I have a single social spoon to my name atm, who wants it

whos ur favourite oc :]

I think its a tie between kana and leon bc theyre siblings so their stories are really tied together. Theyre my most fleshed out ocs bc a lot of their story is prequel shit so their everything is integral to the world building

Hello aaah I've been following you for a while and I think you're really cool and I have so many questions!! -- What does your daily practice look like? Did you come up with those texts you recite (like what you quoted in that Earenya post you had a couple weeks ago) yourself (they're very pretty!)? How do you feel about which language you use (since I'm sure using English vs, say, Quenya will feel differently)? How does Buddhism intersect with your practice? -- Feel free to answer all or some -

- or none of these questions, whichever you prefer :) I'm so very very curious because I'm also an elf (not of the Tolkien variety, though I love his works very dearly too) with both a personal and scholarly interest in Buddhism (I love Shingon the most!) so I'd love to hear more about your practice :) I hope me asking so many questions isn't too weird!! Thank you very much and have a beautiful day ♥" part one and two of this ask put together for readability: Hi and thank you for sending these asks!! i love talkin elf stuff and am very glad to do so with all kinds of elves, not just tolkien folks. i parked this in my drafts for a while so i could ponder the answering! the majority of it will be below this cut here. I am also going to re-order the questions and answers. tumblr keeps destroying this in my drafts so i am just going to post it as is and follow upwith additional posts.

Question 1: Did I write the recitations for calling the valar in this post ? Yes! What I say wiggles around a little bit day to day, but the basic parts of these evocations are standard for me. A hello, this is your day or month, you are the power of (sphere of influence) and i will tell you how i am engaging with your sphere today/this month. Enjoy this gift. Question 2: How do i feel about language used (quenya vs english) ? I am a native english speaker, and have been fiddling with quenya for a few years using two resources: the elfdict dictionary and the atanquesta grammar. I do most things in english just for ease's sake, but do enjoy practicing translation and writing. My usual writing form is quenya-mode sarati <3 i leave the tengwar to the younger elves lol. i will especially use quenya for written spells or charms, as it is less immediate than spoken spells and gives me more time to fiddle and make it pretty and double check grammar. there are one or two 'mantras' or small spoken spells i regularly utilize in quenya, but when i say small i do mean that 'aiya earendil elenion ancalima' is one of the longest ones. Question 3: How does buddhism intersect with my practice? Buddhism is a philosophical backbone for my life, and i am influenced by a few traditions moreso than others: There are Tibetan monks who travel through my region, and they are some of the most dear presenters I have ever met. They are magnificent to sit with. I am also influenced by Soto zen via authors of that tradition, and Thien zen primarily through Thich Nhat Hanh. One of the most formative books i read early on in my introduction to buddhism was Thich Nhat Hanh's "Old Path White Clouds", which is a telling of the life of buddha. I also visit a zendo regularly, and my teacher there is a mix of contemplative christian practices and Soto zen. he's very open to my own unique path, and engages me in serious and respectful conversations about my relationship the legendarium and how the deep still places in my heart connect me to the One. It's been since about 2017 that i took on a modified version of the oldest buddhist precepts for laypeople. To reduce harm, to not steal, to not lie, to avoid unhelpful behaviors (my version of avoiding intoxication), and to avoid unhealthy relationships/to change course if they become so. These 'rules' still make up the meat of my axiology and inform my behavior. They work pretty well with elven philosophy ime and there's a lot of overlap. So, the practical aspects are that 'just sitting' zen style, and doing mantras and compassionate meditation tibetan style are parts of my weekly activity. I do a meditation group via zoom with my zendo teacher and companions every anarya (sunday), and when i am well i generally hold well to daily meditation. when i am unwell, it is harder for me to keep to a schedule and i don't treat myself rough about it. i kind of view re-reading Old Path White Clouds as an occasional pilgrimage. Suffering is inherent to life--this is true for all kindreds including eldar. I can act wisely to reduce un-necessary suffering, and i can extend compassion and patience and wisdom to all my fellow sufferers. quiet observation reveals the nature of this extra suffering and how it has occurred, and how it might abate. Question 4: What does my daily practice look like? I might write a longer post about this sometime, but the basics are that i incorporate small repeated rituals daily or weekly, and do bigger spellworks for my constellation of eldar at the full and dark moon. my minimum daily rituals are: -cleaning my body. this is just the basic brushing teeth and washing face. my adherence kind of fluctuates depending on how busy i am. -anointing seven points in the shape of the septaquetra, usually while intoning the weekdays (so starting right wrist=elenya, and following the progression i use

Some personal quest stuff Rav would have if they were a companion:

Act 1

would find them looting dead bodies

would be unclear if they killed them or if they died from the crash

would call PC Tib with low affinity, plays it like a pet name but they just do not care about learning your name

find out they are an oathbreaker paladin

higher affinity find out they were a paladin of Beshaba

Would get first night together imminently after passing priest of Lovatar checks (or refusing them and talking to them after)

Knows the Zhentarim, find out they’ve done merc work for Zhents before

Camp event of finding a giant black stag watching the camp, and Rav trying to convince you to kill it.

gets very upset in the temple of lathander, can knock down one of the statues for affinity ( can sleep with them again in the temple )

🥸 and 🥳 please!

And in case I picked the wrong emojis (cos I am old and tend to do stuff like that) - what are you planning next, and how will you celebrate?

Hi!! 💚 Thanks for the ask, so happy to have you join the fandom and publish your recent microfics 😁

As for what I'm planning next, I just answered that here :)

But for the emojis, I answered the goofy glasses anyway because I'm bored at my extended family's and this makes me look busy 😂

🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?

My husband is the only one who knows! He's been allowed to read one chapter (Honesty Shots) because I'm gatekeeping the story as motivation for him to read canon. He's only read up to PoA ...

But he's very patient as I talk through certain scenes with him and giggle about these characters even though he has no idea why. Poor man has received this question several too many times this year: "So, explain to me how teenage boys think again?"

I have one friend that I grew up with reading the books and going to the midnight premier of all the movies, but then she shat all over my OTP one day and I decided to keep TIBs a secret until I finish it so I can show her "Look, see?! You're wrong. They're the best. And here's 150k words why." I'm a nice friend like that.

🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?

My greatest wish is to finish TIBs around the time of my birthday next year so we can go out to a fancy dinner downtown or when we're on our big trip next year. When I finish TIBs, I'll also want to go back to polish up and edit the first 10 chapters or so, and then I dream about printing it to read for fun.

Thanks for the ask!!

New Year's Writer's Asks

Marian: Where's Anne? Ann: Doing stuff. Marian: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Tib? Ann: Trying to stop Anne from doing stuff. Marian: And Mariana? Ann: Trying to stop Tib from stopping Anne from doing stuff. Marian: I see. And what are you doing here, Ann? Ann: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Mariana from stopping Tib from stopping Anne from doing stuff.

Idea for a Steel Talons rework.

MARV is replaced by the old Mammoth Walker.

The Predator Tanks are brought back into the faction via a call-in (2 Predators, 2 MRTs, 2 rifle squads, 2 rocket teams, and 2 Pitbulls)

The Zone Troopers are brought back, but with a laser minigun instead. You aren’t going to tell me the advanced weapon division just sat on advanced weapons technology for years and years doing literally nothing with it.

The Heavy Harvester gets more health and +2 bunker capacity.

Second repair drone for the MRT (+ bigger repair radius). Also more troop carry capacity.

Mutant Marauders added to the Barracks.

Lasers (or plasma beams) and stealth tech for their rail gun vehicles (Mammoth, Titan, Rigs, and Guardian Cannons). Why else would they have sat on advanced weapon schematics for years? Adding insult to injury, Twilight has the Titan armed with a laser.

Instead of AP ammo, they get explosive rounds for their Wolverines and Watchtowers. Heck, maybe make the Wolverine into an advanced version with the standard AP ammo, a rocket launcher, stealth detection, and a mortar, effectively combining it with the Pitbull. Replace the Pitbull with something else.

Remember that liquid tib they were studying? Work that into something. Anything. Maybe something special for their Orcas?

Hammerheads with searchlights/stealth detection.

Bigger refineries (equipped with an extra silo)

Edit-

They really should’ve gotten railguns by default for some of their stuff. Maybe a separate firing mode setting for their vehicles? Turn on the laser ability for faster RoF, turn on the rail gun for more damage?

Also more EMPs. They’ve got EMP immunity. Why not give them some kind of EMP base defense and one of those crazy EMP systems used by McNeal, but mounted on a modified Pitbull? Heck, maybe just add in the Kodiak as a whole vehicle. Pretty sure Twilight did that.

As bad as Twilight was, it had some bright spots

@saintadeline Hmmmmmm IDK! I feel like Sliabh would at least be like ...tolerant and amicable with most, I mean she already fights with a Godcleaver weapon (tree trunk full of iron bars and nails and used like a battering ram). Tib has the exact type of personality that would ruin a raid party so he'd be rent asunder like a wet paper bag. Adrianka would probably get along well but her nice stuff would just be COVERED in weird stains just existing in Aurgelmir

Dear Irene, I love everything you do Gentleman Jack related…I wanted to know you whether you feel the same: 1. Anne really understands she loves Ann only after returning home after Mariana 2. It is heartbreaking that Ann start doubting it right there 3. The break up in the last episode should have been totally balanced by a more profound intimate scene than the carriage (I agree with u the whole children stuff in ep.8 was out of character) ..I really do hope there is a season 3!!

Hello! Thank you so much for the nice message, I’m happy you enjoy my blog.

1.

I agree with you but I want to elaborate a little bit more on this.

To me Anne saying “I love you” to Ann felt a bit off both times and I’m very conflicted about the intimate scene in 2x04. To be honest, Anne didn’t completely convince me there that she’s in love with Ann. I’m not sure what we are supposed to think – is Anne saying it because she realised she loves Ann? is Anne saying it because she feels guilty and is scared of losing Ann? is she saying it because she’s trying to convince herself that she does love Ann despite what just happened with Mariana? I honestly don’t know what we’re supposed to take from that scene – maybe all of those things are true? Anne loves Ann, sure, no doubt about that, the real question is if she’s in love with her or not.

I think this is an underling theme this season: the difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. This got subtly stressed quite a lot in different episodes and scenes – especially in episode 6, when Ann Walker asks Anne Lister if she was in love with Eliza Raine and Anne answers “I loved her, yes” and Ann says “In love?” – I think Sally tried to explore the different ways in which love manifests itself, it can take different forms and clearly the way Anne loves Ann is very different from the way she loves/loved Mariana or Tib or Eliza. In that same scene Ann asking “Is she [Eliza] another Mrs. Lawton or another Tib?” also tells us that she understands the different kind of relationship Anne had with those women – she understands that Anne was (maybe still is?) very much in love with Mariana and that Tib was the one who was completely in love with Anne. What about Eliza? And, really, what about her? What about Ann? Where does she stands in comparison to those other loves of Anne’s life? Is she another Mariana or another Tib? And she’s neither of them, she’s a whole new kind of love.

The relationship Anne has with Ann is a completely new thing and I think Anne doesn’t have the means yet to recognize that there’s a love there – reason why it feels off to me when she tries to express it by saying “I love you”. I think Anne’s love comes through from other things, to mention just a few: the way she cares about Ann’s health; how she continuosly checks in with Ann to be sure that what they’re doing is something Ann wants without doubts (from the division of the estate, to the wills); the fear she has of losing Ann; how she’s always willing to help Ann and be there for her even when things are looking bad for their relationship, even when Ann treats her kinda bad; how much she misses Ann when they’re not together; etc.

I personally found the scene of Anne coming back from Lawton more interesting. The “I missed you” felt very sincere and spontaneus and I believe that’s the real “I love you”. I loved the hug more than the sex scene – Anne completely lets go as soon as she’s in Ann’s arms – she realises there, I think, how much she wants and needs to have Ann Walker in her life. As I said in another post, Ann makes her feel safe and good. Even the way Anne looks at Ann in that whole scene says a lot, you can see both guilt and love in her eyes. In the next scene Anne tries to convey that love with words but I think she kinda fails.

2.

I think that that is not the first time Ann starts doubting Anne’s love. I think Ann Walker has had doubts from the beginning, she’s just not addressing them – for example, in the last Ann(e)s scene of 1x05 Ann tells Anne that even if she marries Mr. Ainsworth she will still lend her the money to sink her pit – that always made me think that deep down Ann Walker thinks that maybe Anne wants to be with her for other reasons other than love. We know how that went, Anne says that is not what she wants and of course the ending of season one made both Ann Walker and us really feel like Anne Lister did fall in love with her in the end, so that seemed settled. Season 2 starts with Ann Walker saying “I love you” to Anne at the end of ep 1 and in that scene I think she wanted to hear it back. Anne doesn’t answer. Then we have 2x03 where Anne says “I love you” for the first time and it’s clear that Ann doesn’t fully believe her but is choosing to not think about it too much. So, again, I feel like Ann Walker doubts about Anne’s love were already there from the very beginning, they just keep growing as the season progresses and everything comes out in the last episode (I honestly think the “is AL in love with AW” thing was actually resolved in season 1, but then Sally decided to retcon it to have more drama which... is a choice, I guess).

3.

I fully agree with you on this. Not much to add.

Thank you again for your message and yes let’s hope for a season 3!! :) have a nice day!

mermay just ended but i went down a brief rabbithole on IG of those fake silicone mermaid tailes that ppl wear for photoshoots or mermaid shows and stuff and i'm like...

ok but would TiB Bakugo find this atrocious and kind of morbid/weird or would he find it stupidly funny? plz give thoughts so i can get the image of a creepy Real Doll fake baby mermaid that people buy to cuddle with out of my brain

Masterlist

About me:

Hello everyone! I'm flimflam. If you're new, welcome! I use my tumbr account to post my fanart, fanfics and just random stuff about the games/anime I enjoy.

I mainly focus around the Ikemen series, but I also really enjoy MXTX, Obey Me, Mystic Messenger, Ensemble Stars and Genshin Impact.

For more info you can see my carrd profile: https://flimflam707.carrd.co/

Feel free to ask questions or dm me. :) I'm always very happy when people show that they enjoy my works, so feel free to leave a comment if you wish to.

English isn't my first language, so I apologise if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts. Feel free to call them out so I can fix them. :)

Much love, FlimFlam <3

My personal favs ❤️

Ieyasu (black and white) My love Yves Lumine A prayer to my God Liam and Elizabeth The ultimate astronomer

Fanfiction

Ikemen Vampire 🌹

Life as a vampire

Chapter 1: A new beginning

Ikemen oc vacation

The invitation

Ikemen Sengoku 🌌

Hekima masterlist

Obey Me 🐏

Detective Satan and assistant MC

Fanart

Ikemen Vampire 🌹

Vincent angst :( Napoleon for b-day Flustered Isaac Isaac b-day Sebas being a meme Luka Klein (IkeVamp OC) Ikemen oc vacation doodles A walk under the cherry trees Sleepwear ship dynamic (doodle)

Ikemen Revolution 🌖

Luka b-day 2023

Ikemen Sengoku 🌌

Ieyasu (colored) Ieyasu (black and white) Horsieyasu

Ikemen Prince ⚔️

My love Yves Yves Kloss Yves art trade (made by @velkya99 )

Mystic Messenger 📱

Best boy Ray

Obey Me 🐏

Self-aware Simeon Manga Luke The birth of a devil Demon OC

Twisted Wonderland 🪄

Azul & Ursula Riddle's b-day2022 Riddle's b-day 2023 Cursed Images

Ensemble Stars ✨

Wataru Kanata underwater 4piece debut!

Project Sekai 🎶

Emu Otori

Genshin Impact 🍃

Lumine Venti

Bungou stray dogs 🐯

PM Dazai Teruko

MXTX 🐇

WangXian Xie Lian Christmas card "Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel!" Mobei jun practice A prayer to my God Bingqui Hua Cheng hanahaki disease Hualian mural

Milgram 🔪

Fuuta Yuno

Other ❤️

Seir (Salvus Aries) OC Mitchy (XY) Fav jpop artists A thank-you-gift (SHY fanart) Junie cutie Misha art trade

Artfight

Vampire 2023 🦇

K Raphaël Miriam Matica Slumber St Pierre Tibs and Lucy Lou Liam and Elizabeth Two unnamed orcs The drag club The ultimate astronomer Seed Finn Chantilly

June 2022 Books

So much history this month. I’ll get it out of my system eventually.

The Hotel under the Sand by Kage Baker (reread)

I was reading a lot of heavy stuff and needed a break to read something relatively light-hearted and relaxing.

King of Scars and Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo

I have such mixed feelings about these books. King of Scars was the better of the two by far. Rule of Wolves, in addition to a lot of content I wasn’t crazy about, felt like Bardugo was cramming two, three, four books’ worth of plotlines into one book, and nothing got developed in any especially meaningful way. I enjoyed the further exploration of Nikolai’s and Zoya’s characters, but their arcs didn’t really pay off for me. Nikolai’s ending in particular resorted to a royalty trope I am very tired of. And I wish I had just skipped all of Nina’s chapters, which mostly didn’t tie in to the story as a whole and...well, I just really, really didn’t like her plot.

The Crows’ cameos were gratuitous, but I was amused to see that literally all it takes to motivate these boys to commit crimes is to tell them it’s for Inej.

Born to Rule: Five Reigning Consorts, Granddaughters of Queen Victoria by Julia P. Gelardi

Interesting information, not always the highest quality of writing (pick a name to refer to a historical figure by and stick with, instead of referring to someone by formal name, nickname, etc. all within the same paragraph--majorly confusing if you’re not familiar with these people).

Archer’s Goon by Diana Wynne Jones (reread)

This book is amazing. You’ve already seen/scrolled past my posts on it, so I won’t repeat myself.

The Seventh Cousin by Florence Laughlin

1960s children’s book picked up at a booksale. Not of those middle-grade books that hold up well for the adult reader.

Mornings on Horseback: The Story of an Extraordinary Family, a Vanished Way of Life, and the Unique Child Who Became Theodore Roosevelt by David McCullough

American history is not my specialty. Too much of it in school, and once I discovered English (and some additional European) history, with all the royalty drama, there was no going back. But since I’m writing a character in a pseudo-Edwardian world who has asthma, I have been curious about how the condition was treated and regarded in the late nineteenth/early twentieth centuries, and how historical asthmatics dealt with their illness. Which is how I ended up reading a biography of Theodore Roosevelt, who had asthma as a child (actually, for his whole life, but that wasn’t the image he preferred to project).

I’ve ranted elsewhere about McCullogh’s misinterpretation of the nature of asthma, which was typical of the understanding of his day, but it’s really got me thinking about how asthma has been interpreted over time, and why there’s this persistent idea that it’s psychological and manipulative. In addition, there’s the concept of muscular Christianity and attitudes toward disability/chronic illness that had a major effect on Roosevelt’s upbringing and self-image, and I have a lot to think about regarding how this connects to my OC.

(I do read history with the idea of stealing things for stories, but really, historical information is fascinating in its own right, and I love being able to bring my love for stories and for history together into something creative.)

Ena, Spain’s English Queen by Gerard Noel

I have so much sympathy for this woman.

Also I will never read Betsy and Tacy Go Over the Big Hill the same way again. There’s a chapter in that book in which Betsy, Tacy, and Tib develop a collective crush on the young King of Spain (and write him a letter, which even gets a reply from a royal secretary!). Ena was married to that particular king, and he was the worst. Betsy, Tacy, and Tib dodged a bullet there.

Victoria’s Daughters by Jerrold M. Packard

You probably witnessed my numerous tirades against a biased and sexist biographer. This is the one.

Heidi by Johanna Spyri (reread)

Read because I need to respond to a question about comparing this book to TSG. Still dragging my feet on that.

Father of the Bride by Edward Streeter

Picked up at a booksale. I’ve seen the 1991 film (but not the older adaptation), and I think I much prefer it to the book. The book has a lot of rather dated humor of the “women, amirite?” variety. It’s not just that weddings are being satirized, but women themselves tend to be viewed as ridiculous, controlling, etc. The 1991 film emphasizes the father-daughter bond, which gives its story the heart that makes it work; in the book, there’s much, much less of that, and the protagonist in general feels more resentful of his family than anything else.

The Camera and the Tsars: The Romanov Family in Photographs and Queen Victoria’s Family: A Century of Photographs 1840-1940 by Charlotte Zeepvat

No better way to immerse oneself in a historical setting than lots and lots of photographs. Great resources.

Romanov Autumn: Stories from the Last Century of Imperial Russia by Charlotte Zeepvat

While some chapters were more interesting than others, this was a fascinating book full of personal perspectives on the lives of Russian royalty from the reign of Nicholas I to Nicholas II.

Hiii! Just messaging you to tell you I'm SUCH a huge fan of your writing! I read Ashens on AO3 and absolutely loved it!! It inspired me to put own stuff out there <3

I'm so sorry about all of the shit you're dealing with with that person stealing your work. You're incredibly talented, and keep doing what you're doing!!!

Hey!!

Omg thank you so much! I’m so glad to hear you read it on AO3. And no way really? Ugh that makes me so happy that I made you want to put stuff out too. This is so sweet and I deff will be checking your stuff out, too. This made me so happy to hear. Again, thank you so much.

And yeah people are absolutely terrible. It’s as if it didn’t take me literally almost 3 years to write TIB or 2 to write Ashens. Literally hours of work and a lot of thought goes behind things content creators put out there, so many writers out there take hours and sleepless nights sometimes working on their work, and then for someone to just take it and say “here you go wrote this in ten min wasn’t hardly at all” is a straight up joke. Us writers knows this.

Glad to see we all stick up for each other. 🙏🏼

Ive been too busy to diary but. So far so good. Last week kinda flop bc I missed out on some important homework assignments which was embarrassing but I promise I’m gonna do better.

clinicals is also going good, I have 6 competencies signed off!!! Chest, Wrist, ankle, foot, hand, and tib fib. I’m still super fail at like doing things on my own but my log sheets I’m spending more time on and I’m trying to follow Tech E’s advice and be more diligent in the routine like sanitizing, gloving, etc. hopefully I don’t get chewed out more at my SVP…

hw I’m embarrassingly bad at studying as usual but I think it’s bc lecture sucks SO BAD. I usually just end up doodling at lecture instead of paying attention. I think tho bc working is hard at home I want to use my class time to actually do the workbook or hw stuff better…it’s all anatomy and fact things which usually I’m good at but unfortunately here, thinking you know isn’t as good as ACTUALLY being able to reproduce knowledge!!!!

food wise: I’m eating well! Happy to say I have NOT been eating out horrendously for almost a month now. I pack my lunches, I eat a lot of cabbage and beans (farty) and sweet potato. Last week I cooked up a bunch of chicken breast chunks so I use that in my meal prep with some curry and paprika. Trying hard to make things tasty so I’m not tempted to spend more money, the tough part tho is breakfasts/mornings—I love getting my matcha drinks and pastries at the shop as I rush to school or work.

Before session 3

Counseling or therapy

Sabi brief counseling lang for 2 sessions. Is it alright to continue or should i opt for long term kind

Difference between counseling and therapy

Conversations

My current friendships

Martina

Tibs

England

BUT! Before working on my conversation skills, i think, i have a more pressing problem that i need to address.

Fear of taking up space/being seen/low self esteem

I've cried about these past weeks. I feel like no matter what I do. I dont feel enough. I dont feel like I amount to anything. No matter how I strive to be a pretty, thin, academic achiever, and amiable. I still dont like myself. I dont think anyone can look at me and like me. I dont know why I believe that. I would never think about someone else like that.

I think it's unfair to myself to think of myself like that. Even tho the people around me changed, I've changed, circumstances have changed. I'll find myself in the same situations because I dont believe that I have any worth

When i was younger, my parents would be working most of the time. Id see them briefly in the mornings before they go to work. Sometimes, if I was still awake in the evening, I'd also see them. On the weekends too. So, naiwan kami with a distant relative. Siya nag luluto ng food namin, siya gigising ng maaga to help us get ready for school. She would even be the one to discipline us to study.

Idk but i would say that her methods were kinda barbarian. She would hit me and my siblings if we did something she didn't like. Like, a lot of things. I guess that's when I learned to value that stuff because I'd get punished if I didn't do well

So, in school, all I did was study. It became important for me. I was really stuck up. I thought that my way is the best way to do stuff. I found it hard to make friends because I need to go home agad. And I don't think I was pleasant to be around.

It's embarrassing, to be honest, for me, to acknowledge that all these experiences still influence me til today.

I'm so afraid of being seen and existing. It took me a while to get used to going to the gym by myself. At first, I couldn't even walk myself to enter the building. I would cry and be frustrated with myself. Until now, i still get nervous and hesitant doing my routine. I get used to it. It took me almost half a year. A lot of practice.

But I can't seem to do it with people i would be seeing everyday. People i would have more interaction with.

I don't think i have a lot to offer to the world and other people. So, I'm trying to debunk that. I signed up to be a volunteer for an advocacy I care about. I took up responsibilities sa department org namin. These days, I keep thinking that I don't rlly contribute anything much. I don't have great ideas or I don't know many people. But i think, I'll have to give myself credit when credit is due. Showing up is a contribution.

Ann Walker: I’m here for the lesbian stuff. 

Anne Lister and Tib Norcliffe: How did you find us? 

Ann Walker: I saw your ad on Craigslist.