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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

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alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

#text #long post #aotd spoilers #aotd critical

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snkpolls · 6 years

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SnK S3E08 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 368 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 352 Responses

84% of total respondents gave the episode a 4 or 5 star rating. The episode this week was overall considered very enjoyable!

kinda average,some cuts didnt make sense,lets see if the next one is good.

This episode was so great, I really enjoyed it! But there are still things that are bothering me.

This episode was fricking amazing.

All in all, one of the best episodes in the season for me, hands down.

I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the next ep.

Amazing as always! ❤️

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES WERE YOUR FAVORITES? 356 Responses

Eren making his move in order to protect his friends was the overall favorite scene of the episode. Closely behind is Squad Levi showing up to save Eren and Historia. Despite some upset about the change, the scene where Levi tells Historia she has to become the queen ranked third.

The hardest question for me to answer was what my most favourite scene was because frankly speaking, none of the “big” and “impressive” scenes made an impact on me. I just rewatched S2 and was blown away by how the last few episodes especially were so well done. I wish this season makes me feel the same way later on.

Historias Speech before Levi squad gets there had so much feels

WHICH CHARACTER INTERACTION WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 354 Responses

There were lots of good character interactions this week. Most shippers seemed quite happy with theirs. The most loved moment of the episode, however, was Mikasa joking with Historia that she should punch Levi in the face. Closely behind was Levi lamenting having to tell Eren to make a choice again, and in third was Historia’s speech while saving Eren.

ALL OF THE ABOVE. YOU CANT MAKE ME PICK ONE HOW DARE YOU

They cut it out T.T

Oof, too many can't chose. Historia and Eren, Mikasa saving Historia, Jean and Historia motivating Eren, Levi apologizing to Eren, Sasha and Eren, Eremin hand touch <3, Levi and Erwin, Hange and Historia, Jean and Connie stepping in for Historia.....

Historia refusing the plan to let Eren be eaten by Rod-EREHISU4LYFE

That beautiful "Danchou" made me WEAK.

I like two: Mikasa x Historia and Mikasa telling Historia to punch Levi.

Every Levi & Eren interaction! So many Ereri moments in this episode ~

Kenny

MikaHisu is sailing hard

Levi and Eren interactions were amazing ♥

bjitch you think I'm neutral enough about snk to pick one think again

Character moments and interactions are what truly make this series for me.

I really enjoyed Hange's contribution to the discussion about Eren's and Rod's fates. The music, the flaming titan in the background, Hange pointing at it, and the overall drama of the conversation was on point!

BEST TITAN STEAM WINDBLOWN HAIR: 357 Responses

Levi won this overall, but plenty of voters appreciated that we put Connie in the rankings despite being bald! ;)

ROD REISS’ TITAN IS ALL CGI - HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS? 356 Responses

Nearly half of voters were surprisingly content with the CGI and thought that it added more disgust and hugeness to Rod’s titan. Looks like WIT utilized the CGI well this time around!

Hi WIT what the fuck

I didn't really like the CGI in season 2, but to be honest I expected it for the turkey titan and holy hell does it look big 10/10

I don't mind it too much, but i think traditional animation would be better.

I remember this feeling of absolute horror and disgust when I first saw Rod Reiss' titan back in the manga but the memes over the years made me forget. Wit has very successfully brought those feelings to the fore again, and goddamn I get shudders even now and I've rewatched the episode twice already.

I'm halfway though... A part of me wanna see turkey titan moving. A part of me actually prefer worm titan coz it is more disgusting. Anyways CGI are overdone in this scene. Wonder if the face reveal will be as disgusting as the rest of the body

I was worried about it at first glance as the Colossal Titan in season 2 was too out of place, but it worked and probably helped that Rod’s Titan can’t stand upright.

It’s tacky but I’m here for it

Looks great in some scenes... kinda shitty in others :/

MEEEAAAAAATTTTLLOOOOOAAAFFFF

The cgi is disgusting but I like it like that. It's like your ugly child, you still like it. Plus if it's allows them to reduce the time and the cost of the animation I'm fine with it. I'd rather have an aime with a bit of cgi every year than no anime at all or a season every 4 years.

im scared

Yummy yummy meatloaf.

DO YOU THINK KENNY CARED FOR HIS SQUAD? 357 Responses

Overall, the majority of voters agree that Kenny cared about his squad. Only slightly less than half of those voters believe that he still valued himself more, though.

He was concerned for their safety but was also probably like "do you guys not have any self preservation?

Maybe? I don't know, lol. We didn't see him interact with them much.

Kenny probably cared about them a bit but didn't feel any deep bonds with them.

I think he mostly cared about Traute because she was his second in command, not to mention her nihilistic nature was exciting for him.

Idk

WHOSE PEP TALK TO EREN WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 355 Responses

HIstoria’s words to Eren while he was certain they were all going to die won for the best pep talk. Not far behind was Levi telling Eren to make a choice. Jean’s commentary about Eren never being able to do anything by himself also got a decent amount of votes!

YOUR REACTION TO EREN’S DECISION TO BELIEVE IN HIMSELF? 355 Responses

Overall, voters had a positive reaction to Eren’s decision to believe in himself instead of his friends.

EREN WAS GREAT AND I M SO PROUD.

Attack titan's big dick energy saved them all.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT JEAN AND CONNIE’S COMMENTS DEFENDING HISTORIA? 351 Responses

73% of voters were happy to see Jean and Connie sticking up for Historia. 17% weren’t invested, while others think that the scene was shoehorned in and unneeded.

Connie and Jean are definitely best boys (and underrated imo) and I loved that they gave them this filler scene but I feel like it would've made even more sense if they would've animated the wall scene from Chapter 51. Still loved this though. <3

Poor Connie, he didn't know what words to use. I'm glad Jean helped him out :) They're great friends.

I felt like they (WIT) messed up a great scene from the manga and didn't add anything of a value to that scene

It makes a lot of sense that Connie would jump in Historia's defense to prevent her from taking another role given that he was there to witness her shedding one during Utgard. And while Jean's is great, it works better at cementing his tumultous relationship with Levi and how he works as the voice of Springlestein.

While I like the concept of the 104th kids showing their concern for Historia, the dialogue pretty much spelled out Historia's character arc and felt incredibly forced and on the nose

It's a decent part of a scene that shouldn't have been changed.

On the fence because it seemed very filler

Connie and Jean r protecting their wife

WHICH OF LEVI’S DOUBLE ENTENDRES WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 352 Responses

It was a hard choice, but the majority of you appreciated those classic double entendres--with “That’s what I call hardening” taking the lead while 34.9% of you made us feel really attacked.

EREN MENTIONED INVESTIGATING HIS OLD BASEMENT IN SHIGANSHINA - WHERE’S THE KEY? 353 Responses

41% of voters believe that Eren is still in possession of the key but that the detail is simply overlooked Because Anime™. 30% believe the key was stored away for safekeeping due to the potential of Eren getting kidnapped. A small percentage believe that either Levi, Mikasa or Armin had it the whole time. A few of you think Eren is hiding it in less appropriate places and make us very concerned.

Shit. Fuck. I completely forgot about the key...

Erwin has it

I never noticed that even in the manga LMAO

Hell if i know

I didn't even care before this question and I won't start caring now lmao

Plothole

Stolen by Rod when they took his shirt. He just hasn't realized it yet.

this question is going to haunt me for eternity

Eren hid it in his asshole. No one would look there, that smart guy!

He keeps key in his ass

In his ass

up dat booty

HOW’D YOU FEEL ABOUT JEAN CALLING EREN A “TOPLESS WIMP” INSTEAD OF A SHIRTLESS WONDER? 356 Responses

The votes on this question were relatively balanced. Most voters just see it as a translation difference with no other meaning to it, while closely behind are those who preferred “shirtless wonder”. A small amount are looking forward to hearing how Funimation chooses to script this in the dub.

DID YOU MISS LEVI’S SALTY COMMENT - “JUST HOW SHITTY CAN THIS DAY GET”? 357 Responses

The majority of voters agreed that salty Levi would have been nice to keep around. 33% didn’t even realize the quote was missing!

more salty levi is required

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM ANIMATING THE COLLAPSE OF THE CHAPEL AND THE GROUND? 354 Responses

Nearly 77% of voters were thrilled to see the chapel and ground collapsing. 12% didn’t think it was all that special.

WERE YOU EXCITED TO SEE EREN’S HARDENING POWER ANIMATED? 356 Responses

65% of respondents were happy to see the hardening in action and thought WIT did a great job with it. 14% were happy to see it, but felt a bit underwhelmed. 11% preferred the mystery in the manga.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SCENE WITH EREN CALLING ROD TITAN A MIDGET AND PUNCHING THE AIR BEING REMOVED? 357 Responses

Nearly half of voters aren’t happy that WIT cut this detail out, because it showed that Eren can’t activate the coordinate as he pleases. 23% are confident that the scene will be moved to on top of the wall in the next episode. 14% didn’t care.

Why didn't they do the scene with Eren yelling at Rod's Titan?

I don't think that comment would've fit the tone of the scene. I'm hoping that it will be made clear that Eren normally can't use the power some other way.

I am so so angry that this scene was cut!! Not only was it HILARIOUS but it was a small moment of reprieve from the heavy atmosphere and I am so bitter about its removal!

I’m guessing they’ll be moving that scene to the top of the wall in the next episode

I’m okay with what WIT did, but it would’ve been nice too to see it animated.

I’m just salty it got removed. I personally thought it was hilarious and added comedic relief. Same goes for hange telling Erwin she’s ok - they really cut that scene down.

I miss that it was removed, but it was a bit comedic and would've added some flak to the scene

Very very disappointed. But not because it erased the hint about how the axe works but because of Levi's reaction! Goddammit wit not again!

I don't remember that one o.o I should re-read the manga I think XD

They'll probably move the scene to the next episode or have an equivalently expository scene later.

WE FINALLY GOT THE SCENE WHERE LEVI TELLS HISTORIA SHE NEEDS TO BE QUEEN - WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? 354 Responses

With the top two options being at nearly a tie, 25.1% still believe that the scene should have been included before the kidnapping - brutality included - and 24.9% were just happy to have it although the characterization of Historia and Levi feels changed. 23% agreed that the change was needed as Levi lifting Historia at this point in the story would no longer make any sense. 17% preferred the change and felt it gave Historia more agency over her situation.

Considering this scene took place after the kidnapping it wouldn’t make sense for Levi to get angry and attack her but the scene was pretty underwhelming compared to the manga. Although I’m just glad that this means we still get to see Historia punch Levi (even if he hadn’t really done anything to deserve it in this version).

I feel like Historia accepted her fate as the new queen way too fast.

They should’ve added it before the Levi Vs Kenny fight. It was important to both of their characters and I’m still pissed WIT cut Levi’s speech out.

While it would have been great to see a little more irrational side of Levi, the change fit in very well and helped establish the relationships of Squad Levi

It should have being either included in it original form before the kidnapping or dropped all together including payoff with punching and smiling. Now it makes little sense for Mikasa to suggest something like that or for Historia to feel that way, we also lost asshole Levi moment, which would had add a dimension to his anime version. But oh well.

They should’ve added it before the Levi Vs Kenny fight. It was important to both of their characters and I’m still pissed WIT cut Levi’s speech out.

Meh. Anime wants to have a cake and eat a cake. At least they are hilarious!

Why do you guys want to see a grown man throw around a little girl so much? Gross! Grow up! I couldn't be happier with the way that scene change went! As well as Mikasa's being the one to get Reeves' line about punching Levi - I think it both fits and is unexpectedly cute.

i wish they kept the scene like in the manga because it really builds up anger in historia that she later releases by her big AckerPunchTM

MIKASA TELLS HISTORIA TO PUNCH LEVI INSTEAD OF DIMO REEVES. WAS THIS A GOOD CHANGE? 357 Responses

At a pretty even split, the most votes went toward believing that the scene was okay, but still preferring the manga’s turn of events. 24% believed that the way WIT did it was funnier. 22% feel like Mikasa’s comment is out of the blue. 21% are just happy Mikasa saved Levi’s smile.

The feeling that I got from Mikasa's smile/smirk was that she JOKINGLY suggested that Historia hit Levi, mostly because she's not his biggest fan and she enjoys messing with people (for example, eating the bread in front of Sasha, and the funny expression she elicited from Historia by saying this). Mikasa is going to be surprised (and ofc delighted) when she realizes Historia actually took her literally lmao

Why did Mikasa told Historia to punch Levi? Historia has no reason to punch him since he did nothing to her. It doesn't make any sense for her to hit him just because Mikasa told her to, or at least it has so much less meaning than in the manga��

About the punch, I still prefer the way the event happened in the manga but IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT NOW WE KNOW WE GONNA SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL SMILE

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 358 Responses

32% of voters are pumped to see Rod’s gruesome titan face looming over the wall. 25% are excited to see Eren punch the brat out of himself, 20% are ready for Smol to chat with Tol an 14% are looking forward to seeing Eren fighting in his titan form again.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

A lot of people yelling at WIT. Sure, I miss some of the exclusions too but the pacing change was needed and stuff has to be cut. The important bits of the story are still all there. I think they're doing a fantastic job and I'm almost sure Isayama gave his thumbs-up for all the changes.

Thanks wit for giving us so much mikasa this episode. My daughter deserves all that screentime ❤️😍

i get meatloaf titan and eruri. i am a happy boi.

The soundtrack was fuking amazing 😚👌 as always

Since there were no questions about the soundtrack I'll use this place to try to convert everybody to the Sawanism. God the music was a masterpiece!

The CGI worm titan was such an alienating thing to witness that it took away from the horror of the situation. It might have looked really hideous as this creepy-crawly giant thing of a titan, but sadly it just didn't work. On second viewing, it didn't bother me as much as the first time, though, so I guess one can get used to it.

I don't know if any of the music was new or not but wow!!! It made those scenes feel so much more emotional

RIP Traute Caven, our nihilist queen

Levi is a much sweeter version of himself in the anime, I've noticed. In fact nothing is as dark as it was in the manga. But Accordion Titan is way creepier animated so no complaints there.

I'm kinda disappointed that WIT remove some Frieda flashbacks, (last episode with the possessed Frieda scene missing, and here Historia not thinking about her alongside Ymir) it reduces the impact she has on Historia's life/development.

I was watching it in the night, so it gave me some double thrills :D Rod's titan was really creepy and Sawano's music made him to be even more scary. In my opinion the animation was awesome. It looked much better than I expected. The whole extreme moments in the cave was also amazing and I truly liked them.

For once WIT did eremin some justice with their reunion touch (my heart!), every mikahisu moment was perfect (yes, even the one at the end where mikasa tells historia to punch levi) and I ADORED that they gave historia so much agency in her decision to become queen! Honestly if I had to watch Levi rough her up at this point in the series, I probably would've vomited. It would've been incredibly unnecessary (which is likely why isa changed it, don't y'all think?) and this way was SO MUCH BETTER. Plus jean and conny being so concerned for her was THE BEST THING EVER, they're just like "but dad, what about my friend's FEELINGS?" and I LOVED IT. That's snk at its core tbh. Historia definitely deserves it too. And her power walk into the briefing room afterward was everything! In conclusion! Eremin is real! Mikahisu is real! And erurihan is fuckin real! That "danchou" had me FLOORED and we already know how much both erwin and levi love hange so like.. get with the winning team y'all.

Armin described the moment Rod's titan came out from under the chapel as something like "the end of the world". Between the music and his nightmarish CGI look, I was sold on that description. Oh, and since I mentioned music, Sawano's at it again, the absolute madman! Will he ever stop coming up with good tunes? The answer is never.

My ovaries are ready for wet cast in next episode!!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 337 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again on Tuesday!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s3 #poll results

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magicallyclueless · 5 years

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rereading a farm in the forest: a ramble pt 2

I’m going through my fanfic again so that when I resume writing, I don’t forget anything important. Comments/feedback also welcome.You can read my fanfic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470858/chapters/16977999 There will be spoilers in these rambles if you want to read but haven’t. I’m gonna start putting ‘read more’ in these, but hopefully you still check it out. ty love u smooch

Chapter 11-20

Things I Liked

- The descriptions are getting better, particularly environments. I felt like I did a good job with environments, especially the cave.

- Chapter 11 had pretty solid grounds and is probably the chapter I look at the most, in any situation, lmao. I got stuck for a while because I ended up doing some things differently, but with how I’m doing the tasks, it’s a lot of fun and I’m excited to show off the last 2 tasks.

- I remember working really hard on those action scenes and they look pretty good to me! I like how I made the bugs/slimes more in tune to their environment and they pose an actual threat beyond how a health bar would be in-game.

- I love how Jade justifies getting her farm animals. I dunno, it’s just cheesy but in a funny way. Like in real life it would be much harder to be a breeder or a farmer or anything, but it just fits the world in a silly way.

- Sebastian and Jade’s talk in chapter 19 felt extremely Sebastian to me, which is good. Especially in the earlier chapters where I felt like he was talking too much, writing from his perspective in this chapter felt great and I enjoyed how I used him. I still hate how I chose the third person omniscient perspective since it’s more of a cop-out for me (it’s my first fanfic ok), but it gave me the idea to write for Sebastian.

- I forgot how frequent Jade’s nightmares were and that they were so early into the story. I know this was a big push for her to get along with Alex, so I like that, especially since she traditionally wouldn’t get along with him.

- I did laugh at some of my dialogue not gonna lie. Especially Sam

- Maru’s development as a character has been really nice. I feel like she often gets the short end of the stick especially since Sebastian is the more popular bachelor in the SDV community. Even though Sebastian is my True Husbando(tm) I think it’s important to show that Maru has her problems too.

- Jade’s flaws start showing, which I think is important. It’s a lot easier to tell who she is as a character, and that she has more than “is kinda sad but excitable”. She’s a very reckless person despite caring about others, and also does stick her nose in people’s business too much, even if she feels justified for doing so Things I Didn’t Like

- THE PLURAL FOR JUNIMO IS JUNIMO. “JUNIMOS” IS IN MY WHOLE FIC. HOW CAN I CALL MYSELF A FAN

- Sebastian and Jade becoming more comfortable friends went by in a blink of an eye to me. I swear to God I read all the way through and I just don’t know how they became comfortable to the point of saying memey things to each other. I would have made the transition slower, or if I could go back (I won’t or else I’ll rewrite the whole story lmao, I need to at least finish it) I would make a first text chat between them and also tone down the memes a smidge.

- Some of the dialogue felt a little unnatural this time at the expense of jokes, and I wish I noticed this. I think I was too proud of the jokes I made to really go back on it. Especially since I tried to establish serious themes in the undertone (the nightmares, the stalker) from the beginning, I don’t want a massive genre change even if I’ll still have lighthearted moments.

- While I’m on that note, kind of a rant about earlier chapters still, but I shouldn’t have brought up anything about a stalker. To me, Jade was paranoid about a specific person and covered up the truth some to avoid getting too deep into it, but this is the only time I wrote the word “stalker” and I should do literally anything else. I think that confuses the story I’m trying to tell especially since she openly talks about it later. I might literally go back and change stalker into “someone” instead.

-While I think the dialogue in Ch 18-19 were done well, the descriptions of Jade from Sebastian’s perspective was overdone for me. I really should have skipped describing her face, because that felt like shoehorning in a romantic narrative. I think Chapter 19 was when he started to get a crush on her, but if I rewrote it I would have made it a little more subtle.

- I think a lot of it is my humor changing, even if it’s only been a few years. I had different friends and different experiences which I think influenced my humor a lot compared to now. I’m not as big of a fan of the campiness the earlier chapters had, so if I could, I would make it a little more natural/realistic. I do think that most people probably don’t care about this, but it’s just how I feel at my own work really

Overall

I think while the dialogue was consistently great in 1-10, the dialogue was hit or miss in 11-20 mostly because of the jokes I tried to make. I think specific chapters were WAY better than the previous 10 however, and my descriptions (especially environments) improved quite a bit. The characters are making more connections with one another. While I wish I made the transition to friendship with the squad a lot softer, I know I won’t have to worry about that kind of development all too much in the coming chapters. I’m hoping the next chapters progress much better than this and feel as natural as it did when I was making it. I didn’t feel that much this time sadly.

#text post #long post #fanfic #farm in the forest #rambles #self reflection #self feedback #stardew valley

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