#vlad magpyr
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Vlad looked imploringly at Agnes, and reached out to her.
"You wouldn't let them kill me, would you? You wouldn't let them do this to me? We could have...we might...you wouldn't, would you?"
The crowd hesitated. This sounded like an important plea. A hundred pairs of eyes stared at Agnes.
She took his hand. I suppose we could work on him, said Perdita. But Agnes thought about Escrow, and the queues, and the children playing while they waited, and how evil might come animal sharp in the night, or grayly by day on a list...
"Vlad," she said gently, looking deep into his eyes, "I'd even hold their coats."
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
#vlad magpyr#agnes nitt#perdita#carpe jugulum#discworld#terry pratchett#vampires#witches#justice#mercy#judgment#boundaries#gaslighting#feminism#persuasion#relationships#how evil might come#hold their coats
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Vlad de Magpyr: So I can't persuade you to become one of us, Agnes?
Agnes:
[gif from Karolina Żebrowska's "send this to an unwanted suitor without context"]
#discworld#gnu terry pratchett#meme#discworld meme#created by yours truly#carpe jugulum#lancre witches#witches#agnes nitt#vlad de magpyr#dress history meme#karolina zebrowska#meme mom
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Twilight would've been a bit different if it were Agnes Nitt and Vlad de Magpyr instead of Bella and Edward...
#discworld#carpe jugulum#vlad de magpyr#agnes nitt#perdita#granny weatherwax#nanny ogg#witches#vampres
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Okay, but now I want a Vlad de Magpyr/Agnes Nitt/Mightily Oats Disc-trotting love triangle set a few years after Carpe Jugulum.
Agnes is on tour. Vlad is grounded. Mightily is doing the Solomon Kane thing.
Vlad uses magpies to deliver flowers to Agnes, and at least once, a diaphanous silk nightdress (underwired) that she thinks was delivered to the wrong room. He also has them steal any letters from Mightily they notice.
Mightily hears about large groups of magpies in a town where Agnes will be singing. He intercepts Vlad (with an axe) attempting the Sneak In the Open Window routine. He mails the ashes back to Uberwald. With a pamphlet. He stays for Agnes’ show.
Meanwhile Agnes is mostly unaware of this stupid rivalry (Perdita is not), and convinced she’ll be the Maiden for the rest of her life, cause let’s face it Granny will never die.
Though she does appreciate the rare letter from Mightily or mysterious magpie-delivered posy.
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Next tournament announcement!
Hear ye, hear ye!
The next tournament will be the
Lancre and the Chalk Characters Tournament!!
This tournament will feature side characters from all Witches and Tiffany Aching books EXCEPT any witches (because we already had that tournament!)
We're going to add a few characters that aren't from Lancre or the Chalk but do feature as side characters in Witches books, such as Ella Saturday and Walter Plinge, as "honorary Lancrastrians/Chalk inhabitants".
I'll post the current list under the readmore; please let me know who else to put in there - we have too many for a 16 character bracket, but not enough yet for a 32 character one. It's in alphabetical order, not any kind of seed order. Put the characters that you think should be in here too in the replies, send me an ask, whatever works for you!
Baron Saturday
Casanunda
Daft Wullie
Duchess Felmet
Duke Felmet
Ella Saturday
Greebo
Hodgesaargh
Jason Ogg
Jeannie, kelda of the Feegles
Mightily Oats
Mr Pounder
Mr. Salzella
Rob Anybody
Roland de Chumsfanleigh (Pronounced Chuffley - it's not his fault)
Shawn Ogg
Toad (from the Tiffany Aching books)
Verence II
Vlad de Magpyr
Walter Plinge
#not a bracket#bracket prep#discworld tournament#discworld brackets#discworld bracket#discworld polls#discworld poll#lancre and the chalk
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This is one of those moments that make me go "oooooooooh! 🎉"
Sir Terry Pratchett saw the "I can change him" line and said fuck that.
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Vlad de Magpyr
Son of Count and Countess de Magpyr and brother to Lacrimosa. A very attractive young-looking man (barely 200 years old) with an infectious grin and a ponytail. He favors the ‘New Romantic’ look.
--Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs, “The Ankh-Morpork Archives”
(illustration by Paul Kidby)
(Still love the fact that this dude who’d be the love interest or sexy hero of any vampire romance novel got rejected by Agnes Nitt because she has standards too high for a bloodsucking jerk. Good for you Agnes.)
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Why would you want to fuck Vlad de Magpyr when Maledict/a exists is my question.
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Fantasy Casting for Carpe Jugulum
For some alternate universe in which all actors are alive and at the right ages at the same time.
Agnes Nitt: Amber Riley or Adele
Rev. Mightily Oats: Riz Ahmed
King Verence II: Zach Woods
Magrat: Angel Coulby
Nanny Ogg: Miriam Margolyes
Granny Weatherwax: Maggie Smith
Count de Magpyr: Raul Julia
Countess de Magpyr: Rose Byrne
Vlad de Magpyr: Tom Hiddleston
Lacrimosa de Magpyr: Cara Delevigne
Bela de Magpyr (”The Old Count”): Christopher Lee
Igor: Burn Gorman
The Nac Mac Feegle: Stephen Farrelly + motion capture
Shawn Ogg: Rupert Grint
and a cameo from Peter Dinklage as Casanunda
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I don't get it. I promised miss Nitt everlasting life, a complete makeover and took her for a romantic flight over the Lancre Gorge, and yet YOU'RE the one she makes socks for? Please tell me your secret. T_T -Vlad de Magpyr
“Maybe don’t try to buy her affections with promises and frightful experiences. She doesn’t like vampires. You might be fishing in the wrong pond to begin with.”
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"What's a little blood, for the good of the community? Of course Verence will have to be demoted a little but, let's face it, the man is rather more of a clerk than a king. And...our friends may find us grateful. What is the point of resisting?"
"Are vampires ever grateful?"
"We can learn."
"You're just saying that in exchange for not actually being evil you'll simply be bad, is that it?"
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
#vlad magpyr#agnes nitt#king verence ii#carpe jugulum#discworld#terry pratchett#vampires#politics#ethical dilemma#friends#grateful#evil#morality#in exchange#the point of resisting
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#discworld#gnu terry pratchett#meme#discworld meme#created by yours truly#witches#carpe jugulum#magpyr#vlad de magpyr#chauncey badminton#badminton#ofmd#ofmd meme#our flag means death meme#our flag means death
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"Most people put up with most things, Agnes."
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
#agnes nitt#vlad magpyr#carpe jugulum#discworld#terry pratchett#witches#vampires#philosophical differences#psychology#tendencies#people#fear response#most people#most things#sad but true
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"You mean vampirism is like...pyramid selling?" said Agnes. [...]
"I'm sorry?" said Vlad. "Who sells pyramids?"
"No, I mean... you bite five necks, and in two months' time you get a lake of blood of your very own?"
He smiled, but a little cautiously. "I can see we will have a lot to learn," he said. "I understood every word in that sentence, but not the sentence itself."
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
#agnes nitt#vlad magpyr#carpe jugulum#discworld#terry pratchett#vampires#pyramid scheme#communication#miscommunication#translation#relationships#learning#words#understanding#cultural differences#the modern vampyre#who sells pyramids#we have a lot to learn
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This book had no business being this good. I'm losing my mind.
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I am currently reading Carpe Jugulum and I love that Granny Weatherwax is mostly absent for 100 pages and yet we can feel her presence. Every character keep asking and wondering where she is and admits they need her. This feels like a love letter to Granny and I wonder if it has any connection with this being the last witches book before Tiffany Aching (which I heard has Granny in it).
I am also really enjoying the dynamic between Vlad and Agnes. I love when fictional men are interested in a woman that kicks their ass. Also, comparing this to Twilight is hilarious because Vlad is also like "you are special. I can't control you. Why is that? This is exciting" and Agnes is having none of that after knowing he is a vampire. Everytime they encounter each other Vlad doesn't miss an oportunity to talk to her and figure her out which is both funny and creepy. That scene where everyone was listening to the awful piano music as if it was the most beautiful song was amazing.
So far, I am really love this vampire family as villains. It's not often that Discworld villains have impact on me to be honest. In most cases I forgot about them, but Teatime was fantastic, the Witches Abroad villain was surprising and Maskerade's one was interesting but just a guy and now there's the Magpyr family. I wonder what other great Discworld villains are there to be discovered. The elves had potential but I found them lacking a bit.
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