Blaine saying he’s “Ok down here” at the end of 170 means SO much because he’s always wanted to be at the top, that was his whole obsession. He always wanted to be at the very top and was scared of falling to the bottom the most, but now, him saying he’s “ok down here” … oh it has so much meaning

I'm rewatching Steven Universe and I will never forgive Fandom for what it did to her

Did you know that dad thought he was gay for a bit when he was 15? 

Coming back from the dead to remind y’all of this delightful, criminally underrated time in TTT where Lester-Apollo tells Zeus (in his head) to take his lightning bolt and shove it up his ass cloaca maxima

If I could get tooth rottingly sincere here for a second.

The thing is I want TBB to have a happy ending more than I want air. And I know that all the predictions are more trauma, more death, more sadness, maybe everyone gets rogue oned and Omega grows up alone, and I'm not even saying that it's unlikely but god I do not want it. At all.

TBB has been about adapting to change, their changing lives and circumstances, their changing dynamics as a family, the change of having Omega in their lives, losing Cross, everything. But if it actually fully has a tragic ending, it will feel like all that change was for nothing. They were born in tragedy, lived a tragedy, died a tragedy. What's the point?

I am holding out a hope that this is just one long earn your happy ending that ends with them safe together as a family, whether they retire on Pabu or they are going to be doing missions for the clone rebellion, helping to rescue and ferry clones to Pabu as refugees, maybe. I think that the most meaningful thing that any clones can be allowed to do in this story is live. We've watched them be sacrificed by the hundreds for years, I just kind of want them to be allowed to fucking live. All of them, the batch and Omega. If they do a sequel series that follows the clone rebellion in a more general way, if someone dies for good there I can deal with it, but I want at least one story, one series, to show a little bit of change in the clones lives from start to finish.

i wish we got to see more of sarah's blackness in the show, even within her mixed identity, even if it was lukewarm and barely there. i feel like we missed out on seeing her style her hair, on learning about her natural texture and keeping it up, about going to the beach or to the pool, or even showing us a bit of her homelife.

i wanted to see her play with dolls as a kid and watch vh1, burn cds and learn how to cook. maybe it would've been whitewashed and bland and serve no narrative purpose to the story, whatever, but i feel like if they can have a mummy episode they can make sarah black.

I’ve been rereading Check, Please and all the extras and tweets and just remembering how fucking FUN it all was when it was happening in real time!!! Ngozi seriously created a full-on EXPERIENCE for us and it was just an absolute blast. Like there was the normal screeching and wailing when we got comic updates, like you’d get when you’re watching an ongoing show and getting weekly episodes. But then we also got extras and ask-a-Wellie and the TWEETS!!! We all had alerts set for Bitty’s twitter and we’d just get no warning before getting tidbits about the team or about his state of mind or vague-tweets about his crush and we would all FLOCK to tumblr to analyze and speculate and squee. It was a fandom experience I really haven’t had before or since and I just!!! It was so fun!!!! And she gave it to us for free!!!!

sorry this book changed my life. my brain chemistry etc

If you need a sign that it gets better here it is.

I sincerely mean this. You have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m mentally ill and traumatized and I’ve been like this for most of my life. So much of my life has been bad day after bad day. When people would tell me shit got better I’d get mad. I would get mad over the word happy because I thought the capacity to be happy had been removed from my brain. I didn’t think it was possible. I genuinely thought I would never get better and I believed it to my core. If you put a gun to my head and said to believe it I would’ve gotten shot that’s how intent I was on this. But if it could happen to me it can absolutely happen to you and it’s never too late for things to get better.

This doesn’t mean things will never be sucky. Of course they will. That’s life. But fuck. I used to have mental breakdowns constantly. I would be in abusive relationships that tore me apart. I lived in so much fear. I was so sick with anxiety. I would tolerate mistreatment from partners and friends and even people I hardly knew. I’d people please to no end. I’d overextend and be everyone’s therapist meanwhile I was drowning with no one to help me. I couldn’t set a single boundary without immediately feeling immense guilt and retracting whatever it was. I let everyone’s opinions on me inform me on who I was. I couldn’t cut anyone off or leave. I’d tolerate so so so much discomfort for the prospect of “love” that was actually abuse. I let things destroy me. I put myself last just like my abusers did. I didn’t stand up for myself. I’d ruminate on my past constantly. I couldn’t let anything go. I read old messages from shitty people like it was my morning news. I was so incredibly hopeless and alone. In all honesty I thought my last abusive relationship would be the end of me. I didn’t think I would survive it or the aftermath when that hit.

But it snapped something in me. That and being played by someone I trusted who betrayed me and took advantage of me. After that I vowed to never again tolerate the shit I had in the past. I gradually started to learn and apply shit I hadn’t ever before. I started to stand up for myself. I started to learn how to stop overextending as much. I started to protect my peace. I started to spend time on myself rather than shitty temporary fucking awful waste of time people. I started to trust my own intuition over what my abusers tried to convince me of. I learned how to cut people off, something that for most of my life I couldn’t fathom. I started to let people have their own opinions on me and not let it ruin my day. So what if someone thinks I’m rude? So what if someone doesn’t like me? I may be more alone than I have been in years but it feels much less lonely than having a bunch of shitty people in my life who are toxic and not genuine.

I’m okay being alone if it means I have my peace, something I used to be terrified of. I’d tolerate mistreatment if it meant I wouldn’t be alone. I smile and laugh easier than I used to. I have fun. I experience joy. I see beauty in the little things like the night sky and the moon or the waves of the ocean or the feeling of fresh air on my skin. I put myself out there more and people actually like me for who I am. I don’t mask nearly as much as I used to. I embrace my interests and parts of me I used to adamantly suppress. I don’t need anyone to make me whole. I’m whole on my own. I don’t think pretending to be something I’m not so people like me is worth it anymore. I don’t let little things destroy and completely color my day anymore. I don’t constantly read old messages anymore. I actually deleted a bunch of old shit from my camera roll for the first time ever days ago.

Like I said I’m not perfect. I still have bad days. My esteem has a ways to go. I still feel dissatisfied with my life at points. My mental illnesses and trauma still act up. I struggle. But my god. My growth is genuinely incredible when I sit back and look at the big picture which I guess I haven’t really done before now. I’m excited to see what progress I make even further as I continue to grow. I’m so different than I used to be and I suppose that’s part of why I’ve lost so many people. They can’t handle me actually setting boundaries and standing up for myself. They banked on my tolerance that’s no more. You will lose (toxic) people when you start becoming healthy which is something no one told me. But it’s so worth it. It’s so worth it.

I’ve made it through so much horrific shit. So many close calls where I nearly took my life or contemplated it. Yet I got through it all and not only that but I changed for the better. I lived to see it get better. If you’re struggling to find a reason to stick around, live for the possibility that things can get better. If they can get better for me, they absolutely can for you. Live for the possibility of joy, ease, beauty, and a life you like.

I made a post on here that blew up awhile ago that said that I wished I killed myself at 15. I disagree with that sentiment. I would’ve missed out on so much growth. I would’ve died without seeing it get better. I wouldn’t have accomplished so much. I wouldn’t have made so much progress. I’m glad I didn’t die at 15. I’m glad I saw things out and I’m on the other side of that despair with a smile.

Wow. He's really asserting that poor people are willing to do any kind of horrible thing to get money. Do you want to know who really can do anything to get more money? Who has no qualms about crushing people and skirting laws to get more of it? Corporations. The unfathomably wealthy. The ones who don't even need more money to live. That's who.

saw some heinous takes today and have something to say:

if you think princess bubblegum is a 'psychopathic dictator'- but every other morally grey adventure time character was redeemed by the end of the show and is now perfect- you are, in fact, bad at character arc analysis and/or just hate that a feminine character can be or was anything other than 'uwu best girl'

perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔

i used the AO3 Fandom Trend Dashboard to compare the top four thai drama fandoms by fic count, just for fun. look at KinnPorsche go!

I love kmimt not the romance but the fact that how caring everyone is and the fact that Dan just in a sense pushes his boundaries like his convo on the balcony/patio and his slow growth. Bonus obviously he finds love ☺️

jaignyyyy my sweet 🥹💛✨ you are such an angel!! i got your ask about dan’s family too, and i am so glad to see you enjoying this series!! i can’t thank you enough for sweet ainsley and i am so excited to continue to watch our daniel grow! 🥰

Reverse turing test: appear like an Hourglass, it's ticking like a clock. it's a type of corn. dan Evans makes 'documentaries' about Norfolk (UK). in his video "BEST of Norfolk (part 1)" he talks about things the wrong way? I am playing The clarinet.[7] However, he is left to do!

Lofty of BBC's Holby City was maybe one of the worst characters on the show. Is this a hot take? Do people outside of me and my family somehow adore Lofty? I can't imagine how. Here is my hateful mean and nasty reasoning. Read at your own risk I'm not accepting criticism at this time lmao:

A) he was effective comic relief on Casualty because it's the Emergency Department and moments of Lofty tripping over or doing a social faux pas are necessary tension breakers in episodes where people are constantly at deaths door.

Casualty is (when it's GOOD) required to have at least a third of the episode dedicated to a narsty horrible accident (hell yeah) and tensions are always running high so you can see how having someone a be awkward is not going to be the worst thing that happened to them that day.

Holby City is a more hospital staff focused show (although again. If there's less than a third of an episode focused on patients it is probably a bad episode. PLEASE HAVE PATIENTS IN YOUR HOSPITAL SHOW.) but there's a lot of waiting around for people in Holby because it's the longer term care zone. If Lofty is dropping stuff in the background of scenes with this lower energy it suggests he has some sort of untreated disability rather than 'argh I'm frantic OOPS'. He is painted more as incompetent on Holby compared to their more grounded staff. Which makes everyone ELSE look incompetent for putting up with it. (To be clear!!!! I'm not saying people with disabilities are incompetent lol if he had one it would have been a storyline!! And if he had one and none of the doctors who see him every day flagged it it also makes them look incompetent. He doesn't CARE enough to be CAREful. And in a show ABOUT caring for vulnerable people as far as you absolutely can. That's a big problem.)

Like the thing is. Characters on Casualty can be one note architypes forever because they're doing medical CSI. Holby spends so much more time with the cast, they NEED to become more complicated and Lofty never does, he's the same guy no matter what happens. The only other guy like that in Holby is the incomparable Guy Self and he's a villain! He is a villain for never changing or trying for anyone! And even he TRIES to reform occasionally. Lofty (and the SHOW) doesn't see a problem with him perpetually disengaging from making emotional choices, putting most of the work of maintaining relationships on other people, and generally coasting through a profession that everyone else is giving 110% to. The building could be on fire and he'd wander outside and not think to rescue any of the patients unless someone else told him to.

B) the B is for Bisexual. Bisexual representation on Holby City where he cheats on his husband with a woman. It's a yikes from me.

C) speaking of Dom. God their relationship was horrible. POOR FUCKING DOM. tw abuse. Lofty talks to and believes Dom's abusive ex over him? He hugs the guy that RECENTLY pushed Dom down a flight of stairs? And they're still supposed to be a cutesy couple by the end of this? He shuts down Dom's excitement constantly? Hello??

D) the D is again for Dom because. It's their one year anniversary. By the way it was on their honeymoon that Dom couldn't go on to support his sick mother that Lofty cheated on Dom. Just by the way. BY THE WAY if your husband says he's going to stay home for your honeymoon and insists you go by yourself so he can stay home to support his sick mother. Maybe. Hm. Stay and support him instead. Just a fucking thought.

Lofty decides it's not working and they amicably split up (Dom is an angel sent from gay heaven by the way. I perhaps have my biases.) Dom kindly gives him the quirky and personal gift he'd bought him for their one year wedding anniversary as Lofty unicycles away (it may have been a bicycle but I picture it as a unicycle). Lofty gives him. Nothing. Which means that this man sat there as they planned a big anniversary party and not ONCE. not ONCE did he consider buying Dom an anniversary present. Because he's an arse!!!!

E) he only does this :| or this :/ for any emotion. I love characters with flat affects, for example my close personal friends Hannah Supernatural, Abed Community, and also as well my actual real human friends who do this 💖💖💖. HOWEVER. Lofty doesn't show emotion any OTHER way either. There IS nothing going on in his heart. He has passion for nothing. He goes where other people point. He avoids giving his opinion because he doesn't have any. This makes him a bad tv character for a drama. Opinion IS story on Holby. There is an issue, they all take sides and fight over it, and he doesn't get involved.

Anyway. Show's been over for over a year I will never have to see Lofty's face ever again as long as I live unless I for some reason decide to do a bizarre Holby City Rewatch and keep going to season 19.

By the way as I was looking up when he came to the Holby side of Holby City Hospital, I found this quote from his wiki page:

"Lofty is portrayed as a nice person who is likeable and popular."

Hm. He IS PORTRAYED as a nice person. The show thinks he's a nice person who is likable. However.

This concludes my ministry of hate.