#this is pure self indulgence at this point. its healing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mac-and-thefox · 7 months

Text

Everyone seems to really be going through it this weekend. Here is an offering of fluff 💙 purely self-indulgent sappy love-struck Phantom crushing and pining over Rain because my brain is in chaos and needs some softness 🙃

Cw: fantasizing, hand jobs

Elixir of Life

The woods outside the abbey have always been a special place for Phantom.

When he was new from the Pit, before finding his place in the dynamic of the pack, he would take frequent walks in the woods. He would just wander, marveling at the light filtering through the trees and giving the forest floor an ethereal glow. They didn't have light like this in the Pit, and he'd find himself in awe of all of the simple, natural wonders of the surface world.

What amazed him the most was how there was water everywhere. There was so little water in the Infernal ring he had come from. What little there was to be found was putrid, acidic, and stank of sulfur and brimstone. Although dank and toxic, it was still a precious commodity. Ghouls fought tooth and nail with each other for a handful to drink. He would run his fingertips over the scars etched in his face, through his milky eye that no longer had sight, and shudder at the memories of his siblings growling and maiming for the right to a few drops to quench their thirst.

The water here though, it was safe and cool, it was healing. The water here brought life, and that life was something he could hear, smell and taste all around him as he stepped through the trees on this particular day.

There was no path leading to where he wanted to go. At this point he had come to this place so many times that it was imprinted in his heart.

Phantom moved silently through the trees, having left his shoes at the edge of the wood. He padded over the moss on the ground and ducked under fallen trunks and branches until he came to a clearing.

This was his safe place, a haven for him to go and clear his mind; to escape, not that he didn't love his pack fiercely, but to have a moment away from the mentally exhausting process of learning all the things and customs that came with being on the surface.

This clearing, with its aspen trees, it's small meadow of wildflowers, it's clear, pure stream-fed pool, was a place for him to breathe, and reflect, and read his books.

Here, he would also find Rain.

Phantom had been fascinated by Rain the moment he had stepped out of the summoning circle and set eyes on the water ghoul. Water ghouls were basically non-existant in his circle of Hell. The fact that Rain had elemental power over water, could just summon it and influence it at will, was something Phantom marveled at and still struggled to wrap his mind around.

Rain, with his creamy skin, long graceful limbs, dark soft curls, and eyes so strikingly blue it made Phantom's heart ache to look into them.

The young quint had longed to...just touch Rain, to twine their tails together and run his claws through Rain's hair. To run his thumbs over his soft, perfect skin. While Rain was perfectly friendly and had welcomed him with open arms into the pack, Phantom had simply been too shy and nervous to do anything about it.

So here he sat, knees drawn up to his chest in the soft moss and foliage as he hid behind his book in the shade of a golden aspen. Across the clearing, Rain lounged in the pool, floating on the surface of the water as he watched the clouds track slowly across the sky.

Every so often Phantom would peek over the pages of his novel and watch the water ghoul in his element. Occasionally Rain would raise his head to look over to the young quintessence ghoul watching him and smile to himself as Phantom would notice him looking back and hide back behind his book, pointed ears reddening and scent tinging with shyness and embarrassment.

Phantom yearned to just sit and watch Rain twist and glide through the water like the most graceful, perfect creature of the sea. He longed to run his hands along the colorful, delicate beta fins that came with Rain's unglamored form. He wondered what would happen if he could lightly caress Rain's gills with his fingertips. What Rain's perfect, full lips would look like whispering his name. He let his mind wander as he tried to get his heart rate down from getting caught looking.

In his mind, Phantom could be brave. He could put his book down and cross the clearing to the pool. He could reach down into the pool and cup Rain's beautiful face in his hands before softly pressing their lips together, sighing as he felt Rain's plush mouth give and open for him.

In his mind, he could be brave enough to slip into the pool with Rain and draw the water ghoul into him to straddle his lap while caressing the muscled planes of Rain's back and shoulders. He could run his nose along Rain's throat, leaving soft kisses and licks in his wake as he basked in the scent of water lillies and fresh morning dew. He could feel his quintessence dancing across the water ghoul's skin as he reached out with his magic to elevate what they were both feeling.

Phantom could work up the courage to gently grip Rain's hips and slowly start grinding up into the water ghoul. He could practically hear Rain's soft sighs and whimpers as they pressed close together; hands roaming, touching, caressing. He could feel Rain's hands tracing patterns on his chest before coming up to entangle themselves in Phantom's hair. Maybe Rain would start rutting against his stomach, with kisses becoming more insistent, more filthy as Rain pushed his tongue past Phantom's teeth to caress the quint ghoul's tongue with his, claiming Phantoms mouth and lips like they're Rain's to own.

Maybe Phantom could then draw Rain back in his lap just enough to free his cock from his shorts before pulling him back in to grind their cocks together. He could cup Rain's ass in his hands, kneading the firm muscle as he moved Rain's body against his to find the perfect rhythm and pressure that left them both gasping and moaning into each other's mouths.

In his mind they were sharing breath, riding a high off of each others' scents and arousal as they drove each other closer to coming undone in each others' arms. Hands moving to tweak nipples, tug on hair, rest on throats, caress gills, to take both cocks in hand and jack them off together as they rutted against each other.

Phantom could imagine what it would feel like to see Rain's eyes roll back into his head and whisper Phantom's name against his lips before crying out and cumming between them. Phantom would follow shortly with his own release, his head dropping to Rain's shoulder to bite as he moaned out his ecstasy against the water ghoul's dewey, perfect skin.

In his mind they would rest against each other in the water, exchanging soft words, gentle kisses and touches as they drank in each other's presence in this moment. A second lasting an hour as the two willed to stay suspended in this moment for eternity.

***

Phantom came back into the present and jolted to awareness as he noticed Rain standing over him, a curious and slightly concerned expression on his face. Rain crouched down and cupped Phantom's cheek in his hand.

"Hey Stardust...you back? Where did you float off to?"

Phantom blushed all the way to the tips of his ears as he moved his book to cover the now very obvious boner in his lap.

"Sorry, sorry..it's nothing. I'm fine,"

Rain sat back on his haunches and looked at Phantom for a moment before shrugging and offering his hand.

"Alright, well c'mon then. We should be getting back,"

Phantom took Rain's hand and stood, trying to discreetly adjust his shorts to make the lump in his pants a little less obvious.

They left the clearing and made their way back to the abbey. Phantom trailed slightly behind to watch Rain as he stepped through the trees with the grace and poise of the most elegant deer.

"Yeah," he thought to himself, "maybe one day I'll brave enough."

Water was a special thing indeed.

@jesusbutbetterrr @jimothybarnes @iamthecomet @jazz-bazz @littlemoon-beam @criticaloser @kamonart @sphylor

#mac writes #phantom x rain #phantom ghoul #rain ghoul #the band ghost #ghost fan fiction

176 notes · View notes

voidcat · 2 years

Text

– armed detective agency taking care of you when you're sick

a/n: self indulgent drabble lol... legit wrote this with a fever + headache while tired so there may b typos etc idk

yosano akiko: asseses your situation, pinpoints what it is you're suffering from and gives you the most effective, appropirate medicine, makes sure you rest and stay hydrated. do you need to stay tucked in bed and sweat? she'll make sure of it. do you need help getting up? don't worry she's got it covered, just say whatever you need. she'll order a good old hot chicken broth soup (or something similar to it) with spices and lemon. recovery in record time, probably the quickest and most comfortable you've healed, ever. her medical experience shows through her treatment but she makes sure to check you emotionally and support you.

kunikida doppo: similar to yosano but he fusses over it a bit more... keeping count of which medication you took down to its very second. he'll worry at first but keep his emotions in check in no time and go with a logical approach. anything you want, he will make it, cook it, help you drink or eat it if he must. he might be a bit too stern about use things such as painkillers, antibiotics etc... checking what kind of reaction what medicine might have with the other, spending time to pick the safest option for you.

miyazawa kenji: less fussing and more smiles. it's a mix of natural remedies and a modern approach. so let's say you have a fever, he'll prepare a vinegar soaked washcloth to your forehead, if your throat hurts, he will mix turmeric and honey, brew you tea and prepare a family recipe that'll mix you up in no time! (he might dial up the agency before going with some of his more natural remedies if some of them didn't produce the best of results the last time though)

fukuzawa yukichi: he will be worried at first, but gather himself and making sure you're tucked safely in the confienements of your bed (after a good bath and change of clothes), he will rush out to get what's best for your situation. ask yosano, or the clerk at the pharmacist if needed... he might, lose track of time and return a bit later than planned, only to see you've long fallen asleep though. stay by your side for as long as he can, run his hand over your skin or hair to soothe you whenever you are awake and suffering from a headache, probably end up as a human pillow at some point.

ranpo edogawa: he most likely got sick right before you did... (okay joke aside he'll probably appear as nonchalant but dial up fukuzawa and ask the agency for help, then seat himself next to you in bed snacking as you take whatever medicine, tea or soup they provided you. he is more of a moral support if anything... even though he'll complain the whole time about how your plans for the day together are now ruined and you've left him all alone

dazai osamu: probably the most useless out of them all (along with atsushi) similar to ranpo, he will have someone else do all the work (buying medicine, cooking etc), toss around and be all dramatic when there is no response from you because you've fallen asleep. might go as far as to go all out and act around as if you're dying (that's how he got the agency members over to your place with anything useful they could think of– be it a first aid kit and all) but despite all the dramatics, like fukuzawa, he will stay by your side– you may end up as the human pillow though, or both of you falling asleep on one another and waking up in uncomfortable positions, limbs hurting and all.

nakajima atsushi: spend a good portion of his time worrying and fussing over you for sure. dramatic, but it is all about you. he will call the first person he can think of for help, asking what he should do and shouldn't. he might try to cook something with whatever ingredients he got at hand, it's purely luck whether it'll taste good or not (he might've added in sugar instead of salt, don't make that face now) with the arrival of help, he might stand back and watch, but asking every five minutes or so how you are feeling, is your headache gone, what is it you need, oh wait let me stack up pillows for your back– at the end of the day, he'll exhaust himself as well and fall asleep next to you, making sure your position is comfortable.

436 notes · View notes

dirtyoldmanhole · 1 month

Text

SURPRISINGLY not about gunter. or fates. somehow this blog became 'fire emblem blorbo blog: speedwing* boogaloo' :P (*for those of you who are not like, ancient, "speedwing' used to be my old tellius-based sideblog.)

anyway

(very very very self indulgent ramblin / workshopping about future FE projects ahead)

next year's FE9's 20th anniversary and i am dead set on doing a zihark doujin for it. i got halfway through with one with tons of drawings that are still badass, lord knows that my fondness for him eclipses everything else i've ever drawn, i feel like i can finally do him justice, etc. this is The Moment tween krad has been waiting for all her life.

thing is i've been quietly debating to myself for a year or so if i want to do a strictly canon based doujin or one with selfshipper Stuff.

see, i thought i was going for more of a fanservice angle to sidestep that a little (still totally sliding that in whenever possible) but my brain unfortunately needs like a Modicum of Characterization :D; (as i am finding out with this gunter doujin). i need little plot hanger hooks even if it's gag strips or one off doodles.

and. i like. okay.

quick pros/con of canon-based doujin: wider audience, i don't have certian hangups over it

quick pros/cons of selfshipper doujin: it would probably heal certian parts of my soul if i wasn't being so chickenshit about it. it'd still be pretty? but it'd be harder to draw. i don't know if it would have a meaning to other than literally one (1) alive person and at some point i do have to kinda weigh the 'is the time sink worth it'

anyway

there's, very literally 20 years of inside jokes and shit with the selfshipper thing. i cannot stress to you zi literally got me to start drawing seriously. i don't know why i'm saying this other than 'this verse might be a bit self referential and i don't know if people would Get It compared to just canon (which i 10000% love on its own rights, it's not like i'm secretly dying to just do the selfshipper thing - ideally i would do a doujin of both because just what's in the games proper is so, so cool. he's such a weirdo. :D and tellius is the kind of cast i could stick him with literally anyone and wrangle up a cool scene.

- but. but?

the obvious answer is (do a doujin with both krad, like duh, people are gonna love the pretty pix no matter what ur overthinking it) but it just feels weird...? mixing the streams, if only in a pure technical/storytelling sense, and even above Personal Stuff i want to respect this on a pure craft level. ( i 100% love and go feral over the current wave of the selfshipper revival and would protect them with my life but with me it still feels inexplicably private and... i'm of elder internet, man. for me it still feels ... like it did in the 00's. very fringe-y vulnerable, you know? if you were there you know. idk. i'm still working through some of that.

feelings, god i hate feelings. just give me gorgeous dudes to draw to shut my brain up :D;;; )

#high chance of me deleting this in the morning but i appreciate anyone who read it anyway #shit's what tumblr's for lol

14 notes · View notes

notknickers · 7 months

Text

Sweet Wound

eroticising bodily injuries is so sexy of me.

synopsis: there are aches that only time can heal, but in the meantime, what's a man to do, when he has got no more patience to spare?

warnings: stabbing (non-graphic), blood (mentioned), masturbation to questionable thoughts (oh-so-graphic), drooling, messy & filthy könig

word count: 898

a/n: this one is pure self-indulgence but, based on my hcs, i don't find it to be out-of-character for könig: you be the judge of that. hope you enjoy and, as per usual, this is intended for an adult audience.

the scar itched on his side. it often did in the least appropriate moments, such as out in the field or right before falling asleep. it was disruptive. nothing new to colonel könig, whose skin was littered with scar tissue, old and older, all throughout.

yet, it had been a while since he earned himself a new one to add to his living tapestry of twisted flesh and skin. he had forgotten how annoyingly wounds healed into scars. they itched. they ached. they forced memories in his mind he had no need of.

this one was still fresh. pink. tender. hypertrophic. he felt it every time he slipped a t-shirt over his head and straightened it at the waist, or accidentally brushed his hip with a hand.

sometimes, pawing at it would soothe enough its demands. sometimes, it only awakened others. it was a difficult balancing act with no certain predictions.

that fucking keloidal lump!

a stupid move in a stupid moment. he got sloppy during a close confrontation with enemy patrols and got grazed. well, a little more than grazed. stabbed.

not too deep. nothing serious. nothing long-term. just annoying.

könig reprimanded himself for letting his guard down while he contemplated whether to scratch his itch, or not.

once the enemy was dispatched – and the bastard responsible for his wound made to pay tenfold for their hubris – it was all a matter of patching himself up.

he started to, when one of his recruits stepped in, pointing out his filthy hands would only make things worse. luckily, they carried sterile gauzes and saline. the ever-prepared goodie-two-shoes…

they bared their superior’s flank, disregarding his foolish glaring, and began pouring the liquid on to the wound, draining both blood and anything that might be trapped – clothing fibres, dirt grains… hopefully nothing nasty coating the offending blade.

he hissed when the recruit pressed the gauze across the cut, causing them to falter a moment, before they resumed squeezing down on colonel könig’s side, aided by his very large hand covering theirs.

unpleasant though it was, it had to be done.

the look on the recruit’s face flashed in his mind’s eye, a mixture of confusion and mild discomfort when they tried to slip their hand away from under his, but könig held them there more than a moment longer, before letting them free.

since then, he hadn’t gone a day without wondering, even briefly, what the recruit’s fingers would have felt inside his ruined flesh. teasing at the edge of the wound lip as it oozed, thick and red, before plunging inside, gently at first, only to set every nerve ending on fire after forgoing any gentleness.

what he wouldn’t have given to go back there and beg them to explore the tender insides just under his skin.

why was he like that? he often asked himself, but no answer would follow.

no point wondering, then.

a reluctant finger pad started circling his scar, uncertain at first, gaining confidence as the raised flesh grew closer, while his other hand went to his cock, stirred by his thoughts since they first began plaguing him and strained against his cage of fabric and ill-will. he angrily freed it from his pants, veiny heft already painfully engorged and leaking, as it always was.

he did not waste time toying with it. he wanted to be done as soon as he could.

he wrapped his hand around it and began stroking, squeezing tightly at the reddened head, collecting his own slick to slide down to the root, where pale curls cushioned the fury of his own hand.

it didn’t take könig long to hear his own laboured breathing. fingers still pressing in the soft meat of the keloid on his side, he captured the hem of his mask between his ruined lips, chewing on it not to hear himself.

useless effort, as the more his fingers pressed into his scar, the more his hips shoved into his fist and the more his hand rhythmically stroked his meaty cock, the more he wished he could burrow inside his wound, open it again, violate it with his thick fingers.

a short nail bit into it, impressing a crescent shape in the swollen red of the recently-healed tissue.

his mask was drenched in spit. it trickled down the side of his mouth, uneven lips incapable of containing his saliva since the childhood incident, leaving him, more often than not, to drool, unless he paid mind to avoid it.

if he kept rubbing at his scar like that, he might have his wish of unsealing its scar tissue chrysalis to let crimson flow, stain his fingers. his seed, spurting hot on his hand and stomach almost lulled him into believing it.

he whined in pleasure, but he could have howled in disappointment, as he knew it was not so.

the tension dissipated too quickly from his strained muscles and könig found himself sagging on the mattress he lay on, tears streaming down his cheeks in that confounding liminality of afterglow. he could taste their salt, as he stared at the ceiling, seed congealing on his damp, sweaty skin.

könig did not bother cleaning himself up, nor did he roll down his tank top, or tucked his cock back in his drawers. he lay there, dirty, used, tired…

that would be tomorrow’s problem. for now, he would just sleep.

#cod #call of duty #könig #konig #könig cod #konig cod #könig mw2 #konig mw2 #könig mwii #konig mwii #könig headcanons #konig headcanons #könig smut #konig smut #könig x reader #konig x reader

9 notes · View notes

jikookhet · 3 months

Text

d-day, a conversation of yoongi's artistry ❦

listen, listen, listen.

i know collectively as a fandom we speak about yoongi's artistry, however, i don't think we speak about it enough. or, at least, in a lengthened & deepened conversation. his artistry is something that consistently captivates me time and time again. everything from the concepts he portrays, the lyrics he pulls out, the cinematography he executes, & the stories he embodies to put out for us. everything from point a to b is purely & utterly insane. here, i want to focus on d-day, but first; we need to take it back. way back.

as we know, yoongi has three personas. from 2013 to 2016, it was the two personas of min yoongi, as a person, & suga, as an artist. the 'agust d' persona was officially introduced to us as of august, 2016. this persona held up quite a reputation for being 'savage', 'relentless', & 'outspoken' — & wrongfully so. to simply assume that he is savage or disrespectful for letting out all of his rightfully pent-up emotions as a result of a barrage of hate, is horrible.

"in 2016, we really described us was that we are from living hell because we were attacked by so many different areas and we didn't even know why. 'why do they hate us so much?' that was the thing we focused on. and i was full of anger." — yoongi, road to d-day.

agust d was the persona that yoongi used as a coping mechanism— for many things, really. all the hate, all the internal suffering, all the trauma. agust d was born out of nothing but pure anger & frustration, which we can see through many tracks— agust d, tony montana, daechwita, & what do you think. however, this anger & frustration weren't only directed at external figures, but also directed internally, at yoongi himself. though, it manifested as seeping pain and sadness, instead.

in many ways, agust d was an outlet for all his pent-up emotions & thoughts, yet in many ways, it was holding him back from the things he needed the most. healing & forgiveness. not from others, of course not, but rather— himself.

truthfully, the way he portrayed this was so gut-wrenching & heartbreaking. he perceives his traumas as being caused by himself— hence the self-inflicted scar on his face. his father's liver cancer, which he learnt whilst on a schedule. his mom's heart surgery; from an incredibly young age (three to four years old), yoongi blamed himself for his mother's illness as she developed it after giving birth to him. yoongi's specific memory at this age was of him in his mom's embrace & since felt guilty over him causing it, wondering— "is it right for me to be born?" (beyond the story, 2023.) the shoulder accident he had which he couldn't tell anyone, including his bandmates, at that time in fear of being let go. a torn shoulder that he dealt with for over seven years whilst working full-time, touring often, & regularly doing intense choreography.

throughout yoongi's music videos, there's a repeated motif of killing this scarred version of himself— a key symbol for his attempts to leave the past behind & live in the present. however, undertaking these attempts to do so while not healing or forgiving yourself is a dangerous path to go down. because you'd end up stuck in this endless & vicious cycle of self-torture. in this way, it's like you're continuously indulging in your pain through being unable to forgive yourself & wishing you could undo what happened, though it's out of your control.

something incredibly meaningful to me was how yoongi said d-day was the closing chapter to the agust d trilogy. that it might be hard to see him again, that as he continues to grow older & older, he gets less angry at the world & at himself. the trilogy lasting ten years with a man who's changed for those ten years right alongside it, has come to its blossoming end. a closed chapter to the pain & trauma that held him down all these years.

to those who might not know to yoongi is, or may not understand, i hope you come to the realization as to why people call min yoongi's works a piece of art. because, in his words, there is strength & pain. the kind that gut-wrenchingly bruises & burns without hesitation but offers a lifelong worth of embracement whole in return. the kind that sends crashing ripples & rumbles reverberating through one's chest but offers a delicate hand in return.

min yoongi is truly one of a kind.

#suga #yoongi #haegeum #agustd dday #dday #bts #bangtan

6 notes · View notes

liquid-geodes · 1 year

Text

Because @lo-batt is actually the first person to ever show interest in this one, this is FINALLY going to be an explanation of the Glitched Afton au!

Godspeed and good luck

So this one was created out of pure self indulgence, and then it took on a mind of its own.

Glitched Afton is just Glitchtrap! Except he's escaped the VR headset (thanks to your help) and he now lives in the various electronic devices in your home! (But mostly your phone since you use that the most)

Now the fun thing with him is that despite still being digitally tethered, he can manifest in the physical world. He doesn't always need to be around his tether, since he can bank off of any electronics in the area. Like genuinely once he got help to get out of the game itself he was no longer bound by code and gained free range. There's obviously a LOT of electronics in day to day life that he can draw energy from, so really the only thing keeping him in your house is the fact that he likes you.

ANYWAY

His default form is, obviously, the amalgamation of black goo we see inside Princess Quest, THATS what he is truly. But he can manipulate his form, and most often appears as himself, usually before the springlock incident ever occurred.

His ability to hold these forms though rely entirely on his emotions.

Sometimes he's having a really bad day emotionally, days where he feels every bit like the monster he was. Those are the days Springtrap is around.

Some days he's his usual, extravagant self. That's when he'll appear the most human, though sometimes he'll cycle between William Afton and Dave Miller. He was both of these people at some point, and while he exclusively identifies himself as William Afton regardless of which human form he takes, he refuses to deny what tragedy had done to him physically. That tragedy was part of him whether he liked it or not, he couldn't pretend that it never happened.

Some days he just doesn't have the energy to keep up a form at all, so he'll stay inside your electronics as Glitchtrap.

You never really see his true form. You'll catch it in flashes if his emotions become particularly unstable, but he ultimately does a pretty good job at hiding the amalgamation from you. Sometimes when the threads on his glitchtrap form come loose, you'll catch glimpses of something black churning inside, but you're kind enough to never mention it, opting instead to grab a needle and some thread to reinforce his seams. He's more grateful for this than you'd ever know, and it makes him trust you all the more.

You'll see a lot of Springtrap at first, since he thinks so lowly of himself. There's no denying that what he did was unforgivable, and while he has no intention of changing, he refuses to drag you down into it. So he keeps you as far removed from his sinister plans as possible. You know what he's doing, you know you can't stop him once his mind is set on something, your hands are tied. He doesn't bring it up around you, and you certainly aren't going to make it your business, not with the highly anticipated Freddy Fazbear Mega Pizzaplex opening very soon.

You don't know about Vanessa, you don't know where he is when you can't find him around the house or don't see him anywhere on your phone, you dont know he's doing something inside that pizzaplex.

You don't know he's building a new body. You don't know his physical body is trying to heal itself. You don't know the terrible things this man is capable of, you never have to see that side of him.

The worst you ever see of him is how he views himself, the moments when his physical form glitches out as years of repressed trauma start to catch up to him.

You know who he is, what he's done in the past, but he never once acted in any way that made you think he was up to his old ways. He treated you kindly, adored every little thing about you, never let anything happen to you when he was out with you. He loved you.

And that's why he couldn't tell you what he was doing when you weren't around.

Basically I just like the idea of Glitchtrap being able to control his form if he's taken out of the limitations of the video game, and I like the idea of that being tied directly to his emotional state because hoo boy does he have a lot of unaddressed trauma to deal with.

We love a highly unstable computer virus

#dave posting #link's aus #glitched afton au

16 notes · View notes

hongism · 7 months

Note

Hey bestie heeeeeey~

I'm officially caught up with MOC so now I can tell you my feelings~

So, first of all, how dare you? There's no reason for the emotional whiplash I experienced reading this monstrosity (positive with all the love and respect in the world i promise) yet here i am... a further damaged woman lmfao

But forreal though, you have a great ability to pull emotions out of your readers and thats just amazing in my eyes, especially as a fellow writer myself :') theres nothing I love more than making the ppl who read my own fics suffer emotionally so congrats to you!

I love how you write everyone in the story, they are so incredibly flawed and fucked up and human that it just makes me shed a tear. Thats why MC frustrates the HELL out of me, even though I adore her. Her flaws make my ass itch but all i want for her is to heal and be happy in the end (same with the others! I be wanting to punch the shit outta them sometimes 😭)

ESPECIALLY Hongjoong cause my guy is just unhinged but i love his character the most honestly because unhinged is hot to me. Im still kicking my feet and twirling my hair lmao

The relationships are so real and just... messy. Messy messy in the best way. But i just have to cheer them all on.

That chapter when mc and yeosang banged I was quite literally going bonkers like HELLO?????????????? I didnt expect that but now i want more of it cause their dynamic (especially when it comes to wooyoung) is so juicy

MC is such a tragic character and I feel for her the most. I love how we started off thinking Jisung was this great person but turns out that hes a fucking lunatic. You, Caly literally manipulated us into thinking so, like how Jisung manipulated MC and idk if that was intentional or not but it was brilliant. And Hyunwoo turning out to be like *that* was a punch in the gut. MC being betrayed by the ppl she cared for so much makes her question everything on the crew, especially Hongjoong and that's why I cant be too frustrated with her lol

I dont want this ask to be so long cause i can go in about every little detail 😭 but youve dont such an amazing job. The world building is beautiful, and i dont rly read a lot of scifi like fictions set in space, but when i first got into ateez the first thing i thought of were pirates / space pirates and i even started my own fic with that premise bc i cant help myself but be self indulgent trash so 🤷🏼‍♀️ but thats beside the point

I cant wait to read more of this masterpiece and see how things go. I want everyone to be happy cause you are putting them through the fucking ringer 😭😭😭 please go easy on them I cant take more of this 😭😭😭😭

hehe emotional whiplash is my specialty!!! i too am very much damaged after writing moc. and the damage will continue. for the good of the plot!!!

i'm so touched you think so, i really love evoking emotion out of the reader in my works and i'm glad that im effective in doing so <3 one of my goals from the start of writing moc was to create an mc who isn't always likable or enjoyable to read bc i find those sorts of stories unrealistic and sometimes boring, because even tho the setting is very much not real, having characters who do feel real has always been huge to me! i love creating characters who have peaks and valleys, who grow and stumble along the way, and to really show a journey of growth!! hongjoong is just. pure insanity at its finest LOL he's gonna take a lot to fix but we'll see!

i honestly had way too much fun writing that chapter too, i love love looooooove a good hatefuck and it was just too tempting to NOT do >.<

it was fully intentional to sort of bring the readers in on the manipulation yes hehe! i like playing my cards very close to my chest and not giving anything away until the absolute last second i can!!! i think you hit on something lots of people who want her to just give into hongjoong forget - she's experienced so much betrayal from the people she trusted most and that does really stick in the brain and cause lasting trauma, and our poor mc is deeply traumatized by many things that have happened to her! it only makes sense for her to be retaliating and distrustful of those around her in these circumstances!!

thank you so much for enjoying everything so far and for all the lovely compliments they really mean so much to me i cherish them a lot 🥹🥹❤️❤️

#caly answer #moc: spoilers

2 notes · View notes

redroom-rainbowguts · 1 year

Text

A Gross Experiment

Word Count: 1950

Tw: Sexual assault, blood, kidnapping, drugs, medical horror, self harm, non con

The blonde haired woman forced her eyes open, drowsiness quickly dissolving into panic as she realized where she was. White pulled up a stool, shifting his weight so the wheeled legs propelled him forward towards her. He glanced up at the woman he’d strapped to a vintage medical table. Though old, most of the mint green bed was in perfect condition, save for some bits near the edges that had cracked to reveal the foam cushion inside.

“You know, you’re pretty lucky,” he said. She squirmed against the leather restraints holding her arms and legs in place. “Most people don’t get any sort of anesthesia. If I wanted to fuck with a compliant subject, I’d just grab someone from the morgue or something, you know? Why go out of my way to rob someone of life if I just wanted to play with a bunch of lifeless organs? The screams, the fighting, the gaze somewhere between rage and despair, that’s what makes it feel like I’m actually doing something. What can I say, it feels good to make a difference.

But you, you my dear, I’ve got plans for you.” White stood up, peeling tape from the woman's head. She winced as layer after layer ripped the hair from her head; he’d been meticulous in wrapping it around not just her mouth but her neck as well to ensure she couldn’t simply work it off with enough moisture and patience. Her lip quivered.

“W-What are you going to do to me?” She asked. He trailed a finger along the IV connecting her arm to a bag of fluid. He twisted a small clamp at the base free, and the clear liquid dribbled down the thin tube into her vein.

“Assuming my theory is correct, something that’ll feel really, really good.” Too many questions to choose from left her silently incredulous. White smiled. His gloved hand wiped a stray tear from her cheek as he spoke again. “I may have brought you here unwillingly, but I’m not a liar. I’ve been nothing but open with you about my intentions, haven’t I? I’m simply a student studying and working hard to further my own education. Even when we met I said I bet you’d be a fantastic lab partner.” White traced a few of the still healing cuts lining her abdomen- an appetizer he’d selfishly indulged in as she’d slept. “And I was absolutely correct, working with you has been lovely.”

The woman opened her mouth, but no words came out. Whatever was being fed into her veins was making her limbs feel heavy. No, not just heavy, they didn’t feel at all. A violent tingling washed down her body, leaving pure nothingness in its place. She may as well have been a consciousness capable only of sight and hearing. She managed to squeak out a confused gasp just before the paralytic stole that from her as well. White perked up.

“Ah, I was wondering how long it would take for the anesthesia to kick in. Like I said, it’s not often I use it, so I wasn’t entirely sure just how long it would take.” He scribbled down a few notes. “I’ve put a lot of work into ensuring what I use is as fast acting as possible, though I have to sacrifice some degree of speed or else it’s far too volatile. I don’t need you dropping dead on me before we’re done, it’d be such a waste!”

The woman couldn’t decide whether his rambling was making the situation better or worse. It humanized him, somewhat, a bit like when a doctor explains everything going on to a nervous patient. But on the other hand, he had obviously drugged her at some point to kidnap her, and now he was not so much speaking to her as he was speaking at her with the same calm disconnect as a mortician referring to a cadaver.

“I’ve always had a soft spot for bugs. They’re so often misunderstood, and people generally make assumptions about them without putting in any real effort to understand them.” White rifled through a set of medical instruments he kept under the table. Every so often he placed one onto a nearby metal shelf, making clear his enthusiasm whenever fear broke through the anesthesia and caused her breath to hitch.

“Take slugs, for instance. They’ve got no shell to hide in like snails do, but this allows them to hide and squeeze through much smaller spaces, getting away from predators with much more ease than just hiding in a flimsy shell. And their slime, it’s actually so thick and viscous that they could slide over a razor blade without taking any damage, isn’t that cool?”

She stared at him.

“That’s actually what made me think about this. People create a fluid that smooths over the friction involved in sex. Sure we can stretch, but that can only go so far, especially with an unwilling participant.” He nonchalantly pressed a hand against her bare crotch, pausing for a moment before giving it a few gentle strokes.

“I just want to know how far that extends. If a pussy can accommodate a dick, then what else can it take? Sure, I could probably just collect a sample, figure out its structural integrity, blah blah blah and call it a day, but-” White pulled a syringe and a little bottle from the shelf, making a show of loading it and flicking away the air bubbles. “-but I’m really more of a hands-on learner.” He finished, sliding the needle into her mons pubis. Within moments the nothingness was replaced with a burning ache localized specifically to the surrounding area of the injection.

White nodded excitedly as her face, though numb, still reddened. “I’m actually really proud of this one. Stumbled across it by accident awhile ago when I was still using myself to experiment on. See?” he interrupted himself. “I’m nothing if not fair. I am more than willing to take the pain I dish out if it’s in the name of science.

Though,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I admit I was a bit too squeamish to do this one. That’s where you came in! I’ve given you a drug that actually coats the veins in a kind of shield that blocks the effects of the anesthetic within a very small area. That way you’ll stay nice and still for me while I, to put it crudely, fuck around and find out.” He laughed at his own dry humor for a moment before placing his hand back into her folds.

Furrowed, concentrated brows replaced his smile as he rubbed her clit in soft, patient circles. By all accounts it should have been at best ineffective and at worst uncomfortable. The assault, the drugs, the way he tried to eke arousal from her in an unnervingly clinical, mechanical way, nothing about this was anywhere near putting her in the mood. But seeing as her entire sense of touch both started and ended where his fingers danced over her skin, the woman found herself relieved that the paralytic was stopping her from pressing even harder into his hand. She tried to think of something, anything else that would take her out of this moment. As he slipped a finger into her ready opening, she felt guilty wishing he would have added even more.

“You’re really red, y’know. Feels good, huh.”

Right. This was torture. Bizarre, sure, but that didn’t change the horror of her predicament. Bodies are made to adapt to bad situations, so of course hers was only responding like this until- Fuck. FUCK! White added several fingers, rubbing against her walls as they trailed closer to her g spot. He inched forward before drawing back and deliberately delaying her gratification. He edged her again and again, making her desperation that much more intense. The woman had become so slick that every thrust, no matter the speed, elicited a thick squelch that was impossible to ignore in the otherwise silent room. His gloved hand as well as the table was more than soaked with her musk. She could smell her own arousal and wanted nothing more than for him to, at the very least, take away the rest of her senses too so she could pretend her body wasn’t so desperately into whatever weird ass experiment he was conducting.

“Hm, I’d say you seem about ready.”

Ready? Her eyes pleaded with morbid intrigue for him to elaborate, but she quickly wished they hadn’t. He pulled out a gruesome looking tool. It had multiple sharp edges lined up so as to form a cylinder of knives. Without skipping a beat, White took the tool to his own arm, looking her dead in the eyes as he peeled off a thin slice of skin. He winced, but remained cool in his composure.

“Do you like it?” He asked genuinely, waving the flap of skin before flicking it out of the way. Beads of blood lazily formed as his body got the message that it had been injured, but he ignored them and allowed them to dribble down as he spoke. “I wouldn’t say I’m a master welder, but I think this turned out pretty cool!” She felt sick; he couldn’t possibly be planning on- her stomach dropped. White lined up the contraption with her entrance, and carefully he began working it into her.

Despite everything in her silently screaming in terror, her pussy hungrily clenched around the tool. There were no words to describe the sensation. Despite him remaining slow and gentle in his movements, it felt like the slowest rough fuck of her life. It was simultaneously maddening, and to her dismay, bliss. Her body craved more, harder. From what she could see, there was now blood pouring alongside her arousal. All she could think was this should hurt so much worse. White climbed up onto the table, straddling her. He placed a hand on her still numb chin as he drove the tool deeper inside.

“There’s one final thing I need you to do for me.” he growled. His hand pistoned steadily, each time pressing right against her g spot. “Cum.” Her desperate pussy more than happily obliged. She throbbed and clenched against the bladed dildo. Each edge sank deeper and deeper into her walls as she rode each wave of euphoria the orgasm forced upon her.

The pleasure dissipated far quicker than it had built up. No sooner had she begun piecing her consciousness back together than when the reality of the situation was finally able to reach the rational part of her brain. It didn’t just hurt, it was agony. The woman’s lower body seized into what felt like the worst cramp of her life. The world began to spin, and she gazed lazily at the blood now covering her legs, the table, White, and a fair portion of the cement floor as well.

“Hey now, finally had enough?” White stroked her face which was now covered in both tears and her own blood. “You did a great job! I’ve never gotten this far into the experiment before a subject gave up on me! I’ll clean you up after I finish writing down my findings, okay? And then if you wake up again, I’ll make this up to you, I promise! I’ll share what conclusions we can draw, and we can-”

The woman’s hearing faded, and her vision followed soon after. With a sick sense of hopelessness, all she could think was I hope I lost enough to kill me. Not only to escape the living Hell White had thrown her into, but to avoid seeing him follow through on his promise.

#I originally called this 'another gross experiment'#and I'm begging my past self to elaborate #WHAT WERE THE OTHER EXPERIMENTS #murderbabe #murder oc #leech writes #2022 #leech ocs #grey #also multiple times I accidentally wrote Grey because depending on mannerisms my brain just fills in the closest matching name #the hardest edit was finding all the times I messed that up /hj #leech.grey

8 notes · View notes

miragespacenter · 2 months

Text

A Blissful Hot Stone Massage Experience in Dubai with Mirage Spa Dubai

Dubai, a city synonymous with luxury and opulence, offers a plethora of experiences to unwind and rejuvenate. Amidst the bustling urban landscape, Mirage Spa Dubai emerges as an oasis of tranquility, beckoning those in search of ultimate relaxation. One standout offering that deserves the spotlight is their Hot Stone Massage – a divine journey into serenity.

Indulge in Luxury at Mirage Spa Dubai:

Nestled in the heart of Dubai, Mirage Spa Dubai stands as a testament to unparalleled luxury and a commitment to holistic well-being. As you step into this haven, you are greeted by a serene ambiance that sets the stage for an indulgent escape from the demands of daily life.

Mirage Spa Dubai has masterfully combined traditional spa practices with modern wellness techniques, creating an immersive experience for its patrons. Among their standout treatments is the Hot Stone Massage, a therapeutic ritual that promises to melt away tension and stress.

The Art of Hot Stone Massage:

At the core of this experience is the art of Hot Stone Massage – a technique where smooth, heated stones are placed on specific points of the body. The combination of heat and gentle pressure works wonders to release muscle tension and promote a deep sense of relaxation.

As you lay on a plush massage table, the skilled therapists at Mirage Spa Dubai use expert hands to glide warm stones along your body's key energy points. The soothing heat penetrates deep into your muscles, promoting increased blood flow and easing any stiffness or discomfort.

Healing and Rejuvenation with Mirage Spa Dubai:

Mirage Spa Dubai's Hot Stone Massage is more than just a pampering session; it's a holistic approach to wellness. The carefully chosen volcanic stones are not only therapeutic but also believed to have grounding properties. The treatment aims to balance the body's energy, leaving you feeling revitalized and at peace.

The skilled therapists at Mirage Spa Dubai tailor the Hot Stone Massage to individual needs, ensuring a personalized experience that addresses specific concerns. Whether you seek relief from chronic pain or simply crave a moment of tranquility, this massage is designed to cater to diverse wellness goals.

Embark on a Journey of Relaxation:

Embarking on a Hot Stone Massage journey at Mirage Spa Dubai is an invitation to unwind, let go, and reconnect with your inner self. The harmonious blend of luxurious surroundings, expert therapists, and the therapeutic power of heated stones creates an experience that transcends the ordinary.

In conclusion, Mirage Spa Dubai's Hot Stone Massage is a must-try for anyone seeking a respite from the fast-paced life of Dubai. This blissful experience combines the art of massage with the healing power of heat, promising a journey that rejuvenates not only the body but also the mind and soul.

Visit Mirage Spa Dubai today and let the warmth of their Hot Stone Massage Experience in Duba itransport you to a state of pure relaxation. Indulge in the luxury you deserve and discover the serenity that awaits amidst the vibrant cityscape of Dubai.

0 notes

chocolatedetectivehottub · 5 months

Text

goa spa massage,

Best goa spa massage

Welcome to the ultimate guide on rejuvenation and relaxation in Goa! If you're in search of a blissful escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, look no further than an exquisite spa massage experience in this tropical paradise. Goa is renowned for its pristine beaches, vibrant culture, and now, its exceptional spa services. Whether you're a local or a tourist exploring this coastal haven, indulging in a soothing spa massage is an absolute must-do activity. So sit back, unwind, and let us take you on a journey through some of the best Goa spa massages that will leave you feeling refreshed and revitalized like never before!

goa spa massage services

When it comes to spa massage services in Goa, you'll find an abundance of options that cater to all your relaxation needs. From luxurious resort spas to quaint wellness centers tucked away in the picturesque corners of the state, there is something for everyone.

Goa offers a wide range of traditional and modern spa treatments that are designed to melt away stress and rejuvenate your body and mind. Whether you're looking for a deep tissue massage to ease muscle tension or a soothing aromatherapy session to calm your senses, you'll be spoiled for choice.

One popular type of spa massage in Goa is Ayurvedic massage, which draws inspiration from ancient Indian healing traditions. Using herbal oils and gentle techniques, Ayurvedic massages aim to restore balance within the body by targeting specific energy points.

If you're seeking a more holistic experience, consider trying out Thai yoga massage. This unique form of therapy combines acupressure with stretching movements derived from yoga postures. It not only helps release physical tension but also promotes mental clarity and emotional well-being.

For those who prefer a pampering session with added benefits for their skin, there are plenty of spas offering invigorating facials using natural ingredients like honey or sandalwood. These treatments help nourish and hydrate the skin while leaving it glowing with radiance.

No matter what type of spa massage service you choose in Goa, one thing is certain – you'll be treated with utmost care by skilled therapists who are dedicated to providing a memorable experience. So why wait? Indulge yourself in the serene ambiance and let go of all worries as expert hands work their magic on your weary soul.

goa spa massage

Goa, the beach paradise of India, is not only known for its stunning coastline and vibrant nightlife but also for its rejuvenating spa experiences. If you're looking to pamper yourself and unwind in this tropical haven, a Goa spa massage should be on your must-do list.

With numerous luxury resorts and boutique hotels scattered across the state, there is no shortage of options when it comes to indulging in a soothing spa massage. Whether you prefer traditional Ayurvedic treatments or contemporary therapies, Goa has something to offer everyone.

Imagine being cocooned in a serene ambiance as skilled therapists work their magic on your tired muscles. The gentle strokes and aromatic oils used during a Goa spa massage will transport you into a state of pure bliss. Feel the tension melt away as expert hands knead away knots and stress from every inch of your body.

The benefits of a spa massage are not just limited to relaxation; they also promote better circulation, relieve pain, improve sleep quality, and boost overall well-being. It's like giving yourself permission to escape from the chaos of everyday life and reconnect with your inner self amidst nature's soothing embrace.

Whether you opt for an ocean-view treatment room or immerse yourself in lush greenery at an eco-resort's wellness center, one thing is certain – a Goa spa massage promises an unforgettable experience that leaves you feeling refreshed both physically and mentally.

So why wait? Treat yourself to the ultimate indulgence on your next trip to Goa. Let go of all worries as skilled therapists guide you towards tranquility through their healing touch. After all, what could be more heavenly than sinking into pure relaxation while surrounded by the breathtaking beauty of this coastal paradise?

0 notes

orange-spa-massage-center-dubai · 5 months

Text

Reflexology body Massage service_Dubai

Welcome to Orange Spa, the ultimate destination for the best reflexology foot massage in Dubai! If you're looking to relax and rejuvenate then you've come to the right place. Our luxurious spa in Al Barsha is renowned for its exceptional foot massage services that will leave you feeling like you're walking on clouds. we invite you to step into our tranquil oasis and indulge in the incredible benefits of reflexology massage. prepare yourself for an unforgettable pampering session that will melt away all your stress and tension. Let us take care of your feet while you embark on a journey towards total relaxation.

Best foot massage services in Dubai at orange spa

At Orange Spa, we take pride in offering the best foot massage services in Dubai. With our expert therapists and serene ambiance, we ensure that every minute you spend with us is pure bliss. Our skilled professionals are trained in the art of reflexology massage, a therapeutic technique based on the belief that specific points on the feet correspond to different organs and systems within the body.

When you step into our spa, you'll immediately feel a sense of calm wash over you. The soft lighting, soothing music, and calming aromas create an atmosphere conducive to relaxation. Our luxurious foot massage treatments are designed to relieve stress, improve circulation, and promote overall well-being.

Using a combination of gentle pressure and targeted techniques, our therapists work their magic on your feet. They will focus on these reflex points to stimulate nerve endings and release any blockages or tension built up in your body. You can expect not only physical benefits but also mental clarity as this ancient therapy restores harmony to your entire being.

Our commitment to excellence extends beyond just providing exceptional services – we prioritize hygiene and sanitation above all else. From freshly laundered towels to sterilized equipment, rest assured that your health and safety are paramount at Orange Spa.

Reflexology foot massage center in Al Barsha

Located in the vibrant neighborhood of Al Barsha, you will find a hidden gem that offers an unparalleled experience in foot massage – the reflexology foot massage center. This oasis of tranquility is dedicated to providing the ultimate relaxation and healing through the ancient practice of reflexology.

Step into this serene retreat and feel your worries melt away as skilled therapists work their magic on your feet. Using precise pressure techniques, they stimulate specific points on your feet that correspond to different organs and systems in your body. By targeting these areas, they can help alleviate pain, reduce stress, improve circulation, boost energy levels, and promote overall well-being.

The reflexology foot massage center in Al Barsha goes beyond just relieving physical tension; it also calms the mind and restores inner balance. As you surrender to the rhythmic kneading motions and soothing touch of expert hands, you'll enter a state of deep relaxation.

luxury foot massage

At Orange Spa, you can discover the true meaning of luxuryfoot massage. Their expert therapists are skilled at applying precise pressure to specific points on your feet, unlocking blocked energy channels and promoting overall well-being. The tranquil ambiance and soothing music further enhance the therapeutic effects of your session.

Whether you've had a long day exploring the city or simply want to treat yourself to some self-care, Orange Spa offers a range of foot massage services tailored to meet your individual needs. From traditional reflexology techniques to hot stone therapy and aromatherapy blends, each treatment is designed to provide maximum comfort and relief.

The convenient location near Al Barsha makes it easily accessible for residents and visitors alike. And if you happen to be shopping at Mall of the Emirates or staying nearby, Orange Spa's close proximity ensures that you won't have to go far for an exceptional foot massage experience.

Remember - taking care of yourself is not just a luxury; it's an essential part of maintaining balance in our fast-paced lives. Treat yourself with love and kindness by indulging in one of life's simple pleasures: a luxurious foot massage at Orange Spa in Dubai's vibrant Al Barsha neighborhood.

0 notes

sweetiegirlsue · 7 months

Text

diary entry 1 (10/07/23)

i was having the worst week, like the absolute worst week - mentally, physically, emotionally, work-wise. all of it. i felt alone, and hated it, but i also wanted to be alone bc i didn't want to see anyone, or moreover, anyone see me. to the point where i was wondering if i needed to be committed... like that bad. i was wondering why, and i thought maybe it was bc i saw my abuser last week (pure happenstance - that's a story in-and-of itself) for the first time in coming up on a year now, haven't even spoke to him since may. i thought he no longer lived here so i had this false sense of safety but i'll get more into that at a later date. not sure i'm ready to unpack that that trauma, but when i am.... buckle in.

anyways: felt like shit, ate like shit, didn't want to do shit. i was mean to the people i loved and i hated it but i didn't care to change? i was ugly. actually physically as well lol i didn't even care to get ready-ready except for one day out of the entire week. all of this to say... i thought it was because of him and i was losing my mind thinking i was like, broken for real. turns out i was freaking pms-ing. LMAO like seriously why does the bitchy PMS trope get more and more real with age (yes i am 26 yes i am decrepit).

but i feel like that was kind of a symptom of what i've been struggling with lately bc i'm realizing i've completely lost my sense of self. that being said, i'm actively on a journey to self discovery and strengthening my relationship with God. i'm trying to be more present, to stop my thoughts (especially negative ones) in their tracks (something i learned in "get out of your head" by jennie allen). its honestly helping at least a bit, which is what she says in the book - catching even just one negative thought, acknowledging where its coming from then giving it over to God, will change the trajectory of every other thought.

along with that, i'm keeping my social media usage to a record minimum - literally less than an hour a day across all platforms, which has also been very healing. i know its corny to talk about and it really does show my age, but i really feel like we do not need to be consuming the shit that is spoon-fed to us on a daily basis, constantly, on all these platforms. when i fully realized a lot of my thoughts were how i could tweet about something, or make a story about something, or an instagram post. like what the fuck? and for what? it's so nice being able to unplug and reframe my thinking. i've been doing good and i'm liking the breath of fresh air so far.

speaking of fresh air, what made me finally take the time to sit down and journal my thoughts (which is truly just a stream of consciousness) is when i realized what i'm doing at the current moment. i'm sitting on my couch with my patio door open welcoming the morning sun and autumn breeze, drinking coffee and watching netflix all cozy on a cool, fall morning. i'm texting a boy that i used to "date" in middle school and have had a few flings with throughout the years since.

back in middle school i remember around this time of year, sitting on the couch while my parents were at work and my brother was at a friends, watching netflix (and/or playing wii fit) and drinking coffee while texting specifically this boy. it's like i'm taken back to that exact time (except this time i'm indulging in a few joints lol). my inner child is feeling healed and this is the most at peace i've felt in a long time. i usually don't allow myself to rest, i guess i fell as though i don't deserve to (?), so it's nice feeling like i'm allowed to have this time to myself. s/o sex education season 4 <3

in conclusion, this is me documenting the jump start to my healing journey. my focus right now is catching negative thoughts and letting them go, and just being present in the real world. let this be your reminder to pause and actually smell the roses. like literally bend down, put the damn flower to your nose, and smell it when you see one. i'm talking to both me and you on that one.

i hope this is the first of many more diary entries, which i will sign off with the verse OTD:

show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. (Psalm 25:4-5)

0 notes

yumeleta · 2 years

Text

competitor [ shu yamino x streamer!reader ]

— shu yamino has been nijisanji en’s ace in the game valorant for quite a while, until you, a recently debuted vtuber, arrive to swiftly snatch the title from his hands. what you both didn’t expect was that you also snatched his heart in the process.

notes 2.3k words, fluff, reader is gender neutral, no beta we die like vox’s clan, written on mobile so the formatting might suck on desktop, this may have some valo terms but i did try my best to make this as non player friendly as possible, very very self indulgent

“aaand the nijien curse strikes once more,” vox muses out loud, eliciting a number of defeated groans in the group call and countless motivating messages in your live chat. “this always happens whenever a new wave debuts, no? the scuff consistently comes back no matter the game.” the demon lets out a lighthearted laugh as a smile quickly makes its way to your face after hearing what he pointed out. “yeah, i’d say so. this happened with noctyx and everyone else.” shu chimes in with his iconic high pitched giggle ( or is it a cackle? either way, it’s definitely infectious for you ).

you, shu, vox, nina and rosemi originally planned to play a new multiplayer game that was fresh out of steam, but unfortunately after thirty or so minutes of trying to fix the in-game problems you had, the group just gave up on the agenda and decided to migrate to another game. you were especially bummed because this was your first collab outside your debut wave, but it couldn’t be helped. as a former nijisanji enjoyer, you knew the scuff was to be expected from watching your seniors play a variety of games.

“hmm, i was gonna suggest minecraft but we could just save that for a proper time,” nina says. “ooh, ooh! y/n baby, have you tried valorant?” you quirk your eyebrow upwards in curiosity. “i have played a few rounds, but i’m still getting used to it. i think i still have it on my pc so we could try that out,” you say, your model nodding excitedly as the others immediately boot up the said game. “perfect! you four can teach mama the controls, because i have never played this game before.” you giggle at nina’s statement.

after a few minutes of preparation in-game, the chat was just as hyped as you were as the group finally starts the round. you decided on [ fav valo character ] ; you were already quite experienced with them and they also happened to be your favourite of all the agents.

shu notices your pick and comments with a casual tone lacing his voice, “eyy you play c/n? nice,” a bashful grin appears on your expression, and you were grateful to every god out there that the camera didn’t manage to catch that. otherwise, you would be setting yourself up for a round ( or two ) of teasing from your audience. “what about you, shu?” you turn the attention onto him. “ah, maybe i’ll go for sage. she heals and puts up walls, it’s pretty cool.” he chuckles while selecting.

the countdown soon ended and the five of you spawned on the game map. you weren’t nervous in the slightest, just trying to remember how the game’s mechanics work. you haven’t played the shooter in a while, so your memory now fails you.

“use wasd to move around, shift to walk and ctrl to crouch.” shu instructs nina and she obediently follows, crouching up and down repeatedly in a teabagging gesture. you and the sorcerer laugh at her antics and mirror what she did. ten seconds left until the barriers come down and rosemi calls out, “c’mon guys! the round’s gonna start!” as her character refers to the entrances.

shu trails behind you, gun in hand. “i’ll back you up.” though you thought he did it purely for the tactics and winning the game, you can’t help but find the action endearing. laughing, you tease as a smug grin makes its way to your lips. “don’t you think you’re babying me too much? i know how to play this game, ya know.” “let’s see about that.”

needless to say, both the yaminions and your fandom loved that interaction. the live chat quickly exploded, a mix of amused, surprised and comical reactions sending the scroll speed into overdrive. ike, who just happened to drop by your stream, was face palming at how the timing was a little too perfect.

Ike Eveland 【NIJISANJI EN】 🔧: i came here to say hi only to find these two lovebirds flirting right in front of my salad

you weren’t able to see the message because of how focused you were on the game, to the chat and the clippers’ dismay.

as the round went on, you snipe three enemies in a row from your vantage point, switching guns in the speed of light before defusing the spike right when the timer went below three seconds. it was a clutch, which surprised your teammates in a pleasant way.

“good lord y/n, are you coming for shu’s title of mvp right now?” vox lets out a deep laugh. “y/n, how are you so good at this?!” rosemi joins in, her character seemingly holding you at gunpoint despite the lack of friendly fire. “tell us your secrets. did you hack?!” you gasp dramatically at the joking accusation. “i would never! if anyone it’s probably shu using aimbot or something.” “what? these skills are all natural.” the aforementioned sorcerer boasts as he crouches up and down.

kill after kill after kill, the following rounds pass by rapidly. you managed to die 6 times, but it was an insignificant number when compared to your 34 kills. your friends watched you play in awe as you were the only one alive in the team taking yet another win for the match.

“how is my own kouhai better than me?!” rosemi whines, feigning distress when your banner appears with mvp written across it in the post-match results. you could only laugh, as you weren’t quite sure either how you came to be so good. “i played a few other shooter games before valorant ; mayybee it’s experience?” you drawl out the ‘maybe’ part of the sentence. the pink haired maiden only pouts in response.

nina calls out after a few more matches, “i got a good idea honeys,” she starts, a grin on her face. “since y/n and shu are good at this game, how about they have a 1v1 custom match and the three of us sit back and spectate?” the winner takes the title of valorant ace.” vox and rosemi make intelligible noises of agreement and you nod determinedly, lips contorting into a smirk. “yamino, you ready to lose?” “nah, are YOU ready to lose though?” he replies with a smug expression before laughing. you didn’t notice your chat speeding up once more after your proud exchange of words.

vox takes advantage of this moment and immediately starts narrating, “y/n l/n and shu yamino raise the stakes on the ultimate battle for the valorant crown! will y/n manage to take the win or will shu get to stay a bit longer on the throne? tune in now on nijisanji en to find out!” both you and the sorcerer laugh in disbelief — this demon truly never fails to make the stream comedic, you thought.

you went with the same character you used in the previous matches. you were familiar with their techniques which further boosted your confidence. instead of sage, shu goes with reyna this time. you mute your microphone for a moment to talk to your chat. “do you think i’ll win, chat?” an influx of messages flood your chat, most of it consisting of ‘ganbare y/n’, ‘winner’s pov’, and ‘good luck’ from your audience. “you’re right — winner’s pov right here, guys.” you state before unmuting to finally start the battle.

the walls go down as the three spectators cheer, making bets as to who will take the victory. “vox owes me wine if y/n wins. y/n baby, please win so i can get my wine.” nina pleads, giggling. rosemi claps her hands in excitement while vox just chuckles.

you circle the site a number of times, trying to spot a certain sorcerer to aim for the kill. but just as soon as you spot a spike planted, you get shot from behind, quickly ending the first round. shu’s character jumps around, crouching up and down on your corpse to mess with you. of course, the taunt worked.

“oh, you wanna play dirty huh?” you comment threateningly while shu just snickers, proud smirk never disappearing from his face. you equip a sniper in the second round, climbing up to the highest vantage point. you see a silhouette of a character, and your scope swiftly locks onto them, taking only one headshot to earn the point.

“y/n honey that was so good!” nina cheers, to the dismay of vox and his wine funds. shu grins despite his loss. “you’re kinda good, not gonna lie.” you raise an eyebrow, playfully offended before bursting into laughter. “i’m offended you only realize that now, shu.” “nah, i wanted to baby you earlier. little kouhai ~” the unexpected reply from the sorcerer makes your eyes widen in surprise. heat creeps up to your cheeks and you tried slapping it away, though it only made your face redder in the process. shu notices your sudden silence, his signature v-shaped smile never once wavering. you regained composure before going on with the rest of the match. the both of you playfully banter and trash talk each other throughout, occasionally talking about random topics while playing to lighten the mood.

it flies by what seemed to be a while, and soon the final round has come. your eyes dart towards the scores, 12-12. one more point for either side and the match will be all over.

the spectator trio gushed to each other how tight the competition was. it was as if a knife could cut through the tension in the stream. the chat also seemed to be very nervous, despite it being nothing more than a friendly match.

“hey y/n, what do you think of me?” shu casually inquires, breaking the brief silence. you got caught off guard with the sudden question, taking a moment to regain thought. what did you think of him?

it was a question worth pondering over, well, for you at least. you did indeed like shu in a … rather more-than-platonic way. but like hell you would admit that on a livestream, so you go for the safe option. “well, you’re really nice. you help me a lot whenever i get some technical difficulties and i’m really thankful for tha —” your train of thought gets cut when you heard footsteps to your right.

you get clicked back into reality as soon as you spot shu’s character. you immediately shoot towards him using your automatic gun, and after a split second he’s down. the end announcement flashes on your screen, victory. you won.

you can hear the delighted squeals of nina and rosemi ( well, mostly nina ) and vox and shu’s defeated ‘aw’s. the chat seemed to celebrate too, spamming ‘y/n gaming’ and whatnot.

“you saw through my trick,” shu said, chuckling sheepishly. “i just asked that question to distract you, sorry ‘bout that.” he got slightly more timid, and all you could do is stammer. you couldn’t believe that you did all that thinking for nothing, but oh well, it couldn’t be helped.

nina clasps her hands together and grins widely. “i think that’s enough gaming for today, yeah? y/n got the win, i’m getting my wine and vox is going broke. today is a good day, isn’t it, honeys?” the demon was groaning in dismay, which only made you giggle. the chat found it hilarious as well, filled with ‘LMAO’s and ‘LOL’s.

“yeaah, i’m definitely exhausted from all that gunning. i think my head is spinning right now,” you half-joke, yawning. “i think i’ll end the stream here. thank you for all the support! i’ll read all the supas and donations next stream, but for now i’ll go get my rest. bye bye everyone ~” your friends also bid goodbyes to their viewers before you all finally switch to your respective ending scenes. you lean back on your chair as your stream ended, eyes already drooping from tiredness.

your moment of silence was interrupted with a discord notification, a direct message coming from shu.

shu : hey

y/n : yeah?

shu : you were pretty good in the match earlier, wanna play again in the future or something

y/n : of course! you’re good too if i say so myself

shu : eyy nice

shu : oh one more thing

you subconsciously lean closer to the screen, intrigued by whatever he’s going to say next.

shu : what do you rlly think about me? i’m not asking this to distract you this time i’m genuinely curious

ah, you thought. you knew this question was going to come around once more but you didn’t expect it to be this early right after your stream.

y/n : you’re nice, supportive and funny. you’re really smart and calm too! i wanna be closer to you because i look up to you a lot

y/n : and why r u asking this rn? do you have a crush on me or something 🤨

shu : i

shu : actually yeah i guess i do

you blink once. twice. did you get tired to the point you’re hallucinating now? are you dreaming? you didn’t really believe what was happening. it was especially shocking how nonchalantly the sorcerer confirmed what you originally thought to be a joke.

as quickly as realization hit you, you felt your energy rushing back into your veins, the tension and tiredness from last stream melting away in an instant. you stared quietly at your computer screen, mustering up every functioning brain cell left in your mind to come up with a proper reply.

y/n : oh shit you do?

shu : yeah i guess so

y/n : well in that case… i guess i like you too

shu : oh sweet

shu : i know it's kinda late for you rn and i don't want you to lose sleep, maybe we can talk about this tomorrow morning through breakfast? i can pick you up if you want :)

heart pounding loudly beneath your chest, you didn’t try fighting the smile that grew on your face. your face heats up again, and you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. you reply one more time before shutting off your pc.

y/n : i’d like that a lot. good night shu <3

you sink into the softness of your bed, almost immediately falling asleep. you can’t wait to see him again.

#/ yumeleta works #i was going to post this on ao3 but i realized i have to wait a while to make an account there LOL i got impatient #shu yamino x reader #luxiem x reader #shu yamino #luxiem #nijisanji en #nijisanji #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en x reader

1K notes · View notes

theravencawsatmidnight · 3 years

Text

Rabbit iiii

I had this sitting in my Docs just waiting for my ass to REMEMBER ITS READY . 😩. Im sorry.

Tags. @rosiehufflepuff @goofygobber @khemz1312

Draco had moved to his bed with you on his pillow making sure you were comfortable. He had wrapped up your foot for the time being while he searched for some kind of healing spell, rummaging through his things trying to find something, anything that would help. Why did he not have any healing spells?! He just had trick spells and the sort!! “Dammit!” he slammed his fist on his dresser looking over his shoulder at you to see you licking your wrapped up foot with your ears down. “Someone must know a damn numbing spell in this bloody house.” Draco stumbled to you hitting his bed dropping to his knees to watch you. He felt like total shit… you were in pain because of him, it had been such a good day.. Draco was finally understanding his own self and feelings. He enjoyed having you in his pocket wiggling your nose up at him, he wanted it too last a little longer..but it would be better if he stopped all this… before it got too bad..

His plan was to find someone to change you back in the morning and let you go .. but with your foot hurt it would not be safe to change you back till it was healed.

He wrapped it but … its still broken and it hurts.. I know a healing potion but i cant make it like this..

“Rabbit, im going to find some kind of spell okay? Stay right here dont move.” he got up digging his knuckles into his bed and running out of his dorm. .

Ok..ay.. I wont go anywhere anyway.. You snuggled into his pillow licking your injury again. I wonder whos going to help him..

He started with his House first; asking everyone who was still awake if they had a healing or numbing spell, unfortunately everyone in Slytherin was not exactly healers. His second option was the teachers… and he hated asking the bloody teachers for help. Draco pushed the classroom door open to see Professor Snape observing a cauldron after pouring some mixtures into it. The blond walked into the room closing the creaky door giving away his position to the teacher. Snape glanced over raising a brow at the troubled looking boy. This was interesting, Draco Malfoy looking puzzled and hurt. “Something on your mind… Malfoy?” he turned crossing his arms at the boy. “To what do i owe this… unpleasant visit.”

“I need a healing or numbing potion for a rabbit”

“So you did turn a student into a rabbit?” he rubbed between his eyes turning away to stare into his cauldron thinking this over. “Explain, Malfoy. You have ten minutes.”

Draco rubbed his face trying his best to explain. “It was just for fun, in the beginning……..”

“Mhm….”

“Shes a hufflepuff and you know they are Loyal and all that. I used that against her and i well.. Blackmailed her into following me around or i would tell.”

“And she was … attempting to cheat?”

“Yes”

“So instead.. Of asking what the Hufflepuff needed help with you blackmailed her into being your little …. Lost plaything.”

“I know it sounds bad but-”

“It is bad , Malfoy.” Snape turned to the man pointing his wand at him. “You have no authority to do such a thing. No authority over other students. No authority-”

“I care about her,.”

The man blinked, retracting his wand. “Draco Malfoy? Caring about someone other than himself? This must be one special Hufflepuff.”

“Her foot is broken because of me, shes in pain right now. No one in my bloody house knows any healing or numbing spells. I just want to heal her, get her changed back and let her go.”

“Do you know the consequences of such a thing Malfoy for both of you?” Snape groaned, fetching a green potion off his nearby desk. “Suspension, losing your wand, expulsion. Im sure Lucious would love that”

“Who else knows….” he snatched the potion reading it.

“Healing potion takes effect instantly but you need to figure out how to change her back by tomorrow night. And everyone knows, Dumbledore knows, expect a meeting with him after you change her back.. And whats coming, now get out of my classroom…”

Draco rushed all the way back to his House up the stairs slamming his door open and shut behind him. “Rabbit…” he was frantic looking for you.

Im here.. Heh. you squeaked getting his attention. Draco rushed over getting on his bed picking you up with his free hand. “Here, drink this. Youll feel better.”

You wobbled over to the potion sniffing it over and over. Hmm… smells like the real thing. Draco tipped the potion to your lips so you could drink. It had a bitter taste but you felt tingly all over. The wrapping fell off your foot and you hopped around excited. Im healed im healed!!!!

“Ahh.. Rabbit it worked…” he picked you up in his arms groaning with relief…

Draco spent the night on his bed with you buried in his shirt looking at him through the neck hole. He told you all about his life, his family, his opinions on things.. -it was a long list- . You listened to him quietly , wiggling your nose wile he stroked your ear slowly.

“Rabbit i…” Draco bit his lower lip as if he was trying to find the right words.

Whats wrong? You inched closer laying your head on his chest.

“Im….dammit..” Draco sat up, catching you in his shirt holding you there while his other hand ran through his blond hair. “Im.. …sorry…”

Sorry? Hes.. hes really sorry?!?!?!

“Snape gave me the potion i-i told him everything . He said Dumbeldore knows. Rabbit im.. im very sorry for how i was. This bloody school will most likely send me off to Azkaban. “

Draco.. you nuzzled up into his neck and he strokes your ear while he talked.

“Im changing you back in the morning, if you never want to see me again.. thats.. fine. But..” he pulled you out of the shirt holding you in front of him. “If you do want to see me again. Will you wait for me?”

You tilted your head at this question. Wait for him? Does.. he mean Azkaban? Your ears drooped along your back at the question. I.. Draco i will.. . You gave him a nod and the man choked on his own breath. “Oh Rabbit,” he laid back down. “Thank you…”

It was early morning. McGonagall had changed you back in her classroom just like you thought she would. She advised you to take it easy and you might have some rabbit side effects for a couple weeks. It had not even been 15 minutes and you were already craving carrots.

Draco was staring at you in wide eyes. You were back.. and safe. Slowly he reached out and you turned to him reaching out . He just wanted to wrap his arms around you, say sorry… and all you wanted to do was eat carrots and be in his arms.. but..

“Mr. Malfoy this cannot go unexcused.” McGonagall said, pulling you away from the man.

Dumbeldore had walked into the room by now too.. “Malfoy, miss Y/n. My office, please.”

#.RabbitFic #draco x hufflepuff!reader #draco malfoy #draco 😤

35 notes · View notes