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hibernationsuit · 2 months

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hello i am crawling into your inbox on all fours. whats the new lore. hows mars. whats goin on there. 🤲

HIIIIII thank u for asking oh my god :'3

backstory for the whole thing is that i've had two story ideas in my head that i rotated for a lobg while until tow hyperfixation appeared in june last year and i have barely given any thoughts to them

NOW for a while i've been, like, working more on toby's backstory and all and done some worldbuilding and started having thoughts abt pulling him out of being a video game oc and instead keep him as an original oc. which in turn led me to have some thoughts about the original stories. what i decided is to ditch the plots, combine the stories into one and throw toby & co. in there HEHE

Now what's happening in the story itself: basically Earth has been terraforming and colonizing planets for a while, and only after a while went "oh wait we also have Mars over there". So they go there like 100 years before the story plot starts and terraform it and it kinda starts to have it's own thriving colony & people are happy. Then Earth gets bored and kinda leaves it to be on its own (which Mars is kinda happy about honestly, Earth directives were starting to get annoying).

Meanwhile Toby's (and others') backstory stays the same (though some details r changed, like corporations and projects, how Earth works and all), and so kinda does the reason for Tobias to leave Earth. The managers of the project he was working in as a lead chemist were doing some fucked up unethical shit and he tried to whistleblow them and almost ended up getting killed by the lead guy of the project for that. The corporation the project was part of wasn't really pleased w it but decided to deal with the lead guy instead and leave Toby alone (partly bc Klara has a very high rank in their intercorporational relations + Toby has some friends in internal affairs).

At the same time Klara got an offer to move to Mars bc their corporation's daughter company is having some problems she would deal with very well, and while Toby didn't really like the idea at the beginning, they did realize that it would also be a good way for him to "start a new chapter" (and also get away from ppl who really don't like him). Plus it's said that Mars is really doing better than Earth in some way.

And so they decide to go there. Yay 🤍

EXCEPT THAT IT IS NOT DOING BETTER SJFKKFSHFJJFJX Mars is in fact, kinda fucked up in a way that it's very divided, kinda dangerous and has a shitty government that only cares about money. Plus there's some rebels who want to get rid of their current government. But hey at least there's a gian ocean on the north side of Mars! woter

When they arrive there their transport gets ambushed by said rebels and they, for some reason, take Klara w them. Toby tries to start a fight and is left on that spot until found by local government officials. They kinda know why he & Klara arrived here and r thus somewhat nice with him, BUT since the corporation Klara is working for is kinda against the local government, they aren't That Nice. When he asks them to help him out get Klara back they laugh at his face and go "lol get a job and calm down."

And so he decides to do it all by himself (+ teams up with some other people). And so the story begins!*

and that's all i've figured out so far properly

ANYWAY!!!! i am soooo excited about this one oughhhhhh thank you for asking <3333 i think i'll post the more official writing things on my writeblr once i sort it out, but mostly i'll also talk about it here and post art here or on my art blog TEEHEE <3

*meanwhile klara is having a surprisingly ok time btw. the rebels apparently wanted her to do smth they need her skills for and she is treated sooo well. much better than at her own job <3

#asks

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deadcactuswalking · 2 months

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23/03/2024 (V of BTS and... Mark Knopfler?)

It’s a short week, largely to prepare for what chaos should be coming the next, but right at the top, Benson Boone clenches his first ever #1 with “Beautiful Things”. I know pretty much no-one who cares about pop music on a deeper level likes this song, but hey, if I’m the only person happy about this other than Booner Boy himself, I’ll take it. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Given our few new songs, we also only have a handful of notable dropouts to start with, so we’ll bid adieu to the small but decent selection of “Could You be Loved” by Bob Marley & The Wailers, “Angel Numbers / Ten Toes” by Chris Brown, “My Love Mine All Mine” by Mitski and finally, “Disconnect” by Becky Hill and Chase & Status.

As for what’s back, we see returns for “Asking” by Sonny Fodera and MK featuring Clementine Douglas at #73 and, sigh, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #68, and then a spattering of gains. Our most notable boosts are for “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #59, “Wasted Youth” by goddard. and Cat Burns at #58, “We Ain’t Here for Long” by Nathan Dawe at #55, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna featuring Clementine Douglas at #54, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by a bestiary of enemies to good taste at #50, “Green & Gold” by Rudimental and Skepsis featuring Charlotte Plank and Riko Dan at #43, “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #34, “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli surging high and fast up to #23 thanks to her releasing an album that includes a pretty great remix of the song featuring Cardi B and SZA, and then “Austin” by Dasha at #15, “Lovers in a Past Life” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man at #14 and finally, making his way into the top 10 for the first time, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #10.

Our top five this week consists of “End of Beginning” by Djo at #5, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #4, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé at #3, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande at a new peak of #2 off of the debut, that could grab a week at the top soon, and of course, Benny Boone at #1. Now for our four new songs, which feel like names picked out of a hat and placed onto the chart.

New Entries

#60 - “Been Like This” - Meghan Trainor and T-Pain

Produced by Gian Stone and Grant Boutin

This is a joke, right? Or a soundtrack to a reality television competition, or daytime talk show? T-Pain has grown into his role as wholesome cuddly media figure surprisingly well and a collaboration with Meghan Trainor, whilst demonic, seems to be the best way to seal that position, with this being the lead single for her next album… Timeless. Well, that’s one thing to call your music. Mean jokes aside, hey, T-Pain is here so at least there’ll be some genuine, not as obnoxious charisma? Well, first of all, it’s electro swing, so my first instinct is to step away from my laptop, keel over and die, especially when Meghan starts to singing about how she keeps it juicy and then eventually that she’s “still that bitch”, as if she was ever that bitch to begin with. There’s something so cynical about Trainor’s vocals that I didn’t notice just the true extent of until T-Pain came in with an infectious call-and-response and weirdly-mixed but fun-extruding harmonies that almost would convince me on the entire song if he didn’t have to play to Meghan’s lack of personality, especially when placed against each other in the bridge. T-Pain can sell this as some goofy cartoon clown, but it probably wouldn’t charted without Ms. Trainor, who brings pretty much nothing to the song other than taking it a tad too seriously, despite the fact that there’s no reason, lyrically, for this to even be a duet. Also, Meghan, I’m not sure you can even sing the line about GRAMMYs in T-Pain’s verse on the account of you only have one.

#52 - “Never be Lonely” - Jax Jones and Zoe Wees

Produced by Jax Jones, Mark Ralph, Neave Applebaum and Tom Demac

I actually really like Jax Jones’ producer tag, it’s cute and rhythmic, has a little stutter to it. It’s nice. I have to say more than that, don’t I? I have to acknowledge Zoe Wees’ voice being misued and manipulated to just sounding characterless, I have to acknowledge how this heavily interpolates the drop from “Rhythm is a Dancer” by Snap!, one of the best Eurodance songs ever despite some… regrettable lines. It spent six weeks at #1 in 1992, blocking off Jimmy Nails, Freddie Mercury, Luther Vandross, Janet Jackson and of course, “Ebenezer Goode” by the Shamen from the top spot, before reappearing in remixed form in 2003 and 2008, reaching the top 40 again both times. “Never be Lonely” doesn’t work as an update of the song because of completely different lyrical content that I actually hate, asking someone to tell her how it feels that she’ll always be there for them, it’s really patronising and weird. It doesn’t work as a reimagining or reinterpretation because it goes for the same tone, and doesn’t adopt or adapt any of the original lyrical conceits. The one thing it does have is a Cascada remix. Yes, that Cascada. I have no idea why, but it exists.

#18 - “Going Home” (Theme from Local Hero) - Mark Knopfler’s Guitar Heroes

Produced by Guy Fletcher

Oh, so I guess this episode really will get as serious as cancer. This one might take a while to explain. So in 1983, Bill Forsyth wrote and directed Local Hero, a highly-acclaimed comedy drama that is actually former US Vice President Al Gore’s favourite film. Its soundtrack features a five-minute instrumental piece known as the “Theme of the Local Hero”. I’ve never seen the film so I don’t know how exactly it appears or makes sense within its narrative but I do know it has far transcended its origin. “Going Home” was the first single in Mark Knopfler’s solo career and has become a staple in both his and his band’s live performances, as well as becoming another theme, now for Knopfler’s home football team, Newcastle United. It’s probably the most lukewarm take of all time to say that “Going Home” is a beautiful piece, it honestly gives me goosebumps from its transcendent new-age introduction and excellently distant sax from Michael Brecker, that eventually transform into a very 80s-sounding but still profoundly triumphant jam that emulates the feeling of a journey in the UK pretty well. Maybe that’s what the film’s about, I don’t know. It peaked at #56 in 1983, whilst Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was #1 - good week for rock epics, I guess.

If you know Knopfler from anything, it’s likely his band Dire Straits, one of the few important British rock bands that hit #1 in the States and never back over here on the islands - their #1 is of course “Money for Nothing”. The legacy of Dire Straits is not something tangible for me or that I’ve ever really understood, their sound was varied and evolved through what was ultimately a very short career. They’re not a legendary act but are still big names and incredibly well-connected, especially Knopfler, who has played and produced extensively for many artists and soundtracks. In January, Knopfler sold over 100 of his guitar and amp equipment at auction and in March, he’s compiled a charity ensemble to cover “Going Home” in support of cancer awareness.

Its status as a charity single is the only possible explanation for why this nearly 10 minute instrumental piece even touched the charts let alone the top 20, but it is stuffed with big names, from rock icons like Brian May, RIngo Starr and Joan Jett and newer cats like Sam Fender and Orianthi to genuine oddballs like Keiji Haino and head-scratching inclusions like, uh, Brad Paisley, who I will only ever remember for “Accidental Racist”. There are over 60 musicians on this record and damn near all of them contributed through their guitar playing, other than Ringo on drums, The Who’s Roger Daltrey on my favourite, the harmonica (that you can barely hear at times - Daltrey’s harmonica should be put to better use), and a few others. You can tell that Fletcher and Knopfler did their best job to try and collate recordings that were clearly from different times, places, equipment set-ups and audio qualities, but this is still basically a meandering pile of guitar overdubs that lasts longer than some full EPs and doesn’t really let you register any single guitarist as them playing. The collectiveness of it may just be the point, to show a united front against cancer or what have you, and there’s definitely a lot to appreciate if you’re an in-depth fan of guitar playing or a guitarist yourself, of which I’m not. I will admit, this is genuinely impressively easy to sit through for how lengthy it is, largely because of the dexterity on display, the fact that the melody of the original “Going Home”, even when developed on in the many ways it is within this piece, is still so infectious, and also because it comes out of not just cynical philanthropy but a genuine passion for the guitar as an instrument. The cover art is a Sgt. Peppers parody of the musicians standing in front of a famous guitar shop in London, and the wide array of musicians from a lot of different genres, eras and even techniques shows how wide and universal this feels an appreciation of the guitar… but I’ll say what my dad always said about Dire Straits (because, really, dads are the only people with viable Dire Straits opinions): “it all becomes much of a muchness.” My favourite of theirs is “Walk of Life” by the way, it’s so goofy. Love it.

#14 - “FRI(END)S” - V

Produced by Connor McDonough and Riley McDonough

V is the latest of the BTS boys to release a solo English single, seemingly leading towards a solo career like Jung Kook, with credits stacked full of Anglophone pop songwriters and production from the McDonough brothers that results in a very serviceable pop song that I’m not sure would get much attention outside of the fact that it’s a BTS member, hence why sales jacked this one’s chart position up so high. It’s not a bad little song at all, in fact I like the distorted guitar lick and the amount of emotion V shows in his vocals despite all the effects, he has a real unique texture against the slodgier indie drums and the infectious bed of harmonies in the pre-chorus. The one way I could see this getting big organically would be that fun albeit gimmicky chorus that makes this an anti-climactic friend zone anthem, though the gimmick wears off after the second time and doesn’t really develop into anything new in the second chorus other than some pretty gross, reverb-drenched spectacle. I usually wouldn’t give this manufactured bedroom pop much more of the time of day but there’s not much in the way of obnoxious performance or toxic lyrics here, it’s just that it really could be any other vaguely bitter male singer’s song. The first most obvious comparison is Joji due to their vocal textures, but Charlie Puth or Lauv could have easily made this work too, though probably not as well as V does here, especially not Puth. God, that would be horrible. Thank God for BTS that this song was never offered to Puth (not that he’d accept a song he didn’t spend 20 hours writing and producing himself, of course). Ugh, enough Puth talk, let’s end the episode.

Conclusion

God, this was not a great week, huh? Even if I’m not fussed about the new version, the composition of “Going Home” makes Mark Knopfler and friends get a lock for Honourable Mention, and it really does end up as the song with the most - if not the only - human passion in this selection. Worst of the Week goes to Meghan Trainor, surprise, surprise, for “Been Like This” with T-Pain, and that’s all. Future, Shakira, O-Rod, Tyla, Hozier, Headie One, Artemas, Cardi B, Lil Nas X, Bryson Tiller, they could all hypothetically show up next week and it would be a big one, so prepare for that and who knows what else? It’s 2024, anything can chart. As for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Cola Boyy but we go on and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song reviews #mark knopfler #guitar heroes #dire straits #v #jax jones #zoe wees #cascada #meghan trainor #t-pain

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moony2moon · 5 months

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Unwound

The third part to an Unwind fanfic because yes.

[Part one- Farrell] [Part two- Anne]

Gian

Oh no. Oh no! OH NO! They kidnapped another kid! Gian looks at the new kid from his position on the chair where Miles set him down on. The kid looks nice, so maybe he can help him.

He sees Anne introduce herself to the boy "Welcome," she says, "to your new home! My name is Anne!" She points to Miles "And that's Miles. Melody is currently napping in the other room, but you'll meet her soon." The kid awkwardly stands there for a few seconds before speaking. "Uuuuuh... Hi, my name's Farrell, Farrell Coffey. It's nice to meet you all!"

Anne and Miles smile at him before Miles leaves to go to his room and Anne gives Farrell the grand tour of the shack. Gian watches them from the chair, before Farrell flops onto the couch next to his chair, looking exhausted.

Farrell just kind of lays there for a few seconds before looking up at Gian and giving him a sheepish smile and a tiny wave. "Hi..." He said "What's your name?"

"I'm Gian- but that doesn't matter, you have to get out of here!" Gian says with urgency "They're keeping you from your unwinding!" Gian's face goes pale when Farrell looks at him like he's insane and asks "Why would I NOT want that?"

This kid doesn't want to save lives!? He's just like these- these- these KIDNAPPERS! Gian starts to stammer. "B-b-but- they KIDNAPPED you-"

"Anne saved my life." Farrell counters, cutting Gian off mid-sentence. "Why would you want to leave?"

"Because I want to save lives! I NEED to be unwound!"

Farrell stares at Gian, as if staring into his soul, making him shiver. He then asks a question that he should definitely already know the answer to. "Would you rather be here, or be unwound?"

"Unwound, of course!"

Farrell narrows his eyes and raises an eyebrow "Okay, would you rather be here, or die?"

Now Gian is starting to get scared, his knees involuntarily trembling as he responds, taking it as a threat. "U-uhm... I-I would r-rather be h-here..."

Farrell tilts head to the side "But you just said you'd rather be unwound.

"Wh-what are you talking about-"

"If you're unwound," Farrell says "you're basically torn apart limb from limb, your pieces given to others. Have you ever heard of someone surviving being torn apart limb by limb?"

"H-how do you know!?" Gian intercepts. "You've never been unwound! You don't know what happens!"

Farrell stands up, looming over Gian as he tries to shrink away. "Have YOU ever been unwound?" He says before walking away, leaving Gian to alone to contemplate all that. But Gian is too terrified to even THINK straight.

#unwind dystology #unwind #unwholly #unsouled #undivided #unbound #unwound #unwind fanfic #unwind oc #tithe

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collectionsterri · 2 years

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Bondtech lgx vs hemera

#Bondtech lgx vs hemera mod#

#Bondtech lgx vs hemera upgrade#

Although Hemera has been developed from the ground up, it has been ensured that it maintains compatibility with the entire E3D ecosystem of. I will need to deal with firmware changes but it will not a problem since the brand provide a good explanation of it, just thinking how I will set the end stops and attach the entire extruder to the rods (combine with others designs provided above or remix the E3d adapter to UM2) the challenge will be keep a good balance on it… I will lose a bit of area in some of the axis probably and need to add a fan duct on it. Although E3D Hemera is designed to be used as a direct extruder, it can also be used as a Bowden extruder simply by adding a small adapter. The speed will be lower because of the extra weight but I always print slower than 60 and with bigger nozzles… and I’m printing a lot with TPU nowadays shores of 85A, 95A and 98A (semi-flex) so this should be a good direction even to print TPE /softer and showned in some demos. It’s a good option for me convert to 1.75mm filament because it’s almost impossible to find 2.85mm here and when I found it’s triple the price and has a lot of moisture due to low demand 😓 Direct Drive Bondtech LGX Lite with Mosquito Magnum Hotend on Ender 7 with. I also get an allmetal/ bimetal heatbreak to avoid the one with internal PTFE tube (it cames with Capricorn in a bore 4.1 heatbreak I guess). Zoe Moon) NCS ReleaseTollef - Take Our Time NCS Rele. I previously reviewed the Trianglelabs Matrix and it performed really well. This makes the thermal performance a bit better while also requiring less airflow. Smaller motor (weaker torch), but relation 7:1 and total extruder weight of 119 grams (photo bellow). Gian) NCS ReleaseAbstrakt - U NCS ReleaseSTAR SEED- Cayenne (feat. The main difference between the Matrix and the Hemera is the use of a bi-metal heat break instead of the regular titanium heat break used on the Hemera. Nowadays there is a newer and lighter extruder in the market, the H2 from Biqu, just got one. Prints like a charm now (even flexibles). But there is a 50 increase in drive gear perimeter. It is, especially when using our original QR 12mm 37.68mm perimeter drive gears. LGX Drive Wheel Not saying the Orbiter isn’t a good extruder. In retrospect I would recommend to start with a 3D-printed one. And it is precisely because of the large drive gears 18mm 56.52mm perimeter our new LGX will have advantage on the grip. Reports suggest that when it clogs, it clogs for good. A crossbreed of V6 and Mosquito, it takes V6 nozzles while pumping up a Volcano flow, at least on paper. Not a huge fan, since it needs a specialized nozzle. Simply put, the E3D Hemera, is a state-of-the-art dual drive extrusion system which has put performance and user-friendliness at the forefront of its. Also it's quite heavy and the included linear bearings are trash. This appears to be a go-to hotend for high flow. There is also a aluminium head assembly on AliExpress, but be careful, you may have to modify (drill/mill) to get it working. I would also recommend to print everything from ABS or similar temperature stable. V6 groove mount compatible hotend (24V Heater Cartridge, PT100 Thermistor) "Tinker-Firmware" by TinkerGnome (/TinkerGnome/Ultimaker2Marlin/releases) "Ultimaker 2 BMG direct drive mount" by Tigerhawk60 (- Bondtech BMG extruder My original design was quite laborious, but I found a more elegant solution based on ultiarjan's suggestion:ġ) tube-holder: reuses the bowden-tube as cable-guideĢ) Y-endstop-extender: BMG stepper motor will crash into the UM2 housing without it

#Bondtech lgx vs hemera mod#

Sorry for the late reply, but I revised my mod quite a bit. Which one do you think is a better choice, in terms of print quality for ABS and nylon CF kind of materials i don’t really print fast. But then I found another option: bondtech ddx+mosquitos hotend.

#Bondtech lgx vs hemera upgrade#

To remove or replace a nozzle, never forget to secure the heater block before twisting the nozzle.Hello TheGrine, im interested in this configuration, could you please give me feedback of the configuration? Looking to upgrade your printer with a next-generation extrusion system Hemera is a compact, dual-drive extrusion system which combines our V6 HotEnd with. Wanted to upgrade the extruder to ed3 Hemera. After, you can simply unscrew the heat break from the heater block. When removing the heater block or changing nozzles, caution is required.īefore removing the heater block from the heat break (or vice versa), heat-up the nozzle, hold the heater block and release some tightening pressure from the nozzle. To address the heat creep issue the design features a narrower section with thinner walls. We recommend to use the included silver based thermal grease to properly fit the Bondtech heat-break in the Mini’s heat-sink. 1x 32×5.48 mm stainless steel heat-break.The adjusted length of the PTFE tube also prevents clogs to form between tube and heat-break. This Stainless Steel Bondtech Heat Break Kit for Prusa Mini addresses and solves the heat-creep issues revealed during the extensive testing we performed on the Prusa Mini.

#Bondtech lgx vs hemera

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 2 years

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Ok can u listen to Gian last 2 IG story’s where he’s at a restaurant showing food bc I swear to god I hear L talking the 1st one I hear her at the end the 2nd she speaks more. It’s driving me insane I came hear thinking U guys would be talking about it but no one is to me it sounds just like her the more I listen. Soon as I heard the 1st clip I thought it was here but couldn’t 💯 say then he posted the 2nd and now I’m convinced it’s her. Pls tell I’m right🤞🏻

In this one it seems but in the second it doesn't Gonna post the second one in another post.

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reinerispretty · 4 years

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rotations. bonus! (y/n) is pregnant

can i request zuko learning that his wife is pregnant? (like after the honeymoon stage) and how would he react on the following 9 months?

Marvellous Masterpiece of series you had us read! Thank you for everything! I wanted to ask if is not too much to ask (if you want to of course... it is just a suggestion😰😂) if you can write another bonus with y/n realises she is pregnant and sees how they are with their children. The book change my perspective completely about Zuko. I love Zuko, but now... I am in love. Thank you and have a nice day! Stay safe!

I'm so sad that rotations is over!!! 😭 I'm definitely gonna reread it again! It was so good! You're such a talented writer! Thank you so much for creating such a great story ❤❤ On a side note, what about a blurb where Zuko and y/n find out they're having a baby ! 😱 I could only imagine Zuko freaking out about it 😂

as u can see....this was widely requested. thank u to everyone who did!! :)

(Y/N) inhaled the sharp ocean breeze as she stepped off the boat. It had been years since she had been back to Ember Island. The last time she had set foot on its shores, she was sixteen and plotting to save the world from a tyrannical monster. Now, she was twenty-four, happily married, and queen of the very nation she had been fighting against. Interesting, how life worked.

Zuko was already waiting for her at the end of the dock. He had left the palace a few days early to make sure the house was properly cleaned of any dirt, dust, and unhappy memory. (Y/N) ran into his arms and he lifted her up, spinning her in a circle before setting her gently back on her feet.

“I missed you!” She exclaimed, before planting a kiss on his lips. Zuko smiled into it before pulling away.

“I missed you too. How was your trip?” (Y/N) shrugged.

“I only threw up twice! That’s got to be a new record, I think.” Zuko chuckled as he took his wife’s hand and led her up to the beach house.

“I think you’re going to like how the house looks,” He said. “I even included a little surprise for you.”

“A surprise!” She gasped. “I love surprises. Is it a turtle duck pond? I think everywhere we go should have a turtle duck pond.”

“Something even better than a turtle duck pond.” (Y/N) scoffed as they walked up the rocky steps to the backyard of the beach house.

“There’s no such thing.” As she turned to face forward, her eyes widened at the sight of all of her friends: Katara, Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Suki all stood before her, big smiles on their faces as they shouted:

“Surprise!”

(Y/N) immediately left Zuko in the dust, running toward her friends and enveloping them in tight hugs. She hugged Toph first, then Suki, Sokka, Aang, and saved her hug for Katara for last. They held onto each other tightly, rocking back and forth as (Y/N) cried into her shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Katara laughed as they pulled away. (Y/N) nodded as she quickly wiped away her tears. It had been months since she had seen any of her friends, and it had been nearly years since they were all in the same place at the exact same time. To see everyone together made her more than emotional.

“I’m sorry, I’m just really surprised and really happy! What are you all doing here?”

“Zuko asked us all to take a well-deserved vacation,” Toph said, cracking her knuckles.

“You’ve been working hard at the palace,” Zuko said as he came up behind her. “I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you.”

“Aw, who knew Zuko had a heart,” Sokka joked.

“Uh, I kind of called it the whole time,” (Y/N) laughed. She clasped her hands together. “Food! We need food and drinks and--”

“And everything will be taken care of by the servants,” Zuko said, rubbing his hands into her shoulders. “All we have to do it relax.”

They spent the remainder of the day at the beach, swimming and building sand castles like they had when they were young. (Y/N) had lounged on the beach beside Suki and turned her head to speak to the Kyoshi Warrior. “You know what I’m really craving? Sea prunes. They sound so good right now.”

Sokka heard her statement and looked at her quizzically. “You hate sea prunes. Like, with a passion.” (Y/N) shrugged.

“Maybe I’m changing as a person.”

(Y/N) had requested of their servants that their dinner be a feast. She loaded food on to her plate and went back for seconds and thirds. She even saved room for fruit tarts for dessert. Zuko had to practically carry her upstairs to their bedroom because she was so full.

The next morning, (Y/N) eyes flew open and she immediately ran to the bathroom. She slammed the door shut and hunched over the toilet, unfortunately throwing up all the delicious food she had eaten the night before. Although Zuko had been asleep, he was now on high-alert and knocked on the bathroom door.

“(Y/N)? Would you let me in?”

She coughed and shook her head weakly, even though he couldn’t see her. “No, it’s gross in here.”

“You act like I would care. Let me in, please.” Slowly, she unlocked the door and Zuko flew in, kneeling at her side and pulling her into his chest. “Are you feeling alright?”

(Y/N) nodded. “It was probably the sea prunes. I ate so many.” Zuko chuckled.

“Can I ask Katara to come in and check on you?” (Y/N) nodded again and Zuko propped her gently up against the bathroom wall. Within minutes, Katara was kneeling down to check her for any illness.

“Good morning,” (Y/N) said sarcastically. Katara laughed.

“It’s strange for you to get sick like this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sick.”

“It’s because I have the blood of champions,” (Y/N) said nonchalantly. “I’m really feeling fine, Zuko’s just a worrier.”

Katara stared at (Y/N) for a moment, her brows furrowed, before leaving the bathroom completely. (Y/N) sat on the floor, confused. While Katara was dependable and motherly, there were definitely times when she did things out of the ordinary. When she returned to the bathroom with Toph, (Y/N) thought that was definitely strange.

“No offense, but why is Toph here?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Fire Feet.” Katara leaned in and whispered something inaudible in Toph’s here. The earthbender’s eyes widened before an excited smile appeared on her face. She stepped closer to (Y/N) until their toes were touching.

“(Y/N), could you tell me why I can feel two heartbeats inside of you?” (Y/N) squinted her eyes in confusion.

“Toph, what are you talking about?” She looked up at Katara, who bit her lip to hide her smile. Suddenly, it clicked. “No way. You’re lying! Absolutely not.”

“I don’t lie!” Toph exclaimed. “Well, not like I used to. But this time I am 100 percent telling the truth.”

“It all makes sense!” Katara said. “Your weird cravings, your larger than normal appetite, your emotions, even throwing up this morning! You’re pregnant!”

(Y/N’s) head felt a bit woozy. “I might need to sit down,” she said.

“You’re already sitting.” Toph and Katara sat on the ground beside her. (Y/N) smiled at her friends.

“I’m really pregnant?”

“Really,” Toph confirmed. (Y/N) felt her eyes fill with tears of happiness. Her entire life, she had always wanted a child, and to think that she might have a little her or a little Zuko in the future made her heart swell with joy.

“I have to tell Zuko,” She said. “Oh no, Zuko! He and I haven’t even talked about having kids yet. What if he-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Katara said as she helped up a hand. “Zuko absolutely adores you. I can’t imagine that he’ll be anything other than excited.”

“He loves you more than you loved those sea prunes last night,” Toph said. (Y/N) put her face in her hands and rubbed at her cheeks.

“Okay, I’m going to tell him.” She got to her feet and her friends followed her out of the bathroom.

“What are you going to say?” Katara asked as they walked down the hall. (Y/N) shrugged.

“I’m probably going to just wing it. It hasn’t failed me yet.”

“I feel like I can name a few times-” Toph began, but Katara hushed her.

(Y/N) walked out into the courtyard where the rest of their friends had gathered. The early morning sun was hot that day, so the servants had prepared watermelon juice and other cold items to keep their friends cool. Being from the Fire Nation, (Y/N) and Zuko had no problem with the heat.

Zuko’s face lit up as he saw her exit the house. “Hey! How are you-” She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him toward the beach, stopping on a cool portion of sand. The waves lapped at their feet as (Y/N) turned to face him. She inhaled a deep breath as Zuko stared at her, obviously confused by the morning’s events.

“I’m pregnant.” The expressions on Zuko’s face went from worry, to confusion, to shock, and (Y/N) could feel the nervousness creeping up within her, but she shoved it down. “Toph confirmed it. She said she could feel two heartbeats and Katara said that explained why I had been acting so weird. And I know we haven’t talked about it, and I don’t know if we’re ready, but--”

Zuko covered her mouth with his hand to get her to stop talking. “We’re having a baby?”

(Y/N) felt her eyes well with tears. She had known happiness before, but being here with Zuko and seeing the excitement on his face as he said “We” made her heart explode. She nodded quickly and Zuko pulled her into himself, burying his face into her neck.

“We’re going to have a family,” He whispered, and she could feel his tears dripping onto her neck. Both of them had had less than great families. Knowing that they were making one of their own with their love of their life made them both emotional.

“I’m going to be an uncle!” Sokka exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air. Zuko and (Y/N) looked up to find all of their friends sitting at the top of the steps, eavesdropping on their conversation. “Can I be the godfather?” Sokka asked. Katara snorted.

“You can barely take care of yourself! How are you going to take care of a baby?”

“Simple,” Sokka said. “I’ll just strap it onto my back when I go into battle.”

“Do you think it’ll like to go windsurfing?” Aang asked.

“Maybe it can visit Kyoshi Island and ride the giant koi!” Suki exclaimed.

“I just hope it doesn’t cry as much as Twinkle Toes.” Toph muttered.

(Y/N) looked up at Zuko, who beamed down at her. They had their own little family, with their friends, and they knew that their baby would be loved so much.

---

Tag List!

@beifongsss @musicalkeys , @aroyaldarknessblr , @itsivyberry , @harryisthesunshine , @coldlilheart ,

#writing #fanfiction #zuko x reader #sokka x reader #aang x reader #katara #sokka #aang #toph #zuko #azula #iroh #momo #appa #atla #avatar #the last airbender

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madebycoffee · 3 years

Photo

Finishing Up (1/1)

Keith: Augh so we can’t show them f***ing but we can show them finishing??? I could have lived my whole life without hearing that. I noticed that I seemingly still owe Savannah though... Well. I honestly don’t have anything else to add. I’ll be interested to see how the rest of the house reacts. Knowing this house... This little late night excursion won’t be a secret for long. Well, lovely viewers. Now for REAL I’ll see you all again soon.

@colourfullsims

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hlupdate · 5 years

Link

A handshake can quell political unrest and stifle impending war. It can, with a bit of spit, validate a gentleman’s agreement, end a years-long romantic relationship or send a young heart racing. But it all depends on the two parties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seismic jolt when Harry Styles, 25, wearing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fingers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gelato at the shop where she worked.

“He decided on a small mint chocolate gelato and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ‘Can I just say I absolutely loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCKING EXTENDED HISHAND AND REACHED TO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTUALLY FUCKINGSHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THE FUCK,” she wrote on Instagram after The Shakening. “Like I didn’t even say anything to gas him up besides ‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HUMAN BEINGTHAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW [sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Harry Styles, a handshake can be a romantic gesture, conjuring a potent reverence in its recipient, like the time he met Gucci’s creative director Alessandro Michele. “He was as attractive as James Dean and as persuasive as Greta Garbo. He was like a Luchino Visconti character, like an Apollo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, hastening to add: “Of course, Harry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the power he wields. In person, he’s towering, like someone who is not that much taller but whose reputation adds four inches. Styles has a sedative baritone, spoken in a rummy northern English accent, that tumbles out so slowly you forget the name of your first born, a swagger that has been nursed and perfected in mythical places with names like Paisley Park, or Abbey Road, or Graceland. Makes complete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Presley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one button on his shirt clinging for dear life around his torso. Then the part was awarded to another actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me growing up,” Styles tells me. “There was something almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I ended up getting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t disappointed,” he adds of his initial research and preparations to play The King. He seems relaxed about losing the part to Butler. “I feel like if I’m not the right person for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boyband grad was clearly uninterested in hollowing out the charts with more formulaic meme pop. Instead, to the surprise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ’70s rock. Some of the One Direction fan-hordes might have been confused, but no matter: Harry Styles sold one million copies.

Despite its commercial and critical success, he didn’t tour the album right away. He wanted to act in the Christopher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his credit, his portrayal of a British soldier cowering in a moored boat on the French beaches as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skewered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madonna or Justin Timberlake. Perhaps he was following advice given by Elton John, who had urged him to diversify. “He was brilliant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of people by surprise,” John writes in an email. “I love how he takes chances and risks.” Acting, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so different to music for me,” he says, suddenly animated. “They’re almost opposite for me. Music, you try and put so much of yourself into it; acting, you’re trying to totally disappear in whoever you’re being.”

Following the news that he missed out on Presley, his name was floated for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Little Mermaid. However, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. “It was discussed,” he acknowledges before swiftly changing the subject. “I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But everyone involved in it was amazing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watching it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the single is decided upon. “It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ‘n’ roll legend Stevie Nicks, told me recently over the phone. “It’s not like anything One Direction ever did. It’s pure Harry, as Harry would say. He’s made a very different record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keeping his cards close to his chest as to his next musical move. However, the air is thick with rumours that his main wingman for HS2 is Kid Harpoon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Creature. No less an authority than Liam Gallagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same studio – RAK in north-west London – at the same time making their second solo albums. Styles played him a couple of tracks, “and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gallagher enthused. “A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Harry Styles met Nicks at a Fleetwood Mac concert in Los Angeles in April 2015. Something about him felt authentic to the legendary frontwoman: grounded, like she’d known him forever, blessed with a winning moonshot grin. A month later, they met backstage at another Mac gig, this time at the O2 in London. Styles brought a carrot cake for Nicks’ birthday, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admission, Nicks doesn’t even celebrate birthdays, so this was a surprise. “He was personally responsible for me actually having to celebrate my birthday, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ relationship with Nicks is hard to define. Inducting her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist earlier this year, his speech hymned her as a “magical gypsy godmother who occupies the in-between”. She’s called him her “lovechild” with Mick Fleetwood and the “son I never had”. Both have moved past the preliminary chat acknowledging each other’s unquantifiable talents and smoothly accelerated towards playful cut-and-thrust banter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They perform together – he sings The Chainand Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one allegedly written about Taylor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those performances was at the Gucci Cruise afterparty in Rome in May, for “a lot of money”, Nicks tells me, in a “big kind of castle place”. She has become his de facto mentor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequencing (“She is really good at track listing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voices… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Following another Fleetwood Mac concert, at London’s Wembley Stadium, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indian) dinner. He then invited her back to his semi-detached Georgian mansion in north London for a listening party at midnight. The album – HS2or whatever it’ll be called – was finished. Nicks, her assistant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ living-room couch. They listened to it once through in silence like a “bunch of educated monks or something in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offering live feedback. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleeding through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, pressing “play” on a deeply personal work for your hero to digest, watching her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a double-edged thing,” he replies. “You’re always nervous when you are playing people music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you forget that people haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are happy with something and then someone who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ‘I really like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feeling very comfortable with whatever else happens to it.”

Wading through Styles’ background info is exhausting, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every goddam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been documented from six angles. (And yes, he does sometimes wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Redditch, Worcestershire, to parents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was seven. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sister Gemma, mum and stepdad Robin Twist. Rode horses at a nearby stable for free (“I was a bad rider, but I was a rider”). Stopped riding, “got into different stuff”. Formed a band, White Eskimo, with schoolmates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Factorwith a stirring but average rendition of Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four others, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direction. Became internationally famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dated but maybe didn’t date Caroline Flack, Rita Ora and Taylor Swift – whom he reportedly dumped in the British Virgin Islands. (This relationship, if nothing else, yielded an iconic, candid shot of Swift looking dejected, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Flying Ray.) One Direction discussed disbanding in 2014, actually dissolved in 2015. They remain friendly, and Styles officially went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his eponymous debut and lead single, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swaggering, soft rock sound. “It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 arena-packed shows across five continents grossed him, the label, whomever, over $61 million, Styles had all but disappeared. He has emerged only intermittently for public-facing events – a Gucci afterparty performance here, a Met Gala co-chairing there. He relocated from Los Angeles back to London, selling his Hollywood Hills house for $6million and shipping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. “My relationship with LAchanged a lot. What I wanted from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is sometimes necessary. He was in Tokyo for most of January, having nearly finished his album. “I needed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ‘Is it finished? Where am I at? What’s happening?’ I really needed that time away from everyone. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sabbatical mostly involved reading Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, singing Nirvana at karaoke, writing alone in his hotel room, listening to music and eavesdropping on strangers in alien conversation. “It was just a positive time for my head and I think that impacted the album in a big way.”

During this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Sometimes he texts these recommendations to his pal Michele at Gucci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Macgraw film, Love Story. “We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dressing up and he loves dressing up.”

Because he loves dressing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Gucci Tailoring campaigns and of its new genderless fragrance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I immediately understood there was something strong around him,” Michele tells me. “I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thoughtful way, with uncombed hair and a beautiful voice. I thought he gathered within himself the feminine and the masculine.”

Fashion, for Styles, is a playground. Something he doesn’t take too seriously. A couple of years ago Harry Lambert, his stylist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metallic Saint Laurent boots that he has never been photographed wearing. They are exceedingly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them “to get milk”. They are, in his words, “super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ballpark, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full closets in at least three postcodes. He settles on an outfit fairly quickly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before heading out, but mostly knows what he likes.

What he may not fully comprehend is that simply by being photographed in a garment he can spur the career of a designer, as he has with Harris Reed, Palomo Spain, Charles Jeffrey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Gucci floral suit to the 2015 American Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red carpet, Gucci began trending worldwide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s runway designs and, at the time, men were not taking too many red carpet risks,” says Lambert. “Who knows if it influenced others, but it was a special moment. Plus, it was fun seeing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet traditional gender codes of dress still have the minds of middle America in a chokehold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him “tragic”, “a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. “What’s feminine and what’s masculine, what men are wearing and what women are wearing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: “It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Harry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the question of Styles’ sexuality, something he has admittedly “never really started to label”, which will plague him until he does. Perhaps it’s part of his allure. He’s brandished a pride flag that read “Make America Gay Again” on stage, and planted a stake somewhere left of centre on sexuality’s rainbow spectrum.

“In the position that he’s in, he can’t really say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks volumes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face earlier this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turning on how he can discuss sexuality without really answering. “I’m not always super-outspoken. But I think it’s very clear from choices that I make that I feel a certain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He pauses again, pivots. “I want everyone to feel welcome at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m never unsupported, so it feels weird for me to overthink it for someone else.”

Sexuality aside, he must acknowledge that he has sex appeal. “The word ‘sexy’ sounds so strange coming out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s probably why I would not consider myself sexy.”

Harry Styles has emerged fully-formed, an anachronistic rock star, vague in sensibility but destined to impress with a disarming smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders about her time atop rock’s throne: “I never got into this for the money or because I wanted to join in the superstar sex around the swimming pools. I did it because the offer of a record contract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a waitress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bakery in a small northern town some time before playing to 40,000 screaming fans in South American arenas – must have witnessed some shit, been invited to a few poolside sex parties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a couple of things,” he nods in agreement. “But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

#harry styles #the face #050919

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stylesnews · 5 years

Text

The Face - Volume 4 . Issue 1

“He decided on a small mint chocolate gelato and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ‘Can I just say I absolutely loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCKING EXTENDED HIS HAND AND REACHEDTO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTUALLY FUCKING SHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THEFUCK,” she wrote on Instagram after The Shakening. “Like I didn’t even say anything to gas him up besides ‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHATA BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW[sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

They perform together – he sings The Chain and Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one allegedly written about Taylor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those performances was at the Gucci Cruise afterparty in Rome in May, for “a lot of money”, Nicks tells me, in a “big kind of castle place”. She has become his de facto mentor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequencing (“She is really good at track listing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voices… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, pressing “play” on a deeply personal work for your hero to digest, watching her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

After 89 arena-packed shows across five continents grossed him, the label, whomever, over $61million, Styles had all but disappeared. He has emerged only intermittently for public-facing events – a Gucci afterparty performance here, a Met Gala co-chairing there. He relocated from Los Angeles back to London, selling his Hollywood Hills house for $6 million and shipping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. “My relationship with LA changed a lot. What I wanted from LA changed.”

Because he loves dressing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Gucci Tailoring campaigns and of its new genderless fragrance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

Elton John agrees: “It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Harry has the same qualities.”

Harry Styles has emerged fully-formed, an anachronistic rock star, vague in sensibility but destined to impress with a disarming smile and a warm but firm handshake.

Styles – who worked in a bakery in a small northern town some time before playing to 40,000screaming fans in South American arenas – must have witnessed some shit, been invited to a few poolside sex parties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a couple of things,” he nods in agreement. “But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

#theface19 #harry styles #sep19 #article

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colourfullsims · 5 years

Note

:o hullo yes i would like a headcanon too if u don't mind sharing. 👀👏

Lemme see if I have one that’s not spoilery lol.

Mmk so, we all know Guam is supposed to be the local village idiot. However, he has been inexplicably smart during this challenge, and is growing increasingly smarter as the weeks go on (like it’s literally getting difficult for me to write him as a dumbass). So in my mind, Gian is actually like hella smart. Not like a genius or anything, but he’s definitely not as stupid as everyone thinks he is lol. I think at some point during childhood, he realized that people liked him more when he was goofy and acted like a space case, and he kinda rolled with it because it made him feel “different” or whatever.

This is also how I think he ended up trying to pursue comedy, because he’s still trying to fit into that persona even in adulthood. But the facts are, GIAN IS JUST LITERALLY NOT FUNNY. Not in the way professional comedians are. It’s actually so much work to make the types of intricate jokes that comedians make on the regular, and that wasn’t what Gian was doing as a child; he was literally just like making fart jokes and pretending to be bad at math lol.

So, my theory is that Gian came into the house planning on pretending to be an idiot to lull the other houseguests into a false sense of security. And the longer he’s inside, the harder it’s becoming for him to actually keep the facade LMAO

#if gian makes it to week 7 #he'll just be reciting shakespeare at that point lol #asks #madebycoffee #colourfullsims #bb headcanons #bb headcanon

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itsmejasminemalik · 5 years

Text

I saw you for the first time in years, and I still love you.

u/Excellent_Fish

You missed the wedding ceremony. I remember scanning the crowd before I sat down and feeling a mixture of relief and disappointment. I wondered what you looked like now. Was she prettier? I felt overdressed.

Our mutual college friends said their vows and I thought about how they were the only couple from our circle to make it this far.

Then, the reception.

I was waiting for a drink when you walked in and bumped your head on the tent entrance. Typical. We made eye contact. It’s been 7 years but you look exactly the same.

You chatted with some people around us and then it became just us. Same witty banter. Warmth. It flowed so easily. God, i missed you. I pulled myself away and we mingled separately. Then I found myself back in a circle with you, right as you told someone about that house you had just bought. Except you used “We.” Fuck. Then, “I’d better go find Jessie, she’s probably wondering if I’m dead!”

At some point I had introduced myself to your girlfriend and not even known it was her. That explains her tight handshake.

You two dancing made me ache. The way you put your hand on her waist. I remembered how that felt, it felt safe and warm. She danced like she was free, knowing that you have her back, always. I haven’t found that feeling since us.

You were always oriented in her direction, even when she was across the room. At some point you had loved me with your whole being, too.

But you had wanted to do your own thing and it took me a year to move on. I kept emailing you these thinly veiled “just saying hi!” Letters and you would politely respond. I remember our final breezy phone call, when the last thing I wanted to blurt out was “I miss you so much.” Instead I just wished you well. Click.

I watched the future I had yearned for play out between you and her. I wondered what would have happened if I had just said that I missed you on that phone call. What if you had called hoping for that? Or what if I had moved back sooner, or what if I could bend time and space and be a different person somehow that didn’t lose you. What would I be like today, if I hadn’t lost you?

But look at you with her. You are so frantic, blazing on all cylinders at all times, yet I could see in how you two danced that she was your cool earth. She calms you in a way maybe I never could. We were both anxious messes. Maybe we needed someone less like us.

You gave me a hug as you guys left, “It was so great to see you. I’m glad you’re doing well.” You looked at me like you really saw me. Then just like that you were gone, back out of my life.

You’re happy. So happy with her. And for that I’m grateful. I will always love you, and in the way you hugged me goodbye, I think a tiny fraction of you will always love me, too. You hadn’t forgotten us. And it gives me hope.

I’m letting you go so that maybe I can find my Earth, too.

Em thấy anh hôm nọ sau nhiều năm xa cách, và em vẫn còn yêu anh.

Anh đã lỡ buổi lễ trao nhẫn. Em nhớ mình đã đứng nhìn khắp đám đông vồn vã trước khi ngồi xuống, thở một hơi dài nhẹ nhõm mà lòng vẫn trĩu nặng tới lạ. Bây giờ, không biết trông anh như thế nào? Liệu cô ấy có đẹp hơn trước không? Hình như hôm nay em có chút diêm dúa.

Đôi uyên ương học chung lớp đại học trao nhau đứng trên bục cao kia, trao nhau lời thề vĩnh cửu, và đầu em cứ không khỏi ngừng nghĩ về việc họ là đôi duy nhất trong đám bạn của chúng ta đi tới được bước này.

Rồi, tới buổi tiệc ăn.

Lúc đó, em đang ngồi đợi một ly rượu khi anh đang bước vội và cụng phải cổng ra vào. Đúng là anh mà. Ánh mắt hai ta bắt gặp nhau. Đã 7 năm rồi, vậy mà trông anh vẫn nguyên vẹn như thế.

Anh nói vài ba câu với nhóm người đứng quanh ta, và sau một lúc chỉ còn có anh và em đứng nhìn nhau. Anh trêu đùa vài câu dí dỏm. Ấm áp quá, quen thuộc quá. Anh dẫn dắt câu chuyện chẳng hề khó khăn. Lạy Chúa, em nhớ anh quá. Em lùi ra một góc nhỏ và chúng ta trò chuyện riêng. Nhưng chỉ vài khoảnh khắc sau, lại có một nhóm bạn tụ tập quanh ta, ngay khi anh vừa nói với ai đó về căn nhà anh vừa tậu được. Nhưng anh lại nói "Chúng tớ." Khỉ thật. Rồi, "Tớ phải đi tìm Jessie đây, khéo cô ấy lại nghĩ tớ chết bố ở chỗ nào rồi ấy!"

Hình như em đã có trò chuyện qua với bạn gái anh mà còn chẳng hề hay biết nữa. Có lẽ đó là vì sao đôi tay cô ấy lại siết chặt khi em đưa tay ra bắt.

Điệu khiêu vũ của hai người khiến tim em thắt lại. Cách anh vòng tay qua eo cô. Em vẫn nhớ cảm giác xưa cũ ấy, đôi vòng tay ấm áp và vững chắc ấy. Cô nhún chân đưa eo đầy tự tại, vì biết rằng đã có anh bảo vệ cô, mãi mãi. Đã lâu lắm rồi em chưa tìm lại được cảm giác ấy.

Đôi mắt anh luôn hướng về cô, kể cả khi cô đang ở bên kia phòng. Anh cũng đã từng yêu em đậm sâu như vậy.

Nhưng anh muốn tập trung vào bản thân, và tới tận 1 năm sau em mới có thể học cách quên anh. Em cứ liên tục gửi đi những lá thư nhạt nhẽo "Chào anh! Dạo này anh thế nào rồi?" và anh luôn lịch sự hồi âm lại. Em vẫn nhớ cuộc gọi cuối của đôi ta, khi điều cuối cùng em muốn thốt lên là "Em nhớ anh nhiều lắm." Thay vào đó, em chỉ chúc anh sống tốt. Tắt máy.

Em đưa mắt nhìn một tương lai mình vẫn hằng mong ước với anh, nhưng nữ chính lại là cô gái ấy. Em tự hỏi chuyện gì sẽ xảy ra nếu em nói nhớ anh trong cú điện thoại ấy. Nhỡ anh cũng mong mỏi điều ấy? Hay, nếu em có thể lội dòng thời gian, nếu em có thể bẻ cong khoảng không thời hạn và trở thành một người khác, một người có thể giữ anh ở lại. Thì ngày hôm nay em sẽ như thế nào, nếu em có anh bên cạnh?

Nhưng khi nhìn anh nhìn cô ấy. Anh luôn cuồng loạn, với một tâm trí năng nổ đầy nhiệt huyết, vậy mà khi hai người chung nhịp với nhau, em nhận ra cô ấy chính là Trái Đất hiền hòa của anh. Cô ấy xoa dịu anh bằng một cách mà có lẽ em sẽ chẳng bao giờ làm được. Chúng ta đều là hai đống lộn xộn không yên. Có lẽ đôi ta cần ai đó khác biệt hẳn.

Anh trao em một cái ôm trước khi hai người rời đi, "Gặp lại em vui lắm. Anh mừng vì em vẫn ổn." Anh nhìn em, đôi mắt thấu hiểu tới tận tâm can. Rồi cứ như thế anh bước đi, lại biến mất khỏi cuộc đời em.

Anh đang hạnh phúc vô bờ. Một hạnh phúc anh sẻ chia với cô ấy. Và em mừng lắm. Em sẽ luôn yêu anh, và trong cái ôm tạm biệt ấy, em nghĩ một phần nho nhỏ của anh cũng sẽ luôn yêu em. Anh vẫn chưa quên mất về chúng mình. Và đó là một mẩu hy vọng em sẽ luôn bám víu.

Nhưng em sẽ buông anh đi, để có lẽ em cũng tìm được một Trái Đất hiền cho riêng mình.

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