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getvalentined · 2 months

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FF7 Fandom PSA

This is not a callout post, this is a warning about a genuinely dangerous abuser who uses fandom spaces to acquire victims.

Apparently my abusive ex is ingratiating himself into fandom spaces again, so if you're in the FF7 fandom please keep an eye out for someone calling himself Pix or Pixeled.

The details of what he did to me specifically are available in a post from almost exactly two years ago, readable here. Other people have shared their own stories, but I don't have the energy to dig up all of them. Trigger warnings for gaslighting, emotional abuse, violent threats, forced isolation, manipulation, and more that I'm definitely missing.

Known usernames:

Instagram: midgardsomrnights, pixeledartsy, okgoosefus, pixeledpalace

AO3: pixeled, pixeledxxx

tiktok: pixrexpen, gaywrathlet

FFXIV: sarielperedhil (on Brynhildr)

ko-fi: pixrexpalace

Other: pix pendragon, pixeled pendragon, pixrexpendragon

Some of these are current, most of them are not; he's no longer active here or on Twitter that I'm aware of, so I'm not referring to his usernames there, but he uses some combination of parts from these for his usernames everywhere so they followed the same theme.

This is not "fandom drama," this is a sincere warning to anyone in his orbit to be careful and be safe. Please love yourself more than he wants you to.

With that in mind, there are more personal details under the cut, discussing the fallout of going public with his abuse and more of his behavior; no screenshots on these because it's years in the past, not all of the related accounts and spaces still exist, and back when I was first gathering evidence I had to stop before it lapsed into the territory of emotional self-harm.

Same trigger warnings as above, plus racism, (implied) sexual exploitation, sexual manipulation, and discussion of Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

I want to be very clear that I was not the first person to go through this, I was just the first to go public afterward. I have lost relationships with people I thought were friends by doing so, and actually been referred to as abusive in response to my initial thread on Twitter letting people know what he'd done. I've had people who used his treatment of me as an excuse to join in with hurting me go on to co-opt my abuse to make themselves look like victims, claiming that we were best friends until he drove us apart—or worse, to use him as a complete stand-in for their own behavior, implying or outright stating that he forced them to isolate me from friends and fandom activities and treat me like shit, all while these people have me blocked on every possible platform where I could reconnect with them.

Pix was the Bad Guy of early 2022 on FF7 Twitter, and while he deserved the title, not everything everyone said about him was true. Not everything everyone said about me was true, either, but people tend to take anything connected to fandom as "drama," even when it involves literal abuse.

One thing I never told anyone except my closest friends is that Pix drove me to the verge of suicide multiple times. He put up videos insulting me to be "funny" and got friends laughing along, when I asked him to stop teasing me all the time he exploded and said that he was allowed to express himself however he wanted and if I had a problem then I should break up with him so he could finally kill himself guilt-free, he told me that he wasn't going to placate me anymore by saying "I love you," he told me in public spaces to shut up because I didn't know anything. He used racist slurs against Asian people behind my back and told everyone who called him on it that I'd told him it was all right, leading to a continuing belief among some circles that I have some deep internalized racism toward my own fucking ethnicity.

He told me that his mother saw me as a whore and a homewrecker, because I'd seduced him away from his boyfriend of eight years—in spite of the fact that I told him outright I did not want a romantic relationship with him because he was already in one, and I wouldn't be party to cheating. When I went public with what he did, he claimed that I pressured him into a romantic relationship, neglecting to mention that he'd been pushing for one almost since we met and that I'd shot him down because he was already with someone else. He said that I'd forced him to break up with his boyfriend, and seemed to be implying that I'd somehow sexually exploited him because I'm a cisgender lesbian and he identified as an aro/ace trans man at the time we broke up. When we got together, he identified as a bisexual nonbinary person.

To be completely honest, though, his orientation and gender identity doesn't even fucking matter with regards to the implication that I exploited him because we never had any form of sexual contact—unless you want to count RP, which I don't, and if I did I would be calling him a cheater because I was not his only RP partner.

To be completely clear, we were in a long distance relationship, thousands of miles apart, and we had no sexual contact. We never sexted, we never had phone sex, we never even exchanged dirty pictures. Our relationship had no sexual element whatsoever. He eventually told me in no uncertain terms that if/when we got married, he wasn't going to sleep with me because he didn't have a sex drive anymore due to trauma, and that since I loved him so much I'd have to be happy with that.

He would remind me of this when my Body Dysmorphic Disorder began to relapse constantly from the amount of stress he had me under, because my experience with the condition is rooted on my lack of physical femininity and leads me to see myself as completely sexually repulsive. When I was triggered and trying to untie the knot in my chest that made me want to throw up at the thought of my own body, he would remind me that I didn't have to worry about being too ugly for sex with him, because he was never going to fuck me anyway. That it didn't matter if I was disgusting, because he found all bodies disgusting, so really I was lucky to have him. He didn't even care that I was disabled and that my arms and legs are too long, that my joints slip out of place all the time, that the way I have to move sometimes to keep from hurting makes me look "weird and stupid." I was so lucky to have him, because even though he was very aware of all those things, he didn't actually care. He wasn't going to fuck me anyway.

The last Christmas card he sent me literally had the words "You deserve a high-five!" printed on the front, and on the reverse he'd written something along the lines of "okay but you know I'd be sure to miss and slap you in the face, sorry not sorry."

He made my life hell in every possible way, and people said it was drama because we met through fandom—and that I deserved it, honestly, since I was so fucked up and he was such a good person for even caring about me in the first place. I deserved it, people said, since I turned around and stabbed him in the back after he'd done so much for me for the years we were together. It was just fandom drama, they said, and I was just thriving off the social capital it allegedly earned me.

And now he's back and making new friends, but it's fine because this all happened years ago, and everyone with a brain should be able to see that it's just fandom drama. But it's not. It never was. Don't let him convince you otherwise.

#PSA #personal #abuse tw #should I tag this with the fandom?#should I put it on the block?#it's dangerous #for me #but I think it's worth it #to keep others safe #final fantasy 7 #FF7 #final fantasy vii #FFVII #rufus shinra #tsengru #rutseng #the [redacted] files

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mooreaux · 1 month

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Thinking about finally launching a patreon.

Thoughts under the cut

I'm thinking first tier would be art I don't necessarily post on Tumblr, or early posting.

Along w a monthly themed illustration w high res download available and a time lapse video.

Then second tier I might do a monthly poll to see what character (fandom w a few diff options) y'all would wanna see a short comic or spicy pic for?

And for third probably a monthly comm slot. Discounted from my usual comms but only like five of these available

Open to suggestions!

#my thoughts #as i get closer to pregnancy and baby stuff i am tryin to think of ways to sustain my income while working less #not gonna be able to keep doing 20-30 comms a month w a bebe around lol

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sinswithpleasure · 1 year

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For All To See (ft. LOONA's Yves)

—---------

Happy New Year, everybody!

Enjoy this porn / brain rot filled mess!

Tags:

Squirting,

Pissing,

Exhibitionism,

Golden Showers,

Piss Drinking,

Public Sex,

General Degeneracy / Debauchery.

—---------

Everyone has kinks they don't want people to know about. Some people want it hidden out of shame. Some hide it out of fear. Maybe they have a reputation to maintain.

One such person is Ha Sooyoung, aged 25.

By day, she's known as Yves, a famous dance instructor with a semi-decent following on quite a few social media platforms for her impeccable dancing. Sooyoung's passion for dancing knows no bounds, and it shows in all the dance content she makes on YouTube and TikTok. On most nights, she's still just the regular Ha Sooyoung—she lounges about at home gaming, watching Netflix, or reviewing dance videos for YouTube. However, the things that happen on the few nights where she's not home doing the usual…

—-------

Sooyoung's watch reads 9pm, and she gets up from her couch. After a stretch to loosen up her muscles, she switches off her TV and tugs her hoodie over her head, the cloth sliding off her body. She holds the garment in one hand, her other one busy unclipping her bra. In her room, she pulls her shorts and panties off together, leaving her naked.

It doesn't take long for Sooyoung to have her clothes folded neatly in a pile on her bed. She stands in front of her wardrobe, a white sports bra and similarly white curve-cut FBT shorts in hand.

'What else do I want to wear…?'

Her eyes fall on the white tee she typically wears to bed, translucent from too many washes. She'd usually never wear it out, but on a night like tonight…

'It'd be modest enough, but people could see I'm naked underneath if they looked hard enough…'

With such tantalizing chances, Sooyoung puts it on and admires herself in the mirror.

'God, I'm so naughty…'

That's right, the famous dancer Yves Ha Sooyoung is a huge exhibitionist. One night a week, she goes for her night run, partially to keep herself fit, and partially to indulge in her sinful desires. Of course, she'd never want to be caught, but oh, the thrill…

That thought drives Sooyoung to blush, her legs squeezing together in arousal. Her nipples tent the cloth of her shirt, and Sooyoung bites her lip, imagining someone chancing upon her dressed like this on the way down to her car.

A few steps takes Sooyoung to the door. A mask covers her face—she can't risk her career and reputation while she indulges in her dirtiest fantasies, after all. She peers left and right down the hallway—both sides empty—and she steps out. The cool breeze down the hallway feels refreshing against her body, warmed with arousal, but with the cool air brushing against Sooyoung's hard clit, she can't help but softly moan at the pleasure it brings.

The ride down to the ground floor is quiet—save for the moans Sooyoung lets out as she masturbates under the watchful eye of the CCTV camera. She knows no one checks those unless something serious happens, and nothing usually does. The guards are too busy sleeping on the job all the time, and she needs the relief right now. Sooyoung's fingers slide deep within her pussy, the soft curl of her middle and ring fingers stimulating the most pleasurable of spots deep within her dripping cunt. Her other hand tweaks her nipple over the thin cloth, and she can't help but tremble in excitement and fear at the possibility of someone catching her if the lift stops. She'd love for them to watch her cum…

Alas, this short self-love session is interrupted by the lift doors opening on the ground floor. To Sooyoung's bittersweet relief, no one is around to catch her. She withdraws her slick fingers, a soft moan escaping her lips as she slides out from within herself, and she tugs the mask off her face to lick her own juices off her fingers. As expected, the guard is dead asleep, as always. Typically, Sooyoung would be annoyed at the lapse of physical security borne out of irresponsibility, but this time, it's a huge blessing for her.

The breeze is even cooler on the first floor, and Sooyoung's nipples are hard as diamonds against the thin cloth. Sometimes, the force of the winds even raise the hem of the T-shirt up, which exposes Sooyoung's body to anyone lucky enough to catch a glimpse. The girl in question loves it—more eyes on her means more people she can exhibit herself for.

Sooyoung reaches her car in no time. Her first action once she gets into her car is to divest herself of the shirt—she's feeling particularly kinky tonight, and what better than to drive to her favorite park in the nude for any driver to see? With a click, the stick shift lands on D, and Sooyoung begins to pull out of the lot. As her car turns to join up with the other traffic on the main road, she can't resist staring at the other cars driving past her. Every streetlight she passes illuminates the interior of her car for a short while, and she knows anyone can see her nude form in those moments. It is this exact knowledge that has her biting her lips, wishing she could squeeze her legs shut to alleviate some of the sexual frustration she has. No one would know it was the famous dancer Ha Sooyoung either, with her mask on…

Sooyoung decides to risk it—she rubs her dripping pussy with her fingers as she drives. At the stop lights, she can't help but rub herself harder—she knows some of the people crossing the road are able to see her, with the streetlights above shining right into her car. More and more slick drips from Sooyoung's sex with every brush of her fingers across her clit, the towel beneath her soaking every droplet of her arousal. Sooyoung knows from experience how wet she can get by exhibiting herself, and without this towel, she'd have so much slick to clean up.

Finally, the entrance to the park off the main road towards the park draws closer and closer. Sooyoung turns to the right and drives her car to the last parking space all the way at the back of the parking lot. While she usually wouldn't entertain such a dimly lit and potentially insecure parking space, right now, it fits every criterion for her to carry out her next few planned actions. There are only a few cars parked, all of them far apart from each other, and their owners don't appear to be present as per Sooyoung's cursory glance during her drive in. Without any attention given to proper parking, Sooyoung carelessly swerves her car into the final lot.

From there, Sooyoung's next few actions are simple. Under the cover of the foliage above and the lack of illumination, Sooyoung throws the door open and lunges out of her car, then slams the door shut. Never mind that the engine is still running—if Sooyoung doesn't fucking cum right now, she thinks she might die. Her back crashes against the metal frame of the car—ow!—but that doesn't matter. The warmth emanating from beneath the car flows around Sooyoung's spread legs as she widens her legs for support. Her right middle and ring fingers plunge deep into her dripping, needy cunt with a loud wet squelch, paired with a loud moan of relief and pleasure. Her free hand immediately reaches for her breasts, and without a care in the world, Sooyoung fucks herself right there in the carpark, anyone watching be damned! Every curl of fingers against wet flesh draws loud, lewd moans out of Sooyoung. With how much teasing she's put herself through, she's beyond even attempting to mask her need to cum. Furthermore, no one's around anyway—she can afford to let the world know how fucking good it feels to fuck herself for anyone to watch!

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck…"

Sooyoung doesn't bother controlling herself. She's so damned fucking close anyway, so if anyone catches her, she'll just have to cum harder for them to watch.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sooyoung catches a car turning into the carpark…

Car. Driver. Light rays flash across her naked body—

Sooyoung's shrill scream breaks the peace of the night air, just as her orgasm tears through her body. Her pussy explodes—a straight gush of squirt rains all over the tarmac as her hips buck hard, knees buckling beneath her. She manages to grab onto the roof of her car to support herself, but the gush of squirt never ends—Sooyoung expels her earlier pent-up sexual frustration, now in the form of pure sexual pleasure, all over the tarmac of the parking lots under the night sky. She rubs her clit furiously, the hiss from the violent streams of cum flowing along her labia almost deafening. Sooyoung doesn't care that her squirt is drenching her legs with every flick of her fingers across her clit—she just needs more, more, more, more!

All good things must come to an end—even with the prolonged pleasure that Sooyoung still tries to keep going, her orgasm does end up subsiding as her squirt ends, the final few droplets running down her thighs. Sooyoung pants against the mask, and her body trembles under the cool air of the night. The exertion of having the strongest orgasm she could've enjoyed is evident in the way sweat drips down her body—down her forehead and cheeks, along her neck, between the valley of her breasts, and down her ripped core and beyond. Her long, straight hair sticks to her skin, and Sooyoung wonders if she should take a few selfies right now—

Wait—where's that car—?!

Sooyoung's head snaps around to look for the car from earlier. One look, and she catches the same car parked all the way on the other end from where she is, in the other dark corner of this car park. There's no one there—it seems as if the owner left without noticing…

Sooyoung breathes a sigh of relief as she tugs off her mask, finally letting herself enjoy the cool night air across her face. She opens the car door and grabs her phone, throwing her mask onto the seat, then she wanders over right under a streetlight. With the bright lighting and her camera, she begins to style her messy hair in preparation for her impromptu nude photoshoot.

Strike a few poses—a peace sign over her left eye, a half-heart on her cheek just like her outros for her dance videos, her signature first-love grin, Sooyoung captures more and more of her little nighttime escapade into memory. These nude photoshoots are Sooyoung's favorite parts of these nights—she loves getting off on them when she's home.

'Fuck, I really need to pee right now.'

Sooyoung bites her lip as she looks around. Once again, there still is no one present near her, and she releases a shaky breath of anticipation as she switches her camera to video mode. She raises the phone up and hits record, flashing a bright grin for the camera with a peace sign before she puffs her cheeks…

"Oh, fuck, yessss…"

A warm trickle flows down Sooyoung's skin before a clear stream erupts from between her meaty thighs. Slowly, a puddle forms between her spread legs as Sooyoung empties her bladder, the unblinking eye of the camera recording every second of her relieving herself. Sooyoung shudders in pleasure—the thrill of urinating naked while recording herself, visible for everyone to see, keeps Sooyoung's arousal high. The strong gush of piss splatters all over the ground, the loud hiss of her stream against her labia, and the sound of the soft night breeze around her body is all picked up by the microphone, and when her stream softly tapers off into droplets left, Sooyoung deigns the camera another first-love grin before cutting off the recording.

With her desires temporarily sated, Sooyoung finally sets out for her original plans for the night. The screen in her car reads 9:45pm, and she reaches within to turn the engine off before finally putting on her sports bra and FBT shorts. She ties her hair up into a messy ponytail and does a cursory check of her outfit after.

'Oh, the shorts…'

Sooyoung's sweat from earlier hadn't dried off, and with her shorts being white, it was now semi-translucent. With more physical activity, the sweat would definitely soak through—her shorts would be transparent.

'Ehe, I'd love that…'

The thought of essentially being bottomless during her run causes a streak of warmth in her tummy. When paired with the bright sports bra, she knows she'd definitely get eyes on her easily, with her color choice contrasting with the darkness around her. If anything, Sooyoung gets even fucking hornier at the thought, and she's already ruining her shorts thinking about it.

With a few stretches to warm up her body, Sooyoung begins her run for the night.

—--------

The cold night air does wonders for Sooyoung. The run is enjoyable—Sooyoung loves running and keeping herself fit, but what keeps her on edge is how wet she is. Her shorts are soaked through now from a mixture of both sweat and slick. There aren't many people around still, only a few runners and cyclists, none of which seem to really notice her situation. Emboldened by this, Sooyoung begins to entertain her dirtier fantasies.

'I might as well take this off…'

Sooyoung doesn't hesitate any more. She runs to the side of the path and pulls down on her FBT shorts. The garment falls to her ankles, and she steps out of it. With her ass and pussy exposed fully to the night air once again, Sooyoung resumes her run further deeper into the park.

Another ten minutes goes by with no one coming in the opposite direction. Sooyoung can feel her slick running down her thighs, and the familiar desperation to get herself off begins to curl around Sooyoung's mind. Tonight is one of Sooyoung's more active nights, and her libido is definitely on the higher side. When the running trail forks into two, one brightly lit, the other not so much, Sooyoung takes herself down the dimly lit path in search for a quiet place hidden away from the more public areas. Experience tells her she'll reach the pond where she'd usually run by on a normal night, but for tonight, she'd step on the bridge across it, where there's a deck with benches facing the water.

Under the darkness, Sooyoung's lustful thoughts go into overdrive. Without a second thought, she begins to tug on her sports bra, her petite breasts bouncing out of the garment as she pulls it off her sweaty body. Naked again, Sooyoung begins to tease her hard clit as she jogs the final few meters that takes her onto the bridge and to the bench.

"Oh my God, fuck!"

Sooyoung winces at the cold stone against her skin when she plants herself down on the bench. Her clothing is thrown aside on the bench, and immediately she spreads her legs wide open, her fingers rubbing along her slick folds and over her clit, now out of its hood. Her other hand kneads her petite breasts, paying special attention to her taut nipples. The combined pleasure of her actions draws loud moans out of her as she throws her head back against the backrest. Sooyoung doesn't waste time—two fingers plunge deep in her dripping cunt, gliding along her slick walls and ending in a curl against her G-spot. The wet sounds of Sooyoung fucking herself mixes with her lewd moans.

"Oh, fuck, just like that, fuck, so good!"

In Sooyoung's pleasure-addled mind, she briefly recalls this spot of the park being used for some form of free concert or something a few months back. Right now, her brain morphs that memory into fantasy—she's now on stage, naked, spread, exhibiting her most intimate moments for a large crowd to see. She imagines all of the crowd masturbating with her, to her, the blatant display of eroticism multiplying her lust tenfold. The thought of so many faceless, nameless individuals, all of their eyes on her "performance" for them has her pushing her third finger into her pussy.

"Fuck, it feels so good, I feel so good! Watch me, watch me fuck my needy pussy, watch me fuck myself!"

Sooyoung's words go out to the masses, and yet at the same time, to no one but herself. Reality blends with fantasy—she can hear and feel the caress of the night breeze across her body, burning with lust, but at the same time, she can see the crowd, hear them pleasuring themselves to her. The pleasure of this session clouds her mind, the tendrils snaking around her consciousness, drawing her deeper and deeper into her fantasy. The roar of the crowd begins to rise in volume, just as her orgasm begins to build…

'Come on, Sooyoung, add that last finger…'

Sooyoung obliges to her inner devil's instruction. She stretches her pussy with four fingers, her slick drenching her palm with every stroke. Her forearm burns with how hard and fast she fucks herself, but she's unable to stop—not when she has an audience. It doesn't matter that the audience is imaginary—she's too far gone to even register that.

'God, I wish I had a cock fucking me right now…'

This thought draws a loud, broken moan out of Sooyoung's throat. Her fantasy morphs once more—this time, she has a man on top of her, his cock fucking deep into her cunt. She doesn't even bother making up an identity—he's nameless and faceless, just like the crowd, with his chiseled body and strong arms wrapped around her body as he fucks her with his thick, warm, hard cock over and over and over. Her moans get even louder, hands even rougher. Sooyoung fucks herself just as hard as she imagines the man would fuck her, and the crowd cheers in approval at the "live" sex show.

"Fuck, faster, faster, just like that, just like that—!"

Sooyoung's imaginary partner obliges, and she bucks her hips in response to the surges of pleasure through her veins that she draws from her hand. The pure lust coursing through her veins all comes to a head as the tension builds and builds—she doesn't even feel the soreness of her forearm anymore!

"Oh my God, oh my God, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna fucking squirt, watch me squirt, watch me squirt all over!"

The peace of the night is torn with Sooyoung's shrill scream, akin to a blade through cloth. At the same time, mixed in with the scream is the sound of Sooyoung's pussy gushing. Violent jets of squirt cover everything in front of her as her body spasms uncontrollably, writhing, convulsing, and seizing, all while her eyes roll back in her head, the orgasm consuming every bit of her rational mind. Sooyoung swears she can hear the roar of the crowd as she achieves orgasm, all while squirt splatters all over the wooden floors of the observation deck. Sooyoung's second violent jet of squirt sprays between the railings, just as her third and fourth jets do. Spray after spray of Sooyoung's squirt gushes into the pond, the loud splashes of her cum against the water adding to the sexual mess of sounds in the night. When Sooyoung's orgasm subsides, she lies exhausted, delirious, and giddy. She barely even registers as the warm trickles of pee begin to flow from her cunt, before the stream begins to pick up. All Sooyoung can do is sigh in relief as she relieves herself and empties her bladder all over the observation deck, the puddle flowing between the cracks into the pond below.

Minutes, maybe even hours pass—Sooyoung doesn't know how long. When she finally catches her breath and the world stops spinning, she picks up her clothing and staggers along the path back to where it rejoins the other running path. A cursory check of her watch shows 10:45pm, and it is at this point that Sooyoung decides to return back to her car to head for home.

The path back to the car is long—it'd take her a while to go back by walking. Sooyoung decides to run back, but this time, she doesn't bother with clothes any more. She'll run the whole way naked, and if there's anyone that catches her, she doesn't care. They can look all they want!

'And maybe, they can fuck me if they ask…'

That dangerous thought stems from the fantasy from earlier. Sooyoung can't deny it any more—she's craving cock, and while she usually can manage this desire, she's not gotten laid in a long while. That fantasy from earlier drove the devil out of her, and if she gets any opportunity tonight, she just might take it.

But first, she desperately needs a drink to hydrate herself after all those orgasms. Thank God for the nearby water dispenser.

—--------

Sooyoung begins her run once again, along the brightly lit path back. It doesn't take her long to meet someone coming in the opposite direction—two girls, both of whom almost seem to ignore her. A short while later, she runs into two male cyclists who wolf whistle at her as she passes. She can feel their lustful gazes across her body, and she feels her pussy drip down her thighs at the attention. However, they let her pass by without making any more passes, and Sooyoung sighs in disappointment as the missed opportunity for a public threesome. She needs a good fuck, damn it!

Sadly, there are no more people on the route Sooyoung takes. Soon enough, she nears the car park she left her car at, and she notices the fewer number of cars left. One more check of her watch—11:10 pm—and Sooyoung steps over to her car and opens the trunk to grab a towel and some slippers before retrieving her discarded white shirt from within her car. The run, as well as all of the masturbation, left her sweaty and sticky, and she desperately needs a quick shower to rinse herself.

Sooyoung locks her car once more and makes her way to the bathroom, now wearing slippers instead of socks and shoes. Her eyes scan the building—whoever designed the bathroom left the showers outside, right in the open, where anyone could see someone showering. Whatever the architects were doing, they definitely didn't think it through, but for Sooyoung, it doesn't matter. All she cares about is which side to choose—male or female?

It doesn't take long for Sooyoung to make her way to the male toilet. She steps into the bathroom and casually places her white shirt onto the sink counter before grabbing her towel to leave for the shower—

"Ah!"

"Fuck!"

Two cries of surprise echo in the empty bathroom, just as two pairs of eyes meet each other. One rakes across a naked body, the other trembles in fear and dread at the surprise.

"Y-Yves?!"

Shit.

"Oh, fuck."

Sooyoung knows it'd only be a matter of time before this happened. Someone would recognize her eventually, but in a male bathroom which she was trespassing in, all while nude…

She lunges for this dude, who backs up in surprise. Her hand claps over his mouth to muffle his yelp, and she begins to speak.

"You caught me, Mister. That's right, I'm Yves."

She doesn't give him time to reply. Instead, she begins to cut herself a deal.

"I knew this would happen someday, and I need you to keep this a secret for me. Can you do that? Please say yes, please!"

When the man nods yes, Sooyoung relaxes and releases her hand from his mouth.

"Y—You're Yves, the dancer!"

"Ah, yeah…" Sooyoung can't find it in her to cover up—he'd seen all of her anyway. "Nice to meet you." She reaches out a hand.

"I—I'm a big fan, um… It's nice to meet you too, I'm Lee Min Jun."

When their handshake ends, both Sooyoung and Minjun stand awkwardly in front of each other. Minjun's lustful gaze travels across Sooyoung's body once again, and Sooyoung bites her lip as she considers the situation she's in right now. She's naked, in front of a random fan, and he's looking at her so naughtily…

"Minjun-ah, I need you to keep this a secret for me, okay?"

"Ah—sure, yes, um…"

Sooyoung sees her chance and makes up her mind.

"If you… If you keep this secret for me, I'll… I'll make sure you get a reward worth your trouble."

Minjun perks up in anticipation and undisguised lust, though he tries not to show it. Sooyoung thanks the heavens that she's not meeting someone who'd choose to have his way with her against her will.

"You came here to pee, right?"

"Yeah…" Minjun's voice trails off, the realization beginning to dawn in his eyes.

"Hmm…"

Sooyoung steps up to him and pulls him towards her. She throws her towel aside and pins him to the counter, her naked body pressing intimately against his warm clothed one.

"Have you ever given a girl a golden shower?"

"Wha—?!"

"Have you ever pissed all over a girl?"

"N-No…"

"Do you want to?"

Minjun hesitates, but Sooyoung knows he'll crumble. The temptation is written all over his face.

Sooyoung ups the ante, going all in.

"If you piss all over me right now, I'll let you fuck my pussy and cum in me."

—----

'I'm such a dirty slut,' Sooyoung thinks, as she works Minjun's shorts off his hips. She engages in a fierce liplock with him, their tongues swirling against each other's as she helps him undress. They break the kiss long enough for Minjun to step out of his shorts and pull his shirt off, and Sooyoung throws his clothes aside on the counter before crashing her lips to his in another desperate kiss. Minjun pulls Sooyoung against him, his hard cock pressed between their bodies. Sooyoung giggles when she feels the precum stain her skin.

"You're really wet huh, Minjun? Can't wait to pee on me?"

"I've thought about it, fuck…"

Sooyoung doesn't waste any more time—she kisses and licks her way down Minjun's body while jerking his cock until she squats between his legs. She looks up at Minjun, her big eyes filled with so much lust.

"I need to pee too, Minjun…"

"Fuck it, Yves, just pee with me. I wanna watch you pee."

"Okay." Sooyoung flashes him a huge grin, and she gently jerks him off before aiming his hard cock down over her body.

"You can start peeing, Minjun."

A short moment passes…

"Yessss, fuuuck…"

Minjun's warm, golden piss begins to rain down on her as he releases his control over his bladder. Immediately, she directs his cock to cover every inch of her skin with his pee, specifically across her face and on her breasts. Sooyoung even wraps her lips around Minjun's tip to drink his piss from the source, then she licks his length up and down and takes his balls into her mouth to apply a gentle suction on them, all while Minjun urinates freely all over her.

Sooyoung's never felt so slutty before—indulging in her exhibitionism and piss kink together with a man she's just met is not something she'd ever thought she would do, and here she is, letting a stranger urinate all over her and even drinking it with the promise to let him fuck her after.

At the same time, as Minjun pisses all over her, Sooyoung begins to relieve herself as well. A strong golden stream gushes out from between her legs as she takes Minjun's golden shower, and both her and Minjun moan in pleasure and relief as they empty their bladders together. The couple's lust for each other reaches an all time high when both of their respective streams end and Sooyoung rises up from between Minjun's legs, lust and seduction written all over her features.

"Did you like it, Minjun?"

"Fuck yes." Minjun bites his lip, his cock pointing straight. Sooyoung giggles and flips their position—now, she's the one leaning against the sink. She turns around and meets Minjun's gaze in the mirror, their eyes never breaking contact as she bends over and pushes her ass towards him.

"Come fuck me, Minjun, and cum in this wet, naughty pussy."

Minjun's loud curse is the last sound Sooyoung registers before she releases the sultriest moan of the night. Her voice echoes around the empty bathroom and into the night as Minjun shoves his cock right into her pussy with one stroke. Sooyoung doesn't even get a second to rest before Minjun begins to pound her pussy, his grunts mixing with her loud moans.

"Oh, oh, fuck, Minjun, ah, ah, ah~!"

"Mmgh, fuck, Yves, fuck, you're so fucking tight—!"

No more words are exchanged after—Minjun's animalistic grunts and Sooyoung's broken moans fill the space. Minjun's hips clap against Sooyoung's ass with every harsh thrust he sends into her pussy, and he reaches around Sooyoung to fondle her chest as they begin to make out.

Minjun's cock stretches out Sooyoung just the way she wants to be. Sooyoung swears Minjun's cock is just like what she dreamed of earlier. Her pussy is a tight fit around his cock—she gets the breath knocked out of her whenever he hilts on every thrust. Slick gushes around the gaps between Minjun's cock and Sooyoung's cunt on every exit, and both her and Minjun let themselves get lost in the pleasure of their impromptu sex session. Their moans get louder, their curses more frequent, and the slaps of flesh against flesh as they fuck harder and harder breaks the peace of the night.

"Fuck, fuck, you fuck me so good, fuck!"

"That's right, Yves, fuck, I'm gonna fuck you so hard everyone's gonna know we're fucking!"

Sooyoung's pussy clenches around Minjun's cock at his words. Minjun's bold statement plants the idea of people outside listening to them have sex, and it is with this thought that Sooyoung is thrown over the edge—

"FUCK, I'M CUMMING!"

Sooyoung screams as her knees buckle, and a huge gush of squirt sprays Minjun's feet. Minjun holds Sooyoung up by her hips and pistons into her as she cums all over him. Sooyoung's pussy quivers around his cock, and Minjun lasts no more than three thrusts around Sooyoung's orgasming cunt before he slams his hips against her ass. Semen erupts from his thick cock right into Sooyoung's womb, white hot shots of cum painting her insides white with every hard spurt. Minjun fucks Sooyoung through both of their orgasms, and he wraps his arms around her body in a bear hug as both of them come down from their respective highs. Both of them stay cuddled up until Minjun pulls out, his cock beginning to soften. Thick white semen flows out of Sooyoung's used pussy almost immediately, a testament to how much Minjun came while within Sooyoung.

"Minjun-ah, I'm gonna pee…"

Almost immediately, Sooyoung's urine begins to trickle down her legs. The trickle becomes a stream as Sooyoung empties her bladder again, as she usually would after a round of sex.

"Yves, I need to pee too."

"On me, again."

With her instructions given, Minjun raises his rapidly rehardening cock with his hand. A second goes by, and he begins to sigh in relief—Minjun proceeds to join Sooyoung in emptying his bladder, but he urinates all over Sooyoung's ass, pussy, and legs. Sooyoung moans as Minjun's warm pee washes over her privates, and she rubs her pussy as she watches him pee all over her again, his urine dripping all over her hand as she indulges in the last bit of debauchery for the night.

When Minjun's second golden shower slowly tapers to a few drips, Sooyoung turns around to kiss Minjun fully on the lips. None of them care about how dirty they are—they're beyond that—and instead, they enjoy the deep kiss they share.

"Did you like it?"

"Oh, fuck yes."

Sooyoung giggles, and she lets go of Minjun, though she keeps his hand in hers.

"Let's shower together."

—-------

Both Minjun and Sooyoung towel themselves off after their brief rinse—Sooyoung with her own towel, Minjun with an extra Sooyoung has.

"Minjun, where's your phone?"

"In the pocket of my pants."

Sooyoung walks over to Minjun's pants and fishes it out. She passes it to Minjun for him to unlock it, and when she gets it back, she punches her number into it and calls herself.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling myself. I want your number too."

A naughty smile graces her features as she boldly reveals her next thought.

"I wanna do this again with you, Minjun…

"But next time, I really want you to pee inside me…"

#kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop smut #loona smut #loona yves smut #yves smut #ha sooyoung smut #piss kink

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vidra-comprehends · 4 months

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Gabriel and KITR for Ultragift

And the ficlet about the V models exploring Hell together:

These are my gifts to @gayrhys, happy holidays💜

The image will probably look fine on Twitter, but let me know if you'd like it in higher resolution.

Close-ups, time-lapse and rambling under the cut.

Whew. It's been a while since I've drawn anything digitally.

Including the lineart on paper, this took me a little over two weeks, which is about a day of raw work in total. I used pen, pencil, paper, and my finger on the phone screen. There may have been a little blood involved as well.

Here is the process:

[Video ID: A time-lapse of making the drawing in ibisPaint. It starts with the background, then continues with the base colours and finishes with shading and details like dried blood.]

#ultragift #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #kitr #kitr ultrakill #also sorry for catifying the cat... if i had had to shade low poly kitr i would have probably gotten an aneurysm in the process #lonely angels go in the void of space as a metaphor :3 #vidrart #id in alt text

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vkelleyart · 6 days

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“Remember the earth whose skin you are: red earth, black earth, yellow earth, white earth brown earth, we are earth. Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have their tribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them, listen to them. They are alive poems.” - Joy Harjo, Native American Poet Laureate

Getting in Earth Day art just under the wire! The five dancers represent the five main biomes of Earth: Tundra, Aquatic, Desert, Grassland, & Forest. My hope was to demonstrate the power and fragility of each environment as they balance precariously against each other—or perhaps *alongside* each other. Either way, we’re all part of the dance. 🌎❤️

Time-lapse video under the cut!

#earth day #original art #digital illustration

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wanderingsongbird · 4 months

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Been a while since I've done a full color piece. :3 So have an AU version of Kate

A dnd version

Aasimar Bard Kate! ♥

Time-lapse video under the cut

Pose ref by @adorkastock

#munart #dnd au #aasimar kate

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leiascully · 7 months

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Fic: who shall rest and who shall wander

980 words; post-revival; g for gentle; soft and Jewish

Mulder doesn't remember the last time he celebrated Rosh Hashanah. He doesn't go to the synagogue, but he sits Gracie on the counter as he peels and cuts apples. She kicks her little feet against the cabinets and he passes her apple slices. Enough will make it into the cake. He likes feeding his child. She grows and thrives, all auburn curls and inquisitive green eyes, and it soothes just a little of the ache Emily left. He never had the chance to nourish his other children. If William - Jackson - survived or thrived, it wasn't on his account. But Grace's cheeks are round and her limbs are strong and he is so grateful he doesn't know what to do with all that he feels.

He could go to the synagogue. He's sure there are any number of them in the greater DC area, maybe even a congregation that would take in a lapsed atheist whose memories of services flicker like a havdalah candle. No doubt his therapist would tease out some thread woven deep into his consciousness: an image of his mother with her hand cupped over her eyes, the rich smell of challah and the taste of wine. A moment of peace, a moment of fear; letters on a page he traced but could not read. Maybe that's the root of his love for the mysterious and the unknowable.

Gracie asks to get down. When he complies, she scampers off with a basket of books to tuck herself into her favorite Gracie-sized chair, her own little rocker on the front porch. It's a pretty day. He watches her through the window as she flips through her books and chatters to herself. It is a perfect moment, wholly beautiful. Holy. Beautiful.

He pulls out his phone and brings up a recording of the only prayer he can remember. Avinu Malkeinu plays, tinny and thin, his phone's speakers not doing justice to the timbre of the singer's voice. It is mournful, soaring. The tune sounds familiar, as if it's been in his dreams or his bones all these years, half-remembered. Something about sin, something about forgiveness: the same song he's sung all his life, transcribing himself into a minor key. Mulder chops the apples small, tips them into a bowl with lemon and honey and cinnamon, leaves them to sit. Let them soak in the sweetness. He has been allowing himself the same luxury, these past few years.

For the first time, he opens a recipe for challah. The dough is soft and sticky. He calls Grace back in, gives her a blob of it, teaches her to knead as if he didn't learn it from a YouTube video five minutes ago. Under her hands, it transforms into a mess that covers the counter, her face, and her hands. But the dough in the mixer bowl becomes round and taut, a thing all its own. He believes that it will grow and transform in the bright warmth of a sunbeam. He believes that he has made something good and nourishing. He believes that he can, now. It took years.

They leave the dough to rise and he takes Gracie down to the creek. They gather pebbles on the way. He cups his hands to receive Gracie's selections, and she fills them. There are enough pebbles for her to fling four little fistfuls, with a few left over for him. They patter on the water. Tiny fish flicker away. He doesn't know what to say or how to explain it to Gracie, but he feels lighter, after. L'dor v'dor: a small gift from the grandmother Grace will never meet. He is free to rewrite his parents' legacy for her, to give her only the wheat and let the chaff blow away. She will inherit a stranger world, but she has her mother's good sense. He consoles himself with the notion that they did all they could to make sure there was any world for her at all. When she gets tired, he hoists her onto his shoulders. The tall grass in the field has gone from green to golden when he wasn't looking. It shifts in the wind with a hissing like the sea, and Grace watches the horizon, beyond and beyond.

When they get back to the house, he listens to Leonard Cohen. They have been through fire and water, through high ordeal and common trial. Gracie colors at the table. Apple cake, in its nascent state, holds no interest for her since she isn't allowed to eat the batter, but she likes plunging her fist into the quivering mass of the challah dough. It consumes her arm almost to the elbow; she laughs and makes a face and both things remind him so much of Scully that his heart squeezes. The mixer whirs, whirling the cake batter together. Mulder braids the challah the way he used to braid Samatha's hair and coils it into a round loaf. He leaves it to rise again under its tea towel. Good things take time.

The house smells amazing by the time Scully gets home. The brisket emerges from the slow cooker in shreds, dripping jus. Mulder serves it to his beautiful girls alongside a tangled wedge of potato kugel. There's a kale salad for the adults, accented with more apples and some pickled beets, and peas for Grace, which she picks up one by one with her little plastic fork.

"What did we learn today?" Mulder asks.

"Shana tova!" Grace declares through a mouthful of challah. They didn't say the right words over it, but Mulder feels like he prayed. The flames of the candles on the table are as steady as Scully's gaze, as steady as the warmth that blooms inside him.

"We're going to have a sweet year," Mulder promises, and that's a prayer too.

Scully tilts her head. She sips at her wine. "I believe you," she says, and takes his hand.

#leiascully fic #my fic #jewish mulder #xfiles fic

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valeria-corvinia · 2 months

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Stellar Jay

I grew up hating these little guys. They’re beautiful, but they’re LOUD. And very adept at stealing food from campsites.

When I learned they were corvids, it explained so much - that call, the intelligence, why they seemed to have a grudge against my brothers - I just had to give them another chance.

(Time-lapse video under cut)

#my art #birb #birb art #bird #bird art #corvid love #corvid #corvid art #stellar jay

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thatoneaceinthecorner · 9 months

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RQG Art Masterpost

Hey guys! So recently I've had a wave of notes on some of my old rqg art, and a few new followers. I got really nostalgic about rqg and decided I wanted an easier way to access my rqg-related art (other than the dumpster fire that is tumblr's tagging system), and I wanted other people who are just finding my art to have an easy way of looking at the rest, if they want to. So I dug through everything and made a masterpost! This post contains links to all the rqg art I've ever posted on tumblr, as well as a couple images that I couldn't find the original posts for, despite all the digging. It's loosely organized, emphasis on loosely, but I hope it should be fun to look through if anyone ever feels like it. Spoiler warning for the whole show, just in case anyone new isn’t done with their first listen. There's also stuff in here that's pretty old and that I don't necessarily love anymore, but seeing how my skills progressed over time is still pretty neat. This is a long post, so I've put all the links under the cut. Enjoy!

My top three pieces and why they're my favorites

General:

Shoin's sketch of London

RQG Inktober: Scars

Resurrection Ritual in the Ursan Village

Zolf Smith, cleric of what comes next (comic)

Alex's horrible Barret Monster with knife arms

Ada and Tesla in their lab with the Babbage brain

"Why didn't you do more" (it's all your fault comic)

Blue-veined arm in Other London

Zolf and Azu hear the hivemind

Sasha and Cicero leave Rome behind them

Apophis in human form

Party camping outside the Garden of Yerlik

Kantu!! Because I thought they were cute

Also these two drawings, the ones I couldn't find the original posts for. Azu giving Hamid a piggy-back, and a really old drawing of Azu in Carter's mind museum.

Sasha Racket:

Sasha hangs out with gargoyles (and sphinxes)

Sasha portrait

Goodbye, Brock

Goodbye, Grizzop

If Grizzop had lived and helped raised Sasha's kids

Sasha deserves bat wings, as a treat

"I so wish you could meet them"

My very first drawing of Sasha, post-Kafka fight

Wilde:

Wilde masterpost (yes he has his own)

"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"

His brain might've popped

Wilde looking pretty (plus bonus shitpost sketch)

"Oh Wilde, you must have been so scared"

Wilde with blue veins

Wilde gets his magic back (first time I ever drew him)

Zoscar:

Wild and Zolf in the rain, epilogue

"We've got this" "Yeah, we've got this" aka Parallels

Breath of Life

Wilde's first death

Peace and comfort (for once)

Actually some more peace and comfort

And a little more

Aaand back to some angst

RQG Zine Art:

The End of the World As We Know It

How Little He Matters

Rome Is Where the Heart Is

Animatics/Animations/Videos:

Hamimatic - Immature

Zolf is the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

Wilde and Zolf in the rain but animated this time

Sasha protecting Wilde in Paris

Time lapse of some of the "Breath of Life" drawing

Ben Meredith quoting Jenna Marbles (starring Toothbrush Zolf)

Doodles, sketches, and requests:

Messy busts of the whole party (plus Wilde, obviously)

Azu and Grizzop outfit/deity swap

Never wake a sleeping Barnes (comic)

Toothbrush Zolf

Azu caring for undead Sasha

Ada mourning Babbage AU

Fun sketch page of various PCs

Domestic Zolf and Wilde

Canon-compliant under-dressed Zolf (look he's posing like the coppertone baby from that one brand of sunscreen, i thought it was funny)

Sasha and Wilde bonding time

If Sasha and Cel met each other

Sasha and Zolf, amputee buddies

Wilde in a flower crown (Everyone Liked That)

More domestic Zolf and Wilde

Sasha playing with Hamid's twin brothers

Sasha looking after Grizzop's kids

Zolf and Wilde hugging

Sasha and Skraak, dynamic duo

Barnes and Carter hugging

Kobold in the kitchen with Zolf

Ada holding down the fort

Happy Hamid

Cel and Grag

Wilde and Hamid high-five

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retro-rezz-the-est · 1 year

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ok perfect ummmmm would you write hangman/reader where reader is starting college (teehee) and they feel really stressed out about it and hangman comforts them (in whatever way he thinks is best)?????

I see what you did there lol 😉 lemme see what I can do for this lol

also I kinda used this as an outlet to voice my own school frustrations so I hope that’s okay lmao 😂

word count: 2,342

rating: pg-13 (cursing and whatnot). reader is also gender-neutral.

You feel like hell.

You feel like actual, definite, indescribable hell, and you can tell that it's all over your face.

The bags under your eyes, the tension straining your neck, the burning sensation of holding back tears stinging the backs of your eyes....you couldn't take it anymore.

"Fuck!" you scream, slamming your front door and sliding down it to the floor, tossing your bag aside and curling your knees to your chest.

You could feel the incoming rush of tears before they even made themselves known, that familiar burning stinging your eyes coming back as you pressed your palms against them.

You hate it here, you hate it here and it shows.....you knew that going to university - especially beginning your journey as late as you have - would be stressful but damn, did you underestimate yourself.

Even before you got to the damn place to begin with, you were already having second thoughts and started to doubt yourself.

The second that you got your acceptance letter and the very second that all of the congratulations started to come in, the anxiety began to settle in.

You felt nervous, shaky, and anxiety ran rampant through your system but you tried, you tried so hard to keep it from showing.

So you took all of the pictures, you took all the videos, you smiled and hugged your family and close friends as they offered their praise and congratulations to you. You posed with your acceptance letter, laughed with your mother as you went shopping for supplies, sat with your father and smiled as he cried about how proud of you he was that you were going to such a prestigious school and how well you would do amongst others like you.

You let everyone parade you around like the trophy that they see you as, you let your parents show you off to their friends and to all of their coworkers as "their darling little scholar" who got accepted to one of the best schools in the country....

....you stood and you laughed and you sat and you smiled and you felt - you feel - like hell.

Your worst thoughts begin to swarm in your head as you peel yourself from the floor, feeling hot tears streak down your face as you kicked off your shoes and stormed over to your couch, flopping face first onto it.

Maybe this is all a mistake...maybe you weren't cut out for all of this. Maybe you shouldn't have picked this school; hell, maybe you shouldn't have even chosen to go to university in the first place. How were you gonna manage your heavy class load with your job when you can barely handle working on its own?

The heft of everyone's expectations and hopes weighed heavy on your shoulders but now even more so, seeming to press you further and further into the couch and smothering you.

How would your family react if they saw you like this, stressing yourself out and practically banging yourself against a wall with anxiety? Your friends? Would they still be proud of you? Would they still hold you highly and support you even if you were letting them all down?

Would they take away their praise and berate you for being so selfish, for wasting your parents' money and time as well as the school's just because you were having a lapse in your judgement?

How would they even react to seeing you like this?

You scrubbed at your face with the back of your hand; god, you feel like such a fucking failure. How the hell do you even face them now that you feel like turning back, when you're so close to it all?

You didn't - well, more like couldn't - hear the footsteps approaching your front door and the soft jingle of keys as they unlocked it, the jangling of the your roommate's belt doing nothing to pull you from your emotional stupor.

Hangman called out your name, slipping off his boots and placing the next to your own. "Hey, I'm back! I got the stuff you asked for...I don't know why, though, 'cause you usually only ask for this when you're-"

He paused, his ear perking up at the sound of a loud sob and a sniffle that sent a bolt straight through his chest. Turning his head towards the couch, he then spots you, your feel dangling off the side and your face buried in your arms as you lay flat on the cushions.

"Oh no..." he sighs, striding over towards where you lay with his long legs and places the small plastic bag in his hands aside at the foot of the couch, kneeling in front of you with a worried look on his own face. "Shit, what happened? Is everything alright? Does someone need their nose smashed in?"

You don't respond to his questions and you barely even more when he places his hand at your back, gently running his hand over it as your sobs grow, your entire body trembling.

The two of you sit there for quite some time, with your eyes burning from your tears and your heart beating rapidly from all the emotion and Hangman kneeling at your side, saying nothing but offering everything that he possibly can non-verbally. His presence is a warm one, a familiar one, and one that you're too stubborn to say that you needed.

"Please," he whispers, not wanting to irritate you further, "just tell me what's wrong. Things won't get better if you just keep it in, sweetheart. We're friends, remember? We promised each other to tell each other anything that was bothering us."

At long last does your body finally begin to rise, your legs swinging out in front of you so that you're finally sitting upright. Your hands still cover your face as you hunch over, the dam finally bursting the second you feel his hand, warm and soft yet calloused and roughened, place itself on your knee, his thumb brushing against it lightly.

You let everything out: how you feel, all of the struggles that you know you're going to face in finally going to university, the fear of letting down those closest to you and losing their love and trust, how fractured your mental state has become due to the weight of their expectations....all of it.

And throughout it all, Hangman says nothing, only thumbing your knee occasionally as he listens to you spiel and your choked up sobs fill his ears.

How long has this been going on? How long have you been feeling this way? he thinks. You had looked so jovial the second that acceptance letter came in, so much so that he was the very first person that you told as soon as you opened it.

But now....now, look at you. How could he have missed this?

"Look at me, sweetheart. Just look at me, okay?"

His voice is as soft as ever in your ear, tugging at your heartstring indefinitely but you refuse to look at him....not when you look like this, not when you feel like this. His hands move from your knee to squeezing your shoulders gently, the move somewhat comforting your nerves.

Your hands finally slide down your face and into your lap, your tear-stained cheeks and red eyes now on full display. You look a right mess but Hangman doesn't comment on it, still gazing at you with those bright blue eyes full of concern for your well-being. You ball your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palms and you feel your heart race in your chest.

This was a mistake, this was all a mistake. Tears begin to burn at the corners of your eyes again, another wave of emotion threatening to swallow you whole. You're already too deep within your own head and nothing he can say or do will be able to pull you out of it-

A soft warmth envelopes your face, tilting your head upwards before you hear Hangman speak. "I said, look at me, sweetheart."

And reluctantly, you do, slowly opening up your eyes and blinking away your tears to reveal Hangman before you, a comforting smile on his face and both of his hands cupping your cheeks, forcing you to look directly at him. His hold is gentle, but firm; you're not walking away anytime soon.

Your entire body shakes as the silence grows between you two, the sounds of your shuddering breath filling the air. His gaze is...concerned, but loving. You could only imagine what seeing you like this does to him.

"First of all, I need you to breathe for me, okay? Take a deep breath for me and relax those shoulders."

You do as he asks and he smiles, watching as your body visibly relaxed and some of the lines creasing your forehead disappear. In and out, in and out, over and over again until he's satisfied.

"I know I'm not the best with these kinds of things....hell, I can barely be true with the ones closest to me. But, I've been your friend long enough to know that you'll be fine."

Your brows furrow. "Fine? Did you literally hear anything that I just said? I feel like shit, Adam, actual shit and nothing is gonna-"

You feel him smush your cheeks together in protest, cutting you off as your eyes widen at the motion.

"Excuse me? I was talking, damn it! What gives you the right to say that I'll be fine when I haven't been in months?! You're not listening-"

You try your best to yell at him, to scream out and voice even more of your frustrations but all that comes out is a muffled mess of congealed letters and noises, your lips puffing out and Hangman's smile breaking out into a larger one.

"Are you gonna let me finish now?" he asks, raising a brow the second you move to speak again, only moving his hands when you nod.

"Like I was saying....you are one of the smartest people I know. You've managed to get this far on your own two feet, and that's fucking impressive, if you ask me."

Your brows furrow again but you don't interrupt him this time, letting him continue.

"Everyone always talks about how strong you are, how smart you are, how you appear and seem...but you're breaking, and 'm sorry that I didn't see that - see this - before."

"But you didn't need to, I could've handled this on my own and by myself-"

"Yeah, but you didn't have to. Look at you," he says your name softly, "you're tearing at your own hair and beating yourself up over this."

He pauses before continuing. "If you're not ready, then that's okay. If you are ready but you don't know where to start, then that's okay too. Because you have all of the resources you could possibly need at your disposal...like me, for starters."

Your lips crack into a smile at that one, but you let him finish. "And you have your parents, and you have your friends, and everyone else who cares about you and will be proud of you no matter what you choose to do. And no matter what you do, they will be here to support you, we still be here to support you."

"You mean that?" you ask him.

Hangman nods. "Of course I do. I would never lie to you, not now and not ever. You don't have to stress about shit like that, not like this. If there's anything that's troubling you, let me know so that this-" he squeezes your hands gently, "-doesn't keep happening. You're gonna run yourself ragged at this rate, sweetheart."

A silence passes, then another, and then another before he speaks again. "Just take things one step at a time for me, okay? Handle one thing at a time and whatever happens, happens. You can't control everything at once, so don't."

"And whatever happens, whatever you need, whenever you feel like this...I'll be here. I'll always be here because I care about you. We all care about you," Hangman tells you. "No one'll be disappointed or upset with you about making decisions that you believe are right for you."

And when he calls your name again, dropping his hands from your face and slipping them into your own, pulling yours apart and smoothing away the marks your nails made, your eyes begin to well up for a different reason.

You nod again, slipping a hand from his to wipe your eyes clear again. Your heart thuds in your chest at a more reasonable pace; Adam truly is the best at things like this, despite what he says, and you can't be thankful enough for it.

The afternoon sun that filters in through the window behind him shrouds him in light, making him look akin to an angel, a savior of sorts.

He looks....beautiful.

He grunts when he finally stands to his feet, his other hand slipping from yours as he puts his hands on his hips. That cowboy smile of his is on full display, radiating more light and warmth than the sun behind him.

"Now, I do believe that you need take your mind off things. At least, for a few hours."

"And what do you suggest?"

"Well, I was going to say we could head outside and get drunk off our asses....but I don't want the ice cream you demanded that I get to go to waste." Hangman leans back down to pick up the plastic bag at your feet, pulling out the large tub with his free hand.

"You better not tell anyone about this, either, or else that cowboy ass is grass," you tell him before finally standing from the couch yourself, feeling a bit light-headed before he's immediately at your side, helping you stand with a hand at your hip. Heavens forbid he opens his mouth and gets praise for helping calm you down....his head'll grow bigger than it already is.

"No promises, sweetheart. No promises."

~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: ngl i kinda needed to hear all of this when i first started university lmao, i feel like i'd be much better off with a hangy in my corner XD. also i wrote this in about 4-5 hours with no edits so.....yeah.

#hangman page x reader #hangman page fanfic #hangman page fic #hangman adam page x reader #hangman adam page imagine #aew x reader #aew fanfiction #aew fic #rezz writes some bullshit

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