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autisticlancemcclain · 2 years

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Keith was used to random foster parent reassignments. He was used to packing his shit to go from house to house quickly. He was used to meeting whatever exhausted adult who needed the paycheque, knowing he’d be back at the group home in a matter of months. It was clockwork, at this point.

His new foster father was a little different. He was a weirdo.

Keith liked him, a little.

Granted, Keith barely knew him. They’d only really had the one interaction, wherein Keith had met the man who’s car he stole at the police station in handcuffs, and the man had pretty much decided then and there that he wanted to adopt Keith because he found him hilarious.

Yeah. Shiro’s a weirdo. But he’s definitely a break from the norm, which is something Keith appreciates.

“…so, technically, my fiancé is about to have the surprise of his life. But he’s pretty chill, once he gets past all the angry Spanish, so I’m sure it’ll be fine!” Shiro smiles brightly at him, and Keith can’t help the small smile he shoots back. Shiro is definitely kind of a dumbass, and his fiancé is definitely about to go bananas. Like, let’s be serious. Who impulse-decides to foster a child who is also a criminal who has also stolen your shit? It’s inane!

But, well. Keith likes chaos, so. This is going to be interesting.

“Honey, I’m home!” Shiro calls as he opens the apartment door, completely unironically.

Keith forces himself to not find Shiro amusing.

He needs to have some boundaries, or he might go do something really stupid, like get attached.

Jesus.

“In the kitchen,” comes a voice, presumably from the kitchen.

Shiro brightens like a considerably excitable puppy, which is a hilarious face to see on someone who’s supposedly some fancy military officer.

Keith follows Shiro dutifully as he makes his way to the kitchen, watching as a man — the fiancé in question, Keith would assume — idly offers his cheek for a kiss (which Shiro happily obliges) without taking his eyes off the vegetables he’s cutting. Keith sets his bag in the floor and slides onto one of the stools at the kitchen island to watch this play out.

The fiancé has yet to notice him.

“How was your day?”

Shiro’s bright smile never leaves his face. “My car got jacked!” he says, in the same tone someone might say that they were promoted.

To his credit, the fiancé — yikes, Keith needs to learn his name — doesn’t even hesitate.

“That’s probably for the best,” he drawls.

“Yeah, I got it back — hey.” Shiro honest-to-god pouts, and Keith bites his lip to keep his laughter down. “That was mean, Adam. You’re a meanie.”

The fiancé — Adam, finally a name — snorts, pausing for the first time to face Shiro fully. He presses a gentle kiss to his lips, grinning the whole time.

“I’m sorry, Takashi-baby. It’s just that you’re maybe the worst driver ever to pass the test.” He softens his words with another kiss, which seems to mollify Shiro a little.

Keith quietly takes out his notebook and a pencil, and starts sketching. This will make a hilarious comic. Not that he really has anyone to show his comics, but he enjoys amusing himself.

“Anyways,” Adam continues, turning back to the cutting board, “did you get the car back?”

“Yeah! Went to the police station, talked to the kid who took it. He’s actually a sweetheart, and he returned my keys and everything. Say hi, Keith!”

Keith decides he is going to do the funniest thing he could possibly do at the moment. Well, to him, anyway.

“Hi, Keith,” he repeats.

Shiro laughs.

Adam turns around, looks at him, and sighs.

“Takashi,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “did steal a whole-ass child?”

“Of course not! I applied to foster him.”

Adam turns to Keith. “Blink twice if you’ve been kidnapped.”

“Hey!”

Keith snorts. “I don’t think Shiro is capable of kidnapping anyone.”

Adam nods seriously. “Good point. He’s not very organized, is he?”

Keith shakes his head, giggling. “His car is a mess!”

“Hey!” Shiro protests again, but he doesn��t really look upset. “That’s not fair. It’s two versus one!”

Adam and Keith look at each other. Adam raises an eyebrow. Keith nods solemnly. “I’m sorry to inform you, Takashi,” Adam says, “but you are never going to win an argument again.”

Somehow, Shiro doesn’t look very sad at the prospect.

Keith smiles to himself. Maybe this will turn out even better than he thought.

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urfavesarelesbian · 1 year

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just had a nightmare that i was in a muppets version of the movie scream i am not okay

#this sounds funny but it was horrific #the muppets weren't really the killers #they were more like the killers assistants??#like the ghostfaces could turn people into muppets #and then kill me #i ended up stabbing a guy really badly and i still kinda feel bad about it #tw knife #tw gore #this is so ridiculous lmfao #aj.txt

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caelumsnuff · 2 years

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Remember everyone! If a piece of media has flaws, and you point out and talk about those flaws, that means you hate the content and should stop engaging with it!

/s. Obviously.

#mine #this is so ridiculous lmfao

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twistedappletree · 10 months

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Lan Xichen: and what should you do when you’re feeling sad?

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying

Lan Xichen: *sprays him with a squirt bottle* NO

#was thinking of therapist meme and LMFAO #mdzs #the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #lan xichen #mo dao su zhi #therapist Xichen would actually be so funny and ridiculous bc he’s also one of the OG wangxian shippers aksbakdjs #incorrect mdzs #apple memes 🍎#twin jades #wei ying #hanguang jun #zewu jun #sorta nsfw????#implied sex

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kollapsar · 23 days

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Name change: official

Trans dick: out

Yeah boyyy I'm legally not a fantasy heroine anymore 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

#personal #my deadname was astrid and i have DISCARDED that shit lmfao #I'm sharing it bc i dont particularly care about it and its just so ridiculously distant from me it's not even me anymore lol #i am legally REVEREND GARRISON NOW HAHAHA

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soreddieforit · 10 days

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please, more OnlyFans creator Sirius. Thanks

of course lovely nonnie <3 so, kinda random, but remus works a retail job. one day sirius comes in close to closing time, when there aren’t many people around. remus is happy to see him, but also a bit suspicious—like, why would sirius, who doesn’t have an outdoorsy bone in his body, be shopping at an outdoor gear store?

he thinks he gets it when sirius heads into a dressing room with a few pairs of pants draped over his arm—pants that are about as far from his usual black ripped jeans as possible. he puts together the glint in sirius’ eyes, the smirk he was sporting, the makeup he only wears for filming, and those fucking pants—and remus knows sirius is probably gonna film a video of him getting off in the dressing room. sirius is a bit shit at being quiet too, so remus hears the quiet gasps and whines that he can’t quite hold back as he jerks off. remus is struggling, trying to stay composed with a half chub and his manager still on the floor, helping other customers.

he loses quick though, because sirius calls him back, pretending to ask for another size of pants, but really he’s flashing Remus the plug inside him, a cute lil gem, and remus is trying so hard not to faint on the spot. and the video was, truly, just supposed to be sirius jerking off in the dressing room, but when he tells remus that he put the plug in right after he fucked him before his shift—so he’s still full of remus—well, remus just has to have him again, right there, manager and customers be damned.

#can u imagine remus working at an REI or something LMFAO #the thought was so ridiculous to me i just had to #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #mail

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greensaplinggrace · 7 months

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"You can say 'all are welcome' but if wolves and sheep are both welcome you're only going to get wolves" is a quote that I think maybe end of season two alina needs to hear at some point tbh

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #sab salt #sab critical #there is so much wrong with this story in both the books and the show #but the fact that alina herself (by virtue of the authors not understanding) lacks such a fundamental understanding of oppression #and basic power structures #is uhhhh disorienting and more than a little disconcerting #'i want the lp to be a safe haven for everyone!'#girl...#it all sounds so perfect on the surface level the way centrist politics sounds pretty and perfect #but it's ridiculous lmfao #alina starkov critical #not really #i mean ill blame the writing till the cows come home #myramblings

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seraphicalsuccubus · 8 days

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oh god the next time I get fucked he’s literally going to tear my pussy in half with how much I can feel myself stretching around my small glass dildo when I’m just trying to get the fucking thing inside me right now so I can feel stretched and filled while I grind on my wand 😅🥵

#cons of having a man with a big dick when you have a tiny stupidly tight fucking pussy lmfao #like …. his size compared to how tight my pussy is literally left friction burns on his dick after he fucked me and I was soaking wet #like there was nothin fuckin dry down there and I STILL rubbed his dick like raw in spots because of my ridiculous fuckin pussy grip #shits wack man like why did I have to be so tight that using some toys can rip/tear me if they’re too big like wtf this is uncalled for #I just wanna fuck big toys/dicks without risking the life of my fucking vagina my guy #and not have to keep it out of service for like 6-8 weeks while my fucking tears and shit heal like god so fucking ANNOYING ugh sjdhfjjfjf

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gregoftom · 11 months

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what do you mean you don’t think you’re gonna be buried at my side

#I CANT STOP LAUGHINGGGG AT TOMS EXPRESSION IN THE THIRD SHOT HES LIKE. AND THATS THAT ON THAT #HES SO RIDICULOUS!!!!! I LOVE IT WHEN HE'S UNHINGED #greg you DUMMY if I get fired if I die you are coming with me!!!!!!#greg: he likes me so i'm safe tho #tom: huh???????????????????? how is that relevant???? we're one and the same????? if i die so do you ??? you're my soulmate? lmfao #the only mf you can trust is ME or did you forget that. idc if he likes you you're MINE and only i will take care of you #WHO HAS EVER LOOKED AFTER YOU IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY #ALO THE WAY HE LOOKSA T HIM WHEN HE SAYS THE HIGHEST PAID ASSISTANT GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#he can't even talk shit any more without looking at him like he's everything to him TOM YOU ARE SLIPPIIIIIING #''its the family death march'' stop SAYING that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 WE GET IT YOU COUNT GREG AS YOUR FAMILY!!!!!! YOU COUNT HIM AS #YOUR EVERYTHING!!!!!!! I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!11111111111 #tomgreg #yall just. just ANNOYING #also alsooooo the fact that tom was like did i do good? did i sound good? like greg was his little spouse brought along to a #work meet thing. that sounded good to the boss right? what do you think honey? sounded okay?#i hate them fr #ALSO SUGAR BABY GREG! SUGAR BABY GREG! SUGAR BABY GREG! S

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tmos-time · 1 year

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getting a glimpse of the stupid conversations these two have in my thoughts with this showdown doodle

#sweetmagemakesart #eridan ampora #sollux captor #erisol #purple yellow showdown #purple and yellow showdown #eridan can emulate my ridiculous halting trains of thoughts as a treat <3 #this shit is so funny to me i cant NOT doodle about this poll bracket lmfao

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wtfforged · 2 months

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it is critical that you bridal carry your 8ft tall cleric when hes in trouble

#i miss my first campaigns ridiculous character lineup so bad it was so fun #2 big ass robots(one a gladiator and one god's favorite iron giant). a giant firbolg quasimodo. and an eldritch horror #old art i think i dont remember drawing this lmfao #wtf... art #marro #dnd #dnd 5e #oc #warforged

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godblooded · 2 months

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gale has a blue μάτι (evil eye) embroidered by his mother on the left sleeve of his robe. when he was a baby, he was gifted a gold bracelet with a simple μάτι in white enamel by his godfather. it’s traditional for the godparents to buy a μάτι baby bracelet for their godchild and it must always be worn on your left wrist. it’s not to be taken off, and if it breaks it means it protected you from ill intent and must be replaced. the μάτι wards off all evil and must be a gift bought by someone else. the reasoning for this is the μάτι is imbued with the good energy and love of the giver (this goes for all jewelry too) and therefore cannot be acquired by you, as is also tradition for any μάτι one purchases or acquires. his baby bracelet no longer fits him, and he’s never acquired an ‘adult’ μάτι, as he hasn’t yet found the perfect one that’s caught his eye.

all the trouble and crisis and mystra took him away from the possibility of such a mundanity, the simple promise of an imperative touch of memory, self. he wants his mother to buy him his adult μάτι, the one he will always wear on his left wrist. she embroidered the one in his robe. when he can, when it’s right, he wants to find her one fitting of one so spectacular as herself to craft for her. by his own hands or the meticulous hands of another, any mastery will do, but the beauty must be immaculate. perhaps an enchantment.

he still has his baby bracelet, which he cherishes as it has never broken. gale often makes sure to keep it tucked away on his person (always in the left pocket of a rucksack, always in the left inseam of his robe). he keeps it close, as its enchantment is all its own. he thinks of it as a talisman, a shield, as a boon to his courage; the strength of his family and all that came before them remembered in a trinket.

#headcanon. gale dekarios.#[disclaimer: I’m 🇬🇷 and this is all 💯 facts. my adult μάτι (mah-tee) was purchased for me by my aunt who picked it out me had it made for me #at a ridiculously good jeweler in Brooklyn who’s been there since the 20s. I love it very much and I never take it off. her best friend #bought her hers (ours match) and HERS matches ours too (she’s Italian and hers is red!) I still have my baby bracelet as well. and my #necklace. my aunt and I are planning matching μάτι tattoos on our left wrists in traditional blue. the red version is Italian which is also #awesome (I grew up with Italians lmfao) and the devil horns are also warding off evil. red is also representative of Christ in greek #orthodoxy so its still loosely similar. I grew up with a creepy red light I remember glowing in the corner of our room because my γιαγιά #left it on and it was so fuckin eerie I loved it and hated it at once. anyway. gales μάτι is very personal to me and now the more you know!!#🌈]

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kentopedia · 4 months

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to my mutuals who also only write for 1-2 characters i love u so much

#esp w jjk so many ppl write about multiple chars #and i only ever want to write abt nanami LMFAO #i feel so like 🧍 sometimes #is that dumb . that's so dumb #me if i stopped criticizing myself for the most ridiculous things

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sevlawless · 1 year

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okay so the n route has been bothering me ever since i played it and i needed to air my frustrations out as a way to cope i suppose

for reference my main detective who i use for n is felicity, but sometimes i also use arabella to test out some options i wouldn't normally pick and just to see how the romance works with a detective that isn't exactly that compatible with n. so when i first played, i used felicity and then later on when i was doing a deep dive into the romance and the plot, i was using arabella just to see if certain things held up yk! and lord how i wish it did LMFAO

just a little disclaimer that this is all just my opinion and i'm willing to listen to other points of view about this! and i do not mean any of what i say as a dig or to be hateful toward n, they are my favorite li in twc and the fact that i love their romance and their character so much is probably most if not all of the reason why their route in book 3 was so weird to me, and why i make the critiques that i do.

under the cut because this is a doozy and also book 3 spoilers

first of all the main thing in the demo chapters is that n gets mad if you try and fight the trappers bc they are so scared of losing you and like i GUESS i get it but this is literally our life now you're just gonna have to get used to it. and this wouldn't have even been an big issue for me if it was properly addressed! when i played using arabella i tried being mad, i tried staying mad, and it kept getting swept under the rug by the plot. like are we seriously not going to talk about this??? at all?????? and it seems very ooc for n NOT to say anything about it when you get a moment alone because why would they not address it, ESPECIALLY if your mc was still upset over it. AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE- these things need to be discussed in order to grow as a couple and there needs to be healthy communication or else this is not going to work. like you're telling me we were living with unit bravo for WEEKS and this shit just never got brought up again?

this also ties into my next gripe- n's backstory. so, if you snooped in the demo they won't tell you anything, which okay. mc shouldn't have done that, sure, but n doesn't even give a reason as to why they're upset by that. obviously you can be like "well i think anyone would be upset if you delved into their past without their knowledge or permission" but YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON WHY IS THERE NO COMMUNICATION OF FEELINGS. i would have appreciated that scene a hell of a lot more if n sat you down and was like "i'm upset that you did this, here's why," but all they do is get sad and then that's it. when i played as arabella i had her snoop AND get upset over the argument during the trapper fight, and n said something along the lines of "i know sometimes we regret doing things" as a reference to snooping AND the argument which??? just does NOT hold up at all and had me irritated as hell.

if you didn't snoop in the demo, n takes you to their room and shows you a picture of their family and talks about them and how his brother joined the navy and didn't come back (their brother was killed by vampires) and that's why they decided to join the navy, as a way to try and figure out what actually happened. this scene started off great, but it's cut short way too quickly because n drops the photo and the frame breaks. and then they basically just shoo you out. there's really not any option to comfort them, and the option that is there is not good enough. and it's not that n had to tell us EVERYTHING in that one scene, but it's more so the fact that it NEVER gets brought up again. your mc can't take a moment to bring it up and n sure as hell doesn't say anything else about it. which is so ?????? im sorry you supposedly love this person (im saying this for both mc and n) and yet neither of you address it again??? it makes no sense at all.

onto the research/combat scene… i've done the combat scene once so i can't really speak on that as much as the research one so. most of the research scene is fine aside from the fact if you're not in a relationship (which i did for one playthrough with felicity) n brings up bobby if you dated them which felt so bizarre but anyways. the option to realize you love n… i would love this IF the option where you tell n you love them actually mattered. LMFAO if you tell n you love them they literally just stare at you and then the sex scene pops up. like are you kidding me??? n would not just leave you hanging like that even if it was just to say that they don't feel that way yet. and the sex scene itself is… fine i suppose but it doesn't feel as intimate as it should be. there's little to no dialogue and it just feels so weird to read. like why would neither of you be saying anything?? not to mention the fact that you're literally OUTSIDE of the warehouse where any of ub could see you at any point it just feels wrong to have sex at that point at least in my opinion. and the talk after feels so short and weird i feel like both the detective and n would have more to say. and that moment is quickly brushed away by the plot.

i guess the next plot line is whether u told tina or verda or nobody about the supernatural. going into book 3 this was probably what i looked forward to the most and ofc it barely delivered. i liked seeing tina and n interact but that quickly turned sour for me, not because tina started rightfully bringing up how much mc has been through, but because n really does not do anything with that pov being voiced to them, which is so fucking ooc it pains me. when they go to talk to mc after their conversation there's no discussion just "i wanted to see you" okay but WHY did you? i would have taken a li pov of what tina relayed to them literally anything! and it's just another thing that gets swept under the rug because of the stupid ass plot.

another thing about the dinner that gets lost in the plot of book 3: tina/verda bringing up your li possibly drinking your blood and mc can react a number of different ways and i wish it had been talked about more than just in that moment 😭

the only scene that i genuinely enjoyed in all of n's route was after that building caves in on mc and you're back at the warehouse traumatized and bruised and defeated. n runs you a bath and if you pick that option helps you out of your clothes and then helps you settle into bed. i wish there had been more discussion of anything in that scene but mc was so out of it i was okay with no talking. and then redacted petname <3 the other thing i was most looking forward to! one thing i did dislike about this scene though was that we didn't really get a glimpse on how n was feeling yk usually mishka offers the li's pov on a scene and not having that made that moment not feel as rounded out.

the pool scene… first of all why did n get this one. like it would have made sense for m, hell even a! and again the scene felt so shallow and then the option to have sex. you're telling me your first time with n can be on a fucking pool table???? that is so not their vibe AT ALL and it feels so weird to even have that there. it was unnecessary as well as the other opportunity to have sex and i feel like mishka just put them in there as like fan service when who (in my opinion) genuinely wants this if they romance n and have them as their main route. i had hoped the first time n and mc have the opportunity to have sex it would be a more intimate setting because that's more fitting for them and my nate mc, felicity. but nope! and then the scene gets cut short because n has to go on patrol??? and again the sex scene itself … neither of them feel personable it's like a "one size fits all" type of approach and that just does not work if this is supposed to be interactive fiction where we create a personality for our mc's that cannot fit this specific mold mishka wants to put everyone in.

being invited to what might as well just be a fucking slave trade (i have many thoughts about this auction plotline as well but for now im discussing n's route) had me so confused because why would mishka even do that and then n's comment about the stationary? i need you to be fucking for real. the scene before you leave for the mission with n just felt so weird like we get it n is protective of mc but at this point it just felt like a hinderance which sucks because one of the things i love most about n is their deep care for mc and they just sounded like a broken record and it annoyed me so bad.

after all that, the scene when you come back and n is in tears confessing their love for mc i wanted to enjoy it i really did and i just could not upon replaying because it feels so unbelievably hollow. we have not discussed anything pertaining our relationship and when there are things that need to be discussed they are so underwhelming it's hard to even care. there are a handful of things n and mc both need to work on in order for this relationship to work and the fact that they're not being addressed makes it difficult for me to enjoy anything about this route. you can't even tell n you love them back for fuck's sake like hello.

a theme that i did not think was going to be as prominent as it was in this book but n contemplating mc turning into a vampire and AGAIN there wasn't ever really a discussion about this between mc and n and i feel like this will come to a head as the books progress but i don't think it fit into book 3 considering so many other things were being thrown at us.

all in all i truly desperately wanted to enjoy book 3 and enjoy being with n but i cannot when there are so many things ignored, sidelined, or just completely forgotten in order to push the plot forward.

#n sewell #twc book 3 #twc book 3 spoilers #again this is in no way an attack on n i love them sm it's embarrassing at times #i just wanted better for their route and for this book and it sucks bc these are such minor tweaks in the grand scheme of things -#but when they pile up like this it becomes hard to ignore and just feels like the amount of discrepancies is overwhelming #it has been a horrible couple of days being natesewell . LMFAO #anyway if u made it this far thanks for reading <3 #i seriously was debating even making this post as well but my brain needed to do SOMETHING like #ugh .#twc is such a comfort to me and so is n it's just hard to not take this so hard #and i know that probably sounds ridiculous to say since this is literally just fiction #but yea !#feel free to send me asks/dms abt this i would love to discuss this more

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