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#this song saved me ngl
aetherin21 · 1 year
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And with kindness leads to greatness
Patroclus is a kind man, written in between his words of doubt and low self esteem. The way he treats women he encounters with care and empathy speaks volumes then the words he utters.
His mother, everly so writtenly as meek and homely seemed to shine in his eyes as the sandy beaches of his home. As though, supposedly to dispise her from his father's lament. He remembers her simpleness like the warmth of the fading sky. Drifting and disappearing. But as the strings of her lyre, she is there only existing.
When Deidameia got pregnant with Achilles and learned that he will never ever love her, she was angry, disappointed and thrown away. She was promised of the boy and so she gave. And out of sheer destruction of a heart break, she agonizingly seeked comfort from Patroclus and demanded to lay with her so she could even by a small margin feel the soul of Achilles mending her broken heart. Cause as Patroclus quoted he is half of Achilles soul.
She's a victim in all of this as much as she tries to stand between the two lovers. And Patroclus understands this. Bedding her too but out of sympathy and kindness that she wanted to feel.
He was so human that when Briseis was turned into a prize of war, he urged his lover to take her and save her from being soiled by Agamemnon. He befriended her, clothed her, and taught her the way of the greeks. And as more prizes come, if by means possible, he wished for Achilles to take them from the humiliation to come.
In return for his selflessness, he was loved by the girl. Even offering him a child she could bare, knowing full well that she wont be the apple of his eye. But Patroclus could not dirty her like that. He knew she deserved better.
Thetis, on the other hand, had loathed him since the beginning. Yet she unknowingly seeked comfort from his memories of her lost child. Never to truly knowing the boy she had given birth to but only from the words of his lover. Patroclus was at her mercy, begging to reunite with his lover and yet instead of hating her even until death, he sang her Achilles' song.
And with the last hymns of his memory, she obliged writing his name beside her child's. The only motherly thing she had ever done.
Patroclus was the best of the Myrmidons for his sheer kindness alone. The cowardice that was bestowed by his true father was a lie but the name 'Patroclus' that meant glory of the father was true. Chiron is proud of his child. He honored him, using the knowledge he had bestowed and saved dozens of lives of hardened greek soldiers. Memorizing their names and each of their stories like his father did. Although, unlike them, he did not fight with swords and spears, he fought with his empathy in hand.
And the boy he had accidentally killed as a prince? It was not an act of cowardice of his confession, it was atonement. Acceptance of what he had done. Unlike those other kings and princes, he took the punishment as one should supposed to.
And that is why Achilles loved him. And that's why Achilles died when he did. Because he is the mortal half of his supposed to be godhood.
He is his other half, as the poet say.
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noirangel99 · 2 months
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this movie has completely taken over my life. everything I see, read, watch, and listen to has to somehow be related to this film. I was listening to "Always Forever" by Cults and went, "this song is so Creature and Lisa coded" and my sister looked at me like I grew an extra head HELP ME
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deus-ex-mona · 1 month
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Need inspiration for your current project but unable to find the right song to inspire your writing? Set your ENTIRE PHONE on shuffle and let the magic happen! You might end up with some nightcore music you saved back in 2015 that have somehow travelled via SD card to every new phone, get psychic backlash from your Hamilton/Dear Evan Hansen/Be More Chill phases, realize that some of the covers from Glee still SLAP even if the writing is still questionable, suddenly remember a tv show you haven't watched in years via a piece of the soundtrack you downloaded, or somehow end up listening to a Eurovision entry from the 2000s that barely scraped the finale but that you for some reason ADORE
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rewrite-canon · 3 months
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not margot robbie or greta gerwig but ken?????? not olivia rodrigo but ken??? gtfo
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mchiti · 1 year
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I just stopped listening to 1D song after zayn left(I’m sorry but I just can’t). To this day I haven’t seen the drag me down music video.
ikjhgs I get you sis!!!! cause it definitely didn't feel the same to me either! But I have to say as much as I joke and I downplay it, I just was so much invested you know...imagine the first time I saw them was in Milan in late 2011!! 2011!!! was like 13, my mama brought me loool. It was their first time ever in Italy, like some sort of a meeting event made by sony. And that's where I got my book signed loool. Then I was there in 2013 in Verona (thank you to my brother), saw them in San Siro in 2014 where they filmed the where we are concert thing. And I was 17 in their final active year in 2015 so I guess they took me company in all those weird and confusing teenage years? Ngl I would have gone see them in 2015 too, even after Zayn, but they didn't tour italy. I get it cause their last year was a bit weird and made in the a.m is probably the album I listened to much less, but I was still there buying it and such you know? Zayn was like my massive, biggest fan crush I ever had! We all had one and he was mine lol. but I was just...yeah I couldn't let them go I suppose? And i'm still very much affectionate ngl. I go like an entire year without checking up then I spend one week catching up on EVERYTHING. But I would say Drag me Down is definitely their weakest single and the spark was kind of gone at that point. The album is cute tho if you want to have a go at it. Walking in the wind is about zayn and it's a sweet one. but it's one song I avoid bc you know why would i do that to me
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legendofthe3divas · 9 months
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me core fr
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rosicheeks · 10 months
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oh yes you were at court! i forgot that was at the start of that post lmao. i've been to court twice when i was super young for drinking underage and then smoking lool it was so boring and long and shit but thankfully you were just there for moral support, i hope it wasen't such a bad thing your friend had to deal with! I remember seeing you post about moving but i forget if it was TO or AWAY from your parents but that clears it up. I totally get you on that though, i'm living at home right now and i feel kind of similar about not feeling comfortable in your own home. Its a bit different for me, but similar enough. Hell my stepdad even sleeps in the living room too! hes always done that so ive always felt like i had to be on eggshells when night time hit. I used to sneak smoking in the backyard back in the day myself, i got caught once when i was in highschool he made me throw all my pieces out which sucked big time. ahhh i love that, art! you should totally show more stuff on here too, at least if you're comfortable and its not stuff you'd wanna sell, i would absolutely love to see any of it 🖤i've dabbled in writing poems and things i planned to make songs, although only recently. I've always wanted to be a musician but my attempts at learning guitar over the years have never ended up lasting long and i try to learn singing but i just dont really think i can. plus i was always afraid of self expression so i never wrote until a few years ago. i still do, because music is so important to me (which is why i did pick 🎤!) and it makes me so happy but yeah. i have 2 shows im headed to in a few months even so im so excited 🥰my day though has been so boring, i mostly played video games and watched youtube videos. watched another episode of a show i've been watching called Silo, which i absolutely love. im so surprised you had room in your tags still after myself lmao, but i do that same thing i always talk in the tags! also i'm giving you tons of hugs and kisses 😘🥰 - 🎤
Hi hi hi ☺️ how are you doing lovely? 🥰
#I’ve actually never even been inside a court house or room (still haven’t since my friend didn’t even see a judge thankfully)#but it was interesting ngl walking in especially felt like I was at an airport lol#sorry to hear you had to deal with it twice :( I hope it all ended up ok!#also sorry that you understand the pain of not being comfy in your own home#it really really fucking sucks ngl#dude I would have been SO pissed if my parents made me throw out my pieces 😭😭😭 like 1 that’s my babies and 2 that’s fucking money!!!#lol I was caught in high school too once or twice (but I was a dumbass and smoked inside LMAO still can’t believe I did that????)#I still remember my mom walking in while I was spraying the room and I just fucking fell to the floor for some reason 😂😂#my moms friend was over and apparently told my mom ‘I’m getting high from the fumes’ and ughhhhhh I was so mad#it’s funny now cause wtf who says fumes????#show art like more of my Etsy paintings or my personal paintings?? honestly I don’t have thaaaat many personal paintings#I have one that is a tree that is probably my favorite and I have a few pour paints that I saved when I was first starting#if you’re ever comfortable and want to share a poem or two please feel free to send me them!! (lmk if you don’t want me to post it)#I’ve always been in awe of people who can write poetry or lyrics#I’ve wanted to write songs ever since I can remember tbh and I did back in high school#I had a few classes that I actually wrote songs in but it was just the instrumental - I could never figure out the lyrics#almost failed a class cause I couldn’t figure out the damn lyrics lol#trust me I totallyyyyy understand wanting to learn an instrument but it not *clicking* buuut I personally think singing is different#don’t get me on a rant about how I think it’s sad how most people don’t sing or do art because they aren’t ‘good’ at it#also singing is sooooooooo subjective (think that’s the right word lol) so I think anyone can sing if they want to#music is important to me too!! what type of music do you like to listen to?? like do you have a fav genre or even a fav artist/band rn?#2 shows??! like concert???? who are you going to see?! fuck I’m so jealous! I don’t even remember the last concert I’ve been to ☹️#I’ve never heard of silo but maybe I should check it out! I’ve been looking for a new show to watch ☺️#sorry it took me a lil bit to reply to this :(#my depression was hitting me HARD the past few days#I’m feeling a lil better now but still kinda funky#I’m dogsitting Wednesday-Sunday and I’m super duper excited for that!!! just gotta get to Wednesday ☺️#thank you for the hugs and kisses 🥺🥺🥺 they’re super appreciated 🤗#you’re amazing 🥺 I’m squeezing you and giving you the bigggggggggggest hug 🤗🤗🤗#🎤 anon
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jlf23tumble · 1 year
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fitf top 5?
Ooooh, love this! This is a slightly enhanced update to my totally unhinged rundown to @28whitepeonies last night, in no particular order (well, track order, I suppose):
Written All Over Your Face = FUCKING GENIUS, a rechanneling of Alex Turner (which, DIFFICULT), AMs at their finest, plus I love the lil hint of JT ("dirty babbbbbbbbbbe") (12//10)
Lucky Again = godddd, I love this song, it's the rare one here that's neither AMs or Oasis, it actually gives me some Smashing Pumpkins 1979 vibes?? Something something '90s? Anyway, it works, it's solid, it's catchy, the lyrics KILL ME, I wonder what it would be like to hear a full album like this, please @ god (10//10)
Chicago = MY ZOUIS HEART!! Lyrically, this shit took me out, THIS is hardcore Louis, the lyrics just so barbed and specific, yet generic enough that you couldn't REALLY pin him down. Personally, it's a little too slow for me, it honestly gives me some One Direction vibes, like the slower parts of a later-era album, and I don't hate that (9//10)
Out of My System = Hells yeah, this is a direct rip off of AMs, both sonically and lyrically, and I'm here for it. It's not quite on Alex's level, but it's close enough, and the pulsing drive in the music, the catchy beat, he can do this and keep it goin' [F1 race engineer voice: "Push, Louis, push. Push."] (9//10)
Silver Tongues = OKAY, I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH, jesus, it's right up there as one of my faves, there's so much going on lyrically, so maybe layers, musically it kills, not just on the AMs front but the lil call back to Steal My Girl, he's a GENIUS for this one alone, would love to see a copy of a copy of a copy of it (12//10)
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xinanigans · 2 months
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Art application thing due in like 10 days.. IM SO COOKED WAAAAAAAAAA
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hae-ter · 1 year
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there hasn't been a single enlistment that has gotten me truly depressed other than thinking about taeil's..................
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pokemon1oadvanced · 8 months
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Thoughts on the live action one piece
Spoilers 😉
Yes, I binged all 8 episodes, and have work today and can’t see out my eyes but worth it.
I’ll try to keep it short.
Luffys character was immaculate. The way Inaki portrayed him and brought this man to life was so amazing to see. Oda really saw Luffy in him and he did not disappoint. The moves looked great, CGI was on point for a live action, and they really did break the curse.
Zoro’s character was beautiful. I love that he was more serious, and him throwing up the finger in his first scene?! I’m star struck. You can say what you want about the live action, but theres no denying this cast was perfect for these characters and the fight scenes were choreographed to the point where it looked so clean.
Nami 🥳 The emotion! The conflict! I absolutely love the way she had more action scenes and was more open with her care for the crew early on. Nami has always been my favourite character, and Emily did her justice.
I will be listening to her song on repeat.
Ussop! Ussop! Are you serious! Why do I love you in every reality! And Ussop and Kaya! The kiss! The scream I let out! I died😵‍💫 I wish he had more shooting scenes, but his true potential wasn’t seen until later in the anime so I can’t complain, cause season two Ussop is gonna pop off.
Sanji😳 First off, live action Sanji has a hold on me😮‍💨 Like what happened to the guy who couldn’t get any girls. Ngl, was keeping an eye out for the blonde at table 8, looking out for my competition👀 His kicks were so smooth and all, and I mean ALL, his fight scenes were perfect. Like how did they do this. You can see the care and effort he put into his character.
Buggy? I love our unhinged clown. His making a circus with trapped towns people. His CGI? Amazing. The little goof we were left with when they trapped his parts in the chest made me cackle!
The pacing of the show was done so well. I was worried that 8 episodes wouldn’t be enough (and I was right where’s season two I want Vivi), but the retelling was more then I hoped for. I will always love the anime more, as most of us know there’s not enough episodes in the series, but the live action did great in that respect. I did miss some of the characters they had to cut to make it flow better though. The ussop pirates live on in our hearts
Don’t get me wrong, there was some scenes I missed from the original show, like Zoro lifting Luffy’s cage, Nami burning her hands on Buggys cannon fuse, Nami stabbing Ussop. BUT, they wouldn’t have fit in this version of the show.
They did give us Zoro lifting the safe like he did Luffys cage which was cool. And Nami holding Ussops hand when Zoro was fighting, Nami showing up for the fight rather then leaving. I love her. Even though Nami didn’t get to show her care through the actions of saving Zoro or stabbing her own hand, she was still able to show those emtions through different actions. The hand holding with Ussop rather then the stabbing of her hand was so good to see. This version of Nami seemed more fragile in a way, so this suited her version well.
It was like watching One Piece for the first time all over again. I didn’t know what would happen. Getting more marines, and Garps relationship to Luffy being revealed so early in the series to cause tension within the crew *chef’s kiss* And Koby? ‘Be a good pirate.’? Like I love you? Not doing what Garp asked? Standing up for his beliefs? You are going to be a good Marine. You’ll be the greatest 💕
The relationships they explored?
First off Ussop and Kaya 😵 I love them so much. Them talking to the straw hats about their relationship was so cute, and Zoro saying it wasn’t his area of expertise 💅🏻✨ Jokes 👀
Nami being besties with Kaya😍 Her telling Kaya not to let someone tell her how to run her life, drawing connections to her own situation, telling Kaya not to be trapped. Her returning the treasure! I loved it so much. Ussop’s and Nami’s friendship has always been the one I cherished in the crew, and for Nami to support Kaya, and Ussop to see how Nami was good to his girl I feel will only strengthen their relationship.
Nami and Zoro besties? Didn’t know I could love them more.
Nami caring so much for Zoro after his fight with Mihawk showed her love for her new friends, and mirrored her care she had in the original series where she saved him from drowning at Arlong park. Even though we didn’t get the original scenes, they were supplemented with new scenes that held the same feelings.
Zosan- I mean Zoro and Sanji. The wings of the pirate king? I love their bickering in any universe it seems. The fish men fight was so good, them being unbothered with the guys trying to kill them as they fought with each other was so them. And Zoro licking his plate clean and saying Sanji’s food was okay? Not bad for a waiter huh?
And the most important pair. Captain and his first mate. I just loved how many times they reiterated that Zoro is Luffys right hand man 🥰 Luffy not stepping in the way of Zoros dream was beautiful, and his care afterwards reminded me of how he cared for Nami when she got sick in the original series. Asking Sanji to cook his favourite? So cute. He couldn’t decide if it was best for Zoro to eat or sleep or drink and him stressing for Zoro. All amazing. I’ve used amazing so many times but its just the word I need to explain it. Zoro waking up, Luffy engulfing him. I could go on and on.
Nami and Luffy? The amount of love I have for them. They were everything I wanted from them. The scene. THE scene. Beautiful.
I could go on and on about this show, but sadly I have work. Please show this version love, and don’t go into expecting the same series. It is different. It’s its own version and deserves its own category.
I love the cast! Thank you for making history with this adaptation! Xx
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royaltozaki · 10 days
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save your love
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synopsis: y/n is susie in allie x & mitski's susie save your love song - if u dont know it go listen :P (but also u dont have to lol synopsis is y/n calls bsf sana drunk and sad and angry abt her bf and you don't know that sana is in love with you)
warnings: cursing, sexual harassment, alcohol, slight cheating, gonn repeat sexual harassment bcs its there and its potentially triggering so err on the side of caution and dont read if ur worried - take care🙏
w/c: 3.7k
a/n: still not over the fact that sana used susie save your love in that one ig post like wdym ur a mitski - qpoc ICON - listener and u post a song abt how u wish ur bsf would leave her dumb bf and be w u instead - a quintessential wlw experience like HELLO???? i also think i projected a liiiiiiil bit accidentally maybe im so sorry but writing this shit works better than therapy ngl
࿐ ࿔*: ☽・゚
"y/n where the fuck are you."
you're cursing as you almost drop your drink, phone between your ear and shoulder.
"i dunnoooo one of marshall's friends' places i think. he was supposed to be my ride home but i can't find himmmmmm."
sana's already got her keys in her hand, heading out towards her car, cursing under her breath, "can you share your location with me sweetie? or is there anyone else there that you know?"
you look around at the various stragglers in the living room either smoking, high out of their minds, or completely passed out. loud music, bass thumping hurting your head as you feel the vibrations shoot up your body. "mmmmm noooo but-"
"hey! marshall's girl right?" a deep voice comes over the phone and sana squints to try and make out what's going on, unlocking her car and turning her engine on.
"y/n? hey y/n you still there?"
"mm yeah sana sorry one sec- you guys know where marshall is?"
"think i saw him headed home with someone in the passenger seat, thought that was you cutie."
"someone else? huh?"
"you doing okay? you look a little pale let's get you upstairs in the bathroom yeah?"
"w-wait no-" sana can make out multiple voices talking to you and a little scuffle as you drop your phone, voices fading.
"fuck!" she's about to call your boyfriend marshall and demand for your address when she sees you were able to start sharing your location with her. she sets it into her navigation app and starts speeding to the destination.
࿐ ࿔*: ☽・゚
"umm guys where are we going? i don't think marshall's up here..."
"oh don't worry babygirl. marshall's our best friend he's okay with whatever we wanna do."
"mm okay but like- what are we doing? if we're singing you guys have to know i suck at karaoke so don't laugh."
the three guys holding you up laugh, "nah nah baby we're just gonna get you cleaned up a little before marshall comes to pick you up okay?"
"oh okay~ mmm wait where's my phone? i was just talking to my best friend-" you start to fumble for your pockets while the guys lead you into a dim room.
they shut the door and close in on you, you’re still cluelessly looking for your phone when one guy starts kissing you, shoving his tongue into your mouth.
"w-wait! what are you doing?!"
he's pushing you onto a bed and climbing on top of you kissing your neck while the others slip your top off and unbutton your jeans. "shhh we're just cleaning you up like we said. want you to be nice and ready for marshall right?"
"no what-"
the door slams open and sana's there, breathing heavily from clambering over the steps.
"get the fuck away from her."
the guys exchange annoyed looks when the one who was at your jeans stands up and walks towards sana, "you the best friend? you're welcome to join us if you'd like." he's pulling on her hand and dragging her towards you.
she doesn't give him another second, yanking him back and bringing a knee up into his crotch, letting him fall to the side groaning as she rushes towards you.
you realise belatedly she's got her phone out and the flashlight on as you squint, trying to make out her face.
"get the fuck off her right fucking now. i've got all you shits on camera and the cops on speed dial."
the two guys glance at each other, looking like they want to pull a fight but then they're cursing and moving away, picking up their friend off the floor and stumbling out the door.
her flashlight turns off, and you feel her tugging your clothes back into place before lifting you bridal-style and carrying you out, down the stairs, and into the passenger seat of her car.
you watch hazily as she paces around outside for a few minutes on the phone with someone, stopping to snap a picture of the house and then hanging up and getting into the car, slamming the door close.
you flinch at the sound, shrinking into your seat, pulling the jacket she's draped over you closer.
she starts the engine and pulls out wordlessly.
you don't dare speak yet, letting the soft hum of the engine and the late night radio music fill the silence as you listen to her heavy breaths slow down.
finally she sighs and glances over at you, "what would you have done if i didn't show up y/n?" her voice is gentle, it always was with you.
you can't look at her, tears welling up in your eyes as you stare out the window, shrugging in response.
she's frowning, "did they manage to do anything to you? are you okay? do we need to get you to a hospital?"
you're shaking your head, the movement making you dizzy, feeling gross in your own skin as you pick at your nails. "can you take me to marshall's? i don't wanna talk about this right now." you're voice is croaky when you speak, on the verge of tears.
sana grips the wheel hard at your request, instead, pulling over on the side of the empty road and putting the car in park.
you sigh exasperatedly, "sana please i just said i don't want to talk about this right now."
"that's fine but if you think i'm taking you to that asshole's house then you've got to be fucking kidding me y/n."
you turn your head to look at her then, her eyes are dark with barely concealed rage, fists clenched so tight her knuckles were turning white. you falter under her gaze, "he's not an asshole."
she scoffs then, "are you fucking serious? what kinda boyfriend takes you to his rapist friends' house then leaves with another girl without so much as a text. it should be enough proof he’s a dick that he's even friends with those assholes." she spits.
and you can't help it, you start sobbing uncontrollably.
"oh shit y/n i didn't- i'm sorry-" she's shuffling around trying to get around the console, and you sob even louder at her outstretched hand, careful and wanting to comfort you but making sure you were okay being touched first.
you're diving into her arms and then she's all there. pulling you into her lap and adjusting the position of her seat so you can squeeze in between the wheel and her torso. soft hands running through your hair shooshing and whispering gently into you ear. arm wrapped tightly around your waist while your face is buried in her chest, heaving and letting out your disgust.
she never stops running her fingers through your hair, letting your sobs wrack your body, hearts beating in tandem as she just holds you.
eventually, your sobs reside to sniffles and you feel a little silly, rubbing your eyes onto the material of her betty boop pyjama shirt.
she's still combing fingers through you hair, rubbing your back lightly, and laying soft kisses along the side of your face, resting her forehead against the top of your head and breathing you in softly.
"i-i'm-" your voice cracks as you try to speak up weakly but she hushes you quickly.
"we don't have to talk if you don't want to. we can stay here for as long as you want. i'm not going anywhere."
you feel your eyes well up again, but you swallow it down, speaking up after clearing your throat, "i'm sorry-" your voice cracks again, almost breaking, "i'm sorry you had to see me like that."
you feel her lifting her head off yours and looking at you in disbelief, mouth open and about to protest but you put a finger to her lips, still not able to look at her.
"no let me finish. you were right. i had no idea what i'd have done if you didn't come. i'm sorry that you did have to come. i'm just so sorry for fucking up sana. if i'd- if i hadn't got so drunk maybe, or if i'd followed marshall home-"
she licks the finger on her lips and you yelp, looking at her out of reaction and cringing, wiping the finger on her shoulder in faux disgust.
she chuckles, "can i talk yet?"
you nod shyly, "as long as you don't lick me again." avoiding her eyes.
she's smiling and a hand is on your cheek, brushing the skin there gently and you can't help but lean into the touch.
"y/n... you don't have to apologise for anything. i'm sorry if i made you feel like you did. but i don't care about all of that. i'm just grateful i was there, if anything, i'm angry at myself for not being there sooner." you look at her as she takes a shaky breath in, eyes wet, "but you have to know none of that was your fault. there's no what if. it was no one's fault but the guys who decided to take advantage of you while you were drunk."
you're crying again, head in your hands, "n-no but- like i know that but i just- like i trusted them. i trusted them because they were meant to be marshall's friends and i trusted marshall."
she's rubbing her hands at your lower back, "that doesn't make it your fault for trusting them. they broke that trust the moment they started thinking of you in a way they shouldn't have. you can't blame yourself for something like that y/n."
"i just feel so gross sana. i can't stop thinking about how their hands felt on me, and i want to scrub off every bit of them."
she's clutching your waist, anger building up again, "i'll fucking kill them."
you let out a choked laugh, "yeah? you and your 163 centimetres? against three buff gym rats?" you poke the skin at her arms, "with these muscles i assume?" (it was SO funny and adorable in the ready to be tw-log finale ep when jeongyeon was poking at sana saying how she has zero arm muscles)
she's pulling away from you with a pout and a whine on her lips before her gaze darkens and she says somberly, "i have a car."
you laugh seriously then, a big hearty laugh as your head falls to her shoulder, and she's whining and trying to pull you up. you're so grateful for her.
eventually you come up, wiping at your eyes and catching your breath, "well i'm glad i have someone who'd commit manslaughter for me."
she's pouting adorably and you get a sudden rush of want, and you blush, scrambling away, wondering why the fuck you just thought about how easy it'd be to kiss the pout off your best friend's lips.
sana's confused and pulling you back into her, "what's wrong? where’re you going?"
you come up with the quickest excuse you can think of, "gonna puke."
she yelps and quickly opens the car door, almost falling out in her rush to avoid being covered in sick. you're out the door in seconds, heaving in the fresh air and shivering slightly at the cold, hoping it'll at least cool down the heat in your cheeks.
then you're giggling, and then laughing again, turning back to face her look of disgust. her face morphs as she watches you though, and soon enough she's doubled over laughing as well.
to anyone driving past, you'd both look insane, laughing at absolutely nothing. but to you, you've never felt more free, more relieved. you're safe, and okay, and you're favourite person in the whole world is here with you. you collapse onto the hood of her car, and she follows suit, giggling and breathy.
the two of you lay here, looking up into the night sky, counting the stars. you shiver slightly and move closer towards her until your bodies are touching. she's turning slightly, wrapping an arm around your waist loosely, and watching you watch the stars.
you turn to face her, breaths mingling, coming out in wispy white clouds of heat in the chilly night air. you find your eyes dropping to her mouth again, and you can't hide the blush that adorns your face this time. if you'd just leaned in a little more, you'd be able to answer the burning question in your head of what exactly sana tasted like.
the slight quiver in her lower lip entrances you, the soft breaths she's taking as her warmth fans over your face, smelling of jasmine and the toothpaste she’s used just before bed. you're inching closer and closer, her eyes are on your lips as well.
you lose it though, when a tongue peeks out and licks across her bottom lip, and you're pressing your lips against hers softly, eyes closed, and humming at the warmth she provides.
she's kissing you back gently, lips slotting against yours in the perfect way, and then she's gone, pulling away leaving you chasing after her, but she places a hand on your chest, pushing you back lightly.
"you're drunk. and taken. this is wrong."
you whine, trying to pull her back to you but she's firm, sitting up and walking away.
you're blinking and what the fuck just happened? dazed as you stand up as well, moving back into the passenger seat dumbly, peeking at her expression trying to get a sense of what was going on inside her mind.
she starts the engine and pulls out from the kerb, staring straight ahead, giving you nothing.
you can't help but think you've fucked everything up again.
࿐ ࿔*: ☽・゚
the storm brewing inside your head doesn't stop when she pulls into your driveway and parks.
you muster up the courage to apologise but she beats you to it, "i'm sorry y/n. i shouldn't have done that. can we just forget it about it please? i don't want to ruin anything between us. you're the most important person in the world to me and i can't lose you over these stupid feelings and i'm so sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable at all i-"
your inebriated mind is playing catch up, rolling her words in your head over and over again trying to figure out why that sounded like she was saying she had feelings for you? that couldn't be right. sana was the it girl. she was the girl that everyone wanted. she was the girl that sat through your nerdy rants about space and eels. the girl that bought you ice cream when your first boyfriend broke up with you in grade 3 because he didn't like the way you cut your hair. the girl that cried when she found out you weren't going to the same high school because you were moving away, but then managed to get her parents to enroll her anyway and spent the next 6 years taking the 2 hour commute to school just to be with you.
and holy shit. sana was in love with you.
"sana..." you interrupted her rambling, "i... i kinda have a massive headache right now and i'm more than a little drunk but… this isn't going to change our friendship at all."
her eyes are wide and shining, looking at you in fear, you grab her hands and squeeze them over the console, "i promise i'm not leaving you but i don't want to give you an answer yet when i'm in this state. but if it helps, i'm pretty sure i'm the one that kissed you first." you grin, and she lets out a shaky breath.
you let go of her hands and shyly rub the back of your neck, "i kinda need to get inside and get clean but i'll call you tomorrow if that's okay?"
she's nodding, wiping at her eyes hastily.
you open the door and step out, closing it softly behind you. but you lean back down and gesture for her to roll down the window which she does.
"and sana... thank you for tonight. seriously. i don't know how i can ever show you how grateful i am for you being there."
she purses her lip and is firm again, "stop it. i'm glad i was there. and thankyou for letting me be there for you."
you smile gently as you wave and head towards your door, she waits for you to get inside and the door to shut before she pulls out and drives home, heart thumping, thoughts messy.
࿐ ࿔*: ☽・゚
you wake up in the morning with a pounding headache, stumbling to your kitchen to pop a few painkillers and squinting as you adjust to the morning sunlight spilling through your windows.
thank god you remembered everything that happened last night, you set your lips in a line as you got ready. you had a strict plan for today, and nothing was going to ruin it.
you quickly get dressed, thumbing out a small letter and grab your keys, driving over to marshall's house was step one.
once you arrive, you slam your car door loudly, taking satisfaction in the fact it probably woke him in his self-induced hangover he was no doubt soothing. you stalk up his front door, rapping on the wood loudly and tapping your foot impatiently as you wait for him to open the door.
it's not him though, and you scoff at the sight of a half naked girl, probably barely legal, pushing her aside despite her weak protests, and letting yourself into the space.
you storm up to his room, flinging open the door, grabbing the vase next to the bed, and dumping the water all over his sleeping head.
he wakes up with a start, "WHAT THE FUC-"
you slap him across the face, bringing his attention to you, "we're done." two simple words and you're back out the door, going down the steps, and back into your car.
you're halfway down the street when you spot him in the rearview mirror clambering after you in his underwear, soaking and pathetic.
you can't believe you had stayed with that man for as long as you had.
the relief you feel after your first action of the day is freeing. you're chasing after the feeling you had last night when you were doubled over laughing like madmen with sana on the side of the road. adrenaline pumping as you pull up to your local florist, purchasing a big bouquet of pink hydrangeas and then grabbing 2 coffees and a few bakery goods, shoving everything back into your car and speeding away again.
you arrive at sana's front door in record time, knowing her, she was definitely awake already and probably anxiously waiting for you to call. you grin as you grab the flowers, the letter you wrote before you left the house, and the breakfast you've gotten for the both of you, placing it down on her front door mat and arranging everything nicely so it looked picture-worthy.
then you ring her doorbell and duck, running over to her side fence that you knew she always left unlocked, entering her house through the back door, and sneaking back towards the front.
sana's bent down over the flowers and you can see the slight crease between her eyebrows from her confusion as she reads the letter you've left in the middle of the hydrangeas.
i'm sure you don't need me to tell you what pink hydrangeas represent because you're a huge flower nerd and i love that about you but i'm going to write it out anyway to show you i did the research.
in japan, hydrangeas are used to show you're sorry. and i'm sorry for not realising sooner, for letting you suffer for so long on your own. they also represent heartfelt emotions and gratitude. i'm eternally grateful for you sana. you're the most important person in the whole world to me too. i'd also commit manslaughter for you.
in europe, hydrangeas mean vanity and arrogance. i'm sorry i was so self-involved with my stupid boyfriends. to tell you the truth, i always thought you were too good for me, and that you'd realise that one day and leave, so i clung to anyone i could find, waiting in fear of that day. that was selfish of me, and i see that now, because you could never leave someone you love. because i realised i feel the same way about you, and i could never, never leave you.
pink hydrangeas are the most romantic of the bunch. (they’re also your favourite colour) i'm obviously trying to tell you that i love you too in a more than platonic way. and this time i'm not drunk or hyperemotional, i'm certain.
you silently creep up behind her while she's reading your note, and then grab her waist lifting her up into the air as she squeals, turning her in your arms and planting your lips on hers.
she's caught by surprise, lips unmoving against yours, until she realises it's you and wraps her legs around your waist, arms around your neck, and kisses you back.
you can finally taste her. and there's no way to describe it. you don't know why it took you so long to realise your feelings for her, but you'd never felt the way you feel about her for anyone else. you'd chalked that up to being best friends and that that's the way all best friends feel about each other, but best friends don't sigh into kisses. best friends don't feel like their hearts would explode with each soft press of skin against each other. best friends don't love each other the way you loved sana.
you break away when you feel wetness glide along your cheek, and salt touch the tip of your tongue. "sana?! oh my god i'm so sorry, i shouldn't- i should've asked first- oh shit i'm so-"
she's chuckling brokenly and you can't tell if she's laughing or crying or both but she pulls you back in, melding your lips together again speaking against your mouth, "i'm sorry. i'm just so happy right now."
you smile against her, kissing her again, you think you'll never be able to get enough of this feeling. "i'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up."
you feel her laugh against you, "i'm just glad you've still got some love saved for me."
"always." kiss. "it's all for you from now. i love you."
"i love you too idiot."
175 notes · View notes
meshlasolus · 4 months
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Don’t Blame Me
Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader
A/n: i am so tired and everyone hates me but hey at least i still have dbf joel
Warnings: girl this whole concept should be a warning but anyways… age gap, some fluff, some smut, probably some editing mistakes bc ya girl is tired ok its 2am… again
This one is awkward ngl
Decided on the song ‘Don’t blame me’ by taylor swift bc I’m a swiftie and what else was i supposed to put?
MASTERLIST
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reader is like 21/22, joel is 37
“Here, you grab that end,” you gave his shoulder a light shove, nodding towards the end of the beam as you sunk down by the other. “You shouldn’t overdo it, you might feel sick again.”
“M’ stronger than I look,” he mumbled, and you scoffed.
“Trust me, I know…” you ignored his waves of dismissal, and began lifting from one side. “But you need to take it easy. Save your energy.”
The temp job was easy, mostly because Joel did most of the heavy lifting. It had been all fun and games for the first week, standing by him and watching him work, handing him the specific tools when he asked. Seemed like a dream job in most aspects, getting to sit and look pretty while the man you’re sneaking around with gets all hot and sweaty, his arms a bulging mass of muscle under the short sleeves of his dark t-shirt. 
He would often smirk when he sensed you were taking him in, admiring the view from where the toolbox was sitting. He would tease you relentlessly for it, of course, as is his way… but it didn’t stop your glances and forbidden stares. 
A whole week it had been this way, and you were more than happy to keep the flow of things going, but unfortunately on Sunday night, Joel got sick. 
It was just a fever, nothing he couldn’t sleep off in a few days. He’d called you on Monday morning before he even called anyone else at the site. They all wished him well and sent their little ‘get better soon’ messages thereafter, while you offered to drop by later with some ‘sick day’ supplies. He told you he didn’t want you catching whatever he had, and you understood that if you were sick, too, the odds of seeing each other would get lower. 
Week number two, the first several days of which were spent without Joel, and doing far too much heavy lifting of your own. There was another woman working with you all, and they supposed that two of you could make up for one Joel. You didn’t even realize how truly strong he was until you had to carry the weight he normally did. Even with another person, it was tiring and straining, and downright gruesome on your muscles. You’d been sore every night you went home. 
As soon as Joel came back, you’d have to remember to help him out a bit more, because there’s no way he enjoys not being assisted. He always insists you don’t have to, but you’ve learned how hard it is, so you want to. 
Thursday, Joel’s first day back at work, not feeling completely himself, but better enough to come into work and make some progress. 
You paid mind when he bent down to lift a heavy beam that should have taken two men to carry. 
“Here, you grab that end,” you gave his shoulder a light shove, nodding towards the end of the beam as you sunk down by the other. “You shouldn’t overdo it, you might feel sick again.”
“M’ stronger than I look,” he mumbled, and you scoffed.
“Trust me, I know…” you ignored his waves of dismissal, and began lifting from one side. “But you need to take it easy. Save your energy.”
He gave you a look, narrow eyes and furrowed brows, “Save it for what?”
You shrugged, beginning to walk backwards once he had his part lifted high enough to move the beam. You looked over your shoulder a few times to make sure you weren’t gonna crash into anything. 
“Just don’t want you to keep gettin’ sick. Been missin’ you,” you admitted, waiting for his reaction. He’d been feeling the same way, you knew. He’d sent you texts after you got home from work everyday to tell you so. 
“Missed you too, baby,” he set down his end once you both reached the correct spot on the interior, kicking it into place by the rest of the framework. 
You smiled sweetly at him, continuing the work as if nothing happened. As if your heart didn’t skip a beat from hearing those words in person, in his voice, dripping with the Texan drawl you were so fond of. It was comforting, it was familiar, and it gave you a sense of security. 
-
By the time Monday rolled around again, the framework had been completed and the electrical and plumbing started to take place. This was less of Joel’s and your dad’s specialty, but they still always showed up to oversee everything being done on time and to the company’s standards. 
This, of course, meant that you were nearly obsolete, and didn’t need to show up for the next few days. Now that you were the one being barred from doing any work, you had to come up with other excuses to drop by Joel’s after he came home from work. 
‘You left your jacket on our couch, and I wanted you to have it back before it gets cold out.’ 
Or 
‘My dad made a really good four cheese lasagna, I brought you some to try.’
It was always so much harder to figure out a time or place to meet up, since he and your dad worked together, and Sarah was almost always at the house after school. 
He knew you were going stir crazy, and even though he’d been tired and worn, he knew he had to see you… alone.
You were in the kitchen rinsing out your cereal bowl when your phone buzzed on the counter top. 
Sarah’s going over with a friend to spend the night, I’m on my way home right now.
Is that an invitation?
Damn right it is.
You smiled wide, not even bothering to do anything else with the bowl in your hand. You dropped it in the sink and went galavanting about your house and up to your room. Your dad would probably be getting home about the same time as Joel, maybe a bit later, but you figured you should wait to see him before you leave for the night. You’d feel even more guilty if you just shot him a text and left for his best friend’s place, right next door for the night. 
You got wrapped up in a sweatshirt and some jogging shorts, grabbing your backpack and phone charger, swinging around the doorway and back down the stairs. 
As luck would have it, the sound of keys in the door caught you just as you reached the bottom. You dad pushed through the door, his yawn of exhaustion clearly evident. He hooked the keys on the wall hanger beside him, then turned to see you, pulling the straps of your bag up your arms. 
“Hey there, lovebug,” he smiled, taking a few steps up to hug you around the neck and peck the top of your head. “Where are you off to?” 
You thought for only a split second before forming a story. 
“Nowhere in particular… just got invited by some friends to drive around and get some fast food.” 
Very convincing, and he laughed, shaking his head. 
“Kids these days, I’ll tell ya… back n’ my day we used to go to movies or walk around a mall. Used to do actual activities n’ things.” 
You rolled your eyes, letting him rant on about the ‘strange ways’ of your generation.
“Well, we aren’t kids, but we are easily entertained. I’ll see you later, though.”
You gave him a pat on his shoulder and a quick kiss to his cheek before heading out the door. Right before it shut, you could hear your dad fumbling around in the kitchen. He would probably be distracted for a while. 
Your face turned giddy as soon as you looked over to see Joel’s truck had been parked. You tried to look as nonchalant as possible, walking plainly over to the house next door, just in case there were any neighbors looking through an open window. You had no qualms about being near or with Joel, but you did have a problem with outside people making it their topic of conversation in the neighborhood gossip chain.
You got up to the door, and knocked, the door opening within maybe five seconds or less. The response time was near immediate, and you wondered if he’d been sitting in his chair near the door. 
“Hi there, I’m here to tell you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ,” you said seriously when he leaned into the doorframe, only breaking your facade when he stood there, unamused. You let out a giggle and at the noise he dropped his hard exterior.
He rolled his eyes and nodded inside before stepping back enough to allow you entrance.
“How was work?” You asked, dropping your backpack on the chair and waiting for him to close the door. 
“S’ alright. Mostly just a long and boring day with nothing pretty to see.”
“I’m sure my absence had nothing to do with that,” you remarked sarcastically, letting him take the last few steps to meet you. He looked so tired, and yet, completely awake just at the sight of you. 
“No, nothing at all.”
He took you into his arms and leaned down by your ear, whispering the last part of his words to you. It had been several days since you could stand like this, out of sight of others, their prying eyes all but away to witness the way he held you and squeezed you tightly. 
He smelled of sweat and concrete powder, which, though wasn’t a horribly unpleasant smell, you felt it couldn’t be comfortable to have it all over one's body. 
“Why don’t you head up to the shower and I’ll order a pizza?” You suggested, pulling back to see his worn out face, feeling the deep inhale of his breath by his chest. He let it out with a hunch of his shoulders as he replied. 
“I got food here, I can cook up sum’ quick-”
“Joel you’re exhausted, and besides… I got dominoes rewards,” you joked, pressing up to kiss the tip of his nose. There was no room for protest after that, and he nodded in agreement before pulling away to head upstairs. 
He had half a mind to ask you to join him, but having not crossed that line before, he didn’t really know what was on and what was off of the table. He shook the thought from his mind, going into his bathroom and starting the water. 
The domesticity was intoxicating. Hugging you after he got home from a long work day, of which he missed seeing your face. Seeing your smile and hearing your laugh and all the little gestures you make that you don’t even realize you’re doing. Sending him upstairs to get cleaned up only so he can come back down to you and eat pizza on the couch together. He hated how much he loved it, relaxed into it, even.
It’s almost too good to be true… and maybe it is. Because while you fit him perfectly, and while you both can pick up without missing a beat, you’re still the kid next door. His best friend’s daughter, and someone he should absolutely not be doing anything stupid with. That’s exactly what this was, wasn’t it? Stupidity. There’s no way this relationship ends well. Whether your dad comes around, or Sarah does, or the entire town for that matter. Whether or not his reputation is ruined, or yours. Nothing good can come from sneaking around, the quiet embraces or the late night stolen kisses. But you can’t stop, and neither can he.
He gets into the shower with a clear mind. Whatever happens, I have her for right now. 
-
You paid for the pizza and carried it inside, kicking the door shut as you balanced it along with the sides and sauces all in your arms. Joel had gotten out of his shower a few minutes ago, and was probably getting dried off and changed, so it was perfect timing that you had everything set out on the countertop when he came trotting down the stairs. 
“Hey, I got you some wings,” you told him, pointing to the box labeled ‘hot buffalo’ across from where you sat on the barstool. You’d been dipping a breadstick in marinara when he walked around you, kissing the side of your head before sitting down beside you. 
“Thank you,” he spoke gratefully, his hands already reaching for the box, moving the pizza to the side for a moment. You knew what he liked, a testament of the time you’d known him for. “So what’ve you been up to? Now that you’ve had a break from work?” 
“I wouldn’t call what I do actual work,” you snorted, but paused and tilted your head, recalling the day’s events. “I cleaned up ‘round the house, went to get some groceries for my dad, came home n’ watched some tv n’ had half a bowl of cereal.”
“Sounds eventful,” he mocked, and you gave him a nudge with your elbow. He chuckled, taking a bite of a chicken wing. 
“Haven’t really had anything else to do,” you shrugged, grabbing a pizza slice and dragging it out of the box, carefully pulling the cheese so it didn’t flop all over the counter top. “Not that I’m complainin’, though. Rather have time on my hands than be too busy.”
He understood that. It seemed like all he ever did was work nowadays. It was the same cycle, over and again. Wake up at six in the morning, eat breakfast with Sarah, drop her off at school, and get back to the grind. Framing, insulating, installing, furnishing, repeat. All day, every day. Come home late to dinner with Sarah and sometimes watch a movie before bed. It’s all he ever does, and though it’s consistent, and it’s familiar, he aches for the additional warmth you bring. It’s why he called you over that first night in the bar. He hadn’t expected to see you back, and moreover, he didn’t expect you to seem so grown up. 
He swears up and down that if you hadn’t been there that night, practically taunting him during that line dance, that this would have never happened. You both would have gone on to live alongside one another, but separately, just as you always have. 
The conversation continued, slowly, with no pressure of any answer from either side. It was easy, natural. Joel didn’t like talking when he didn’t have to, and although it was different around you, he still kept his words to a few. 
Once the pizza was eaten, the trash was discarded, and you’d move to the sink to get some of the grease off your hands. 
“Y’know, we’re gonna be startin’ on interior installations soon, you might be able to come back and work on some stuff with me, if you still want to.”
You were excited at the thought of his words. Getting to watch Joel Miller lift heavy things like countertops and cabinets? And all the while, getting to watch from a now insulated house? That was even better. 
“Well, I’ll obviously have to check my schedule. You know how busy I can be,” you joked, drying your hands on a paper towel from beside the sink. You turned around to throw it away but got caught between Joel and the counter, his arms coming down on either side. 
“You tease me far too much, y’know that?” He lowered his head to meet your eyeline and you took a sharp intake of breath. 
“Only because it’s far too much fun.”
He shook his head, getting close enough to close the gap and kiss you. First just short and sweet, then after a second glance, faster, and more motivated. Your hands found a place on his cheeks right away, holding him close to you while he kissed you deeper, his tongue finding its way between your lips. His hands went from beside you to under your thighs, picking you up as if you weighed nothing, and setting you down onto the edge of the counter by the sink. With your legs open, you pulled him into your body, not even realizing how roughly you’d done so. 
“Damn baby, you’re gettin’ real strong,” he chuckled, burying his face into your neck to kiss and suck marks there. Consequences and aftermath be damned, he wouldn’t stop.
“Must be from all the heavy liftin’ last week… pickin’ up your slack.”
He bit down harsher into your skin, and you moaned out a noise akin to pain and pleasure. 
“Keep talkin’ baby, I’ll show you real slack.” 
“Only gonna make me stronger,” you whispered against the side of his head, a smirk resting on your face, even in the position you were sitting. He had all the power, but you still had your little quips.
His hands at the bottom of your sweatshirt were hesitant. He talked confidently, without pause or conviction, but the truth of the matter would always remain that he was going to be hesitant with you. You’re the forbidden fruit, the thing he wasn’t supposed to touch, and yet… here he stands, his hands under your hoodie and lips thoroughly attached to the crook of your neck and shoulder. 
“Fuck it,” he let out, dragging the hem of your clothing upwards until you raised your arms for it to come off. Where it landed, you’d have no idea. You just know that in this moment, with his hands on your bare skin, you couldn’t care less if you ever saw it again. 
You’d not really paid mind to what you wore underneath it, an old red and gray tie-dye sports bra now the only thing to adorn the top of your body. He didn’t care in the slightest, far too happy to even see you in that.
He quickly moved you from the counter into his arms, journeying through the kitchen and again to the living room, just like last time… except instead of sitting down, letting you remain on his lap, he laid you back into the cushioned area, crawling over you to hover back where he had been before. 
You didn’t think it was fair to let him take off clothing while remaining fully clothed. 
“My turn,” you pushed him back, ripping at his t-shirt to try and rid him of it. It was a fresh shirt, probably just came out of the dryer last night, but you tossed it to the ground without a second thought. 
You don’t recall seeing Joel shirtless. You remember that one time at the water park after graduation, when he wore a pair of trucks, and a sun shirt. Whether it was because he was afraid of getting sunburned, or because he was self conscious, you would never know. From what you could see, you couldn’t possibly imagine it being the latter. He wasn’t ripped, or even overly toned for that matter. He had a sculpted softness about him that was completely beautiful. He doesn’t work out, but he definitely works. His arms are full and muscular from the heavy lifting, and his shoulders are naturally broad, defined by the bulk he’s put on over the years. 
You don’t know if you’ve ever seen a body like his. The boys that have pursued you at college have always been either overly scrawny, or beef cakes. They want to be the hottest thing around. Want to be desired by every girl that walks past them, just so they can feed their ego and feel better about themselves ten years from now. Joel isn’t like that. He’s got a cocky attitude about himself, but it’s more in his teasing and snarky demeanor towards you than anything else. He’s sarcastic, and cynical, but he’s not doing it for show. 
He’s old enough to realize he doesn’t have to impress anyone, because the right person will want him regardless, and you do.
You want him because he’s Joel Miller, not some body builder, or football player, or gym rat that stalks the hallways of your dorms. 
You want him for his strong arms, tan lines right where his shirts normally end. You want him for his wide shoulders, even with the little scratches from bumping into wooden framing all day. You want him for the patchy beard on his face, knowing he only keeps it because he’s far too busy, and nearly always too tired to keep up with the clean shaven look. You want him for his dark curls, graying more every day and turning the color silver when he stands in the sun. You want him for his big hands, with the calluses and rough palms, but with the softest and most gentle fingertips you’ve ever felt on your face. You want him for the softness of his stomach, though seen as a flaw by most of society, you’d much prefer it to the discomfort of a stomach toned with abs. You want him for every bit of himself. You want him because he’s perfect.
He stripped your shorts and underwear from you at once, and it amazed you how adeptly he did it. He’s been doing this for years, he knows what he’s doing, stupid.
“You alright?” He looked back at you, his eyes glazed over completely. The darkness that was there was the same lustfull darkness you’d seen before, and you anticipated what may come from it. 
“Yeah,” you smiled, watching him sink backwards and down your body. He parted your legs in a swift motion, unwilling to slow himself down on account of being so close to what he wants. “You don’t have to-”
“Shh, baby,” he pulled your hips upward and towards his face, admiring the slickness already resting between your legs before he lowered his mouth to taste it. It was so addicting, the smell of you, and he knew the second his tongue ran a long stripe up and down, he would be craving you constantly. Always on the verge of wanting you from now on. 
The noises you made, lordy, he didn’t know someone could sound like that. The very fact that you were unashamed to hide it from him, too. He loves it, how vocal you are, and how much you want him to know how he makes you feel. 
He held one finger to your entrance, coating it in your slick before plunging it deep inside of you, the curl of his knuckle making you writhe under him. He added another finger to see if you could take it. You were so tight already, and he knew that if you weren’t stretched out enough he would hurt you. 
Two fingers wasn’t necessarily painful, but it caused a bit of discomfort at first. You didn’t expect that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, but you tried to relax anyway. You wanted him so badly, wanted him entirely, and didn’t want this to put a damper on anything. 
“That’s it, sweet girl. Just like that,” he praised, trying to help you open up more with the added pressure of his thumb on your clit. The gentle circles helped you to feel less of a stretch, and the pleasure was building. You wove your hands into his hair, trying to feel a tether of reality somewhere. He kept on, and went faster, and you felt yourself at a breaking point. 
With his name on your lips, you broke apart, releasing all the tension left in your body to allow that euphoric rush to consume you. It caused your body to tremble under his, but you paid no mind to it. Once he retrieved his fingers from you, he held them up to his mouth, licking the sweetness from them that you so generously bestowed upon him. 
You tried to sit up, to reach for his belt buckle, but he stopped you. 
“Not tonight, baby,” he grabbed your hands and kissed them, the slightest bit of residue remaining on his lips. 
“But I want to.”
“I know you do,” he smiled, brushing your hair aside to kiss you now, instead. “I just don’t wanna hurt you. Let’s work towards it, okay?” 
You nodded, a bit embarrassed that you weren’t quite experienced enough to continue yet. Not to say you were inexperienced, but you definitely weren’t ready to take him yet, and he knew that for sure. The last thing he’d want to do is go too far and make it unpleasant for you. 
He’s a good man, with good intentions. Even if this relationship - whatever you want to call it - is forbidden, he’s still trying to do right by you. It’s unspoken, but you’re his girl now, and he would never hurt his girl.
.
tags: @justanothersadperson93 @moonchild-warrior @hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof @untamedheart81 @just-someone-broken @joelalorian @xybil @yvonneeeee @anoverwhelmingdin @theatrelove3000
339 notes · View notes
jwirecs · 5 months
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RECOMMENDED SEVENTEEN FICS OF NOVEMBER 2023💖
hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen for november! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝
** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **
🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite
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Loud Leather & Loud Thoughts || @bitchlessdino💕💔✅💯
↳ Hard to maintain a good acquaintanceship if it started off on the wrong foot, but Wonwoo tries to do just that, no matter how much you resent him from childhood. Now reunited as adults, you’re questioning whether your negative impression of him has stuck since being away or have you grown up just enough to realize how much between the two you have changed?. (bitchlessdino aint gon be bitchless no longer cause honey, i will be on my knees for your fics. biker!wonwoo is my new guilty pleasure.)
Too Much || @hannieehaee🔞💕✅💯💯
↳ after a few weeks of constant overtime work slouching over a desk, you feel as if your back is about to give out on you. fortunately for you, your best friend seungcheol is a professional masseuse! unfortunately for you, you're unsure of how you'll keep your crush on your best friend at bay while on his massage bed, ass up and oiled up. (the last time i had a massage, i swear i thought the masseuse broke my arm cause of a loud pop. scared me and the masseuse LMAO, but we okay. but can you imagine, cheols hands....im just gonna stop there. let the imagination run)
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Always Only You || @honeyhotteoks🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯
↳ the date was terrible, awful even, but you just can't call your brother to pick you up. you have to call his best friend instead. (brb imma need a hot minute to relive this fic. like no joke, my ass will be in the corning if you need me. bottom line, i absolutely loved this one)
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5 More Minutes || @qmrzi💕✅
↳ jihoon is working on a song before your date together and you got impatient. (he really would be the type to say 5 more minutes of work before a date. desperate times calls for desperate measures. i respect the oc's hustle.)
Bedroom Exclusive || @onlyhuis🔞💕💔✅💯
↳ seeing your boyfriend on tv kissing another girl definitely doesn't feel good, but he's got plenty of time to make it up to you. and he plans on letting you know that you're the only one on his mind. (AFTER THAT VID OF HIM IN THAT DRAMA WITH THAT ONE SCENE???? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHILD. another fic where i had to take a moment to breathe after i finished reading it. that says a whole lot my friends.)
Just The Tip || @euphor1a🔞💕💔✅💯💯
↳ he tried his best, he really did. but lord, for how long could he control himself when you looked like a pretty, little angel, all his to ruin? (you gotta give it to mingyu for resisting the urge throughout the story. flash a titty and this man will crumble to the ground. i love it.)
Now You're Safe With Me || @thedensworld💕💔✅💯
↳ Seungcheol received several missed calls from you, and he knew they weren't just regular phone calls. (stop this bby boy will drop heaven and earth to be with his boo. lets all pray that i get a man like him.)
Spotted: Woozi At Couples Therapy? || @mphountitled🔞💕💔✅
↳ A kink confession in couple's therapy might just save your relationship (i think its safe to say that this man is lowkey kinky af. lets be real. the dudes prob kinky.)
Sweet Home || @mangocustard16💕✅
↳ Mingyu returns home after a grueling practice to find you asleep on the couch, having waited for him despite his advice not to. He lifts you into his arms, shares a loving dinner, and the two of you cuddle in each other's embrace. (god soft mingyu is cute af. SOMEONE GET ME A MINGYU PLS)
To Be In Love || @daegutowns💕✅
↳ (a lil ol fic of oc's relationship with cheol. ngl oc is literally the mom of the group now. adopted 11 other children once they got with cheol. i love that for them)
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Bloodily Safe || @starlightxsvt🔞💕✅💯
↳ you have a little secret. one you are desperately hiding. yet the boy you have a crush on has figured it out. now a game of cat and mouse has begun. how do you make it out alive? (oooh child. this one. had me questioning what the heck do i read on here, but then again, i fully enjoyed it LMAO)
Clingy || @facioleeknow💕💔✅
↳ Anon Req: hi!! saw that you're taking request!! how about something like jeonghan get annoyed by the reader because he thinks reader is too clingy lately so he decided to put some distance, end up with something bad happens to reader and he regrets everything he did? angst to fluff pls thank u so much 😭🫶 (oooh mean jeonghan is lowkey my guilty pleasure. someone give me some more mean jeonghan which turns into fluff please.)
Creep || @smileysuh🔞✅💯💯💯
↳ “If the roles were reversed - if you were a ghost bound to this apartment forever - you’re saying you wouldn’t watch me get naked every day?” He’s definitely got a point. As your eyes skim Mingyu's perfect form again, that tingle returns between your legs. There’s no reason for him to be as sexy as he is- murders aren’t the only shocking thing this man has under his belt and you can see that now.  (ngl, i hope theres gonna be a second part just about how they would like overcome(????) the hardships(?????????) idk if those are the right words. but like how they would deal with one being a ghost and all that jazz. like down the line how will that work out. BUT other than that, i honestly love their fics to god.)
Driving Lessons For Dummies || @shuaflix🔞💕✅
↳ you've finally passed your written test and gotten your permit after six failed attempts. eager to get your license while attempting to avoid overpriced driving lessons, you enlist the help of kwon soonyoung, who only requires a STIIZY pod as payment. (lowkey got a fear of driving but thats something else LMAO. i respect all of the driving teachers, cause like they risking their life essentially, so i respect hoshi for risking his life with teaching the oc driving. goodluck to my future boo cause imma be the passenger princess in the relationship.)
In Between Notes || @som1ig💕💔✅
↳ after complaining for the hundredth time to your friends, you finally manage to take time to read a book unrelated to law studies. since you can’t borrow it, you decide to leave a note on the page where you left off with a comment. the next day, when you come back to reread it, you surprisingly find a note replacing yours. someone read the same book as you and answered you. then begin an epistolary exchange through notes and book, until it suddenly stops. and no, you won’t give up until you find who your correspondent was. (minghao is such a cutie, stop. connecting through notes through a book is adorable af. literally cinderella)
Love You Twice || @toruro🔞💕💔🔄
↳ in which your extremely hot and sexy one night stand turns out to be your son’s teacher. naturally, chaos ensues, but you might just find love as your life continues to take an unexpected turn. (teacher woo is satan. dont come for me but yall know this man probably has 0 patience. no scratch that, this man has too much patience. he will wait if he has to. step daddy woo. yes pls)
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Accidentally Ditching You On your Bday || @hannieehaee💔✅
↳ (title says it all. i love how i can just put myself in the oc's shoes and FEEL THE EMOTIONS. when you arent in a relationship, you through yourself in the oc shoes and live through them. that being said, them boys who "accidentally" ditch you on your birthday can choke on a piece of rice. with love.)
Petite S/O Trying to Kiss Them || @seokminded💕✅💯
↳ (its the hhu again - im short, most us females are short so we can highly relate to this struggle. LMAO)
Playfully Dodging Their Kisses || @mangocustard16💕✅💯
↳ (its the hhu but, do you hear their pouts??? you can literally hear their pouts. each any every one of them i swear to god.)
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Forgetting Your B-Day || @toruro💕💔✅
↳ (there isnt a summary but - 95 line forgetting your birthday. brb let me go quickly cry, as someone who doesnt really celebrate their birthday as like a big thing since we just aging, but this would hit me hard if i was in a relationship ngl.)
Do check out all of the other seventeen fics that i have reblogged as well!!
** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **
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sh0tanzz · 3 months
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hello I hope you are having a great day ☺️, i really like your readings hehe, please do Anton as your boyfriend reading soon, I am looking forward on your other readings of the other groups as well.
rest well and take care 💕💕
you are sooo sweet omg but here we go !!
Anton as your boyfriend based on Astrology
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(reminder that this for fun and astrology is something I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!)
warnings: small mention of suggestive innuendo but nothing extremely graphic I'll only do NSFW asks if requested.
Aries Sun: Many people are "surprised" that Anton is an aries since the stereotype is that they're hyper and aggressive but aries men can be pretty shy + to themselves initially and don't expose their extroverted behavior till they're comfortable. Aries is cardinal, they enjoy starting things and once they master it will move on to the next task (Anton went from swimming to instruments, to producing, to being an idol what bigger example do you need 😭) before the relationship actually starts he'd try to approach but wouldn't just straight up flirt he'd want to begin a friendship or some form of banter/rapport with you. Since there's no water supporting his sun in his big six it shows he wouldn't be a super sappy "my heart bleeds for you" type of boyfriend but would still be passionate and serious when it comes to you as his partner. If you had a rocky past he'd try to have you focus on the "now" of everything and help you not loath. Has his random moments of boldness but they go as fast as they came LMAOO so savor them when you can.
Aries Moon: Many people view Anton as very timid and though he is on a surface level he is most definitely capable of boldness and quickly acting on his wants, yes he is a contained individual but when he wants something he'll shamelessly go after it. So yes ! he is 100% capable of initiating things whether its physical affection or if he wants to see you. If he wants you he wants you, plus, in a video he claimed that if it was just him and the person of his affection one on one he'd express himself more freely. Which makes me think if it were you two one on one he'd be super real about his feelings and his guard wouldn't be as far up.
Aries Mercury: Yes. the headcanons that anton would spam your phone with tiktoks and memes are true. He wouldn't be afraid of hitting you up frequently and seeming "needy" like he loves you duh ofc he's gonna text you literally at any given opportunity. Would probably have your post notifs on and would be the FIRSTTT person to like your post and story. He'd be very honest and straightforward when communicating so you wouldn't have to worry about reading in between the lines or having to guess about what's going on between you two.
Taurus Venus: He could have short lived phases of being possessive and literally viewing you as "his person". He wouldn't want the relationship to continuously rush into new bases he'd want it to have a natural flow and wouldn't rush you into anything but would still want to know where you stood on certain things and be in the know (his aries stellium influence, he welcomes change and newness but, as said before, wants it to come naturally and at a certain pace). He'd be sure to be someone you could rely and depend on and would be as patient as possible with you. Would express his love through physical touch such as cuddling, resting his head on your shoulder, napping together and through spoiling you like paying for your meal, sending/bringing food and random valuable gifts at whatever time. HE JUST WANTS TO TREAT YOU RIGHHTT. Also would be very sentimental like he'd have photos, songs, posts and things saved or kept from when you two first met or started dating. He'd make the relationship so domestic oml. Ngl due to taurus venuses need for natural build up and the childish friendly nature of his aries placements he's probably a sucker for the friends to lover trope me thinks 😭
Gemini Mars: Oh he'd just love having one on one talks with you about anything interesting under the sun none of the convos would be surface level or shallow. He'd also flirt SM THROUGH TEXT every gemini mars dude I've known gets so flirty otp. Plus you wouldn't have to worry about the relationship having an air of monotony either. People claim that gemini mars people can be hot and cold but I don't think that's the case I think they're just aware that sometimes for a healthy relationship space is properly needed, so he'd let you have time to yourself/himself but with his taurus venus during these periods you wouldn't feel alone or abandoned because he'd still be there for you. Similar to Wonbin he could find your voice very attractive or a turn on. Gemini rules the hands, arms and shoulders so he may kiss you there or like to have some physical contact with them. Gemini also rules the lungs and nervous system so he might try to 'take your breath away'...take that as you will LOL.
Other Aspects:
Moon/Neptune Sextile: He is hyperaware of the feelings and emotions of those around him no matter how subtle they seem and also uses music as a vice so he'd use it to connect with you.
Venus trine Jupiter: He's naturally a giver and wouldn't be overly forceful, He honestly would nurture the relationship as much as he possibly could.
Potential Toxicity: (reminder that any/everyone is capable of having toxic or negative traits, these could be POTENTIALLY true)
Venus/Square Neptune: Is willing to go LENGTHS for a partner/people he loves but may take things a bit too far or do "too much" and once you try to explain that though you appreciate his efforts it's a bit much he may take it the wrong way and feel unappreciated or used.
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