#today on Stupid shit im getting myself into | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natsmagi · 2 months

Text

what if you wanted to design a silly tattoo for yourself but then you ended up being way too picky with the details and now youre in too deep and its eating you alive because you cant do your usual messy style it needs to be PERFECT but you FUCKING SUCK AT THESE KIDS OF ILLUSTRATIONS and youre PROCRASTINATING LIKE CRAZY but u DONT WANNA WORK ON ANYTHING ELSE so now ur STUCK HERE

#today on Stupid shit im getting myself into #DOES IT NOT LOOK SO COOL THO. IDGAF #i dont wanna design tsumugis bit tho I DONT WANNA DRAW A BIRD #AND IM UNSURE HOW TO GO ABT HIS WINDOW AND IF ILL EVEN DRAW IT OR JUST GO AURORA LIGHTS #AUGHUFHUJHIJF #HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS #nat rambles

29 notes · View notes

toastsnaffler · 6 months

Text

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent #.diaries

8 notes · View notes

blazersparker · 9 months

Text

My bday today !!

#I SWEAR ILL POST SHIT WHEN I HAVE WIFI #AND LIKE ACTUALLY. DO THINGS #but i cant rn sad face emoji #youre gonna get spammed with. So much Oppo #its collecting in my galleru #evil snickering #ANYWAYS #happy birthday to meeeee #i may not have a cake but i have a packaged brownie #i rlly rllly wanted to be back home for this. but oh well #fuck the exam tho im not doing that shit #literally they told us yesterday at midnight that we had an exam today?#r u people fucking crazy? deranged?#and if im a minute late to submitting my hw you piss and shit on me?#fuck u all #oh also jellyfish. ouauahgg #jts bcuz im stupid and wanted to be on the beach like. by myself #^ if theres no one at this specific beach during Beach Season theres probably a reason. yeah #not even the first time #same beach too #im just dumb fr #my stubble in that doodle is Greatly exaggerated #but a boygirl can dream #i had to shave it anyways bcuz. family gatherings and whatnot #sad face emoji #ok enough ranting in tags

11 notes · View notes

krispiecake · 11 months

Text

i hope that everyone is aware that i am trying SO HARD to be normal but the universe is TESTING ME.

#i am trying ao hard not to fall back into old habits rn but jesus CHRIST brooooooooo #i havent been able to get barely any time with the staff i need for the past two days and now #theyre like 40mins late with my meds bc of another tenant #and its not even like theyre WITH the other tenant rn btw there are two members of staff sat in the office just talking #and its like bro. BROOOOOOOO #like they know this shit is SO triggering and i know they cant help some stuff but i still feel like i should be able to get my meds on time #if they arent actively with another tenant #its such a small thing but it helps my brain remember that actually they do still care abt me lol #all ive wanted to do since like wednesday was just watch a movie with my fp now that we’re cool again #and i was waiting in the lounge for like an hour and no one even came in #and its not like we planned anything so im not mad or whatever im just frustrated that #i had a rlly shit night last night and a pretty shit day today #and there just isnt anyone around to talk to bc theyre all dealing with someone else #or not even just sat around talking or whatever #idk this shit makes me wanna punch things burn everything to the ground and then kill myself if im being totally honest rn #and like last night and this isnt my therapists fault or anything but ahe wasnt able to pick up #and i managed to get thru it but it just added to the feeling like no one gave a shit #and its past nine again so she probs wouldnt be able to pick up now even tho i kinda need help again #idk this shit just. its so fucking triggering and i feel insane and so tightly wound #and ive been putting so much effort into my stupid therapy and i just wanna let go and have a full on meltdown again #i wanna take a bunch of pills and scream and cry and throw things and argue and just LET GO #cuz i feel like thats my ‘true nature’ and everything else is just me faking #or masking #AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT ITS SO MUCH EFFORT AND I FEEL LIKE IM GETTING NOTHING BACK

13 notes · View notes

urostakako · 28 days

Text

i have to be one of the dumbest people alive

#this happens every single time like this entire week i was going insane out of my mind and i thought to myself haha this happens all the #time when im pmsing but im sure im just being irrational rn like this whole week. ive been whining and crying and cramping and hurting #in weird places and getting bloated and all these things and i was like well ig im just being hysterical maybe i need to go outside #and honestly going outside did help a little but today like. for so long i was like DAMN this really genuinely feels like im pmsing #like i could actually be on my period. it feels like it. LMAO. but i know thats not true 🥰. i went the whole day like that doing wudhu #and praying and reading quran like that thinking everything was fine because i was being irrational and guess what i found tonight 😐#i really dont understand how after this long of doing stupid shit like this i havent learned my lesson yet but here we are ig #hanancouldyounot

3 notes · View notes

bicon-crange · 7 months

Text

this sucks so much ass i should be able to sue and i fucking mean that

#LIKE WE ARE GOING ON WEEK THREE OF THIS TORMENT AND I HAVENT GOTTEN ANY LESS SANE #IM SERIOUS WHEN DOES THIS SHIT GO AWAY #im fucking. im erratic!!! im lightheaded my CHEST HURTS i cant BREATHE im borderline getting vertigo here this SHOULD COUNT AS A SICKNESS I #SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL IN SICK TO SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THIS MASSIVE BULLSHIT #SORRY? ANY LESS SANE I MEANT ANY MORE SANE FFS #i talked to someone in my real actual life about this today and they were like yeah it sounds like ur going insane lol. THANKS I KNWOW #THIS IS SO CRAZY EMBARRASSING!! HEY!!! THIS IS SO CRAZY EMBARRASSING and on top of that theres no WAY this is going to work #like lets get worst case scenario here folks lets say i do talk to them and theyre like woah! hey! i like you too! :]#theres no way im not fucking stupid and dont immidiately shoot myself in the foot with it theres no FUCKING way #ugh i already know myself. i KNOW ill be like well thats a bad idea actually!!!! bc youre great and fucking. brilliant and personable and #totally gorgeous and EVERYONE likes you and theres no way in hell my dumb ass isnt just going to drag you down!!!!#theres no WAY you dont deserve better than this!! theres no POSSIBLE world where you don't have better options!!!#ugh doesnt THAT just reek of insecurity or just being a lil shyyy but i MEAN IT. I TOTALLY MEAN IT. ugh. i hate it here i hate it here i ha

4 notes · View notes

fleshdyke · 1 year

Text

ahsgsjaugejwjg

#sh/sui warning for tags #been having a shit day and just not feeling great overall and usually drinking water and eating helps but it hasnt today :/#which means its an Actual Problem this time. like i knew it was an actual problem when i fucking cut AGAIN but idk #idk man. im just so so so scared of my friends hating me #and i know i have to see my partner again bc she is the one and only person that never ever makes me feel safe and unjudged and everything #but idk. as of right now im just not havin a great time.#like its actually so stupid the things i get upset about. there was some motivational speaker at my school today and when we got called down #to go watch the presentation i had to take like five seconds to grab my bag and phone from my desk #and my two friends got up and left together without waiting for me #and i know it wasn’t their intention and they weren’t trying to be mean or anything but man. doesnt make it hurt less yk.#and i saw some post from a guy in my school of him and his friends in the cafeteria and idk why but it made me so sad. it made me think abt #one time my friends said they wanted to walk around at lunch so i was like ok i’ll eat alone that’s fine bc i’m too disabled to walk around #the school. and then someone sent me a pic of them all eating together in the cafeteria. and i know they probably just stopped there for a #second and weren’t purposely ignoring me or anything but man that did not help yk #i want to leave them alone bc they never seem to want to talk to me but im trying to tell myself its just my mind but its so hard to #and i do love my friends and im making them seem a lot worse here than they are but its just. god im so scared.#idk. i dont actually want to die but i wish i could kms like. temporarily.#i know this is bad and manipulative but i just cant shake the want to know what would happen if i did yk. and this is a terrible train of #thought but like i want my friends to realize how scared this makes me and if i have to kms to do that. idk.#ive brought it up to them before and they pretty much told me to eat with someone else and i said i didnt have any other friends and they #kind of just said not my problem. so i dont want to bring it up again bc im mature enough to deal with my own issues and shit #it’s just hard man. i dont know how im supposed to communicate w them bc everything feels like im traumadumping on them and i dont want to #bother them. im trying to convince myself its not an issue and it doesnt actually bother me but i know it does bc i just fucking relapsed #and i had a city council thing in class today and i was the only person that was denied any funding at all and i was trying not to take it #personally and i was doing pretty good but i told my mom about it and she started defending the ppl that refused me anything and then it was #suddenly personal to me for some reason. its stupid and i know that but god that doesnt make it any better #rambles #vent

7 notes · View notes

cherry-shipping · 5 months

Text

aaaooughhh. cook for me fictional other. fictional other. cook for me

#cherry chats #or just. get me food. pleeeeeeeease im asking so niceys #i didnt. get any food today Cause they freaking forgot me #which. shoulnt be a problem because im almost 19 i should be able to make food for myself #but. as it turns out. i canttttt #and anyway i like to imagine papyrus cooking for me because he loves cooking and i think making food is how he shows he cares 4 ppl…..#or one way at least #blegh. anyway im not gonna go full vent mode on here because who give a shit but. it also makes me feel so STUPID 4 not being able to do #like. basic stuff like feeding myself #so. i think papyrus would like making me stuff to eat and also encouraging me about it #also. hed be good at forcing me to eat in a way that doesnt make me feel bad #ive talked about this before but i feel guilty when i tell people i havent eaten in awhile so i lie and stuff…..#like ‘oh i ate not too long ago so im fine’ and then #‘not long ago’ means like. 3 days.#and it makes me feel guilty and makes other people worry and then THEY feel guilty cause they cant really do anything #but papyrus is cool and awesome and smart so he doesnt make me admit it out loud and he makes me eat stuff even when i dont wanna #but. in a way that doesnt make me feel bad either. hes a master of psychological manipulation But like good #like. i tried a new recipe and you HAVE to taste it and tell me what u think or ill look sooo sad and dejected ^__^#blarfgh. anyway -_-#i wish my cool awesome bffsie papyrus was here to make me awesome food

3 notes · View notes

a-little-bit-poss · 1 year

Text

.

#i feel a weird mix of shame about today #letting a stranger get to me like i know how stupid i am for that #then i wind up with the shame of feeling stupid on top of feeling ugly and the shame of feeling stupid for feeling ugly #im not having a good time #i cried #i thought about how i hate my eyes and my smile #even though ive liked how tired my eyes have looked in the past #this is the kind of shit i try to protect myself from

7 notes · View notes

itsnotalemon · 1 year

Text

Try not to drop out of college challenge

#i have cried so much today because i just keep getting burnt out to the point where i can no longer take care of myself because of college #i was ready to give next semester a shot but now i literally have to take even more classes #i feel stupid here #literally the only reason im going to keep trying is because then ill live in the same city as my partner #they have helped me through so much just by getting me out of my dorm and putting me to work outside #shes the reason ive probably made it so far into this semester #maybe im just a dumb fucking young adult but there is no way working a job and paying bills could be worse than this #like #cuz im going into major fucking debt for this STUPID fucking private school #and most of the shit im learning about i literally do not fucking care about #im not creating art #and while granted. the shit im learning is beneficial for my art #I FUCKING HATE THE ART IM MAKING HERE #im fucking broke all the time #i dont have enough free time or mental stability because of my school to handle having a job whole learning #but when im not at school and i can work literally everything is fucking fine #i love my job #i love where i live #i fucking hate the people where im from but who cares i literally dont talk to anyone #AND THATS THE OTHER THING #I FUCKING HATE THE MAJORITY OF MY PEERS HERE #I LITERALLY ONLY GET ALONG WITH THE UPPER CLASSMEN AND I HAVE HARDLY ANY CLASSES WITH UPPER CLASSMEN CUZ GUESS FUCKING WHAT!!!!#IM IN SOME BAUHAUS FUCKING ASS SCHOOL AND ALL THIS SHIT IS IS FOUNDATION EDUCATION ABOUT ART AND FUCK ALL ABOJT WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA LEARN #fuck this school bro #im so tired #i really need to go to my class tomorrow but i dont know if i can mentally handle it #i just wanna go home #i miss living a hop skip and a jump from the woods #i miss my car too #vent

7 notes · View notes

backhurtyy · 5 months

Text

missed my endocrinology appointment that i scheduled six months ago. happy fucking diabetes awareness month.

#IM SO FURIOUS WITH MYSELF. STUPID PIECE OF SHIT BRAIN.#i literally. i did so much today around the house but it doesn’t matter because i missed the most important thing #i’m so MAD!!!#and it’s not like i didn’t know!!! i fucking knew about it!!! i just forgot!!!#i had the appointment reminder on my whiteboard!!!#i’m so!!! AHJDJXJAJKSKXKSKWKDLWL #i want to scream and cry and hit something #they didn’t even call to ask where i was though. it wouldn’t have mattered because i have to drive two hours to get there #but usually if you’re late they fucking call. and. nothing this time. i’m so MAD.#and now i’ve been on hold for twenty minutes trying to reschedule but they’re going to close

2 notes · View notes

jorvikzelda · 6 months

Text

I finished the stripe B)

#well. like.#I actually did like half an hour ago and now I’ve spent the past half hour winding the next yarn colour into a ball #you see the blanket has a previous incarnation which was shit and bad #and I decided not to put myself through the hell of unwinding it All At Once so now instead im doing it colour by colour #so before i move on from one stripe to the next I have to first wind the next stripe into a ball #and the old blanket is so badly made that it takes a really long time because the yarn is like. all tangled up in itself #ALSO I FUCKED UP MY FINGER SO BAD MAN #I won’t go into detail because thinking about it has my anxiety acting up and I know I’m not the only person with Issues on here #*into detail about The Causing Of The Injury. i am in fact going into detail about the following idiocy and annoyingness that it entails #but cw/tw for like. I’m talking about a minor injury in the form of a small cut/scratch #but basically i fucked around and found out a bit too hard earlier today and now i have like a. shallow cut. scratch. whatever running along #my left middle finger. (also because this is tumblr I will add please note it was not on purpose I was genuinely just being stupid as hell.)#it is relevant that it is specifically my left middle finger. why you may ask? well. i am right handed. so i hold my crochet hook in my #right hand. and as a consequence my yarn in my left. and my yarn runs between. you guessed it. my middle and index fingers. meaning it runs #right above my middle finger knuckle. which. you guessed it. is where my little scratch cut is. and I was AGAIN an idiot so I was not #wearing a bandage. (thought it was fine because it had already kinda scabbed over.) and then i get off my what. 2? 3? hours of crochet and #go to brush my teeth and im like oh wow why is that all irritated. and then im like. OHHHH FUCK I HAD SCRATCHY WOOL YARN RUNNING OVER IT.#so yeah I am adding unscented soap And saline to my shopping list for tomorrow !#and praying to every god on earth and beyond it doesnt get infected #(it probably wont like. ive had cat scratches that were realistically probably worse than this. plus I’m taking vitamin gummies that are #specifically immune system boosting since like a week back because I got tired of getting a bunch of colds so hopefully they will also help #my nice little white blood cells fight off any bacteria here :) )

4 notes · View notes

mwagneto · 1 year

Text

im finally done with all my exams this was literally the most exhausting month/2 months of my fucking life. and i get one day off bc im doing something on literally every other day but that's gonna be fun im not complaining