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ssixa · 3 years

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CHANCE ENCOUNTER//MARK TUAN X Y/N

Description: Walking into the night shift at the hospital proves to keep you on your toes. Nights are left to the universe so you can only hope that tonight will be decent. What happens when you find out that one of your patients is THE Mark Tuan from GOT7? how do you try to deal with the chaos erupting from this chance encounter? and how many times do you have to tell yourself that you love your job?

Genre: fluff, slight cringe, smut (in this chapter)

Pairing: Black Fem Reader x Mark Tuan (though I will say there isn’t much description of black characteristics)

Word count: 5.7K

Warning: explicit language, SMUT!!!!!!, mention of piercings, drinking, switch, slight restraining, breath play

A/n: sorry for the hella late post! I got in this solid routine of studying and I didn’t want to break my stride with it lol. This is the first legit smut scene I’ve written before the narrative about Narachan that I posted. I’m still not very good at writing smut though, but I enjoyed writing from the y/f/n pov!

*All pic collages are made by me unless I state otherwise. Individual pictures in the collage are not mine and I give credit to where credit is due.

Chapter Eight

~y/f/n’s POV~

I opened up Yug’s profile and clicked chat.

“I can’t believe this bitch, imma kill her one day. But I’m happy, a little more happy then I thought I would be. How do I even start to message him? Why am I so nervous he’s a crackhead fetus. Ok, here we go” I thought to myself.

“Heyyy it’s y/f/nnnn” damn too many y’s

“Um hey y/f/n nuna” he replies almost instantly with a nervous emote

“Yug, sweetheart you don’t have to call me nuna, y/f/n is just fine” I respond slightly flirtily

“Oh ok...y/f/n. Um~” he responds

“Yes?” I respond already having a hopes of what he’s going to ask

“I was just wondering if you wanted to come hang out with me at the hotel? I fully understand if you don’t want to though and you would much rather stay with y/n” he sends with almost a nervous sense.

“I don’t mind as long as I’m not interrupting your rest time” I reply back just being certain

“Oh no you’re not interrupting, I invited you didn’t I?”

“True, well I guess y/n can drop me off at the hotel then. You can go ahead and send the address to her”

“Yes ma’am hahaha”. Wow this boy has no limits, this will be an interesting night. I look to y/n who is on her phone purging the bad pics and videos from the concert.

“Yo y/n, Yug said he’ll send the address of the hotel to you. You can drop me off there and go to your boo” I laughed

“Lol ok ok...Mrs. Kim” I joke

“Well said Mrs. Im” we broke out in laughter. What a circumstance we’re in. y/n starts the car and we leave heading towards the hotel. We keep ourselves occupied with small chatter back and forth when it occurred to me,

“Wait I just realized, when the boys were coming over to our side during the concert, was that because of you?” I ask

“Yup, apart from Mark, that was the first time they had ever seen me in real life. So I guess they just wanted to be idiots” y/n replies with a laugh. The drive wasn’t long, but that’s probably because we talked the whole time. We arrived at the entrance of the hotel and I texted Yugyeom that I was here.

“Ok, go ahead and head to the 7th floor. Room 723” he replied almost instantly

“Gotcha” I replied. I said goodbye to y/n and walked inside. I headed to the elevator and walked in. I hit the seventh floor button and rode my way up. I took some deep breaths going up and until I was standing in front of his room. I knocked lightly and I heard footsteps rushing towards the door. A moment later, the door opens and I’m met with Yug’s adorable face. His smile is wide and he invites me in. After closing the door, he heads into the room and awkwardly stands a bit away from me. The air is full of an awkward silence until I speak up,

“Um do you mind if I take a seat?” I ask kind of nervously

“S-sure here” he points to the bed and neatens it up before I take a seat.

“I guess that’s his bed huh” I think

“D-do you want something to drink? The boys and I went out together yesterday and I bought some drinks in case I had some time to enjoy it” he mentioned

“Oooo what kind?” I ask since I was in the mood for some drinks tonight anyways

“Some flavored soju” he says with a smile

“Perfect! Then of course! Can we also play some games too?” I ask excitedly

“Yes! I love games! What do you want to play?”

“Mmm, how about we start off with cham cham cham? Do you mind if we take a couple of shots first” I suggest excitedly.

“OK!” he jumps up and grabs the drinks from the minifridge. He grabs a couple solo cups and returns to the bed. He pours a shot's worth into both of our cups and we take the shot together. He asked me what type of drinking games Americans play and I gave him a few ideas.

“We have games like flip cup, beer pong, or even a card game like Uno” I relay

“Oh wow! Can we play one of those games?”

“We can play beer pong since we can play it with two people, but if the others get back we can play flip cup! It’s one of my favorites and super fun too!”

We continue small banter back and forth and we are a few shots in when we decide to start the game. I guess it’s because he plays this a lot more than me that Yug is really good at the game. I lose a good few times and the penalty is taking a shot or a flick on the forehead. We decided to make it more interesting and cut up slips of paper and put ‘F’ for flick and ‘S’ for shot. We grabbed an empty cup and threw the slips in it so whenever one of us loses, we shake it up, pick a slip, and do what is on it. It was my idea for this since we could easily drink all the alcohol he had.

The game continued on with shots here and flicks here. A little while later, I could tell that we were both pretty tipsy; not super drunk, but gone enough to become really comfortable with each other. It was my turn at the game to cham cham cham him and he ended up seeing past my trick and dodging the direction my hand went. Next was his, he ended up winning so I had to take my draw from the penalty cup. To my demise, I ended up picking F which caused me to hide the slip. Yugyeom caught on to my sneakiness and asked to see the slip.

“y/f/n, let me see the slip!” he says laughing

“Noooo!” I reply in a laughing

“Come oOooOOoOnnnn” he pleaded

“Nope nope nope” I replied, shaking my head. My mother always told me my stubbornness would get me into trouble. I jumped to the other bed in the room trying to avoid Yugyeom. He got up and chased me there, I dodge him and roll off the bed jumping to his. No wonder he’s the main dancer because he changes direction and heads towards his bed. He hopped on top and fought to grab the slip out of my hands. I tried my best to keep it away from him, but all things considered, let's just say I lost.

After we were done cutting up and trying to catch our breath is when I realized what position we were in. My back was against the headboard with my legs crossed while he leaned over me pinning my arms above my head with one hand. It’s when I finally opened and focused my eyes that I realized he was staring at me. His eyes looked glazed yet so dark. His nose and cheeks slightly tinted with a light shade of pink though I was unsure if it was because he’s embarrassed or because he was drunk. The contact remained persistent for only a few more seconds when he suddenly bent down and connected our lips. His lips were so soft and warm. The kiss was long and innocent and yet had me holding my breath.

He broke the kiss and had both of our lungs trying to recapture the air that wasn’t breathed in. His facial expression changed suddenly

“I-I’m so sorry y/f/n” he said with a sense of panic. I couldn’t even react properly, I just kept staring causing him to panic more. He quickly pushed off of me and scooted to the end of the bed.

“I don’t why I did that! I must have drunk too much..” he continued to panic and ramble on as I sat up.

“Yug, it’s ok, really, it was nice” I look to him trying to calm him down with a gentle smile

“I know I should’ve asked and not just done it, I-” he paused

“You- it was nice?” he asks surprised at your choice of words

“Yeah~ you did catch me by surprise, but it was a nice surprise” I said quietly

“T-then would you-” he stammered

“Yes” I answered

“You didn’t even know what I was going to ask” he laughed slightly

“Then what were you going to ask then” I say with a smirk

“W-would you want to continue?” he asks without making much eye contact. Scared that your previous answer was going to change.

“Yes Yug. I told you I knew what you were about to ask” I laughed

“Hahaha I guess you did”

“Well then, are you going to come back here” I ask

“Anything for you” he replies as he slowly crawls back to me and centers himself between my legs. He closes in again where our lips are barely inches apart, but only a second later does he close the gap between us once again. Our lips move hungrily against each other, almost like he hasn’t had a sensation like this in a while if not ever. The kiss stayed heated and I tried to reach out to touch him in any way I could, but he tightened his grip on my wrists..

“Yug, please let go of my wrists” I beg

“I don’t think I will, baby girl” he replies lowly. The effect of the new nickname did it’s job in making me know my place. I find it hard to believe that he’s younger than me and yet he is this dominant. Then again I shouldn’t be surprised that the main dancer has a different personality. That’s one thing I’ve learned from being a kpop fan for so long. You can never trust these “sexy on stage” idols; them mostly being the main dancers at that. We go back to making out when he uses his free hand to slowly lift my shirt. I froze. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep with him it was that I couldn’t imagine that the person I was hooking up with WAS him. I started this day off going to the concert with my best friend only to find out she’s best friend’s with the group, and is now dating the leader.

“Like damn, I really be living the “y/n” life right now” I think. Before I knew it, he somehow managed to pull my shirt over my head and now I was just sitting there in my bra and skirt. When I looked at his face, it showed no emotion, almost disappointed.

“W-what?” I ask nervously with obvious concern in my voice. I start to panic, normally I’m really bold with my foot always forward and my head high, but his gaze and just who he is...what the hell has this child done to me. I look down to see if there was something wrong and look back up when I don’t see off. When I look back into his eyes, he’s just staring at me.

“Yug...you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“You’re..just so…” he starts

“Yug don’t you fucking dare” I say almost angrily.

“...beautiful” he concludes. I thought he was going to say something else before I warned him, but when I looked at his eyes, all it showed was the most sincerity in the world. The black glaze from earlier was gone and his beautiful brown eyes sparkled like they just gazed upon the most beautiful picture in the world. He leaned back in starting to kiss my lips once more then making his way down to my neck and truthfully I can’t tell if there will be a mark left after this. Goosebumps start to form as he keeps moving down onto my shoulders. Light, yet warm kisses coated my skin that was left bare to the air conditioned room. He got down to my chest where he was able to unsnap my bra from the back which REALLY led me to think that he wasn’t as inexperienced as he looks. My thoughts were suddenly brought out of its state of euphoria when I heard a gasp. I snap my head up,

“Fuck...how many piercings do you have?” he questioned

“Oh sweetheart there’s more to come” I comment with a smirk

“Will I have a chance to see them?” he questioned a slight smirk and raised eyebrow

“Anything for you” I wink. What the hell is wrong with me. This isn’t like me at all! I’m never this cheesy when it comes to getting my back blown out, but I just can’t figure this kid out. One moment he looks like he could devour me whole, while the next he looks like a kid in a candy store.

“That’s all I needed to hear princess” he says with his voice almost significantly deeper than usual. He goes to suck on one of the nipples while kneading the other and the pleasure is beyond the roof. I let out a soft moan which wasn’t soft enough because his actions suddenly changed. The hand kneading the one breast made its way down my stomach and to the edge of the skirt. He pushes back,

“Now, I’m going to release your hands and I’m going to need you to take off your skirt for me. Why don’t you be a good girl and do that for me?” he says

“Ok...but” you start

“I can’t be the only one fully naked out here. At least take off your shirt” you conclude. Finally, after this whole night since the concert ended, you’re showing signs of yourself once again.

“Whatever you want sweetheart” he complied, releasing your hands. You get off the bed causing a look of confusion. You turn towards him and put your hands behind your back. You slowly start undoing the zipper at the back and you see the realization suddenly hit his eyes. He sits at the edge of the bed leaning back using his arms as support, enjoying the show that he knows is only for him. As I start shimming out of the skirt and seeing his eyes watch where my hands are, I stop.

“Why’d you stop?” he questions

“Last I checked, I said I wasn’t going to be the only one without clothing” I relay

“Sorry, just enjoying the show. I hate missing good moments of a great movie” he winked

“Well looks like you hit the rewind button” I comment pulling my skirt back up and reaching for the zipper.

“Oof you’re really going to make this a fun time huh?” he laughs

“Of course” I wink. He stands up and removes his shirt showing his pale yet fit self. You just stand there gazing as this boy built for the demigods. That’s when you truly realize that god truly picks favorites, though I know he’s worked hard for that body.

“Like what you see?” he slyly says

“Who wouldn’t” I replied without looking back up. It didn’t take you long to rid yourself of your skirt. Though he was still wearing more clothes than you were, it still felt better that he didn’t have a shirt. This wasn’t a moment of teasing during a concert where it is only a moment that a shirt gets raised, this is close to permanent and with more purging of clothing coming down the road. You both stood there just looking each other in the eyes. A deep breath held by much tension was let out and that’s when Yugyeom picked me up behind the knees and laid me down on the bed.

It wasn’t a foreign fact that his hard on was rubbing against my clothed core. He knew exactly what he was doing, he grinded harder and I let out a subtle moan. He dragged one of his hands down my sides and past my underwear. He rubbed my clit in circular motions with just the right amount of pressure. His index finger slid down my slit, teasing my opening

“Fuck Yug, please” I begged.

“Damn you’re so wet” he seeths. Luckily he wasn’t fully ignoring my pleas. He slipped his finger in and slowly started pumping. The moans that left me could not be described with words. He easily found the one spot that could ruin me and made sure to hit it. Suddenly, he slides in a second finger. I let out a louder moan than before and continued to receive the pleasure he had been giving. He pumped harder and rubbed my clit faster and the tension in my stomach kept building,

“Fuck I’m close daddy” I moaned out. My eyes shot open in realization of the word that just left my mouth

“What did you just say?” he says in a low voice

“N-nothing” I squeaked out avoiding eye contact with him

“Say..It” he growled in what I would’ve thought a demon would sound like.

“D-daddy” he said quietly

“Louder” he commanded

“Daddy” I muttered slightly louder and more boldly. This I knew about myself; this daddy kink has always been a thing about me, but I have never uttered that word from just finger play and even someone younger than me.

“Now what would you like daddy to do? Hm?”

“Please, I’m so close”

“As you wish sweetheart” he replies. He throttles the two fingers back into my warmth and curves his fingers up; with his thumb back on my clit. Knowing exactly where to hit, I let out a loud moan. My respirations grew deeper and faster as he kept pumping. The tension built more and more until I couldn’t bare it anymore.

“Fuck fuck fuck” I moan out. My body erupts in spasms almost immediately and it takes a minute for me to calm back down. My breaths slow as I catch my breath and realize how this might look. I couldn’t think of how I might look and I shield my face.

“Why are you covering your face?” Yugyeom lightly chuckles

“I probably look a mess right now” I reply back

“y/f/n, you look beautiful” he compliments removing my hands from my face. He lays down beside me, almost exhausted himself.

“Why are you the one that’s tired? You weren’t the one that just got finger fucked” I laugh

“Seeing you like this, truthfully takes my breath away...and you forget that we just performed a two and a half hour concert” he replies back jokingly

“Wow ok cringe, and that makes sense” I reply back. I lay to my side and he pulled me into his chest.

“Don’t you want a turn?” I ask after a moment of silence

“Nah I’m fine. Let’s just lay here” he says soothingly. Now, I know better and though I’m sensitive and truthfully tired, he seems to have unfinished business that is screaming to be dealt with. I slowly start moving my butt against him trying to gain a reaction from him. He slightly growls,

“W-what are you doing?” he asks nervously

“You seem to have some unfinished business and I just wanted to solve it for you” I replied. I started moving faster as I feel him growing harder and...bigger?

“Y-y/f/n” he moans out

“Now tell me what you want baby boy?” I reply back slightly

“P-please…” he sputtered

“Please what? Use your words” I state. I was happy that I was finally getting back to my regular self.

“Please, I need you” was all I needed. I turned to face him and pulled my arm down to his crotch. My hand grabbed his covered member and started slowly massaging it. He let out a small moan, but tried to keep it suppressed. I was determined now to make him moan louder. I put my hand in his sweats and realized

“No underwear?”

“Well they tend to be a little constricting so I choose not to wear them when I don’t have to” he mumbles out. I nod understanding his position. Hell, I understand because I hate wearing a lot of clothes when I’m at home. I grab his member and start pumping slowly. His breaths were getting deep so I decided to switch my tactic. I turned him on his back and got between his legs. I grabbed his waistband of his light gray sweatpants and slowly started inching them down. Throughout this whole process, my eye contact never left his. His stare was so innocent and his face was obviously getting red. I locked my eyes back on his pants once they were pulled far enough. His hard member shot up finally being set free from the constraints of the waistband.

He was a decent size, not super big but not small either. It stood boldly and was already slightly oozing with precum. I knew better than to gawk because he might take the opportunity to take control back and I sure in hell wasn’t going to let that happen again. I pumped him more and lowered my mouth to it. I start to bob my head up and down at a steady pace. A string of curse words made their way out of his mouth along with some moans as well. I kept bobbing and stroking his member for a little while longer until I felt him jerk his hips up. I hold them down preventing him from bucking them up again. I do help further the pleasure by hitting the back of my throat a little more often than before. He tried grabbing my hair and I decided to hold down his arms. That proved to be pointless since he was a lot stronger than me.

I released his member from my mouth and he snapped his head up.

“Why did you stop?” he wined

“I can’t have you grabbing my hair now can I?” I comment

“S-sorry” he apologizes

“No~ that won’t work now will it” I smirk. I got off the bed and looked around for a second until I found what I was looking for. I went to his luggage, opened it, and started looking through it.

“What are you doing?” Yugyeom questioned

“Just looking for something...found it!” I exclaim. I turn around and hold up two belts with a smirk on my face.

“W-what are you going to do with those?” he shockingly asks with wide eyes

“This will keep those lovely hands of yours to yourself” I reply

“Fuck, this is going to drive me insane not being able to touch you” he sighs

“Mmmm, I’m going to enjoy this” I say as I get back on the bed and straddle him. Luckily, and unusually, the hotel beds here came with a “usable” bed frame. I grabbed one of his arms and pulled it back. I tied one belt around his wrist then around the bed post frame. I grabbed the other arm and did the same. This is one thing I can say I’m good at, though I don’t think girl scouts taught us tying skills to be used for this reason. After making sure the belts were nice and tight, I went back to being stationed between his legs. I place my mouth back on his stiff member and my hand at his base helping me pump as I suck. He moans more than before and I guess it’s because of being restrained that causes it.

“Fuck I’m so close, keep going, I’m so fucking close” he moans out. I picked up my pace to get him to reach his climax. Only a few seconds later do I feel his hips bucking up, hot liquid shoot to the back of my throat along with a string of curses. I milk him for all he’s worth taking my time to look at his face curling in pleasure. I release him and crawl my way up to his face. He opened his eyes and we made eye contact. I swallowed the liquid and used my finger to swipe my bottom lip showing that I would leave nothing of his wasted.

“Fuck...I can’t….fuck” he mumbles. I smirk as I scooted to get off of him, fully satisfied by my accomplishment. That was short lived when I realized that his member was still slightly erect.

“I see that someone isn’t satisfied quite yet” I laugh

“What can I say, you have me horny as fuck” he replies with a sigh

“Well we can’t have that, now can we” I smirk. I get off the bed and remove my underwear that proves to be pointless at this point. I get back on top of him and center myself above his member. As I began to lower myself down, he stopped me

“Wait I think there’s a condom in my bag” he states

“Don’t worry, I’m on birth control” I state. With a breath, I slowly let myself down onto his member. We both let out moans of pleasure as I was being filled and he was being enveloped around my walls.

“Fuck, y/f/n, you’re so tight. god you feel incredible” he moans out

“Yug you feel so good, fuck” I moan out as well. I give myself a little time to adjust from being stretched out so suddenly. Once I felt settled I started moving slowly. More strings of moans were let out by the both of us. Yug tried to reach out, but groaned out of anger forgetting he was restrained.

“Damn, y/f/n let me out of these. They’re driving me insane” he uttered angrily

“Hmm we’ll see, I quite enjoy this” I laughed. To increase the torture I decided to pause for a moment.

“Why did you stop?” he growled. I said nothing and just looked him in the eye. I put my hands on my boobs and slowly started massaging them. I slowly started moving my hips back and forth trying to stimulate myself as much as possible. I threw my head back in pleasure that I was inducing myself. Yug was struggling to rid his arms of the restraints,

“Shit, take these things off of me. I can’t stand it, FUCK I can’t touch you” he angrily says. Seeing him struggle and beg just turns me on even more. I think it’s because of how much he exudes big dick energy, that seeing how he looks so vulnerable had me at my wits end.

“Fuck, please!” he begs

“Damn, ok. I bet your arms are tired” I slightly give in. I lift up off him and go to untie his hands. As I release the second arm, I realize my mistake; maybe I riled him up a little too much. He suddenly pulled me on the bed and flipped me over with my arms yet again trappe above my head. My eyes were wide and my heart racing fast,

“Sweetheart, you made daddy very mad by all the teasing” he commented with his eyes covered by his bangs. Damn he looks hot.

“Oh did I?” I say with an innocent look

“Don’t play innocent sweetheart, you knew exactly what you were doing and now you’re going to pay for it” he says with a growl. He grabs my arms and one of the belts and ties them up. Well played Yug, well played. He leans over me and without warning, shoves his member into me.

“FUCK, SHIT!!” I scream out. He thrusts at a sporadic pace that drove me crazy. I knew this was payback and I greatly regretted torturing him earlier. He was missing my g-spot intentionally every now and then and it was driving me up the wall. He reached his hands up to my boobs and started massaging them while he started grinding at a slower pace. I moaned out in pleasure and I could see a smirk form on his face

“Damn, do you feel that good?” he cocks. Nothing but a string of moans leave my mouth as a response.

“So how does my princess want me to continue?” he asks continually grinding into me

“Please...harder...harder” I reply

“Harder what beautiful?”

“Please harder daddy”

“As you wish my queen” he replies. Damn that new name change just increased this ecstasy. He did as he was told and went harder.

“Fuck I’m so close Yug” I moan out

“Me...too” he moaned out a reply. He slowly slid his hand up around my throat and slightly squeezed unexpectedly which caught me by surprise. My eyes crept open making direct eye contact with him

“Yug…” I squeak. His eyes are dark and lustful, but it was almost like he was broken out of a trance, he snatched his hand away and halted his movements altogether.

“y/f/n, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I...I..” he panicked

“Yug, it’s ok. Shit it was hot please keep going I’m so close” I assure him

“A-are you sure?” he looks with such innocent eyes

“Yug I swear If you don’t finish what we started I will end you” I threaten

“Alright alright” he says as he leans back down to kiss my lips. He started to pound into me quickly and without warning or hesitation again . He returned his hand back to my throat and after the two words of “I’m close” slipped my lips, he started to squeeze harder. I could tell he was reaching his climax due to his movements getting sloppy and the rhythm being less consistent. Deep moans rung throughout the room as we both hit our climaxes. The constriction around my neck really made it all the more euphoric. He thrusted his hips a few more times helping me ride out my high. After a few deep breaths were given out before Yugyeom collapsed beside me.

“Oh my god…” he says still trying to regain the lost air

“...that was amazing,” I finished. We turned to look at each other and he leaned down giving a long kiss to my sweaty forehead. He pulls me into his chest and I feel my eyes getting heavy.

“You getting sleepy?” Yugyeom softly speaks up

“Mmm” was all I could respond

“Do you want to get cleaned up a little first?” he suggests

“I know I should, but I’m so lazy now” I whine in almost a sleep type manner

“Here let me help you” he responds. I feel the dip in the bed disappear and I force my eyes slightly open. Before my brain could comprehend what was going on, I felt my body being lifted off the bed.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaim in a slight chuckle

“We both need to freshen up anyways and…” he draws out

“And what?” I look at him in confusion

“Well, I don’t think Mark hyung would be appreciative of us stinking up the place” he laughs

“True he would probably stop rooming with you during tours” I laugh as we proceed to the bathroom.

“I can’t have that!! I get really lonely during tours and no one else wants to share a room but he’s the only one that doesn’t mind” he fake cries. (V Live, 05122018; http://kpopherald.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=201805131852414957228_2)

“You cry baby” I laugh while lightly hitting him on his shoulder

“Do you mind putting me down? You’ve been standing in the bathroom, holding me in this bridal style for the past 10 minutes” I continue

“Nope, this is nice” he grins, but puts me down into the already filling bathtub...wait...when did he even do this? Oh well nevermind. I see him grab some soap he brought from the sink and pour it into the bathtub. I’m surprised, and also not, that this man would enjoy bubble baths, but I can’t complain, who doesn’t like bubble baths. After pouring a decent amount in, he hops in and sits behind me. We sit in the quietness of the bathroom with the warmth of the water and our bodies keeping us comfortable. We continued small banter back and forth until we decided that it was time for us to get out and dry ourselves off.

Yugyeom told me to wait as he ran into the room and came back with one of his shirts for me to wear. I threw it on as he put on his own clothes as well. We went back in the room and Yugyeom jumped in the bed while I headed to the window.

“What are you doing?” Yugyeom looks over to ask

“Opening the window, this place might need a little airing out. Let’s spare Mark the details” I laugh

“Makes sense, but sometimes I like to bully hyung. I’ll refrain this one time though” he laughs. I laugh along as I return to the bed after opening the window. Luckily, it was a cool night so leaving the window open wouldn’t be too much trouble. We cuddled together and I could feel some heavy breathing from behind me. I turn around, and smile slightly to see he’s fast asleep. He looks so precious and cute it’s crazy to think that this same boy was the same one who went crazy down on me earlier. I turn back around to have my back against his chest when I hear my phone go off. I reach and answer it,

“Bbbiiittcchhh you done getting your back blown out?!” I hear y/n scream through the phone

“y/n you drunk?” I ask laughingly

“Well of course! Now ANSWER MY QUESTION!” y/n sasses

“Yes we’re done lol. I was just about to fall asleep when you called. Now I’m pretty sure you’re too drunk to drive back to my place so you spending the night with your new boo?” I ask slightly groggily

“Good! I made sure the dinner lasted a little while longer, so you’re welcome. And yes! They’re letting me head to JB’s room first to avoid any suspicion and he would follow me in later” y/n rambles on

“That’s nice, well a bitch is getting tired so imma have to talk to you later”

“OKIE DOKIE GOOD NIGHT!!!” y/n replies and hangs up the phone. I place my phone back on the nightstand and cuddle back into Yug before drifting off to sleep.

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#kpop smut #kpop fluff #got7 mark #got7 yugyeom #got7 jaebum #got7 jackson #got7 bambam #got7 youngjae #got7 jinyoung #idol au

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horansqueen · 4 years

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AM Conversations : chapter 35

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: i feel like not many things happened and i’m sorry. i promise more will happen asap. more smut too. there will be some in the next chapter and some also in chapter 38 or something. more things will happen and at some point i’ll skip a few weeks too. i just want to show that theyre getting closer and closer with time. i really hope this chapter isnt a disappointment. here are the ‘requests’ i added btw. (i know theyre not exactly what was asked but hey, i tried lol)

Chapter 35 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

We were all talking and laughing as gifts were exchanged but most of the time, my eyes would go back to look at Niall, sitting on the couch, legs spread, in his black pants, dress shirt and tie. I felt so happy to be with him at this exact moment in this specific place and surprisingly, he seemed just as happy as i was. It was hard to believe and if someone had told me that I would be dating Niall by now, I would have laughed, but it was true, it was now my reality, and I never thought my reality could be my dream coming true.

He caught me looking at him and raised his eyebrows with a smirk. I smiled more, feeling slightly embarrassed, and looked down before looking back up in his eyes. I never wanted this to end. I jumped slightly when Theo sat on my lap and chuckled a bit, wrapping my arms around him and kissing the top of his head. I've always loved kids and this tiny version of the Horan brothers was bringing inside me a sensation of intense love.

"Show me what Santa got you." I just said before he proceeded to hand me all the gifts he had received quickly.

I slipped my hand in his hair gently and sent him a smile before he got off of me to run to my boyfriend. I breathed in, feeling uncomfortable in these clothes and wishing I could just put sweatpants on, and finally got up to get in the kitchen.

"Can I help you with anything?" I proposed as Maura turned to look at me, her lips curling immediately when our eyes met.

"No, no darling," she shook her head with a chuckle. "I just needed more wine."

I laughed and nodded as she poured an other glass and handed it to me. I let out a short sigh, a smile still on my lips, and took it from her hands before taking a sip.

"You didn't have to be nervous." she finally let out as I leaned my side on the counter next to me. "We're all very happy that you two are finally together."

"Except Bobby." I joked with a laugh. "He lost his bet."

Maura laughed again and shook her head.

"No, he just hoped it would have taken a bit more time."

I frowned, not really understanding what she meant, and tilted my head.

"Oh we both knew you'd end up together." she explained, raising her eyebrows. "I guessed it would be this year, after tour. Bobby said it would be late next year, that it would take Niall more time to admit to his feelings. I guess he underestimated his son."

I let out a surprised chuckle and my lips parted as my shoulders fell. It was incredible and such a relief to realize that my beliefs were shared, that I was not the only one who thought all these years that Niall and I were meant to be.

"Tell me he did something big to ask you."

This time, I laughed, pushing away the bet Niall's parents had made to bring me back to the day where Niall sang that song to me in a bar in front of all of our friends and a bunch of strangers.

"I told him first, and then a few days later yea, he did something big." I admitted with a nod.

"You told him your feelings first?" she expressed, raising her eyebrows and laughing. "That's why I won."

I closed my eyes and laughed too, taking an other sip of wine. It made me wonder how long it would have taken us to get into a relationship if I hadn't told him how I felt... What if I had told him before? Would we be together?

"It was that obvious, wasn't it?"

I didn't have to say anything else, she knew exactly what I was talking about, and she raised her nose slightly before nodding.

"Why didn't he see it?" I added in a low tone, mostly asking myself. I frowned and looked down until I heard Maura talk again.

"He was stuck in his routine and what he was always used to do." she just pointed out. "You were his best friend, that was his certitude, why should he change that, you know? Why should he think about you any other way? By telling him how you felt you forced him to consider you as more than his best friend. Clearly he felt the same and it was obvious since you said it only took him a few days."

I nodded very slowly and looked down at the glass in my hand.

"I should have told him before." I confessed in a whisper. "We lost so much time."

I felt her take a step closer to me but didn't dare looking up. I just breathed deeply in and sighed a bit too loud.

"Maybe he was not ready before."

I held my breath and looked up at her. The look she was sending me was a mix of compassion, happiness and amusement and it hit me how similar she and Niall were, both physically and mentally. I thought about all we went through, all the memories we had, recent or old, and how much every single one of them meant the world to me. I thought about how much i've hurt, how hard some days were, how many tears I cried... I would do it all over again if it was to end up with that same result. I wouldn't change anything from our story, and I knew we were exactly where we were supposed to be, at the right time.

"Maybe I was not ready either." I admitted, licking my lips. "But I am now."

---

The door closed behind a tired Bobby and when Maura turned back to us, she raised her eyebrows. Her eyes moved from her son to me and then back to him and she sighed with a smile, bringing Niall closer into a hug before kissing his cheek.

"I guess you won't need that second mattress, right?"

I felt my heart jump in my chest out of embarrassment but Niall only chuckled.

"Nop, but thanks mom."

"Alright, well i'm tired, Chris and I are going to bed." she said after yawning. "Goodnight, and don't stay up too late, okay?"

I laughed when she raised her eyebrows and we finally got upstairs in silence. I yawned too as we walked to my boyfriend's old room but he stopped abruptly right in front of his door. I almost bumped into him and he turned around, looking down at me with a smile.

"Wait, you forgot something."

I frowned but as I was about to ask what he meant, he pointed up and I looked over our heads only to see mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. I shook my head with a chuckle, staring at it for a few seconds before looking back at him. This time, he was smirking, and I tilted my head.

"Did you set this up?"

"No, it got there magically." he let out jokingly before laughing. "Of course I set this up."

"You know you don't need mistletoe to kiss me, right?" I teased too, laughing a bit.

"Just to be sure," he started, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. "I thought about putting some all around my house."

"Oh i'd love to see that." I laughed again but this time it was cut short when he pressed his lips on mine firmly.

He deepened the kiss and It took me all my strength not to whimper in his mouth. His lips traveled down my neck and it made me smile. I wanted him so bad I felt my whole body on fire but I didn't want to do this here, in his mom's house, especially not for our first time.

"Let's get in your room, okay?" I proposed in a low tone. "I'd kill for a pair of sweatpants."

He laughed against the skin of my neck but finally nodded and I followed him in his room, closing the door behind us. I searched through my stuff to find a t-shirt and sweatpants but when I got back up, I felt Niall's hands on my waist from behind and his lips were back on my neck, making goosebumps appear on my skin.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but you look very nice in that dress." he whispered. I felt his teeth nibbling my neck gently and I bit my bottom lip hard. "Kind of like that time you wore a skirt on that double date?"

The thought made my heart skip a beat and all I could remember from that day was how his fingers kept drawing circles on my knee and that he had asked Harry to switch place with me so we could be sitting next to each other.

"Niall, we're at your mom's." I pointed out in a whisper, closing my eyes and hoping my words would convince him because I had a hard time to convince myself. "She could hear."

"I know petal, but you turn me on so bad." To prove his point, he pushed his hips closer and I felt his hard cock press against my ass, making me hold my breath.

I wanted him too, so bad that it almost hurt, but I still took a step further, turning around as he groaned and grimaced. I smiled more when he opened his eyes and sighed but his eyes roamed on me for a while before he just gave up.

"I'll put my sweatpants on." I proposed with a smile. "That way you won't be turned on because of that dress."

He laughed and shook his head before sitting on the bed.

"Because you think you don't turn me on in your sweatpants?"

I stared at him for a few seconds, feeling a wave of love invading me suddenly. Thinking that I turned him on was surreal but I realized his feelings for me were real with his last words. He lusted me when I was all dressed up, but he also lusted me when I was in sweatpants and a baggy shirt and for some reason, that made me feel more beautiful than I ever felt in my whole life.

"Come on, turn around while I get undressed."

"Of course." he laughed, putting his hand over his eyes before spreading his fingers to peek.

"Pervert." I let out with a smile.

"Hey, nothing I haven't seen in the shower this morning darling."

That thought made my heart jump in my chest but I just rolled my eyes and turned around, taking my dress off and letting it fall on the floor. I grabbed the t-shirt and put it on before taking off my panties and putting my sweatpants on. I finally turned around only to see him staring at him with a smirk, his head slightly tilted.

"You forgot the bra." he pointed out. "Looks like you're gonna have to take that shirt off again to show me what's under it."

"Don't be silly." I frowned with a smile, reaching my back with both hands to unclasp my bra before taking the straps down and pulling on it.

He grimaced when I let my bra fall on the floor with the rest of my clothes and it made me laugh again. I walked to him slowly, putting one of my knees next to his thigh on the bed before straddling him completely, sitting on his lap. I could feel his eyes search for mine but I simply bit my bottom lip and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Let me help you." I just murmured, knowing way too well that I was torturing both of us and that it would be tough to stop ourselves again.

I undid his tie when I was done and pushed the shirt off his shoulders before taking the tie off and dropping it on the floor. I felt a shiver cross my back as my hands ran on his skin and it made him chuckle.

"Look who's all over the other now." he pointed out, making me look up in his eyes.

My lips curled and I ran my tongue on the bottom one as my eyes roamed on his face. He was right, I wanted him as much as he wanted me... probably even more, but I was still scared.

"Can I ask you something serious and get a serious answer?" I asked after my eyes fell down on my hands still placed on his chest.

One of his hands reached mine and squeezed my fingers, making me look back up in his eyes. He was pretty, so pretty i felt my heart twist in my chest at how lucky I was.

"You can ask me anything." he let out in a whisper, making my eyes soften a bit.

"Let's say we have sex." I started, licking my lips and curling his into a smirk.

"Let's say we do." he repeated with a hint of amusement.

"What tells me that you won't..." I shrugged and looked down again. "I don't know.. leave me after?"

"Why would I do that?" he asked.

I could hear the confusion and the hurt in the tone of his voice and I breathed in before staring up in his eyes again. I felt stupid for even asking but I just had to. I needed more reassurance than I thought I would and even if I hated it, I couldn't help it.

"Because you didn't like it, or because you realized all this was just lust, something like that?"

Silence fell between us and all I could hear was the beating of my heart accelerating. We remained quiet for about a minute and he finally talked, making my heart jump in my chest again.

"What you said earlier at the park... that you can't remember ever not loving me.. that you loved me through all those memories, through all these years..." he stopped and sighed. "Liv, you're my best friend. You think i'd do something like that to you? We both risked out friendship because we both know that this... what we have... it's real and deep and it's worth it. I thought I only lusted you but it was just because... I didn't want to admit to myself how deeply in love with you I am."

My eyes opened wider at his confession and he squeezed my hands again. I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to keep my tears in, but I knew I was tearing up and that he could see it.

"Something clicked after the tour. Something was different. It took me a while to realize it and a while to accept it too." he shrugged a shoulder still staring at me. "But you make me happy, you make me feel something I never felt before, and this is real."

Slowly, I brought one of my hands to his jaw and ran my thumb on his bottom lip. We were just two stupid kids back then and I was just a loser in love with her best friend. Now was different, we were different and we were together.

"I loved you through everything." I whispered, not out of shame but because I was scared my voice would crack. "I fell asleep thinking of you and woke up with you on my mind. Sometimes I felt like I was going insane and that I would never get over you. I ruined relationships on purpose, I was jealous, pathetic and sometimes a bad friend. I would have done anything Niall. Any fucking thing. Does that scare you?"

He shook his head lightly, still looking in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry I've hurt you." he let out just as low. "I didn't know you loved me like that, I didn't know you kept all those feelings inside, behind that wall. I love you too. I promise to repeat it often enough to ease all the pain you felt through the years."

I felt a tear run down my cheek and he quickly let go of my hand to wipe it.

"So to answer your question, no." he added, licking his lips. "No, I won't leave you. No it's not just lust. No, you don't have to be scared, or self-conscious, or jealous. If I could make you feel all the love I have for you I would, and I promise you'd never doubt it again."

I got closer and pressed my lips against his. He answered the kiss, quickly deepening it but still going slow as his arms wrapped around me. He turned us around and my back fell on the mattress as he crawled on top of me, his lips still pressed on mine. I could feel my whole body throb at the intense moment we were living and all I could think about was that he was in love with me. I was not imagining it, he had used these words and I was ecstatic. I pulled him closer and whimpered low when his hips ground against mine, setting my whole body on fire.

"Not here." I whispered, pulling away slightly but with difficulty.

"Not here." he repeated, panting lightly against my mouth.

We both smiled and he peeled his body off of mine and lied down next to me on his back, chuckling low.

"Give me a few minutes to cool down will you?" he added, laughing again as I closed my eyes, searching for his hand on the bed.

We stopped talking for a long time and I finally decided to get up to turn the lights off before getting back in bed with him. He had taken his pants down and was now laying next to me, under the covers, in only his boxers.

"Do you want kids?" I let out a bit randomly as a bunch of thoughts run in my mind.

"You know I do." he expressed, turning his head my way before I did the same.

"No I mean, do you want kids with me?"

The right corner of his lips moved up and he raised his eyebrows a bit.

"Not now." he admitted, turning his body and bringing his arm around my waist to pull me closer. "But later, yea. Plus, I love seeing you with Theo, i'm sure he'll grow up to adore you. Not as much as I do but still."

I laughed and rolled my eyes but the truth was, I liked his answers. He made me feel good with every single words he said and he didn't even try. He was just being Niall and it made all of it even better.

"Maybe we can practice when we get back home?"

His eyes studied me for a while, a smile still drawn on his lips and he just licked them, holding me tighter against him.

"Only if you feel ready."

The way he cared about me made something stir in my stomach and I smiled back.

"I am."

----

This time, the airport was crowded and I cursed at myself mentally for not bringing a pair of sunglasses. I did everything I could to hide myself a bit behind Niall but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer the way he always did. I knew he did it to keep me close to him and to make sure we wouldn't lose sight of each other but it made me extremely nervous. I tried to ignore the flashes from the camera and the paparazzis yelling at Niall to look his way but it was not easy. I groaned low as security tried to help us reach the gate but I let out a louder than intended 'ow!' when someone literally pulled my hair. I took a mental note to tie it from now on and maybe even hide it in my hoodie but I felt Niall grab my hand and intertwine our fingers. It suddenly made me feel better and it's only when we sat down in the plane that I felt stress cool down a bit. Our palms were sweating against the other's but I didn't want to let go of his hand and I held it even tighter.

"Did someone hurt you back there?" he asked, genuinely concerned and a bit pissed.

I grimaced and shrugged, leaning against my seat and closing my eyes.

"Yea someone just pulled my hair. Hard." I admitted with an other groan. "I hate people."

"Wait, someone fucking pulled your hair?"

He had moved closer to me and I shrugged again, trying not to make a big deal out of it. I felt a bit stupid and I was not sure why but I didn't want to show it.

"A fan or a pap?"

"I don't know."

He let go of my hand quickly and grabbed his phone, typing something quickly and a bit roughly on his phone, making me frown. It's only when I got a notification that I understood he had tweeted something about it.

'I'll say this once and hope it gets through everyone's head. dont. hurt. my. girlfriend.'

I felt my heart melt and a ridiculous smile appeared on my lips. It was the very first time Niall was calling me his girlfriend on social medias and I liked it, I liked it more than I probably should. I couldn't pretend I was not happy that my own profile was private though. I didn't even want to imagine all the hate I would be getting if it was public.

"Is it okay?" he asked, making me look up in his eyes and smile. "I can delete it if you want."

"Delete the first time you call me your girlfriend officially online? No way!"

We both laughed and I leaned my head on his shoulder, grabbing his hand on mine again. He brought them on his thigh and I stared at our fingers as his thumb brushed gently against the top of my hand.

"That's not too much PDA?" I asked low with a smirk.

"No." he whispered back. "Just enough."

I laughed again, feeling relaxed and safer now, and he placed his head on top of mine. I couldn't wait to be back home but at the same time, I felt home anyway and I realized it was because my home was literally sitting right next to me. It was dangerous to give someone so much power over you and your happiness but I couldn't help it. With Niall, every moment, every smell, every feeling was better. I thought about the few days we spent at his mom’s and how everyone had been so nice to me and so happy for us. I thought about the fact that I literally told him we'd have sex as soon as we'd get back home and it made me febrile. I was excited, nervous but mostly incredibly happy. I couldn't wait to be myself again when it came to sex. I was not the type to be shy and I loved trying new things but with Niall, all I could think about was how he was seeing me and what he was thinking. It was adding limits and boundaries to our relationship and I hated it.

"Are you part of the mile high club?" I suddenly asked.

He took his head away and I turned mine, raising my eyebrows at him. He looked at me amused again and he just chuckled, his eyes scanning me.

"Not yet, are you?"

"Don't be silly, of course I'm not." I rolled my eyes with a chuckle.

"I don't think our first time-"

"Not now, no!" I cut him quickly but quickly relaxed. "But, someday, maybe?" I proposed with a shrug.

"Oh definitely." he replied in a low tone with a hint of eagerness. "I want to try many things with you. Not just sexually. I want a bunch of firsts with you. And then I want us to do it again."

Without giving me time to answer, he pressed his lips on mine and I chuckled against his mouth. I felt my whole body quiver slightly at the thought of everything our future was holding and I realized it was shivers of impatience. I couldn't want to live my life with him.

"We will."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #amc #my fanfics #i dont want to click on 'post' :X

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someone-always-cares · 4 years

Photo

[image description: a q&a for the webcomic someone always cares. full desc under the cut because its long and wordy sorry]

post chapter 3 Q&A

first - previous - next

thanks for yalls questions!! it was fun to answer! if anyone still has questions feel free to ask whenever i am always 100% down to ramble. even if i did go slightly off topic in some answers

additional: went off topic with the hair question a bit. their bright hair is all part of the transformations. regular hair dye does exist though. best way to tell is that if the eyebrow matches the hair its probably not dyed. also, quartz’s hair is naturally ginger.

also for more on ages, check out the character bios here

also was gonna keep this in the tags but thought i might as well actually try to answer it: the question i found it hardest to answer was someone the song one. my taste in music is. a mess really. ive been listening to like the same 5 songs on repeat all day. more under the cut because i was rambling again and now its uhhh half 1am

if it helps at the time of answering that specific question i had home by cavetown on repeat, and that song reminds me of both rami and lewis. but that may be because i project onto those two a lot, and as a aro trans dude. who sucks with people skills, yeah of course i love that song.

specifically the vibes of like not knowing how to communicate (rami is fine with his friends but other people are different), the lines “ Turn off your porcelain face, I can't really think right now and this place, Has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane” idk what the porcelain face line is supposed to mean but im picturing it as like. a mask. that you need to take off and stop hiding and rami does tend to hide when hes feeling upset, and the next two lines kinda could tie into that, like the feeling of when youre overwhelemed and just want the world to stop so you just hide somewhere. also the colours could go with chapter 3 with the chromatic abberation.

also the bit with “ my eyes went dark, I don't know where, my pupils are, But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here” just kinda sums up ramis whole hero thing with his powers and all. anyway this has turned into less what songs rami would like and why this particular song reminds me of him and lewis (lewis specifically has the hair cutting/chest hiding, [big transmasc mood], and also messy haired trainwreck who doesnt know who he is yet. also the ghosts bit)

i did end up picking upbeat songs because ramis a dude who like to try and be upbeat even if things arent. even if hes not really feeling it he will pretend to.

[full description: Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: “hi ily!!! do characters like quartz who have colored hair have that naturally or did they dye it?”

“its both natural and not! while most supers can do a magical girl ish transformation, including a change in hair colour, there are some exceptions.”

theres two small full body drawings of rami, one in civilian clothes, one fully transformed.

“if a superhero were to have a biological child, the child will inherit the powers of the parent(s). however, the child will not inherit the full transfromation. they do inherit any physical transformations, but not the outfit.”

theres a drawing of a woman in blue, quartz’s mother, fully transformed, holding her mask in her hand, smiling down at a much younger quartz as a child. hes smiling back up at her with the same blue eyes, pointy ears, and blue hair, but hes still in normal clothes.

“in the case of quartz, both of hisparents had superpowers, and he inherited those powers and the physical transformations.he can also pick and mix whatphysical traits to change.“

next is a headshot of adult quartz, his face split down the middle with one side having hair and eye like his mother, the other like his father. theres a list of traits from each parents, blue hair and eyes and pointy ears from his mum, and purple hair and eyes and pointy teeth from their dad.

“Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: Are all the characters the same age? If not, how old are they? Are they irl friends or just superhero friends?”

theres some headshots of rami and his team lined up with ages labelled: cam is 15, rami himself is 17, lin, mateo, and dante, are all 18, and cap is 20.

“rami and xandra were somewhat friends before she got superpowers, so when, after the incident with her old team, she found rami had developed powers, xandra stuck close to him. their other teamates started off as superhero friends but soon turned into irl friends too”

theres a headshot of lewis and jade. theyre both 17

“when lewis first decided to start being a vigilante,jade quickly found him and decided to help train himand offered to be a mentor of sorts, as they both have similar powers. that quickly derailed.”

“ cinder5555 said to someone-always-cares: How long does it usually take to make a comic page? I'm curious because they're so freaking good that they must take FOREVER”

theres a drawing of myself, a fluffy hair tired bastard in a hoodie, smiling

“Thanks! Ive been doing this shit since like 2017 and i still have no idea how long it takes me. i can get a page done in a day if i have nothing else to do or if its a simple page, but if i have work then maybe 2-3 days? i spend like, most of my free time doing this.“

another drawing of me, now looking frustrated muttering “how the FUCK does time work”

“but i can never do it all on one sitting.i will inevitably get distracted and zone out daydreaming mid drawing so its very hard to get an accurate read on how long it takes. so however long a piece of string is i guess“

the only qustion not from tumblr is a discord message from RuneStone Cabin:

“Q: Can you talk about the incidence of superpowers in this world? Like many people are supers, which powers are more or less common, how long they've been a thing for, stuff like that. Also does Omen know I'd die for them “

theres a drawing of omen pointing at a date circled on a calender marked “decembuary”, theyre saying “i know. i already wrote your death in my calender.”

then a giant wall of text reading: “Supers have only existed for a relativly short time, since the early 1940s. momento mori was the second person to have ever gained powers.

Only a small number of the population are supers! the chances are higher in more populated cities, but unusally london has oneof the higher percentages of supers. while nobody in universe has any idea of the origins of superpowers, it does seem that powers are more likely to occur in people who would actually use their powers.

as for what powers are most common, after making a badly catagorized spreadsheet of every superpowered character ive made for this world (70% of which will probably never even be seen), turns out that elemental powers are the most common. although not all elemental powers manifest as the straight up 'controling this element' as seen in characters like lin or tsunami. for example, iris's powers would fall under shadow elemntal powers, but theyre a lot more weird that just controlling shadows.there are some abilities that have never been seen before,such as ressurection or full on time travel (aka anything that could bring a character back to life), but powers are certainly allowed to toe the line eg healing, powers involving undeath, immortality, pausing or manipulating time.

aside from that, anything goes. you could get plain old superstrength, but you could also get the ability to create dogs with your mind. other not quite rules, more guidelines are that supers are immune to their own powers hurting them (unless they were pushing themselves too hard), although the way the imminuties occur may be inconvinient to the super.

while some powers may be 'more powerful' than others, powers dont really get to be way underpowered or overpowered in comparision to others. sure being able to talk to animals may feel a bit useless compared to someone who can lift 4 tanks at once, but nobodys going to end up with a power like 'can turn into a goose but only once' or 'can grow toenails twice as fast' or 'if i sneeze i can change my hair colour'. at the same time, youre not going to get someone with the power to snap their fingers and level a city, or instantly blow up the moon or whatever.

“Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: I love rami PLEASE tell me his favorite song(s) and why. I will die for you”

a drawing of rami saying out loud “i dont really have any specific favourite song, really? i just listen to whatever sounds catchy and then listen to that on repeat for hours until i hate it. i guess i do like upbeat songs? ones that make you feel happy even if the lyrics are sad”

“ un1c0rnhh said to someone-always-cares: tell me,,, please,, cam,,, are they a cat person or a dog person?? ily"

theres a drawing of cam a metre away from a cat lying down. she has her arm out and is making ‘psspsspss’ noises at it. end id]

FUCK i am so glad i didnt hand write all of that, it would have been a major pain in the ass to write it all and then have to transcribe all that next. but nope i could directly copy paste the asks and word answers. cheers if anyone made it this far down. if anyone wonders why this is uploaded late, you know now.

#sac #someone always cares #sorry to my friends i rambled to about the previosly mentioned attempt at catagorizing powers #i made a fucking spreadsheet and everything #it was awful #also it probably obvious but i still have yet to download the font i use to this computer #did i ever mention what i named the font when i made it #because its called 'dicks out for the void' or something #it was funny back in mid/late 2017 ok

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minjoonalist · 5 years

Text

Predilection | Chapter One

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 4k

Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff

Warnings : explicit wording, masturbation, brief hand Job

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

———

“Y/n, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook. You three will be housing number 6”

“Are you kidding me…” you whisper, not even bothering to listen to whatever your professor had to say next. You were too busy being stuck on the two names that were just called along with yours, wondering what kind of sick joke the universe had to be playing on you to stick you with the men who ruined you years ago.

This can't be happening...

“Damn, tough luck kid” your best friend Taehyung chimes in next to you, just as the professor in the front of your classroom, moves on to the next housing mates of your Off-campus project. “ Rooming with the man you would kill and the man you would kill for? Ouch.” he cringes just before giving an assuring pat to your back.

You instantly slump down into your seat and dread begins to wash over you.

Silently, you were hoping that some miracle would happen, that this all just a terrible dream and you would wake up five mins late on your alarm like usual. But that's not going to happen and you were slowly realizing that. Still, you dont stop yourself from peeking down a few rows- eyes finding your two targets in front of you who are conveniently facing away from you. When you do however, you see that the two men- whose names are going to be linked to yours for the next few weeks- pay you no mind as you do them.

Wouldn’t they want to know whose despicable soul is going to be stuck with them for an entire week? You ask yourself, with a frown- your heart starting to ache when you notice the both of them cuddled up together. One of them tilting his head into a more comfortable angle on the other's shoulder, a bitter taste coming into your mouth from the sight.

“Tae…” You try to whisper to the male next to you.

“One second.” The boy with vibrant blue hair, shushes you- his dark eyes full of stars as he focuses on the front of the class. “ He has yet to say my name and Im praying to the gay cupid himself, that the love of my life is in my housing…” Taehyung bites his plump lip anxiously.

You scoff at him in return, feeling sorry for your wishful friend “Please, I may have gotten unlucky to be trapped with those two...but the chances of you and him becoming housemates are a good slim to none-” your laugh was suddenly cut off by Tae’s small squeak. You notice the way his eyes sparkle with a flash of excitement, the moment he realizes whose names were about to be called.

“Oh my- in all the holy fucks be with me…” he suddenly gasps- Very dramatically might you add and he practically crushes your tiny hand in excitement.

When did he even grab it?

“Please, let me go.” You wince.

“...Last but not least, I was left with only a pair of two and that would leave both Mr. Kim Taehyung and Mr. Min yoongi.” your professor finishes up his list and Unfortunately, Your best friend squeals in delight causing multiple classmates-including your crush to glance in both of your directions.

The sound echoes throughout the hall Immediately, the both of you blushing- especially once you notice your professor rolls his eyes at the interruption.

Taehyung is the main culprit however, once a certain Min Yoongi himself looks up towards him. His curious cat-like eyes landing instantly on him, assessing him, and then sending a small smile. Taehyung’s eyes widen, mouth parting in shock “s-sorry,” he mumbles with a tiny voice, making eye contact with everyone and finally Yoongi. “ I -uh…I just...was shocked a-and...” he trails off, but never finishes, only to drown in embarrassment from the curious gazes.

“Well I’m glad that you are so expressive of it Mr. Kim, perhaps you could try it when I’m actually done speaking?” Your professor announces with no enthusiasm whatsoever, drawing some of the students back towards him. “ Now as I was saying about your Projects…” While he continues on; Slowly, but surely everyone turns their heads away- deciding there wasn't much else to see.

Tae lets out an audible breath he was holding, letting his chest deflate, but only to pull it back when he notices Yoongi still staring up at him. The man looks as if he was going to burst the second the mint haired male sends him a wink before turning back like the others.

“ I... think I just pissed myself...hopefully…” he finally breathes as if he’d ran out of oxygen.

Now would be your cue to tease Taehyung and tell him how much of a dweeb he was for causing all that attention. Or so he thought, his face turning down when nothing comes from your direction

“Uh babe? You alright? ” He questions while lifting a dark brow.

Absolutely fucking not.

Frozen in your seat, you might as well have been a statue, your own breath sticking to the inside of your lungs when a certain silver haired boy with puffy cheeks and a strong jawline- turns in his boyfriend’s arms and looks up in your direction. With scanning eyes, he looks over everyone curiously, seeming as if he was trying to find one person in particular.

You swallow, heart speeding up when they linger over Tae for a moment and then they were snapping to someone next to him.

You.

He was now staring up unapologetically at you. Jimin smiles brightly with his perfect white teeth- he then gives a silent wave of his ringed hand, a confident lip bite coming soon afterwards. This made your heart and the lower parts of your stomach heat up uncontrollably. A strong sense of adoration and lust falling over you, but then anger, guilt and shame immediately afterwards. You put on a shy fake smile back towards him and he falls for it, turning back to the comfort of a certain raven haired asshole.

In an instant Your shy smile turns into a hard glare for your old friend Jungkook, who stares forward unknowingly. not bothering to look up at whoever caused all that noise.

Typical.

“Is there an off button for those lasers?” Tae questions you, before poking your cheek with an adorable pout.

By this time, your class was near its end and you’ve yet to stop glaring at the couple. “Tell me, between burning him alive or strangling him until you see life leave his eyes… How much do you want to kill Jeon?” Taehyung cackles unattractively while waving a hand over your face.

You then release your vicious energy with a blink and turn towards him, a sickeningly sweet smile plastered on your face. “ how about stabbing him 33 times in the back until all the blood drained from him in various openings?” You retort in an innocent tone, feeling nothing of the sort.

Everyone around you had already begun to clear out as you packed up your things and you followed immediately grabbing your stuff and passing over Tae. The both of you were making your way down your classroom’s stairs when you notice Taehyung sending you a terrified look.

“What?” You ask in a defensive tone.

“ Nothing just-...that was gruesomely specific.” he replies as the both of you were just getting ready to walk out. Him stopping so that you could pass out the front door and he could follow. “It's things like that, that remind me why you can be extremely terrifying.”

You scoff once again and pause to look at him “oh please, It’s what he did to me...metaphorically at least.”

“That's not the same as wanting it physically, you psycho.” He shakes his head with a bemused smile, silently urging you on and he would soon follow. That was until a hand touched Tae’s shoulder, making him turn with you in tow.

You wouldn’t be shocked if Taehyung’s soul left his body. He widens his eyes, facing a half-smiling mint haired boy-a friendly aura contrasting with his brooding stature. Right there, Tae lets out a pained whimper that only both you and him could hear and You giggle in surprise, stepping back from him.

“Um...Tae- ..hyung, right?” Yoongi’s shockingly deep and monotone voice, brings Tae out of his little world.

He pushes up his square rimmed glasses and puts a rough looking hand out to shake. “I’m Min Yoongi- I think you screamed out in surprise earlier, but I wasn't sure if that was from excitement or disgust.” He chuckles dryly, making you wonder if he was genuinely happy or just doing as the professor suggested.

In front of you, Tae only nods at him, giving a quick and soft smile before taking it. You knew without a doubt he was currently flush red and exploding inside from the comment. When Tae doesn't say anything more, Yoongi quickly looks down towards their shaking hands, Taehyung just then realizing how long he kept it going.

“Oh um-” he quickly snatches it away, embarrassment making his cheeks even pinker. “Yeah n-no, that was for something else…” he quickly lies, although yoongi looks as if he doesn't buy it. Instead, He Chooses to nod appeasingly, thinking better to let it pass.

“Oh? ok- well I was hoping we could discuss our living arrangements for—a...bit?” Yoongi attempts, but hesitates when Tae starts to send him a horrified look. “-or not? my bad, that must be such a dumb Idea.” he shakes his head and that’s when your best friend snaps out of his stupidity.

“No!- I mean ...no, that’s a great idea” He then agrees, finally sending back a genuine smile and the two share a stare for a moment too long. You on the other hand had unnoticeably excused yourself the second you realized this conversation no longer had anything to do with you.

Me: heading to the café , I’ll get us a table.

TaeTae: thanks. Be there soon!

After about 10 minutes across the campus, you manage to text Tae when making your way across the quad.. Eventually, you were just a few feet away from the campus’s coffee shop when a familiar laugh enters your ears, making you glance behind you. Right there, you wanted to swallow yourself whole or to scream out into the universe for the injustice.

Jimin.

Oh for fucks sake….you cursed yourself when you saw the striking couple making their way towards you. Jimin, being the perfect model he is, struts confidently under his much taller boyfriend’s arm and Jungkook squeezes him closer, mumbling something that only the both of them could hear. Jimin had once again burst out with laughter.

You want to pout, it feels as if you were intruding on them, a private moment that was meant solely for the two and you happen to be there witnessing it.

Huffing, you quickly turn away before they could notice and continue walking towards the shop- needing a triple shot latte pronto if you were going to get any studying done for the day. Although you felt you were being as invisible as possible- what you didn’t feel was the pair of eyes that were following you the second you left.

“Please can’t we go talk to her?” Jimin whines into Kook’s side.

He pouts wrapping his arm around Jungkook’s waist and snuggles even more into him to add for a better effect. Jungkook’s conflicted look, stares ahead to your walking figure and he could feel his little ball of happiness breathing up his neck “ Not now, Jimin.” he just replies calmly and looks down to him before pecking his plump lips.

Jimin frowns accusingly at him “But she’s so cute when she's flushed, she’s the most adorable thing ever. ” he says thoughtfully and Jungkook looks down at him in awe when a dark look enters Jimin’s eyes- his cute aura switching off immediately.“I wonder how much cuter she would be in bed” He chuckles and Jungkook will never understand the duality that came with his older boyfriend.

However, it was his turn to frown. He stops dead in his tracks to tower over a perplexed Jimin. “You- No.” he simply states “Hell no, not her. Anyone but her” he looks at him almost desperate, pleading to him and he could understand why his boyfriend’s eyes seem to pop out of their skull at the sudden change. Jimin had never seen him act out this way, He was usually so cool and put together. A bit bossy might he add but still...

“Jeon, you asked me for a threesome and I told you that I would be the one to pick the person. Besides, what's wrong with y/n? Shes super sweet from what I’ve seen of her-shes fucking hot.” he bites his bottom lip already imagining how amazing you would look between the both of them. Jungkook would almost blush at his boyfriend’s behavior .

Fuck, what was he suppose to do?

It seemed like Jimin's eyes were so set on you from the second you both waved at each in class . Yeah, Jungkook saw that and it took so much in him not to look up at you and see your beautiful smile. Not when he knew the second he did- you would make it go away. Jimin has never voiced his opinion on wanting someone other than him and the two had been together since senior year of highschool-

that's when it hit him..that painful suppressed memory of your history. There was nothing that could be done and hell if he didn’t regret it every single day. Still, he had no choice, he would have to tell jimin what happened for it to make sense. Jungkook never wanted to, but with the way Jimin frowned up at him with a suspicious glare, he knew the man would never let this go. After all, he only wanted to make him happy right?

Jungkook swallows painfully before he confesses.. “Jimin…y/n she…well the girl fucking hates my guts.”

and she has every right to…

———

“ Okay so let me get this straight” Taehyung looks at you with a cringing face and you sip slowly on your bitter three shot americano. The both of you enter your classroom, walking further up the stairs away from the front of the class. There's about two days left before your trip and it was your final class to attend.

“ You finally get the chance to talk to Min yoongi-”you start and you pause to take in your best friend’s complete stupidity “-a guy you’ve been wanting since the day you first stepped foot on the campus ... and you blew him off…” you ask then finally taking your normal seat at the top of the class.

Tae almost melts into the ground, dramatically falling into the chair next to you. His cheeks flush and he tries his best to hide his face behind his hand. It was impossible to believe that someone with his confidence and sexual history could possibly be acting the way that he was at the moment.

“I panicked- I never panic.” He exclaims sitting up straight. “The worst part is - I think he might actually like me. Y/n I guess we’re soulmates because we really are some dumb bitches.” he sighs and you shake your head pulling out your laptop when you notice some of your classmates beginning to fill in.

Two girls happened to be walking by when he said that and They looked over to you two. you immediately blush “Excuse me? Im not a dumb bitch, you’re on your own there Tae.” You laugh saying it loud enough for them to hear. He pulls a face at you, then looks up for a moment pretending to think “You know, I was just being nice, but forget what I said cause you’re a sad dumb bitch.” he comes to his conclusion and chuckles at you.

your jaw drops and you lift a brow.

He takes it as green light to continue “You see, Im a dumb bitch, because im crushing on a single man who just might be mine by the end of this trip. I’ve talked to him and although I might have blew him off…” he trails off slowly to cringe “ -theres still a good chance I could have him. now YOU on the other hand - have never even spoken to your crush. Might I add, who’s whipped...in a relationship…with the man you told most about it…declaring you sweet heart-” he bops you on your nose with his finger “a sad dumb bitch” tae smiles sweetly and you pout in hurt.

“hm being a dumb bitch doesn’t look too bad now does it?” He mocks you and you elbow him playfully into his chest. You and taehyung were each other’s worst bullies and probably your worst critics. It was most likely the reason you two stuck together for so long, but even though you knew the man was only joking; his words still stung about Jimin.

It's been three days since your professor announced all the housing mates and you quickly realized you were the only one who hasn’t spoken to yours. As everyone walked in to take their seats, you could see the multiple groups of future housings sitting beside each other.

That's when it really dawned on you…

What exactly would happen when all three of you had to meet? Would Jimin even like you? or Did jungkook already convince him you were the garbage he treated you as back then.

You frowned in deep thought. No way… He seemed nice when he waved at you the other day. In fact Jimin always looked nice, hell It was probably one of his charms that captured you the most. Every moment you saw him he was always smiling and helping others when he didn’t even have to.

Taehyung must have noticed the uneasiness on your face when he suddenly asked you about the two. “You’re either really constipated or you’re thinking about thing one and thing two.”

You looked at him in surprise. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Y/n, Babe I know you like the back of my hand, so no it's not. But,” he trails off before continuing “ In all seriousness-...I think you should consider asking for new housemates…” he hesitates to say and the look you give him, tells him that he was right to. He grabs your hand “ I- I just don’t want you to get hurt…you’ve liked jimin for so long and the man has been with Jungkook for four years now. I don’t want you be heartbroken the second you realize just who you’re living with for an entire week. You think I don’t notice how you visibly sink into sadness whenever you see the two? It's not healthy for you, nor for them. So it’s time to move on don’t you think?” Taehyung pours his heart into his speech for you and your stomach begins to turn just a bit.

You’ve felt this way for jimin since your junior year. The famous high school sweetheart Park Jimin and his ex- girlfriend had just broken up and you remembered running to your best friend of the time Jeon Jungkook. You were so excited, but also pitied the poor girl that was probably still in love with him.

“I should talk to him right? I mean it's been 3 months already. It seems like he isn’t talking to anyone” you chirped, walking hand in hand with Jeon down your school’s hallway.

He smiles slightly at you humming in return, before he pulls you into his side and wraps his arm around your shoulder. “I don’t know, maybe Jimin's not the kind of guy you want to go for y/n. I don’t he would fit you...” he says a bit low and you scoff.

“Why not? He’s adorable, he’s smart, and sweet… I haven’t been around him enough- but I bet he's funny too.” you grin and it only falters when you see him still looking ahead with a straight face.

“Guk?” You try, making him blink as if he pulled himself from a trance.

“Yeah, he probably is.”

You suddenly become nauseous from the memory. Your eyes moving towards your class’s entrance just in time to catch the devil himself walking in.

Dressed in all black, he holds his hoodie up on his head and his black boots thumps against the ground as he walks to his seat up front. Your brow furrows and you noticed it was only him by himself- looking more miserable than ever... aww.

“ That asshole.” You whisper only for you to hear.

For most of your class, you could only think about how long Jungkook must have held the truth from you. How every now and then you would find yourself glaring at the back of the man’s head and every other time you were busy wondering where Jimin must’ve gone off to.

By now it was almost over and after realizing that for nearly an hour, your thoughts were being consumed with the two ...Taehyung really was right…

Your obsession for jimin wasn’t healthy and the hate you continued to let consume you for jungkook also wasn’t healthy. They were happily In love and that will never have anything to do with you. Whether you wanted it to or not.

——

Jimin laid wide awake on his bed, in the darkness of his room and it had to be somewhere between 2 to -he-should- really- fucking- sleep- before-his-math- test- in- the- morning AM.

I did something wrong…He thought about the words his boyfriend spoke to him the other day. It was a shocking revelation and one that he just couldn’t seem to get his head wrapped around. He then turned on his side, looking down at the cute bunny faced man he’s loved since highschool.

His features, innocent and soft which was the complete opposite from Jungkook. “What did you do ?” Jimin asks him softly, but of course he couldn’t hear.

A sweet image of you, pops up in his mind. How you smiled down at him nervously, returning a slight wave in class the other day and even then, he could remember the pain in your eyes. Jimin felt like a dumbass, how was it that he never noticed you until now? You were literally too cute.So cute, that when jimin tried to close his eyes for the tenth time that night, all he could imagine was you. It didn’t matter the scenario- but a popular one was definitely you underneath him.

He could see you, a sweaty and trembling mess. Your hair falling messily over your flushed face and pillow. He’d dip his head, kissing you passionately once you fell apart, because of him. although he’d wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of his boyfriend’s name coming out your mouth instead.

Ugh why was he thinking about you so much?

There was just something to you, that had Jimin's skin burning-a desire he hadn’t felt in years. It reminded him of when he first met Jungkook. So much, he opted in not attending your class, already knowing that it certainly wouldn’t be the professor he’d imagine taking against that desk.

The image vanishes and now for the 11th time tonight Jimin found himself awake. “Oh no” he groans suddenly once he lifts the covers from his lower half. He’s hard, the kind where rubbing one out or taking a cold shower simply won't do.

A soft sigh leaves his mouth in frustration. He was angry at Jungkook for his actions, but it wasn’t exactly like he could go to your house and ask “Hey! I'm sorry I completely ignore your existence- but do you think you could suck me off really quick?”. Jimin bites his bottom lip with a quiet chuckle.

If only..

“Kook…” He whines, poking the sleeping boy in his face to wake him. “Kookie please wake up.” he begs, leaning over and kissing him softly until he feels him stir. Jungkook awakes smiling wearily, when he realizes Jimin was no longer ignoring him.

“What's wrong babe?” His hoarse voice sends a shiver down Jimin’s spine when it plays on one of his weaknesses.

Stupid, sexy asshole…

Jimin grabs himself, stroking up and down softly. When he lets out soft sighs, Jungkook picks up on them fairly quickly. Sleep leaves him and he rises, watching Jimin's face contort with pleasure.

“Fuck…” he breathes at the hot sight in front of him.

“I thought about it ...her with us. God I couldn’t help it…” Jimin confesses and Jungkook only swallows because he knows exactly who ‘her’ is. “It was fucking hot kook- I want her. I want to fuck her and you baby.” he moans stroking himself just right.

“I want the both of you...”

Jungkook’s persona suddenly darkens and he takes both of Jimin's hands away. The already naked male climbing over his boyfriend and pinning them above his head possessively. “You don’t speak to me all day and now..?- I thought we already talked about this jiminie?” he speaks the words tightly through his teeth. Jimin pouts writhing under him to get some sort of stimulation. Jungkook notices and he takes one of his hands away to stroke Jimin's shaft himself.

“Y/n isn’t right for us. Not for you and especially not for me.” he lies. You were perfect, you always were. But you hated him and he hated you. That's how it should stay.

It has to…

“Ugh..” the silver moans under him. His hips bucking into his boyfriend’s hand. “ Let me top you.” Jimin requests desperately.

Jungkook’s eyes widen “you want to top me?”

Jimin nods “y-yes” .

Jungkook frowns for a second and he sees the predatory look in Jimin's gaze. He hadn’t seen that look in years, so why the hell was he acting this way now?

Y/n what are you doing to him?

+++

Chapter One | Masterlist

#bts #bangtan #jimin #jungkook #bts scenerio #bts smut #bts smut dirty #bts au #bts imagine #jeon jungkook #park jimin #mxm #taehyung #yoongi #maknae line #najjoossii

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lachalaine · 6 years

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@kuebcko

shit, the emotional and soul-breaking avalanche went off. tbh, luckily. we could sense how it weighs you down and your emotions; it seeps through your words. and im proud and happy to read through your anger outburst, that you cut a hole into your facade like man you tried to keep up the good mood for us all while still battling with those heavy exceptions and roles in your own life hidden from tumblr. listen, we know you dont to want to turn your blog into some sadness pool or a place filled with your personal problems but it had to be done and its good you finally did. we wont judge you or blame you for your troubles, we strengthen you back as good as we can. im sorry your mom lost your job. when you wrote about your even worse mood drop i hoped it didnt happen bc you told me if it would happen it would happen around the end of july. if you need any support in the next months im here for you. you might not or wont tell me but still, im at your side. and though i hope for your mom for things to get better, i hope for you in the first place. its not unreasonable of you, neither towards your mom,your brother not unfair towards that friend you broke up with. you are important, your self-worth and mental and physical health just the same.

Oh, Scaley, you have no idea how thankful I am to have you.

Thank you so much for this message. It made me cry again as soon as I read it. Though it’s the kind of tears that I think I’ve needed for a good while now, so I’m grateful to you, thank you.

I hadn’t expected all the emotion to hit me like that at all tbh, and you’re right - it really is an avalanche. I just got the idea this morning and thought I’d try it, and then it just kept getting longer and was entirely unfiltered and I was scared of posting it. Scared I’d be drawing more negative energy on here when I had told myself to stop. But I needed it, and I’m glad I did. And heck, it’s kinda funny in a way – because whenever the avalanche hits me, I always get at least one message from someone that’s read it saying they’re proud and happy that I finally lost my chill. And it’s… amusing, honestly – and reassuring too.

I was hoping my negative moods hadn’t come across as often as I’d felt like it did, so I’m relieved that people don’t think it’s like that all the time on here, because that’s all it’s been feeling like on my end and I was worried that it was too obvious. Though I’m pleased too – about as much as you, I think. I feel like a really heavy weight was lifted off and I feel like… people know me a bit better now, even. I know I talk a lot to people but I don’t really say much about myself, and I didn’t realize how much I was hiding until I went full meltdown mode on there. Though it feels good because now I don’t feel like I’m pushing people away anymore from the worst sides of my personality and now they now what I sound like when I lose my temper too and I was afraid of showing that but no one immediately dumped me afterwards and even showed me support so –

I’m thankful for all the understanding that was given to me for this, and just the time spent to read through it. I think I really needed it. Especially because like ---- I wanted to tell you guys. So that maybe you’d stop worrying so much, because I could see people were concerned but I was scared of saying anything but also I’ve been that friend that’s had to sit back and watch as another friend hid their problems from me and it’s frustrating and only more worrying in the long run and you guys don’t deserve that !! Regardless if it was a personal issue, it’s not fair – particularly because you guys were only trying to help. And I feel like I put too much of a veil on here and don’t let anyone see past the veil and adbhadbhahda I DON’T WANNA BE FAKE EITHER.

And I feel like I have been a little bit, with all the constant attempts at happiness even when I don’t necessarily feel it and it just – doesn’t sit right with me. So I figured this was my best shot at just getting it all out and it turned out okay, all things considered. I guess I just – wanted someone to listen, but was too afraid of doing it one on one because I get. Terribly awkward about that. I just end up skipping the conversation and trying to shift it to someone else and making them try to smile and sadashdah I’m not good at opening up, in all honestly!

Though I’m… really glad I found a safe spot with you guys.

Thank you for always noticing my efforts as well, Scaley, and for your kind messages and well wishes. Thank you for always being my constant and strongest supporter no matter what, even if I may be late getting back to you sometimes. Thank you for reassuring me that I’m not being unreasonable nor unfair either. I just needed that comfort from someone else, in truth, not just me trying to reassurance myself but being uncertain anyway. That friend thing was weighing on me for a while as well, because I realized only too late how heavy things were in the months leading up to the breakup and I think the way I was being treated by him had only compounded to my problems, so I’m glad you mentioned that. Because I wanted to take care of myself too from now on, and I couldn’t do that with him around. And I worry because perhaps that makes me seem callous and cold that I don’t regret the loss of friendship, but my life is honestly... just better off within him, really. And thank you for helping me realize that, as your words have always helped me to see things clearly too, tbh, so it mean a lot! I always save your messages because they always do wonders in making me feel better, and honestly, you even remember things about me all the time, I’m so !! I don’t know how I deserve you!

Because you’re right! I was actually expecting something like this to occur but not this soon! My mood drops honestly always happen in June or July because the closer it gets to my birthday, the worse I feel about myself. Which isn’t to say I hate my birthday because I love it a lot !! I’d celebrate the whole week of it if I could!! But then I’m also --- I always feel bad because people do nice things for me and I feel unworthy of it around this time of the year. Which is also why I don’t talk about my feelings I guess, because then people go out of their way to worry about me and I feel bad and like I don’t deserve it. So it’s a thin line to cross and it’s never fun – though I’m hopeful that because the bomb has gone off so early, perhaps I may not have the same problem later on in the month.

I can at least hope. Because I’d actually want to enjoy my birthday this time and not feel bad about myself, if at all possible tbh aaaaaaah !!

The next few months may be harder or easier, idk yet – but I promise I will try my best to be more open to people, including you, and try to reach out more. Honestly, Tumblr RP is the one place I can try to forget all the stuff that drains me IRL, and that’s why I love coming back here so much. You guys really do make me happy all the time, and I know things would have been much worse if I didn’t have this outlet and you guys to depend on to take my mind away from everything else.

My smiles and laughter with you guys isn’t a lie. Meeting you all is one of the best things to have happened to me in a long time, and for that I’m very grateful – so thank you very much!

I hope things get better for my family and I too. I’m just trying to think of all the good stuff that makes me smile and focusing on that instead, and I’m hoping that before I know it – maybe things won’t feel so hard anymore after a while. And you are a large part of all that good stuff, and I adore you for that, Scaley!

Thank you for sending this message to me and taking some time out of your day to make me feel better. I’m already feeling so much lighter and not so shut in anymore, and that’s a big improvement after the last couple of weeks. I hope to feel marginally better soon.

I love you, Scaley and you’re the best! And I hope things are going well for you too! I’ll be back on Discord to scream at you soon, I promise. Thank you so much and stay safe, I miss you !!

#&& make sure the stars is what you aim for (positivity)#kuebcko #/ ily scaley #/ thank you so much #/ where would i be without u #/ i always imagine just #/ hugging you really tightly when you send me things like this #/ thank you #/ you're such a wonderful blessing to my life and I'm too lucky #/ you're the best thank you #submission

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