no idea why this is crazy, but some Americans would tell you it is.

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?  - Listen to Frank Zappa.  JK, he’s not for everyone.  Everybody should go hear a band they love play live though.  There’s nothing like it.

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting?  - HANG GLIDING FUCK YEAH

52. What's your dream car?  - A self-driving one.

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best?  - Right now I’m researching acoustic treatment so my speakers won’t sound like crap in my bedroom, so I’m gonna go with that.

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get?  - One night stands tbh.  I’m demisexual, so it just sounds awful and gross.  I’m glad other people enjoy them though.

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?  - Making a living at the thing I do.

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been?  - In terms of experiencing culture, Latvia.  I’m so glad I got to absorb all that information from talking to people, and it gave me a more direct experience with the after effects of totalitarianism than many Americans *coughtrumpvoterscough* have ever been exposed to.

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it?  - Fried ice cream.  I’ve been fascinated by the concept since I was a kid.

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?  - I SAW MIKE KENEALLY AND HUNG OUT WITH MY FRIEND MOPED

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again?  - I honestly get more enjoyment out of media when I’m experiencing it for subsequent times, so none.  I love rereading books, rewatching movies, and listening to albums enough times to memorize every note.

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?  - The one I have but more often.

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see?  - Released music on the internet.  4 people downloaded my last single.

62. How different was your life 1 year ago?  - About the same but harder.  College has been getting easier for me since I’ve gotten used to it.

63. What quirks do you have?  - My chin is lopsided and my left arm sticks out at an angle.  As far as personality quirks, I have about as many as the average person, which is to say too many to list.

64. What would you rate 10/10?  - Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon, One Size Fits All by Frank Zappa, and the Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky.

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back?  - Recording live bands in a room together!

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen?  - I’ve seen tons of great art, but today I saw this thing that was like a giant inflatable tent that let sunlight through and turned it into different colors.  Check this out.

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most?  - I have no idea how to define my taste in art, I just like something or I don’t.

68. What do you hope never changes?  - I hope Lemon Demon albums keep coming out.  I don’t know how you could top Spirit Phone though.

69. What city would you most like to live in?  - Somewhere in California might be fun.

70. What movie title best describes your life?  - It Might Get Loud

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now?  - Because I’m good at it and it’s damn fun

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time?  - Making themselves happy in a positive way.

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?  - A badass guitar.  Possibly something like Jerry Garcia’s Wolf with a billion knobs and stuff.

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been?  - My bedroom

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you?  - I SAW MIKE KENEALLY WITH MY BUDDY MOPED AND WE HUNG OUT WITH THE BAND FOR A MINUTE

76. Where would you rather be from?  - I’m technically from New York, but I was 3 when I moved so it doesn’t really matter where I’m actually from.

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn?  - I mean there’s the obvious ones like racism, sexism, being a dick in general, but also I had some bad audio habits that I’ve had to kick.  I always have to force myself to mix my own vocals loud enough on my song, which led into me doing something similar when I first started doing live sound for other people.  Audiences like hearing what the singer is saying.

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?  - I can’t wait to sleep more this summer.  (This is a reoccurring theme in this ask thing isn’t it)

79. What website do you visit most often?  - Tumblr is probably the one I spend the most overall time on, but I usually split my time fairly evenly.  I look at Facebook a lot, but usually not for more than a few moments at a time.  I read a decent amount of Twitter, but I almost never tweet anything.  I also like looking at instruments for sale on Craigslist.  

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford?  - Probably some guitar or keyboard.  Shit, if I could I would have every instrument ever.

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time?  - My bedroom.

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?  - My bedroom.

83. What's special about the place you grew up?  - I have a really nice bedroom.  It’s changed a lot depending on what I use it for at the time, but it’s been the same color since I picked it out when I was 4.

84. What age do you want to live to?  - I’m good with whatever life gives me.  I could live to 100 but I wouldn’t be too peeved if I died next week.

85. What are you most likely to become famous for?  - My dream is to be that producer at the Grammys who called Taylor Swift on the phone from the podium to say their album won.  That was the coolest.

86. What are you absolutely determined to do?  - Someday I want to do a really awesome orchestral recording.  I don’t even care that much what the music is, I just want to do that.

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?  - I can make bands of old dudes who are wary of a spunky young sound person like me by making them sound as good as possible.

88. What do you wish you knew more about?  - Drum overhead placement.

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to?  - How the heck do I get that clean tone that Zappa had in 1988.  

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person?  - “Why did you vote for who you did in 2016?”

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?  - I feel like most opinion changes happen so gradually that they’re hard to notice, so I have no idea.

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received?  - I really like when people compare my music to Zappa without knowing that I love him as much as I do.

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?  - Find the Zappa vault and listen to everything, then die.

94. Who inspires you to be better?  - My friends, who are all awesome.

95. What do you want your epitaph to be?  - “Eh, good enough I guess”

96. What haven't you grown out of?  - Shirts I had when I was like 14, interestingly.

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?  - Any social event with tons of people I don’t know and where I don’t have a friend keeping me company the whole time.

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well?  - I made a tumblr, which has given me multiple good friends.

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about?  - Idk, that would be a pretty boring book for anyone who didn’t know me.

100. What's something you will never do again?  - Talk to this one asshole.

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future?  - I want to like myself more.

102. What keeps you up at night?  - Usually the internet.  On more fun nights, conversations with friends.

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had?  - “Oh shit, 14 year old me was a fuckin’ asshole”

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done?  - nah

105. How do you get in the way of your own success?  - I’m not as proactive about looking for work as I probably should be.  Same with getting ahead in school.  I tend to put in just the work that will get me by in my classes, and I don’t really pursue any extracurricuals or anything.

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?  - Acne some nerd who talks about stuff they don’t care about

107. What is your biggest regret?  - nah

108. What do you look down on people for?  - Being children.  Not like, I think badly of them for being childish, I mean I have to literally look down at kids because I’m taller than they are.

109. What bridges do you not regret burning?  - There’s a couple I should have burned sooner, but one of them I just had no idea who he really was for the longest time.

110. What lie do you tell most often?  - “I can sing”

111. What would be your spirit animal?  - Isn’t this appropriation or something?  I’m not completely clear on this one so somebody let me know.

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?  - Best is being a smarter, better version of myself.  Worst is taxes.

113. What are you most likely very wrong about?  - I believe that the US has a fundamental promise of hope.  

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?  - Idk, designing flags is hard.

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world?  - November 2016 made me doubt 113.

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned?  - There are more terrible people in the world than I hoped.

117. What is the most immature thing you do?  - I still think fart jokes are more often hilarious than they are bad.

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?  - Existing?

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?  - Cheese, then the absence of cheese, then lots of cheese.

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have?  - I support the institution of taxation as a necessary part of running a functional government, but I wish I didn’t have to pay 15% as a freelancer.

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die?  - Record an orchestra, Have somebody heard of me by reputation who’s not a friend of a friend or something, and have dinner with Joe Travers.

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?  - “You’re gonna like music more than acting, so you might as well get a head start.”

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents?  - I’d like to think I have at least some of my dad’s work ethic.  I definitely have his sense of humor.

124. What's the best thing about you?  - I’m good at talking with people.

125. What blows your mind?  - There are over a hundred Zappa albums.

126. Have you ever saved someone's life?  - Not directly

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at?  - Honestly can’t think of anything.  Ask me later.

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?  - Clear skin, bad taste in media, shitty friend, makes a living.

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you?  - I’m tired, I should go to bed, and I think this is an absurdly long ask thing.

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?  - There’s a scar on my finger from the first time I ever used a pocket knife.  It was a gift from a friend’s uncle or some such relative, and he freaked out 100x more than I did when I cut myself.

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life?  - “Now we’re getting somewhere I guess”

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life?  - Doing DI, being politely kicked out of DI because I didn’t realize yet that depression was a thing and it was affecting my work, apprenticing at a venue, probably some other, more pleasant stuff.

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned?  - No matter how far I go at being what I consider a good person, I can always do better.

134. What do people think is weird about you?  - I like some really weird music.

135. What mistake do you keep making?  - Carrying too much stuff at once.  Thankfully I don’t usually drop it though.

136. What have you created that you're most proud of?  My Christmas album.

137. What do you doubt?  - That I’m good at music.

138. What are some of your morals?  - The current president is Bad.

139. What do you want to be remembered for?  - Being a good friend and also making cool music.

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years?  - I never got to go to Legoland back when I would have enjoyed it most.  I’d still love to go tbh.

141. What is your favorite fragrance?  - Whatever my friends each smell like, because it makes me think of them.

142. What do you think your last words will be?  “Well okay”

143. Who or what do you take for granted?  - Probably that my parents will always be there if I need them.

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate?  - Loud music all the time.

145. What is something you're insecure about?  - My face

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received?  - Best is “done is better than perfect”.  Worst is “put that pressure zone mic at an angle from the ground.

147. What irrational fears do you have?  - If a friend doesn’t text me back I sometimes worry that they’re dead.  It’s annoying.

148. What makes a good life?  - Doing whatever it is that makes you happy and leaving a good impression on the people in your life.

149. What's the last adventure you went on?  - I went to McKinney and SAW MIKE KENEALLY 

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received?  - My dad gave me a Gibson SG.  It’s pretty great.

10/13/2017 – No Contact:  Everyone is a Little Racist

Current time. 11:50.  I just woke up from a series of naps.  Two, so I guess that’s a series.  But let me tell you about the dream I had.

I was living in this weird apartment complex.  It began with me walking around and visiting with neighbors and these two Chinese ladies.  One was older and one was a bit younger (a daughter).  They made it clear that they were into some shady shit.  They asked if they could use my car for this shady shit and I tell them no.  After that, I went along and eventually came back to find an older version of an old roommate’s youngest son (long story there) laying on a bed inside the apartment.  It’s important to note it was Halloween and he was upset about something.  I offered the support as best I could but eventually left.  I was very social and there was this cute girl I was hitting on.

The conversation with said cute girl ended in me remembering, I forgot something in my car.  I go to it and it’s not my silver Dodge but an old, blue station wagon.  Kind of a short one if compared to other station wagons.  Hard to explain.  Anyways, I discover the two Chinese ladies STEALING my car.  And I say, “...um… can I help you?”  They said yes and heavily implied that if I didn’t let them something bad would happen.  I was like, “Okay, I guess I’ll call the police when you’re done...”

Except I couldn’t.  They forced me into the station wagon and I sat in the back seat as they loaded stuff into the very back.  I tried not to look directly at it but it looked like drugs disguised as Chinese food.  I was hoping they’d drive by my apartment and the girl I was talking to would see I was being taken hostage, but no.  They made their way out of there almost immediately.

Anyways, the older one drove and she spoke like Maria.  Broken, barely spoken English.  The younger spoke a bit more but was still really bad.  We went through the mountains, where there was a lot of snow.  The older one became nervous like she’s never driven in the snow before. Upon coming down from a summit, she parked on the side of a road in a TURNING lane and ran across to the other side for something.  As she did, a truck lost control and almost hit her.

I don’t know what she did but when she came back I offered them both to drive for them.  Because GEEZUZ!!!  The dude who was in the truck came up wanting to trade information.  The car wasn’t touched so I told him, “Listen, not my problem.  Try to get information from her, the person you almost hit.”  He complained because we parked in the parking lane but eventually started speaking to the older lady about it.  They sorted everything out and we started driving again.

That’s all I remember.  Wasn’t that dramatic of a dream, but I think it’d be an effective comedy.  KIND OF RACIST, I know.  Especially since I’ve been talking about Asians a lot lately.  Normally, I don’t include race in my stories.  For example, my old roommate’s youngest son?  He’s half black, half Mexican.  I didn’t include that at all.  Most of my stories with blacks don’t mention their color.  One of the girls I was hitting on a while back over Facebook? She was black.  Why do I mention Asians when their race doesn’t matter?

I guess Asians sort of get overlooked.  Don’t get me wrong, they are still targets for racism because EVERYONE is a little racist (myself included).  However, they weren’t really targeted by All Lives Matters and people like that.  Why would they be?  The Asians I know tend to be on top of things.  And they’re RIDICULOUSLY talented. Like… fucking hell, that’s their racism trait.  Being good at most everything they do.  Except driving, apparently.

I’m not sure that’s true, either.  Unless they drive a Chevy.  Now that I think about it, blacks and whites were the ones involved in all the car accidents I’ve seen in person.  One case, I saw one get rear ended by this stoner dude.  The stoner was white and they were a black couple.  With the exception of that one waiter we had, I don’t really know too many Asians who have actually been in car accidents.

Doesn’t mean you’re a safe driver if you’ve never been in an accident, of course.  Still, just something I’ve noticed.  I think Mexicans are bad drivers.  I look at ALL my cousins as references.  Some of them have been in car accidents, too!  Thing is, they were in car accidents in… Mexico.  So, both sides were Mexican.  Drivers in Mexico are just… crazy.

Whatever. Now, what am I going to do.  Currently 12:15.  I wanted to do something before the naps but I fell asleep watching Game Grumps. Probably food.  I grabbed a dragon fruit for Adela to try but she doesn’t want to try it.  She has to open up sometime.  >:C

I didn’t do my sets yesterday or the day before.  I’ll do it today, though.  I MIGHT cook myself some eggs.  Or I might make a sandwich… an egg sandwich?  I don’t know.  I’m hungry.  I want food.  But what food? I don’t want sweet, food.  I have enough fruit for it, to be sure.  I guess I’ll make myself something with peas, actually.  That’s not a bad idea.  Then I’ll finish watching the video I fell asleep on from about where I fell asleep. And I’ll have a fruit.  Which fruit? ANY FRUIT!!!

Anyways, I’ll be on later.  Maybe.  I have an update unfortunately.  I hate updates…  Bah, it’ll be fine.  Later.

I don’t think I’m going to be a vegetarian much longer.  I’d. Fucking.  MURDER.  For a god damn burger right now.  x.x  Like… I think sometime next year I’ll get a burger from Whataburger.  Only in a few months.  I’ll try to hold out as long as possible… but no promises.  Might do what you do.  Claim to be vegetarian but still eat meat.  ;)

Kidding.  Sort of.  I MIGHT start eating fish.  Then turkey.  And eventually work my way back into beef and ham.  I just ate.  Had a peach and, as opposed to everything in the god damn HEB, it wasn’t on the verge of rotting.  Seriously, they need to work on their god damn stocking.  Like, only one avocado was edible last time I was there.  Disgusting.

Whatever. If you want them to be stocked, go early.  I’m going to have the other peach soon.  I feel SO hungry.  x.x

Eh… The food I got was kind of subpar.  I have no onions, tomatoes, or honey mustard.  Didn’t feel like cooking some eggs so I basically made a cheese sandwich with spinach.  Unfortunately, that proved to be not as good as it sounds.  The swiss cheese melted over the spinach and it SEEMED like it’d taste good.  So good.  The best even. Thing is, the spinach sort of canceled out the savory swiss.  It felt… empty.  And I grabbed a peach too.  That peach was ripe, but it was… eh.  Not as good as the other.  Just disappointing.  Filling?  Not really.  I have some spinach left but I’m saving that for an egg sandwich tomorrow.  I have ketchup and my three spices.  Seasoned salt, black pepper, and garlic powder. Put that shit in anything you cook and it’ll be grand.  Remember the mashed potatoes?  I sometimes put onions in it but you LOVED it. We should have mashed potatoes if you come out.

Ah, I just remembered.  It’s not seasoned salt I have but that pink Himalayan salt.  It’s… alright, but I have to twist the thing and that makes it harder to guesstimate the amount.  Oh, guesstimate is a word apparently.  More proof that English is fucking dumb.

Anyways, put that in the eggs, add ketchup, and I’ll have a GREAT breakfast.

You know, I got the eggs for three reasons.  Firstly, it’s not meat. Second, I saw a picture where you cooked me breakfast.  I posted it on Facebook and titled it the perfect breakfast.  It was eggs and pop tarts.  People gave me crap because it’s so simple and I said it wasn’t the food but the who.  You made that breakfast perfect. Finally, I want to try some of those egg rituals my witch friend suggested.  Turns out, the chants DON’T have to be religious to work.  So I could say, “No Pasaran” or even “I have nothing to lose but my chains” or whatever and it’d still work.  That’s some good news.

As for disposing, if it’s a protection spell, we bury it.  If it’s detecting negative energy, we pour it in a river and be on our way. I THINK Adela has a septic tank.  I’m not sure about the sewers in Houston.  So, we COULD flush it but until we know for sure, I’m not doing that with the eggs.

Apparently, you can also use potatoes for spells.  Magic is weird.  If this had happened a few months ago, then I would have been like, “Lol, magic is dumb and you’re dumb.”  However, I feel there is more to it than that now.  I’ve learned a lot from her.  Been taking notes.  I might use it for writing.  I probably won’t, unfortunately.  I have so much planned but so little time.  :c

Eh… I want a burger.  So badly.  I want to make an egg sandwich but… I won’t.  Ah, well.  Current supply in the fridge and pantry for ME to eat (Adela’s food is off limits) consists of the dragon fruit, three apples, a bottle of ketchup, almond milk, a single and final serving of spinach, half a loaf of bread, a can of peas and carrots, a can of corn, various cheeses, and 16 eggs.  We’ll go shopping sometime on the weekend.  I’ll be fine.

The rough estimate for my food is 60-80 dollars.  Per week, that would be 240-320 dollars a month.  Not including rent, I estimate my cost of living is about 800 dollars per month.  That means if I got a part time job at Starbucks, I should be fine.  Might be saving.  After this next week, I’ll apply for other jobs.  However, I’ll actually go in when Adela takes Max to the groomers.  I won’t have to try to get him in a cage or anything.  Today, I’ll call. Hopefully at about 11 and let them know what’s up.  I’ll talk to the manager and introduce myself.  Let them know that I’m interested in a job there.

I’ll get a job.  Then I’ll brag about it.  It’ll be great.  Oh, and I could perhaps save money because I won’t have to eat here. Probably won’t eat out that much.  I don’t know.  If it’s like Dunkin, I’ll be fine unless they make me work mornings.  I SUCK at mornings.

When I worked nights at Dunkin (better than mornings) I usually slept when I got back.  Mornings?  I had to wake up immediately.  I had the sunrise to wake me up.  Problem is, I worked BEFORE sunrise and my alarm was unreliable.

Honestly… I loved working at Dunkin.  It had it’s moments where it sucked, but it was pretty fun.  They gave me free coffee and tea.  I hope they do that at Starbucks too.  Maybe discounted food.  Burgers. Drool

I mean… whatever.

I just realized that the money you’re using to buy pot?  You got that from selling your super prized computer.  Oof.  You sold everything for all of this.  In the end?  At least you’re a little high.

Sarcasm.  I’m suddenly more concerned.  Please tell me you’ll stop spending on such trivial bullshit.  Fucking pot is not worth the money.  :/ Whatever.  You won’t tell me that, even if you were talking to me.  You’re stubborn.  You get told to do one thing and you’ll do the opposite.  Human nature… don’t know why.  My dad used to have this small outhouse thing that was assembled by all these parts and had a mouse trap in it.  The mouse trap connected to the door.  When you opened th door to this little outhouse, it’d explode.  He LOVED it.  He put a little sign on front that said, “Don’t Open” because he understood people don’t listen to signs.  He got so many people with that fucking door. I want one.  I think I can find one on the internet.

I’ll call my dad tomorrow too, maybe.  I really should.  Anyways, I’m going to bed.  Talk to you when I wake up.  Alarm set for 10am. Going to call Starbucks at 11.  ;)

Before I go!  I asked my witch friend what the deal with brooms are. Apparently, they can clean up negative energy!  And brooms you make yourself has a connection and cleans energy better or something.  And it can determine people visiting and you put it upside down, it’ll prevent people from coming and if they do come then they’ll leave sooner.  And you can bless your vacuum to clean up negative energies. Just gotta empty it and take out the garbage IMMEDIATELY.  And apparently you can bless ROOMBA!!!  ROOMBA CAN COLLECT NEGATIVE ENERGY!!!  OMFG ROOMBA, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!!!  SAVE THIS HOUSE OF OURS!!!

Sorry.  Sleeping now.  Later.

Current time is seven in the morning… I’m so restless.  I hate it.  I think any optimism and positivity is fading.  I might return to my grumpy annoyed self, which is a shame.  Computer is mandatory restarting today.  I FUCKING hate that.  I have to save EVERYTHING. For what?  What update could I possibly need?

My dream was nice last night.  Very… arousing.  You were in it of course.  It ended with us skinny dipping.  In my dreams, you’re always so affectionate.  I miss that.  :/

Anyways… I realized that you blocking me wasn’t to start any drama.  You probably felt I was trying to show you how good everything was here. Try and convince you somehow.  I was posting a lot of pictures of Max.  Still do, mind you, but you don’t need that reminder.  You felt that I was trying to communicate with you through Facebook.  Not my intention.  Otherwise, I’d have to go back and change no contact days to limited contact.

Surprised you noticed. Alternatively, you could have just turned off my posts so you didn’t have to see them.  Idea probably didn’t occur to you.  Or maybe you wanted to send a message.  Unfortunately, that message would be open to interpretation.  If you read this, you’ll see I didn’t get the memo.  At least, probably not the one you mentioned.

I didn’t call Starbucks today.  Woke up too late.  I’ll stay up as long as possible and go to bed early.  Try and reset my schedule as best as possible.  I need to do this before Max is taken to the groomers.  I’ll get it figured out.  So tired though.

I need to message Shane.  See if he’s alright.  Might be the food he’s been eating.  :/

He’s okay.  Whatever he had passed.  I’m glad to hear.  Could have been something far worse.  However, I still believe he should go to the doctor’s but I won’t push it.  If I were inflicted with something similar and it went away, I wouldn’t want to go to the doctor’s either.  Literally, fuck American healthcare.  Nothing but bad times. -,-

So… It’s currently 6:20.  I bought a girl some food.  She’s the sort who normally says no.  I expected her to say no.  She said yes.  So, I ordered her a pizza.  She is one of the girls I’ve been flirting with.

The thought crossed my head that “What if she’s using me?” but then I came to the conclusion that, again, she’ not the type who’d say yes normally.  She’s pretty introverted.  Spends most her days working and going to class.  If I go back to visit, I’ll have to stop by and say hi to her in person.  There are some stories with her.  I’ll have to share them sometime with you.

I got kicked out of a homeless shelter for not attending their church service. UPDATED via /r/atheism

Submitted June 05, 2018 at 12:03AM by Sora33o (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2JuMOSu) I got kicked out of a homeless shelter for not attending their church service. UPDATED

This was about 4 years ago, I had recently been evicted from the house I was living in as the woman went crazy. I had been homeless for about a week and I was tired, hungry, and broke. Luckily I still had my car so I learned how to sleep in the front seat. It was early October so the nights were freezing cold, I spent many a night shivering in my seat as my car wasn't well insulated.

One day I went to the local community center and asked the coordinator where the local homeless shelters were. He told me the closest one was about 30 minutes away, in Pensacola. I drove there and went inside to get something to eat. After I ate, me and a couple of other newcomers went to the office to register as occupants of the homeless shelter. I quickly became friends with another homeless man who was a year younger than me. After we registered we were told to attend the last few minutes of the chapel service. After chapel we got ready for bed.

The next day me and my new friend Daniel decided to drive around Pensacola and look for jobs. When we got back it was already night. One of my coworkers who was also homeless asked if she could borrow my car to sleep in. I agreed and told her to stay in the parking lot across the street so I could find her if need be. After showering I took my medicine, (Seroquel 300mg), and layed down to go to sleep. For those of you who don't know Seroquel is a powerful sleep aid used for anti-psychosis. I had been suffering from severe mental illness and this medication was the only thing that helped. 20mg of Seroquel will knock you out in about 30 minutes, but my doctor had been prescribing me 300mg. That's enough to cause you to hallucinate if you don't get to sleep right away.

As soon as I layed down the chaplain in charge of the homeless shelter came over, nudged me and told me I had to go to chapel. I politely told him that I don't believe in that religion and to please leave me alone because I just took my medicine and needed to sleep. He told me I signed the form, (which we had to sign to be allowed on the property), saying I would attend the chapel services. I told him he couldn't force me to attend any religious services as that would go against the first amendment. He said he could do whatever he wanted because this was a private institution. I tried to tell him I couldn't go because I just took my medicine but he just shut me down and said I have two choices. I could either go to chapel or I could get out. I decided to leave and just go to sleep in my car. I got up out of the bed, took my things and walked out the door. While I was packing the chaplain left and was talking to the worker behind the counter about what had just happened. As I was leaving he looked at me, smiled and said, "Have a nice night", in a very sarcastic tone.

Before I left I asked my friend Daniel if he would like to go with me. He said he'd rather go with me than stay there alone so we left together. We headed towards the parking lot with the intention of sleeping in my car for the night, but we couldn't find my car anywhere. We looked all over the parking lot and couldn't find a trace of my car anywhere. I tried calling my coworker but she never picked up. While we were walking up and down the parking lot looking for my car, a policeman pulled up and started asking us questions. He didn't believe us when we told him we were homeless and looking for my car. After shining his flashlight in our faces and calling us derogatory names, he resumed his patrol of the parking lot.

We decided to walk to my coworkers friend's house, as she usually stays there. The house was a good 5 or 6 miles away so we started walking. She wasn't at the house so we decided to walk to the apartment where her son lives. The apartment was another 3 miles from the house so yet again we started walking. She wasn't at the apartment complex either, so we decided to walk to the local park and sleep. We were only there for about an hour before a couple of people came towards us and asked us what we were doing. We were scared that they would call the police on us so we left and started walking the streets. I started to feel really sick for some reason, (probably because of the cold and a mixture of stress and my medicine), so I had trouble walking. We were looking for a bathroom so I could throw up and we happened across a local strip club. I went in and asked the guy if I could use his restroom, and he said I couldn't because I was under 21. He asked if I was ok and if I needed an ambulance. I knew I couldn't afford an ambulance trip so I just left and told Daniel what happened. A few minutes later we actually saw an ambulance drive past us and stop at the strip club, I guess I must've looked pretty bad. I threw up on the sidewalk and we continued walking. We were exhausted and I was sick so we knew we had to find a place to sleep, and fast.

We came across a bridge that crossed some train tracks, and we decided to walk down the hill and see if it was suitable. The bridge was built so that underneath you had to climb up a cement hill to reach the top. When we reached the top we found square indents just large enough for a person to crawl into. I slept in one and Daniel slept in the other. I used my backpack as a pillow and poor Daniel had to use his hands. We fell asleep quickly, but after a few hours I was woken up by a passing train. I looked over at Daniel and from what I saw he wasn't breathing. I had more clothes on than him and he wasn't woken up by the train so my first thought was that he must have died. A few seconds later I fell back to sleep and had a terrible nightmare. Luckily Daniel woke me up and asked if I was feeling better. It was still dark out but I could see that he was ok. I told him that I thought that he died and he laughed and said he thought that I had died.

We both slid down the cement hill and walked back towards the parking lot. We looked for my car again in that parking lot, and the parking lot on the other side of the building, but still there was still no sign of my car anywhere. We walked to the local waffle house as it was the only place open and I sat down and went to sleep in one of the booths. The effects of Seroquel linger for quite a bit so I was still tired, also the train didn't help me sleep either. When I woke up Daniel had a huge smile on his face. He told me that he explained our situation to the employees and they gave him free food. He said he tried to wake me up but I was too tired to move. After a few minutes we left and walked to the Whataburger that was close to the parking lot so we could charge our phones while watching for my coworker.

Every half hour or so we would walk out to the parking lot and scan the area for my car. We did this for about 8 hours. The Whataburger employees were getting quite frustrated with us because we couldn't buy anything, but luckily my coworker showed up before they called anyone on us. When she finally showed up we both got in the car and I drove to the parking lot and we talked. I asked her why wasn't she in the parking lot like she said she would be, she insisted she was. I decided to just let it go because eventually I did get my car back, but to this day I still have no idea where she went. I also looked at my gas gauge and it was almost empty, even though I filled up the night before. I asked her why she didn't answer any of my calls, and she said she never got them. I checked my phone records and it said I called her over 100 times. Not only that but I remember some of the calls went straight to voicemail and it was her voice recording.

We spent the rest of the day applying for jobs around Pensacola. After I dropped her off at her friends house, I drove Daniel behind a building into a vacant lot and we went to sleep. I was homeless for about another 3 weeks but at least I had Daniel. He was there for moral support and to also pass the time with conversation while we looked for jobs. Our funds were limited so we had to really budget our expenses. Luckily Little Caesars has their $5 large pizza, so that was a lifesaver. Most of my money went towards gas for my car.

We went all the way from Pensacola to Fort Walton Beach looking for jobs. After we ran out of money, I told Daniel we had to go our separate ways. I told him that since he left the homeless shelter on his own accord, if he were to ask them, they would probably let him back in. I dropped him off at the entrance, and I haven't seen him since. I called him about a week later and he told me that they only let him stay for 3 days. They had a program where you could stay as long as you want if you had a job, but you had to give a certain percentage of what you made to the shelter. Daniel told them he was looking for a job, but they said he actually had to be employed to stay there. After I dropped Daniel off I drove without stopping back to Georgia to live with my parents. I found a job as a security guard and I am still employed today. My goal is to never be homeless again.

So what do you think? Was I wrong in not going to the chapel service? Should I have just went even though my medicine would have caused me to hallucinate?

DISCLAIMER: I actually had 2 jobs as a security guard the entire time I was homeless. The problem was the companies I worked for weren't very reputable so finding work was a nightmare. It was also winter in Florida so you have to realize that there weren't many places in need of security. Personally I think the chaplain was a complete hypocrite. Would Jesus have done the same thing in that situation? Do you think my first amendment rights were violated? What would you have done in this situation? Do you think it's fair that the homeless shelter only helps people who are actively employed or follow their religious beliefs? What if the tables were turned? What if I refused to let a homeless Christian stay in my shelter because he didn't attend a science seminar every night? Please leave your comments below.

Tl;Dr Christian pastor kicks me out of homeless shelter because I refused to attend his church service.

EDIT: The name of the homeless shelter is the Waterfront Rescue Mission in Pensacola Florida.

REASON WHY I UPDATED: 2 years ago Daniel died of a drug overdose and his girlfriend deleted his Facebook account. When I dropped Daniel off at the homeless shelter I had every intention of seeing him again, and we talked all the time even though I was back in Georgia with my parents. Daniel was a devout Christian, but the pastor didn't even let him stay there long enough to get his life together. I would give anything to have Daniel back in my life, but I can't change the past. He will however always remain my best friend, and if there is a Heaven I hope one day I will see him again. Now I am currently unemployed, broke, and in no better of a situation than I was then. My illness is crippling and the depression only makes it worse.

Thank you for reading!

ORIGINAL POST : https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/49ram1/i_got_kicked_out_of_a_homeless_shelter_for_not/

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Inspiration

*Nerd alert*

I have been following the photographer Chris Burkard for a while now, I came across one of his landscape photos on Instagram and have been following his work closely ever since. I'm always checking his Instagram story to see what new adventure he is on next and living vicariously through him. I remember four weeks ago, sitting at my kitchen table crying to my husband about how lost I felt. About how I have wasted so much time being afraid and just existing. I took out my phone and showed him Chris Burkard's current Instagram story at the time. He was on a sailboat in Iceland shooting with a group, and I told my husband "That's what I want." That's all I've ever wanted. Traveling and photographing has always been in the back of my mind, but I've always been too afraid to try, and just figured I'd never be good enough anyway, let alone be able to pull it off. But it always comes back to photography for me, doesn't it? Then my husband said, "So do it." We had some money saved up; I just went through a significant life change that gave me the time to pull it off...

so that was it. No more being too afraid or making excuses. And I did it! I planned it over the course of a week, I drove fifteen+  hours a day across the country, I camped in the Grand Canyon in Arizona, and then I hiked Mount Zion in Utah, and then drove home. Though I had a friend travel with me, I did a lot of hiking alone. (Elevation sickness is an evil thing! I feel so terrible that she was affected by it.) And it was such an enlightening and empowering experience. I overcame so many fears and doubts, all on my own. I met so many people that I enjoyed talking to and a few who changed my life. I don't know their names, they don't know mine or how much they affected me, but they did.

It just reaffirmed how badly that I want to travel, experience the world, and photograph it. I know it's going to be hard, but it's going to be worth it. I probably won't make any money. I'll probably struggle monetarily for a long time. But I can't keep pursuing things I'm not passionate about. I'm tired of this cycle. It's time to just go for it all head on, win or lose.

Shortly after I got home from my trip, I found out Chris Burkard would be coming to Florida during his U.S. tour for his documentary "Under an Arctic Sky". I knew I had to go after everything that has happened in the past three weeks. It was just another one of the many uncanny, serendipitous coincidences that have happened, lately, that I had to see through. So many things during this time have felt like they were just meant to happen.

The drive to Jacksonville was hard; I still had some mild PTSD from my road trip (specifically from the highway systems in Texas and the hail storm in New Mexico). Once we got into town, I had to pull over and let my husband David drive because I can't handle messy high way systems and sketchy big cities. It probably also didn't help that I hadn't eaten all day because I was saving my appetite for Davids favorite part of the trip - eating at Whataburger. Once we ate, I felt better, and then we headed to the library where they were showing the documentary. Once inside and we gave our tickets, we saw Chris there with his crew at a merch table. Seeing him there in person kind of made it that much more real; that these things I aspire to do are possible because he does them every day. (He nonchalantly said he's been to Iceland 28 times during his Q&A!!) I went to the table and picked up one of his books, and told him how he'd been a huge inspiration to me. He was super chill and sweet and offered to sign my book, and then I asked for a picture like a nerd.

His film was very informative and inspiring. The room was packed full of people with varying interests from surfing to photography. His documentary was about a trip he had been planning for years in order to find the perfect swell to surf in Iceland, and the trials and tribulations they faced getting there. When he finally found a connect (a captain) that would take him to this remote spot off the coast of Iceland, the captain gave him a week to get to Iceland and make it all happen. A week! And he did it.

However, they never actually made it to the island they were hoping for due to weather complications, considering they encountered Iceland's worst snow storm in 25 years. But they found so much more than what they were looking for and overcame so many obstacles, and actually made history in the surfing and film industry along the way.

I'm not a religious person, but I've been to church a handful of times from sleeping over at friend's houses as a kid. You know that eerie feeling when the whole sermon feels like it is directed towards you and your life? That's how I felt watching his film and listening to his Q&A. It was so incredibly reassuring. I realized that he was just another human being who took big risks and chased his dreams and continues to every day. It made me realize I have to stop getting in my own way and stop believing that I can't handle the stresses and pressures of it all and that I would never be good enough. I have this awful habit of reading way into things and thinking stuff like "He started when he was 19 and is this successful at 31. I'm only a few years away from that. It's too late for me." Or, "How the hell am I going to find these remote places or even get there like he does?  And not die from panic?" And I have to remind myself; I'm not trying to be exactly like those who inspire me. My goal at the moment is to see the world, take photographs, conquer my fears, write about it and hopefully inspire other people while doing so. Getting featured in a magazine would be cool, but I have to take it one step at a time and stop thinking so far ahead and psyching myself out. I have to keep in mind what I learned from my road trip - I can do anything I put my mind to, as long as I believe in myself and never give up.