#this show is not doing a lot to win me over
Text
✧˖° their ways of showing affection. | aalto, calcharo, lingyang headcanons.
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ synopsis: you're in love and happily with these wonderful men! but just how do they show their affection for you?
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ characters involved (separate): aalto, calcharo, lingyang and a gender neutral reader.
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ warnings: none!
⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ notes: another one! i love thinking about the little ways people show love , it makes me so happy ;v;! enjoy these little blurbs about how they'd love you! also, requests are currently open, so send them my way! also, i could not find a calcharo chibi drawing... ;;
ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ aalto ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅
knowledge is power! the more he knows about you, the more he utilizes it in showing his affection for you.
a big, BIG sweet talker. loves to flirt!
also big on compliments, find it cute when you don’t know what to say back.
a big spender in my opinion. oh, you liked that necklace but thought it was too expensive? surprise, it’s on the counter for you when you wake up the next day! you tried to win that plushie at the fair but it just didn’t work out? now you have 20 on the couch!
adores kisses, especially when you pepper them all over his face. (bonus points if you’re wearing lipstick, man is enamored to look at himself and see visually everywhere you smooched him.)
follows the sidewalk rule all the time. does not matter if it’s a safe area, he always is a bit protective in that way.
learns more about your hobbies and likes and begins to learn more about them in his free time. that way, when he sees you again, he’ll be able to engage in conversation with you about it.
loves the way that your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about, and stares at you a lot as a result.
likes to playfully scare you. he seems to have the ability to disappear and reappear as he pleases due to the mist, so he uses it sometimes to suddenly appear behind you and wrap his arms around your waist.
ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ calcharo ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅
not much of a talker, and kind of new to showing affection entirely due to his past, so be patient.
will wake up early and remind you to bring a jacket if it’s cold.
the type of person to also remind you that you forgot something, but by the time you turn around, he has the missing item in his hand.
will protect you if you’re scared of something. loud thunder? his hands are around your ears. scary part of a show? he’s using his arm to pull you closer to his chest to hide in.
will quietly work in the same room as you, enjoying your presence entirely as you and him work.
will sometimes ask those he knows around him for some advice about love, which is sort of strange considering who it’s coming from, but he wants to improve himself to be a better partner for you.
tries to apply the advice after, it’s a hit or miss sometimes, but always coming from a good place.
iffy on physical touch, but he will slowly come to enjoy the feeling of holding your hand.
he also does the thumb thing where you rub the back of a person’s hand with your thumb while holding hands. his favorite.
will let you play with his hair sometimes in the morning if he’s in the mood for it. even if you do something goofy like braid his hair or put it into a random hairdo, he’ll enjoy the feeling of your hands in his hair as he slowly stirs awake.
ruthless and cold in many other aspects of his life, he’s a gentle giant when it comes to you, and it’s endearing to see him try.
ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ lingyang ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅
will always love to eat with you, whether it’s going out or cooking with you.
^ always lets you have the last bite of the meal.
immediately looks for your reaction after he tells a joke with you, wanting to make sure that you enjoy his playfulness.
during the summer heatwaves, will use his glacio powers to help keep the both of you cool.
will sit in your lap and let you play with his ears as he rambles about his day.
loves yapping, and yapping in your presence as the two of you either bounce back and forth or you just listen, he likes both options.
loves hugs, hugs tight and for a long time, will not let go of you until you let go of him first.
will compliment your scent and comment on it if you change something up like your shampoo or perfume, usually the first to notice those small changes.
shares a blanket with you on cold days and cuddles with you for warmth.
will sometimes, after waking up, just admire your features because wow he got lucky because you’re his.
even if you wake up and your eyes are looking back at him, he does it without shame.
whenever someone talks about you, if they say something wrong, he’ll immediately interject. (ex. “they like strawberries the most.” “no no, they like peaches more!”)
does practice runs of new tricks and dance moves he learns for his lion dances, asking you about your opinion on them because it means the world to him to know you like the dance he’s so passionate about.
gets matching lucky charms with you and carries his around everywhere. “maybe we’ll win the lottery with this!” he tells you.
(he already did. after all, you’re his partner.)
#wuthering waves#wuthering waves x reader#wuthering waves headcanons#wuwa#wuwa aalto#wuwa calcharo#wuwa lingyang#wuthering waves lingyang x reader#wuthering waves calcharo x reader#wuthering waves aalto x reader#wuthering waves calcharo#wuthering waves aalto#wuthering waves lingyang#qi writes#calcharo x reader#wuwa x reader#lingyang x reader#aalto x reader
459 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thoughts about Striker being a "supremacist:"
On the surface, he's sort of a social class activist/ Robin Hood archetype. I think he truly thinks of himself this way. But when Blitz calls him a supremacist, who's he a supremacist against exactly? It's imps. This guy hates imps (and also identifies as one, even though he's clearly some sort of hybrid, which is interesting).
Let me show you what I mean. The short version is that he's the self-hating minority bigot trope, and it's executed really well.
"Blue Bloods"
"Disgusting, rich, pompous goetia"
"Some of us have everything we care about taken away by fuckers like you."
"You don't get to talk over me. . . all you ever do is try to talk over us."
"Once I split your neck open and let you choke on your own blue blood, you won't be worth any more than the tomb stone you'll be buried under."
So . . . first, he doesn't actually say a lot that's solely about royals, and ALL of the quotes above are about how royals look down on people like him, NOT about any inherent flaws that they have. They're about class, not race, unless you count "blue blood" as race. I don't. It's tied directly to money. "Disgusting" comes up in reference to Blitz's relationship with Stolas, but the words "rich" and "pompous" follow immediately. Striker hates royals because he hates that society places them above him.
Imps
"Pathetic."
"You little things aint worth the cleanup."
"Oh I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of, little one."
"Blitz, come on. You know the two of us are superior to most of our kind."
"I still think it's embarrassing. You're wasting a lot of potential relying on a weak little . . ."
"Vermin"
I think that this is where Striker's worldview comes into clearer focus. He thinks that Moxxie and Millie (and by extension MOST imps) are inferior to him. The word "vermin" is particularly telling. There's something visceral about his disgust for "lesser" imps.
I think Striker worries that they reflect who he really is. I think he truly believes that imps are inferior to higher class demons, and he fears that if he doesn't prove himself to be special (through violent dominance), he's vermin himself.
Notice how in the image below, his edge over Moxxie is all about size and physical strength- the things he implies throughout the episode make him the superior being. Look at that wide smile. He loves the feeling of being superior.
Relationships between imps and royals
"You are so above sucking on a disgusting rich pompous goetia . . ."
"kill the unkillable . . . starting with the one that treats you like a plaything."
"Blitzy"
"You two are both embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue bloods to begin with. But at least loud mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of being a little purse dog."
"This worthless little pet reeks of his over bloated master. I'll at least enjoy getting rid of him."
Striker clearly sees these relationships as imps lowering themselves. It doesn't seem to occur to him even for a moment that these relationships might involve genuine care because he sees all interactions between social classes as being about power and "who wins."
Notice that despite in theory caring about the power dynamics, Striker puts most of his shaming language on the imps in the relationships, and uses demeaning language to do it- "embarrassments, purse dog, little pet," as if they're at fault (for being used, in his view . . .?) and should be ashamed.
I thought about delving more into why Striker sees Blitz as closer to his own level, and I think it comes down to the things he values (physical strength, willingness to kill, detachment/independence), which are not the things that we the audience end up liking the most about Blitz. He misses the point of what actually makes our boy great, basically. 😍
I've spent a lot of time reading and watching videos about real life white supremacists because I like to be miserable, and . . . yeah, this character really shares their view that some people are inferior to others, and that the traits that make them inferior are inherent and immutable. The people he hates just aren't the ones he'd have us believe he hates.
#I saw a reaction video a while back that described Striker as extremely cool but also extremely uncool at the same time#and it really stuck with me#stiker#helluva boss#stolitz#fizzmodeus#moxxie#millie#blitz#blitzo#stolas#villains#i love well written authentically detestable villains <3#my helluva meta#been cooking in the back of my mind for a while#Now edited#Ugh why do I post without rereading?
203 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've seen a lot of really excellent analysis on Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession, but there's a huge aspect that I haven't seen talked about at all yet. And that is, namely:
Charles Rowland is a people-pleaser.
Doesn't seem like there's a connection there, does it? Have a seat, my friends. Let me break this down.
The show lays the groundwork for this aspect of Charles' personality early. It's one of the very first things we learn about him, in fact. He's kind and agreeable and helpful, and he's always, always smiling. When Crystal insults him, he laughs it off. When Crystal and Edwin fight, he scrambles to diffuse the situation. He calls himself "a good sort of a chap," and it's important to him that he is.
In episode 3, we find out why. At home, love was always conditional for him. He spent his entire life trying to please his father, and he confesses to Crystal that no matter how nice he was, or how good at sports, it was never enough. That's how Charles sees the world. If he can make people happy, he might actually be good enough for them to love him.
Not only didn't he earn his father's affection, he didn't even manage, in his own eyes, to clear the low bar of being good enough to earn the privilege of not being hurt. And his mother, he says, was "quiet." From the flashback we see, she never stepped in for him or defended him. However hard he was trying, it wasn't enough to get her to intervene on his behalf.
So who else does he have? His "friends"? The ones who literally murder him when he steps in to stop them from doing a terrible thing? The act he put on wasn't enough to win them over in the end, either. However friendly he was, however personable, they turned on him and left him for dead.
Then he meets Edwin.
And when he meets Edwin, he's at his absolute lowest. He's not smiling and putting on a show, for once. He's in a corner of an attic cowering while he slowly freezes to death. But here comes Edwin, offering him kindness, and company, and comfort.
All these things that Charles has spent his whole life chasing, trying to be good enough to earn? Edwin just gives them to him.
Of course he stays with this boy. Edwin is there when he's lost in the dark, shining a light to guide the way. Edwin has seen him unsmiling and afraid, not a shred of his usual act in place, and Edwin has offered him kindness anyway.
So they begin their time together. And what are the things Charles will pick up on almost immediately?
Edwin says right away that he's spent ages in hell. He's plainly had an awful time. He doesn't know how to handle people anymore, but Charles, he knows how to be amiable, how to smile, how to offer levity when things get grim.
So he does. He falls back into what he thinks Edwin needs, the way he always tried to be what his father wanted to see. In the very first episode, he tells Crystal, "I try to be extra happy for all of us, don't I? And I do a pretty good job."
He doesn't ever discuss his own trauma because these boys are terrible at communication, but more than that. He doesn't ever bring it up because he's busy being the support he thinks Edwin needs.
And importantly, Charles doesn't have the self-reflection skills to realize that's what he's doing. Crystal clocks him with shocking accuracy, three episodes in. "He's been hiding it from you," she tells Edwin. "Probably been hiding it from himself." She's spot-on here: when Charles doesn't want to examine his own emotions, or can't face them, he shoves them down under a smile and he carries on pretending.
But that's not the only thing Charles will have picked up on from Edwin.
It's blindingly obvious that Edwin is bad at people. He's terribly repressed. He's from a culture in which emotional honesty and physical affection were not valued or encouraged. But more than any of that, Edwin has his sexual awakening during the events of the show. Before then, he is absolutely clueless about his own wants.
So we have a situation where a consummate people-pleaser who has spent his entire life learning that he has to earn affection finds his way into a friendship with the first person who ever saw him with his mask down and gave him kindness anyway.
Of course he stays with this boy. Of course he wants to keep this.
And what's the best way Charles knows to win someone over? Well, by being what he thinks they want.
So, out come the smiles, for Edwin's sake as much as his own. But more importantly, out comes whatever Charles thinks he needs to perform, in order to keep what is the single most important relationship in his entire life and afterlife.
At this point, Edwin has shown zero romantic or sexual interest, not just in Charles, but in anyone at all. He doesn't especially seem inclined to dating, or to romance, or even to physical affection.
So Charles takes his cues from Edwin, and the cues are very firmly, for thirty years: this boy doesn't have a glimmer of interest in him, not that way.
Fast-forward to the events of the show. Fast-forward to a staircase in hell, where they are being chased by a literal demon. Suddenly his best mate, who he has spent thirty years with, who is his most important person in the world, is saying that he's in love with him.
Of course he needs a minute. Of course he has to sort that through. Any feelings he has for Edwin are things that he has spent literal decades firmly ignoring in the scramble to try and earn affection by being what he thinks Edwin needs him to be.
Because Charles is a people-pleaser at heart. And he may be dreadful at self-reflection, but he is aces at hiding things from himself.
#dead boy detectives#payneland#edwin payne#charles rowland#edwin x charles#dbda#dbda spoilers#meta commentary
150 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay i'm sorry for this but. you mentioning marc crying + showing hole on ig at the same time made me think. he would so be an overstimulation kinda crier.
he literally is thank you so much. genuinely before AND after reconciliation it’s like. he is genuinely crying by the time vale gets inside him. ummmmmm this got lawng. under the cut !
EYE think. marc has this insane ability to have this vice grip handle on his body and his reactions to physical input thereof… high pain tolerance high pleasure tolerance i would wager. think about how clear headed he is on track despite an INSANE amount of sensation and physical input and adrenaline… like it all speaks to his freak ass nature. you can’t just turn that shit off !!
SO it’s fun for MEEE to take that to its logical conclusion. sex with vale valentino rossi. where (at the beginning especially) he’s starstruck and responsive and sweet, but he’s also very clearly still ALL there. no getting lost in the hedonistic haze for marc— instead he’s absolutely DIALED IN on vale, cataloging information like a crazy person. he’s like. vale likes it when i move my hips like X and i incorporate more tongue here and just. trying to win at sex. make it good for vale make it good overall (ITS ALREADY INSANE MIND YOU). trying to get a good grade in fucking vale trying to WIN ! and i think it results creating a little competitive streak in vale where he NOTICES and. well he wants to make marc absolutely lose his god damn mind. and it’s not ONLY as a “winning at sex” kind of thing (trust that is at play. the crazy ego of getting there— the desire to see this hyper, neurotic, COMPETITIVE (a RIVAL. the fastest guy on track even !) guy CHILL OUT), it’s also coupled with grade A 100% pure and earnest horniness. crucially. it bothers him that his baseline effort gets marc there but doesn’t make him LOSE HIS MIND!! BEST HE EVER HAD!! crazy possessive streak he ABSOLUTELY doesn’t quite understand… he wants him to not be able to SPEAK… he wants the only thing swimming around in marc’s little intelligent fucked up noggin to be VALENTINO ROSSI in bright flashing letters… so. he sets about achieving that goal with typical rakish whimsy
so they fuck normal style and marc comes and it’s Good (knee wobbly) and he’s laughing like. jajaja okay now i will take a shower :3 and he’s got one knee off the bed stupid blue underwear in hand looking ENTIRELY too unruffled for someone who just got their back blown out by THEE valentino rossi… ass insane abs go crazy hair all over the place flush on his cheeks… just casually LEAVING the bed while vale’s still strung out breathing hard all sweaty from fucking and tangled in sheets lounging like a roman emperor. and that’s when the irritation meets competitiveness meets horny and some neuron fires in vale’s head and the switch FLIPS. and vale catches marc by the wrist. pulls him back. flips him against the mattress gets a thumb under his knee. marc shivers mouth like :o vale slings his legs over his shoulderssssssssss and he gets to WORK.
genuinely vale like. sorry nasty zone. getting him off as many times as humanely possible. relentless. fingers him blows him fucks him then eats his own come out of his hole absolutely NASTY. hickies on thighs thumbs on his nipple. marc doesn’t even know what to DO with all of it… and marc can handle a lot of sensation he LIKES a lot of sensation…. the things that would be WAY too much for normal people are justttt enough for our boy marc marquez… but his knees were jello forty minutes ago and vale’s got two fingers tugging on the oversensitive rim of his hole and his tongue is playing slick on the underside of his cock and vale’s STARING at him blue eyes clear and lasered in… and vale takes his other hand and presses his fingers, feather light against the outside of marc’s thigh, a caress, and marc is coming and his breath is catching and tears are hitting the light in the corner of his eyes like he’s an old hollywood star and he’s SO overwhelmed and loving it SO much and his head is EMPTY and he has maybe the most insane orgasm of his life. shoots all over his chest with a cracked open sob hands white knuckled on vale’s shoulders….. doesn’t leave the bed for ten full hours after that….
#it would be so rough if that sex tape got leaked though marc is not known for loving to share his vulnerabilities#outside of VERY controlled situations. anytime he cries (often) he’s like I DONT LIKE TO CRYYY IN FRONT OF PEOPLE#and then he does keep the footage in the documentary to reaffirm his humanity.#love you wrongboy#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
‘it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, princess. i’ve come a long way to see your beautiful self.’
you smiled meekly as you met the prince of another kingdom, your father set on finding you a husband that’d help you take care of the kingdom and your people in the future.
the prince kissed the back of your hand, staring into your eyes as you unsurely stared back, not wanting to seem ungrateful to your father as he put so much effort into this arrangement yet you couldn’t fully hide how u felt deep inside about this whole situation.
of course, the prince was handsome and strong, confident and with , had a good status and parents, the king and the queen who have led their kingdom strongly until now. he was perfect for you, in your father’s eyes, that is.
‘likewise, prince. shall i show you the royal garden?’ you responded, trying your hardest to be as polite as possible, not wanting to mess up your father’s reputation and disregard the effort he put into this arrangement even though you really wished to be everywhere but here.
you were so tired of all of the princes saying the same things over and over, coating their words with honey and trying to make themselves look like just the perfect husband for you.
sure, they were polite, they were wealthy and strong men you could count on. but after a while, it began to feel like a chore and you were forcing yourself to attend these meetings, knowing they were useless.
the prince has managed to place a subtle kiss on your cheek as you both sat in the garden quietly, your face almost scrunching in discomfort yet you tried your best to play it off and make it seem like you were oh so flustered and shy.
you noticed that during and after the prince has finally left, your guard and the kingdom’s knight was nowhere to be found. you noticed how he seemed like something was heaving on him days prior before the prince even came. you were so blind even though all of the answers were right in front of you.
you asked the maidens if they happened to know where toji was and they’d give you a soft look, all of them knowing how oblivious, oh so oblivious you were to the knight’s feelings towards you.
not that the knight was going around and telling the whole castle about how he felt but oh, it was so painfully obvious how dear u were to him. fighting for you and almost having laid his life down for you many times, protecting you the best he could.
‘he’s in the garden, love. please visit him, he can’t be there all night.’
you nodded, turning around and heading towards the entrance to the garden, sighing once you saw toji, sitting on a bench near a tall tree which began to shed its leaves, the cold season approaching slowly.
‘can i join?’
you asked softly, noticing how the knight didn’t even look your way but nodded, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, it being evident that there was something which was leaving a bitter taste in the man’s mouth.
he didn’t budge an inch once you sat down next to him, the silence unprovoked and somewhat mellow, both of you staring at the moon for a while, unsure how to break it.
‘i care for you, princess.’
you stayed silent, having a tight feeling in your chest but knowing that the knight wanted to say more, giving him the space that he so desperately needed, seeming like there was a lot that he wanted to say.
‘i’ve cared for you ever since the first day i met you and it pains me to see other princes try to win your heart. i know it is foolish and selfish of me to think like this but i cannot help but be jealous of them, of how close they get to you, how they can talk to you, have your attention for how long they please even though i can see they do not appreciate it. being able to hold you and kiss your hand is all i wish for and they seem to take it for granted. i would do anything for you, princess. anything to protect you, to keep you safe and sound, anything. just seeing you with another prince, makes me furious and i cannot bear to watch and pretend it doesn’t affect me. my feelings for you are greater than my pride which is why i cannot ignore them no longer. i know it’s selfish of me to say but i would do anything for you and i’m certain none of those men would care about you the way i do. i’m in love with you.’
you both sat there quietly, your heart beating hard that you could almost feel it in your ears, getting that nervous tremble in your hands, looking to the ground, not knowing what to say, there was so much you wanted to, but seeing the knight so upset, it hurt you so much that it knocked out the ability to speak for you.
the knight stood up, understanding that this conversation wouldn’t continue and all he wanted to say, was already said, leaving the garden and you with your thoughts scattered all over, your lower lip trembling as you played with your fingers nervously, wanting to say something so badly, maybe stop the male and tell him how oblivious and stupid you were.
but not a single sound left you but those quiet sobs, head tilted downward, hearing the man’s footsteps disappear into the night.
-
you woke up few days later, not having spoken to the knight since the night in the garden, your feelings so messy yet clear, not knowing how to approach toji as he seemed to put on the mask of the untouchable strong guard.
though you’d never notice the glances he gave you whenever you weren’t looking, longing for you, wanting to hear your voice badly, craving any sort of closeness or interaction with you.
you were supposed to meet the prince from last time again but the kingdom quickly learned your decision to cut contact between you and him, not giving any explanation to anyone and closing yourself off in your room.
you haven’t gone out all day, not even for your evening walk around the garden, the maidens having given up on trying to convince you to change your mind, accepting your decision.
a firm knock at your door made you turn your head, sat by the window and staring down at the pond which acted as a mirror for the beautiful moon, deep in your thoughts. all of them being about toji of course.
you let out a soft ‘yes?’ in reply to the knocks, turning your head back towards the view, expecting it to be one of the maidens yet again to try and change your mind.
‘i said i-‘
you stopped once you heard those familiar heavy footsteps and the door closing quietly. you would recognize toji no matter what. you stayed quiet.
he sat down next to you, your eyes meeting his for the first time since the night in the garden, your heart racing yet you kept your composure.
‘i came to apologize. i despise the tension i created between you and i and i hate seeing you like this, princess. i let my emotions get the worst out of me and lashed it all out on you. i understand my feelings are one sided and-‘
you couldn’t stand it. it was too much to bear, hearing the male apologize for something that didn’t need to be forgiven.
your lips gently grazed his for a brief second before the distance was broken by both of you, your hand immediately going to the male’s scarred cheek, caressing it as his hands went to your waist, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you so so close, never wanting to let go.
‘don’t talk any longer, knight. i don’t wish to hear any of it.’ you whispered against his lips, foreheads joined as you took his hand and held it close and oh so dearly, looking into his eyes.
he smiled at you sheepishly, it causing the corners of your mouth to curl up as well, glad to see this side of the male again. knowing you were the only one to experience this.
he took you up in his arms, your fragile frame now resting in his lap as he kissed you one more time, maybe to prove to his mind that this was no longer a dream but reality. reality in which he’d happily do anything to make his princess happy.
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dunmeshi characterization mumblings…
Laios tries. That’s the guiding principle of his characterization, to me. He tries more than he realizes. He thought he gave up during his years with the military but he never did. Something dragged him to Falin, after all.
He cares about people a lot and he wants to do well by them. This is usually specific people but also can be groups (eg the orcs or the residents of the Golden Kingdom). His hit rate on noticing what people like/want/need is not anywhere close to 100% but once he has locked something in he’s Locked It In.
He wants to be better than he is, and he isn’t always good at noticing what he does do well. Some part of him does want to run away, and he’s not always great at accepting that. He clashes with it, and doesn’t even always know whether he’s winning against it (framing his past of leaving Falin as running away when it wasn’t necessarily that simple). When he does self-reflect he can have a pretty dismal view of himself, and he prefers to act instead. This leads him to help as often as it leads him to step on toes, but it does very much do both. He’s working on getting better about this by post-canon though - on some level I think he’s aware that it’s not how he always wants to be.
He supports people by Physically Being There. Lots of worried dog laying their head on your lap energy. Voted most likely to stay by someone’s bedside until they wake up.
~
Marcille is still figuring out where she fits in the world. She's still figuring out who she wants to be. She can be extremely confident about some things, and completely doubt herself in other areas. She's got a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it charm. She DOES know what she's talking about, she just doesn't always know how to apply it. Very #gradstudentcore. She's still only just starting to explore the world beyond the safety of her parents or her school!
She has such a big heart and she emotes loudly, every time. That doesn't mean that she shows EVERYTHING she's feeling, but if she does show it, she shows it big. She loves romance and big gestures and the zest of life and people. She likes to meddle and snoop because she wants to know the whole story and wants to be in on it all. I think sometimes she might have trouble realizing that she's PART of the story, though. Like, she views her meddling gossip seeking as neutral or good acts, when they can affect people more than she realizes, and sometimes even hurt them.
In general she's not great at predicting the repercussions for her actions. I do think she reflects on herself, but sometimes she's trying to learn and do so much that some things get lost. She wants to be better, and she's always learning and growing and taking things in. I genuinely think that someday Marcille is going to be a little more sure of herself and a little more experience and she is going to be an AMAZING woman. She's just not always good at handling the fact that she can't just be THERE already.
She supports people by cheering them on. The force of Marcille Believing In You could give someone the power to move mountains. Yes, she does also fret and fuss over people in ways that can undermine that. But like the Marcille smile and "you got this" encouragement? Literally confers The Power Of Love.
~
Kabru... Kabru is building the future he wants to see. He's not very good at putting that work down, though (I know, workaholic Kabru characterization, deeply insightful). He can be prone to seeing himself more a part of the process of creating a better world, though, rather than a person who deserves to live in that world. Like, I think he'd be more likely to daydream about a statue or plaque dedicated to him than about himself actually just hanging out and being content.
He thinks about everything. I definitely don't think he's always manipulating people, but he is almost always observing. And since he's prone to following those observations to plans and ideas, he's not being great at turning off his Planning brain, and thus measures his words and actions even when he maybe... shouldn't be....
I don't think he'd describe himself as an "ends justify the means" person (he's very opposed to that way of handling things from the Canaries), but he is rather more concerned about the ends than the means. Bit of a hypocrite there, maybe? I do think his ends are kinder and more inclusive than the Canaries, though. So maybe it's something where he believes that if one has good enough ends, the means must be worth it. Especially since he directs the cost of those means at himself as much as possible. He views himself as expendable in pursuit of a worthy goal.
He is getting better about that but I don't know that he's consciously acknowledged that it's a problem. And so he's probably prone to relapse into those self-minimizing behaviors, especially given he very much has a new Goal to focus on with the kingdom.
Honestly, Kabru doesn't really self-reflect nearly as much as he might think he does. This is actually taking me a little by surprise as well. But he reacts more from emotions than logic in a few points in the story (esp the part where he stops Mithrun from killing Falin), and doesn't really... acknowledge that?
Maybe it's more accurate to say that he's kind of hit or miss with it. He is learning and growing all the time. But he's also something of a blind spot in his own excellent understanding of what makes people tick. Maybe he's better at understanding himself through the reflection of how other people see him.
He shows his support by making other people's lives easier. That might mean giving them a friendly ear, helping them navigate a tricky situation, or assuaging worries they didn't even realize that had. This isn't always true, but I think sometimes he might like some his support to be a little invisible. I don't think he has a problem with receiving praise and gratitude, but I also don't know that it does much for him, either. And being able to help without being noticed can help him hide the vulnerability of the depth of his attachment.
Also, Kabru would probably be more emotionally destroyed by one person helping him with something than a hundred people praising him for his help (but would claim he prefers to help and be appreciated for it).
#just some noodling! none of this is fully thought through I just felt like it might be fun to do some stream of consciousness writing#on these nerds and what I think they are like. and how I like to write them
60 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!
hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible
I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.
Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit
Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!
Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".
> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason
> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.
> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.
Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.
> I always do my best to think and be nice
> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so
> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting
Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.
Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)
Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.
Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.
Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.
What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—
(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)
#messyr#uhh HAHA! people n my environment -- is like- all fun and games until you actually start showing mentally ill shit yknow?#like whoa didnt know ur fkin crazy or like in a way theyll say or avoid bc they cant handle what theyre seeing#some stays to understand and help and i am VERY grateful for them.#bpd#no i dont mind answering questions like these#if anything i like sharing the experience bc ik other people are able to relate to it or have the same#at least they know they are heard and valid#comorbid conditions
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutout to woodrow burns. objectively hilarious guy that we absolutely need to talk more about!!
like. this guy is apparently interesting enough to have been talked about by optimus repeatedly (also they r canon friends), has traveled literally all over the world, has so many careers that his own family doesn't know what he does, can actually just. speak to animals?? and SO MUCH MORE. this guy is like such good blorbo material he's just in so little of the show.
i mean seriously he found out about the rescue bots because he was so boyfailure everyone felt bad for him and they just told him. optimus was there and everything and he was like "yeah sure this guy needs a win. tell him about aliens" and then they did!!
also super cool that woodrow is shown to be the most actively interested in cybertronian culture. he's constantly asking questions about who they are and what they can do, and it seems like the rescue bots actually enjoy that and like to tell him. v cute!!!
he has a lot of autistic/adhd swag also. like out of the humans i think he's the most neurodivergent coded. the show goes out of its way to emphasize his quirks and interests, and how he really just travels from one pet project to another. very reminiscent of a lot of irl neurodivergent people i know who have their ideal life as being free to work on whatever they like whenever they like, and being able to do a lot of different jobs during their life (pls sir teach me ur ways).
anyway woodrow burns is very slay and he's canonically bffs with optimus prime so u KNOW he gets mad bitches or whatever.
#rescue bots#tfrb#transformers rescue bots#tfrb woodrow#woodrow burns#tfrb optimus#tfrb optimus prime#tf rescue bots
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
2009 Hungarian Grand Prix - Lewis Hamilton(ft. Martin Whitmarsh, Mark Webber & Kimi Räikönnen)
+ Seb & Fernando post-DNF
#why did this end up just basically being a champagne post LMAO im sry but lewis and martin compel me(not in a shippy way? idk)#well tbh the tv direction for this podium kinda sucked imo there wasnt a lot of good clips to pull from#i like when they have TPs on the podium and they always have white shirts on and basically end up doing a wet shirt contest#anyways not a fan of this race 😭 all of my boys were suffering :') it hurt way too bad#at least a mark podium!!! he towers over kimi and lewis tbh 😵💫😵💫 im too obsessed with his height...#ALSO CAN I SAY! I hate when they keep showing the winning driver's partner...i really do not care 🙏#oh fuck and this is the race wknd where Felipe had his accident :( god that makes me so depressed still#lewis hamilton#lh44#kimi raikkonen#kimi räikkönen#mark webber#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 hungarian gp#fernando alonso#sebastian vettel#(sorry this is so foul but)#(i almost said Martin was dilfy but tbh hes only attractive from certain angles. straight on he kinda looks like a ghoul from fallout LMFAO#(but in these gifs at least...hes kinda 😳 but i cant in good conscious say that in the top tags so ill leave it down here)
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Listen, I don't think HBO Max was ever against Our Flag Means Death as such, but during the months of waiting for the renewal news, stewing in the fear and disappointment of past queer or queer-hinted shows being canceled or ignored by their distributors just because they were queer, I was passive-aggressively checking the likes over every single HBO Max tweet that came out, smirking with vicious delight every time an OFMD tweet went out that invariably got ten or even a hundred times the attention than any of the other shows they were trying to push at any given point, and part of me just hopes that there was someone at HBO Max who didn't want the queer little pirate show to succeed and they had to pick their fucking jaw off the floor when they saw the renewal announcement got 80,000 likes when most of their other tweets barely broke a couple hundred
#our flag means death#don't mind me being vindictive towards a most likely fictional executive at HBO Max#thing is I even liked shows like Winning Time#but I still seethed with hatred when they pushed it SO HARD on twitter when all I wanted was OFMD news#the ptsd towards homophobic executive decisions is still painfully real#thing is HBO Max actually hasn't canceled almost any shows#and with Taika attached even the initially lackluster reception probably never doomed it#quite the opposite I think the delaying the announcement after the popularity exploded WAS because it was doing so well#so it would have its own space to breathe#and clearly with filming in NZ they're going to get a lot of love from HBO Max going forward#I just like to think SOMEONE there who wanted to push stupid sports biopics over a queer little pirate show is pissed right now#and the money and popularity of OFMD is just twisting the knife into the wound of their wrongness#for verily i amst a spiteful bitch
156 notes
·
View notes
Text
last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here
#but.#even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16#i traveled across the country just to see her again#and it fucking sucked#she ripped that wound right back open#which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come#she made all the plans#honestly the train trip there was nice#i got to experience a lot of cool things#but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life#just nonstop#and now ive finally been away for awhile again#but i still miss her#& i dont know why#but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win#maybe it's just my roll#say all these nice things n then immediately flip#she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there#& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO...#like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it#but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe#but anyway. again. i stayed#over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay#n she'd do it again#until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH#she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried#but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done#but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster#even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating.#what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
treating my family friends like my cousins has 100% improved my relationships with most of them.....like i can finally admit that theyre annoying as shit sometimes but i will still love them forever <3
#idk it took the pressure off and now i look forward to seeing them. yaay everyone wins#i have family friends i am friends with (+ cousin dynamic) and i have family friends who are just family. and are so fucking annoying.#and 80% of my blood cousins dont show the same level of care that they do towards me n my family so well#especially after having so many weddings over the past few years its like ok we're never gonna be FRIENDS but its you guys who are going#to like....give me away when i get married. weird phrasing but yeah. anyway my girl is getting shaadi'd next summer its all hands on deck#she's annoying as shit too but she was really there for me once so i love her forever and will plan her sangeet and teach her white friends#aaugh its going to be a lot though she's. a lot.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
help girl (gender neutral) there’s a jansenist monk in my brain being mean to me
#not whump#personal#beans speaks#which is to say I’m fighting the moral ocd allegations and. well. not losing but I’d rather be winning.#obv I try to write abt the topics I do with care/a narrative purpose. idk just like.#the hyper vigilance of ‘am I writing torture apologia? am I writing about real world horrors for entertainment purposes?’ is getting to me#which don’t get me wrong I want to reflect on my writing I want to check myself if my post 9/11 right wing upbringing is showing.#I’ve been working on unlearning a lot of shit for a while and I’m happy to keep doing so.#just that sometimes I stress myself out to the point where (and I know it’s a cop out and not viable) I just want someone to tell me#if and where I fuck up instead of constantly screening everything I write for anything Problematic™#which like I said. not viable and I need to keep learning to keep unlearning everything I grew up in. but still.#sometimes I’m tired and scared of myself and don’t want to make anything that hurts anyone#and it’s easier to make nothing than to make something that I need to go over with a fine toothed comb#which again - that’s a cop out and I gotta keep making stuff. just. idk. having debates in my head abt how I depict things w critics that#don’t currently exist and maybe never will so I know it’s just a Bad Brain kinda day.#edit: lmao I figured out what triggered me I am literally just in an emotional flashback struggle trauma is so fucking stupid yall
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking
#listened to the oktavia cover again#feeling normal#teehee#)he I mean piper)#he’s so lower with many characters#“could you see the things I live for and show me if I’m doing great#<- him lyrics in general#i could probably make . an argument for a lot of them#mainly slater and Hilbert#but like . thinking . kurosawa too mayve#at least in the rpg AU.#guys when you are rivals and betray the party because of your insecurities#mainly stemming from said rivalry#wanting to be the hero because he wants to win against kurosawa. for once#so he decides to perform what the so called hero cannot bring themself to do. kill the poison#becoming the quote on quote hero because Kurosawa in adequate#(they’re both in adequate)#lower is so rpg AU in general the more I think about it#I’m very normal over this AU sorry#i haven’t talked about the story of this AU much so what I’m saying probably sounds insane
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I will preface this by saying that of course I’m a nandermo shipper so I’m biased but like
as a writer
I’m looking at this whole Freddie thing with like... increasing confusion. Like... the way to get your audience invested in a romance is to, y’know, show it? They’re hinting at it, but we’re not really getting to see any of the things that usually get fans into a romance. Not how they met, not how they got together, not how they actually interact, not their ship dynamic... It’s mostly been some generic phone endearments and Guillermo hanging up on him mid-sentence. Hard to get a handle on, y’know?
At this point, I’m guessing that there’s a very high likelihood that we really won’t even see the guy until the end of the season. And while hinting at a mysterious lover is great for a fuckin murder mystery or something, it’s not an effective way to get an audience invested in what a romance is rather than what it could be.
So at this point, I can’t help but wonder if we’re not supposed to be getting invested in it...?
Maybe I just spent too long in Big 2 comics fandom, but I know that a good way to get your fans annoyed at a new love interest is to have an established main character go from 0 to 60 about them with no build-up that the fans are actually privy to. Like, we know that the character has feelings for them, and that’s fine. But in order for the fans to have feelings about them, we also need to kind of fall in love with them, y’know? It’s easy to feel cheated and irritated with a character if the writers neglect that very important step.
When it comes to writing a romance, it’s just... not good writing... And I think these are not bad writers! So the only other thing I can think of is that they’re not writing a romance. Either what they’re actually building to is a storyline about Guillermo’s fucked up interpersonal skills and inability to ever actually be “normal” (highly likely, I think) or one where Freddie causes trouble (less likely, I think, though this show doesn’t really have normal people in it) or it’s going to be a story about Guillermo and Nandor in the end (which feels... pointed in the show itself, but seems unlikely from interviews?) or... I don’t know.
I’ve been trying to give both of these new relationships absolute benefit of the doubt (despite obviously not really wanting them to go well, lmao) because I mean! I’ve changed my mind on pairings that split up my ships if they’re well-written enough! I’ve actually spun dozens of scenarios for how these two relationships could work in my head. But yeah, it’s getting harder and harder with each passing episode. Both Marwa and Freddie feel more like plot devices in someone else’s story than actual characters at this point, and we are swiftly running out of episodes. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to see ways that each of these could become well-written romances. (Nandor/Marwa especially is dead in the water, I think.)
And I mean... These writers are so fucking good at writing romance when it comes to Laszlo and Nadja! That’s a pairing that we were also introduced to well after they got together, but they managed to show their ship dynamic so charmingly so quickly that you kind of feel like you’ve known them forever. So the fact that they’re just... not doing that... has me like ??? what are you planning??? because it sure as shit doesn’t feel like a well-developed romantic storyline! lmao
At this point, even if Freddie does stick around for s5 (not a thing I’m hoping for, mostly bc of narrative cohesion reasons which I went into with one of my last answered asks) his introduction has just been so damn strange that I don’t know if this can ever feel like an organic relationship...? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I realized at a certain point that it was because, based on how this is being used in the narrative, it’s starting to feel more like foreshadowing for a bad thing than a good one. Or if not a bad thing, then at least an explosive one?
I mentioned it in one of my last posts, but this is starting to give “Colin’s 100th Birthday” vibes. The way they keep bringing it up, but too quickly for any real information? The way that “Freddie” has been announced as the penultimate episode of the season, the same spot where Colin “died”...? This is starting to make me uneasy!
I guess I’ll just end with saying personally, I kind of hope that the thing with Freddie ends catastrophically just because I like seeing my blorbos Suffer but I acknowledge that’s probably less likely lmao. At this point, I’m just going to be happy if they have a greater plan here that isn’t just “dump an unintroduced love interest on viewers near the end of the season” because again, I just don’t find that narratively satisfying.
but damn, if we aren’t building up a romance, what are we building?? I keep trying to figure it out! ;A;
#god the fucking trauma I have from comics fandom#I do not miss THOSE days#Carlie became a big thing near the end of my time in comics fandom but it's rare to see a fandom hate a love interest that much#like EVERYONE from all walks of life hated that character#and a lot of it was that every character loved her but they never showed why#the first pairing that comes to mind that won me over#a het one no less#was ben and leslie in parks and rec#I actually shipped Leslie really hard with Ann!#and when Ben came I was like Oh No#but damn if they didn't win me over despite my best efforts#so like... I am willing to be swayed!#but y'all are not swaying me!#why... aren't you trying to sway me...#now I'm suspicious#lmao#wwdits#wwdits s4 spoilers#I don't know how to tag this actually I don't think it's really a nandermo post
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
i enjoyed getting heated over something silly for fun but im just now seeing some past distress ppl had over the poll on the blog & i feel a little bad haha i dont actually have any problem with ii or its fans like ive said i was one myself in the past
#being familiar with both ships though i still do prefer wataei#my 'complaints' were in the context of knowing about both of them and the shock of these 2 interests ever intersecting#i dooooooooo have a lot of opinions on ii as a show but none of them are like. 'you shouldnt like object shows cuz theyre dumb'#i got enough of that said 2 me by other people at the time#fan still sucks tho. worst character. microphone best character she deserved the win#when they go back to finishing season 2 in a decade's time they BETTER make the pickle/taco reunion happen in the next episode#the poll prompted me to watch like an episode of season 3 just to see what was up w it#and it was like fine. i watched episode 9. but i cant say it still holds my interest like it used to#especially not since s3 is an au and none of the plotlines are continued there#lol i remember when s2e12 p2 came out there was so much controversy#cuz paintbrush was eliminated that episode but it was also when they came out as nonbinary#i hope they make transgirl lightbulb canon still. that would be cool#paintbulb may not be my otp but they are t4t#all in all the thing about the osc (object show community) is that honestly its just a really sweet place over all#like its really lovely for so many kids to have a community where theyre encouraged to be creative and stuff#duh a lot of the shows arent gonna be good theyre being made by kids. but thats whats great about it#i like laughing over some stuff but i always feel the need to like say stuff like this cuz i think it sucks that people make fun of#stuff kids like to do so much esp as an autistic kid who was always made fun of for everything i liked#cringe culture definitely seeped into my bones a bit but i try to combat it
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
alfredowensdesmoines
AlfredOw
lourozwadowska
Lou Gorzkowski
z-blues
bye bye
callsign-rockstar
mav and roos enthusiast
goldenjeonggukday-blog
Happy Birthday, Jk!