just applied for the job i had during college and honestly it feels bad man
everyone I know is actually accomplishing things with their life, buying property, getting promotions, getting their masters etc
fuck, even my cousin who is several years younger than me and has very little to no college (aka doesn’t have student loan debt) just got a management position at a fortune 100 company and is now making more than 60k
And where am I now?
Couldn’t do my job at the big company I was supposed to work at, where I had insurance and got paid enough to actually pay for things
all I do now is feeding horses and basically just putting them in different places 4 hours a day 6 days a week for less than what I made ever since I started working and living off that and what’s left of what I had accumulated in my 401k at my old job (that im gonna have to pay thousands of taxes on for taking it out too early im sure) and therefore fucking myself over for the future- everyone always says start young well I did and I’m too fucking useless to function without wanting to remove my skin apparently so I fucked that up
And yeah it was just an online application so I don’t know how likely it is they’ll even respond and hire me again but I feel like I am going backwards
I did what everybody always insisted I had to do
i went to college
i got a “real” (office) job
i got more than 25k student loan debt I have not been able to make even a dent in
and what do i have to show for it? even worse mental illness? A piece of paper that said i went to college? Crippling fear of answering a phone? an extreme hate for the way I look now?
and now im (at least attempting) to go back to where I was before all that bc that’s the only place i can think of will hire me, to a job I did not enjoy whatsoever, where I am going to have to explain to the high schoolers that would be working closing shift that I will have to do after the morning job like yeah i left here 3 years ago for a competitive job that paid twice as much at one of the (apparently voted) best employers in the city that everyone wants to work for but I threw it all away bc im a useless fucking idiot and now I’m back here working fast food watching all these people who will go to school and get the jobs they want and not fuck it up and actually be successful and move on with their lives
it just,,, it doesn’t feel good
i feel like I’ll never get anywhere so what’s even the point
It's valid to criticize the fact that there are gender markers on things which don't need it (such as on state drivers licenses), but it is pretty awesome that some places are now legally recognizing that people are nonbinary - that there are some people who are not binary cis or binary trans people. When criticizing gender markers, I encourage people to remember that it isn't nonbinary peoples' fault that it is still hard (or impossible) to legally change which gender you're legally recognized as in many places. We can recognize the vices and faults of our system without placing undue blame on our own.
How do you believe Diluc would react to an unplanned pr*gnancy with the person he loves? (I feel like it wouldn’t be good ngl) If you only write for GN readers feel free to ignore :)
Since fic requests are closed no ... Fic but here's a general idea.
At first? Horror. Absolute horror. He's shocked and he doesn't know how to feel, and he may end up, bluntly, telling his partner he needs to leave for a week (he may end up lying and saying it has to do with business, when in reality he just needs to think.)
He's not about to abandon his partner anytime soon, but he... He doesn't know how to feel. Is he ready to raise a child? Would be be good at it?
... he doesn't know. He really doesn't know, and eventually, he would tell his partner that he's scared.
Eventually, as he sees his partner's stomach grow little by little... His fear fades. By the time they hit 6 months, Diluc's fear seems completely gone, he always wanting to keep his hand on his partner's stomach, oftentimes talking about how he wonders how the child would act.
He is still a little afraid, there's no lie about that, but... Now he thinks .. he thinks he can handle it. The idea of family finally seems... Ideal.
He would find a way to make sure Kaeya could see his new nephew/niece as they're born, or at least, during their first few days of life, preparing ahead of time.
The first time he holds his child, he sobs. He sobs and holds them close, and so incredibly delicate. Already, he adores his child... Loves them so much, the love for his child makes his love for his partner seem insignificant.
While he's not sure if he's going to be the best father, he's not exactly afraid.
Maybe this is his happy ending. He didn't expect it... But, being married, having a family... Finding a path of reconciliation with Kaeya...
He only wishes Crepus could see his grandchild, and during the first year of his child's life, he brings both his partner and his child to his father's grave, and tells his grave about everything...
And apologizes how things didn't work out, but they're okay now.
Stepping up my game a little-- Painted commissions! Something something need the money, I know those are stressful to read So! Here’s this without the that. Half Bodies for 25 and full bodies for 40, add 25% for wings, +50% for an extra person. And if that’s a little rich for your blood, a colored full body sketch is 15, though all these prices are flexible and may go up depending on the piece.
Will do: fanart, OCs, anthro, mild NSFW
Won’t: Explicit NSFW or mech (both subject to change), gore, complex backgrounds, any kind of hate speech
DM if you have any questions or are interested, payment is 1/2 before 1/2 after, Paypal preferred but Venmo is also an option. All prices USD
Please reblog, take care, and have a good day!
I’m genuinely worried about what is going to happen to me when the Kenobi show comes out. My brain and what it chooses to rabidly love are entirely out of my control. Like I am going to become a monster. Unrecognizable to friends and family. Just the thought of seeing the first shot of Ewan McGregor in costume is an incomprehensible dreamscape notion the scope of which I shy away from like one beholding for the first time the eldritch form of the unseeable and unknowable great mystery. And Hayden Christensen is going to be there too. I’ve waited 15 years 11 months and 26 days for this.
this or that
i was tagged by so many great ppl (@daydreamstew 💕 @nexttimeemptytheclip 💕 @ama-ssiempre 💕 @southernfriedblondebitch) to do this little this or that meme thingie, so here we go! thanks pals.
hot shower or cold shower // texting or calling // earphones or headphones // paperback or hardcover // matte or gel // 12 hour clock or 24 hour clock // blue or green // sunsets or sunrises // tulips or orchids // candle light or moon light // sci-fi or horror // pen or pencil // pandas or koalas // gold or silver // sneakers or boots // denim jacket or leather jacket // pink or purple // wind chimes or dreamcatchers // chocolate or sour candy // deodorant or perfume // drive-in movie theatre or the cinema // pastel colors or neutral/earth tones // butterflies or honeybees // lemonade or iced tea // past or future // constellations or aurora borealis
sfdfsfs who hasn't done this yet!? i'm not sure so sorry if i'm double-tagging you! passing the baton to @mbop123, @chateaustemichelle, @mitavalia, @heartpeen, @lindybot, @elise-jupiterstyle, @lemoncupcake if you'd like to do this! 🤓🤗
Hey just so you know, the blog you reblogged the giraffe painting from is a transphobe :(
you mean w/txch? you think you could show me where they show they're a transphobe?