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bertoyana · 17 days

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funniest thing to #Me about the use of charles' telepathy in charles' and erik's relationship in the prequels is how both of them suck SOOO bad at using it LMAOOOO

like, you'd think having a telepath in the dynamic would actually help things along with the communication, but they are both USELESS at making use of it

charles will use it to crossdress erik and tell angel how much he wants to fuck him and erik will use it to tell charles how much he wants to be controlled, but that's ALL they use it for. it's not even horny or funny anymore it's just SAD, man. they suck so bad at it

(the only time they ever make good use of it is when charles unburied one of erik's memories with his mother, and that's it)

erik just automatically assumes charles knows everything and that he knows WHY erik does the things he does (because charles is in his head, so he MUST know, right?) and charles automatically assumes erik understands the hidden meaning of every single thing he says (because erik is also in charles' thoughts, so he SHOULD know, right?)

(wrong. they are both stupid and they will keep going in circles for 30 years straight)

like. take their first interaction in xma as an example

(on the other hand, i don't even want to think about the "you are looking in the wrong place" line because it makes me want to k1ll myself in front of the writers)

they are in each other's heads right now, and yet they are not even LISTENING to each other, they are just going in circles because both of them are too wrapped up in erik's own grief to actively try to hear what the other is trying to say. and while you can tell charles is hurting for erik and wants to help him, he's probably not going about it the best way

also if you pay attention at the start of the scene, when erik feels charles in his mind he just... looks confused, curious maybe, as to why charles is there, but he doesn't get angry or defensive straight away. he just lost his family for the second time (simon kimberg i'm in your walls) so he's probably even welcoming the only familiar thing he still has left.

he doesn't get defensive UNTIL charles starts talking and just kind of... also starts putting his own foot into his mouth. bless his heart.

and the thing is, while they get interrupted by apocalypse... being there lmao, i don't think this would have pan out any different if it was just the two of them. as i said, they are not listening to each other. charles means well but he's not really listening to what erik is trying to tell him, and in response to this erik is rejecting any type of help charles wants to give him.

and we know apocalypse was using erik's grief (about magda and nina, about the camps) to manipulate him - *we* as an audience know that, but back in this scene, charles doesn't even NOTICE apocalypse. and this, plus the fact that as we've established, they SUCK at trying to listen to each other and communicate, just brings the entire thing to failure.

(also imagine being the most powerful telepath in the world and being too focused on your best friend to notice the god standing a few steps away from him... which could mean nothing)

(mind you. they are literally in each other's heads rn. they can hear what the other is thinking and feeling. AND YET)

and it's even funnier (no) how they are even WORSE without charles' telepathy. take as an example, both of their fights in the plane in dofp

from charles' point of view, erik was the one that left him. erik literally and physically LEFT him in cuba, took the only teleporter there was and left charles to bleed out (lmao). meanwhile, from erik's point of view, he might have left first physically, but he only did so after charles rejected him. so, from HIS point of view, charles was the one to pull away FIRST. when he told him they didn't want the same thing (rejecting erik's ideals and by thus rejecting erik himself as well)

(and charles also let erik to rot in prison for 10 years so he could be also referring to that lmao)

this also brings me to my other point. which is something that i do think is pretty much ignored by everyone, but to be fair, it's also ignored by the movie so,

and it's the fact that the movie establishes that erik has been isolated for 10 YEARS. again, we as the audience know that charles has been struggling for the past 11 years, we know he did all he could for the mutants and we know he's been struggling, and we also know he's been using the serum because he couldn't stand the voices.

mind you, erik doesn't know any of this. not only because he's been in prison for 10 years (and i doubt they let him keep up with the news) but also because charles doesn't tell him any of this (fair)

and the last thing erik said to charles before they parted ways in cuba was that they wanted the same thing, which charles denied.

so from erik's point of view, all that he knows is that charles promised him all those years ago that he wasn't alone, and then he rejected erik in cuba, sent him away, and then proceeded to give up on erik and on their cause by doing nothing when the mutants were being tortured and experimented on. and he started using the serum and living with hank like a normal human being, sacrificing his powers and 'betraying' their cause.

ofc none of this is what actually happened, and *we* know that. but erik doesn't. and for some reason??? that i find extremely hilarious??? no one ever BOTHERS to correct erik's assumption, lmao. also none of this ever comes up again in the movies which to me just means erik went on believing that charles just briefly gave up on their cause for 10 years LMAOOO

okay, moving on bc i still have things to yap about

the other plane scenes comes in. erik shows up with the chessboard, they actually DO talk a bit and erik tells him he didn't mean to kill jfk (can't believe i wrote that down these movies were insane) and then they settle to play chess. AAAND this scene comes in

and he apologizes for SHOOTING charles, because he never meant to hurt him, and he does regret that. but he's not apologizing for leaving, because, once again, from his point of view, charles left HIM

and then charles hits him with the most pathetic saddest wettest expectant look in existence (james mcavoy you are insane) because he thinks erik is going to apologize for leaving

and then erik hits him with this LMAOOO

and charles realizes erik is apologizing for shooting him (something i'm pretty sure charles didn't exactly blame him for? his biggest accusation was that erik abandoned him)

and you can see charles literally and figuratively backtracking and shutting down immediately AGAIN.

(because, again, charles thinks erik left him, and erik should apologize for that, but from erik's pov? charles rejected him, he pulled away FIRST so he wasn't the first to abandon the other. charles was)

(they both are wrong and right in a way. they also don't tell each other any of this)

then it's erik's turn to give charles the wettest and saddest look known in mankind, charles shuts down, refuses to even look at erik, he changes topics and erik lets him.

(they never talk about this again, btw)

(it probably blew up in their faces in genosha. i just know they make everyone's life miserable as hell in there . god bless)

anyways, i'm sure someone smarter than me could make a more interesting analysis of how you can tell they do genuinely care about each other, but their failing to communicate properly just brings them to their fall down over and over. especially because it's something that keeps blowing up in their faces all the time in the prequels. something something the failure of telepathy something.

#tbf to erik charles DID tell him he knew everything abt him in xmfc so you cant blame a man for taking things literal #cherik #x-men #long post #meta #text #otp: i want you by my side #erik lehnsherr #charles xavier #since ppl liked me yapping abt them in dp i thought i should post this that has been sitting on my drafts forever #yapping*

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abrahamvanhelsings · 2 months

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crozier being kidnapped and telling goodsir not to worry because edward will be there on the morrow, completely sure of it, like it's inevitable. edward in fact immediately going to rally the men to get crozier back and finding they held a vote without him and it's been decided they'll leave without crozier (and without the sick). edward having the choice between being left alone with no chance at crozier's rescue or his own survival, or taking up his duty and leading the men onward. crozier in hickey's camp believing in edward's sense of loyalty and edward not showing up, not knowing how edward fought for him. crozier showing up at the final camp seeing edward mutilated but alive like he told him to, only to die. thinking about edward's absolute sense of loyalty to his captain and duty towards the men tearing him apart and it never saves anyone

#crozier thinking edward left him behind kills me #out there with jopson dying thinking crozier left him behind. things that will haunt me forever #the terror #was having lunch with colleagues (media scholars) who were discussing oscar nominated films #but i was silent for the whole of it bc i was sitting there like *autism creature* <- full of terror thoughts #imagine watching anything else. lmao. not me for the coming three months at the very least #im about to write another post abt edward's loyalty to crozier and how that's both a strength and a flaw in fact #also thinking abt le vesconte holding that vote bc like... w/o crozier edward is ranking #like the hierarchy is in shambles but the vestiges of it are still there #something so insidious abt making sure the men are united in their decision against edward bc dundy Knows what edward would want #and it isn't to leave. so he takes away the option entirely #im not saying this is completely evil. dundy is also acting in a way that he thinks will save the most men (i.e. cutting out the weak links #and not embarking on some desperate rescue mission #but it is so underhanded still #edward little

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snoopybutch · 1 year

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This just in folks: being a fat, loud, and opinionated butch lesbian is recommended by medical professionals the world over.

#diarmuid makes a post #butch #lesbian #this is random but I thought it was fun #opinionated lesbians let’s meet up and talk abt movies 🖤❤️‍🔥#also just in case. my opinions are the importance of human rights and my thoughts on practical effects don’t put words in my mouth #daily life of diarmuid #butch lesbian #fat butch #idk it’s like the perfect way to be. like yeah man. that’s me!!!!#sillyposting #autism forever

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collectivecloseness · 3 months

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(Nsfw) ok but do u have a hc at all on who’s better at going down on a lady, Steve Harrington or Eddie Munson?

Okay but I absolutely do for sure and I have thought this for the longest time.

(Cw: 18+)

Steve I think didn’t even know that was a thing at first, back in his king Steve days. He was all about missionary, or blowjobs, or other more common stuff he’d hear about, not that he was a selfish lover or anything. Sure he’d touch girls down there, of course he would, but the clit? Who knows where that is, he’d trust they’ll say/moan something if he finds it. Not to say he doesn’t learn though.

Absolutely not. As Steve becomes a better person, but also gains more experience, he hears about this for the first time and he wants the girls he’s with to feel happy and enjoy it and make sure they cum as well (not faking it which he’s trying to distinguish for sure now) but at least feeling safe and enjoying it. It is important to him that his partners are enjoying everything just as much as he is, even very early on before he’d learned more. As long as they’re happy, satisfied, and safe, Steve can end it happy as well.

But Steve’s knowledge comes in at a pretty normal time for a guy in Hawkins in the 80’s, and he’s definitely a lot a lot more willing to try it. Firstly asking a girl he trusts how to do it, then he found a book he could get without anyone recognising him, to read and keep hidden deep under his bed. As well as as time goes on, checking out some more tapes from the back adults only section of Family Video, so he can check what it’s ‘supposed’ to be like from other angles, not just when he’s looking up buried between thighs.

So at first, probably until he gets a long term partner who will work him though it, rather than a quick hookup, which they at least leave highly satisfied from and will tell other girls considering a date with the previous king of Hawkins High that it’s definitely worth a shot, at first Steve’s techniques are more just that; techniques. Things he’s read about and heard, like tongue here there diagonal short then fast, or the alphabet method, or following step by step something from his book that could be misconstrued as a ddr pattern or something.

Mostly Steve’s very focused on doing it right, and that is for the pleasure of his partners. But he does have to be taught by a girl he trusts where the clit exactly is at first, or more so, how to know if he’s touching it correctly. Shocked that it ranges from about 60-80% of sex without using the clitoris doesn’t end in orgasm for girls (although in Steve’s defence, that stat is much much lower with him, again, an unselfish lover even in the beginning, and also, he’s still Steve Harrington). He’s still a bit flustered trying to figure things out without being gentlemanly vague, but Steve really does care about your experience a lot.

And if you’re his partner, damn. Steve becomes such a good boy trying to ask you every single time he’s down there if what he’s doing is right, if you’re still okay, if he should change up, if he’s hurting you, if you finished, if you can handle round four - because holy shit girls can handle a lot more than even big boy Steve Harrington thought. He’s genuinely very considerate and sweet, caring a lot about your experience, and he will shut up and just get on with it and try and listen to your body, because he doesn’t want to stop if you’re feeling good; you go through some ideas with him, like thigh tapping signals.

But Steve will totter to you and ask you with his hand out if you two can go practice again, pretty please?

Steve may not have been the best student in high school, but he definitely wants to do some research in this field, and he is more than happy to perform some experiments. It’s called growing <3. He won’t ask you too much, and he won’t bother you with it, but he will come ask you in very sweet ways, like laying his head on your lap, or getting on his knees, or sucking into your neck just the same way he does your cunt. Or if you two are beginning to have sex, he’ll ask if you’d like him to do that first. And then he might want to do it afterwards as well. Especially if you would like to go for another round (Steve is not a one and done guy). Again, he’s learning all about the female body and experience so much :)

Steve is also... big. So it definitely does help, if he’s getting on his knees or tummy before you two make love <3. Although to be honest, not that you need it much anyway considering Steve gets you wet so easily. You remember Steve playing with your hair and whispering sweet nothings to you, before making out for a while, when you two decided to go to the bedroom. And when Steve undressed you, like a gentleman, and went to add more foreplay, and saw how soaked you were, he actually fucking laughed, like an adorable loving dork, and said out loud “Wow.” To be honest, it only helped you want him more.

Then again Steve eating you out after he’s cum in you slightly works against his breeding kink, although it’s not too much of an issue because Steve still throughly enjoys it. He also likes being able to be a little messy and dirty and free with you, and he also likes cleaning you up and helping you out once again, it works in so many ways to be honest. Not to mention the obvious, Steve likes going down on you, he wants to do it again, and also doing so after you two had made love was kinda hot. One time he had tears in his sweet brown eyes while licking out his cum, which took a minute to get to because Steve had fucked it deep in you, but when you promised he could fill you up again after he finished cleaning you up here, because he’d been so lovely today, you swear you saw his heart burst, just from the sparkles in his caramel eyes.

You’re definitely expanding Steve to lots of new intimate and interesting things to do with sex. Not that he was boring beforehand, but he didn’t want to risk going with something he wasn’t sure if he wasn’t good at, and he didn’t really get into another relationship until you, or really trust the other enough to be vulnerable and think within himself about his own explorations. He didn’t really think or get to physically explore about himself too much until you really. And you definitely helped him feel more open to do some introspection on himself, even at some surface level stuff to do with vulnerabilities and sex/love making things.

Steve does however figure this out very early days, probably with Nancy because he did love her, but it’s not something he really let himself indulge in or mind wonder about, until you. And that’s the fact he loves sucking on some boobies <3. Actually makes him feel incredibly calm and happy and like he can just shut down from being big protector Harrington, and just be Stevie in love and being taken care of, by taking care of.

Absolutely loves just settling his head down and softly holding you and mouthing around your boobs with the comfort of knowing that’s all he’s got to do right now, and it’s making you happy too. So to realise he can suck on something else of yours? That tastes of you even more, and makes you extremely happy too? Steve can bob those lovely cheeks around three different things and not accidentally overstimulate you, and really let his mind soften into loving and affectionate time with you, his love <333

Steve is a good guy and he is learning a lot. Happily doing so, he wants to be a good enough person for you, but also, hell yeah Steve Harrington is loving this too! Why don’t all guys like eating out their girlfriends?

Eddie is bouncing off all four walls if he doesn’t eat pussy soon.

Actually one of the first things he wants to do sexually. Yeah the first time he has sex he’s trying not to cream his pants but he’s also so desperate to please. But also to taste... to experience all that loveliness. The first time he does it it’s not only to please, but to try and prove he’s good, he likes them, to try and make himself good enough so they don’t leave, but he very quickly realises they all will. Well until you that is. Although Eddie Munson does go through a little bit of a slutty era before that - I mean, he was doomed by having that slutty, slutty waist.

After the first girl or two it’s mostly about pleasing his lovely lady acquaintances. But also a little bit of pride knowing their jock boy toys will never be as good as him, and those girls will know it, and never be able to feel the same with them after. He hopes it frees his good old friends, get them some real partners. And yeah, to give them one hell of a lifetime ride.

The all encompassing warmth and smell and taste and sounds and feel of you is something Eddie craves constantly. It’s like his safe place. That and it really helps with his oral fixation. And the man is obsessed. He will not be leaving you for hours. He’s biting all up your arm, big chomps over and over, beforehand, licking at you randomly, pretending he’s so sweet to kiss your cheek but actually poking it with the tip of his tongue. These aren’t even always precursors to Eddie’s meal of the day, he is just like that.

He wants to bury himself there and breathe you only. Why should Eddie care about o2 or whatever that bitches name is, they didn’t help him pass chemistry. The only chemistry Eddie cares about is between you and him... You push his face away in retaliation at that awful flirting. But Eddie is pouncing right back, laugh roaring, and biting down over your pelvis, which gets you to push him away again, this time with a laughing shriek. He’s just eager, he won’t bite where it hurts, but like, if you’re gonna be running your hands through his hair as you’re calling his name, he’s going to surprise lick your fingers occasionally. Or bite. Maybe suck on something a little. Your thighs and boobs are constantly getting apology smooches for Eddie being very bad and biting down on them.

He wants to live smothered in your love for him, the physical show all around him that you love him right now and are not leaving and he’s making you feel good in this moment, but also it’s you, encompassing him. Everything about you is safety and security and love for him. It’s another reason Eddie will absolutely bury his face in your boobies too </3

And when you finally let him indulge his oral fixation down there, three hours later - with breaks and water and checking in on you in between - his arms are wrapped around your thighs and he’s scooching forwards as you pull your legs, and therefore him, up the bed, with the biggest and ‘wettest’ pout on his face, begging you he just needs to be in there for a little more time. Please say you can go another round? He’s desperate. He’ll do anything baby, he just wants to worship you some more.

Eddie sometimes headbutts face first into your boobs and swears he will starve without tasting your pretty pussy. You’re more worried he’s going to fucking drown.

Eddie will happily get smothered to death though if it means drinking everything up. One of the only times you saw Eddie frown in bed (or anywhere you two were fucking) was when you were sitting on his face, and kept pulling back because you were worried you would hurt him. Eddie was stubbornly telling you that he could take it, you were fine, and you were wrong; and you swear he was going to use your body as an unwilling weapon to kill himself, because he was pulling you back down on his face so determinedly, you weren’t sure you could move from his grip pulling you down if you even wanted - you definitely did not want. Not when it was Eddie fucking Munson whose face you were riding.

Another excellent point in his favour, Eddie is wild. Very passionate. Extremely intuitive and very well versed/knowledgable. So he’s a god at eating out.

Changes up nearly every single time because he knows how to go with the flow and read you so well. It’s not just experience or anything Eddie is very well tuned to what you like and don’t, and he can pick up on you easily. Eating out just comes so so naturally to him it’s insane. And the fact he just goes ballistic down on you, absolutely feral for you, makes things even more sensational. He’ll eat you out in every which way possible. Staring up at you with those big fucking dark brown eyes. Those pretty thick lips glistening and swollen.

And when looking into his deep doe eyes is what makes you finally cum over his tongue, Eddie is chuckling breathily in that sweet voice into your cunt, and you’re cumming harder. The noises he makes too, little hums he doesn’t even know he’s sounding, he’s just enjoying himself that much, the sloppy eager sounds as he laps and sucks and kisses and eats at you, and then the fucking moans and swears and whines and groans and whimpers, and all the sweet suave words he tells you each time. When they’re sounded while his mouth is around you, the vibrations make you go crazy, something Eddie absolutely knows.

One time he winked to you after his laugh into your crotch made your eyes roll into your skull, and when he sweetly batted his eyelashes into your sensitive nipped thighs, just to make you feel even more, he really got his hair knotted into, and tugged further into your ‘embrace’.

Eddie will use any part of his face, ride his nose, or he’ll nuzzle it, tickling your thighs or belly with his eyelashes, scraping his teeth down them, using his lips to kiss and suck and mouth and vibrate on you, not to mention whatever ungodly power was given to Eddie’s tongue. Holy fuck Eddie’s tongue must have been blessed or something. His whole face is rubbing against you, he’s utilising it all, and Eddie wants his face covered in your cum, to the point it’s streaming down his neck and dripping onto his chest tattoo <3

And he’ll leave sessions having not had you take care of him once, all he wanted to do was go down on you. Get that taste, and make you feel so good. It makes him feel good too, even if not in that way, it just really does. Sometimes eating you out for a while is really all Eddie wants. Either for as long as he can get, or even a quick session before one of you has to go. He once joked that even with his life, it was the only addiction he has. Although you swear you watch him go through withdrawal. You’d say kinda regularly actually, but you two are going at it enough it doesn’t get to be too much of a problem <3.

It surprised you a little when you first dated him, that sometimes Eddie would ask you if you two could do that, and then that’s all that’d happen, unless you initiated further. When Eddie said that that shouldn’t be surprising, goddamn he did make you fall for him even more. You tell him he has a blessed tongue in many ways, although Eddie is very aware of that.

Sometimes sure he’ll rub one or multiple out under you, or buck against his mattress as he does so. One time even using your leg, because you were stood at the bathroom sink and he just had to have a taste of you before he could sleep. Trust me, eating you out is well more than enough to get Eddie Munson off. Sometimes all Eddie is focused on is pussy and he’s absolutely enjoying himself extremely, being touched himself or not. After all, he is getting to do one of his favourite all time things with you.

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starheirxero · 4 months

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After revisiting your "came back wrong" comic, absolutely wonderful btw, I came to a rather haunting realization.

Because it became true. But instead of Bloodmoon, it's Eclipse. And that's both much worse(for the characters), and much better(for the narrative).

Because both him and Lunar went through the same, and in a way seem to parallel each other, though that's probably me overthinking.

Both of them died. Both of them were blown to smithereens. Both of them came back after several months. Both found themselves in a body not their own. We've seen what they look like in every other universe.

Both of them came back wrong.

Lunar came back numb, quieter than before, with all their energy being a play. He came back running from unknown danger. They died a normal animatronic, and came back being more.

Eclipse is the opposite. He came back louder, erratic, full of madness. Where Lunar is running from unknown danger, he is sprinting towards it, not realizing the consequences until it's to late. Not to forget the star. Eclipse died being somewhat of a god, and came back as nothing more than a plaything, a puppet on a string.

In a twist of fate, they can relate best to each other now, and that might be the worst part for both of them.

Because what is there to do? Even though they understand, even though, one day, they might glance at each other and wonder "Do you feel the same?", they will never be able to confide in each other. Their relationship is beyond repair, and for good reason. Eclipse hurt Lunar, used and ab*sed him, and then blew him up.

This also opens up so much emotional baggage. What will Lunar think? Will he wonder "Do you regret what you did now, knowing how it felt?" Will a part of him feel the smallest bit of satisfaction? Will they ever be able to look at him at all, or will they forever hide away?

What about Eclipse? Will he feel guilty? He seems aware of the damage he has caused the celestial twins, even telling Ruin that he deserves what's coming for him, but he still showed no remorse when he talked to them.

I'm sorry this got so long, I am incredibly emotional about this right now, and I can't even begin to describe, how this makes me feel-

ANON OH MY GHOD /POS

DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST FUCJING BRAIN EVER. DID YOU KNOW YOU'VE CONNECTED THE MOST PERFECT DOTS KNOWN TO MAN. HOLY SHIT.

LUNAR CAME BACK AS MORE AND ECLIPSE CAME BACK AS LESS BUT BOTH CAME BACK WRONG AAIAUAUAYAGAGGGHHHHHH

#asks #anon #other's thoughts and rambles #THIS IS LITERALLY #I'M . OH MY /GHOD./ I CAN'T EVEN LIKE STRING TOGETHER A COHERENT SENTENCE TO TRULY EXPRESS HOW MUCH I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE #UR LIKE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ON THE PARALLELS BETWEEN THEM OMG. I WAS ACTUALLY LITERALLY TALKING ABT SMTH KINDA SIMILAR 2 MY FRIENDS ABOUT HOW #-ECLIPSE IS PROBABLY TAKING LIFE SO BADLY RN BC—JUST LIKE LUNAR—HE ACTUALLY /REMEMBERS/ DEATH #HE HAS EXPERIENCED LUNAR'S 'DIED AND CAME BACK' SITUATION FOR HIMSELF AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THAT #AOOUUGGGGGHHHHH #/AND UR POINT ABOUT HOW SIMILAR THEY ARE NOW BUT HOW MUCH THEYD HATE THAT/ UUGGGHHHAAAAAAAA #i'm gunna DIEEEE anon your mind is huge. holy shit. oh my ghod #if the world was a kinder place then they would have been closer than ever bc of this but instead they have never been farther apart :((((#absolutely insane and git wrenching ramble anon ily forever.....#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #sams lunar #sams eclipse #lunar #eclipse #long post

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aquickstart · 5 months

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ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.

another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!

farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.

but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.

but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.

but the important thing is this.

farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.

farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.

the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.

as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.

but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.

and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.

to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).

to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.

and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?

but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.

the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.

so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.

#saltburn #farleigh start #i think someone mentioned how the race commentary was fleeting in that scene abt his mom but i disagree #it runs thru the whole movie #because oliver is white and because they're pitted against each other #im not saying its the best commentary ever and also like the movie is not about it at all #but it's there and it's pretty prominent #also on a completely different note can we talk about how oliver correctly assumed everyone at saltburn desires him carnally #dude pulled all the bitches by being strange and off-putting. i mean i completely get it. completely get it. i'd fold so fast you've no ide #also while i was writing i realized that yes indeed both farleigh and oliver perform for felix and its so fascinating #and it works for oliver because of course it does because hes white #anyway! again! let me know if this sucks #in like any way at all #i needed a masterpost of all and every thought i have about farleigh #i think this pretty much covers it so i'll let it go now #HES SO. like do you UNDERSTAND #the DEFINITION of doomed by the narrative but i LOVE that he survives #as he SHOULD #emerald is so right. he does come back and quickstart just torture each other in that house forever. besties for life #god im gonna shut up now this is so horrendously long #mine #saltburn journaling

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qualityrain · 1 month

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my hny reading experience

#i truly thought it would be a silly fun time and nothing more!!!!! i was here expecting toxicity and the fun of it #AND THEN GENUINE SINCERE FEELINGS????????????????#no way….(brain chemistry changed forever)#firefly wedding #hotaru no yomeiri #claude txt #theres So Much more but. yk. the gist of it #i throw up so hard abt how acceptance connects them both #that hny inspired song. one of the lyrics being”is it bad to seek a utopia where i can be true to myself”#google translated ofc but FCUCUCCKKKKK

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hannibal-is-my-comfort-show · 8 months

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Thinking abt how Will and Hannibal are like that old myth where you can cure a werewolf by calling it by its Christian name, making it remember that their true self is human. Except, with them, Hannibal saw Will for who he truly was, allowing him to become the monster he was on the inside.

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 7 days

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if 9&10 were "dont wander off", and 11&12 were "the doctor lies", 13s rule #1 is "dont question me"

"have we not had a good time together" shes pointing yaz to the rule that yaz very well knows is there: we can travel if you dont ask me any difficult questions. yaz knows this is the rule - "because you ask too many questions", "this team structure isnt flat" - but she also was the one to invite the doctor into her home so im pretty sure she also knows shes not gonna kicked out that easily. she has some leeway. which she has been using between revolution and flux, which is why the doctor reminds her of the rules

i dont think she'd kick her out though. she wouldnt. i think it's just that the more you break the rule, the more unpleasant she becomes to be around, and eventually youre gonna walk out on your own. she doesnt want you to, she'd rather you stay and dont ask questions. but if youre gonna try to ask questions anyway, i think thats whats gonna happen

and yaz must think so too. because she does back off. because she doesnt want that to happen either. and it does anyway

#dont question me/dont challenge me. questions are the sore spot but the challenge is one she says explicitly once #because you see this in how she is with other people too. dont try her patience. dont act like shes smaller. dont challenge her or Die #based on the giggle - 'i thought i was clever' 'what do i say?! because im always sooo certain' - i dont think 14 is like this #also based on the expressions of affection #hes not that......reactive. to this. specific thing #so i wonder if it runs over to 15 #he seems chill. i think? he seems fairly chill. but also i think we've so far only seen him mostly in control of things #faced with the maestro temporarily not entirely in control hes Notably Less Chill #but still bigger picture. hes mostly in control of things right now i think #or uhhhh based on how eager he seems to get out of the role of doctor #hmmmmm #13 didnt want it but like. was stuck with it i think #didnt want it but nobody else was gonna do it. thats why 12 regenerated #15 comes out 14 Literally Quitting #he doesnt want it and hes decided hes not stuck with it. maybe #none of this is true btw im just saying words recreationally #like those 13 moments are super cherrypicked and i havent rewatched in forever so #dont believe me gfkjghgjh #this is based more on how i write them than what ive seen basically #anyway in terms of 14/yaz i think it takes yaz a while to figure out how to deal with 14 Not being like this #bc she got soooo practiced at handling 13. most of which was abt like not tripping this rule too much #she'd keep it up with 14 and he'd just do stuff that like breaks the rule from his side and yaz wouldnt have any idea how to deal with it #he'd show her hes chilled out a bit. about this. over and over and it'd still take her moooooonthssssssss to start relaxing #just muscle memory at this point. doesnt help that shes also like this #i wonder if 14 - in a sort of compelte reversal - wants to be told what to do and how to do and #seeks out situations where someone else knows more than him so he can sit down and say 'teach me'#i think thats what he does. about all the human stuff. hes like teach me. all of it. show me how to do this

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ardentpoop · 2 months

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bullshit, man - come on, it’s fucking nothing. stop. no, no, no - it’s fuck-all, man, it’s bits of… glue and broken shows, fuckin’… phony news, fucking… come on. oh my god, man, it’s nothing, okay? it’s just nothing, it’s fucking nothing, stop it! yeah. hey! we are bullshit. we are bullshit. you are bullshit - you’re fucking bullshit, man. I’m fucking bullshit, she’s bullshit - it’s all fucking nothing, man. I’m telling you this because I - I know it, okay? we’re nothing. okay. okay.

#favorite forever #succession #I thought abt ‘it’s bits of glue and broken shows’ so often while I was writing

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toldentops · 4 months

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talk about kinoga. NOW.

GAH I JUST THINK THEY ARE SO............. well first of all. they are so cute and handsome. look at them right now

Second of all I have one million feelings about them and it's barely an exaggeration. For those who aren't familiar, Kinoga is one of my beloved splatoon ocs and I think about them all the time. Originally made when I tossed a "what-if" idea about Trito, my first splatoon oc, who was once part of the octarian military, if he runs into one of the old squad members on the surface, and Kinoga was born with the help of @igneouskit. Brainworms ensue. its terminal. check out their toyhouse

(extremely brief rundown for those unfamiliar with splatoon lore the relevant bits are as follows: some octolings are part of a military that were forced underground after a war with the Inklings over land due to rising seas. At some point during the plot, the song Calamari Inkantation is sung by the two idols, which is apparently imbued in the DNA of all creatures and compels octolings to see the surface. In the splatoon 2 DLC, octo expansion, some octolings are recruited by a shady company called Kamabo Co, which entices participants to enroll in tests through a deep sea metro, and offers the "promised land" as a reward. Completing the tests entails collecting parts of a blender, and the "reward" is getting blended into sludge. This sludge can get injected into other octos which causes them to lose their will and consciousness ("sanitization").

timeline-wise much of their story takes place between splat 2, through octo expansion, and is currently in the splat 3 era. When they were still in the military, they ended up hearing the Calamari Inkantation like Agent 8 did. Kinoga and their squad were incredibly close to each other. Unwilling to just up and leave the underground but wanting to give their squadmates a better life, Kinoga hears about Kamabo's "promised land" and wants to seek it out, so they leave the squad to embark on the metros and promises to return. They do not <3 Some of the tests make them encounter sanitized octolings and they begin to question what's really happening in the metros. Their tipping point is when they run into Agara, one of their squadmates that decided to enter the metros to look for Kinoga and ends up being sanitized. Kinoga, facing the crushing realization that their squadmates had followed them, unaware of the danger, narrowly escapes being killed by Agara and eventually makes it to the surface.

This results in them experiencing a good amount of crushing guilt about leaving, they never knew it would lead to the possibility of dooming their whole squad that followed after them because they were loved and trusted. Kinoga had no way of letting the rest of them know that they should turn back and it's so. AAUGH. They have no choice but to continue on, finding life on the surface and eventually making it to splatsville with the belief that the rest of the squad may be gone. Agara and Trito end up running through the metro, Agara gets sanitized and Trito survives, albeit without getting a nasty scar from an accident that nearly got him sanitized.

Trito makes me insane also. he's my funny silly rabbit. I care about him so so much. trito goes through the metros, to maybe catch up with kinoga or meet them at the promised land, trusting that it was worth leaving if Kinoga decided it was worth it for all of them too.

Trito, upon learning about The Horrors in the metro later, realizes what could have happened to Kinoga and Agara and is unwilling to return to the rest of the squad with this knowledge, struck by the possibility that they're both gone. <-also has to realize that these horrible things have been happening to all the octlings that left to go do the metro tests. He too, eventually escapes to the surface and makes it to Inkopolis.

Years later, Trito, on a day trip to Splatsville, encounters Kinoga on the streets, and they lock eyes. and. fuck. They thought they were dead and had dealt with the grief and accepting that they were gone, effectively pushing those thoughts aside, and now they're physically in front of each other and they have to deal with it again. they make me SICK. Kinoga knowing that trito went to the metros and followed them and made it out also. Trito knowing that Kinoga experienced the horrors as well and survived. Neither of them able to return to tell the rest of the squad but they're both here, alive on the surface and aarrghhhhhhh. now they have to cope with this. they hastily exchange contact information, having to leave each other again, and end up meeting later to really catch up.

I'm so normal about kinoga and their relationship to trito post-domes. They don't even realize that they miss each other so much because they accepted that they were already gone. Seeing how much the other had changed. Being each other's only tie to their previous lives and it dawns on them that they never can move on from this. Kinoga struggles to tell Trito that they couldn't bring themselves to go back, not knowing if they could escape a second time, not knowing if any of their teammates were still left, already dealing with occasional spurts of being wracked by grief. Trito feeling the same, wanting to forget the terrible things and find happiness on the surface, but disheartened when learning that Kinoga also couldn't bring themselves to go back to look (though now that the both of them are together.....they do eventually muster the courage to go back to the domes to look for their old squadmates). It like. sucks so bad. They didn't intend to abandon their squad, but they were given circumstances where they just could not, and none of the other squad members could have known and suffer for it. aarghhhhh.

They end up at Trito's place, Kinoga and Trito end up being very affectionate towards each other after reuniting, definitely Trito being clingier...Compelled to hold onto each other and not let go, not after feeling so much regret about leaving in the first place. It's like. they left once before and terrible things happened out of their control, so they're allowed to hold each other as close as they can so it doesn't happen again (THE DEMONS) (GRIPS). it's irrational for Trito especially to think that he'll never see Kinoga again when they have to leave, since they live in separate cities and have to go in the morning. and kinoga knows it's irrational and they do their best to comfort him anyways because. who could blame him for wanting to keep them there after being gone for so long and so unexpectedly. The slow, crushing experience of not fully registering that someone could be gone and it creeps up to them until it hits. auuuuugh. they have to be so tender with each other, not really knowing where to take things afterwards but relishing in the moment of having each other there. riding the high of each other's comfort. fuck. this post is just getting worse as it goes. Trito breaking down in Kinoga's arms because he's had to hold in his grief and having nowhere to put it and then finally being able to release it. just being able to feel Something again. kinoga feeling so heartbroken to see trito like this, remembering that he was always so outspoken and smiling and having him curled up against them unable to say anything. holding him as tightly as they can. Feeling the need to take good care of him. They aren't his squad leader anymore but they still feel compelled to look out for him because then they can feel like they're doing at least something right. whatever. you guys get the gist. I'm way too much of a sucker for like...............pained intimacy. I'm down terrible. I think both of them deserve a little kissy and more. again. very touchy and affectionate with each other, I guess theyre still like "friends" (A WARRIOR'S BOND. OR WHATEVER) and are not "together" like a couple but here are words from igneouskit who put it better then I could ever. they love each other so much and they make me blow up. worlds most situationship

and also one bit I forgot to mention is that Trito has a huge scar on his chest that he hates talking about, it just brings back the fear and pain felt when he got it, and by association reminds him that he's alone from his squad who may never see again, so he's very protective of it. Upon getting back to kinoga, they do find out about the scar accidentally, and Trito lets them. like auuuugh they were so familiar with each other and now get to see what's changed since the last time. exploring eachother's bodies. whatever

Kinoga also ends up feeling really guilty at some point for Trito being immediately so affectionate towards them, they harbor thoughts that they don’t deserve it after having him go through that pain, and trito having to tell them that he made his own decision, nobody was forcing him to go, and besides, did it to see kinoga and now that they’re right in front of him he can give him all the love he’s been holding for them. Auuughhhh. Like don’t worry about feeling guilty for it. It wasn’t their fault. What matters to him now is that they’re both alive and with each other. I feel like blowing up

Even after Kinoga goes back to splatsville the next day trito is still aches about them......like a few days of reunion could never be enough to compensate for the years that they spent apart. every time they meet up after that trito jumps in kinoga's arms and kiss them like it was the first time they'd reunited

anyways. they eventually go back down to the domes to find the others. By that time, Agent 8 had dismantled Kamabo, the Sludge shit was no longer in operation, and octolings have started going to the surface. Kanu, another squad member, left the domes to find Kinoga, Agara, and Trito(jilon was another squad member who left for reasons I haven't decided yet). Denchu, the last remaining member, stayed behind, holding on to the hope that the missing members would someday return (denchu is a whole other can of worms. theyre everything to me and I feel so terrible for them <3). Trito and kinoga meet denchu, they update them on everybody else, leaving agara unaccounted for. Kinoga, who was the only one to see Agara firsthand, knowing that she might be completely unsalvageable, hesitates to bring it up, but Trito insists on going to look for her. aughhh. kinoga wants to spare trito the pain of seeing her dead or unconscious. They do eventually find her </3

She is alive, but not doing well at all, Kinoga desperate to maybe find some way to undo sanitization and restore her to full health, knowing full well that it may not be possible. They take Agara back with them to the surface and Kinoga spends a lot of time agonizing again over having caused this, feeling that agara's state is somehow their fault (ITS NOTT they're beating themselves up so bad for this because they feel responsible for the squad. aughhh).

I think thats all I have for kinoga. for now. obviously there are more thoughts I can get into but currently my brain has just latched so hard on trito and kinoga's fun situation and I love them so much. didn't think I'd get attached to them this bad but here we are </3. I hope everyone who has read this far also enjoys them as much as I do

#THIS TOOK FOREVER TO TYPE. KEPT GGETTING SELF CONSCIOUS ABT HOW MUCH IVE ALREADY TYPED FOR THEM IN OTHER POSTS #my ocs #my art #trito #kinoga #splatoon #splatoon ocs #THEYRE SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I have been so crazy about them. so crazy. this post doesnt even encapsulate all my thoughts about them #basic arc(?) in chronological order and some thoughts also #cant even describe the like. aching. burning. thinking about kinoga #like I need to kiss them of course but (AGONIES) trito misses them so so much.#loves them so so much and has to deal with it when it floods him all at once during the first encounter #sorry if none of this is like. comprehensible #I've been so ill about them and trito for weeks #these thoguhts are usually for rotating them in discord servers but you all get to get blasted by them all at once #STRUGGLED so bad to write this out because every time I had a new thought I had to go lie down and think about it #anyways. anyways. care about them so much. what ever #its still mostly about trito since he's like my 'main' character but kinoga still gets roped into these feelins #also joked that if trito ever gets a partner itll be like #'this is my partner'#'and this is my friend kinoga who id die for and trust with my life and kiss on the mouth'#more realistically trito just loves all his friends as closely as he would a partner. he has so much love in his heart #blows up I just reread this I think I used ‘crushing’ as an adjective like 4 times. whatever

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