This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. It was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart—or was it Wylan’s?—like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh.

Please do not use, edit, or repost my art without permission.

20 questions for fic writers

Big thanks @artsyunderstudy and @prettygoododds @confused-bi-queer @bookish-bogwitch tagging me in this! And to everyone else who's tagged me in a tumblr meme recently. It's been a while since I've done one of these.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

33!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Around 370k, but of those about 40k aren't mine. So in reality, something like 330k?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Carry On! I don't have the attention span for more of one at a time lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. How I wonder what you are aka baby fic

2. Mess is mine aka secret dating fic

3. Every little helps aka snickers fic

4. You and I will not be shaken aka huddling for warmth fic

5. From across the room aka my FIRST fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I don't 😭 which makes me feel guilty and ungrateful, but alas. Every time I've tried to in the past, I'd run out of steam after half a dozen comments or so. Don't get me wrong, I love comments, they fuel me etc etc. Replying just makes me unreasonably anxious

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Technically it's Love of Fate because it doesn't have an ending. It was supposed to be a prologue to something longer that would eventually have a happy ending, and that I simply never wrote lol

That said, the true angstiest ending is probably my All there's left is a ghost of you series - same moment, one from Simon's pov, the other from Baz's. Set between carry on and wayward son, which tells you everything about why it's here :) (Although arguably, those are hopeful endings. Kinda.)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost everything I write has a happy-ish ending, but the one indisputable happiest ending is probably How I wonder what you are

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not necessarily hate, but one time I did get someone mocking my fic for a mistake I made. Which, like, I deserved, for straying so far out of my comfort zone lol

Anyway. I have upped my research game since, so. Lesson learned?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! The kind I want to read lol

Seriously, though, I tend to write weird stuff I can't find elsewhere. Someone once mentioned there's little mirror sex fic in the fandom, and BAM! I got the itch to write one. I've also tried my hand at web cam sex, body modification, and... [reads smudged handwriting] cemetery sex?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't yet, but never say never, right? Although I'm much more likely to just write AUs instead. As in, take the world of the original, chuck the characters and just replace them with snowbaz lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Probably not? I mean. I hope so lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I've thought about doing it myself, but there's roughly any engagement with fics in Portuguese on AO3, so it doesn't feel worth the trouble

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Birthday man! Though I might be open to it if a) someone with a compatible style is interested, and b) I find some free time to actually write lol

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Do I even need to say anything? (It's snowbaz)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sigh. It's probably Let your colours bleed, because It's been 3 years, so I've just... sort of grown past the story? Which makes me sad, because I still like the concept, I just can't connect to anymore

There are a handful other WIPs still hanging on my ao3, but I still have hope for them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like writing plot! And also actions scenes. And banter, maybe a bit too much lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The beginning of a fic. And also the ending. And also the mid-

Seriously though, I find that I tend to be either too verbose or too succinct when I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say. Like, I either charge through it and the thing falls flat, or I drag it on for several paragraphs that amount to barely anything. Hopefully, I can mitigate that with the power of editing and beta readers

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it's cool depending on context! Like, is this a situation in which this character would simply switch to another language? Also, why?

I haven't done it yet, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Take a guess. (It was actually Harry Potter)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Dance Like a Flame! My specialest baby. My little darling. My magnum opus.

I'll jump at literally any chance to talk about this fic, so beware.

Phew! Can't believe I actually answered one of these for once... now, I'm pretty sure almost everyone has done this already, but I'm going to tag a few people anyway just so this doesn't get lost in the abyss

@palimpsessed @captain-aralias @cutestkilla @larkral @aristocratic-otter @hushed-chorus @whatevertheweather @ivelovedhimthroughworse @whogaveyoupermission

Tagged by @aintgonnatakethis and @judgeverse

Thank you! :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

88

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

802,066

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I'm a serial monogamist as far as fandoms go, concentrating on one at a time until I move on to the next. Over the past 15 years I've written

Star Wars (Prequel trilogy - all about Qui-Gon Jinn)

Tolkien fandom (all about Celeborn)

Pirates of the Caribbean (started off with Commodore Norrington/Jack Sparrow, couldn't make it work for me and jumped sideways into Norrington and Lt. Gillette)

Marvel - (the Thor movies reactivated a nascent fascination with Loki, so I dragged a whole bunch of mythology into the MCU fandom.)

Stargate Universe (all about Colonel Young)

Star Wars (Sequel trilogy - all about General Hux)

The Untamed (all about Jin Guangyao)

I've also done a couple of little shorts for Torchwood, Motive and Talented Mr Ripley

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Kindness Repaid - in which Loki and Captain America become friends

Supervillain Honeymoon - someone wrote a fic in response to A Kindness Repaid in which Loki and Steve got married, so I had to write a fic in response to that, in which I figured out how the Asgardians and the Avengers would take the news

The Same Last Name and the Same Coloured Eyes - in which Jin Zixuan decides to be a good big brother to Jin Guangyao, and averts most of the tragedy of The Untamed as a result

Defying His Doom - in which Doctor Doom inspires Loki to improve his public image, and they end up winning a Nobel Peace Prize.

Stepping Stones - an epic Stargate Universe fic I wrote with @seekingidlewild, in which an accident with the communication stones leaves Rush and Young bodyswapped and all communication from Earth cut off

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course I do! I've met all my best fandom friends by chatting with them in the comments of fic (mine and theirs.) Also who doesn't love talking to people about their writing?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to avoid angsty endings if I can. That said, it's probably Battle of the Golden Wood which ends with Galadriel and Celeborn saying goodbye, as she leaves Middle-earth and he refuses to follow.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to say - I tend to make them all as happy as possible. If I can save the world at the same time, I'll do that too. Maybe Seeds of Old Trees, which gets Celeborn and Galadriel back together and sets Tolkien's elves on a path towards a future of exploring outer space.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have had some rude and entitled comments. People trying to convince me that my blorbo is actually a terrible person who should be locked up (SGU) or that my understanding of the lore is faulty (Tolkien) and therefore I should have written a different story from the one I actually wrote. But I wouldn't really call that hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Heh, it's funny. I came into fanfic repressed and writing gen. Then I unpacked the repression, had about ten years writing slash, during which I discovered the queer community, wrestled with God and came out as an asexual queer Christian. Then I leaned into the asexuality and ended up writing gen again.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

In general I don't, but the craziest one is also the only one I've written - Strange Meetings in which Qui-Gon crash lands in Middle-earth and meets Legolas. They were going to go to the drowned ruins of Doriath and recover a Silmaril, but I lost interest after a couple of chapters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

The same last name and the same coloured eyes has been translated into Russian, and I think one of my Tolkien fics was translated into Chinese, but that was on a non-Ao3 site.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Absolutely! I wrote a number of Elu Thingol/Celeborn fics in the Tolkien fandom with Mirien, and Stepping Stones (where Rush and Young are bodyswapped, and Skipping Stones (where Young is age-regressed into a child) with @seekingidlewild

I loved it! It's a great experience writing with someone whose writing you already enjoy. Lots of bouncing ideas off each other and excitement - and of course it's half as hard and twice as fast as doing it all yourself.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I don't think I have one. I'm honestly a single blorbo at a time writer, and I will read and write fics in which that blorbo is paired with just about anyone. I'm not particularly bothered which ship they're in.

I do have a soft spot for Rush/Young though, because they have such in-your- face dysfunctional obsessional chemistry on the show. And in contrast I also love Xiyao (Lan Xichen/Jin Guangyao) because they are so obviously in such a gentle, radiant sort of love, that I choose to believe would have survived the revelation of Jin Guangyao's multiple murders.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I would have said Do Not Bear Grudges, which was going to be my JGY resurrection fic, but it fought me so hard that I ended up deleting what I'd already written and I'm glad to have it gone.

I still vaguely wish that I had finished The Stolen Ones however, which was about Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi and was jossed by the Jedi Apprentice books. (I still think mine was better.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at description/settings/worldbuilding, and I often have an unusual take on things due to my non-neurotypicalness.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not great at giving each character their own unique voice, so my dialogue can get a bit samey. Also I forget that characters can lie - all my characters pretty much tell the truth all the time, which makes it difficult writing the kind of sneaky characters I so love, like Loki, JGY later movies!Hux and even Rush.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I could not do it. Massive respect and kudos to anyone who writes in a second language. It is beyond me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, when it first came out. The internet was on dial-up and fandom was on yahoo groups. It was the first time in my life I'd ever been able to speak to other sci-fi geeks like myself. An amazing experience, and good times!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I know it's cheating a bit to choose more than one, but these three hang together as a series, telling the story of Celeborn and Galadriel from first meeting, to tragic parting and final reunion Oak and Willow, Battle of the Golden Wood, and Seeds of Old Trees. At about 140,000 words, it's a good size novel. And of all the characters I've stanned over the years I still feel Celeborn needed me the most. (Though Colonel Young comes a close second there.)

tagging @seekingidlewild @darthlenaplant @darthnostra @wyomingnot @gamebird

and anyone else who wants to have a go! :)

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @wellbelesbian for the tag! Here goes:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

... 162. what the FUCK.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,323,028. WHAT THE FUCK

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well, almost half of those 162 fics are Glee fics. My other two bigger fandoms are Check, Please! and the Simon Snow Series.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Everything will be alright, the only Brooklyn Nine-Nine fic I have ever written.

All shall know the wonder, probably my favourite Check, Please! fic that I've written, so hooray!

The last to know, which was a reaction fic for the end of year 3 of Check, Please!

How lucky we are to be alive right now, which is my first ever Carry On fic and I don't even like it that much anymore, but I guess it's the origin story yada, yada.

The 2020 Young America New Year’s Eve Gala, my sole Red, White & Royal Blue fic. I wrote it in 2020, but thanks to the movie, it got a lot more views and kudos.

I am actually surprised (but also not, I think I have seen this before) that there is no Glee fic in this list. My Glee/Klaine fic with most kudos is the 15th on the list!!! (It's Myosotis sylvatica, by the way.) (My goddamn Love, Victor fic is higher on the list WACK!!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No. I do read all of them, but I always feel super awkward responding. Idk. It's a me problem, I guess. So I only respond when I have something specific to say or if a comment totally blows me away and I want to at least acknowledge that. Although... I am behind on that as well.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. Does Your heart is in your chest again, not hanging from your sleeve count? It's a Next to Normal AU Klaine story, and if you know the musical, you know.

There's also My rose-coloured boy, a pre-Wayward Son Snowbaz fic that shows that Simon is not dealing with shit and it has an unhappy ending, I suppose, but it also fits in canon so does it count, because in canon, the entire Snowbaz story does have a happy end.

OH WAIT A HOT MINUTE THERE IS ALSO MY WIP Dalton 8 Days of Wrath. That fic is supposed to be Sad Shit Only!!!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love writing happy endings, so I am not sure which one is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, luckily.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. I uhhhh have a whole ass essay on why I don't.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I am one of those "how can I Klaine-ify" bitches. The craziest is probably my Glee/Animal Crossing fic Wandering. I don't like it THAT much, but it was fun. I also had a very extensive, not-published Glee/Barbie Mariposa and the Fairy Princess crossover (yeah) once.

And I've been talking for ages about how I will one day write a Glee/Winx Club crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I unfortunately assume that it's happened, since ya know, AO3 scrapers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I know someone wanted to translate Charms & Pearls into Italian, but I don't know it's happened. @klaineship2 also translated one of my Hearing verse fics into German: Musik nur, wenn sie laut ist. I once read this translation out loud and sent it to my German friend @vreniii and I may have hurt her ears.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Call Me Maybe, my aroace Agatha fic with @captain-aralias and Stage Fright, a Halloween Klaine fic with @spookyklaine, @esperantoauthor, @justgleekout, @snarkyhag, sopheadraws, MissFlurry and keyiqiang.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

(Yes, Alex, I still say OTP.)

Klaine. Look, I will be a Klainer 12 till the day I die. You will catch me crying over Teenage Dream (gcv) at the nursing home.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have... so many WIPs. So. Many. WIPs. I don't want to give up on them yet.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I can write dialogue and that I can be pretty funny.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Alex, I so feel you on the second hand embarrasment thing with sappy stuff. I also bitch a lot about not being able to write romantic endings. I also have struggles with describing movement.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean. I have done it before, most noteably Paradiso, aap noot mies and Ik was meteen ondersteboven., so I am down for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published? Glee.

When I was a wee child writing stories about other media, Winx Club and Harry Potter, although I never published those.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

OH. Oof. In no order, split by my 3 main fandoms (because I cannot narrow it down!):

For Klaine: Myosotis series (especially part 1 and 5), Mendacious, I’d cry a river just for you, All the pretty things that we could be and Ljubim te.

For Snowbaz: Paradiso series (especially part 1 and 3, rip part 2), Time After Time and make a fire out of this flame.

For Zimbits: All shall know the wonder and Center Ice.

Forgive me for not tagging anyone. I am taking the lazy "everyone is free to do it!" approach because I am tired!!!

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @jattendschaton for the tag!! (see their answers here for links to their nice fics & all 👀) I'm not sure I can be considered a writer still with how little I'm doing nowadays but I appreciate you thinking so 😂

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 25

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

95,070

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only ML !

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Compatible, We'll be together, always. , A little push, Kiss shy and Of silver and pink

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Usually yes but I haven't been good at it lately 😬 I like letting people know I appreciated them commenting, but I've been pretty lazy these days so I haven't answered much (or sometimes I see a comment and it's been posted weeks ago and I feel awkward answering so late after dfjhjdf). But I do read every comment and I appreciate greatly people taking the time to do so 😭 I've noticed a few times recently same readers commenting a few of my fics at once or in only a few days and big love to you all, thanks so much ♥︎

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oooh most definitely the one I wrote this year which is we'll find your new colour

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have a very happy ending but I guess one of the fluffiest and most heart-warming one I wrote was A game of pretend

Rest is undercut!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I can't remember getting any right now. Maybe most I got was someone correcting my grammar and that was it, or some confusing bookmark comment that I can't remember exactly.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. An idea stolen yes I believe but that's kind of it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I think someone translated 2 of my fics in Russian

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don't recall so.. I think there were plans with people but it never led to anything.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lovesquare definitely!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have an aged-up Ladrien/Ladynoir one shot wip that I'm afraid will never see the light of day. And I really really want to finish ask her (me) out, also because it's a gift to a fandom friend, but I'm afraid I'll never get to sit down and finish it. We'll see, you never know maybe one day I will 😂

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uuuhh...... I think I've been told I have good dialogues or that I'm good at making the characters seem in-character? But I'm not sure hahaha you'll tell me

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm bad with description among other things

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Okay so I will say: if some characters are switching languages and the reader isn't supposed to understand the language picked and it's short, then yes (or if the reader needs to understand and there's a translation)! Otherwise personally not too into it. For ML, especially random words in French thrown into the dialogue or the text in general with no translations and for no reason (a nickname or something / swearing for instance then sure I'm fine with it and do it sometimes too, but I've seen in some fics at times the most random words/sentences translated to French and it's always thrown me off a little. And sometimes no English translation of these words are offered - at least I'm French and can understand but someone who doesn't speak French might just be confused hahaha). But that's my personal feelings about it, I understand why some writers like to do it and I respect that & it shows how dedicated they are especially when they're not French themselves so don't feel bad if you do it yourself!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ML again haha

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

That's hard.... I think Compatible is one of the fic I had the most fun writing. Today I'd def write the introduction to the fic very differently because it's a lot of "telling not showing" before getting into the fic, but the dialogue and banter in it was a lot of fun to write

tagging if you feel like it & weren't tagged before : @cakemousse @ladynoirist and @2manyfandoms2count !

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @kasienda for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

The current number is 51 and honestly? it still blows my mind.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

151,239, made up almost entirely of one shots lol.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

There's a lot of them but in recent years, it's mainly been miraculous ladybug, my hero academia, and the occasional percy jackson.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'M HIS BEST FRIEND (no, it's me!) (MHA)

A Preposterous Predicament (ML)

Mind Outta Body (FT)

Ma Douce Souffrance (ML)

my colours on you (ML)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I'm really good at responding right after I publish a fic. It's afterwards that I sometimes forget to respond, or simply don't have enough time to respond. I always appreciate every comment I get though!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angstiest ending huh? A bunch of my fics are angsty but the one that I think ends in the most angst would have to be dance with the devil, drink with the demons, without it being outright whump lol.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happy? Happy. Um....I'm gonna say party like it's your heroes' birthday just because there's a party and it's sweet and yeah lmao. It also has the wholesome family/friend vibes that keep me from forever being confused about the correct fluff to angst ratio.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've been extremely lucky and have been able to avoid it for the most part. That's not to say I've gotten no hate ever, but it was minimal enough that I pretend it doesn't exist. Fervently hoping it stays that way!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Maybe. No. The idea has crossed my mind but I haven't been able to write it as of yet. Maybe I never will. Who's to say really?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Kind of? I did it exactly once. But not in the traditional way, it was more of a, "take the world-building idea of percy jackson and put it into a fairy tail quest" so I'm not sure if it actually counts.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. Or at least I hope I haven't!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I was asked once, many moons ago, but then they never got back to me, so I assume they dropped the idea.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No? Unless we're counting those fic fights/telephone things where one person starts and another takes over. There was also this one time, I was writing a fic with a few others but we never managed to finish, so I don't really count that one.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time? And I'm only supposed to pick one?? Next time, give me a tough question, will ya? Wow uh, I don't know if it's my favourite ship, perse, but it is the ship I've shipped the longest + one I've actually written for, so I'm gonna go with lovesquare. *shrugs* probably typical of me, but it was the only ship to get inside my head so badly that I've written over a dozen fics for them, instead of more gen stuff, which is my usual go-to otherwise.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Well, if we look at my gigantic list of unpublished fics, there's probably plenty of WIPs to choose from there. As for published, well I don't want to say I never will but yeah Forsake the Divine (If You Can) seems to be a pretty solid choice, if only because there are only 1 chapter and a half left to go and it's all outlined too, but I've kind of fallen out of the fandom (it's very dead) so idk if I'll ever manage to put it together.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization is definitely a strong suit. And judging purely from my comment section, I feel okay assuming that I'm pretty good at making the emotional beats land too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description definitely. It's been pointed out to me more than once that I'm so focused inside the characters' heads that I forget to interact more with the world around them. Nature wants to be incorporated and I'm working on that.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I hate it. It feels so strange to me to have a few words in a different language and then abruptly switch back to English. The only thing that I feel I have to do in another language though, is honorifics. Whether it be -san, -kun, or Madame, I think I get super extra about it. I once delved into such a rabbit hole trying to figure out what honorific even a side character uses, just for a throwaway dialogue!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ooh, officially? Fairy Tail. Unofficially, hidden in the depths of my laptop? Yeah, it was Percy Jackson. My childhood favourite that still haunts my thoughts to this day.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ironically? This is the second time I've been asked that today and the choice is still just as difficult. Or maybe it's that my actual favourites are still unfinished and hence unpublished. For now, I'm going to say Enduring, it's the fic that was most different genre-wise from what I usually write, and I'm very proud of how it turned out. If I ever manage to finish it though, my favourite will probably be a life unlived or maybe I'm just doomed to never have a favourite, because there will always be something new I'm looking forward to reading (meaning I have to write it to be able to see it). Tagging (no pressure!) @shortmexicangirl @rosiesared @ck2k18 @heartfulselkie @coffeebanana @mdelpin @kiliinstinct @lady-charinette

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by no one. I saw @icescrabblerjerky do it and i want to talk about myself

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

31 but one of them is pictures

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

47,602 I am real small fish

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on Ao3 I have Good Omens, RQG and The Old Guard. back on ff.net I had some Sherlock BBC and The Arrow CW, I also have bits and scraps of ATLA and many thoughts about 9 1 1 and Assassin's Creed (Ezio Era) but none of that has seen the light of day (yet)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Let it Snow Good Omens Kudos: 652

Outcasts always Mourn RQG Kudos: 184

Too Important a Thing RQG Kudos: 154

Blow out a Candle, light a Flame RQG Kudos: 153

Aftertaste RQG Kudos: 133

Let it Snow is in some kind of collection i get kudos for it basicalyl every day still especially since GO2 came out.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Only if there's a question or I want to clarify something. I think it bloats the comment count and i want to see how many comments i actually have.

I eat every single one though. Comments are EVERYTHING to me

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Most of Wilde Week 2020 was pretty angsty. I'd say Colours fade, Clothes rip (RQG) probably. maybe Bad Ideas (Good Omens) too but a different angst

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Let it Snow is pure fluff with a little angst in the middle.

All is Well IS pure fluff ok yea that one I think.

most of my fics, as angsty as they get, end well.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

closest thing I got was someone correcting me on a GO that Crowley does eat sometimes I knew that if read the book. Which I did and decided for that fic it was cuter if he didnt.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

there's an attempt deep deep in my markdown files of me trying to write some wholesome smut. It did not work out. I'll stick to fading to black and leave the porn to people more skilled than me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't really do crossovers. I don't read them except very specific circumstances either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of. I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not yet. I have translated one though. Privately for a friend.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope. I am a dictator on my ship I'm a lone wolf I don't play well with others etc etc edgy shit (I've talked to people about their fics being a Rubber Duck and I yelled AU ideas back and forth on discord servers but no "actual writing" yet)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Give me Pining, give me seemingly unrequited but it isn't, give me fake arrogance and pretending to be someone you're not as a shield and someone else looking right through it and I'm happy. Zoscar my beloved, Aziraphale and Crowley my beloved.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Aftertaste. one day I swear. but it's been so long it's like gnawing at a brick wall. it's only the finale that will make it all ok too.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Angst. I love wringing characters out and dig my salty fingers into their wounds and make them sad and hurt them where it hruts most.

I also think I'm ok at getting their voices right

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

the actual writing. i just... dont write. finishing writing. aftertaste one day I'll come for you etc.

for real though Pacing is hard. when do I show and when do I tell also, how much movement do i need around a dialogue?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

be careful you know what you're doing. I'd feel confident having someone speak german (since i am german) and I know who to ask for a couple of other languages, but treat it like britpicking treat it like culture picking. make sure it's actually what you want to say and what someone who speaks that language would say.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

BBC Sherlock. I was a Sherlolly bitch. don't @ me. I have paid for my sins.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Outcasts always Mourn is definitely one of my favourites. I love diving deep into a character and peeling them like an onion and making things worse.

Blow out a Candle, light a Flame is another one. jsut because I loved the stupid never have I ever bit. and I still want that candle tattoo.

I'm tagging anyone who has ever written anything no matter if it's published. talk about yourself!

Hello, me again being just perfectly normal as per usual.

I just finished listening to your INCREDIBLE playlist for HDG, and it's... did I already say incredible? It is very incredible. Wildly eclectic in all the best possible ways. I was SO PLEASED to see Babylon Zoo and Kula Shaker in particular! (no Tattva though?? how dare you it was the first guitar solo I ever learned) Anyway it brought back many many memories, so please find them all enclosed lol

I'm on holiday and have LOTS of time to kill, so I have constructed a sectioned, annotated list ❤️

The Best Song

Reef - Place your hands

I think this might be the best song ever made in the 90s? It's lived in my head forever. APPARENTLY the lyrics are "place your hands on my hope" but I have been singing "on my hole" for so fucking long and I will not change now. Those are the real lyrics as far as I’m concerned. Anyway it’s so joyful!

Songs that people don't remember until they hear them

Suede - Beautiful Ones - The chorus definitely rings through Hermione’s head whenever a Slytherin walks into the room lmao

Supergrass - Alright - I feel like I heard this song every single day for a decade

Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drums - Their most pop song and holy shit its good

Ocean Colour Scene - Riverboat song - Not only amazing, but also the intro riff was the soundtrack to TFI Friday with that bastard Chris Evans (the other one)

Corner Shop - Brimful of Asha - Oh god this song hahah. Another one that was played so much it just became the general background noise of life

The Seahorses - Love is the law - I dunno if anyone even remembers John Squire had another band after the Stone Roses, but he did and this track was the only song of theirs I ever heard but it was enough that I remember them

Catatonia - Mulder and Scully - Is there anything more 90s than the X-Files?

The Divine Comedy - Something For the Weekend - Inextricably linked with the above in my head for reasons I can't remember. Maybe just because they're both spooky??

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away - The happiest break up song ever made?

Juggernauts of the era

I mean these need no explanation so I mostly haven't bothered, but Bittersweet Symphony was literally the sound of an entire generation (and the music video? Just walking down a shitty street, disconnected from everyone around him, singing about hopelessness while dressed all in black, barging uncaringly past people??? IT MEEEE lol). Also a reminder that Things Can Only Get Better was the Labour Party song when everyone thought Tony Blair would save us from the conservatives 🙄

Verve - Bittersweet Symphony

Oasis - Cigarettes & Alcohol

Blur - Girls and Boys

Pulp - Common People - 🎵 Rent a flat above a shop, cut your hair and get a job 🎵

Prince - 1999

DReam - Things Can Only Get Better

Songs I don't think necessarily fit your playlist vibe but I remember fondly anyway

Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees - One of my faves, it’s so fucking depressing lol. “She lives with a broken man, a cracked polystyrene man” 🥹

Ace of Base - All That She Wants - My dad loved Ace of Base for some reason? Which was weird because he mostly just listened to Pavarotti

4 Non Blondes - What's up - Still find myself regularly singing Heeeeeeeeayyy yeaaaah yeaaah yeahhh constantly 

The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode - E’s are good, gettit??? It’s such a blatant, smirking middle-finger to The Establishment that you’ve got to kinda love it, even if it’s fucking irritating to actually listen to hahah

Shaggy - Oh Carolina

Wet Wet Wet - Goodnight Girl - I did NOT listen to Wet Wet Wet. But my mum did, and this song was in heavy rotation, so I still know all the lyrics

And as this is an ask, I've prepared an actual question! Do you listen to music while you're writing? I can't, I get too distracted by the lyrics and I lose the ability to write words!

OK that's it I'm done have fun! <3 xx

Stars…your name is fitting because you are what?? HEAVENLY.

I will be adding all of these to the playlist tomorrow. Even if they don’t ‘fit the vibe’. The vibe of the playlist is - there is no vibe! It’s like what if Hermione and Theo bought every single weird mashup CD to occupy them in their little copy room, and therefore ANY and ALL bangers are welcomed hehe.

Re: writing to music - it depends on my mood! When I am struggling to get words down I definitely think it helps to focus me in the right ‘tone’. For NETG I used that miserable playlist a LOT lmao. Sometimes I get overexcited though and have to ‘dance around my room’ - a thing I have done my entire life and is not dancing at all, rather me hurtling from one end of my room to another, grinning madly as the made up people in my head do things I want them to.

I always try and convince myself I can listen to music while I study. This is always a lie. One day I’ll grow out of it, but not today

Thoughts on the costuming of Bad Buddy (a thread*)

Episode 8 (2/3): PatPran

There's so much I want to write about this week that I've had to break it down into three different posts: one for Ink and Pa; one for Pat and Pran; and one about the Friends. But here's Pat and Pran...

When I wrote about my mint green colour theory before episode 7, I predicted that we would see a lot more of this colour when Pat and Pran got together...and yay, I was right! I've already posted about some details but with the clothes we start right off the bat with Pat in mint green shorts. (There's also something mint green hanging behind the brown bag on the wall...maybe another bag? Perhaps we'll get to see Pran using it at some point...although he's only ever used his blue 'P' bag, so perhaps not...). Pat is also in a teal and black and white stiped top...but I'm not sure what to make of the use of teal to be honest - it might be that my mint green theory should extend to teal as well (so the whole dark to light spectrum of this colour) but I'm not sure there's been a pattern to its use...I need more time to investigate...

Pran, on the other hand, is wearing their colours - in blue and pink stiped pants. I don't think I need to point out both their faculty jackets in the background...but I guess I just did. (And that's Pat's bag hung up on the right).

Once dressed, Pat again has mint green on his clothes - in the writing on his sandy/orange (pumpkin?) t-shirt. In contrast, Pran is in white - perhaps symbolic of being anxious about people finding out about their relationship and therefore feeling the need to present a neutral façade. Of course, Pat, on the other hand, can't wait to be open about what they are and his colourful top shows that.

I've written in more detail about the friends groups in post 3/3 of this thread, but before episode 8 I had predicted that the engineering group would be supportive of Pat hitting on someone from architecture based on their colours - Korn in bright red and Mo in pink (incidentally, Pat has red details on his blue top) - and again I was right (yay me!). Of course we don't know what's going to happen next now that they know it's actually Pran...but that's for another day.

I liked this little interjection by the rugby coach, wearing this dark blue top with a yellow flower print - it seems like the possibility for Pat to be open about his love and happiness in front of his friends is blossoming...? 🤞🏽

Later both Pat and Pran are in shades of orange. I'm interpreting this as either a mix of red and yellow (so Pran's colour and their happiness), or a hint reinforcing Ink's importance with Pa and the potential of their relationship...or it could be a bit of both. Anyway, I love the yellow square over Pran's heart. He's upset at the beginning of this scene but softens in Pat's embrace as he recites the play's lines and is his happiest in the balcony scene later than day. This colourful outfit (with the blue jeans) is a stark difference to the white of earlier. The writing on Pat's top is equally interesting, not only the "PROUD" (okay you have to ignore the rest) emphasising how he feels about being with Pran, but the forest green colour. It alludes not only to the little animosity between him and Pran that quickly dissipates but also the coming difficult conversation with his father and ensuing angst.

And then after the conversation with his father, Pat is lying, dejected, in bed - all in white. Devoid of colour. Devoid of happiness.

But then we get that wonderful balcony scene, full of love and care and connection. Pat gives Pran the earbud case holder (which I wrote about in my episode 8 details post) with the red and blue 'P' and neck cord, and Pran gives Pat the 'friend/unfriend' t-shirt. Pat lays it over himself and he is again full of colour, full of feeling.

But...we need to remember that although this shirt is symbolic of their connection - having been passed between them and worn by Pat before - it is also an ambiguous dark olive/grey (and borders on brown as well - more on that below) which echoes the ambiguity of the 'friend/unfriend' writing...and the ambiguity that their status has been to them and is still to others. It's potentially foreshadowing the angst that we will see in part 4 of the episode, both between them and for the final curtain drop, despite making Pat so happy here.

And so for the angst...Pran's anxieties come to the fore, Pat and Pran exchange heated words, and the t-shirt gets pulled off and slung to the floor...the 'friend/unfriend' wording feeling ominous in the tension between them. Pat, as Riam, plays the xylophone to "express his upset" (in yet another scene where the play reflects their life) and it's fitting that Pat is shirtless - bare and exposed, vulnerable and natural.

I adore the framing in this shot - Pat is in front of a rich red curtain, stood on a red base, with the yellow buffalo (?) between him and Pran in the foreground shadows, and that hint of mint green above Pran's head. Pat is in the light, wanting to be out in the open with their relationship, whereas Pran feels he needs to hide in the darkness. The smiley face of the animal seems a direct contrast to the solemnity of the scene, almost mocking, but it could also be a reminder of the love and happiness that does still exist between the two despite their current difficulties.

Afterwards, after they have reflected and calmed down, they come together to reconcile. Before episode 8, I proposed a new colour theory, that brown symbolised a sacrifice or yielding, and here we have Pran and Pat sat side by side, separated by a brown roll of material 'haphazardly' leaning on the blue scaffolding behind them. They apologise, express their desires and their fears, and then yield a little to the other, meeting in the middle, understanding the other and compromising on their needs and wishes.

In the frame is also the red fabric, the blue scaffolding, and the yellow of the buffalo (which has been purposefully moved here from the front of the curtain for this shot). Not only that, I realised after seeing @elogval's beautiful artwork that the wall on the left is mint green. All the important colours. Regarding the clothes, Pran is in a sandy top with blue stripes (I have written about this in the friend group post - 3/3 of this series) and Pat is holding the 'friend/unfriend' shirt. It's not a surprise that after he puts it on again we come to the final moment of trouble - when the curtain falls and their relationship gets revealed.

[Ep 1] [Ep 2] [Ep 3] [Ep 4] [Ep 5] [Ep 6] [Ep 7] [Ep 8] [Ep 9] [Ep 10]

Masato Hijirikawa X Reader

Category: Uta no Prince Sama

Word Count: 1,006

I got his Joyful Birthday UR on my first step, an SR that surprised me by changing into a UR! I love it in cards when they gaze directly at you and interact with you in some way, usually a hand out for you etc. It makes it feel amazingly intimate! I get squeamish and blushy thinking about it haha ///^-^///

Happy Birthday Masato Hijirikawa~!

December 29th, 2021

Requested by Anonymous for the Prompt List #1

#41--"You're really special to me."--

~satori

noun.

sudden enlightenment~

You are slow in taking a seat on the piano bench. There's a piece of music in front of you titled Happy Birthday in beautiful handwriting. You notice its penmanship, loopy and filled with excellently finished flicks. Dutifully practiced calligraphy. Under the title, you laugh a little at the parenthesis (Good-morning to Masato).

Watch caught your eye when you first entered the room was the perfectly placed present stationed on the piano lid. It is a soft midnight blue, the colour of your eyes, fitted with a bow that is white decorated with translucent snowflakes that shine in the light when you move.

With a tender hand, you remove the lid from the present, both hands coming to pick up the contents inside. It's a tiny doll, so small it only fits in the palm of your hand, the length spanning from the inside of your wrist to the knuckles before your nails being.

It's you. Or well, it's you in the form of a doll. Crocheted and made together with the utmost care. The shade of his hair and his eyes are so exact he marvels at the grandness of it. They even remembered your mole, a part of you some people forget. The doll is wearing the Saotome Academy uniform, tailored to fit the doll's body. The details of the emblem badge on the doll's breast has you running a soft thumb over it in awe.

You squeeze the doll's body just a little, releasing in the softness of it all. Eye's rising upward you peak a note in the bottom of the present, taking it out to inspect it. Deep blue eyes begin to water, even so you are careful to not get the letter in your hand nor the doll held in the other wet at any cost.

Dear Masato,

Thank you for all your lessons on how to crochet. I actually started so I could create something for you, so really I was using you in a sense, so I apologize... I've seen how happy Mai-chan is when you embroider cute little rabbits and adorable puppies on handkerchiefs for her. I wanted to do it for you to, but decided I wanted to crochet a doll together as something you could hold on to it and look at it fondly.

Is it odd to snuggle up to a doll that is a replica of yourself? Maybe it is... I know it would be even weirder if it was a doll in my image. That would be ridiculous of me to do that, wouldn't it have?

I've come to realize that I don't feel right. Right about you, or well I mean not the way you would like. I like you as more than just idol and idol. Our relationship is more than just that to me. I think I've come to love you in the way our songs convey. Me saying this changes everything, but it doesn't have to. Just knowing how you feel on your end will make me come to terms and either move on or move forward with you. So to just get it all out there before I crumble another paper for the 8th time in just the last hour...

You're really special to me, more than you know...

I love you, Masato Hijirikawa.

And happy birthday

Love,

Your most loyal friend

You lowered the letter onto your lap, shiny eyes gazing at the doll in your hand once again. They had indeed asked for lessons on how to crochet. With your help they had learned quickly, creating small animals with the height of someone's pinky to even bigger. The time you spent with them was the happiest you'd ever been. Having them there to talk to you and take what you loved to create something new.

Too soon though there was nothing left to teach and you had to watch as the scheduled times you spent together were now empty. Gone were the appointments with them on your personal calendar. Weeks of time alone, just with them. You were left without their voice and without their insightful input when conversing together on meaningless topics. As their hands became more skilled with every day that passed the more anxious you become. The day did come when you heard them say they didn't need any more lessons.

Now you knew why. Why they asked how to create semi-accurate figured dolls with tailored clothes. You hadn't gotten to witness them make a doll at all, because it was right here. Their hard work and dedication all in this little doll for your birthday. So much time was spent on a present that they weren't even sure you would like. So much time spent rewriting a letter that revealed pure and simply their feelings for you that could either be crushed or lifted with the awaited response.

Folding the letter back up to pack it inside the present once more you clutch the doll tight to your chest. You flee the music room on a mission. The sun has barely set, you just pray they haven't retired to their room yet.

You have something to tell them. Something you've been holding in since you first laid eyes on them, the first time you heard them sing, and the first time you were granted the pleasure of having a duet with them.

There they were, walking unaware to their dorm.

Their fingers sliding across yours as you grab their hand is something incredible. The way they turn around eye's alight, mouth parted open in exclamation. You want those eyes to always look at you. You want to feel those lips on yours.

You have to tell them how you feel. Tell them how you, Masato Hijirikawa feel.

They see who you are, they see what you hold close to your chest. The blush sprinkling their face has time stopping as you muster up all the courage within you.

"Y-you're really special to me! I love you too!"

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Klaus Mikaelson x Lexi Branson (The Vampire Diaries)

Requested by @insidious-wxlf

Klaus eyes the girl standing alone in the corner of the exhibit. He thinks the word "girl" lightly only because her face is surprisingly smooth and unblemished by the age that he's aware she possesses.

He politely excuses himself from his conversation with an over enthusiastic guest. She doesn't mind in the slightest when her agreement rewards her with a pleased smile that holds the potential of a promise of his return. He's not one to keep a promise.

The girl with the locks of golden curls just stands there, head tilting this way and that. Sidling up to her, he notices her even squinting her eyes a little bit with her lips twisted uncertainly.

"You're not impressed," he says bluntly, and knows he's guessed correctly.

The girl doesn't even turn to him. She merely glances with a sideways flick of her sparkling eyes, like bubbles in champagne, and gives a tittering smile. Familiar and infuriating at the same time.

"Now, did I say that?" Alexia responds.

"You didn't have to," Klaus says flatly, hands behind his back and doing his best to keep his face a mask so as to not seem wounded by the slight poking of a sharp dagger in his chest and his throat. "Your face said it for you."

"Well, I wasn't aware that my face had developed the unheard of ability to speak for me. And with my mouth closed, to add further astonishment."

Klaus rolls his eyes and sighs, already sick of their little game. He waves a hand at the canvas in front of them.

"If you're going to come here and silently judge my work, then, do tell, what exactly is it about it that you find so unimpressive?" he asks. More demands, but one never really demands anything of Alexia Branson. He's learned that lesson before. Many times.

Sure enough, she takes an extra moment to answer simply to spite his tone. He clenches his jaw but stays quiet, waiting.

Then she squints her eyes some more, gives another tilt of her head, as if really examining the flaws in the painting. Klaus even finds himself glancing over it uncertainly. Perhaps it wasn't one of his best. He does recall being rather frustrated with it during the process of creation, and there had been a light squabble between his siblings that he had been made to deal with in between. Maybe it reflected a little too much in his work.

Then Alexia says, with an air of finality on her descision, and extreme confidence, "It's too blue."

Klaus stares at her. "It's too... blue? Your problem with this piece is that there is too much... blue?"

"No, not too much of the colour blue," Alexia says, shaking her head, making those curls move with her, fascinatingly. "It's too blue. Sad. You may has well have just painted a big frown on it and titled it, "My Inner Soul"."

She turns to him and he finally sees the grin stretching across her delicately painted lips. A weight is lifted out of his chest and then he's shaking off his disbelief.

"You're mocking me," he scoffs, a low chuckle starting beneath it in his throat. "To my face as well, a very bold move, I have to say!"

It's her turn to roll her eyes now. "Oh, I'm so scared, Nik! What are you going to do? Kill the only person who actually buys your paintings? Now, would that not just be a poorly-thought out business move?"

She's turned to properly face him now, her head tilted again, and that smile still playing across her lips. It's impossible to hold any displeasing thoughts or feelings inside of him when it feels as though she can peer right into the soul that he questions the existence of. She doesn't. She has no doubt that it's in there -- she's told him as such, time and again, despite his protests and attempts to prove her wrong. She's so certain.

He sputters a bit, fumbling over his words, something in which she finds great amusement. And he finds fondness in her amusement, so really, he doesn't mind too badly.

"Now -- that is simply untrue! I have other buyers."

"Mhm." Lexi hums. "But if that's the case, then why have I been granted the absolute privilege of being allowed to remain... well, undead?"

Klaus considers it. In truth, he's snapped necks for lesser insults and grievances.

But he looks at Lexi, and his mind instantly softens his hands to caress the delicate skin of her neck instead. He can see the places where his lips have left love letters, once reread over and again, now tucked away beneath the surface of her skin to be kept secret.

An odd feeling posesses him for a moment longer than he'd like. Similar to the time one vampire got brave and made a grab for his heart, managing to get their idiotic little fingers wrapped around it for just a moment. They had just started to twist when their head had landed on the other side of the room, courtesy of a well-timed Elijah.

It's that feeling. The twisting of his heart, phantom fingers around it like it's some kind of ball for them to play with, just to give the strings a little tug.

It's an aching, hollow feeling right in his chest and down a bit, where no one should be able to reach.

He swallows and draws his eyes away from Alexia's unmarked neck, back up to her still sparkling eyes. She raises her eyebrows at his delay in answering.

"My god," she says, widening her eyes with feigned amazement, "I've actually rendered the great Niklaus Mikaelson speechless. I wasn't sure anything could ever make you stop talking -- if you don't inflate your ego, who else will?"

Klaus' mouth twitches at the corner and he allows the smile to blossom into another chuckle. He shakes his head.

"Precisely, my love," he says, but he is too soft, still caught up in his thoughts, where the desire to be gentle always won out.

Alexia doesn't bat an eyelash. "So, am I going to be walking out of Chicago with a head then?"

She's kidding, of course. Teasing him because they both know that he's never had a single desire for her pain in any form. Even the thought of it makes his gut twist like someone has stuck a dagger in it and forgot to remove it.

"I'd rather you didn't walk out of Chicago at all," he confesses before he can think.

This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Alexia was simply a fellow vampire he stumbled across during a darker period. Many vampires have come and gone through his many centuries, many during much worse times in his life, and yet she's one of the rare few who got stuck in his mind. Her gentleness, the way he softens just by being near her or thinking of her and how she'd react if he made a particularly unpleasant descision.

Finally, she's the one who's caught off her guard. "Oh," she flusters. "Um... I mean, I don't have to go right now. Kind of got forever. So... I can stay."

Klaus nods. "Good. I'd..." he clears his throat, but the words seem to have lodged themselves firmly in there.

Alexia's grinning again, leaning in closer. "What was that? That word you were going to say? You'd...?"

Klaus clenched his teeth again but it's partly to keep his smile from stretching like it wants to.

"I'd advise you quit while you're ahead, dear Alexia, or--"

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?" she interrupts. "You sound like your brother when you call me Alexia."

Klaus actually is wounded this time. "Point made. Lexi it is."

She smirks, and says, "Good. Now, you were saying that I should quit while I'm ahead?"

"Which would apparently be always," Klaus concedes.

Lexi laughs, looking rather pleased about it, too. Such cockiness on anyone else would infuriate him. With Lexi, it's more fond exasperation. If anything, it's a good look on her and one he always takes pleasure in.

"I would be very happy if you were to stay for a little while longer," Klaus says, finishing his thought.

Lexi beams at him. She tilts her chin up and takes his arm, surprising him as she hooks it over her own.

"Then it is a very good thing that your happiness actually means something to me," she says. "Now, show me the rest of your paintings. And I want less sadness! Show me your happiest one."

Klaus peers at her for a moment. She just smiles that beautiful smile at him.

"I know just the one," he says, and she gestures for him to lead the way.

Get This Right

Song fic.

Characters: Rook Hunt, Reader

Notes: Rook deserves more love so here is my participation in the “time for Rook to get what he deserves” squad. This idea came up while I was listening to the Frozen II soundtrack. Hope you’ll enjoy! Have an amazing day, wherever you are!

Also, @jangmi-latte​ you said something about wanting to be tagged on Pomefiore related stories so I did! (I hope it doesn’t bother you)

Please also note that English is not my first language, sorry for any grammatical mistakes.

Usually, Rook was not the shy type. He was the fambloyant type. Every person in this school was aware of his shiny presence. He was known for his theatrical enters, his French nicknames, his hunter habits, but also for being such a colourful yet nice person. The only one who could keep up with the strict Vil Schoenheit without any problem. He had more than one admires.

Yet, there was one person who always managed to surprise him and, I dare say, to make him flutter.

You.

He met you on his very first year here, at Night Raven College. You caught his eyes right away, with your beautiful hair, your cute face, your shiny eyes... But most importantly, with your wonderful personality. No matter what your qualities and flaws were, for him, every single part of your being was perfect just the way it was.

At first, as usual, it was a hunting game for him. He would look at you from afar, analyzing your every move and habit, taking mental notes of everything. Your physical abilities, your way to speak, your attitude toward your friends, your reactions when meeting an obstacle...

“Just go and talk to them already,” Vil sighed one day, while Rook was looking through the window with a longing look in your direction. That silly smile and blushing face... The beautiful yet poisonous student was getting tired of it, since Rook was not paying attention to their current experiment.

Yes. He is right. He should. And he wanted to. But when he finally decided to make the move, you beat him to it.

“Why are you stalking me?” You asked, as soon as you spotted him. And that was it. It was as if Cupid shoot him an arrow right into the heart. Since he was not reacting, you waved your hand before his eyes.

“Are you free for lunch?” were the first words he ever said to you. And without really knowing why, you accepted his offer.

This was how you became friends. Rook quickly grew closer and closer to you, until finally asking you out half way through your first year. This day, you made him the happiest man in the world. Until now.

Third year. It will soon be the end of your shared third year among Night Raven College. And it was also your third year of relationship. Rook was starting to have troubling thoughts. When this year will come an end, then what will happen? Will you stay here and try the fourth year? Will you go back to your homeland? The hunter was scared. He could not be separated from you. He refused to. And suddenly, a bright idea. The right thing to do. He knew it was what he wanted. But will you?

“You want to ask for their hand?” Vil asked, absolutely stunned by his friend’s announcement. “Mon cher roi de poison (1), you heard me right,” Rook exclaimed, “I can’t stand the thought of losing them, I want to be together with my sweet love for my whole life!”

This exclamation was so Rook. The hunter came to his trusted friend, and hopefully one day wing man, for advice. He wanted to get this right. It was such a rare vision, the flamboyant Rook being unsure about how to act. But his eyes were burning with determination and dedicated love. Vil sighed. He could not go against his Vice Dorm Leader.

“I will help you with the ring,” he finally said, “I can’t let you ridiculed yourself by choosing something unfitting.” A large smile appeared on Rook’s features. The Pomefiore Dorm Leader was really the best friend he could ever ask for.

Weeks passed. Weeks during which Rook rehearsed his love speech, the on-one-knee position, the ring showing moment... With the participation of a tired Vil.

And finally, he felt ready. Today was the day where Rook will propose to you.

“Mon rayon de soleil! (2)” Rook exclaimed, running to you. You stopped in your track to wait for him to catch up with you. “Hello, Rook,” you smiled before giving him a kiss on the cheek once he was next to you, “I haven’t seen you the whole day. Where were you?”

“I was quite busy, unfortunately, but just seeing you now was enough to brighten my day,” he smiled sweetly. Always so smooth. "Then, if you're less busy, let's walk together," you offered. And he gladly accepted. Now, it was the perfect opportunity for him to strike.

He made sure the walking led you away from people's eyes. He wanted to make his move away from people, just the two of you for this magical moment.

"Mon ange (3)," he called, suddenly stopping. You stopped soon after to look at him with curiosity in your eyes. You were caught off guard by the look on his face. Your lover, Rook Hunt, actually seemed unsure. Troubled. Nervous.

"Rook, are you alright?" You asked, your voice full of worries. Oh no, here, he worried you. The hunter looked down, not looking at you anymore. It only made things worse.

"Oh, Rook, I'm sorry," you hurriedly say, "you're tired and I made you come with me, I should have let you go home and rest."

"It's not you!" His outburst surprised even him. He calmed down, noticing your own troubled look. "It's me... I..." He hesitated, his cheeks turning a cute shade of pink. You really were the only person able to make the flamboyant Rook bashful.

"Mon amour (4)... You always manage to swip me off my feet, and I hope I make you feel as happy as you make me happy," he started, "there was times where I wondered if you didn't deserve someone better than me."

"What? Rook, why would you think-" "Non, non, let me finish, please," he cut you off. If he did not get it out at once, he feared he might lose his words again. He could not believe he rehearsed his proposal for hours with Vil only to stutter in front of you. This was unlike him.

"I want to get this right, to be the right one for you," he admitted. "You are the most extraordinary person I've ever met, and I am so grateful I was offered the blessing to share my everyday life with you for three years now."

You listened to Rook with absolute attention. The more he was talking, the faster your heart was beating. You could feel your cheeks grow hotter too. His words were making their way to your heart, squeezing it lovingly. You could squealed out of happiness, but you kept control over yourself, not daring to interrupt him again.

"And I would love it if you would make me the honor of... Of..." Rook patted his pocket, only to feel nothing there. "Wait..." He checked every of his pockets. Nothing. "I forgot the ring..."

"What is it?" You asked, not understanding his mumbles. Rook looked panicked now. "Rook?" You reached out to him, only for him to run away from your touch. Literally. Rook suddenly ran away.

"Rook, wait! Come back!"

The hunter ran away from his one and only. He did not dare to look back. "Good job, Rook," he thought to himself while running, "you just ruined the moment."

He could not believe it. How could he forget the ring?! He did not get this right, in the end. How would he come back to you after running from you like this? And how would he face Vil after ruining both of their efforts? Going back to Pomefiore now might not be the best idea. But the ring had to be there, in his bedroom.

Rook took some time for himself, to calm his nerves and his panic, before heading back to the Pomefiore Dormatory. His plan was to take the forgotten ring before going to search for you. He was still in time to save the situation. Right?

But everything stopped when he opened the door, only to see you in the Dorm Hall, talking with Vil. Maybe it was still time to run away again.

"There you are," your voice called out. He understood he could not run from this. You made your way to him with a determined walk. He was already planning an apology. You stopped just a foot away from him. The hunter was about to open his mouth to apologize, but once again, you beat him to it.

"Mister Rook Hunt, will you marry me?"

He was stunned. You were looking right into his eyes. You had the confidence he lost. And at this very moment, you were more beautiful than you have ever been. A large goofy smile made its way on his lips. It was as if he was falling for you all over again. What did he do to deserve such a magnificent being?

"It would be my honor!" Rook took you in his arms, turning around with you cradled against him. He stopped, setting you back down. His forehead against yours, his adoring eyes were looking right into yours.

"I'm going to be the man you deserve," he smiled. "You already are, silly," you replied.

"I will make your life the most beautiful one in the world," he added. "You're doing pretty good so far," you chanted.

You wrapped your arms back around his neck to bring him down to your level. He gladly accepted the physical invitation and planted a sweet kiss on your lips. When you parted away, Rook longingly stared into your eyes and caressed your now red cheek. "We got it right."

"No, you did not." Vil finally manifested himself, showing the ring box he was holding in his hand. Oh, yes, the forgotten ring.

---

(1) Mon cher roi de poison: my dear poison king

(2) Mon rayon du soleil: my ray of sunshine

(3) Mon ange: my angel

(4) Mon amour: my love

Jac & Savannah

Jac: Cannot stop thinking about that one dress in that last boutique we checked out though... Jac: so lowkey mad at Isabelle for having to go home to walk her dog 🙄😩 Savannah: UGH I know! Don't get me started yet again on how her mum is literally never there to do anything for it & they don't even have a garden Savannah: I'll go back & get it for you, she can't stop me Savannah: I have less than zero reasons to hurry home Jac: Lowkey like, who do I call again? 😬 Jac: the poor thing, as if breathing wasn't issue enough without having to contend with getting overweight and her mum's vape habit Jac: You're so pure 🥺🥺 Jac: and I'm personally not over seeing you in that one shade of pink like ??? Jac: 👼🏾 walking Savannah: ^^^  the levels of cruelty make my heart hurt, honestly 😢 but I won't get to Heaven until I convince them to see the error of their ways & that is a battle I simply do not have the energy for today Savannah: you could literally wear that AWFUL dress that Isabelle was considering- thank god we talked her out of that much! 🙌🏾- & still look like an actual goddess Jac: Seriously, I don't know how they can live with themselves Jac: that would be their business, because I'm not as caring as you, or even close, but the fact it hurts you means it's mine too 😤 Jac: actually though, would have had to pretend to not know her, oh my God Jac: not to mention how short it was, as well as just hideous...like this is a SCHOOL event, girl, I... 🤦 Jac: it does mean we're scheduled to help her keep looking though Jac: which is becoming a trial, like I'm so sorry to say but wow Savannah: I likewise don't have the necessary reserves to try and teach her the difference between positive & negative attention Savannah: Can Amelia not help her look? I highly doubt her wardrobe is fully stocked with suitable school event dresses so surely she still needs to keep looking too? Jac: That's a whole conversation her mother should be having with her but also needs Jac: sad, really Jac: Poor, poor Is Jac: Meels is a committed outfit repeater, no matter the occasion Savannah: She can't wear jeans to this though Jac: 🙄 I've also tried on that subject Jac: it'll just become a whole THING Jac: us trying to sort both of them out and getting nowhere with our own looks Savannah: 😔 I'm exhausted by their indecision, it's taking the excitement out of it Savannah: I understand that they can't and don't feel themselves in just anything, but it's getting ridiculous Jac: ^^ Totally agree Jac: although us being on the same page is not anything like a surprise these days Jac: it's so unfair, really Jac: they're not even THAT bothered about the whole thing Jac: we've put effort in before this whole step even Savannah: I knew you'd understand, despite feeling like I'm the one who is being totally unfair by saying anything, the rational part of my mind which isn't on the verge of tears as a result of Is' complaints or Amelia's apathy is like no, Savannah, you're not wrong Savannah: it does matter to us & it's allowed to be viewed as important Savannah: not to mention enjoyable, god forbid Jac: You NEVER need to doubt yourself Jac: you're a complete empath, honestly, to your own detriment Jac: but that isn't your fault and people should try to give even a fraction of what you give them back Jac: so, for your wellbeing, I'm calling a time-out on this and them Jac: you've got to focus on you for once ❤ Savannah: I can't tell you how wholeheartedly I wish I was the person you think I am, Ty & I had a HUGE fight earlier & I've been plagued by self doubt ever since Jac: Oh no, okay, what was said? Savannah: He seemed to think that we had plans today, which is not a conversation I remember us having, so of course I wasn't going to cancel on you all Savannah: & that makes me the most thoughtless girlfriend he's ever had Savannah: I'm so sorry the girl you dated for like two weeks dropped everything without a second thought if you even hinted that you wanted her too because she didn't have a life Savannah: they broke up for that exact reason Jac: He's totally got the wrong day Jac: you don't double-book Jac: not dragging him, he's clearly just so busy with his own stuff too but yeah, no way Jac: he'll work it out and owe you a great apology Savannah: it was beyond upsetting, I swear I need a mental health break from everyone but you Jac: I get it Jac: no boy drama but my family are driving me INSANE right now Jac: I vote we go test 💅 colours and get a hand massage to boot Savannah: Can we? I don't want to be responsible for causing you more family drama Jac: Ugh, no, they're fine Jac: and you're more important than any of this drama, Is and Amelia's too Savannah: ^^ I don't care how hard Ty is sulking, I'm not going to leave you to cope with them on your own Savannah: you needed my help first Jac: Like, he can't put that on you Savannah: he's never spoken to me that way before & I have no idea where it came from Jac: Is he under a lot of pressure right now, on the team? Jac: or at home, school Jac: either way, the issue is not with you, and he probably knows that already Savannah: No, everything's going really well Jac: 🤔 Savannah: It's me, it has to be Jac: You've not done what he's saying you have Jac: accusing would be too strong a word but Jac: we'll work it out but I'm totally clueless right now Savannah: me too 😢 Jac: Lowkey mad at him now Savannah: I shouldn't have even said anything, I told myself that I wasn't going to Savannah: but then Isabelle & Amelia started sulking too & it brought it all back Jac: No, I want to be there for you Jac: and make you feel better Jac: which I definitely will Jac: but I just can't explain away why he's being like this 🥺😢 Jac: and I wish I could Savannah: You'll definitely make me cry, you're the best Savannah: he was acting as though I don't make time for him, which is not true, but if it were, the reason would be that nobody deserves as much of it as you Jac: making you cry doesn't sound like something the best would do Jac: you've got to have your own lives, own friends Jac: you do NOT wanna be THAT couple Savannah: if you don't want my tears because I couldn't be happier to have found the love of my life, I'll keep them in, since they are yours, it's totally fine Savannah: yes, exactly & he knows that, he has more friends than extra-curriculars & he has as many of those as I do Savannah: it doesn't make any sense Jac: I will treasure them Jac: and make sure they never, ever spill for anything less than the happiest of moments, because that is all you deserve Jac: I could talk to him...totally on the low and in the most well-intentioned way Jac: maybe it's something he doesn't want to burden you with? but he has accidentally burdened you with this doubt and worry instead Savannah: 🥰🤗 Savannah: you'd do that? Jac: Of course! Jac: You're my soul sister, so I hope Ty at least considers me a friend too at this point Jac: he's going to have to get used to having me around 😅 Savannah: if he doesn't we have a bigger problem than I thought because I love you so much Savannah: & I will run away with you if anyone ever tries to make me choose 😄 Jac: He's smart, he's not gonna do that Jac: though honestly, I could do with the break right now, would not say no Savannah: maybe we could have one, it's essentially my right as a child of a broken home to play my parents off against each other Savannah: & if my dad is foolish enough to believe he can buy back any of my love or respect after what he's done, why should I feel bad for treating him like one Savannah: I refuse to, I do need to focus on myself Jac: In terms of making-up-to-do, he's in the lead no question, or so far behind everyone else, looking at it that way Jac: I think it would be the most appropriate way to end transition year Jac: God knows if my parents would go for it 🙄 Savannah: I'll talk to them, I've never lost a debate so far & I couldn't be any more well intentioned, my heart is in the exact right place Jac: 👼🏾🥰 Jac: next year is when everything gets REAL Jac: we need the holiday we are NOT going to get until...I don't even want to think about the next time we'll be able to take a real break after this Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: whatever I have to do to make it happen & be perfect, so be it Jac: the salon is the EXACT right place to plan all this Jac: all the inane questions they ask about your holidays will actually be useful for once 🤭 Savannah: 😄 Jac: This is like, just a you and me thing, right? Savannah: of course Jac: Okay because helping Isabelle pick bikinis is the opposite of fun 😂 Savannah: oh my god, I don't even want to imagine Jac: if the dress breakdowns aren't bad enough Jac: we'd be so stressed we'd be put on the no-fly list, honestly Savannah: Amelia would probably throw my body into the sea, weighted down by rocks or Isabelle's dog, I swear she hates me Jac: How could anyone hate you? Jac: and she's friends with me, so her taste can't be THAT off Savannah: we won't mention that she's also friends with Is Savannah: any excuse to talk about how perfect you are instead Jac: I seriously think if we wouldn't, who would 😶 Jac: you'll make me 😳 Savannah: OH! The tans we'll both get Savannah: you'll be sightseeing & I'll just be staring at you in disbelief because you somehow got even more beautiful Jac: Oh please Jac: you're so stunning they'd be running to write new laws just to make it illegal how good you look Savannah: stop, nobody can see me 😳 but I still feel it Savannah: it should be illegal how you make me feel Jac: sorry, but a world where you don't know and aren't told how perfect you are is just not one I wanna live in 💁 Savannah: I don't deserve you, all I've done today is mope & wish your friends away so that I can have you all to myself Jac: We deserve each other Jac: if I didn't have you, who would I be able to get excited about this with? Jac: I'd be going on my own, most likely Savannah: okay, you're right Jac: I just get sad thinking about all the time we weren't friends and didn't know each other properly before Savannah: No, don't be sad, baby, we trust in the universe because it was meant to be now not then Savannah: lord knows I needed my glow up before I could be around you Savannah: 👼🏻✨🌞💛 Jac: That's true Jac: I'm more thankful that we have NOW and the promise of forever than I could ever be sad Jac: definitely not ignoring how blessed I am Jac: also blessed that my hair grew back in and I lost the puppy fat look 😬🤦 Savannah: I stand by what I said when I first saw the pictures Savannah: you were ADORABLE Jac: you're too sweet but I'm not gonna complain about it 🥰 Savannah: It's true & you know that because I would never jeopardise our connection Savannah: you're the only person I can talk to with total honesty, it's so important to me Jac: I only feel like myself with you Jac: no one else gets it all Savannah: I feel like a better person when I'm with you Savannah: but with none of the pressure that my parents put on me not to fail or the fear I have of letting Ty down Jac: You're the best person Jac: if all I do is give you the confidence to believe that, then that's totally worth it Savannah: You're going to achieve everything you want Jac: I can't wait to be Dr Taylor to your Dr Moore Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I'll be there to make sure every second of your life is worth it until then & of course after Jac: Naturally ❤ Jac: have you seen the groupchat? Savannah: please don't judge me for not having opened it Jac: I couldn't even when I'm just sat here like 🤨😑 Jac: Is has sent a million links and they seem to be getting worse every one I open ??? Savannah: Well I can't face that until later when I'm 🛀🏾🥂 Savannah: not that I'll be staying at Ty's unless he apologises to me Jac: You can always stay with me Savannah: I don't think any of your family would be fine about the always, but I wish I could Jac: They'll deal, I have to put up with all of them so 💁 Jac: I'm trying to persuade them to move the sofa bed from the hangout area to the music room, make it more of a spare room too, more privacy Jac: it's not fair that Jesse has a whole room with all his crap in, there's plenty of space in said hangout room for him Savannah: 😄 I'm sure we could win that debate too, I definitely have as much passion about the subject as you if it means I don't have to go home Savannah: it's impossible to 🛀🏾🥂 when my mum is mid-breakdown in her en-suite Jac: 😬😥 Jac: she needs to convert the passion she had for couples therapy for solo therapy now Savannah: Honestly! It's a full time job making sure she's adequately but not over medicated & if I'm worrying about it I know Sienna is Savannah: I have to unlock the door to let her in & before I know it I'm re-doing her braids or checking her homework, all the while my bath water is going cold Jac: You're actually such a good sister, and daughter Jac: In awe of you Jac: I wish you didn't have to work as hard as you do, but it's really admirable Savannah: like, so sorry that you had to go home to walk your dog, Isabelle 🙄 it's no wonder she doesn't understand me Jac: She doesn't even try Jac: she lives on planet Is where the most important thing is which bland boy she's going to get off with next Jac: I can't claim so many of your experiences and struggles but I respect the hell out of you, and try to make your life easier where and when I can Savannah: oh my god, the boy from the other night! I can't Jac: 🤢 Jac: her taste! Jac: worrying Jac: ugly dresses are the least of her problems Jac: I feel like I can't leave her alone sometimes, honestly Savannah: if this thing with Ty is leading to a break up I refuse to date any of the boys in our school Savannah: that would be another full time job working out which of them have & haven't done what with her & when Jac: tell me about it 🙄 Jac: they're all so lacklustre Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: we know our worth & we're simply too good for any of them unless they have a serious emotional glow up of their own Jac: Mhmm Jac: Ty is never gonna break up with you though Savannah: I don't know anymore, I never thought he would raise his voice to me Jac: That's pretty out of order Jac: he knows about your dad, what he's like Savannah: & it's really out of character too Jac: Yeah, totally Jac: men and anger issues are a whole can of worms Jac: there's something he isn't dealing with, for sure Savannah: or something he's not telling me Savannah: I just hope it's not a someone Jac: who could even come close to you? Jac: he's not that cliche of having the perfect girl and risking it on some skank Savannah: Logically I know that but I'm so scared Jac: Babe 🥺 Jac: you NEED to put you first, even just for the length of this nail appointment Jac: you don't need this extra stress from him Jac: I've started the convo, you can read it all once we get to the meat of it Savannah: I just want to be excited about 💅🏾 & all the iconic outfits we saw Savannah: it's SO unfair Jac: I hate this Jac: I wish I could take you away right now Savannah: you do, I'd be even more a wreck if you weren't the amazingly intuitive person you are, earlier without even having to be told I was upset you made me feel better over and over again Savannah: and right now you know what I need, way before I can put it into words or coherent thoughts Jac: we trust the connection too 💫💐💞 Savannah: I love you Savannah: I'm not devoting time & space to anyone else today, from this point on Jac: and we're definitely getting lunch after, my treat Savannah: no, mine Savannah: you've already been taking such good care of me Jac: Okay, but we will be going [place] and I will be getting you your favourite dessert Jac: no arguments 😘 Savannah: Okay, I won't fight you on it Jac: there are so many more important, and fun, decisions for us to make Savannah: ^^^!! Savannah: is Is still trying to force you to make outfit decisions for her though? Jac: I've said we've got more pressing matters right now Jac: I've made it sound like a me issue though, don't worry Jac: they'll have to cope without us for a while Savannah: Thank you, I can't cope with their relationship advice at the best of times Jac: Yeah, there's less than zero chance they'd have anything useful to say so Jac: they don't need to know Savannah: We won't tell them about the holiday plans either, that way you'll have a nice secret to keep as well as my stupid boyfriend drama Jac: to secrets 🥂 Savannah: 🥂 Savannah: Are you still thinking about that dress or have I ruined everything? Jac: You could never ruin anything with me Jac: so yes Jac: but I'm also remembering that other shop we didn't even get a chance to check out Savannah: their window display is INCREDIBLE ✨ Savannah: we should go Jac: I KNOW Jac: I've been window shopping every time I go past Jac: and to be fair, I think it's a bit out of Isabelle's price range, so it actually wouldn't be nice to take her there Savannah: the universe has spoken, I'm taking you there, our secret Jac: 🥰 Jac: I swear I only have fun when I'm with you Savannah: you're so much fun that nobody considers you might not be having any, but I promise I'll always think about you & what you need Jac: You'll make me cry now Savannah: Baby, no 🥺 if you start you'll set me off again Savannah: I'm a really ugly crier & you look like an 👼🏻 Jac: Okay, okay, no crying Jac: we'll stay flawless Savannah: that's harder work for me than it could ever be for you, but I'll do my best Jac: You're the most perfect person I've ever known Jac: inside and out Savannah: I feel that way about you, I'm not just saying it like, oh sure, me too Savannah: you're so perfect I should hate you Jac: Yeah, I know Jac: sorta been there done that Jac: not that I ever hated you really Savannah: I couldn't Jac: No, in the way how perfect you are SHOULD be impossible, that's how hating you felt Savannah: that's it exactly Savannah: & I just wanted you to notice me, I'd wait all day sometimes, getting more extra about everything Jac: It was like, I should've been mad at you but I could only ever be impressed Savannah: Well, I can't lie, I'm glad because I've never worked that hard for anyone before Savannah: it'd be super awkward if I failed Jac: 😅 Jac: I'm flattered Jac: how many boys wish, like Savannah: of course, but boys are easy Jac: duh, if you need to try then you've got bigger problems Savannah: I don't understand what Amelia's is, a smile & a hair flip & she could be dating anyone in our year Jac: Yeah, me either Jac: maybe she's had the same 💭 about Isabelle's seconds Savannah: 😄 Savannah: at this point I'm seriously expecting her to come out as asexual Jac: 🤔 maybe you're onto something Savannah: I do have good instincts for these things Jac: True Savannah: one of Sienna's friends is & nobody's been anything but really supportive about it Savannah: her year group are so sweet though Savannah: I was not like that a year ago Jac: Awh Jac: yeah, she knows we'd all support her Jac: and no one is going to say anything to her Jac: no one with half a brain cell anyway Savannah: & even if things were said it'd be no worse than what they say about her now Jac: Facts Jac: I don't know if she 1. genuinely doesn't hear 2. pretends not to or 3. seriously doesn't care Savannah: & you know her better than anyone so if you aren't sure she probably isn't either Jac: 😕 Jac: if she gave any indication, I'd do everything to help her Savannah: I know you would Savannah: I'm honestly so jealous of how close you two are & have been for like, ever Jac: but we're just as close now Savannah: I can't help but envy all the shared history you have though, all the pictures & stories that I'm obviously left out of Savannah: I shouldn't think like that, I know Savannah: but sometimes it does get to me, even though I try & be a better person than that Jac: We're going to make so many memories together though Jac: from now 'til forever Savannah: of course we are Savannah: it's no wonder he also accused me of being over sensitive, that one is very clearly true Jac: people just say that when they don't want to make allowances for other people's inconvenient feelings Jac: you can feel that, and I feel it too Jac: I wish you had been there Savannah: it just feels like she brings up all these past anecdotes as often as she does to try & leave me out Savannah: but maybe she doesn't realise how much it hurts me Jac: I'm sure she doesn't, but I'll make extra effort to clock it and get her to chill now Jac: we don't need to dwell on the past, especially at our age 🙄 Savannah: I don't want to cause friction, I can totally understand her wanting to reminisce, if we'd known each other then, I'd be the same Savannah: I talk & think about you literally all the time as it is Jac: Not even Jac: I don't want you feeling left out, or anyone Savannah: you would never Jac: you're so important to me Savannah: you've always let me know that Jac: 🥰 Savannah: I don't know how I would cope with anything that's going on in my life right now without you Savannah: I didn't even realise how badly I needed someone to talk to Jac: You look after everyone, you need someone to look after you Savannah: I can't rely on anyone to do that though Jac: me 🙋 Savannah: you can't leave me ever, I swear I'll go crazier than my mother Jac: I never will Jac: I promise Savannah: okay, I'm yours to look after then Jac: I can cope with that 😄 Savannah: you've definitely handled me at my worst, I haven't forgotten my bathroom breakdown, trust me Savannah: the embarrassment will last forever Jac: it so easily could have been me Jac: and maybe I wouldn't have had the courage to ever reach out if not, frame it like that Savannah: No, I hate that Jac: Okay, but no embarrassment either Jac: because you're the strongest person I know, and nothing I've learnt about you has changed that opinion Savannah: Well, I think you're the bravest & I fully believe you'll always find the courage to do whatever you want Jac: 🤞 Jac: I've got a lot of things I want and intend to do Savannah: 👏🏾 Yes girl! Savannah: I can't wait for transition year to be over Jac: Ugh, I know Jac: on the one hand, LOVE the extra opportunities and learning experiences they simply do not bother with the rest of the time Jac: but the other half is having to do lessons I have NO intention of carrying on with, which is just, pointless Savannah: ^^^^^^^^^ Savannah: my auntie was complaining at me as if it was OPTIONAL & I CHOSE it, excuse me Jac: Ha! 🙄 Jac: we all know it's meant to be in theory Jac: but if you don't go to a school with a high teacher to child ratio, with the budget and time to care about tailoring the learning experience to each child...then you're gonna have to do it with the rest, like it or lump it Savannah: She's a product of the American school system, there is zero place for her criticism Jac: and I- 😶 Jac: even our worst school would be preferable I'm sorry 😂 Savannah: Right?! Jac: Compared to the English and American systems, except maybe the super-elite English ones, I feel like we're still going to be at an advantage when we go to Uni Savannah: Agreed Savannah: even this year we've totally made the most of so far Jac: You've got to Jac: or you'll end up with a mediocre life and what is the point in even living Savannah: Ugh, exactly Savannah: I can already tell who is going to end up living like that Jac: I know right Jac: like, sorry to break it to you, but they're called FORMATIVE years for a reason Savannah: mhmmmm Jac: you can still have fun without ruining your life and future Jac: you just have to work hard too and some people are simply too lazy 💁 Savannah: ^^ we manage to have it all Savannah: I'm not sorry if they don't want it enough to secure it for themselves Jac: Exactly Jac: can't be sorry for you if you chose to act that way Jac: maybe some of them will turn it around years down the line but it'll be so much harder than if they'd put the work in when they were meant to Savannah: It breaks my heart that everybody doesn't have you to guide & hype them Jac: Only you deserve me though, that's the truth of it Savannah: I'm willing to work at that for the rest of my life too so Jac: 🥺 Jac: Ugh, I just love you Jac: you've really solidified all my life choices, if that makes sense Jac: like I know now everything I want is exactly what I need too Savannah: It makes perfect sense & I feel it too Jac: Thank God you do Savannah: My family are always pushing me to go to Trinity, they don't understand at all Jac: like, yeah, it's a good Uni, but we've done Dublin Jac: it's also the point of Uni to expand your horizons, put roots down somewhere else Jac: your hometown and Uni town are NOT meant to be the same Savannah: ^^ thank you Savannah: Sienna is the only one whose opinion is valid because I will be leaving her here alone for a year before she can go wherever she decides to & she'll actually miss me Savannah: my parents just want to control me Jac: Right, you aren't being selfish about it Jac: it's because you're too useful to them, like you said, looking after Sienna and your mum Jac: but those are actually both jobs your dad took on when he got married and made a family so Jac: he still has to deal with them Savannah: He gets to literally walk out but god forbid I take the next step in my life Jac: Right, he has to realize you are not a surrogate carer Jac: and that sorting those things out will always be his responsibility Savannah: He takes no responsibility for abandoning us never mind the fact that he spent years emotionally destroying my mum & then walking out when he didn't like who she became Jac: He's going to have to face his blame one day Jac: if nothing else, he does love you and Sienna, he wouldn't let anything really bad happen to you two Savannah: I don't feel loved, I feel like he decided none of us were good enough Savannah: maybe I'm too much like her for him to handle too Jac: I hate that he's made you feel like that Jac: but if anything, that shows failure on his part, not yours Jac: you're brilliant and loving and you're still there, even though it's so much for you to handle Jac: you don't need him, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be held accountable right now, and that it's shit that he isn't stepping up Savannah: I hate him & I can't stand that he's made me carry hate in my heart when that isn't who I want to be Jac: Oh, Sav Jac: you wouldn't hold negative feelings towards him if he wasn't giving you that energy first Jac: you're never a doormat, again, it shows you're strong Savannah: Don't let me be with Ty, okay? Jac: Promise Savannah: Throw my phone into the 🛀🏾 if you have to, I'll forgive you Jac: 😅 I've got it in writing Savannah: 😄 Jac: would never drop it in 🥂 Jac: such a waste Savannah: Lord no, I need the full 🍾 Jac: 🙌 I can get behind that Jac: it's been a DAY Savannah: it had it's genuine 🙌🏾 moments nevertheless, because of & featuring you Savannah: I've looked at the pictures so many times, I CANNOT believe you really look like that Jac: 😳 says you Savannah: yes & I'm going to keep saying it until it sinks in for both of us that you're the most beautiful person that has ever existed because I'm hoping that if it does for me, at least, whatever dress you choose won't take my breath away as soon as I see you in it Savannah: otherwise you'll be trying to twirl but also having to catch me as I legitimately faint Jac: you'll have to not kill me before then or I won't be any use to anyone Jac: just a blushy mess on the floor Savannah: that isn't fair, on the one hand, you can't die, I need you, but on the other that sounds ADORABLE Jac: it's unfair how much of an 👼🏾 you are to me but I don't wanna share so Savannah: pink is one of my favourite colours, you know this & you wear it so well 🌺😳🌷 Jac: I'll wear it for you Jac: even if I don't go for that dress Jac: I wonder if we can get corsages or is that too extra 🤔 Savannah: I'll get that dress if it makes you happy, I'll wear anything you want me to, including a corsage Savannah: there is no such thing as too extra when you're talking about 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 Jac: my sentiments exactly 😄😄 Jac: I don't think Amelia will wear one Jac: but we can get them Jac: we can get our birth flowers and favourites and it'll be so cute Savannah: It should be an us thing, the holiday is so far away Jac: ^^ and it's more our vibe Jac: doesn't go with a short dress or jeans, really Savannah: 😄 Jac: I've got some books I need to return to the library, do you wanna meet at that little coffee place by there? Savannah: how many books? If you need help carrying them all I'll meet you at the library Jac: love the romcom fantasy 😅 Jac: you know me, there's a few... 😬 Savannah: 😊 I'll be right there, baby Savannah: no more struggles today Jac: ❤❤✨ Savannah: 🥰

Established Relationship (5) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: October 2nd, 2022

part one, part two, part three, part four, part six, part seven

A Great Deal Of Light (Falls On Everything) (ao3) - bevshanscom

Summary: They have settled, he thinks, in their own way. That has little to do with the fact Phil’s turning 30.

(Dan and Phil celebrate Phil's birthday on the Isle of Man, and maybe Dan's already a Lester)

As You Please - botanistlester

Summary: In which Dan ruins the mood during sex. Except he doesn’t.

Be Okay - boofphil

Summary: Everything around them seems to be collapsing and the stress is finally getting to Phil.

Bruises & Bitemarks (ao3) - phandomsub

Summary: Dan and Phil have been together for seven years. Their love used to feel so soft and sweet, but now all they seem to do is fight. The insults are getting worse and it’s starting to get physical. They both hate it, until they realise they love it

Candy Love (wattpad) - SilentScreams444

Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester have been dating for 8 years now, but they're still so smitten with each other that even the phandom finds it adorably disgusting. So how about we take a look at their daily lives through ...texts?

How It Should Be (ao3) - theshyauthor

Summary: Dan is asexual and Phil is okay with that, which is exactly how it should be.

Hush Hush (ao3) - bandhoez9194

Summary: Dan and Phil have been travelling Europe with their two best friends, Chris and PJ for the last three weeks, resulting in no alone time for the couple. Leaving Dan extremely needy. One night at 3 am, Phil decides to help Dan out, but only if he stays quiet.

I Intend To Hold You For The Longest Time (ao3) - notreallythatuseful

Summary: On the night of Phil's birthday, Dan and Phil are finally left alone.

I'll Take Care Of You (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: phil takes care of dan after a long stop speak support day.

I Love You, Really, Too - nebulous-frog

Summary: Dan’s having a rough time getting used to university, so Phil comforts him.

Kings of the Course - phanfictionvevo

Summary: The one where Dan happens to be a famous pro golfer and Phil is his boyfriend.

Let’s Make a Baby - daisydanyul

Summary:  Dan and Phil are basically ripping each other’s clothes off with their teeth when Dan feels a weird kick in his stomach.

Ninety-Three (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan and Phil navigate a series of life changes after purchasing a home together.

Soccer Dads (ao3) - phantropolis

Summary: Dan accompanies Phil to their son’s soccer practice for the first time, only to discover that the soccer mums flirt with a very oblivious Phil in very obvious ways. Featuring jealous!Dan and their son, Jack, who is a surprisingly talented player.

Stay With Me - placingglaciers

Summary: Something bad happened in their relationship and Daniel wonders what exactly happened and what led them to where they are now.

The Fast Forward Years (ao3) - snsk

Summary: dan, phil, and the years in between.

The Happiest I've Ever Been In My Life (ao3) - snsk

Summary: And he wasn’t trying to be dramatic, really he wasn’t.

Thigh Kissing - botanistlester

Summary: Phil loves everything about Dan, but he loves kissing his thighs more than anything in the world.

To Get High, We Got To Get Low (ao3) - fairytalelights

Summary: The point is reached most times at the end of a gaming video, a short, “Come on, now, concentrate”, a little, “Dan, sit down, end screen,” and Dan listens, reluctantly, still not letting go, still being loud and stubborn, and wearing a smirk when Phil turns the camera off. or, sometimes Dan just needs to let go and Phil knows exactly how to make him.

Unraveled (ao3) - symmetricdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil have a lazy day in and appreciate what they have, and Dan edges Phil for an hour.

Was I Made From A Broken Mold? (ao3) - georgiabread

Summary: Somewhere, Phil feels his gratitude and pride. He tries hard to latch onto those positive emotions, sick of all the grey. But tonight, he’s so lost in the shade he can’t find any colours.